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1176
1176
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of Shattered Misconceptions

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
A good story that is well written and interesting. Very good representation of feeling and emotions in this story.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:
The plot is almost expected. The characters and their reactions do make it an interesting read.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
No suggestions other than to keep writing.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Enjoy your anniversary.

dblameck
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1177
1177
Review of Time Enough  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of Time enough

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
Great little story. Strong emphasis placed on descriptions and historic factors.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:
The plot of abuse is carefully brought to light. The characters are the highlight of the story. Very good.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
I found no spelling or grammatical errors in the story.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Keep writing and enjoy your anniversary.

dblameck
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1178
1178
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Review of If you Love someone.

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
A good story about the fial farwell in this life for a couple. It is well written and a quite enjoyable story to read.

PLOT & CHARACTERS
Husband and wife on the hospital bed. she is attempting to convinve him to go to a reunion. the reunion in this case is actually death and new life.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Keep writing.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Enjoy your anniversary

dblameck
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1179
1179
Review of Careless Wishing  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Brainstormers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (2.5)
Review of Careless Wishing

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
I found this story very hard to read. Sometimes I was able to perceive what you were trying to say. Unfortunately many times I was unable to make out what the words you used were supposed to be. There are also missing verbs and a lack of puncuation and capital letters

PLOT & CHARACTERS:
It looked like an interesting plot and the one character seemed strong.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
It looks like you used a word processor with a spell check that replaces words that are not spelled correctly. The words it replaced were not the correct one. Get someone to edit and assist you.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Enjoy your anniversary.

dblameck
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1180
1180
Review of Dreamlike  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Review of Dreamlike
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
Perhaps nightmare like. a lot of great stories can come from the work you have done here. Each line is like a prompt for another story

PLOT & CHARACTERS:
A dream or not, rowing for a nearby shore in the fog. On a reef. multiple good ideas. Needs better character definition and description.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
I would use it as basis for some longer story.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Enjoy your Anniversary.

dblameck
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1181
1181
Review of Yoda Remembers  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Review of Yoda Remembers

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
Quite the spoof. I don't thing I will be able to watch Star Wars (any of the episodes) again. I enjoyed your story, You have a sick mind.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:
Yoda, and his parents Mabel and Jabba. A fun plot with already recognized characters.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Keep up the good work writing challenging story ideas.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Have a great Anniversary

dblameck
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1182
1182
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Brainstormers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Review of One night of Blood

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
An interesting poem but I found it hard to read.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Extend the poem.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Keep writing and enjoy your anniversary.

dblameck
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1183
1183
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Review of The Commodore's Cupid

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions. I found this story my looking at some of the previous winners of the Paradise Cove contest. I don't recall seeing your name as a recent entry in the contests.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
A definitely strong story with great romantic appeal.

PLOT & CHARACTERS
You build the characters expertly and share their emotions with us. Thank you for those images.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Would love to read more.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Enter the contests for the future.

dblameck
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1184
1184
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Review of Minnesota's New Casino Culture

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
The same story is being played over and over again. It is not a positive picture.. This story is like a warning bell.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:
Well written and unfortunately extremely accurate.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
The story is fine. The number of casinos seem to grow every day. They never go out of business.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Enjoy your anniversary.

dblameck
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*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*
1185
1185
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Review of Read Before You Clikc

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
A good story. I promise to read the agreement from now on. Who am I kidding? No one reads those things.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:
An interesting idea for a story. I enjoyed it.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
None,

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Keep writing and have a great anniversary

dblameck
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1186
1186
Review of Brian's Brain  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Review of Brian's Brain

I selected your story/poem to be reviewed by me for the sharing of
others work on WDC. Thank you for allowing me to enjoy and review your work. The
feedback is meant only to encourage and inspire you to continue your talent. All
suggestions are that alone and formed from my opinion. I am not a professional, just a
lover of reading and writing.
Narrative & Dialogue:
 Nice story with all the horror I want for today thank you. I guess it doesn't pay to be a bully. The story runs along nicely and the dialogue does not distract from the story.

Form & Flow:
 Your story was easy to follow and had no lag whatsoever from beginning to
finish.

Imagery & Emotion:
Great visuals with the packing tape and the medical instruements.Enjoyed a bully getting his own back.

Suggestions & Typos:
 None

Overall Thoughts & Rating:
 I give you a 4.5 rating for this piece of work. Thank you for sharing your work and talent.{c}

Star Rating
Tone & Mood 4.0
Plot & Characters 4.5
Technical Aspects 4.5
Total Rating 4.5



Write on!



dblameck
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1187
1187
Review of The Fun House  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)


Review of The Fun House

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
A good story that is scarey and a little confusing as to what actually happens. a lot of what happens does not have explanation.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:
Three teens sneak into a closed fun house and two of them are never heard from again. Characters are well defined.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
I did not find any grammatical or spelling errors.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Keep writing.

dblameck
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1188
1188
Review of The Closet  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of The Closet

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
Not the scariest story I have ever encountered but at least you were trying. It is hard to make something out of nothing.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:
a boy afraid of the dark and the results.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Well done story it needs nothing more.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
keep writing.

dblameck
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1189
1189
Review of The hangover  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of The hangover

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
A fairly good representation of what a hangover is like. I presume the writer of character is female.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:
I loved the sentence "Alcohol was a deceiving friend". The woman flirts and drinks and the amount of alcohol she intakes allows her to drink myself to a pitiful and shameful state.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
No obvious speeling or grammatical errors.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Keep writing.

dblameck
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1190
1190
Review of The Crimson Angel  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)

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Review of The Crimsom Angel

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
a lot of material but it is not well organized. Sentences are often started with the pronoun "I" With the small font you have used the story is hard to read.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:
One character and the story is basically a self written character study.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Rewrite the story using paragraphs and organizing your writing. Watch sentence structure and lenght.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Keep writing.

dblameck
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1191
1191
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Brainstormers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)

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Review of The end of my beginnings

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
You are trying very hard to make your writing standout. The first line is just too much. Break your poetry up into shorter palable thioughts.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Use a different format for your poems

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Keep writing. It takes time.

dblameck
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1192
1192
Review of Daymare  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)

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Review of Daymare

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
Interesting story about a nightmare in the daytime. The begiinning is not a strong opening.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:
The man who sleeps on a park bench and some creature. Why does we run from the creature?

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Too many sentences start with I. Sentence structure will greatly improve this story.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Write and fix you sentences and this could be a good piece.

dblameck
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1193
1193
Review of She  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Brainstormers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)

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Review of She

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
A poem of regret and remorse. Supposedly a self study. Love is a harsh mistress Their is a lot of good descriptive feelings.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Wite more poetry


dblameck
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1194
1194
Review of The Storm  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Brainstormers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)

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Review of The storm

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
The storm can be many things for each of us. Thankyou for sharing your thoughts. They are poignant. There is a saying that you cannot stop the rain. The truth is what you do once you are wet in what makes the difference.


FINAL THOUGHTS:
Keep writing.


dblameck
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1195
1195
Review of Really, dad?  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Brainstormers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)

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Review of Really Dad

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
I am sure those were yor feeling when you wrote the poem. You should probably let him read your poem. I am sure he wants the best for you, just as I read near the end that you want the best for him. Thank you for expressing yourself.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Let your dad read your poem. It might hurt for a minute but it can help.


dblameck
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1196
1196
Review of Chick Flick Quiz  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)

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Review of Chick Flick Quiz

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
Now this was a good quiz. I will probably do the others too. Thanks for making my day. I'm a guy and I scored 80% on a chick flick quiz.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
More things like this will make the day go better. I enjoyed it.


dblameck
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1197
1197
Review of The Museum  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Brainstormers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Review of The Museum

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work .I am doing this review to celebrate your anniversary as a member of WDC. I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
A good story. It has some flaws but I am sure that you could easily improve it.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:
Shreya a girl who has had to deal with some frightening experience in her life.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Always capitalize first letter of names. You wrote "they were showing scare and insecurity." perhaps you meant scared?

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Keep up the good work.


dblameck
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1198
1198
Review of The Fountain Pen  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Review of The Fountain Pen

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . This review is also being done to celebrate your birthday as a meber of WDC. I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
Could it be the pen? Was it magical? While the pen might not be your talent for writing does have some strong qualities. It's a good story.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:
A unique plot and characters. The pen benefits those who good wishes are sent to.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
You type received wrong in the third line after typing it correctly in the second line.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Keep up the good work

dblameck
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1199
1199
Review of Love Lost  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Review of Love lost

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work .This review is also given to celebrate your anniversary as a member of WDC. I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
A romantic interlude where a girl gets her heart broken because the boy she wants to go to the prom with is going with someone else. Done mostly is fialogue the story makes sense. Spacing would improve the readability of the story.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:
Taylor and Emi. a common plot that is well carried out.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Expand the story. What happens next. What will Emi do?

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Keep writing.


dblameck
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1200
1200
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Brainstormers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Review of The stork with a mask

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work .I am doing this review to celebrate your anniversary as a meber of WDC. I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
While this is writen as prose in story format I feel it is just a poem what needs some massage and tender care to escape these confines for something better. so take your structure and revise it to a poetry format and I am sure you will be pleased with the result.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:
A single voice that wails alone looking for more.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Like i said before, turn it into a poem.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Keep writing and happy anniversary.


dblameck


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