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1026
1026
Review of My Wife's Escape  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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Review of My Wife's Escape

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Ok well I guess that is one way to deal with soneone's infatuation. The wife is in love with her new car so that it has become a block between a husband and wife. The detail in the story is great. The whole story is humerous because it is so improbable. The fact that the other love in the wife's life is not a man but a car shows the kind infatuation that the story exposes As when infidelity happens in a family the offended party starts their own relationship. So in the end the husband buys another car.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Three characters. A man his wife and her love. The love is named Burt and is a 2012 Ford Escape.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Write more because this story was good.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and enjoy your anniversary.

dblameck
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1027
1027
Review of Written Words  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Review of Written Words an Online Quiz

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A good quiz but it was a little difficult. I guess I haven't read enough. Going to check for more quizes.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Make the quiz a little shorter and a touch easier and then have more quizes.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep up the good work and enjoy your anniversary.

dblameck
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1028
1028
Review of Identity Crisis  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
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Review of Identity Crisis
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A strange little story that seems to be about CSI at the beginning but quickly turning into a comic reflief type story. It is a little entertaining a good use of description.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The narrator and the dog are the principle characters but we have the old couple making a brief appearance before their death at the jaws of the dog.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Keep up the good work because I could not see any spelling or grammatical errors in this story.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and enjoy your anniversary.

dblameck
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1029
1029
Review of uncertainty  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
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Review of Uncertainty

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A poem from someone who is a pessimist. I want to just scream at the author to just go with it. Worrying about it will not make it any better. Tou wrote this well to make these feelings come through.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Good title because it really defines the poem. The poem is good because it hits the feeling exactly.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Keep writing. I want to see more that you have written.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Enjoy your anniversary,

dblameck
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1030
1030
Review of The Blizzard  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Review of The Blizzard
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A good story that many of us at least can partly identify with. Trying to get home while battling the elements, in this case snow. The story containts elements that pull on th heart strings. Trying to get home to a sick father who means a great deal to Grace.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Grace is the only character and most of what we know about her is expressed as her thought and feelings. The plot is straight forward. Trying to get home.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Keep writing. This story has a lot of good things in it.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I hope you enjoy your anniversary.

dblameck
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1031
1031
Review of Last First Kiss  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)
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Review of Last First Kiss

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A good little poem that has balance and maintains a standard form.

{c:greenRHYTM:

I read the poem aloud and it seems very good. Even enjoyable.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Write more. Write longer poems.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and enjoy your anniversary.

dblameck
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1032
1032
Review of Liquid Lightning  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)

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Review of Liquid Lightning

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A young takes half a can of one of the popular energy drinks. It causes him to have some strange dreams. It is an interesting concept that rather than making him more attentative it actually puts him to sleep.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Just one character and his impressions of taking the energy drink.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

It's a good story I would like to read more.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep wroting amd please enjoy your anniversary.

dblameck
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1033
1033
Review of In a Flash  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)

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Review of In a flash
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Seems to be a poem about some form of shooting of people in a public place which seems to be a grocery store. The imagery is quite interesting.. Of course the very idea of the terrible action of these shooting is deplorable.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

In a flash people's lives are changed. Putting it into fantasy does not help.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

It's a good poem and it is well written.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and enjoy your anniversary.

dblameck
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1034
1034
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
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Review of The Rainbow of the Storm
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Anger and loud expressions of feeling can be very detrimental to young people. This little story puts that in front of the readers. a good story with a great message.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Boy express how words and attitudes affect him. Words can cause tears.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Keep writing because you have a message that needs to be told.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and enjoy your anniversary.

dblameck
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1035
1035
Review of My Beloveds' Kiss  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
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Review of My Beloveds" Kiss

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A nice little story that needs a little work. If you do not have a spell check program you should get one. I have listed some of the errors I foumd in the first two paragraphs of this work. You can do better. The essential material is good. Just adjust the spelling and it will be a good story.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Two lovers share kisses and gentle touching expressing their feeling for one another.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

numd (numb) suns stifling heat (sun's) nech (neck) seductivley (seductively) opon (upon). It would also help to use a larger font.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and enjoy your anniversary.

dblameck
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1036
1036
Review of Rage  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
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Review of Rage

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

a short poem that shows the change in a life when we move from Rage to Forgiving. It allows peace to flourish. A good poem to post as a reminder of the need to forgive.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

No real characters other than all of humanity which needs to learn this lesson. Good poem. I like it when it is read aloud.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Keep writing you have a good message here. Share more thoughts like these.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Again Keep writing and enjoy your anniversary.

dblameck
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1037
1037
Review of Confused  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)

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Review of Confused


First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

An interesting little vignette that asks a question. It is an important question and while there are some places where mankind has laid waste of the planet, most of it is still beautiful.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

There is no plot or characters but there is a single questioning voice with a plaintive sentence. Brings much reflection to mind.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

This is a good question and I appreciate that it was asked.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and enjoy your anniversary.

dblameck
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1038
1038
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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Review of The Day You Never Came


First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A very good poem and story. The loss of love and the fact that the lover never comes back in the disaster for this person.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

A plot where the lover leaves and never returns but the one waits because he promised. A promise he did not intend to keep.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

A couple little things that I noticed. You wrote "five more minuets" I didn;t think you men dances but rather wanted minutes. Later you wrote "marry" when I am sure you meant to use merry.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and enjoy your anniversary.

dblameck
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1039
1039
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Review of Dirty Little Typewriter


First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A short little poem about the old typewriter. For many of us older writers we fondly remember our time spent with the keys and rollers. Today young writers do not even know what a carriage return is. They might imagine it when someone returns a borrowed baby stroller.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

This was a good poem and I would like to read more.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing. This was a good poem.

dblameck
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1040
1040
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Review of Submission and Seductiopn


First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A great story of two female lovers playing bondage games and enjoying the teasing and enticing that is envolved. I enjoyed the detail in the descriptions of the activities. You captured the feelings quite well, Unless you have experienced these things it is difficult to describe the emotions that go on behind the mask and the restraints.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Lana who if the woman who is restrained and Sara who is the active lover in this scenario are both shown to be desirious of the continuing erotic realtaionship.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I could not detect any spelling or grammatical errors in this story. You have a good story.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and entering these contests.

dblameck
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1041
1041
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: ASR | (3.0)
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Review of Fires of a Restless Soul


First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Why try and pick out other people's idea of resurrection. Develop a completely differest and unique idea.Almost every culture has some concept of an afterlife. It may because we cannot think that all this life we share on earth cannot be the end. So challenge us. Find your own way of looking at the afterlife experience.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

I suggest to make your story more entertaining you might have two poeple going through the experience. Make one male and one female.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Don't ask us to create your story. Get writing.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and enjoy your anniversary.

dblameck
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1042
1042
Review of I Am Here  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.0)
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Review of I Am Here


First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A short poem with a flash if spring and summer. Very lyrical and enjoyable. While it is free verse it is still very entertaining.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Write more. The poem is good and I expect to be able to read more of your work.


FINAL THOUGHTS:

Happy Anniversary.

dblameck
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1043
1043
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Review of The Restless Soldier


First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS: Good development of the vignette. What seems to be a battle scene where a soldier has abruptly been tossed haphazardly into turns out to a child playing with plastic soldiers./c}

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

A soldier thrust into battle with no understanding of how he got there. Seems like some sort of science fiction only to be revealed that is is a boy playing with plastic soldiers. It did seem lifelike for a moment.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I enjoyed the setting and the beginning of the story. keep writing.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Enjoy your anniversary.

dblameck
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1044
1044
Review of Last Goodbye  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Review of Last Goodbye


First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Good poem that reminds us that we never know we have the last opportunity to share with the ones's we love. The poem is well written and the simple rhyming sceme seems to flow quite easilly through the story.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Write more. This poem was enjoyable to read even if the topic was a bit serious.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Happy Anniversary and keep writing.

dblameck
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1045
1045
Review of The date  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.0)
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Review of The Date

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

It the kind of story that needs some type of introduction. It is like coming in at the middle of a movie. The constructs of the story seem reasonable but without some type of plot or why this is happening I find the writing has no substance. Nor does the comment in the last sentence.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

A twisted plot which is n ot revealed. Most readers would not enjoy this. Three characters, all women who seem to be looking for a way to enrige a man perhaps. Characters are even sketchy.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Even if it is flash fiction there should be some story.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Happy anniversary and keep writing.

dblameck
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1046
1046
Review of I Want  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
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Review of I Want


First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

My first comment is that I want what you want. What man would refute that. Good poem. It opens the mind to visions and causes he to want to write a reprise. Well done.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Write more and share it with all of us.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

have a happy anniversary and keep writing.

dblameck
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1047
1047
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
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Review of Sara's Christmas Wish


First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Wow. What a good story. When i read the title I expected some kind of fluff piece about christmas. The story brought tears to my eyes. You have taken Christmas and Santa Claus and made it all mean something special and a little frightening.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Just a couple characters and of course Sara without the H is perfect. The plot is the twist that makes this story./c}

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

There is nothing that I would change.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and enjoy your anniversary.

dblameck
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1048
1048
Review of Winter Wind  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)
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Review of Winter Wind


First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

An interesting short poem. It is a rhyming poem and I test each poem by reading it aloud. Read aloud this poem has a satisfying rhythm.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Write more. Write longer poems.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Have a GREAT ANNIVERSARY.

dblameck
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1049
1049
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
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Review of Miracle Called Bliss

May 23rd is your anniversary of joining WDC. First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A short poem written in free verse and providing images of nature. There is a lot of personification in the elements of nature in the poem.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Write more

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Happy anniversary and let us see more of your work.

dblameck
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1050
1050
Review of The Dinner Party  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Review of The Dinner Party


First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

First of all I will mention some things you should do. Use a larger font. It is very hard for the reader to read a longer story with so small a font. Second when you change from one character to another you need to at least specify that there is a change of person speaking. A very complex story that gets a little too involved.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The intertwinned plot is a little too complex for the way you are telling the story. The characters are not well defined and you keep adding more things which continues to muddy the water and the story.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

There are a few errors that I noted. You wrote "She new before marrying me". It should be knew. You wrote "my opinion change". It should be opinions or changed. You wriote "They both said I had change," Should probably be changed (or your character had a pocket full of quarters).

FINAL THOUGHTS:

This story has potential but needs more work. Keep at it this plot has potential.

dblameck
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