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1126
1126
Review of Fear  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (3.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of Fear

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
A very short poem but one that shows a great deal of emotion. It is open verse and metre and it shows much forethought. It has a a scarey nature when it is read aloud.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Write more poems expressing feeling and thoughts.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Have a happy anniversary.

dblameck
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1127
1127
Review of The Poetry in War  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of The Poetry in War

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
Three distinct poems that describes the not so nice aspects of war. I thought each of the poems was good.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Keep Writing.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Enjoy your anniversary.

dblameck
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1128
1128
Review of What is Love?  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of What is love

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
Well i think that about covers it. I am glad love is a feeling that is different for each person. Love can be what you need it to be.

LYRICAL:
The poem was an introspective look at that feeling of love.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Keep writing.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Enjoy your anniversary.

dblameck
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1129
1129
Review of Finding Myself  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (3.5)

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of Finding Myself

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
A man who see himself as a wolf, First as a pup and then as an older wolf.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Keep writing this has potential.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Enjoy your anniversary.

dblameck
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1130
1130
Review of All Hallow's Eve  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of All Hallow's Eve

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
A lot of imagery to portray the activities of Halloween. It's a good poem.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Keep writing.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Enjoy your anniversary.

dblameck
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1131
1131
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of Found Expression of Love

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
A lot of interesting phrases that are descriptive but it is hard to see how it links together,

PLOT & CHARACTERS:
no characters and no discernable plot

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
They're should be their

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Keep writing and enjoy your anniversary.

dblameck
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1132
1132
Review of Jingle Jangle  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of Jingle Jangle

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
A spooky scarey little story. which seems quite complex in the beginning. i enjoyed reading it.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:
Colin and Michael are well documented and interesting characters.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Keep writing.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Enjoy your anniversary.

dblameck
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1133
1133
Review of Thief  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of Thief

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
This portion of some continuing story It seems that Maxine is trying to escape from the guards. Good descriptions of the intended escape.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:
Not enough words for much character development but the story seems to support Maxine.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Write more.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Keep writing and enjoy your anniversary.
dblameck
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1134
1134
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of Heather's First Day

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
I remember it well. You described the events perfectly. Well done.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:
a story that is common to almost all and yet every heart leaps at hearing it. Good story.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Keep writing.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Enjoy uour anniversary.


dblameck
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1135
1135
Review of The Screen Test  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of The Screen Test

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
I thought this might be interesting but it seemed to lack zeal after a while. When you moved to the second stage where the camera guy was a cross dresser I found the story no longer compelling.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:
Jade and the camera guy/director. Jade got bored and so did I. I still don't know what you were trying to acheive.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Use a larger font.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Keep writing and enjoy your anniversary.

dblameck
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1136
1136
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of Clarabells Secret

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
An interesting story but it leaves a lot of questions. Loose send are sometimes beneficial but not when there is no way for the reader to gain from them.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:
Marcus and Mrs Clements examine the painting. It might be another painting by Bentley

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Use a larger font.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Keep writing and enjoy your anniversary.

dblameck
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1137
1137
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of If only for that Moment

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
reflectioms upon an eulogy. The piece does not have a lyrical quality to it.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Keep writing.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Have a happy anniversary.

dblameck
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1138
1138
Review of Twenty More  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of Twenty More

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
An interesting concept. After reading your story I wondered if twenty more would be a blessing or a curse. I am sure my funds I have put aside would not last an extra 20 years. It was a good story and it seems to me that it was well thought out.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:
a woman given 20 more years. Youth restored is the magic that everything we buy seems to be for. Again you seem to have thought this through quite well.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Keep writing.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Have a happy anniversary. Twenty more of those too.

dblameck
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1139
1139
Review of Working Girls  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of Working Girls

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
A descriptive story depicting the activities ofstreet prostitutes taking a break in a diner. The story is non-sexual in nature. Comments are made about each woman usually just touching on dress or size.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:
I think a lot more could be done with this story. The author brings in how Christ dealt with this type of women. Christ treated as people.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Work on this story.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Enjoy your anniversary.

dblameck
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1140
1140
Review of Anticipating  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Review of Anticpating

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
Expectation of love by another is intoxicating. This is what happens to your life when this situation occurs.


SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
a good poem I enjoyed it.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Enjoy your anniversary.


dblameck
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1141
1141
Review of Work Fantasy  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of Work Fantasy

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
A good erotic fun story between a married couple when she comes to the office for hot sex and relax her husband before an important meeting. The action is well paced and the entire story flows well with no interuption.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:
Alora comes to work dressed really hot with no panties and gets under her husbands desk and provides a great blow job which is a fantasy that he has had. She then proceeds to have sex with him on his desk. Sexual action is well described and extremly hot.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Perhaps use a slightly larger font to make for better readability.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Keep writing and enjoy your anniversary.

dblameck
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1142
1142
Review of Emotion  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of Emotion

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
I did not find you hard to read. Your words tend to be lyrical which is good. I would have to read more and see what other types of poems before making a firm judgment.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Keep writing.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Enjoy your anniversary.

dblameck
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1143
1143
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (3.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of Why they should call you a writer.

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
I guess that is the reason that they do not call me a writer. I can throw words at each of those things but to craft them into something the reading audience would enjoy is another matter. Interesting written in plain verse with no rhyming scheme.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Keep writing.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Enjoy your anniversary.

dblameck
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1144
1144
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Brainstormers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Review of What's so FUNNY About Depression?

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
Great essay. I have been bi-polar or at least diagnosed for fifty years. For most of that time I have fortunately had the aid of medications. People don't understand that the medications need to reviwed and adjusted on occasion and the fact that I am sitting and crying like a baby over something that happened in a movie may just be me needing that adjustment. The depression never really goes away. You just have days that you can live it.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Once again Thanks for writing this.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Kepp writing and have a happy anniversary.

dblameck
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1145
1145
Review of Larry's Body Shop  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of Larry's Body Shop

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
I always thought I was one of the guys until i read this story and realized this was a different world from where I lived. A lot of great descriptions in this story and even colourful characters. But why. Where is the direction.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:
Good characters but I was finding it hard to find a plot. I began to wonder why am I reading this.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Build a plot that I can follow, but definitely keep writing the detail in your stories is interesting.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Have a happy anniversary.

dblameck
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1146
1146
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Review of Butterflies and Daises

. Thank you for allowing me to enjoy and review your work. The
> feedback is meant only to encourage and inspire you to continue your talent. All
> suggestions are that alone and formed from my opinion. I am not a professional, just a
> lover of reading and writing.

>
> Narrative & Dialogue:
> For me it was a story of a girl who is forced to leave childhood behind. She wants to remain in the world of butterfies and dasies but has been thrust into a much more conflicting world. You portrayed the feelings well.
>
> Form & Flow:
> There is a simple flow to the story and that brings us to a point of action. Your story does not go there. You leave your reader to decide what will happen to Mandy. In Mandy's own words she must do something. I think the story would be better if you brought us over that hurdle.
>
> Imagery & Emotion:
As a poet you are familiar with the importance of imagery. Your title fits into that idea of images of nice things. However you character is in a world on other images. It is now your responsibility tot make the story flow on. You have chose to end the story here and allow the reader the task. I believe you need to take the step and move us through the conflict amanda must face. I presume this is where your story will go. I would love to read how you would continue the story. If you do pick up your pencil on this one, Let me know, because I have enjoyed what I have read so far.
>
> Suggestions & Typos:
> Well edited. Only comment is don't leave Mandy waiting.
>
> Overall Thoughts & Rating:
> I give you a 4.0 rating for this piece of work. If you continued this piece I would make that 4.5. Thank you for sharing your work and > talent.{c}
>
>
>
> Write on!
>

dblameck
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1147
1147
Review of The Obsession  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*

Review of
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
A good story with imagination. It's amazing what a little fertilizer will do even for ingested seeds.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:
A women picking up unusual things from her property which turns to be seeds eaten by kangaroos and passed thru their system.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Keep writing

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Enjoy your anniversary.


dblameck
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1148
1148
Review of The hunted  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of The Hunted

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
Interesting story. You made it seem like it were people who were being hunted. I can imagine deer thinking the way you have portrayed.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:
The Hunters and the Hunted. The plot makes it seem like we are on the side of the hunted.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Yoe wrote ""Ah, this is the live" said the the older of the three" Should be "Ah this is the life said the older of the three".

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Keep writing and enjoy your anniversary.

dblameck
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1149
1149
Review of Divine Judgement  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of Divine Judgement

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
The poem which is like an indictment for those who sin. Thereby an indictment for all of us. Thank God that He also provides grace.
I enjoyed the poem.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Keep writing.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Enjoy your anniversary.

dblameck
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1150
1150
Review of Blind  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of Blind

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
Good poem with a lot of very true statements. You tied it together very neatly. Sounds good when read aloud.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Keep writing.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Enjoy your anniversary

dblameck
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