"cold Virginia" comes alive in the above descriptive prose. The winter night and the full moon make a potent combination of nature to inspire awe and wonder in the onlooker.
Animals doze by the log fire, but man's mind is alert and awake at that hour of winter silence.
Prose is well written, description ignites interest in the reader, albeit another winter night.
"The Wolf Moon lighting up the Maury its banks now white with ice, returning the full moon’s glare,.."
Cold apart, the spectacle of a river laced with ice, which spreads with the advancing winter and a moon shining above is alluring, like a desert with rolling white sands.
I am here to review for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations and have a wonderful day.
You have explored the delights of a summer day. Summer, as I understand from your poem is a valuable season because it grants you the freedom to be outdoors from dawn to dusk.
The activities you have mentioned are attractive and worth going after. I can see your love for summer is endless.
"Simple truths of a faithful friend,
you come but once a year."
Imagery appeals to senses, especially, eye and the mind. I can see you going places and enjoying yourself.
I am here to review for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations on completing one more year of association with the WDC.
This is an entertaining poem no doubt. Yet, I can feel the tension you must have undergone when you found that you lost the keys. You have shown your anxiety in well chosen words that paint the picture of you searching frantically for the lost keys. I appreciate the way you have brought in the necessary imagery.
" I searched all the rows and I started to panic,
couldn't find my keys and got quite frantic."
Rhyming poem has fetching line endings that bring forth the mind and mood of the owner of the keys.
This review is for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations on completing one more year of association with the WDC.
This spring poem is truly delightful and its tribute to nature is inspiring. I feel when nature awakes, man too awakes. He/she is filled with a renewed enthusiasm to live better.
The above poem excels in painting a portrait of spring, the most loved season of all. Mankind wakes up from winter discomfort and dormant senses.
It is a charming season with pictures of newfound activity in nature.
" Bouncing bluebells
greet a symphony of bumblebees,"
I feel as though I am listening to two voices, one is that of butterfly and the other a human. Butterflies are free rambling things. They need not plead with anyone for their liberty. So I conclude that it must be a small girl or a boy made to work in a household.
The pleading voice is moving enough. Hiding in or behind the flower bush, the person begs for freedom from duties, which may be unfairly levied on him/her.
The cinquain is structured on the prescribed syllable count. Word choices and length are thoughtfully done.
Very fetching analysis of souls combined. This happens only with those who love one another sincerely and for all times, good or bad. They are ready to sacrifice anything of their own. Everything is shared. Their hearts beat in unison and people recognize their quality of inseparability. They are well compared to sugar and water, two separate bodies but they lose their identity in merging. No ego, no pride.
My favorite lines:
"They always find a way to tangle again.
longing for one another."
Imagery appeals to eye and mind.
The picture of perfect harmony well versified.
A beautiful love song.
It has visual and aural imagery and touching word choices.
It makes a melodic song with a gentle guitar playing the chords.
The lyric is a tribute to Toressa with whom the writer is forever in love. His expression of love is vocal and delicate. The song brings the picture of Toressa to the reader's mind.
"I close my eyes and hear your sighs
As whispers from the leaves"
Expression is natural and spontaneous.
Imagery shows aspects the lover and the beloved very clearly.
a lovely story. Family is such a great entity. A person is truly blessed if he has a family of his own with mom, dad and siblings.
This story tells me how much the father and son miss each other ever since they separated. The reason for the son to move away is not clear. It could just be that grown up kids move away to have more freedom and make their own lives as they wish.
The party, the atmosphere is shown well. It looked pretty natural for the father to come and sit among the youngsters listening to their songs and chatter. In a way he partied with them. I also notice that the son has no problem having his dad with him and his friends. He is neither embarrassed nor shown any dislike. I like his character very much.
It is a nice story with suitable dialog and setting.
The tough task of shifting from one panorama to another is not a joke. It takes a lot of time to consider and ponder the things that matter. Finding a footing in another place is both an adventure and thing of apprehension. yet, one should move on if moving is what matters.
I like this poem for its structure that reflects the poet's hesitation and doubt in the decision he/she made.
Long and short lines that show the mood and matter.
"Empty, and unknown,
it calls to me."
Seeking help is shown in a telling image too. We all need it in times of need.
Touching story. Although children are involved, it is an issue about the adult world. The differences in caste and color still affect the races and it thus became a racial issue. Shame on the civilized world.
In the beginning there was equality and man had no barriers of separation.
This story also shows us the innocence of children who are untouched by the differences that separate mane from man. It highlights the reasons why we fight with each other even today.
It is telling tale. I like the way the author focuses on the main point through what appears like a children's story.
Hello Lilly
You could be right. With needful sleep things come into perspective. I have had those days.
Reflections on self and others are well voiced. You have self-examined and found it could be just misunderstanding or making too much of what you went through.
"What if I’m overreacting, and just need to calm down, maybe get more sleep."
You are right.
"But what if I really am imagining things the way you would say to me if you read this?"
We need to be in good health to judge anything.
I like this ponder because you have doubted others yet you have the courage to admit you could be wrong.
I don't know if it is fantasy, but it certainly strikes me as utter, helpless romantic passion. Just the phone message in the form of a poem is enough to light gentle desire that slowly builds itself into engulfing, consuming fire.
Free style poem that records the poet's ultimate imagination and makes his love materialize in his heart and mind.
Heartbeat! why don't you slow down, a long lost lyric comes to my mind.
Imagery is fine and so is the choice words and the beat that seems to represent the the very heartbeat of the poet.
I would like to think that I don't have any enemies. Yet in life's journey, you come across those who unnecessarily interfere and say some harsh words where harshness was not called upon. This makes me build hostility and I don't feel like talking to him or her. My mind becomes agitated whenever we need to cross paths.
Perhaps it is my hurt ego or just prejudice to some. It is difficult to treat a hurt self. This makes me think that may I am far too indulging in self pity and that makes me hate the other all the more.
This essay helps in countering these internal demons and free myself from their grip. I need to build my mental strength and confidence that no amount of hatred from others is going to hurt me.
I like the way this essay is organized and ideas well developed.
A wonderful write up on how to make our lives happy and meaningful. Happiness is not grieving but to come out do something that relieves you from the shackles of sorrow and sometimes self inflicted loneliness.
Edit-
" Moat people search their entire lives or..."
( Most people search their entire lives or...)
It is difficult to face loss of dear ones. This article tells me how best we can counter that and continue to do something to make a mark in life.
The drama was there, heartbreakingly so. So what should they do. Long years of marriage, days of sunshine and smiles- should all that end? I think the twisted tales demanded this tragedy.
I can see how dreams get shattered before one's eyes. What is it that she has and he doesn't? Why is he unemployed? Whatever it might be, they certainly stand at the cross roads. You have left the end open. I can guess the end the way I like.
The story is well narrated and action is meaningful.
Hi Chris,
This tribute to the fifties is well voiced.
Apart from everything, I am truly surprised by the fact that "Doors were never locked back then". It is so wonderful to imagine the carefree life of those days.
Also, everyone helping the others is something special.
This poem is well structured with three stanzas talking of life and times.
Rhyme scheme and line endings are a delight to read and the rhythm helps me to read it aloud.
Well, it is an engaging write up on personal life and hard experiences of the past. It also tells me that with a little love and care a person's life can change magically.
God's love is most enveloping and it can grant you anything you need.
The prose and cons are listed in a way that the reader feels drawn by the alarming changes that life has brought to you.
"So here I am full circle one year later with money, (you don't realize what it's like to not have it until it's totally gone) a new vehicle and a home to call my own. And quite a lot in-between!"
How these changes took place is not clear. But the fact remains that your life is now full of joy and devotion to God.
Language and style appeal to me.
It is a great way of treating your mother on Mother's Day. I agree that mothers need to be given special treatment. And what better way than the one you have come across luckily.
" Yes I won a luxury chocolate spa treatment for mum."
I find this small piece of writing with retrospection and determination to make the day special for your mum.
"Therefore to make up for that disastrous mistake I vowed that this Mother's Day would be special."
Language is fine and so is the way you have organized the material.
Wonderful poem on deforestation. We see it everywhere all over the world. It is a major problem in my country (India) as well.
Everyday I see the apartment complexes coming up,scaling the sky. City crowd increases,more and more villages are deserted.Farmers cry blood tears because their lands are taken away to build more concrete jungles.
The rich become more rich and the poor, poorer. Ultimately, they blame it on karma.
This poem is a great take on the danger we cause to the fauna and flora by deforestation. Just think of all those animals, which suffer from homelessness and make their way to human habitats.
"but their existence is now on the brink."
We cannot blame them for killing and rampaging the villages.
"Without the trees, heat is lost to the sky;
life needs the heat to remain in the pink."
As you have said today the world is choking with pollution, one main reason being the removal of the tree cover and thus cause lung diseases to increase all over the world.
A perfect Villanelle on deforestation. It flows well.
Language and style are the first features that attracted me and kept to reading the story. You have planned your writing very well. What I mean is that which incident to come first and how the others should follow up and so on.
Theme appears interesting. The friendship between a servant boy and the daughter of a snob set of parents who are rich with strong political connections should make an interesting read.
You are bringing in the necessary tension and curiosity regarding how the story should make progress with the plot.
Dialog is good with the accompanying tags and emotions shown well.
Quite dramatic and sudden. The event described in the story has the reader wondering what happened to Sarah. The librarian is either a magician or a witch, one of those fantasy characters I guess.
"She skittered off to another aisle and came back with a book that looked massive in her small hands."
One starts to doubt her and wondering at her.
Sara's curiosity did not stretch to the last librarian. She seems to have completely forgotten about Mrs. Hawkins.
In these days of fantasy fiction anything can turn into the fantastic and still makes you feel interested.
The way events are reported is what matters in this story. Not many feelings are shown. But the author's pace at showing exactly how and where and what took place seem to attract the attention of the reader. The scenes changed and so do the characters.The writer used dialog and description quite appropriately.
The shoplifter seems to live on very little. Yet why did she slip the blue spider into the clothes of another person? what would she gain? I can't see the connection.
Edit-
"Mom said What I was doing after school"
(Mom asked what I was doing after school)
A vocal poem on love falling apart. The initial ardor and passion that bloomed and blossomed like those roses in the garden start waning and withering away. Roses bloom and wilt. But love blooms all the time. A forever feeling and emotion that increases and mellows with the passing of time.
But the metaphor speaks of disillusion and decrease in the emotion.
"the thorns will begin to cut deeper
and red will become my least favourite colour"
The last line is significant too.
The present changed from what it was.
"it used to be my favourite"
Well written free style poem with visual and color imagery used to advantage.
A spontaneous poem with a fine flow.
Write on!
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