This is a very sweet piece. However, short. I expected more about your life. I guess when you're a teenager you haven't lived enough yet to have a long life. This was a very good read. I'm glad to know that you're in love. I hope it worked out for you. Hope all the best for you. Beeline!
This is a great piece. You have done well. It is super that you were once in the shape you were in and now you are someone to be proud of who you are Thiis was an enjoyable read. I liked the way y ou spaced things apart so that it made it easier to read. You did a good job. All the best. .
I do not believe any instrument could lie. As a musician and song writer, this is really out of touch. Perhaps, that was your intention It was a veryinteresting poem. You said so very much in so few words. It was a good read. I would recommend it to anyone. Please keep writing. You're good at it. All the best, Beeline!.
I generallly do not like religious poems, etc. It isn't I don'tt believe in God. I believe God takes His time. All that is all He has is time. I too have prayed to God to change something in my life. But in return, I would give Him my life. This was an excellent read. For someone that is not religious I found it very interesting. i'm happy that you have found solace in God. All the best, Beeline!
This is a very good poem. It reminded me of the movie "Saving Private Ryan". All wars are futile. Does anybody know what you are fighting for? Looking at history, how many wars were truly fought for good reason? You make it blantantly clear in your poem. it was a good read. i enjoyed it. All the best, Beeline!
I do not understand your poem. It seems to be a good read; however. Try as I may, it took me a while to understand it. It seemed quite bizarre not in a bad way. It was very interesting. Keep writing. I would like to read more of your material. All the best, Beeline!
Change. We all want change. Change your life. Change your looks. Change where you live. We all want change! But can we truly get change? I hope so. Being in pain what is so much to change? tHIS IS A VERY GOOD POEM! An enjoyable read. I found it somewhat depressing. But I hope that is what you were trying to convey. Once again, it was an enjoyable read. Keep on writing. You're very good at it. All the best, Beeline!
You really put a new perspective of evil. I can identify with alot of this. You were right evil is everywhere. Your best friend will stab you in the back for a pair of earrings. I found myself doing things I regret. It is hard to live with regret. And yes we were wrong all along. To quote you, Your poem was excellent. It made me read it again. it was a good read. And kept my attention throgh the whole read. All the best, Beeline!
The musette was wonderful. I liked how you did this. I have learned about rhyme scheme and you had it with this piece. it is great to learn new things and to see it in other people's work. You did a good job. I would be interested in reading some more of your other material. Happy New Year. all the best.
I was empressed with your thoughts. The acrostic was wonderful It was a wonderful read. I enjoyed it. Still, there were parts I didn't understand. This is about forgiveness, correct? I truly beileive in forgiving. I believe it can set you free. And I believe it isthe right thing to do. All the best, Beeline!
Dear Just a Lonely Girl,
No I cannot see what this is about. I like it. Your use of words were excellent. it was a good read. I tried to understand your poem. Though I liked it, it is a mystery to me. In some way I feel stupid. Could it possibly be a secret agent. Or perhaps a woman running from something or someone. The secret agent thing was a joke. Please email me and let meknow what this is about. I amdying to know. Keep writing. All the best, Beeline!
Your poem was about your mother being called to Heaven. It is a good read. I can understand and do understand for my mother is there too. I loved your use of words. I do have a little thing about God instead of god. You always Captialize the Godhead. That is showing reverence to the Creator. You did a good job. I am rejoicing with you that your mother is in Heaven. Maybe the two mothers have met already. I wouldn't be a bit surprised if that were true. All the best, and Happy New Year.
I agree with everything you have said.
The word you chose is superb.
Obviously you're at a concert.
This is a great poem.
Rhytmic, blasts invade the atmosphere.
I love that line.
This is a very good read.
There were no mistakes found in the whole piece.
You did a good job.
Happy New Year. All the best, Beeline!
Your poem sounds very much like a song. I am not sure if you notiiced that when you wroteit. Thicould be a nice song. The repetition very little rhyme all songs and poems do not have to rhyme. We all know that. I hope I haven't offended you. But telling you that your poem could be a song. I am a song wirter. And i suppose I see a song in every poem. Your poem was an excellent read. I wish you would try your hand at writing a song. happy New year. All the best, Beeline!
Your poem is so very sad. Depressing. I think it was an excellent read. I can identify with wanting to be someone else. I was once a teenage boy. And many times felt he same way. Your poem is written very well. This piece saddened me. But I suppose that was the point. You are a good writer. It hard to make me shed a tear and you did. Happy New Year. All the best, Beeline!
This is the first poem that I have reviewed about alcoholism. Growing up I had to live with an abusive alcholic. I also have a verygood friend who is a recovering alcoholic. Luckily, I have never seen at his worst. It would have broken my h eart. Your poem was very depressing. Yet I did enjoy reading it. i hope that all will be well. All the best, Beeline!
Your poem was one of tragedy,. Sadness is all about . However, I did enjoy it. I do hope I don't offend you. You said you were emotionally dead. I have been there many times. It is not a pleasant place to be. The depression that comes along with your poem is so painful. I hope you were able to find a place to get help. I myself have needed assistance during bouts of depression. But it was a sad poem. It made me think about the state of mental health in this country. I would love to read some of your other material. Hope you have a Happy New Year,. All the best,
Beeline!
I read your story. And its very interesting. It was all about your consicousness. My overall impression is that this is a good story. There were no mistakes found in the piece. You did well. it was about the body and mind going up against the other. The body wanted to sleep the day away. The mind said no. Happy New Year. All the best to you.
God and Satan black and white good and evil I agree Satan disguises the pain as you so eloquently put it. I have to say the good and the bad produces the Devil's spawn and God's children. I half way attempt to quote you. This was a very good poem. I found it to be an excellent read. I haven't found any thing else ofyours on Writing.com. i would enjoy reading some more of your material without so much controversry. Happy New year. All the best, Beeline!
I enjoyed your poem overall. The idea that God came to your rescue is a contrroversial not to say that it didnt' happen. There are people who do not believe in a Supreme being. Something obviously helped you. Whoever it was whatever it was theyturned your life around. And I find that amazing. It was an excellent poem. Happy New Year. All the best, Beeline!
This is a very interesting poem. I didnt' catch it at first but then I figured you were a vampire. That spiced up the story somewhat. So you're a shapeshifter. Interesting turn of events. It was a nice read. well written. And detailed. I don't understand why you didn't make a meal of him. Oh well. I did enjoy your poem. I would like to see some of your other material. Happy New year. all thebest, Beeline!
This poem is about a lovely lady. Everything in your life seems to revolve around her. You must be proud. Sometimes it seems like an obscession. Nothing wrong with that. When you have found someone like you have found you yourself are very lucky. Many people would give anything to be in your shoes. It was an excellent poem to read. It was written very well. I would enjoy seeing some more of your other matieral. Have a Happy New Year. All the best, Beeline.
Music means the world to me. I can never get enough. yes I can hear the music in the air. I am a song writer and musician. And I found your song to be lovely. Not like the horror and misery that some songi writers write about.Your song seems to have meaning. It was a wonderful read. The song is short. But that is how I like it short and sweet. You have talent. Continue to write. Have a wonderful new year. All the best, Beeline!
I agree everybody has the right to be cheerful and happy. Unfortunately, for millions of people in the United States they are not able to be cheerful andhappy. I myself sufer from mental illness. There is nothing fun about it. Depression and anxiety bipolar sketsophernia and obscessiv compulsive disorder these are diseases just as much as heart disease, cancer, kidney disease. I wish more people understood the seriousness of these illnesses. Your poem was excellent. It was a superb read. I hope someone more than just one reviews your poem and spread the knowledge. Keep writing, please. All the best, Beeline!
I maybe wrong but i don't see anything wrong with lust. But it is a fantasy most of the time. Unless it becomes an obscession to some as it may very well does. The poem was very interesting. An excellent read. it was good and as said before there is nothing wrong with lust. Happy New Year. All the best, Beeline!
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