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526
526
Review of Thirteen Strikes  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)



Review of Thirteen Strikes

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A spooky story about a clock that saves a person from misfortunate for most of the year but once a year some terrible things happen. We are not advised of what those things are.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

I found it to be well told and easy to follow. The one character is well defined and likeable.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

None

FINAL THOUGHTS:

i enjoyed this short tale.


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527
527
Review of Apple of My Eye  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)



Review of Apple of my Eye

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

My first instinct was to tell this person to get a life. In today's society the iphone really being a prize possession and obsession.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

A little twist. You set us up to see a relationship with an important person and then we get the little device you carry with you.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No suggestions.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

You brought a smile to my face.


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528
528
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)



Review of The Senses of Love

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A six line free form poem with the first five lines dealing with six different action words. (Tastes, feels, breather, looks, smells and sounds).

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

This could be expanded into a longer poem.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and sharing.


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529
529
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)



Review of Do's and Don'ts of First Dates

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Five simple steps for single men dealing with first dates. They seem like a standard set of reasonable rules.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

These steps do not only apply to first dates but are just simple rules that apply for most dating.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

For those who need them I suggest they print off the rules.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Thank you for sharing.


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530
530
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*




Review of Funny How Things Work Out

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A sad satire of the life of a man who once thought he would be a great cricketer. There is some incidental historic information and then a treatise on the fallen morals of a young man in Thailand.


PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The plot seems to follow the decline of one young man from a youth filled with promise to a decant personality traveling from Bangkok back to Manchester.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

at one point you wrote tin instead of in.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and please enjoy your WDC anniversary.


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531
531
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)



Review of XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A short flash fiction story for children about a child wanting to go to the zoo and pet the animals.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Mike wants to go to the zoo to pet the elephant, the tiger and the lion. On arriving at the zoo he finds the animals are too big and two scarry.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

but I sdtopped(stopped) in my tracks--it's teeth wer(were) long and scarry

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Interesting idea and well done.


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532
532
Review of The Cheater  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)



Review of The Cheater

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Lynn discovers an unusual charge from the florists. She checks the cell-phone bills and find a number has been calling a lot. She has to decide what to do.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Lynn gathers the evidence and waits for her husband, John to arrive home so that she can confront him.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No suggestions.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and sharing.


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533
533
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)



Review of Cookie Cutter People

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

yes there is a cookie cutter approach today to many things in learning and dealing with people. Some people actually enjoy this method. (I don't know why). However it is becoming common in our world today for people to demand more. This article does well in it's presentation of that difference.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

There are millions of characters of course involved in this learning and sharing. There is only one premise and that is that people are different and as such require individual teaching.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No suggestions.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Well written.


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534
534
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)



Review of Turn Off Times Into a Good Day

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

An interesting thesis about how the Lord deals his followers and how particularly the process of illnesses like OCD and Bi-Polar disorder. As I have bi-polar disorder and also suffer from some form of OCD from my time in the military (UN peace-keeper in Bosnia).

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

I followed thru your references and agree with your references. Don't think of me as some kind of deviant but I wonder sometimes if Bi-polar is not the way it should be and all these others are really the unusual ones. I read a study from one who suggested that Christ might have been bi-polar. (It makes feel closer to Him).

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

You duplicated this portion "I am having a low and I have distracted thoughts today, however I do not isolate myself and I am active. During this day, I kept my mind occupied by doing the following:"

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Write more. I would read your ideas.


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535
535
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)



Review of Time Keeps a Rollin'

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Great poem. A man has great memories of his life with his wife. It is actually a testimony to the woman that this man had chosen as his spouse.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The plot is just the setting of this man's life and the real character on which his words spotlight is his wife for which he seems so thankful.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No suggestions.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Please write more.


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536
536
Review of First item  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (2.5)



Review of First Item

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Now this has to be the hardest thing to review. Words which are one of the most important tools we have available for us to use. Give me more and I will share what i think.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

My last review was from a writer which made up words that were not really words. Where are we coming from that we do not use the valuable words we do have.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Only a dozen words. I am sure you could do better than that.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

No thoughts.


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537
537
Review of Regret  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)



Review of Regret

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A woman comes to tears after a memory which is sparked by the scene of a family having a picnic in the park. The memory for her is not a happy one but one where she broke up with someone.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Trying to set the scene for a memory but in drawing back to the memory there was confusion in my (the reader) mind about which she you were speaking about.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Sorry but I found the colour distracting.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writn and sharing.


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538
538
Review of The Worst Job  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO WDC SPECIAL REVIEWS *CakeP*



Review of The Worst Job

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Someone is being questioned for involvement in some kind of serious crime. There is not enough detail to get much more than that.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Unnamed charter is questioned by female (police officer)? She releases him without much information.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Flash fiction should tell a complete story not just a scenario or glimpse of the entire story.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Give us a complete story.


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539
539
Review of Circus Life  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO WDC SPECIAL REVIEWS *CakeP*



Review of Circus Life

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

It seems that in the future there are no real animals in a circus. They are limited to artificial and mechanical animals. It seems that PETA complained about using animals in the circus.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Wendy cleaning out a desk find at old notice about PETA complaining about the use of animals being used in the circus. The article is dated 2041.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Good futuristic story. I am glad that poker hasn't gone out of style.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and sharing your ideas.


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540
540
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)

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Review of Thoughts about Marching Band

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

An entry about a tuba player who enjoyed this year (2007) in his marching band. There is some humour and a little background. I enjoyed reading this piece.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Playing an instrument and marching is not easy. I have been a member of a military band and they don't do all those intricate moves like this band.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No suggestions

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Enjoy tour WDC anniversary.


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541
541
Review of a girl shrunken  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)

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Review of A girl Shrunken

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

It is always nice to see an interactive fiction that is successful. This is not a fetish that I would entertain but after reading several of the chapters I can see you have created a place for many people to interact together.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Perhaps you should put out and publish a cook book. The chapters seem to generally follow the basic premise of the story.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No suggestions.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

The real reason for this review is to wish you a happy WDC anniversary.


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542
542
Review of "****"  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

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Review of "****"

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A woman wanting to know what she should feel. I am only guessing that a woman wonders about how society views her. Women's needs are just as important as men's. We live in a world where that is still not fully realized.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

A woman looking for her place and her emotions.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No suggestions.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Have a great WDC anniversary.


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543
543
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO WDC SPECIAL REVIEWS *CakeP*



Review of The Soldier's Eyes

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

I understand that statement exactly because I have seen it on the faces of men I have served with. I have seen it also on the faces of the homeless.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The plot is war and the characters are the survivors.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

You bring Bosnia and Rwanda back to my memory.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Thank you.


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544
544
Review of Swamp Beast  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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Review of Swamp Beast

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

while this interactive is not my cup of tea it has been quite successful in getting many other to contribute; which of course is the aim of this type of fiction. You have contributors who will write long passages and other who just move the story just slightly which I suppose is their own personal opinions or fetishs.


PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Different characters, both human and ogres are created during the interaction in this story. the plot moves in several directions and all this points to a successful interactive.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No suggestions other than perhaps to start a new interactive story.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Most of all I want to wish you a great and awesome WDC anniversary.

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545
545
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
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Review of Jake McDash

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Your interactive didn't quite get off the ground with only seven chapters added and from reading each of them it seemed they might have all been written by you. I think If you lessened the amount to content in each chapter you might get more participation.


PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Your characters are probably too detailed. Give the basics and allow your fellow writers to add.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I would suggest that you try again. This could be a good story line.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I hope you enjoy your WDC anniversary. .

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546
546
Review of Love  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)

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Review of Love

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A poem not about romantic love but rather about the love between man and his god.


PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Three verses with a rhyme pattern of A A B B. The words go well when read aloud.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No suggestions. A simple and direct poem

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Just want to wish you a great WDC anniversary.

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547
547
Review of "Mirage"  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO WDC SPECIAL REVIEWS *CakeP*



Review of Mirage

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

everyone is running from something and the main character does not know what. He finds out later they are running from a ghost.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The main character runs with the rest and then slows down but is able to catch up with the crowd. He then sees something in a girl's frightened eyes. He is the ghost. Well written.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No suggestions.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

A good story and a great surprise ending.


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548
548
Review of They Know!  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO WDC SPECIAL REVIEWS *CakeP*



Review of They Know

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Interesting story that reminded of Lady MacBeth trying to wash the blood off her hands. So much is put into cleaning of the blood I sort of missed what exactly is the cause of the blood.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Mal is obviously the person guilty of some bloody event and is unable in his mind to wash off the blood.Most of this washing seems to take place in church.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Tie in the other part of the story. Mal is dealing with the result of his crime but I am unsure of what the crime is.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and sharing.


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549
549
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO WDC SPECIAL REVIEWS *CakeP*



Review of Lights in the Basement

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

The new neighbours are unusual and the unnamed person as been watching and now feels that he has to check out and find just what is happening. He creeps over and then the problems begin for him. Interesting story and it leaves a lot of space to develop more.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The inquisitive mind wonders about the Brisbee's They are definitely unusual. So our story teller has to sneak over and take a look for himself. That is where he gets in trouble.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No suggestions.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Good story with room for development.


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550
550
Review of Mommy, why...  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO WDC SPECIAL REVIEWS *CakeP*



Review of Mommy Why

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Wow! This is a terrific story. It drags you in. You want to read more and yet you are almost afraid to because you sense there is something to be revealed that you not sure you want to read.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

a woman hears her daughter calling to her. The woman seems normal but as the story advances we begin to read things that cause us to wonder. The story quickly moves to the scary mode.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No suggestions.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing stories like this. I really enjoyed this story.


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