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3,599 Public Reviews Given
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Review of Mistake  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)


Review of Mistake

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Good story and a nice twist at the end. It is a complete story with a good story line

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

I could feel myself in the red dust where the men are fighting.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No suggestions.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and sharing.


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602
602
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)



Review of Beneath the Black, the Sky is Pale

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Dealing with the difficulty of life is what I get from reading this essay.If your meaning is elsewhere just drop me a note to direct me.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The character is me and the character is you existing in this world beneath the black yet pale sky. We each individually share our existence and our efforts to survive.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Should be snapping at my heels not heals.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I am always pleased to read your material.


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603
603
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)



Review of Where is my Teddy Bear

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A short about a child thinking there is something, maybe a monster, in the closet.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The person in the bed is scared of what might be in the closet but then finds out it is only a little brother looking for his teddy bear.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

You wrote Sayed and it should be said
disappear and it should be disappeared
You should use quotation marks to designate dialogue.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Good start. Write more.


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604
604
Review of The Condition  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)



Review of The Condition

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

It may be satire but some of it is true. I know people who I use to think of as friends but do not want to be around me because of my constant writing. I take out my notebook and just scribble down a word or two and I can see the mistrust in their eyes. Writing is an addiction. people become afraid of what I might be writing.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

I really enjoyed your satire and will keep in mind the twelve step program for the future.


SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Write more and continue to express your warped viewpoint on writing LOL.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Thank you for sharing this story.


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605
605
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.0)



Review of My Story (The Beginning)

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Unsure why we need all this information. Much of the information does not seem important to the point you finally get to.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Unsure of the plot. So far what is written does not make me want to read more. Capture your audience at the start.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

You start many sentence with I.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I tink you could cut this down and be more direct.


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606
606
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)



Review of The Days We Won't Complete

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

This probably is a very good story However it just seems to run on and on. There is a lot of good material here.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The story about buying the dress and getting into the fight with the gangs was interesting but needed to be divided to make it effective.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Your story is extremely hard to read. Use a larger font for readability. Think of a page in a book and note the amount of white space. Try to duplicate that. Divide the story into rational paragraphs rather than running one thought into another. There are also too many I statements.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Edit this story to improvement readability and you will increase the scoring.


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607
607
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)



Review of Equal Pay for Woman

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

I do not disagree with the premise of equal pay for equal work. I think that should even be broadened. A waiter or waitress in the south should be paid the same as one in the north east. At this moment this is not so. Any type of financial discrimination is wrong.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Women have been battling this for years and are closer today but still have a ways to go.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I agree that more needs to be done to improve this situation.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep fighting for what you believe. There should be no discrimination by race, sex, age or any other way.


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608
608
Review of Fishes!  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)



Review of Fishes!

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Fifteen lines of free verse poetry divided into five verses.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

It deals with a captured fish probably a clown fish from the colouring described. a small fish usually found swimming in coral areas.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Write more.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Share your thoughts.


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609
609
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (1.0)
There is nothing there to review.


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610
610
Review of The Army of Me  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)



Review of The Army of Me

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

My friend I cannot accept your thinking in this poem. I have seen war. I have seen the vicious way man fights and kills his fellow man. There are those who are unaffected by the killing and the dying. We must stand responsible for our acts, ours words and our thoughts. I know from your other writings that this is not the pattern of your life.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The image of one who exists only to kill seems to be the feeling that is portrayed in this selection. Until you have looked into an open grave of three hundred or more people you do not know what that means.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Keep writing for I usually enjoy your poems. Not so much this one. Too close to home.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

You always make me think. Somedays that thinking brings tears to me heart.


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611
611
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.0)



Review of My Grandmother's Comb

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions. This is a random review.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

The story has some grammatical errors. This makes it a little difficult to read.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Tiffany is told by her mother to wear an antique comb on her great grandmother's She loses it. Her friend Chito finds it.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

every early in the morning (perhaps add day between every and early)
still insists me to wear it ( I instead of me)
Don't start sentences with and.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Most writers rewrite a story many times before it is ready to be read.


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612
612
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)


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Review of Clickin' Addiction

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

An interesting poem that deals with the fact the computer can easily take all of our time while we are really accomplishing very little. I saw myself in the verses written here.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

There are six four line verses with a rhyming scheme of A B C B. the plot is the various things you look at take away your time for working and can be detrimental.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No suggestions at this time.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and please enjoy your WDC anniversary.


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613
613
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.0)



Review of the Crazy Cat Girl

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

You write to tell your readers something. What is it you want to tell us. We are patient stretch your mind and find the words.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Two characters and no real plot. Spend a few moments and tell us about your characters. It may help you create a plot.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Instead of using commas. Use a period. make them short definite sentences.
You need some time of conclusion. What do you want to say?

FINAL THOUGHTS:

A start. Now start again and do it better. I know you can.


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614
614
Review of Weary Pen  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)



Review of Weary Pen

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions. Selected on read and review.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Reading this story or poem I didn't think I would ever hear you saying that you are tired of writing. I can say that because i have many of your writings.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

As with most of your work it has a tendency to cause people to spend some time and think. I guess the truth of the matter is only in the very last line "I have only just begun..." I of course am glad that you are going to continue to write because I enjoy your thoughts.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

My only suggestion is the same as usual that you continue to share with all of us on WDC.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing.


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615
615
Review of Loneliness  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)



Review of Loneliness

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

The plaintive cry. I am alone. Then you ask a further question. Why am I alone? What can i do to change this.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

We are never actually alone. I believe in a greater power who is there for. However my experience that even when we want to be alone then there is always someone there. I thought your ideas are very good.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No suggestions at this time.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and sharing on WDC.


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616
616
Review of In a Fog  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)



Review of In a Fog

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Living life in a fog can be devastating I presume your words in this piece are referring to that. The feeling of hopelessness fills the entire piece.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The entire piece you are singular in your fears.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No suggetions.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and sharing on WDC.


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617
617
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)



Review of Bowling : Never Want to Strike a Lot

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A poem which attempts to give some light to the scoring in the game of bowling where thirteen consectative strikes is a perfect game or a score of 300 It does not happen very often.

FLOW & RHYMING:

There are four verses of six lines. There are three rhyming couplets in each verse.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I guess this poem is trying to impress people to play the game.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

This poem does not make me want to go bowling.


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618
618
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)



Review of A Matter of Honesty

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions. I selected your story with the random reviewer.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

In the beginning when you talked about dimes in the coin box of the telephone booth I thought this had to be a rather old story. As a matter of fact it is next to impossible to even find a phone booth any more. It is a good story and a good lesson.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

A man and a son and finding money that isn't theirs. They turn it in and this teaches the son a lesson.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No suggestions for improvement.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing.


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619
619
Review of Cowgirl boots  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)



Review of Cowgirl Boots

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Great poem. I really enjoyed it. I could envision the wild cowgirl and the other character stripping and having sex.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The cowgirl of course is main character and all emphasis is put on her.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Give us more.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Thoroughly enjoyable poem.


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620
620
Review of By the sea  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)



Review of By the Sea

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Sounds like a sea shanty to me. I can hear the male voices singing and the chandilers swinging as the waves roll the vessel.

FLOW & RHYMING:

A splendid poem I can feel the roll of the sea in the words you have used.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

None

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing.


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621
621
Review of Thumbs Malone  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)



Review of Thumbs Malone

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Warning See what excessive video game playing can do. Great flash fiction/ A complete story in such a short number of words.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Watching a man in a padded cell. He is there from playing too many video games.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Keep writing.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Well done


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622
622
Review of The Boat Story  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)



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Review of The Boat Story

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A woman retells her experiences of owning a boat the problems that went with loading and unloading it.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The intention is not humorous but does make a person smile with the recounting of the tale.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No suggestions.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Please enjoy your WDC anniversary and keep writing.


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623
623
Review of Fallout  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)



(image:1585921}

Review of Fallout

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

a couple's relationship is over due to infidelity by the husband. The story details the final aspect of him leaving.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The characters are unnamed. She has known of his infidelity but he is the one who has decided to leave. Well written episode.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

None

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Please enjoy your WDC anniversary and write more.


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624
624
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)



Review of The Dawning of World Peace

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

The new day hopefully is coming. Your poem is meant to give hope for mankind. My hope is with your poem.

FLOW & RHYMING:

Your free form poem reads well particularly when read aloud. Short distinct phrases aid the feeling that we are on the verge of change.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No suggestions other than to request you continue writing.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing.


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625
625
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)



Review of Pretend You Enjoy It

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Interesting advise to a bride. It does have a ring of truth within it. However it is always better if the partner knows you are going that extra mile to appreciate someone else's feelings and interest.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Alice is a very strong character and i appreciate the efforts she has made .

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

he ask me should be asked, This occurs twice. Once in the first paragraph and again in the third.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Good story. Well done.


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