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976
976
Review of Want.  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)

Review of Want

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

This sounds like a submissive's prayer and desire. It is well done and I found it fascinating.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The characters as always the sub and the dom. Slave and master.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I saw no flaws at all.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Good work. Write more.

dblameck
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977
977
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Review of Men, Women and Flowers

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

It seems we have a new John Gray. This is as good an explanation of the feelings and emotions of both men and women. Yes we are simple creatures with simple desires and needs. You really have said it all in this article.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

No plot or characters other than all humanity. You those people pegged exactly.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Write a book. You know the facts,

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Well done. Keep writing.

dblameck
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978
978
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Review of Sindi and her DreamMann

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A story about a woman who meets a man in an internet chat room. She seems to be infatuated with him and he does everything to get her attention. at one point he attempts to influeence her by telling her he sensed a deep hurt within her. He pushes this fact and she follows his leading and eventually into acceptance of him.{/c
}
PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Two character dealing with each other in a chat room. There is really no physical description of the characters and the plot seems to be dealing with what sindi thinks of DreamMann.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

The sentence structure is confusing and the use of the three periods seems overused.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I am unsure of the conclusion of the story. It just seems that she re-logged in to the chat room.

dblameck
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979
979
Review of Reconciliation  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)

Review of Reconciliation

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Angry sex is still sex. Your description of the activities between the two unnamed characters is quite good.. However you need more attention to detail. Simple spelling and grammatical errors hurt your story,

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

If I had not read your statement that it was about lovers reconciliating I would not have imagined that. Your characters are superficial and not described nor named.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Just a few things I noted: Spacing "with alaughing groan". Spelling: "soft moun in between her legs." should be mound, "himself seeper and deeper" should be deeper. Wrong words used "body begin to soar." either began or begins to.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Good material. It just needs some attention to make it better.

dblameck
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980
980
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

Review of Victoria's Secret Revealed

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

First error you made was to agree to go shopping with your girl friend. It all goes back to the orgins of even the cave man. Men were the hunters. Women were the gathers. Women had to look around and select the best The hunter would not look at a prey and think that one is not good enough let me pick another one. He would take the first thing his weapon would provide him. That same way of thinking has continued to this day. Women will take there time and select what they think are the best and worry later if they got the best. Men select something and walk out of the store.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

A man makes a mistake to go lingerie shopping with his girl friend. If there is any part of apparel that a woman takes more time selecting it is the bra. There are so many aspects of that piece of clothing that there is little chance of a quick selection. You have to remember that woman think of shopping as an enjoyable experince while men consider it a chore.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I wouldn't change a thing. Good story.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep sharing your stories with us.

dblameck
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981
981
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
While I have looked at the list many times in the past I have never commented on it. Today I was looking for a word to use other than thrust to express the action yet not over use that particular word. I have my normal Webster's thesaurus but this is more beneficial for me when I am writing erotica.

So I guess I want to say thank you.


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982
982
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Just a quick correction. If should be romance
983
983
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)

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Review of Cape Cod Morning 1950

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A sad yet hopeful little story. Many people have a window like that one. It looks out on their very soul. A window of love, of hope, of connection for a family member. You tied the story together very nicely.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Patty and William are the main character and the story did a good job in providing the descriptions that were necessary for the story. While the parents are mentioned in the story they provide no beneficial aspect to the plot. William goes to fight in World War 2 and is a fatal casulaty of that conflict.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I found no grammatical or spelling errors in this story.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

A bit of a tear jerker of a story but I must say that I enjoyed it.

dblameck
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984
984
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Why did you close it with so few votes? I would think you would get a better and more accurate reading with more votes.
985
985
Review of No Storm Warning  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)

Review of No Storm Warning

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A woman tying the idea of a sudden storm into her boyfriend leaving her for another woman. The story draws some good connections and I found it a joy to read. Sometimes what seems to be perfect weather can provide the worse storms of our lives as it did in this poem.

RYTHMN & FLOW:

The feeling are tied to a storm. The fear and expressions of a sudden storm match well with the feeling the woman feels about her lover leaving her. The ryhming sceme in the four verses is A B C B. The poem has a good feel when read aloud dramatically.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I saw no flaws in this poem at all.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing good pieces like this one.

dblameck
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986
986
Review of bloodless  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of Bloodless

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A poem about the crucifixtion of Christ. There are ten verses of four lines each. It seems to be a valid description of events on that horrible day.

RYTHMN & FLOW:

The last word in the second line of each verse is "upon". The poem is most effective when it is read aloud.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I would prefer if there was some puncuation.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and enjoy your anniversary.

dblameck
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987
987
Review of Dawn  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of Dawn

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A poem about a person about to be executed by having his head cut off with an axe. We find that it is only a dream but a dream of prophecy because he is waiting in his celll for that execution. It is a good poem and has a sense of emotion that seems to build.

RYTHMN & FLOW:

The poem is free verse and has a nice rythm. The last line is short and stacco "You're dying today". This is particularly haunting aspect especially when the poem is read aloud.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Keep doing what you have been doing. This poem is very good.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Your poem is good. Write more and enjoy your anniversary.

dblameck
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988
988
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of The Tightrope, the Teacup, the Line of Cocaine

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS
:
Three things and the question as to which type of life is the most fragile. My response is that they are basicaly all the same.All are precarious things and situations which could result in disaster.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

There are no characters. There really is no plot either.Just the question as what type of character are we? Hopefully we are stronger and wiser that three suggested.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Expand the story and give us a little more thought and not just a bunch of questions.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and have a happy anniversary.

dblameck
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989
989
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.



It was not a bad puzzel. I enjoyed taking a few moments to try it out. Especially since everything had to do with summer. Keep up the good work and enjoy your anniversay.
990
990
Review of Pie-Ala Peach  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Review of Pie-ala Peach

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

An interesting poem about pies. There are so many and the poem mentions a couple different apple types, blueberry, cherry and eventually peach.The humour of the poem is good.

RYTHMN & FLOW: Six verses with a rhyming scheme of A A B B.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I have no suggestions other than to ask you to keep sharing your writing with us.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep up the good work.

dblameck
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991
991
Review of A Child's View  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*




Review of A Child's View

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A cute story how things we say to children are sometimes taken into a very different context. This little story brought a smile to my face and will never see the TMNT again with out thinking of the turtle ditch monster.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

A retelling of a simple incident.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Perhaps you could share some other anedotes.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and enjoy your anniversary.

dblameck
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992
992
Review of Little Tom  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*




Review of Little Tom

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Not being English or even living in Europe, I was unaware that the Guernsey tomato was a mainstay of the island's economy from Victorian times to the 1970s and renowned throughout Europe for its quality and flavour. The tom here obviously is a stuffed tomatoe. A toy for a child. It is bought and boxed and given as a birthday gift to a child.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The story personifies the stuffed toy and his experiences in the shop and finally in the hands of Sarah.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

It is an interesting little story and might be of use for reading to children.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep up the good work. Continue writing and enjoy your anniversary.

dblameck
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993
993
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Review of An Ice-Cream Story

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

The story about Rose easting ice cream makes sense. The excerpts from what she is watching do not make sense to me. I guess it is a commentary on the type of television that is produced today.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

There does not seem to be a real plot and Rose is not well described except that she likes ice cream.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Give us something to work with.other than scraps of fictious soap operas which do not match.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I was hoping for somthing a little stronger.

dblameck
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994
994
Review of Hit the Road Jack  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Review of Hit the Road Jack

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

An interesting short episode where the dialogue is very reminisent of a song.from years gone by, The song title is the same title as the story, An argument between two older people about wealth and I guess support is overheard by a young man hidden behind a pild of hay..

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The character are well defines without having to give their physical attributes becasue the young man cannot see them as he is hidden behing the hay. Following the layout of the sone that man has to leave because he cannot provife what the woman wants.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Expand the story. Give us some new ideas. I am sure you can do it.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing. I enjoyed the story.

dblameck
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995
995
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Review of Need to Please

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

An experiential story detailing some of the erotic actions that the writer likes to engage in, Great descriptions and I enjoyed the detail. The story is written in the mode of sharing the experiences she has had. Well done.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Only one unnamed character who details her sexual preferences. The quality of the writing is very good.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I did not see any grammatical or spelling errors.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

share more, I particularly liked the detail around her practice of waking her lover.

dblameck
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996
996
Review of The Tough Choices  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Review of The Tough Choices

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Bob the CIA agent and an impressive list of things he has been involved in. I was not impressed but I was probably a little disturbed by the pattern of comments that did not seem connected. The fact that he was mentioning names form history including presidents and assasins.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

If the CIA has characters life Bob then they are in trouble.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

There were quite a few spelling mistakes " beaf, comfiscated, rifels, foriegn, invassion, alian, breader." Please use a spell check program. Note I did not pick them all out.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing. I feel this story could use more work.

dblameck
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997
997
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Review of Consequential Dreams

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Alice seems to have some pretty strange dreams. She seems to be doing violent things while she is asleep. The things that are happening do not seem to have an actual interaction.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Alice is sleeping and perhaps dreaming these things. The character needs a little more work.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Flash fiction is like throwing out ideas. The problem is we do not carry the ideas forward. I hope you bring this story to more.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing.

dblameck
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998
998
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.0)

Review of Petila In the City

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Well I am not sure where you plan to take this story but you have tried to develop two characters.They are very different but that is far as I can tell from this point.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Two characters one is a flower petal and the other a fern. I know this is very simplistic but this is how it seems to me. How these characters will react with each other is an interesting thought.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

We ned to have an expansion of the characters and their relationship to one another.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Show as more. Keep writing.

dblameck
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999
999
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)

Review of Lit My Blood to Run

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A good poem even if I don't understand how the word lit fits in. In my dictionary lit means light thereby i used that definition in my reading of this poem. If I am wrong please correct me. As I read the poem I had a sense of anger or pain. It created quite an emotion in me when I read it aloud.

RYTHMN & FLOW:

While it is free verse poem it still has a very good flow. There is of course no rhyming scheme. It has a pace that seems to me have a real motion similiar to anger.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

A good poem and I particularly like the emotion you write about.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing.

dblameck
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1000
1000
Review of Calming Desire  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)

Review of Calming Desire

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

I am not quite sure what the theme of the poem is, I think it is about feeling good by doing. good. While it is poetic I am sure the message is getting out. Short lines like this poem only capture brief thoughts.

RYTHMN & FLOW:

There are six verses with the rhyming scheme of A B A B. It does flow ell and has good pace when read aloud.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Make your point clear.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing I will be looking to see what else you write.

dblameck
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