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801
Review of The Appearance  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of The Appearance
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

George Jackson is a seventy year old retiree sitting in a Starbucks coffee shop when he meets a beautiful woman who after conversation he finds it is really his wife of forty years ago. This ghost image is there to remind him not to waste his last years but enjoy the time with his actual wife.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

George and Monica get to sit down and share a push to get more action form George.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No suggestions at this time.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

A thought provoking story. Thank you for sharing it. Keep writing and enjoy you anniversary.

dblameck
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802
802
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)


Review of Dining and Dashing
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

An interesting and amusing story about a couple being given a horrid dinner and deciding to not pay the bill but to do what is referred to as an illegal act known as to dine and dash. The documentation of the event brings a smile to my face. There were times when I wish I had the gall to do this.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Lena and Wendell suffer through the appetizers but when the entrees are also wrong they decide to call it quits and run for their car.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No suggestions for improvement.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and sharing your stories.

dblameck
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803
803
Review of Balloon Flight  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)


Review of Balloon Flight

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A free verse poem that captures the feeling and emotions connected with a ride in a hot air balloon. There was great description of the experience and the view from the balloon. There is a real connection with nature in this poem and it flows through the entire piece.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I think trailor should be trailer. I saw no other problems.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I could almost feel the balloon lifting away into the sky. Keep up the good work. Write more.

dblameck
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804
804
Review of Coincidence ?  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: ASR | (3.5)


Review of Coincidence?
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A sort of blog experience from a man who has a paranoid feeling that the police in his community are out to get him for revealing some damaging information. I am not sure he is correct but it sure messes with his head.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Only one character as the man has detailed his experience and his observations around him.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No suggestions at this tiime.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and we will keep reading.

dblameck
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805
805
Review of Maternal Future  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of Maternal Figure

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Would you in your mind place yourself in the place of the filly. Perhaps you can write the things you have because you have experienced them. I hope so because they sound like strong positive things.

FLOW:

So many things that filly will learn. The repeat of that thought flows through the entire poem.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Posted over two years ago. Are you ready to share more with us?

FINAL THOUGHTS:

You have not posted anything in quite a while. I am sure you have been writing. Please write more and enjoy your WDC anniversary.

dblameck
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806
806
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)


Review of Sink Me in the River

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Well who has pissed in your morning coffee in order to make you feel low that you want to treated in this way. This poem seems to indicate a low of depression and self-loathing I have read many of your poems and this is almost a new low.

FLOW & RHYTHM:

As usual you poem is of the free verse style. It is my favourite style. The short almost staccato like flow of the poem makes me think of someone giving quick short orders.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Put some sugar in that coffee and change your attitude. We need to keep you around.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing my friend and I will keep reading and reviewing.

dblameck
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807
807
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)


Review of The Last Train Out of the City

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A little confusing for me. Is the man outside the washroom suppose to represent something. A young man returning home. He is a little drunk and high. I am not sure he is hallucinating or what he hears and sees is actually happening.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

A day in the city and had overdone the alcohol and grass. The character could be physically described a little better.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Andrew sat with his eyes close - closed

Also sentences seem to run new ideas and are connected by commas. Break them down into smaller sentences.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and sharing with all of us on WDC.

dblameck
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808
808
Review of Hands To The Sky  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)


Now this is a very uplifting poem. Well, at least the lifting up of hands. To me you are concentrating on what you have done. My experience is the uplifting of hands is more a motion of praise and worship to some higher being. Like praising God (as we know or perceive him/her) by expressing our jubilance.

However whatever makes you feel good is great by me.

Keep Writing my friend.


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809
809
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM item:anniversary}*CakeP*


Review of You Snake in the Grass
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A short story that is forced into a poem. The rhyming pattern does not match with a standard metre.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

It has been wet. The grass has grown high and the bird feeders are empty. Now our character goes out to refill his feeders. A bluejay seems to be trying to tell him something. It seems that a deadly water moccasin snake is slithering through the grass. Our character warned by the blue jay uses a shovel to kill the snake by cutting off it's head.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No suggestions at this time.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and sharing with all of us on WDC.

dblameck



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810
810
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)


Review of When the Kettle Sings

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A nice story about a grandmother sharing with her five year old grandson an old adage "good things come when the kettle sings" She is dying and while he is with her she finally dies and there is a ghost like aspect to her trying to comfort her grandson.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Only two characters. The grandmother and her grandson. Both are effectively described The grandmother teaches the adage about the kettle singing and the two share happy times over a cup of tea, Things start to turn bad however when the old woman takes ill and rapidly gets sicker.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

A good story. I enjoyed reading it. I cannot suggest any improvements.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and sharing your stories with all of us on WDC.

dblameck
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811
811
Review of The Prayer Quilt  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)



Review of The Prayer Quilt

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A very compelling and sympathetic story of love and caring for others. I fought back the tears while I was reading it.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Trina has a quilt fashioned by a woman's church group. Trina does not have cancer but knows other who do and listening to voices in her head she finally finds the one that the quilt is meant for. Very powerful emotions are brought to my mind.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I wish I could trust the voices in my head to give me the correct path to follow.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Thank you for sharing this story.

dblameck
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812
812
Review of Of Love or Stone  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E

Review of Of Love or Stone

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A poem which tells us about two types of hearts and about the things that are important,

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Depicting the difference between a loving heart and of one that is made of stone and is hard.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

There is a moral here. What kind of heart do you have? What should you do about this?

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and posting on WDC.

dblameck
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813
813
Review of Revelation  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E

Review of Revelation

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Can you imagine looking at yourself in a coffin. I find that a bit spooky.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

a man attends his own funeral and thinks that the man in the coffin resembles someone but he can't quite place him.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I wouldn't change a thing. this is a good poem.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and sharing your work on WDC.

dblameck
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814
814
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of the Year Santa Shaved

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A different type of Christmas story. Santa without a beard. Who would have thought of such a thing. I enjoyed the tale and it has a motto.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Santa, Mrs Claus and the elves and a mass of the usual christmas characters. are all shocked that Santa does not have a beard.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

It is an interesting idea for a story.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Sometimes it is better to leave things alone. Enjoy your WDC anniversary.

dblameck
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815
815
Review of The Storm  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with Shadows and Light Free Verse G...  
Rated: E | (4.0)

Review of The Storm

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

I was impressed. A storm is coming and you express it creatively from the view point of a tree. There are great action and descriptive phrases. I can almost feel myself sitting in the branches while this storm goes on.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

A great idea that you have developed into an exceptional poem. I liked the short almost staccato word and phrases that bring the idea of a storm and the motion of the tree to mind.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Personify other things. It worked well for this poem.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and sharing your work on WDC.

dblameck
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816
816
Review of Sin  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with Shadows and Light Free Verse G...  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)

Review of Sin

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

An unique poem but I am not sure that it is free verse as there is a rhyming scheme of A A B B.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

I like the fact that you deal with the seven deadly sin and present each in a compelling manner.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Check out the definition of free verse. This is a good poem no matter what.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and please continue to share your work with the rest of us on WDC,

dblameck
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817
817
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with Shadows and Light Free Verse G...  
Rated: E | (4.0)


Review of The Holes You Left

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A strong poem that depicts the loss that one has felt after the passing of another. It does not dip into strong emotion but it shows a sense of missing the other in simple matters.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Well written and almost clinical in its approach it still shows the pain of the lost. I particularly enjoyed the line "Clay hardened by heat and time and long love."

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

You shade away from some of the personal aspects of the loss. Open up and let your feelings out.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

A good poem Keep entering work of this caliber.

dblameck
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818
818
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)


Review of The Lonely Shepherd

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A vision of a shepherd and his selcluded life that he exists to be a tender of sheep. His hermit style of life gives us cause to wonder why the other things in his life are and what are their importance.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

John the shepherd is according to the text a broken.man. Does the meal of honour belong to him or to another? The family in his black and white photo brings another question. Is he the the boy? Was this at one time his family?

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Write more and make your stories more complete.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep up the good work.

dblameck



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819
819
Review of Prairie Waltz  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with Shadows and Light Free Verse G...  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)


Review of Prairie Waltz

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

So goes the life and times of the dandelion. The sun shines and they grow and then turn to seed and the winds come and blow the seeds afar to start new growth. A simple poem detailing a simple thing that happens over and over again.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The dance of the dandelion seeds is spawned by the winds which blow with so much force on the prairies.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

A nice poem with a connection to nature. Perhaps to make the poem a little longer and more detailed.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and sharing your poetry with the rest of us on WDC.

dblameck
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820
820
Review of Wedding Day  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of Wedding Day

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Flash backs are great. Too bad we can't get to stabilize those visions so we can keep them playing dress-up. I enjoyed this little bit of flash fiction.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

A father and her daughter moving from playing dress-up to being dressed up for her wedding.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I am sure this could be extended into a longer story.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Well done. Keep up the good work.

dblameck
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821
821
Review of Such A Short Life  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)


Review of Such a Short Life

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

I understood most of your figures but what does the 3,151,440 seconds signify?

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Hey there you are dealing with each and every breath I take. Let's not cheat me of any time.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Just keep up with writing.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

That's another minute gone!

dblameck



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822
822
Review of I - Bot  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)

Review of I Bot
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

An interesting take on humans and robots. We have a robot that has feeling and emotions and the government is investigating her because they do not want robots with emotions. Of course the government wants people to be like these robots too. without serious emotion.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Susie 103, a robot who is a waitress. She seems to have emotions and her customer is trying to detect that because he works for the government. Susie 103 is able to avoid being detected and thereby is not in difficulty. The image of a robot who we try to give some character to having character and then being in trouble for that is interesting.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I would challenge you to write more.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Well done.

dblameck
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
823
823
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
size:4}

Review of The Shrieking Shack

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Story written from the viewpoint of Cindy's roommate. Cindy is a xenophobe who is afraid of contact with others . Just having a package delivered causes Cindy to go and hide under her bed and shriek. She does not sound like an ideal roommate.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Cindy has a phobia and her roommate cannot wait to separate from her. I wonder which one is moving. No further description of Cindy but her roommate is taken to reading romance novels.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

The story is well told using the 300 words allotted.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing. This created a good visual image.

dblameck



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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
824
824
Review of No Shoes  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of No Shoes

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

An interesting story about some gentlemen taking a nightly walk. As the story moves along we find that the men are actually ghosts walking about the cemetery.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Going for a nightly walk without shoes. Three men one not realizing he is a ghost.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I like the story just as you have written it.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and please enjoy your WDC anniversary.

dblameck
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825
825
Review of Top Ten Villains  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)

Review of Top Ten Villains

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

An impressive listing of the bad guys of literature, movies and television. The are each well documented and their individual reasons for being on theis list are well written.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Ten bad guys. The ones that we love to hate.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Use a larger font. I wonder about your order in the list but not about the list itself.
FINAL THOUGHTS:

The use of colour to separate each villain was very thoughtful and appreciated by me. When the font is small it becomes hard to read. Keep up the good work.


dblameck
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