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1276
1276
Review by jaya Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi,
I am reviewing this poem for your up coming WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations on the completion of one more year with the WDC.

This is a mesmerizing poem on Chess. The game itself is captivating and highly engaging. You have described the way to move the various pieces of chess towards the conquest of the opponent.

"The knights weren’t forgotten the night of the spell,
forsaken though, quite . . . they were all cursed to “ell”!"

The knights and the rook, bishops and the pawns have their weak points and were shown to have come under the strong spell of the one of the queens. In this game of fantasy, both queens seem to be equally ambitious.

And so to the end we draw.

In this fantasy game I see (I hope I am right) both the queens challenge each other and finally we are left with total destruction.

"And, because such force the queens had amassed,
Both kingdoms, their world, spun slowly to glass."

Rhyming and rhythm bespeak of war and its end of winning.

It flows well.

Write on!
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1277
1277
Review by jaya Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Wolfwalker,

This review is for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations on completing another memorable year of creativity at the WDC.
Have a wonderful anniversary!

This piece of writing is realistic and so very inspiring. People may part but the memories stay forever.

Maureen is such a sweet character. She is human enough to feel depressed for not having Mason by her side for this Christmas, but she is also courageous to go ahead and celebrate it as a sign of love and respect for her husband. The hand-made piece made her go back to that part of her life, which she recalls with a big smile and love in her heart.

"With spirits renewed, Maureen lifted Garfield, with his fat orange belly and obstinate black stripes, and set him carefully onto the green hand-lettered blocks that said…BAH HUMBUG."

The end is well rounded. Language and style are smooth and fluent.

Write on!
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1278
1278
Review of My Mother's Poems  Open in new Window.
for entry "Seasons in OklahomaOpen in new Window.
Review by jaya Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Snow,

I am reviewing this poem for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congrats and Have a wonderful day!

This is a delightful poem of changing seasons in Oklahoma.

Each season is dealt with in a very spontaneous manner. The poet's reaction to each season very human and natural.
Each season is given a brief introduction, description and the effect of it on the poet.
So you know exactly what that particular season looks like and feels like.

"Spring toes right into summer,
with hot winds and thunderstorms,"

I like the prepositional verb "toes--into." Interesting usage. The stormy weather is arresting and attractive.
"Then the sky darkens,
the thunders roars,
lightning flashes,
the wind blows,
the farmer stops his machines,'

Free style poem flows well with visual imagery and sensory descriptions.

Write on!
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1279
1279
Review of AUTUMN (1)  Open in new Window.
Review by jaya Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Maria

It is a beautiful poem describing the picturesque season of autumn. Mother nature makes us so aware of these changes of season that take place in a very silent and smooth fashion.

You have described the effect and result of the soothing autumn that precedes winter. All the more reason for people to make the best of it. Autumn dawns are cool and magical, the twilight time is so glorious and colorful. The whole day is inspiring enough and keeps us pleasant and healthy.

Imagery is sensory and therefore captivating.

It flows well.

Write on!
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1280
1280
Review of Whew!  Open in new Window.
Review by jaya Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Thea,

I am reviewing this short verse for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations on completing one more year of creativity at the WDC. Have a lovely day!

The poem is telling. It shows how exhausted you were with "his lies". You showed it all in a very brief yet expressive voice.

The outward expression was just a tired exhaling of breath. Not a word of anger or exasperation. Kudos to your self control. Not all can boast of it. Not me anyway.

"But didn't say it; only thought it."

There was an innocent question too.

The title coves up the real feeling.

Appealing verse.

It flows well.

Write on!
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1281
1281
Review of Where Did I Go?  Open in new Window.
Review by jaya Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Cubby,
It is a pleasure to review for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations on completing one more year of fulfilling creativity at the WDC. Have wonderful day!

This poem mirrors truth about aging. However much one tries to stick to her or his former young looks, time is such a tyrant that all those romantic ideas are dealt with, with one look at the mirror.
I feel that it is so much more peaceful to accept the truth about self.

In the poem it is the grand daughter that makes the old lady realize that there is no alternative to understanding the passing of youth and middle years as well.
Just one sentence brought on that understanding. Great job!

""But that was before me.""

she is so frank and spontaneously truthful.

Is it that rare link between the grand parents and the grand children?

It flows well. So poetic yet so down-to-earth.

Write on!
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1282
1282
Review by jaya Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
A nice inspiring poem. It tells me to shine like the stars, the little stars that fill the sky spreading luminescence.

This Free style poem inspires us to shed fear, which screens our true self. Fear has a long shadow on life. If I come out of the shadow, all I am left with is light, eye-filling light.

"light up the night sky with the beauty of your personality"

The metaphor of stars works well. If all the people shed their fear, inhibition, this earth would be a place full of earthy stars with bright inner happiness.

Thank you for the nice poem that flows well with telling imagery.

Write on!
Glorious and Joyful
1283
1283
Review of He Sits  Open in new Window.
Review by jaya Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Turtle,

this review is for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations on completing another year with the WDC. Have a fulfilling day!

This particular character study is strangely moving. Some parts made tears well up in my eyes. Why can't people leave him be.
When I read of the man pouring soda on him, I was deeply moved to tears. Is that the way to test his consciousness? yet, I do believe some have such boorish ways.

As you have done, he makes us think of who he is and why he comes there just to sit and stare. There must be something that made him come to the same spot everyday and at the same hour.

Truly thought provoking.

Write on!
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1284
1284
Review by jaya Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
A glorious tribute to someone who is dear to the poet.

All the virtues of the departed soul are highlighted and makes the reader imagine how good a soul she was.

Using the figures of speech enhanced the effect what the poet wants to talk about.
"No matter how threatening was the breaking of the bough"

Her physical beauty and mental resilience have been praised agreeably.
"Your strong guidance still experienced
Your legacy will never be forgotten...."

The whole poem gives an impression that lady who is no more, was friendly, pleasant, helpful and courageous.

No wonder you miss her so much.

A moving free style poem with effective use of words and line endings.

Write on!
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1285
1285
Review by jaya Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
September brings memories flooding into the mind as you go through the heat and the coolness of the sea in September.

"A sunny month, with each and every ray
of solar giving lapped up by us peeps,"

Human mind is such wonderful recording machine, that nothing escapes it and it never forgets. You have recalled events and the weather and the varied experiences served by life.

Comparisons and metaphors excel as in
"like time dressed in his Sunday
best,.."

Prompt well explored.

Ordinary events attain a new glamour as you dress them with your imagery and flow.

Write on!
The colorful glory of sunrise.
1286
1286
Review of Home  Open in new Window.
Review by jaya Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Small things of shared love and memories attain more value than that which meets the eye like,
"an address,
a street, a town,
a house number
or a car on the drive..."

You have shown what a home means to you in appealing imagery and more appealing thoughts.
The symbols of love that you use are novel and unique.
" two toothbrushes, side by side
in that mug
from Ireland, remember,.." one thought giving way to another, yet it is all inter-linked, like an extended simile or metaphor.

This is the kind of poetry that remains with me for future reference.

It flows fluently well.

Write on!
The colorful glory of sunrise.
1287
1287
Review of Courage  Open in new Window.
Review by jaya Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Lindsay,

I am here to review for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations on completing one more year with the WDC.

This short verse highlights the aspects of courage. You have combined courage with other virtues like faith, hope, dauntlessness and humility. This is the appealing feature of this free-style poem.

It mirrors the image of a person, who possesses these qualities.

The poem has a rhythmic movement that make it flow well.


Write on!

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1288
1288
Review by jaya Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Robert,

this review is for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations on completing another year of association with the WDC. Have a creative day!

I like the happy ending. I can't imagine a teenage life coming to a tragic end after the accident. This story highlights the consequences of drunken driving and late night parties. The author drives home to the parents the point that they too are responsible for not being strict with their off-spring with regard to maintaining a disciplined life style.

Setting is awesome. Jerry's state of being a coma patient is shown diagrammatically, the tubes and the atmosphere.

Language and style appeal to me.

An engaging short.

Write on!
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1289
1289
Review by jaya Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
This three liner is appealing because it has lofty thoughts about love and bond. you talked about life's bond and the spiritual links between the souls. Obviously, the bond between the souls is of far reaching impact.
"as we embrace our souls for an eternity."

Imagery shows the two people in deep love with each other. Their love crosses the boundaries of the material plane into the spiritual aspect of love.

Fine work.
It flows well.

Write on!
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1290
1290
Review of Yes, you.  Open in new Window.
Review by jaya Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Holden,
this review is for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations and have a wonderful day!


A love poem with a difference. The poet speaks of the kind of sacrifices necessary to keep his lady love happy and safe. It is not your usual waxing poem that describes the beauty of the girl but rather goes deep into issues that threaten her security.

"Why must i pay for the faults of others?
T’was not i who hurt You my love…"

The assurance and promise to keep his love forever are done in a simple yet effective verse.

Imagery shows the reluctant woman and the pleading lover quite clearly.

Free style poem flows well.

Write on!
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1291
1291
Review of What if  Open in new Window.
Review by jaya Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Anxiety and grief took their toll, it looks like.
Worrying about the mother, the children can be pretty stressful.
I do that most of the time. But I notice that if I worry about non-existent health hazards, it would rob me of my present duties and put a spoke to my smooth routine.

"A shudder went down my spine that made me shiver. What if… beyond imagination."

Emotions and the mental set-up of the narrator persona are clearly shown in descriptive passages.
Imagination can play havoc on our mental peace and health as well in the long run.

Contemplative story that shows what it could have been if the danger was not diverted.

I enjoyed the language and style.

Write on!
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1292
1292
Review of Starting Over  Open in new Window.
Review by jaya Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
This story shows how much of patience and endless ability to continue changing and correcting and editing one's own writing.

Like it is shown, we miss so much of our valuable work in our anxiety to get noticed or our ambition to become famous. Hard work is something that should continue, come what may.

The meeting with the editor is an important part of the story. That is where we were shown what was missing in the story. Too much editing works against our own creativity.

This story tells me that writing under pressure is not correct.

It reads well.

Write on!
kids at play

1293
1293
Review by jaya Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Lovely poem on the birth of twins, the girls.

To give birth to twins is a mother's ability and credit. Imagine carrying them for nine months and not knowing about it till their birth.

The expectant mother's way to hospital to be taken care of by the nurses, and events that followed are done excellently with the help of a perfect rhyme scheme and rhythmic meter.

Imagery mirrors the visual things as well as the mother's labor.

It flows well.

Write on!
Glorious and Joyful
1294
1294
Review by jaya Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Ann

I am reviewing this short but powerful poem for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations on completing one more year of association with the WDC. Have a memorable day!

This free style composition begins with a metaphor, which is novel and appealing. When I pause think,comparing life with a toothpaste is so appropriate. Indeed, when surrounded by challenging odds, it feels as if life is a "squeeze".
Surviving the odds is put in a positive line, "Holding onto life will release me,"

The last line contains a valuable observation, "Nothing ever seems to come easy."

As you indicated, we need to work for success.

Thank you for sharing a lovely poem.

It flows well.

Write on!
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1295
1295
Review of Summer Storm  Open in new Window.
Review by jaya Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello TJ,

I am here to review for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations on completing one more year of creative association with the WDC. Have a fulfilling day!

This poem has appealing imagery mainly because you have written on what you have seen. That makes a difference. Ask me why?
Like the painter that paints from his view, so is the poet who creates from his observations. Such writing has spontaneity and a naturalness. Hence it appeals.
You have done a great job in describing step by step the advancing storm with the gathering of dark clouds.

"As dark clouds race above me;
There’s a cold front moving in."

As minutes pass, the clouds move in with a wind speed beyond expectation. Soon the person under the tree is seen running for shelter.

"I hasten to the house for shelter
As dust and debris goes flying by."

Nothing like watching rain from the safe enclosure.

Rhyming poem flows well to the beat of falling rain.

Write on!
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1296
1296
Review of What Used To Be  Open in new Window.
Review by jaya Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Well-written poem of the sweet memories of the past, when love was shining like a "never ending light".
Beautiful imagery and use of figures throughout the poem.

The place and the feeling are high lighted.
Inversion is used to make the effect more anticipatory.
" Deep beneath what use to be lies a place that once held you and me."
The mystery surrounding the "Deep beneath" makes me look for what happened next.

The way the poet admits to being cheated is stated in a line with positive expectations.

" wish once more that light would shine, for I had it all when you were mine."

It flows extremely well.

Write on!
Glorious and Joyful
1297
1297
Review of Nightly Routine  Open in new Window.
Review by jaya Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hello Susannah

I am reviewing this short story for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations and have a wonderful Anniversary.

This story mirrors the travails of a mom with four children and another en route. She is seen doing everything herself. Where on earth is the husband?

The story nicely narrated the natural behavior of young children, who still need their mom for every single thing.
"“Mom! I need a fork.”"

There is a humorous angle along side the irritable issues.

"he's of the mindset that “Dad gets the lion's share.”"

Most of the time, the wife has to fend for herself.

Setting and mood are quite transparent.

A kind of sad-funny story. (No offence meant).

Write on!
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1298
1298
Review of The Veil  Open in new Window.
Review by jaya Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello SWPoet,

I am reviewing this poem for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations and have a wonderfully creative day.

This poem written in free style talks about the way to find God, Who dwells in our own self.


Lines that impressed me are,
" the way to our soul
and to God, is not through the mind,
but through our senses.."

They sound so true. We listen to His voice, see Him with our inner vision and feel Him though our hearts and souls.
Music has the power to lower the "veil" between the self and ultimate Self.

Through the images such as "old growth trees holding the roof
in an arrow to heaven, or maybe
it was the morning sunlight flickering
through stained glass windows," the poet is able to show the unmanifested presence of divinity amidst us. Lower the veil and we can see it.

Amazing poem that flows well.

Write on!
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1299
1299
Review of Everything  Open in new Window.
Review by jaya Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Quite entertaining and at the same time teaching the fact that knowledge is anyone's property. You earn it yourself by being humble and ready to learn.

Both the characters are shown enacting their roles in an appealing manner. If Mary paused to think she might have learnt the fact that not all the questions posed by the old owl have answers.

"How many ocean waves crash on the beach?"

It is not for nothing that the owls are supposed to be wise.

Story-poem is well constructed with dialog and visual imagery.

It flows well.

Write on!
kids at play
1300
1300
Review by jaya Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Time-tested truths are stated in a novel way. Each tercet has its own wise observation of life's lessons.

I expect any sensitive soul would experience the fact of the lines,

"The soul talks
In quiet
Whispers"

All we need to do it to pay attention to what it says. It cannot go wrong.

Guide lines are well embedded with simple words.

Metaphors such "Holy Grail" are found effective.

Every stanza shows the power of human being, the enormous chances to become better and better with the passage of time.

Imagery and imagination go hand in hand.

It flows well.

Write on!
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