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3,599 Public Reviews Given
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Public Reviews
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1001
1001
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

Review of Just a Walk in the Dark
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A humerous look at a walk in the dark. We know there is nothing really to fear out there. Some once said the only real fear is fear itself. I enjoyed all the various scenarios that you highlighted for us.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

A man walking his dog in the early morning when it is still dark struggles with what else could be out there in the dark. A very interesting story.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I didn't find any grammatical or spelling errors in this story.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Write more like this. The story was interesting and enjoyable.

dblameck
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1002
1002
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)

Review of Bury Me in Her Womb

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A poem from a child whose mother dies in childbirth asking to be left with his mother. A very pertinent line is "After she bled to death. Her family somehow moved on, But certainly I did not." This was a very moving poem

RYTHMN & FLOW:

Free form verse with a repeating first line of each stanza "bury me in her womb". When I read this poem it brings tears to my eyes.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Let everyone read this poem.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing .

dblameck
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1003
1003
Review of "I hate you"  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Review of I Hate You

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A poem about disagreement and disappointment. The writer wants the other to change but they will not. This is not a new feeling. This is well expressed by this poem.

RYTHMN & FLOW:

The poem has a variable rhyming pattern. When it is read aloud it the poem is very striking.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I wouldn't change a thing. It is a good poem about a very important subject.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing. This is a good piece of work.

dblameck
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1004
1004
Review of Remember When  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Review of Remember When

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A good poem about past memories. Unfortuntately I am not quite old enough to have those memories. I am aware of the events mentioned but mostly only through my reading.

RYTHMN & FLOW:

Five verses with the pattern of A A B B C C. The lines are of different length but they seem to flow well together. When the poem is read aloud it is very entertaining.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Share more of your vision and memories with us.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing. I found this poem very entertaining.


dblameck
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1005
1005
Review of The Daisy  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Review of The Daisy

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

How many of us have done that simple little pulling of the petasls and looking for the right answer. It brings good memories.

RYTHMN & FLOW:

Two short verses with an A B C B rhyming scheme. Lines are all short so that it flows well.


SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

It passes the test of sounding good when readf aloud.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing.

dblameck
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1006
1006
Review of Tie Dye  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Review of Tie Dye

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A good poem brought on my memories prompted by clothes and the memories they bring back to us. A nice and enjoyable poem.

RYTHMN & FLOW: Nine verses with the pattern of A B A B. The lines are of similiar length and thereby flows well.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

The poem gives good imagery and sounds good when read aloud.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep up the good work. I think it is a good poem.

dblameck
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1007
1007
Review of Your Intense Kiss  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Review of Your Intense Kiss

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A open free verse poem lingering on the idea of a kiss. Of course it is a particular kiss from a particular person. The pressing of wet flesh against wet flesh that for some reason is so wonderful.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Please continue to express yourself with wonderful words and phrases they enable your readers to enjoy them.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

A good poem. Keep writing.


dblameck
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1008
1008
Review of Amsterdam  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Review of Amsterdam

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

The entire story seems to be a long prologue to a meeting of a man and woman who have been exchanging time on the internet. Much of the detail in the story seems to be unnecessary to the telling of the story. You wrote a story about a man arriving in Amsterdam and filled it with the mundane details of the arrival. There are probably vital information you want your reader to know. It is probably here also but you have included it with the myriad of trivial things that happened.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Ru or whatever that is short for is the man arriving in Amsterdam and her name is Myra. They had corresponded via MSN messenger and were active on Second Life. He has beeked into a hotel with the intention of meeting her in person. The rest is lost amongst the over abundent details of the text.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Do the Readerès Digest operation on this story. Condense it. Charles Dickens was paid by the word for what he wrote. He was much more concise than you.

FINAL THOUGHT

Make it shorter. Tell the story. Make it better.

dblameck
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1009
1009
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Review of Itès Yesterday Again

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A poem about an affection that has ended but with the hope of renewal. Love that lasts forever and love that lasts even longer.

RHYTHM & FLOW:

The pattern is A A B B carried through four verses. It meets my test of being read aloud and still making a good flow.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Write more. There are never too many good poems out there.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing.

dblameck
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1010
1010
Review of Always Autumn  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Review of Always Autumn

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

I love free verse. Your poem or story is very moving because it contains deep feeling and emotions. It is a grerat vivualization of a fall picnic with a dear friend. I really enjoyed the poem.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

A man and woman. The relationship is not specified but there is a sense of love between the two. They share a special moment in autumn.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Write more stories or poems like this.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing. Writing promotes reading. Reading makes the world a better place.

dblameck
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1011
1011
Review of Holding On  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of Holding On

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A good poem which deals with the frustration with trying to help a friend who seems is resisting the help.

RHYTHM & FLOW:

The rhyming scheme ia A B A B and is maintained through all five verses. It is a good poem.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

We need to have more poetry of this nature. You seem to have the ability to write it. So get with it.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and enjoy and your anniversary.

dblameck
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1012
1012
Review of I am beautiful.  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.0)

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of I Am Beautiful

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

This seems to be a list of wants for a companion than actually a thesis on who the author is. The whole concept seems to me to be pretenous


PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Only one character and a list of wants.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Use a bigger font to make the story more readable.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and enjoy your anniversary.

dblameck
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
1013
1013
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Review of A Commanfder's Dilema
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Well presented episode of a larger story. The technical aspect of the story seems correct. I would think since both officers are disagreeing that this village should have been attacked there would be a more repugant feeling and description of the results of battle. For instance hit on the scents of battle burnt wood mixed with the sticky sweet smell of burnt flesh. The sight of a body that had been hacked apart and the blood was flowing in rivlets down the gutters of the street.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The only characters in this portion and the Commander and his immediate subordinate who questions the need for this attack. The Commander rightfully tells him not to question orders in front of the troops. It seems the Commander also questions the orders.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

You wrote "Many never made it out of their home as the flames consumed them." Since many and them is plural I suggest that home also be made homes. again use more and better descriptive passages.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

It sounds to me like it is going to be a good story. Now get to work and produce.

dblameck
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1014
1014
Review of Five Seconds  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Review of Five Seconds

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

That is exactly what it is like. There is no rest. Death can come in any moment. The story shows 3 marines pausing for a moment and then a generade is tossed in amongst them. They have a mere fve seconds before they face death. What thoughts go through the minds and theur reactions are the essence of this story. It is a very moving story and I enjoyed reading several times.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Death and life all compressed in a mere five seconds. The factor that happens with all this is the anger that builds and builds.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Write more. This is a good story.



dblameck
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
1015
1015
Review of Choices  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Review of Choices


First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A good poem which has reference to unwanted children being born. What decisions that must be made and what feeling go along with all this. It not only sets a standard for unwed mothers it is also a popular grasp of the fact that women have choices.

RHYMN & FLOW:

The poem has 13 four line verses. The rhymming pattern is A B C B. The poem's flow is not spectacular but reasonably good. It is a message poem rather than a lyrical poem.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Keep Writing.



dblameck
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1016
1016
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Review of This Thing Called Love

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

An impression by the poet of what love is. It is compelling and not merely romantic. I thought it was good poem.

RHYTHM & FLOW:

The rhyming pattern is A B A B and set into four line verses. The five verses flow quite well.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

The poem is quite good when it is read aloud.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing your poetruy. I enjoyed it.

dblameck
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
1017
1017
Review of Morning Kiss  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Review of Morning Kiss

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Sharing the life that meant so much to him and the simple things that were a part of it the man now realizes that those are the things that he misses so much. I am not sure what caused the change but for our writier it is the difference between night and day. The story is moving and the ending brought tears to the corners of my eyes.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

A man has a woman he loves. He remembers the things that he enjoyed in their time together. However something has changed. We are left with only questioning what that could be. It is not what is important but the feelings that the man feels and writes about.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I found no grammatical or spelling errors. Write more stories like this. I thought it was good.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep at it.

dblameck
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
1018
1018
Review of Decisions  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Review of Decisions

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A hired assassin's target in a baby. He has a bead on his target but waits. He has never shot and killed a child let alone a baby. His indecision cost hi becasuse the baby's mother is also an assassin. He gets shot by the mother. It is a good story even if the ending is a bit predictable.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The original assassin, the mother and the baby. Of that group two are packing guns. The story has a good flow and a strong ending.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I found no spelling or grammatical errors.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing I would read more stories like this.

dblameck
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1019
1019
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
Review of Eating a Man - the poll

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Since I am not female I did not take the poll because I did not want to skew your results. However I wonder why you would even consider the eating of human flesh. Of course there is some erotic and sensual aspects to biting, licking and sucking by either sex on their partners body parts. However even the most stringent followers of BDSM would not think of actually taking a bite of someone's flesh. So therefore I think that your poll is not effective and in very poor taste. Any damage to another person is deemed to be criminal.

{{c:green}FINAL THOUGHTS:

Put you talents to exploring something more beneficial.

dblameck
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1020
1020
Review of The Collapse (1)  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Review of The Collapse

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

What more terrible words could she have heard. Your story has grasped the pain and suffering a mother to be must feel with than announcement. She stands within the area of the technology that has given her the unfortunate information that she doesn't really want. Your words portray the feeling quite well.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Katy unborn child may not survive. You have skillfully set the stage with a character who is ideally created for the strife of this situation.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Contiue with the story and show us the strength of the character.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

The common tragedies of life are what makes a good story.

dblameck
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
1021
1021
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of Pretending We're Okay

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

a poem about hiding shameful emotions and thoughts. The premise is if we can not see it then it is not there. Of course we know that is not true.

RHYMING AND FLOW:

The rhyme pattern of AA BB falls apart in lines 15 thru 18. The flow of the poem is good.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Use a larger font to make it more readable.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and enjoy your anniversary.

dblameck
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
1022
1022
Review of Rebecca  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Review of Rebecca

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Great story. You take phone sex to a new high level. You set the scene very well. The back story was superb. The situation was slowly carried forward. Even if the reader like myself expected the eventual ending they would still be delighted to be slowly taken through the steps until the ultimate satisfaction for Rebecca.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Rebecca, the boss trying to relax in a warm bath after a disasterous meeting caused by Greg the salesman. Greg calls and he has been drinking and rebecca supposes that he is also maturbating once he realizes she is in the batth. she leads him on until the end where he gets what he wants and then what he deserves.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I wouldn't change anything. I thorughly enjoyed this story.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and posting these stories.

dblameck
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
1023
1023
Review of A Tale of Pennies  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*



Review of A Tale of Pennies


First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A short little story that pulls at the strings of the heart until tears well up in the corner of my eyes. you can obviously tell that I enjoyed your flash fiction.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Nursing Home or hospital, patient and nurse or is there something more. It does not matter because the emotion of the moment is prevelent.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Extend this story. Give us backround and more of the story,

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and enjoy your anniversary month.

dblameck
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
1024
1024
Review of Bi-polar  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*



Review of Bi-polar

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Good expression of the feelings around being bi-polar. I know the feeling as I also am bi-polar. You hit the things that deal with the disease quite well.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

While not being very poetic, it does essentially hit the spot with the information and the feelings.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

In the last line you misspelled doesn't.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and enjoy your anniversary.

dblameck
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
1025
1025
Review of Dear Love  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*



Review of Dear Love

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A very romantic and forceful expression of devotion and love between a knight and his lady. It is written in an early english style and the terminology is befitting this type of letter. I enjoyed reading it and will look forward to reading more of your work.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

A poem which is a letter from a knight to his love who is a lady.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Write more.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and enjoy your anniversary.

dblameck
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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