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576
576
Review of Guilt  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)



Review of Guilt

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A good flash fiction story using the the prompt of "I made it myself"

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The plot seems to concentrate on a master builder building a medevil church. Ian the master mason has killed Shawn and now is going to be executed.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No suggestions

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing.


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577
577
Review of The Time Machine  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
[item:1585921}


Review of The Time Machine

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

I guess this is a truely functional time machine.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Julius isn't the real character in this short story. It is the time machine. There is a good description of the machine.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Good story and I liked the ending.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Please enjoy your WDC anniversary.


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578
578
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)


"Anniversary Reviews email siggie" 
Review of Bobo the Clown Taught me to Laugh

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Well this is some kind of different story. Futuristic where no one knows how to laugh a person just coming out of a hospital meets him and only laughs when the clown dies. Strange story.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Bob and the man coming out of the hospital. Descriptions are good if even a bit strange.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

The importance of being able to laugh is the important emphasis of the story.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writin and most of all enjoy your WDC anniversary.


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579
579
Review of Broken Humanity  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)



Review of Broken Humanity

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

This essay hits at the problem that our society has with not accepting all people. A treatise on the need for compssionate caring for all individuals

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

While there are no individual there are a great number people who this essay replies to.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

An extremely small font. What is the purpose of that.
compassion it should be compassionate.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Your last line says it all.


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580
580
Review of Seven Sins : Envy  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)



Review of Seven Sins Envy

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Perhaps this story better belongs in the horror section. I wondered where it was going and how Cassie was going to rectify this last affront. The went beyond my thinking.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Two main characters. Cassie who is bullied by Meredith. Meredith is the top girl and Cassie seems to be a thrift store reject. Meredith is mean and finally Cassie has had enough.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I don't think I can suggest any changes.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Great Twist in the end.


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581
581
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)



Review of The Time Traveller's Tale

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A sales presentation offering trips using a time machine The promotion sounds interesting.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Comments made about it seem to negative and worried about the technology. Machine must be larger than they say if it has four rooms.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

may be (this should be one word)

headquarter (should be headquarters.)

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Nice idea. Good imagination.


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582
582
Review of White Tornadoes  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)



Review of White Tornados

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Two people who are having an affair are at Boston's Logan airport waiting for the male to fly back to his wife. The entire story is told through the conversations of the two people. They are both positive and negative in their thoughts about each other.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

He is Joseph and she is Julia. they are both married to other people. He is a judge and she is a little kinky and likes to wear net stockings. and talk dirty.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Good story/ I think you should expand it.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing.


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583
583
Review of Louis  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM item:anniversary}*CakeP*



Review of Louis

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

a bit of a far out story about a man who has to watch life from his window since he lost both legs in a motorcycle accident. His toothless girl friend visits and they kiss.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Louis and his girl friend Shelia are together and his neighbor Mrs. Fangoli get into an argument and somehow Louis get knifed with Shelia's knife.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I admit I found the story confusing. I think your description are good.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I want to take this moment to wish your a great WDC anniversary.


dblameck

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584
584
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.0)

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Review of Light in the Darkness

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

too many loose ends. Pick one thing and get your readers up to date on that before you move to another part of the story.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Characters need to be made stronger. Perhaps a paragraph explaining who they are.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

You need to decide what story you are telling and just work on that element.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Would like to read more. Please enjoy your WDC anniversary.


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585
585
Review of Dana's Story  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)

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Review of Dana's Story

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Two people who seem to hit it off even if they are very different decide to live together. Eventually Kenny wants Dana to change to what he wants. This doesn't work and Dana moves out.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Dana a creative free spirit and Kenny a conservative banker. Eventually their relationship has too many flaws and they part.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

The flashback of Kenny and her near the end of this episode seems out of place. It could be included in the beginning section.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

A good story. Keep writing and please enjoy your WDC anniversary.


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586
586
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)

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Review of Remember Back When...

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A short little story reminiscing the happening between two people who seemed to have affections for one another while in school. It is a good story and I could identify with many of the things in the story.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The school years were the time when we developed our feeling of romance and attraction. Many of the memories of that time will always be strong in out minds.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I like the story just as it is. Keep writing.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I wish you a Happy WDC Anniversary and continued success with your writing.


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587
587
Review of Tangled Web  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)



Review of Tangled Web

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

a good scifi story. A crew goes on a four year long journey to the nearest star looking for a planet like earth. They find a lot of similaries but things are not what they seem.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Space exploration has its dangers and this story shows. Good characters are developed and they help to move the plot along. There is a great little twist at the end.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No suggestions other than to continue the story.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

A liked the story.


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588
588
Review of Oklahoma Memories  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)



Review of Oklahoma Memories

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A simple flash fiction that occurs on the moon sometime in the future. They are dealing with the same thing as we do today as the mind seems to lose some of its pathways.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

A simple slide show reveals dementia with in this person's aunt.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No suggestions. Perhaps more detail but since it is flash fiction I presume it has a limited word limit.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep sharing.


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589
589
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)



Review of The Things They Abandoned

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A combination of sci/fi and horror in the same story. Humans come across a race of robot like creature which
end up destroying the humans.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:
Exploring ruins of a planet one human Darren Orlov discovers Prospero a creature of another race. the character description is well done and I could follow the plot as the experience deterioated for the humans.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No suggestion.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Write more.


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590
590
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)


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Review of Christmas Family Traditions

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Thanks for the recipes. The sausage bread seems very interesting I will add them to my list of those I want to try.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The fact that your son asked for recipe I found endearing. I spent some holidays away from my family and know what i missed were the simple things that were part of our Christmas traditions.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Keep writing and sharing your ideas with the WDC family.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I want to wish you a productive WDC anniversary.


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591
591
Review of The Fisher's Son  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)



Review of The Fisher's Son

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions. I selected this story from the horror newsletter.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A new neighbour Richard Fisher seems to be a difficult friend for the young girl who lives next door.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

J It seems they ennifer is taught by Richard to use a switch blade or gravity knife. Richard suggests they use the knife on a neighbour's cat.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Good story. I just want more detail. It seems you stopped the story abruptly.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing.


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592
592
Review of Predator  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)



Review of Predator

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions. I selected this story from the horror newsletter.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Who is the predator in this case. Someone is trying to capture a female and when attacking is caught by the prey.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

One predator atttacking the other. I presume these are vampires or something of that nature.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Fill in the details and give us more to work with.


FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and sharing.


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593
593
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)



Review of The Haunted Circus

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions. I am reviewing this story as found in the horror newsletter.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A good story with a very strong descriptive passage. Two people riding one of those midway scarey haunted rides. They are ready for a pretty lame ride because they think the ride is not going to be that good. They are surprised.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Jeff and Emma are in the car and confronted by the clown face. it ends without a conclusion allowing the reader to imagine the worst.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Give us more. I want the rest of the story.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Well done. There is the beginning of horror here. All that and no blood or anyone dying.


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594
594
Review of Soul Kiss  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)



Review of Soul Kiss

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A fourteen line free form poem with a romantic flair.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I read the poem several times and found that it seems a bit abrupt when read aloud. It just didn't flow. I thing part of that is because of the shortness of the statements

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and sharing.


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595
595
Review of The Story of "Is"  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)



Review of The Story of IS

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

This IS enough to stop me from ever using IS again.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

I know the importance of such a great word as "IS"

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Thanks for the grammar lesson

FINAL THOUGHTS:

IS that enough?


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596
596
Review of THE END  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: ASR | (3.5)

This is a Random Review

Review of The End

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

An extremely short poem (35 words counting the title) that speak about the end.of time. Well it hasn't happened yet.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Write more if this is of interest to you.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

more detail would help.


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597
597
Review of Pizza Theory  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)

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Review of Pizza Theory

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

I never knew there was pizza theory. I enjoyed your collection of thought from a pizzaria. From the stretching of the dough to the finished product. Everything about pizza is enjoyable. it is fun. It makes people warm and friendly.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Pizza is the centre of the story but the characters are all around it. Perhaps each is waiting for their piece.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Share more ideas like this.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Enjoy your WDC anniversary. Go get a pizza!


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598
598
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.0)

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Review of Knock Knock, Mr. Fox

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

This story needs some work. There are many twists and turns and some come to dead ends. there is a story here that wants to get out but in is trapped.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Young girl, young man - Use names; at least for your main characters. It also adds realism to your story. The plot is too confusing with all the going and coming for lunch. The stairs and sign portion is just boring and not helpful to the plot.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Spacing could be better. Divide your thought into paragraphs and make them distinctly separate. Compare your writing to what you would find in a book.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I realize this was written quite a while ago. But I see where it could be fixed up. Please enjoy your WDC anniversary.


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599
599
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)

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Review of Flying the Skies on a Swing

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

I thank you for writing this story. Believe it or not it has touched me greatly. I know the pain of losing my mother at an early age and not getting to say good-bye. The way you crafted this last farewell was very moving.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Nikki is swinging and thinking of her mother who has recently passed away. She wishes she could see her one last time. Her wish is granted and she swings in the sky with her mother and remembers all the wonderful things they did.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No suggestions.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I don't think I have to encourage you to keep writing. I hope your WDC anniversary is a great day for you.


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600
600
Review of A bit of fun  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)

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Review of A Bit of Fun

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Well that brought a smile to my face. Female brains are cheaper because they have been used while male's brains had not been used.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Family gathers to hear the bad news. Doctor advises a brain transplant is necessary. This is the setup for the punch line.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Well written Flash Fiction.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and please enjoy your WDC Anniversary.


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