Marines rock and are one of the great reasons America can keep celebrating the 4th of July and our love of Freedom! We would not be the great nation we are without those brave souls that put it all on the line for us too weak to fight! Wonderful poem and thank you so much for sharing this important message!
When you walk into a hosptial, you are setting yourself up for a very real and harsh reality. I liked this poem and can feel some of the poem, but the wording in parts is confusing, as if you need to just go over this a few more times for editing. The story is here. Ask yourself, what part of this story are you telling? The dead girl or the person walking in to see it? You have great imagery, but a connection to the emotional part is missing. Thank you for letting me give my opinion on this poem. Ignore what you can't use and write on.
I wanted to come over and return the favor of reading one of my poems. You can sure write an emotional and lustful story. I love how this is more about your wanting and needing, yet you feel the connection is there, like you are not alone in your dreams and desires. Great job and thanks for bring me along. I can offer no suggestions. Write on!
You what? I am so confused or vexed as you put it. You ate the cherry too? Is that even possible? I am so laughing...Maybe you should put this in your humor folder? LOL..Oh you do know how to have fun at a party! No suggestions...Really how could I top this? You already added the whip cream!
Now would be a good time for that Shower!!
Oh the good ol' days of loving a Prince Charming type guy are indeed hard to find. However, you really pick on good looking guys and players. What if the Princess is not pure of heart? I did find that this story needs some editing work.
Every girls love fairytale stories like Cinderella...I think you need to say Every girl loves a fairytale...
You write every girls and it should be every girl. I also think you need to clean up some of the assumptions with your descriptions of a genius man, I didn't really understand what you were saying.
I do believe that underneath we are all good, and we need to keep looking for that one bright one to love.
LOVE IS!! What a fun and refreshing In & Out! I have to say, I want to come back and get my dose of love. I think this is going to filled with some great advice, funny ways of looking at the world and more love then one person can handle. So Thanks for sharing a wonderful idea and letting us, all show off our love.
1. Follow the prompt.I was really started to get worried about Gene. I like how the trees came into view and his creative thoughts took off.
2. Easy to Read. Great set up and I was really worried about Gene, something about a man getting lost, was very enjoyable but too realistic in away, that you had me very concerned for his safety. Thank you for pulling me into the story.
3. Errors/grammar. I am not an editor, so for me to find mistakes, they must really stand out. Nothing stands out, but I am so glad he was able to get back on the bus, and I hope he makes it home to Norma.
Because you are late, I can not include this in the contest, but I ma so happy you entered it. Great story.
1. Follow the prompt. The dogwood tree, is indeed a very special tree and your message was beautiful. I love how the picture inspired your story.
2. Easy to Read. It was easy to read, to feel, to see and to believe. I loved it from beginning to end.
3. Errors/grammar. I am not an editor, so for me to find mistakes, they must really stand out. Again, the writing was very clear and touching. I really enjoyed your story. Thank you so much for your entry. Good luck in the contest.
1. Follow the prompt. I know taking a picture to create a story is very hard. I do like that the heaven you visited was covered in pink.
2. Easy to Read. It was a sad story over-all and really very emotional. I like that kind of story.
3. Errors/grammar. I am not an editor, so for me to find mistakes, they must really stand out. I did notice a few things that need to be corrected. In your opening line, you have for cancer, I think it should read her cancer. Also you have a space after the question mark after Heaven? I also think the word realized is misspelled in your story. These are the only things that stood out. Otherwise I enjoyed the story and good luck in the contest!
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When a fire destroys a house, so much can happen to the soul. It is a lose that is so deep. I can feel so much in this poem, as if I am standing outside with mom and can feel her pain. I love the last stanza. It is so visual. I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story.
Write on!
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I love to end reading a poem with the words "Oh, Wow!" And this is what I feel when reading this. I love the imagery, but more important is the message that you are who you are, confident in yourself and asured that nothing can touch you where you are, where ever that is. I love that. I think this is so beautifully written. Thank you for taking me on a personal journey to sea and my own island.
Write on!
Michelle
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I love stumbling across writing that is moving, emotional and most of all insightful. You ask so many questions, I wonder if you ever find the answers you are looking for. Is life every going to give us the answers we need, or just keep pushing us along to find our own path and resoning? Please keep writing from you heart and soul. It is not only healing for you, but others can learn from your journey.
I love to read things about people. It is more interesting then fiction, and sometimes it makes me feel better about my own weakness...Oh yeah, I don't have any! LOL Thank you so much for setting up shop and being here to share your writing spirit. Your eye for artwork is stunning as well!
1. Follow the prompt. Using the trees and the flowers of your backdrop was very special. I enjoyed the connection to life and death in the leaves.
2. Easy to Read. I like the entire set up and I enjoyed how the story developed and even I was sad by her death and his acceptance.
3. Errors/grammar. I am not an editor, so for me to find mistakes, they must really stand out. You say you need to fix this up, but I found it very enjoyable to read. Great Job!
I wish I could get into this like the title implies. I tell ya this is pretty deep and your meaning is really beyond my scope of getting it. I am not a prude, I just don't know if I understand if you enjoyed it. or what kind of feeling you have. I normally can understand emotinal poetry, but this is not catching me.
1. Follow the prompt. Yep, you were in the woods alright.
2. Easy to Read. Great attention to detail and nice set up of the dream scenes.
3. Errors/grammar. I am not an editor, so for me to find mistakes, they must really stand out. Nothing stood out but the tail, that I must have missed in the wagging of this story. Oh you so got me with Macy being a dog!! I loved the suprise ending. Very clever and enjoyable read.
So it is true, we get back what we give!! Our kids will never be the perfect example of behavior. Only when they are sleeping! I loved all of this and can see it happening in my eyes. I love poetry that tells a story and can share an emotional response. Nothing beats a good laugh and duct tape! LOL
Okay, I love a woman that can think on her feet, make the best of an odd situation and make me laugh out loud! Clever writing and interesting to boot. I think I am I might be a lot like the dog! Hiding in the basement for a long long time! LOL Thank you so much for sharing your sense of humor in your writing!
1. Follow the prompt. I know this was a memory, but the pink tree was in there. Not easy to do, but you did it.
2. Easy to Read. I loved this story and could really see the enjoyment and relationship blossom. Very nice way to spend a vacation.
3. Errors/grammar. I am not an editor, so for me to find mistakes, they must really stand out. I did not find anything out of the ordinary. I enjoyed the flow and story-telling of the memory. Great job.
Young love can be so intense, wait...All love can be intense, you have great imagery here and some wonderful emotions expressed. How sad that sorrow is your greatest expression of love, perhaps that explains so much about who you are. I think you need to find a happier place to live. Smile more!! Thanks for sharing your collection of poetry. Keep writing and sharing your heart.
I found your acution on the Activties page. I am a huge fan of Auctions. I love that we can offer up items that are fun and enjoyable to receive and bid on. I like your set up and the font size is awesome! Sometimes auctions can get confusing, so I really like being able to see what is available. I wish you a ton of success on this auction. Thanks for sharing your time and giving heart.
Sending a donation for your groups.
Write on!
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Well this was one strange event. You think the boyfriend would have told her, he had a clone, and just why do you break up with him? Crazy maybe but is that really a reason to break up with him? It was a science project gone wrong? Maybe you should explain your reason's for the break-up. As strange as this story it, it is has some great qualities. Thanks for sharing it.
I like this but not how you go from me to Ed. I think you need to say my socks are mismatched to keep it all at the same voice. Just a suggestion. I think I can understand the low point. Not very pretty. I hope this is just fiction.
Oh the emotions just pour out of this realistic and honest look at this disorder. I love how you step inside your daughters world with her adoption feelings and as well as what it must be like to be bi-polar. The whirlwind of emotions do become so familiar that anything else would feel strange. You know I don't know what is worse, having Jackson know he is bi-polar all his life or having him discover it at a later time. I will never know, but am grateful that he knows he must take his medications. It is a vitamin that his body needs. He still has the mood swings and as he grows we still have to mess around with dosage, but you point out the real reason's for medication. I really enjoyed reading this and can find no fault in your writing. Thank you so much for sharing such an important story with all of us.
What a pleasure to fall upon this little treat. I love the feeling this inspired in me. I want to go to camp! I am sending Savanna to a day camp, but nothing beats the sounds and friendships that can be made with a week long camping trip. I am so jealous I never had this experience. Only for a night once at 5th grade camp.Thank you so much for eloquently telling me, what I just knew I was missing! I can find no errors in your writing and really enjoyed reading this. It is so awesome to Shower you!
I hope you enjoyed the shower!
Hugs,
Michelle
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