Pretty story. Blyanna seems partial to tall dark men with battle scars. The couple reminds me of Othello, the warrior and Desdemona, the princess. The man with gruff tone appears to have logical mind. It is rather clever of him to remind the her, the heir to the throne of firelands of Forzenlands. How appropriate!
It might evolve into a great adventure cum love story.
Paid the greedy guys very aptly.
But what about human touch?
And why didn't he do anything about teaching them a lesson while he was alive and active. He might have found a way to do so being rich and resourceful.
The rocket idea is novel and interesting. However, there are so many have-nots for whom the valuables he carried into the galaxy might have been useful.
The story is pretty awesome because events have happened nonstop and make interesting read.
I could see that the author is trying to sketch the portrait of greed via the siblings and the mother. Money can do utmost damage to sentiments and family values. We get the message.
Can human beings be so devoid of sense of belonging? A bit out of the normal life.
Dialog, setting and characters are drawn with precision.
The story of Jesus told in a nutshell. It appeals because it packs all the important incidents of the supreme sacrifice made by the Son of God for the sake of sinning humanity.
Who is not moved by the story of betrayal by Judas and the Lord's ultimate death on the cross.
"Christ was sent from Him to die."
"All who believe, shall enter through His door."
The psalm shows that belief in Him is the way to salvation. Enter through His narrow door.
Imagery is effective and impressive.
"Darkness sweeps the weeping sky,"
Mary's sorrow is unsurpassed. Losing a son for no fault brings unending tears to men and angels no wonder.
I think the moment we realize that a smile takes little effort and that it can change our mood in the flicker of an eyelid from sad to happy, we cannot stop smiling. As a result whoever practices facing life with a smile is always happy.
Further, these happy guys do not carry unnecessary load like feeling sad, depressed or worried at small things on their brains. It keeps them light and free.
This free style poem asks some sensitive but realistic questions on being happy.
Imagery draws the picture of happy people.
It flows well.
A different kind of mystery cum horror story.
It is not easy to put the pieces in place in this jigsaw. I conclude he has been suffering from mental derangement of some kind. But where is this sinister laugh coming from? It is either the devil or the dead man's soul. Definitely a puzzle for the paramedics. Perhaps Jerry killed his former wife, Michelle and started burning in his own guilt, which might have finally led him to commit suicide.
If a country is to be grateful for their peaceful existence, the first people they should thank are the defense personnel. Without them nothing works well within or outside a nation.
In India, where I come from, every day is a trial day for the soldiers of the Border Security Force. Some unexpected danger ambushes then on a daily basis. Long ago we might have succumbed to this unseen enemy but for the tireless soldiers who guard our territory. God bless them all.
I am sure each country has its own reasons to be grateful for the armed forces.
This free style poem records realistically what generally happens on the battle field. Imagery used here brings the drastic and dangerous scene to our eye and ear.
The sea has a lasting effect on our lives. Yes, going to places of nature can sooth your pain and rejuvenate our minds. sorrow is drowned in the massive waves and the the distant horizon beckons us back to live our lives normally. Nature is normal unless being meddled with.
The three stanzas record the poet's impression on how the sea affected her. The sea offers her helping hand to cure the ills if one seeks her blessings.
"The crashing waves drown out my fury,
Reduce me to a child."
Perspective changes and so do our mood and mindset.
Imagery brings the rushing sea and its blue translucence to our mind's eye.
Great linguistic experiment. Word choices are just awesome.
sound D has captured my fancy and I just wonder at the vast vocabulary and the contextual content you have displayed here.
"Dark, driving rain, distant thunder
droplets of darkness, devil's plunder."
I learn from the way you have used the noun "decanter" deriving a verb from it, "decanting".
" decanting in sorrow." submerged in sorrow.
The whole poem is crisscrossed with discretely used adjectives and verbal nouns.
"driving rain, distant thunder"
It is a rare reading experience for me to have come across an amazing verse like the one above.
This story appeals because it has portrayed how guilt can destroy a person slowly but surely.
Mackenzie is lucky because she realized that it is possible to come out of the guilt feeling by confessing her mistake.
The fact that she hasn't consciously killed her sister softens the reader and takes away the bitter feeling towards Mackenzie.
The introduction of a therapist is a good move, for it helps Mackenzie further and encourages her to share her secret with her family members.
It reads well with characters who seem to be pretty realistic.
I agree with most of the things you have stated. However, different kinds of writing require different styles. A poem, a story and an essay have different features. Of course, redundancy must be avoided to make the item appealing to all. You can't have everything in a cut and dry style.
A thorough knowledge of the mechanics of writing is the first requirement for a writer.There are exceptions to grammatical rules. However, conscious crossing of the rules such as with regard to punctuation too has fetched Prizes to some authors.
Imagination cannot follow a set method. It meanders, which results in some of the best poems we read.
Too many rules and restrictions might hinder the writing process of an author.
Writer's love for transport is well brought out. Having one's own vessel always helps and give freedom to move at will.
"Sitting in the car on a lunar eclipse,"
Memories and associated people are talked about.
A person's love for his or her car, truck or pick-up is irrefutable. He loves it as though it is a part of his life and without which he or she cannot survive.
Understandable.
Prose is free of errors and lets me read smoothly.
Mother's supremacy is shown through a simple story. Her struggle and faith in her self go hand in hand. only a mother can be both tender and strong in respective contexts.
A mother's portrait is depicted well with the help of telling imagery. she is ever so loving and giving not keeping anything back.
"Her love is always faithful
Her arms are open wide"
I perfectly understand the trauma you suffer from due to the ill treatment meted out to you by your father.
I had suffered a similar condition but not as much as you did. My sympathy and compassion go out to you.
you have well traced the conditions under which this happened and how deep was the impact of the event. For no real reason you became the victim of a death in the family.
It is difficult to get away from the ill effects of a trauma. Yet you regained self confidence and a belief in the goodness of your father. That should make you to walk tall with the trauma buried forever.
Your prose style is good and the structure of the write-up appeals to me.
Wonderful beginnings!
I like all examples. The first one with a vampire reference is even more arresting. I understand the importance of a hook in the first line. I try to do my level best in my own writing.
Your position at the side of Sherlock Holmes is also equally drawing the attention.
""It was early one morning in the Spring of 1895, and Sherlock Holmes and I were, as usual, running for our lives."
Inspiring and path showing notes on the beginnings.
Imagery is telling. Poet makes brilliant use of Easter.
"..blooms among the tombs"
The spring along with blooms welcomes the rising of Jesus, indicating a new beginning. His advent signifies passing from death to immortality from darkness to light. Tremendous hope to humanity that "God's in Hiis Heaven
All's well with the world."
A philosophic story of the journey of life. The point of view is that of a chicken and its journey through the crowd is well described.
The writer has well expressed her thoughts on the beginning and end of journey on the road. Symbolically, it represents our life and its end. Every life has its own pick of the road and the chosen end of it.
It is entertaining and thought provoking to learn the many observations from the walker of the path. It brings out the courage and coolness of the mind behind the one that takes up the journey.
Finally, it is truly interesting to find out who the so journer has been, giving the reader more food for thought.
Prose style and construction of the essay are done well.
The poet's sadness at the way in which life goes on pervades the poem. Pain comes through as well as helplessness to stop it.
"Why are they torturing her"
Yes, it can be a cruel and cold world in times of trials.
Imagery-
The scene in a mall is brought to focus. If a heart is hurt, the world appears dark and depressed.
" Each manikin wears a mask of pain"
Mood and mindset can bring out the best in a poet. Pain can make the expression powerful and impressive.
Title-
The title, "Whirling" brings out the mental state of the poet. Everything in life becomes blurred and befuddled. It is a kind of a state of shock.
Hello Bikerider
The value and importance of pen and paper are well brought out in this story.
Personification-
Personifying pen and paper as your friends is an impressive idea. They, like true companions are by your side constantly inspiring your writing talent.
"My friends help me to learn...."
Your writing flows well. It makes easy reading.
Have a wonderful Wdc Account Anniversary.
A sincere confession of love and need for the loved one. Lyrics are romantic and they show the intensity with which the lover wants his sweetheart.
Imagery is visual and the romantic air pervades the whole song.
The refrain emphasizes the fact of togetherness and that life is for sharing the highs and lows of life.
A very nice and inspiring poem on beauty. Real beauty lies inside, the one we see on the surface is superficial, lasting for a short time.
The poet voices what beauty really is.
"Beauty is never given it is what your born with"
Every one is born beautiful. It is our own ego and attachment that change the original sweetness and light.
Imagery-
Images of rose and pure innocence of a human being are juxtaposed and shown the similarities. we can visualize both and see the point made by the poet so emphatically.
"You are perfect like a rose"
Beauty in its original form appeals more than the one covered in make-up no doubt.
The bottom line-
"Don't let the world change you
You change the world"
Hi Bill
Your rhyming poem appeals to me because I am one of those people who find paradise in their homes.
"This quiet haven frees the soul,"
The saying "Home sweet home" matches my own inclination to be a home bird.
You have versified a number of interesting facets of home that keep you away from outside diversions.
"There competition is the key,
While here brews simple harmony,"
Whatever be the criticism leveled against those who spend more time at home, there is no denying the fact that the peace, harmony and happiness found in one's home are incomparable.
Impressive story.
Narration, chracters and action are winning points.
Kate’s character is absolutely credible. It is heartening to know of her blindness. Yet, the heart that beats in her is that of a mother. Her anxiety for the child’s safety is well depicted.
It reads well.
Indeed life is an enigma and death, a puzzle. At some point this kind of contemplation hits us all.
The poet structures his thoughts in this free style poem quite well.
Life cannot be one glorious dance either.
The title-
Very appropriate.
Life is a journey from birth to death with many highs and lows.
Imagery-
The picture of life's pleasure and pain flashes before my mind's eye.
It flows well.
Write on!
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