Your poem/song was a very good read. You can see that you took alot of time with it. I am a song writer, myself. I seem to be trapped in a rhyming scheme. Not all songs have to rhyme. But as far as pleasure to the ear a rhyme or two doesn't hurt. The structure of your song was done well. I like to read some of your other work. Happy Holidays, All the best, Beeline!
ScorpionJD, I read your song found to be very abstract. It was a good read. But difficult to follow. Of course, all songs don't have to rhyme. In fact, as a song writer, myself, I have written several songs that didn't rhyme. But your song I believe could have benefited froma few rhyme here or there. But this is simply my opinion. i like to hear the music. It is thrash metal, techno, soft rock, etc.? I will be waiting to hear from you. Happy Holidays. All the best, Beeline!
This was a very sweet poem. However, sad. It was a great read. By the time I got to the end, i needed an antidepressent. I feel terrible for you. She must have been spectacular. She still holds your heart. If only you could find a way to move on. After all, you may be a pretty great guy. Keep on writing. Happy Holidays. All the best, Beeline!
This is a very tragic poem. As sad as they come. What did you do to make your best friend treat you the way he did? I can feel the hurt inside. I can tell it is eating you up. If he doesn't want to be your friend, I know its hard but let him go. You deserve better. If he says its all better why does it continue? I thought your poem was well written. Depressing. But well written. I hope things get better for you. " Sunshine's not the weather." but at least its not raining. happy Holidays. All the best to you, Beeline!.
This is a very sad poem. I do enjoy the story you tell. With the exception of the depression. Maybe if you had cleaned up yourself sooner, she would still be there. But I am being critical. I do like the poem. It was a good read. It was sad that you had to go to the bottom with the drinking. I know what that is like. I am a recovering alcoholic. Happy Holidays. All the best to you. P.S. Do you have any material on Writing.com that I could possibly read? Thanks in advance. Beeline!
Sometimes it is hard to write when things are going on. People talking in the background or other things. You did a superb job with this piece. One got the picture of you wanting to write something and that you had cleared your way of all the distractions. It was a very good read. Happy Holidays. All the best.
The poem was a good read. However, there was the question within my own mind as to what were you getting at. It seemed to flow well. You used your words very carefully. I didn't get it the first time I read so I had to read it again. You seem to be talking about the cracks in the sidewalks and the other things that happen on a busy thoroughfare. I hope I got it right for I hate having to give a review that is senseless. Happy Holidays. All the best to you and yours. Cubby(the one who did the review).The way I would improve this is to go back and make clear the statements that leave one up in the air. I said before, and will say it again it was a good read.
This was a very tragic poem. There are no words to describe what he was like or at least words I can put here. I, myself, have come close being in the same situation. It is no fun to be ignored, laughed at, or made little of. You spelled it out so beautifully. It was a hard read. No one should have to go through that. Happy Holidays. All the best, Beeline!
This was truly an emotional poem. For a first time you did superb. i enjoyed reading it very much. When I saw this was your first poem I didn't expect much. I was pleasantly surprised. Your signfiiciant other is quite a lucky person. Please keep writing. You have a gift. Don't take it lightly. keep up the good work. Happy Holidays. All the best, Beeline!
What wonderful advice! You must have experienced much in your time. I, myself, am going through a rough time. Your poem made me feel somewhat better. All is not lost. It was a very good read. I wish more people could read it. I am sure that it would help them too. Thanks. Happy Holidays, All the best, Beeline!
If I were you, I would have walked right over and snatched those pearls off her neck. Caused a huge scene and walked out with my dignity. This poem made me angry. Infidelity should be one of the seven deadly sins. If you want to have a relationship outside the one you are already having you should speak to your significant other. And close that chapter before opening another. But that is just my opinion. Happy Holidays and all the best, Beeline!
I did like where you were going with this poem. But, who am I? Just an amateur song writer. I agree life comes with duties. You have certain responsibilties that you should not avoid. Duty in life is just part of life. However, I don't think that it should be so strict that you live like a Nazi. It should be some give some take. I enjoyed your poem. It was an excellent read. I will be looking for more of your material. Happy Holidays. All the best, Beeline!
What a wonderful haiku! You can say so much with so little. I really liked it! I can't stress that enough. I am a song writer. I can take this and make into a beautiful ballad. Where did you come up with the emottion to write with? You must truly have a kind heart. Happy Holidays. All the best, Beeline!
I truly did enjoy your poem. You said so much in so little. Hope I am glad that there is one who believes is hope. No matter how dark things get, that little spark on the candle will show you the way. Though this poem was short, it had an excellent structure. it was a good read. There was no mistake found in the whole piece. Looking forward to finding another one of your pieces. Happy Holidays. All the best, Beeline!
Your poem was very sad. But the world is a horrible place. I suppose you were talking about those "rose colored glasses". I wish I had a pair myself. There are so many things that should never see the light of day. I feel for you. But your poem was a great read. It tugged at my heart. I do so wish you had your glasses back. Happy Holidays. All the best, Beeline!
I truly enjoyed your poem. It was an excellent read. It was very expressive. It seemed that this poem could have been written in the 16th century. It reads well. There were no mistakes found in the whole piece. You did a good job. Keep up the good work. And happy holidays to you and all the best. Beeline!
Dear Princess,
I, myself, am a song writer. I was looking forward to reading your poem. I loved the chorus. But some how it goes astray. I say this is great for a first song. :So plug your nose, open wide, and have a taste
You’re in for a surprise" It is a bit much. You don't seem to be going for a commericial song here. not hing wrong with that. It reminds me a bit of Evananecence. An excellent band unless I am out of the loop and they have broken up. I am more into my music today than what is on the radio. I think that this was a good try. Keep it up. It only gets better. Happy Holidays. All the best, Beeline!
This is a piece for the books. You have captured the blackbird well. However, you had me right up until you wanted to take a gun and shoot it down. It was a piece where man and nature was together. It flowed very well. You could see the pictures you had in mind about the blackbird. There is a certain beauty hat is all theirs. All the best. Happy Holidays, Beeline!
I found this to be an excellent read. It is heart felt. The violin was an excellent touch. Your words were very expressive. You told so much in such a short span. "Is it easier for lovers?" I wonder? It was a very well written piece. I will probably come back to find it again. All the best, Merry Christmas. Beeline!
Your poem was quite magical. I could feel the snow and see it falling. Mother Nature is a wonder. And one of the greatest wonders is snow in the Winter time. Snow angels. Haviing to shovel the sidewalk. Being stranded for all those days. These are some fo the wonderful things about snow. The poem I enjoyed very much. All the best, Beeline!
This person is a tortured soul. There is enough here to make someone want to jump off a 50 story skyscraper. You get your point across very well. It was an excellent read. Quite well written. I do enjoy my days of depression. It brings me back to reality. It also makes you stronger. Well, once again, I did enjoy your poem. would love to review more of your other material. All the best, Keep writing. Beeline!
My God, I wanted to slit my wrists after reading this. And that is not being sarcastic. It was truly very depressing. I feel like taking an antidepressent now. You did a good job. It was a great read. I been through what this poem is about. It is truly no fun. I find it hard to review sad poems. I am a little too sensitive. Oh well, I will have to get over it. I did enjoy reading your poem. All the best, Beeline!
Dear Sir or Madame,
Your poem was an excellent reading. You truly did what you said. You created a poem for the heartbroken. We've all felt that way at one time or another. time heals all wounds. You know that perfectly well. But in the meantime, you have to struggle with the heartbreak and pain. No mistakes in the poem. all the best, Keep on writing. Beeline!
This piece is received well. However, I think that the idea of a murderer could have been another way of life than that. I like the way you feel about things. There is nothing wrong with that. There were no mistakes found in the whole piece. You had an excellent read.
Dear williammichael,
I rather enjoyed your poem. With the exceptions of three spelling problems I found no mistakes. It was tragic. I myself of course, was once a teenager. And though I never got into any of this kind of trouble, I can identify. It was a very good read. Mature for your age probably. But you have the potential to be a good writer. So keep up the good work. Looking forward to your next piece,. All the best, Beeline!
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/ragtimes/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/40
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.29 seconds at 4:05am on Jul 07, 2024 via server web1.
| (4.0)
| (4.5)
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
