Hello Thelyrical, I have just read your poem, "Way Too Much Power."
A poem of anger at Authorities, Children's Services.
While I would agree with the poem to a certain extent, in some ways they have not used their Authority enough. A lot of Children have suffered and still suffering through neglect from the services.
Suggestions, In line, "Bo room for human error, no room for mistake." Did you mean "No room" a opposed to "Bo room?"
Hello Deepnthought,welcome to WDC. I have just read your poem, "What to do."
I see you are asking for help with the Title. A the poem is clearly about someone who does not know your feelings for them, then perhaps a Title such as "Secret Love." Might fit.?
Hello Mravice and welcome to WDC. I have just read your poem, "First Kiss."
So cute and innocent when children have their first kiss.
I was sure of the line "Balls over my head, blood on my knees." I understand she/he probably fell and scraped a knee, but I did not understand the balls thing lol.
Hello Jessica, I have just read your poem, "Discovery."
I like short poems, for me they say much more than long drawn out ones. I usually do not like non rhyming poetry, but this has a message. The poet is about to start the long climb back up the ladder and find herself again.
Hello acceptthemystery, I have just read yout story. "My Mother, The Antique."
I must admit I found it a little strange to begin with, but then on reading could see the humour in it. On reading even more I see the very important and lovely message in it, your Mother's worth.
Hello Minja, I have just read your poem, "Santa Darling," I like this little poem and I do not think you should make it your last poem as you suggest in your description. Poetry is an excellent way of expressing our feelings.
I like the last two lines, using the word Presents and presence.
Hello eve, I have just read your poem, " Why Make A Promise."
I think It is hard to accept when someone makes a promise, such as an engagement, and then realises it is not for them. As you express in your poem, we then wonder if they will do the same thing to someone else.
Suggestion: In the line, "You ended it like we never meant nothing to you," Actually means we meant something, if we never meant nothing.
Best wishes.
Sanita
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