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751
751
Review of Histoy's Lament  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)

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Review of History's Lament

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

It is said if we do not heed history then we are doomed to repeat it. This basically the lament I get from your poem.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

A call to all of us to look backward as well as forward.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Perhaps use a larger font.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and enjoy your WDC anniversary.


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752
752
Review of Light  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)

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Review of Light

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

In genesis the Lord did say "Let there be Light" That was the beginning. Now we know the difference between dark and light.. Your poem helps to promote that.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Use a larger font to make your poem more readable.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Your poem has a nice flow when it is read aloud. Keep writing and please enjoy your WDC anniversary.


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753
753
Review of Finding  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)

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Review of Finding

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A poem sharing the expression of dealing with depression and finding the way to overcome it with the help of a special man.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Continue to share your inner feeling because what happened to you might help others.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and I hope you enjoyed your WDC anniversary.


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754
754
Review of DISPLACED  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

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Review of Displaced

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Looking at civilization from the view point of the animals of the forest. How they deal with cars and later a zoo.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The story is based around the feeling and fears of the animals. The expression of their fears are well done..

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Good spacing but a larger font would help..

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and I hope you enjoyed your WDC anniversary.


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755
755
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)

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Review of The Time Santa got Lost

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Santa gets lost in a storm and the the USS Kitty Hawk helps him out first by getting to land on deck and then helping him on his way. Of course this all accomplished by the intervention of the Master Chiefs of the ship.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

One lost Santa and the intervention by a Master chief who seems to be doing everything aboard this ship. Several other characters but they play minor roles.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

XUse a larger font to make the story easier to read.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and enjoy your WDC anniversary.


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756
756
Review of Are You The One?  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)


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Review of Are You the One

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Searching for someone seems to be a common factor in life today. The poem has a almost plaintive plea for someone. I enjoyed the way the poem is amost a song and I did enjoy it.

{{c:green}SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Keep sharing with us your poetry

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I hope you enjoyed your WDC anniversary


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757
757
Review of A Soldier's Faith  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)


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Review of A Soldier's Faith

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

It is said that there are no unbelievers in a foxhole. For my own experience lying in a slit trench I felt comfortable with my faith in god. Your poem brings thoughts to my mind. I found the poem to me touching in an inspirational way.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

No plots other than the soldier and Jesus. However as long as they are together everything is fine.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Keep writing.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Enjoy your WDC anniversary.


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758
758
Review of The Midnight Hour  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)


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Review of The Midnight Hour

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Trying to get the halloween feeling the writer travels through the graveyard on Halloween.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Only truly one character but mention is made of other as children or ghosts. The poem consists of sixteen rhyming couplets.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Perhaps extending the poem would be my only suggestion.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and enjoy your WDC anniversary.


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759
759
Review of A Rainbow  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)


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Review of A Rainbow

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Is this a call to action? What could that action be? In such a short poem there are as many questions as answers.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

We are the only characters and the poem seems to challenge us to take a role in making things at least appear brighter.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Extend your ideas and bring more depth to your poem.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and enjoy your WDC anniversary.


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760
760
Review of Time to Go  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)


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Review of Time to Go

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Wow this is a bit of a tear jerker. A story taken from the perspective of the dying person. I do understand that there is a point in death where one accepts that inevitable step but it has never been so obvious as it is in this story.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

We must surmise who is coming to see the dying man. Is this God or some form of death messenger? The story obviously shows the writer as a believer in an afterlife experience.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I don't think I would change much in this story other than to clarify the who and where.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Good story. Keep writing. I hope you enjoy your WDC anniversary.


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761
761
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)
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Review of My Life as a Color

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Defining life as a color. Are we talking about the outside, the skin or are we speaking of the inner soul of the being.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

A self defining look at one's own being. This is too short. a person is more that a color.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Give us more detail. You have barely whet our appetite for information.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and please enjoy your WDC anniversary.


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762
762
Review of Making an Exit  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)
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Review of Making an Exit

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A brief episode with a hint of danger between the couple on their drive home during a blizzard.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

there are basically two characters. Kyle is the male and female is not identified by name and she is the narrator of the story. This is mostly a reporting of events but there is room for some emotional dealing between the couple but the story does not follow that up.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Identify the female characters and get into their emotions before driving and perhaps also after just missing the deer.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and please enjoy your WDC anniversary.


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763
763
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Review of twist that Ending

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Some good information that I will store away and probably use in the future. Many of the best stories have one or more twists in them.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

No real plot of characters because this is an information article but it does talk about plot development.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Share with us some additional tidbits from your store of knowledge.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

keep writing and I hope you have a happy WDC anniversary.


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764
764
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Review of It was the Leaf that Spoke First

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

An emotional moment which is remembered with the blowing of a leaf. I liked the personifaction of the tree and leaf.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

a feeling of loss which is brought back to mind by a leaf blowing against one's foot.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

You have some unique insights..Please share them.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Write more and I hope you enjoy your WDC anniversary.


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765
765
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)


Review of I am the Eternal Soldier

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Like you I feel that I understand the soldiers and those who have stood in the line of battle. I have not in an armed conflict as a participant but served in three peace keeping employments.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

I like the fact that you tried to touch warriors of all nations and sometimes even conflicts where soldiers were thrust into battle against each other.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

another good poem.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing my friend.


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766
766
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)


Review of We Fought and Learned to Die

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A poem that I don't feel I have the right to comment on. What i did feel in the reading and re-reading of the poem was the sense of comradeship you must feel for those you served with.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

A difficult time for brave men and women who served in difficult situations with sometimes confusing political situations. Rules of engagement caused strife and loss of friends.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Don't change anything.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Thank you for sharing.


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767
767
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)


Review of Baby It's Cold Outside

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions. However in this case I am the judge of the Sensual Moments contest. This is your official review.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A romantic episode with college age foursome. Two are already sexually active and the other too are not They go to a cabin in the Pocono's to share a two week vacation.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Peter and Kate are planning from the beginning to sleep together which puts Jill (who is a virgin) with Luke.. I think the character development was done quite well and the sexual action was kept to a restrained amount. The story did meet the requirements of the prompt.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I thought that the introduction of Tat Tanya and Oberon just confused the story.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep up the good work.


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768
768
Review of I Write  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)



Review of Day two of Thirteen Days of Halloween

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Interesting poem that takes a conversation and turns it into a poem. A familiar story of the headless horseman.

FLOW & RHYTHM:

The rhyming scheme is A B C C for each of the six verses. The poem follows the conversation prompt quite well and has a natural flow.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No suggestions at this time.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and taking part in the I write competition.


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769
769
Review of Kitchens I & II  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)



Review of Kitchens I and II

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

This also could be entitled a tale of two kitchens. Very different kitchens.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

in the description of the two I tend to favout the second. Cleanliness is fine but kitchens are for food.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I enjoyed your poetic comparison.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing.


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770
770
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)

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Review of Recipe for Vampire

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A good story and not sure quite what was going to happen It was easy to follow except about the movement of the head vampire. he moved to a chair which was on either side of the couple.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

I wasn't sure if these were actual vampires or just bikers playing the vampire image. Either way the witch, Lana took care of matters.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I don't think the title quite fits the story.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and I hope you enjoyed your WDC anniversary.


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771
771
Review of Deep Inside  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)

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Review of XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

I once wrote a poem about the masks we wear. Like you I was hiding my true self from the world around me. I thought I became quite good at it. But thankfully caring people saw through my disguises and loved me in a way I need to be loved. I came to realize that I was manic depressive or what is know today as bi-polar. If this is you please seek help of at least a friend or loved one.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Your expressions show the pain you feel and yet there is also hope that this depression is not all the time. I lived like that fro many years and until I broke, Now with friends and medications i live a good life with out the anger, pain and hurt. Your poem is great because it expresses how you feel.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Use a larger font and perhaps center your poem. Share your poem with those who care for you.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

It's a good piece of work. I hope you write more. Please enjoy your WDC anniversary.


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772
772
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

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Review of Corner of your Eye

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Great little story that runs a chill down the spine. I like how you built up the suspense in little pieces making the woman seem more frightening.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Good plot. Being watched. I enjoyed that you gave a little more description of the watcher with each occurrence.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Fill out the story Be more descriptive of the times you see the watcher.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing great stories like this. I hope you enjoyed your WDC anniversary.


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773
773
Review of Magic Box  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)


Review of Magic Box

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions. I am doing this review as my commitment to the I write project.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A little story that is a way depicts a mother's love. The boy thinks the box has been doubling his money. The truth is his mother has been putting the extra money in the box.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Teddy and his mother. There is not a lot of description of the two but of course this is flash fiction. I think some words could have been used in character description rather than telling what was under the bed.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No suggestions. Just encouragement to keep writing.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

More than half the way there. Let's keep going.


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774
774
Review of More Snow Melt  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
size:4}

Review of The Monster's Living Room

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

I read this portion of your continuing blog which is a Halloween style treatment of the monsters from fiction and the movies in a much lighter and almost comical situation. it is interesting but not it does not have a lot of depth I think it was interesting that you got al the fictional monsters in one place.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

These characters are all male characters. Aren't there some female monsters you could find for them to dance with (Thing, Bride of Frankenstein, The Creature from the Black Lagoon). You don't really develop the characters but I guess that is not required.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

In the fifth paragraph you wrote " pointed to the witch's had" should be hat.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Enjoy your blogging and exploration of the haunted house. Keep writing.


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775
775
Review of To Dance the Wind  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Review of To Dance the Wind

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A woman who finds another way to connect with nature. Dancing with wind sounds like it might have been a native story that has been transferred.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

A woman and the wind. She resists at first but the wind keeps calling to her. She cannot last against nature. Eventually the voices overcome and she dances with the wind.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

My only suggestion is that you continue to write challenging stories.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

have a good WDC anniversary.


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