Hi Lena! Here is another Secret Santa review from "Invalid Item"  ! Enjoy! Santa's Reviewers are catching up at the shop so please excuse the delay.

I enjoyed your heart felt tribute to mothers and have to agree that they deserve a thankful love more often. You have really touched on many of the attributes of a good mother and it is a good reminder for the reader. I like the idea of her beinge a story teller, hugger, advisor, and how her love is unlimited even when scolding.

The open free style suits the poem and its emotional and detailed content. Beginning with queries insights our pondering and sets out your potently held premise that mother's are worth more than just token day. You back up your belief effectively and offer the plea to be thankful with I love you more often. The ending rocks: that mom is there for not just one day in our life. Something to consider.

I noticed a typo in line 8: "never to busy" needs to be "never too busy".

Thanks for sharing your tribute to mothers where your own gratitude and honour for your mom is evident. It would be interesting for you to do a writing about you as a mom now and if any different depths have occurred form your POV of a mom.

It is a sad thing that some many have not this same experience.

Keep on following your muse and write on!

Hi Lena. Here is another Secret Santa review from "Invalid Item"  ! Enjoy! Santa's Reviewers are catching up at the shop so please excuse the delay.

This is a beautiful and inspirational peom for your friend wher her guardian angel speaks though in sorrow one may forget or not hear.
It realates well all the ways an angel is helpful and a great reminder of how we are loved by the divine no matter what.

The tone is hopeful and consoling, which suits the intent of the poem.

I notice a typo with "can not" . It is all one word "cannot".

I wonder if you need to break into another verse at " You never talk to me" as the tone changes with the angel now expressing its sadness instead of comforting. and then again after "always will be".

I like the way the angel tries different ways to get the listener to hear.

This is such a heartfelt message and I am sure your friend would be comforted even now by it. It must have been terrible to lose a child--how does one comfort?

Thanks for sharing this tribute as it may well comfort others too.

Keep on following your muse and write on!

Hi Beck. Here is another Secret Santa review from "Invalid Item"  ! Enjoy! Santa's Reviewers are catching up at the shop so please excuse the delay.

Wow! This is so creative and fun to read. It is amazing how many soap titles you were able to weave inot this episode and make total sense! The theme of the story also fits the prompt and idea of soap operas. Brilliant.

I had to laugh out loud at first line--Dynasty and Dallas all in one scoop! I had to laugh at the mundane ending too. Good one!

The story is coherent and was easy to follow in three short acts. I think the dangers of high life is well portrayed in Ryan' s loss of self and addiction. The voice is consistent and I like how the story is narrated from sharing the past but ends in he present time. Nice transition!

In paragraph two I saw a typo: "when he calls" needs to be "his calls". The second sentences is a bit long and run on. Maybe break it up for ease.

This story was highly entertaining even with a darker theme. Happy endings are alway nice and reconciliation happens in soaps too..till the next crisis. Thanks for creating this with such dramatic vibe! It rocks!

Keep on following your muse and write on!

Happy New year!

Hi whiskerface. Here is another Secret Santa review from "Invalid Item"  ! Enjoy! Santa's Reviewers are catching up at the shop so please excuse the delay.

OMG! I love the idea of this poem. I had to laugh as I was reminded of my own cat hair issues. My cat was black and I tend to wear light clothes! LOL

The form feels like a mix of senryu/haiku with its syllables and lines. The contrast is from cat shedding to the comical last line! Also in the colour. Cool!
The image of the moment is vivid and one can enter in to the scene with one's own experiences of this issue and feel the vibe of the last line.
I can almost imagine the nuisance value yet the resignation!

You might need a comma for emphasis after "still".

I had fun with this poem! Thanks for sharing your crafting. I have really enjoyed my stay in your port!

Keep on following your muse and write on!


*santahata* I hope you have enjoyed your secret Santa gift!
"Invalid Item" 

Hi whiskerface. Here is another Secret Santa review gift from "Invalid Item"  ! Enjoy!

Wow! Evocative titIe and made me curious . You have a knack for titles to lure me in.

I like cats so I was happy to see this one get free. LOL You have in few words evoked to my mind the watchfulness of the swift cat who takes advantage of the window left open by a not so thoughtful human! I can imagine the cat's attitude and manner as it brings tomind my own cat, whom I had to watch carefully when ever I opened he door. He was not an outdoor cat but loved to get out there!

I liked your compostion with open ended phrasings more prevalent in this form. The images are clear and I could feel the speed in the second line. I enjoyed the sound and flow in the last line. I have heard that adverbs are not really descriptive or poetic so I wonder what else is possible with "swiftly"? Not vital, Just an idea. I do like the "w" and "f" letter themes here though. It adds to the drama and coherence.

Thanks for shairng this awesome model of senryu. I can relate to the cat when having to work indoors and seeing out the open window and the sun shining.....dreaming of escape.LOL tody it snowed! We have a green xmas which is really odd for this time of year. Guess we will start the new year right on track!

Keep on following your muse and write on! You have a gift for this.

H whiskerface. Here is another Secret Santa review gift from "Invalid Item"  ! Enjoy!

Here I am to enjoy more of your senryu. I was drawn to this title as it is a cool theme and I was curious to see your perspective. I really felt the gratitude vibe as I read and thought of how deep this idea is. I though of how we are all broken in some way but in that we can relate and perhaps heal others. Also I thought of how points of view about people vary. I do like when poem take me on a journey from my own perspective! .

The form is correct with the present tense and emotional references. I like the repeat of "They call" , I call" and the "b" words! in line 1 and 3 even though in short poem I have heard it is not good to repeat so close. Here I think it is effective. The last line provides an evocative contrast too. Well done.

I would not leave spaces between lines. I am not a pro but I wonder about the complete sentences in each line. I am still learning the ins and outs of the form.

The poem carries a potent message and gives pause for thought. I am seeing a happy ending!

Thanks for sharing your crafting. It rocks!

Keep on following your muse and write on!

Hi Beck. You are receiving Secret Santa review gift of 5 Poem reviews from "Invalid Item"  ! Enjoy! Santa's Reviewers are catching up at the shop so please excuse the delay.

I was drawn to the title of this cnote shop as I thought it was a unique theme and honours the Bee--they could use some good vibes in this day in age.

The little intro picture is appealing, inviting with a happy vibe. I like the simplicity and felt the welcome without words.

The notes are creative and original with a variety of positive messages. All of them use the BEE theme with gusto.
The fonts are clear to read on brightly coloured backgrounds which are aethestically pleasing.
I had to laugh at Sour Bee. It is so true to life too. Be Inspired has lovely script reflective of the message. Bee Yourself made me laugh too.
The Hubbard quote was interesting and I never heard it before.

I enjoyed persuing this reasonably priced collection. I really like that they can be used any time as the messages are not linked with any season, genre or intent. They are fun and inspiring.

Thanks for contributing this to WDC . It really buzzes!

Keep on following your muse and write on!

Hi Lena . You are receiving Secret Santa review gift of 6 reviews from "Invalid Item"  ! Enjoy! Santa's Reviewers are catching up at the shop so please excuse the delay.

Wow! This is a beautiful dreamscape. Your descriptions are vivid and I could imagine myself there. The metaphor is effective and I like the " loud howl of hope"! Cool and lovely sound!

The prophetic positive outcome is an appealing message and keeps with the being connected to nature.

In line 4 "those that see hope" may be "those who see hope".

I wondered who SHE' was---who is fur covered? "Fur, covered in ice.. she travels, or is she covered in fur in snow" I see a wolf in minds' eye as you say the snow melts form her later. or is the dreamer as wolf, but as written the subject is vague. You speak of the forest, then the breeze and then fur It is common in dream writing. I do it too. LOL Something to think about clarifying. OR NOT. If I do not get logical with grammar, I can feel through the mist. And dream language and image is so personal..so no worries.

I so enjoyed this type of writing from the soul world especially with its inspirational tone. Thanks for listening and sharing from the heart. This rocks!

Keep on following your muse and write on!

HI Whiskerface. Congrats! You are receiving a Secret Santa review gift from "Invalid Item"  ! It includes 5 Poem reviews! Santa's Helpers are catching up with shop orders so please excuse the delay. Enjoy!

Hi, I so enjoy the japanese forms so I am so happy to read some of your wonderful creations! This title was so unique in theme for a senryu. I was intrigued.

I was captivated by the imagery right off and said WOW at the turning point at the end. Brilliant!! I can see this comparison. The online addict in his lair--or even in other world forgetting surroundings. I can see someone huddled online in the basement in a cool evening, earphones on in own little world.

The form is correct though I would drop the capital letters as see not many are usually used in japanese forms. The title is indicative of the theme for easy find and draws the reader--but I wonder if it gives too much away-directing the reader instead of allowing the reader to realise your metaphor on his own.

I enjoyed reading the verse aloud for its well chosen images and word choice that creates an effective soundscape.

Thanks for sharing your gifted vision in this evocative senryu. It just rocks!

Keep on following your muse and write on!

Hi Ken. I wanted to briefly respond to your entry in "12 Days of "Christmas"" !

This is such a precious poem reflecting on the memories carried by ornaments on trees, the scents and sounds of winter season and indeed even the music one hears now that triggers the back then. Very moving and inspiring.

Well penned verses are are a pleasure to read . I love the sentimental tone and the gifts made by children to put on the tree that are still treasures.

The song chosen for Soundtrackers is perfect, a joy to hear and the pentatonix group is one of my favs.

Thanks for this gift today!

eyestar

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 

Hi elle! This review is part of yourNuclear Packagefrom "Invalid Item" !

I used to love letter writing and card sending and it is becoming a lost art in this day of computer ease. I enjoyed how you make it seem fun and a much more sensual experience by the vivid examples you give--the anticipation and the cup of tea!

What you say about facebook is also true--fast paced and lack detail and it never really feels personal or private. I have noted more folks will answer on facebook than a phone call or email!

Your tone is light and relaxed as you invite folks to consider writing a letter and make it easy to begin. I love different pens and paper too and it always made it interesting and fun to write . I would much rather write than type and Ihtink it involves more of the physical me than typing-- like you say the handwriting is unique and perhaps has a speech essence of its own.

It was fun to read your conversational style with variety of line lengths and dialogue like questions evoke responses. I could enter in to the play. I had to laugh at the comment about not liking your voice but family would still listen. ! I don't like my vocie yet when I hear it on tape it sounds like my sister or at times my mother. ew!! LOL As to handwriting--well--I suppose as long as the writer is not a doctor you could enjoy it. LOL

This article for the snail mail groups inspires me to want to write letters again. A bit of a boring tale of my life but.. I may indeed consider it.

Thanks for yet another spark igniting expression. Where do you find the time for all these neat activities? Wow!

eyestar
** Image ID #1729365 Unavailable **


{

HI Kiya! This review is part of your Nuclear Packagefrom "Invalid Item" !

Wow! It is so amazing how you can create such a meaningful and powerful message in the strict Fibonnacci Form.

The theme and perspective on Justice is well established and I felt the "accusatory eyes" and vibe and the stark sad truth of the last line. Each word in the last line is well chosen to fit the 13 count.

It had a fierce tone as I read it aloud and harsh sound words with "c", g, k, d " are effective in creating some drama. The emphatic dialogue in the first line sets the tone. "dark hue" is a nice change from "black" or dark skinned" . Maybe a comma after "demand".

Thanks for sharing this potent message that puts light on this issue. It is a shame we need reminding still.

Keep on being a beacon of light and write on!

eyestar
** Image ID #1729365 Unavailable **

** Image ID #1729347 Unavailable **