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501
501
Review of Busted  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)




*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of Busted

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Good story about a couple having discussions over an encounter with the law. The man gets arrested and has to call his pregnant wife at 1:00 am to get him released. Well not a comical situation it does create a bit of a smile.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The story is told from the woman's point of view and much of the information is disclosed via dialogue with her husband. It seems that he has not been forth coming with all the information.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No suggestions.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Please have a great as it is your WDC anniversary.


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502
502
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)



*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of Horror not Horrific

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A great review of a book but the problem with the review it is hard to compare any writing to that of R.L. Stine. There are just some authors who are a cut above the rest. I found it interesting that I selected this review when the movie version of Goosebumps in now showing.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

A good review.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

None.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

have a great WDC anniversary.


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503
503
Review of My Prison  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)



Review of The Room

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A man is arrested by someone who is not identified and then held a prisone in a room the size of a closet.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The story is too implausible. Character is bound in cuffs in an extremely small room and fed the same meal three times a day.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Use a larger font and better spacing to ease readability. You wrote shackled feet yet walked through the halls.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

It needs some work.


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504
504
Review of Beautiful Bella  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)



Review of Beautiful Bella

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A children's story about a butterfly family who moves from the city to the country. Bella has to change schools and therefore is a little nervous.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Bella and her mother and Mrs Crumb her teacher are the main characters but there are a couple others. They are well presented.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No suggestions.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Generally I thought it was a good children's story with a lesson attached.


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505
505
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)



Review of Music for a Desert Island

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

This is not the novel but actually an overview of the novel and of the author. While not quite a review of the novel it is an interesting read and might attract people who are particularly into rock and roll music of this era.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Better to read the description because I have not read the novel.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No suggestions since this is a publishing blurb to attract readers.



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506
506
Review of Princess Phoebe  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)



Review of Princess Phoebe

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

An eight line poem about a princess selecting a most perfect dress.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

An interesting poem for children and then printing it in pink is so appropriate.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

None

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and sharing.


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507
507
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)



Review of Poetic Nonsense.

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Well I guess you have a different dictionary from me. it does help sometimes to just quickly dash out words and not care about grammar or spelling or a different idea changing the plot or concept. However this goes beyond that.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

No real plot or characters. You can make of it what you want.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I would say it needs work. Like abstract painting it needs something to define it.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing.


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508
508
Review of Switch~A~Roo Zoo  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)



Review of Switch-A-Roo Zoo

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

An interesting little poem where the animals seem to have their body parts mixed up. We fid in the end that it is only a dream because the child is dreaming of going to the zoo.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The changes in animals parts and attitudes is well thought out. Simple rhyme pattern.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

None

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Thank you for sharing.


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509
509
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)



Review of Forever Again - Chapter One

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Sixty old woman is brought to an all-male revue at a strip club by her two young nieces to celebrate her birthday.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The plot is straight forward and the character development is well done. since this is an erotic story I would have liked to get a more physical description of Lilly and of what she might be wearing.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

The mussels were moving to the beat of the music. I don't think the shellfish were dancing.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I will randomly select another chapter also. Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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510
510
Review of Comforting Tweet  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)




*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of Comforting Tweet

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

The young lady sends a tweet and gets a response from one of her favourite singers who has recently died. It was obviously an automatic response from an account that had not been closed.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

An interesting situation.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

no suggestions.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

The real reason for this review is to wish you a great WDC anniversary.


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511
511
Review of Heavens Stairs  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)



Review of Heavens Stairs

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A twelve line poem about what heaven might be like. It seems there are not a lot of people there and it is cool.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Only one character referred to.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Expand your thoughts.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Thanks for sharing.


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512
512
Review of 18 and Alone!  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)



*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of 18 and Alone

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Trying to find a birth mother, a man hires a PI to find a man and number. He gets the information but does not follow through.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

A question in the end. Is Mrs. Anders the next door neighbour has real mother?

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No suggestions.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

keep writing anf please enjoy your WDC anniversary.


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513
513
Review of Multitasking  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)



*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of Multitasking

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Today we have to talk over the computer and game system. Sometimes some things are more important. Listening and communicating without an iphone is a task that people need to relearn.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Jet is the boy playing the game. Max is the girl trying to talk to him. He is willing to talk if it leads to sex.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No suggestions.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and please enjoy your WDC anniversary.


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514
514
Review of Grocery Shopping  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)



*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of Grocery Shopping

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

It seems that the cats and dogs are more important than the people in this household.Easy to grab food for people but not so easy for a cat or dog.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

A comedic look at selecting cat and dog food.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I understand your difficulty.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and please enjoy your WDC anniversary.


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515
515
Review of Book Rage  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)



Review of Book Rage

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A reader is voicing his displeasure with reading a book that is poorly organized and leaves the reader with not understanding the story. This has happened to me and it is very disturbing.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Venting his anger would be one way of dealing with this. His method was toss and book in the garbage.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No suggestions.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Be careful what you read.


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516
516
Review of Gemini surprised  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)



Review of Gemini Surprised

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions. This story was selected via the read and review option.

GENERAL IMPRESSIONS:

Angela is surprised that someone knows it is her birthday. It is obviously a shell of a story to use some particular words for a contest.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The character seems moderately described and given some purpose for the story.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No suggestions.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing.


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517
517
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)



Review of Battle of the PieRats

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A battle between the seaguls defending the beach and rats attacking from a boat called the Seabuffalo over the food on the beach as well as a blueberry pie. However the weather turns a hurricane causes the battle to end.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Interesting idea. The action is well written.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No suggestions.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Thank you for sharing.


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518
518
Review of Untitled3  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)



Review of Untitled3

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Some of the words or phases do not make sense to me "extra wheat" perhaps extra wait.hard to follow everything but I think you are telling a cheating other that you still love them.


SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

An old piece. Then take it out and rework it.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep sharing.


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519
519
Review of A Single Tear  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)



*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*



Review of A Single Tear

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

I can't image a single tear after reading this story. Eyes are flooded with tears of emotions. This is well written and I did enjoy it.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The characters are of course already known to us. You have brought new facet to their images in my mind. Well done.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

"Mr. Blythe had stood to say goodbye to his son, but Anne wasn't really lisening" listening

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Thank you for writing this piece. May you enjoy your WDC anniversary.


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520
520
Review of Tap Tap  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)




*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of Tap Tap

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

This is a very well executed character descriptive passage. While it does not tell a story it gives an opening to make the reader wonder about the old man.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Low on plot but very strong on character development. I wish the writer had continued to explore the thinking of the old man.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Expand the story.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

write more and have a great WDC anniversary.


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521
521
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)


Review of XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Great descriptive piece but I was trying to look for meaning as to gauge some form of understanding and I came up lacking any. Is this a recollection of an actual event. I need more than sunset images and the possibility of good music.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

An event of a legless black man playing a trumpet in such a way that all stop and listen until he is done.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I need more.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Share your prompt to write this piece.


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522
522
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)


Review of The Christmas Longing

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

An interesting story about finding Christmas. an alien tries to experience Christmas and can't quite get it right. He is left on earth for five years but eventually his own race comes back for him and they share a Christmas celebration. The alien John then disappears

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

john the main character is actually a alien trying to find the meaning of Christmas. From his responses I think he has.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

call the police than should be then
hanging donation pale should be pail

FINAL THOUGHTS:

keep writing.


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523
523
Review of Al-Ma'arri  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)


Review of Al-Ma'arri

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

As an overview I Looked up Al-m'arri. I could only find this reference, "Ali Saleh Kahlah al-Marri is a citizen of Qatar who was sentenced to serve a 15-year sentence in a United States federal prison, with credit for the nearly eight years he was held in detention without charges" Do I have the wrong information? This does not sound like the person you refer to in this poem.

{
SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Direct me if you can.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

There seems to be a misunderstanding perhaps on my part.


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524
524
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: ASR | (3.5)


Review of Protagonist Profile: Jillian Peters

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A straight forward synopsis of your character. I note you do not deal with physical characteristics. Is there a reason for this.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

This is all about character and what will probably her motivation within your novel. I found the characters early life and education to be well described. I wonder if this is the most important element of your novel?

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I know this is just prep work that will never see paper but I noted this "would spen the next"

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Looks like a good start to me.


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525
525
Review of Sleepless  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: ASR | (3.5)



Review of Sleeplessness

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

This is almost a scene from Romeo and Juliett. Two lovers lying together and dying.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Characters are unnamed and it seems that she could already be dead. There is no evidence of what caused this rather than the blood. It needs more work to make it interesting.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Expand the story. This is of course and end but also the beginning. Let the story unfold.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing.


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