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Review of Final Goodbye  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)



Review of Final Goodbye

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

I shouldn't have read this story. However I am not sorry that I did The story is wonderful but the emotions it created in me caused my eyes to water with tears. The story is strong and romantic while it is still a sad ending.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

You have crafted strong characters which makes the reader very appreciative of their feeling and emotions. I am appreciate the efforts you made in this area.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Thank you for the font.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Excellent story.



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Review of Catching Air  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)



Review of Catching Air

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

This is exactly my feelings about coasters. I wouldn't ride for anything. This is a cute and interesting idea to the coaster argument.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The narrator and his friend Marty go on a coaster ride at Marty's insistence. The narrator is scared and something happens and Marty is thrown out of the coaster.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Perfect the way it is.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep up the good work.



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Review of Rewind  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)



Review of Rewind

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A sensitive short story which talks about death and the memories the main character has of important aspects in his life.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Death is one of the characters and he is sad because he cannot experience the moments that the old men does. The wife of the old man is a key character and the comment she makes about their time at the movie. That cheered my heart. So realistic.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I enjoyed the font and the fact your story talks about seeing things in black and white.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Good writing. Please continue to share.



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Review of Never Forgetting  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)


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Review of Never Forgetting

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Returning to the one you love is never easy and particularly when death is the reason for returning.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

A man return to Brockville to go to the grave of the girl he loved. A well written story.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

You don't need to change a thing.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

keep writing and enjoy your WDC anniversary.



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Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: ASR | (3.5)


Review of A Clown in Disguise

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Hiding in the wide open. There are many people who hide their true selves from the world.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Simple free verse poem stating the fear of letting people see his true self.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Write a longer poem.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing.



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Review of the black bird  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)


Review of The Black Bird

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

I guess the black bird represents something but I can't figure it out.. The poem is free verse and therefore does not rhyme except for lines one and three.

FLOW & RYTHMN:

The short lines and longer lines sort of make the poem a little abrupt and not flowing. You could turn lines 4,5 and 6 to each be two lines.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

should be black bird's dream in line one and three.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing. Good work.



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Review of A Mother's Drive  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)


Review of A Mother's Drive

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Mother always has the control. They do everything they can for their children and their aspirations.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:
The mother is the character and I feel like the children are the plot. Of course they are the reason the mother does what she does. She cares and supports them.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Larger font for better readability?

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Are you getting ready for Mother's Day?



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Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)


Review of The Cost of Living

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

You should write more vampire stories because you did a very good job on this one.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Jacob is attempting to get away from Martin who is the vampire. It is a few minutes before dawn and Jacob must keep the vampire our for just a few more minutes. The action described is exceptionally good. The characters are also well defined.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Continue writing.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing. I enjoyed this story.



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Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)


Review of When Everything is Gone

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A person about to commit suicide by jumping off a bridge with a weight tied to rope around his neck.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The man standing and waiting to kill himself.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Good coverage of the emotions and thoughts of the man preparing to kill himself.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep up the good work.



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Review of Grin  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)



Review of Grin

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

The story of a cursed forest and the destruction of those who enter it. They should put a sign up that says no admittance.. People enter the forest for many reasons and many of them are selfish. Many do no come out and those who do are somehow is so bad shape they do not exist much longer.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

A series of episodes of different people challenging the forest and the plight of those who do. The story moves along and the descriptions are good.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

A larger font will make the story more readable.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Good story even if it has no final conclusion.



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Review of A Dreamer's Web  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)



Review of A Dreamer's Web

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions. I will not comment on the elements of poetry because that is not my experience. I will comment on the emotion and feeling I get from the poem.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

As I read this poem I envisioned a forest stream in the autumn of the year. there is life abounding all around this stream and I almost hear the giggle of children as they frolick.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Each verse has its own supply of characters and opens fresh ideas. I read the poem aloud trying see if thesound of the stream was in the words but that I could not find. The pictures are definitely vivid.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Keep writing. This is very good.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx



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Review of The Reason  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)



Review of The Reason

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A series of questions that look toward a possible answer for an eternal question. What if any are his responsibilities. Perhaps there are too many questions and too few answers.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

A question from me is who is he and she? There does not seem to be an answer to that question.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Presentation. You have written a good piece. But you have lumped it into one long paragraph using a small font. Take a book or any type and look at a page. Compare it to your presentation. You want to get your material read. To do that you must make it easy for the reader.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

some thought provoking things in this passage. Write more.



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Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)


Review of Candy's Last Trick

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Eaten alive by rats. That certainly rates as horror. Flash fiction tale with a quick bite of terror.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Candy is obvious a hooker who should have picked a better place to take her "John" I think you could make more of the description of Candy. She is just wearing a thong. Her appearance could be commented on. Is she a teen hooker or an older lady of the street.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

One or two rats would probably bring down a person. Tell us about this frenzy of rats who did this.

{c:plum{INAL THOUGHTS:

Let's hear more.



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Review of Morley Rising  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)


Review of Morley Rising

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

As many horror stories seem to do there is a bit of confusion as to what is real and what is dreams this all seems to work out with explanation by the man in the morgue.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The characters are sketched without giving away the final outcome. We are left waiting for more details. The info you give starts to be made more complete with the detailed ending. There is something left with the laugh happening as the body is moved in the morgue. Another twist happens as Charles sits up again.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Loose ends need to be tidies up a bit.

{c:plum{INAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing horror stories.



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Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)



Review of Friday Night Happy Hour

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A man goes to the bar on a Friday night after work. He meets up with a girl..

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

he meets a girl and they retreat to a quiet booth but at that point she changes into a predator.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Some of the sentences seem a little rough xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

FINAL THOUGHTS:

keep writing.



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Review of Cosmos  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)




Review of Cosmos

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

I have trouble deciding where to eat now. Cosmos is overwhelming. This is an interesting viewpoint of the sci/fi possibilities for the future. I enjoyed how you incorporated many changes. I don't think I could exist in a place where people don't eat but only take pills.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Good characters and you slowly released information which was fitting and natural. You left room for the fact that culture may be different.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No problems but I would like to explore this world more.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing.



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Review of Dark Nights  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)



Review of 4/18/15

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

The pain may not go away. The cuts will heal on arms and legs. They do heal as well in our minds. However we are not, I repeat not beyond repair.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The words point me to times when I could barely manage. Your words brought so many things back to mind.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

if you are having problems don't stop writing but also seek help. Email me if you wish.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing. At WDC we are all in need of great writing.



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Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)



Review of My Hypocrisy

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Thought of modern man. We want peace and we will kill to get it. Change the world not with fairy tales but rather with conflict.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

As the story says "I am the cause of the tornadoes that unwind" Looking at the world and knowing we want to change the world but not too much because we are the causes for what is. If i have read this wrong then please tell me your true message.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Well done. I have many of these same thoughts.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing.



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Review of Moonrise  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)



Review of Moonrise

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

The moon only comes into effect in the first sentence. Much of the story is spent describing mermaids but I am more confused than before. You talk about fins and also legs.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

You don't give us a name for the mermaid nor explain why you call her a super. When you describing things that we do not seem normal to us you need to be more exacting.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Who is Delores? Who is Serena?

While this font is the one that WDC provides it is quite small. Think of the size you would see on a published page.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing.



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Review of The Premonition  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)



Review of The Premonition..

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Story of a man who has a premonition of losing a hand and foot via a strange nightmare. The descriptions are well done but I don't really think they are beneficial to the story.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Joe has a weird dream about losing a hand and a foot. He then goes out to cut the grass in the rain. He does other dumb things like sticking his hand under the mower. This is not premonition this is stupidity.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Premonition or not. you do not cut your grass when it is raining,

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing. The descriptive passages were good.



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Review of Happy Accidents  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)


Review of Happy Accidents

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

I t seems that this was no accident. It is an interesting story that at this time brought teas to my eyes. I guess that means that I enjoyed it.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

A man finds a checkbook and then is connected to a woman that his dead wife chose for him. I guess this type of transcendental matchmaking occurs in some places. I am not sure I would want my ex deciding on my nest relationship.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

The story was Ok and the man had money and position to spend the time dealing with this idea.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

keep writing and sharing your ideas.



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Review of Be My Eyes  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)


Review of Be My Eyes

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

What does it mean to ache for someone. Or to even starve for a vision of a loved one. You have attempted to convey that information in this poem.

FLOW & RYTHMN:

Free verse poetry with many visual images. Short sentences give an sense of immediacy

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Write more.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I enjoyed this portion.

Do I weave my tapestry of fantasy,
black peeled away by light?
Be my eyes tonight.



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648
648
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)


Review of The Long and Winding Road

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A very interesting story of the journey of one's grandparents to America. I wish I knew more about the journey of my ancestors who struggled to come to America a generation before your grandparents.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

It was a time that seemed so long ago but so much opportunity for these hard working people.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Write more of this kind of story of true love.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Thank you for sharing.



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649
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)


Review of A Gentle Walk Within

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

An interesting concept. In order to walk with in you need to open some windows and doors to let the light in so we can explore with leisure. You give a full marathon of experience in your suggestions. I might note it is sometimes a valid aspect to just go into one room and see what happens there.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

I am bi-polar. In order for me to exist I have to venture on these walks on a pretty regular basis. Believe me when I tell you that sometimes these little traverses can be extremely scary They are however necessary and even mandatory at some times.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Share more

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I enjoyed this article.



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650
650
Review of Heart's Leap  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)


Review of Heart's Leap

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

I have read your article on the heart and I agree with much that you have said but when you started to write about the heart controlling the emotions i take the opportunity to disagree with your comments. God in his infinite wisdom gave mankind two tools that work so well with the human body. The heart is the power plant that allows us to continue to physically function. The brain is responsible for reason and emotion. The two work in tangent. Both are necessary for our survival as we know it.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

i have had heart problems and thankfully a quadruple bypass has enable me to be here reviewing this article. I am aware of the importance of the heart.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Better spacing would make your article easier to read.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing.



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