The metaphors used for husbands and wives is something novel and interesting. If given a chance I would certainly read the book to understand and analyze the "bonding and blossoming" relationship between the couples.
you have mentioned the practical and time tested truth when you said that husbands must treat their wives as their babies and the wives should look after them as mothers do. That is the final step to find true love. Love is not love if the person concerned is not ready for sacrifices of any kind and as I recently read that person should be ready to give up his or her own comfort and time and be ready to do anything.
Hi
Indeed, it is a real pain to have war memories on the mind. It seems there is someone who actually fought and witnessed a real war.
"your eyes tell me stories that i cannot bear to hear,"
Imagery helps me to understand what it could be to flash memories of genocide and bloodshed with eyes, eyes that tell the stories of a bloody war and a lot of trauma to live with.
Wars in the world are a true shame for humanity as a whole, wherever they are fought.
"no length of time could erase these horrors your eyes beheld,"
Your description and poetic expression of a ghastly event are excellent.
It is a pathetic story of loneliness and pain. As a young person it is no doubt difficult to lead such a life. yet you had shown extra ordinary patience and love for the family and stayed within the family instead of finding other diversions like the father and the brother. They have escaped from their primary duties towards the mother.
If you add some dialog and more emotion it would add to the story making it more interesting. you have an interesting story line. work a little more and it would get better.
This Utopic world imagined by the author looks delicious. If we have to reach this world of beauty and clean environment everyone of the earth should work for it. They should get their body and mind under control.
" All hints of unsafe gases wiped out and free vitality around the world."
It is like a prose poem that shows the kind of world where everybody lives well and enjoy freedom of mind.
"When we set aside our physical contrasts and acknowledge we are every one of the one"
"But in the end, Love is a decision of the mind."
I agree with this statement. What an irony! love, many think is a matter of heart. As my own experience tells it has more to do with the mind rather than with the heart.
Another meaningful observation made in this unique essay is,
" true love will also make you demand from yourself that you become selfless, and forsake all things, including your own safety, ...."
It needs lots of true grit to go through the tough test of love.
I haven't come across anyone who has the above kind of stuff in his or her personality.
I sure would like to do as you advise,
" Develop your philosophy. Improve self, and follow your path."
I can imagine the sweetness and light that await on the other side of the horizon.
Language and style are equally admirable. Prose just flow well and the chosen passages of verse too are arresting.
Thank you for this wonderful and light-filling article.
it is a touching story, with the loss of life partner and the pain she felt.
Well narrated in a convincing voice. Description of the present sadness and the plans to go ahead with sit well with the setting.
Her way of feeling his presence is heartening. Indeed it is a time that cannot be put in words so easily.
Life is strange and at times cold like a machine that runs with indifference. Whatever happens time passes and takes us with it.
" I stood swaying, remembering him. I will survive. It really is a wonderful world."
It is going to be your WDC Account Anniversary soon.
Hello Megan,
This is a random review I happened to come across.
Your love for Twilight and the characters, Bella, Edward, James and Victoria and the Cullen family is well conveyed through this prose writing. Indeed, we all had been through that phase where vampires have become real life characters.
Your story telling and the theater visit with your husband made interesting writing.
Prose style is great and so are the thoughts well organized.
Hello Joto-Kai,
Thank you for sharing the wonderful ideas on a hook in the story. This is the kind of story I would like to create.
If the beginning is the end or the middle of the story, if the beginning records something that the main characters least expect and if the beginning happens to make you sit up and start reading the story, then I think I can register some growth as a writer.
I can see it is not easy to be an interesting writer.
But then everyday is a beginning for someone like me who wants to write and who loves the written word.
A sad tale of woe and wandering by the hillside. I remember the fine poem of Keats, "La Belle Dame Sans Merci."
The wandering poet covers a mountain terrain which also has caves and secret places. A seeking poet for his lost poesy meanders through his soul searching for the lost muse, his lost voice. Symbolic imagery and vocabulary. Imagery indicates the desperate longing of the poet to reclaim his poetic talent without which he is lost.
"But I can’t find
My way back
And am soon lost"
Wonderful imagery and diction! It has been a while since I read a poem of this kind which reminds me of the classic vein of the Romantic Poets.
Hello there,
I am attracted by the devotional trend of the poem. The belief that God created this beautiful world and nature appeals to me.
All aspects of life created by God are praiseworthy. In my view, there isn't a single thing in nature which is ugly or evil.
You have taken two examples in which you see the Hand of God. You have described them well in this free style poem. Your images are crystal clear and the tone is worshipful.
It flows well with appealing word pictures.
It is your WDC Account Anniversary!
Congratulations! Have a wonderful day!
Thank you for the prompt. I think it works for what I have on my mind. A plot that has kidnapping gang for high bucks. They do have a large amount of money amassed over the last two years and they have no idea how much. They certainly needed an educated guy to go over the treasure chest.
Thank you for the soothing words, LegendaryMask.
I appreciate the way you interpret the ways of God. It is not easy to convince people to stop and listen to the voice from within our hearts. However, in times of trouble, when in need of someone to fall back upon, we do realize the value and importance of the Almighty.
I know He is always with us, waiting to be heard and follow His counsel. Only those who are patient enough can listen to Him and feel the joy of His presence.
Imagery brings His presence close to me and it requires a mind that is spiritually inclined.
It flows well.
It is your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations! Have a wonderful day!
This poem seems to have been written by a pilot.
"Just a traveller of the heavens."
It looks as though as he maneuvers the aircraft he is going through the motions he sounds excited about. It is an enticing activity if played safe. Galvanizing the plane through the clouds stepping above or below them is described in detail.
"Run, climb and jump,"
The Cinderella story is skillfully woven into this tale of a girl's love for herbs. The importance and vital need for herbs for the welfare of all is put in the front stage. story comes only after we are told of Tansy's absorption with the herbs.
The main point of Cinderella is mentioned only at the end. It seems a little abrupt though the connection is established well.
Another aspect that could be improved upon is dialog. Dialog mellows the story. It brings out the characters' emotions and thoughts.
Oh, what a wreak of revenge! Revenge, sure must have been sweet to the victim of twelve years before. He nurtures it and gets ready with his deadly devices to kill the villains. The question is-
Isn't death too much of a punishment? can't it be anything more moderate?
you made your reasons to kill "The wicked don't deserve a life;" Then this earth of ours is rid of all the evil and becomes a synonym for heaven.
I like the way you handled language and managed an appealing style. you used impressive words.
Your style too appeals. Your description is sensitive. "I feel like a swift leaping shadow obscured by the embrace of night's velvet curtain."
Meaning is clear and so is the form and structure of this poem.
Short, clipped lines are used to describe the dog. Dog becomes the main theme around which things revolve. Poet obviously loves the dog. Whatever it does appeals to her, she does't appreciate people shouting at the dog. I think she is justified. Human against animal is not a real match.
Grammar is not paid attention. Three word lines with noun, verb, noun or noun, verb preposition and noun are used. Some wh questions are posed. What are wh questions? They are why, where, how and so on.
Imagery is visual. It reflects the characters well. It shows their emotions too.
Well done if it is a small kid who wrote this poem.
Hello Legendary,
I like the way you depicted the character of Jamie. She looked like a real life character. Her emotions are true to life, like a young girl that she is. Her reaction to the douse of drink on her dress could not be more natural than what you have said.
"she was embarrassed by her redness against the white shirt she was wearing."
The only thing I wonder at was the reaction of the crowd to Jamie's condition. They were clapping and laughing much to her embarrassment.
The story ended well. Some consolation to Jamie and her sympathizers like me.
It was a moving article on self and your life. I congratulate you on being a brave girl, wife and mother, and a writer in that order. Sometimes, things happen without our fault. You have taken the right decisions at the right time. You have been wise and selective in your choices.
I am also impressed by the way you have done your time management. With just a brief spell, you continued with your writing. I understand why you call your writing, your breathing.
"Writing has been a part of my life since childhood. Today, it’s a habit, a passion, a part of my daily life."
This brief biography shows various angles in your personality. I am mostly taken by the urge you have and the passion you kept alive for writing.
"I found a writer’s site that I loved. When it closed, I found other writer’s sites."
Few would do that under the given circumstances. They would give it up and wait for destiny to take a turn in their favor. But you have consciously nurtured that passion and grew as a writer to the benefit of all of us.
I am sure the enchanting skies, the accompanying chirpy birds and most of all with God by your side, you will keep on writing contemplating both the mundane and metaphysical sides of life.
At the end of this story, my only thought was " I wish Kenzie continued talking of her adventure with writing and life in general."
It is an interesting tale of mystery. Your characters and plot are a draw. There are some important twists and turns to the story like the karate kick from Bella and the judge's appearance in the last scene.
You solved the mystery cleverly.
If Amber is the prize that the Arab wanted, why make her appear in a bikini and an umbrella? she can parade in her civil clothes and still can make an impression on the buyers.
You made an effective use of flesh trade that is happening in several countries.
Dialog is an important element of this story which covers the details to a large extent.
This true to life story shows a mother's concern for the welfare of her teenage daughter. Even with her utmost care and vigilance, she was not able to stop April from going astray. Does fate too play a role in the making of the character of a child? I wonder.
Environment and company play a capital role in the formative years of a daughter or a son. Only the very fortunate parents can supervise their movements and behavior closely. Otherwise,it is tough for a working mother or father to keep monitoring their children's schedule at school or at home.
Congratulations QueenOwl doing your best for your daughter. Mother's love never ends.
Crochet becomes a metaphor for love, his love and hers. Ordinary juxtaposing extraordinary. Ordinary being within limits and the other seems to have crossed sane borders to " tangled skeins".
Future seems promising with him deciding to repair the damage."To someday make you whole?"
This poem's language of love is powerful because it speaks in metaphors mixing a rather garbled past and an unexpected present.
Hi
That's a nice story. At once full of suspense and fright. The best part is the end. It was an open end. you made the reader wonder at the sight that the boy must have had. I think a sequel would satisfy the curious reader.
Narration-
You kept the fire of curiosity with the kind of descriptive details you provided.
"With every step, my heartbeat increased"
We can imagine the way young boys react to situations like this.
The connection between life and chocolates is yet to be established. We do not know anything about the other members of this "odd" family.
The poet's pen revolves around his immediate family.
He reminisces briefly of his parental home which was once his family. With the passage of time each person has his or her own family to look after and cherish. That is the way life is. The old gives way to the new.
"They accept me and they love me, too, despite my many flaws"
The poet admits his unconditional love for his children and says that he counts on them in times of need. Fending for family is one of the values that govern the family system.
Imagery shows the past and present with equal balance and grace. Truth is uttered without reserve.
Failure in love and disillusion at the way it turned monotonous and boring are well depicted in this poem of meaningful divisions.
The poet shows how once the love of his/her life seemed like a bright star which later faded into darkness and a dissolving dream.
While youth and prime lasted love glowed like a gem. With the passage time it dwindled and touched the rock bottom.
"I though you were so strong and brilliant, a raging inferno,"
edit-"though" into thought.
Imagery-
Imagery shows the past and present quite transparently.
Touch of cruelty in "Unfeeling,
I cast you out."
The negative side of love is mirrored.
Your experience at the first concert is interesting. Growing years are so full innocence and dreams. We think we can just about do everything and anything. The will and wish are too strong to listen to any wise counsel.
The plan to use Social Security card to live in England with the help John and Paul looks incredible.
"I just have to smile and remember the time when our plans were just a little too unreal."
At that age one feels one can move mountains given a spot of earth to stand upon.
Your description and detailed account of how the day started and ended and its memories at present are impressive.
My congratulations on your WDC Account Anniversary! Hope your creativity continues.
Write on!
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