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Request by a friend to make a poem out of my previous poem descriptions… WHY WOULD YOU-

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eyestar~*

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1251

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14 days may be credited.

#4122351

Review of : (Colon)

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Hail Beastmaster! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you for your efforts as Martell Sunspear and for making me laugh in the interactive! .

Oh my gosh. I couldn't stop laughing and maybe I needed to bu this struck me so funny! You have an outrageous way of looking at things. But total sense it made. Where do you get this stuff? Where does your muse hang out?

This poem about the colon is expressed in a serious tone of the colon itself lamenting about its name. It is really food for fun. The ideas and connections made in every single verse made me belly laugh. eg. "heart" "apos, the trophe", "period", "boomer" etc. I won't to give things away.

The free form works for content and dramatic content and the consistent rhyme scheme assisted the flow and structure. "anatomy" and "bawdy" are off rhymes--not quite on but fit the nonsensical topic. The vocabulary suited the comparison of punctuation to body processes and parts. Brilliant conceptions. It is so entertaining that the flaws in rhythm don't matter. I loved its entertainment value and it is well thought out.

Thanks for sharing your gift of humour and wonderful word craft. I had so much fun. The world needs more lightness, less constriction.

Highest regards and light on the path as you Write on!
eyestar

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

1252

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4120361

Review of DONUT

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hail Dave! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you on behalf of the House Martell in the"King's Landing updating " .

Oh I have heard of this form of poem and actually did try to create some! I thought I was a fascinating and fun exercise. Yours makes even donuts look delicious. I liked the first line with the words "chock full" . I don't hear it that often so it stands out as you begin with the appealing description of donuts main attractive qualities. I love jelly and glaze. The second line evoked the image of the jelly dripping out when you take a bite. "bursting" is a wonderful word choice.
The third line gives it a sensual feel in the word choice and sound. It is delicious to say and made me think about eating it very slowly to savour it and the mess in makes on my mouth.

In a vivid way you portray the experience of eating of a donut. People do actually talk to their food so I had to laugh at line 4! The "u' sounds in the end lines remind me of gulping. Good show! the last line say it all.
The form is delightfully laid out in colour font, which adds to the visual sense and happy energy of the expression. It is created according to the author's note and the punctuation assisted the read. I could almost here the power of the words in my head." You are going down".

Looks like a fun piece to write and I may play with it again. Thanks for sharing this taste sensation.

Highest regards and light on the path as you Write on!
eyestar

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

1253

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4120094

Review of Miracle on the Hudson

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hail Dave! Port raid continues just to celebrate you
on behalf of the House Martell in the"King's Landing updating " . I am so enjoying your poetry!

Incredible composition! I have never heard of this unique and complex form which must have taken you ages to create and get right! Three poems in one balanced expression to record a true near tragedy. Very creative.

The title gives the main theme, setting and reveals the non fiction element of the piece. The author's note quenched my curiosity and reported the details. Thanks. The poem starkly tells the tale even without knowing the where and when.

This Cleave poem reflects its name and the bold letters show the split quality, which I did not really see til I researched the form. I felt that the bold letters worked somehow and quite liked the effect on the page. The black fonts helped build the aura of danger and drama.

The poem has intensity in every line as it flows in detail the occurrence in the sky. Reading it as a whole first I could imagine the event clearly. I really felt the potency in line 1 verse 2 with the impactful word "plucked from the sky". What an intriguing image! The word also refers back to the geese.

Reading the bold letters makes a story about the geese and the other half about the plane. Wow! It makes so much sense. The idea of meeting "destiny" balances with the "danger converged" of the other side of the poem. I am not sure how danger converges but it sounds cool. Both poems flowed quite well off the tongue each tell a story, to complement each other.

As the tag line indicates, it does feel like a tribute to the powers and people that be, who saved the day. But what a ride. I can't imagine and yet I suppose it is amazing it does not happen very often.

I want to go and read more of these kinds of poems. Who knew? Thanks for teaching and inspiring as you do what you do!

Highest regards and light on the path as you Write on!
eyestar

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" dave

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

1254

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14 days may be credited.

#4120079

Review of The Art of Reviewing Poetry

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hail Dave! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you
on behalf of the House Martell in the"King's Landing updating " .

Wow! This is a very comprehensive teaching on reviewing poetry. The title appealed to me as you refer to it as an art and indeed you illustrate that effectively in the detailed information about how poetry works. It is well organised around the premise that one must understand some of the components of poetry to know what to look for when reviewing. The narrative tone is positive and invites one to look at the process as a learning experience. I like how you introduce with the idea of love of learning and then reiterate your goal at the end. I was drawn by the first line of paragraph two by the idea of the sponge and how true we need to be open minded learners.

The page is organised under subheadings to deal with the main tools of poetry creation and what to look for in a poem. The information was easy to access and the questions posed really give good clues as to how to think about poems. The language is thematic and offers the reader some juicy words that could be incorporated into a review. Defining the terms was helpful and I really enjoyed the flow of the language. Adding metaphors assisted with illustration and to break up the teaching narrative. eg. the comparison to an orchestra, a gourmet chef etc. Really good visuals that we can relate to. The vocabulary was well chosen to reflect the topic and it was easy to read and flow in a coherent manner.

There is a lot to digest and mull over here, which mirrors what is required for reviewing poetry. The article is a valuable resource to keep on hand, especially for reviewers who may not tend to review poetry, or even novice poets. The links to a variety of sites for poetry, styles, elements etc are a convenient addition for those who feel called to learn more. I learned a lot from reading it and especially about some questions to ask when reviewing a piece. That is vital for me, after , of course, brushing up on the elements about which you wrote. I loved what you said about "writing our own unique responses.." rather than stale static templates. I find sometimes I need the freedom to just allow the piece to tell me what it needs, based on what flows and is evoked in me.

The voice and tone were invitational and open and I felt the intent of a true facilitator of the art. Thank you for sharing such a relevant and needed article. It is so meaningful a contribution to WDC writers, if they have open ears to hear.

I will be passing this along to some reviewers who are reluctant to review poetry.

Highest regards and light on the path as you Write on!
eyestar

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

1255

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14 days may be credited.

#4120022

Review of Lifted high

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: ASR

| (4.0)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

HI ElaineElaine! I am here with a review to celebrate you!

The title spoke to me as I thought of being uplifted and inspired. I read the tagline and here I am. I love dragon lore. It caught my imagination on dragon flight. the title by itself might not have led to dragon theme though.

I like the idea of addressing the dragon here and the dream of going beyond the now to other realms. I had a sense of the wishing and desire to leave the ordinary and a belief in ideal of that other realm.
It was fun to read and it is amazing how you rhymed every line with the same sound. Wow! You have some interesting words too and they befit the era of dragons. I like the idea of "enscrolled" and "eternity's mold" is evocative image. The conception of this line makes me wonder.

The three stanzas seem balanced and the rhyme adds to the flow. I notice the rhythm of lines is not always even but the only place that stuck out when I read it was the short "we have strolled" that didn't seem to flow as nice as the line before. Likely depends on how I read it. The other glitch for me was "where you me hold". I know what you mean but it is odd and needs tweaking.

The imagery of the dragon lair with gold sets the scene and I wondered how one could be enscrolled in dragon community--eg the use of "I am" as in present and then changed to the past in the next line.

I like the idea of dragons as wise teachers and bestowers of courage as it is a positive vision. The last line is one I am pondering. "enfold me in life" is puzzling but I will dwell with it.

Thanks for sharing this wonderful bit of fantasy. Have a super day today.

Light on the path as you write on!!

eyestar

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

1256

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14 days may be credited.

#4119872

Review of Nature's Grace

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hail Dave! I am back to do a review to celebrate you
on behalf of the House Martell in the"King's Landing updating " .

Oh! I love hummingbirds and this poem brought to mind my experience of holding a hummingbird! I wrote about it too. LOL Choosing it as a symbol for your message about poets trying to capture the essence of nature is brilliant and right on! Indescribable is the beauty of this reality.

The verse was so pleasing to read with its charming rhymes and natural flow. The rhyme vocabulary is eloquent and it is amazing to have the same sound rhyme in each line. Line 5 "to the page" was a potent transition. The t words in line three give the idea of hardship especially with "try", a word that does mean 'not do"! Alliterative too. The word "encase" is perfect as a rhyme and for its meaning. The idea of encasing grace is brilliant and impossible. It makes me happy it cannot be.

The concept and image in the first two lines struck me as interesting as I imagine how hummingbirds mock as the writer watches it. They flutter fast and fly at high speed and emanate a kind of joy---how could one catch it?
Only in the heart, in the moment and then....

The link on the page did not seem to work for me so I trekked elsewhere. The form is appealing to me and has all the elements of the trois-par-huit, including the title as the end line. I am not too good with form structures myself so I so admire those who explore this wizadry.

Thanks for sharing your unique vision and craft and bringing back memories and reminding me we can merely mimic the natural world.

Highest regards and light on the path as you Write on!
eyestar

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

1257

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14 days may be credited.

#4119312

Review of Love is...

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hail Spidey! I am happy to do a review with to celebrate you!

Your moving little poem popped up on the Random Reviews and the title reminded me of an old Charlie Brown song "Happiness is" and I heard the tone in my head. don't ask me what Love is ..has to do with it. I still like the open ended title with it's three dots... inviting us to add our own thoughts.

The simple lines carry a wistful vibe and appealed to me with its soft voice. The images are vivid and I could so imagine the poet in this moment of reflecting on a photograph of a loved one. It could be an older person remembering a hubby passed on, or one who had a love long ago that is cherished but not to be. I like the non-specific so that reader can enter into their imagination or experience to deepen the meaning of the poem. Well done.

The ideas you chose for what love is are charming and the image of the photo in the first verse was a unique connection to love. The stars do inspire memory and space to dream.

It was pleasant to read aloud for its emotional essence and how each love image relates back to the "other' at the end of each verse. Nice balance. Punctuation assisted the read and the free style suit the theme and message.

Thanks for composing this little gem with its reflective tone and theme that can be heard by all and even inspire us to consider our own "Love is.." point of views.

Light on the path as you write on!

A Review from "Simply Positive Review Forum " !

Eyestar
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1258

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14 days may be credited.

#4119306

Review of FREE YOURSELF!

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Welcome to WDC Mihai! I am happy to do a review with to celebrate you!

Your rousing title popped up on the Random Review page and appealed to me. What a energizing vibe and interesting concept that we can choose to free ourselves. After all, what can bind us unless we allow it?

The essay maintained this positive tone and is full of sage suggestions of how to access this freedom! I was reminded of the Frozen Song, Let it Go! I related to everything you said here and your ideas are relevant and ring true.

I enjoyed reading the unique style and how you emphasize points in bold letters, which added drama. The litany of Let go statements is effective and I wonder if "let go of..disappointment" should be on its own line--or were you trying make the line similar length to the others? I like how you say to let go of the negative but also of the positive "glory" stories of life as well, to be totally present in now! Sometimes we can be just as hung up and stuck in limitation by the Good opinion of others and expectations as the negative ones. Wow! Wise knowing!

This is really motivational and I like ideas like "glow" again, and "empty vessel..emotions"
That we can come to a place of total Allowance {as I like to say} and be free to be and do anything is appealing. Even making mistakes is all in the flow.

A few pesky typos or glitches
"If you only new.." should be "If you only knew.." in line 3.
Maybe put italics around the examples you give after "repeating to yourself: {i}I failed..{/i} just to separate your words from the thoughts that may go on inside one's head.
Using {&} adds a bit of fun flair and flow. --is it popular to use in essays?
"LET GO OF YOU OLDER" needs to be "YOUR OLDER".
What is AB INITIO? I am not familiar with this.

Thanks for sharing this personal wisdom. It is a great piece to hang on the wall to remind us when we forget. We Are it! Free as we choose. Wonderful!

Light on the path as you write on!

A Review from "Simply Positive Review Forum " !

Eyestar

** Image ID #1919873 Unavailable **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

1259

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14 days may be credited.

#4118122

Review of 21st Century Contrition

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.5)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

HI Dan! I am here with a review to celebrate you!

I am so thrilled to find this tribute to bees and your title gives nothing away as to the topic but does give us pause to wonder what have we as a society done now, if we are curious. I was so here I am and delighted to celebrate bees with you.

You weave the wonder of bees as contribution with the growing awareness of how we have not considered their importance in the past. I liked how you made it personal by adding the speaker's own past fault in the matter. We are in it together.

the poem was fun to read aloud and while your rhythms are not always in sync the rhyme scheme is wonderful. Amazing how you have each verse has its own sound to rhyme in each of the 4 lines. Verses 5 and 7 are my favourites as the words are interesting. Imagine rhyming with "pollinate" .

The weakest rhyme was in the last verse as it wasn't exact.

I wanted to drop "our" from "boorish denial" when I read it aloud as it really threw off the rhythm in verse 5. I really liked the message about how we are messing up!

I also wondered at the word "proverbial" as it felt un poetic and heavy.

I don't think you need a question mark after "carry on" as it connects with the next line in verse 2, though you may have meant it as emphasis.

The voice was consistent throughout the poem and the idea of speaking to the bee was brilliant and appropriate. The apologetic tone is vivid and the promise to let it live and ask it to return is appealing way to end. The speech felt natural and I had to smile in verse 3 as I can imagine the appeal to pollinate tomatoes and get away from the hoes. Following it with a 'by the way I am sorry' was effective as a bit of drama.

Fun rhyme too.

I am impressed with your crafting that speaks of a potential tragedy in a vivid way as a gentle but clear message. The links about this environmental issue add weight to it and give us an opportunity to check it out. Your message and caring is vital and appreciated, by bees and

s too.

Light on the path as you write on!!

A Review from "Simply Positive Review Forum " !

eyestar

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

1260

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14 days may be credited.

#4117784

Review of Ash

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (3.5)

Hiya alex! I am happy to do a review with to celebrate you!

The simple title caught my attention and made me wonder about the theme--a colour, a tree, burnt wood. I like to ponder so here I am.

The first line image of the clock under the sky is beautiful, evocative and made me want to read on. I enjoy metaphors. I wonder what covered the clock with ash.

The whole piece is filled with strong imagery that brought the picture clearly into my mind.The descriptions are vivid and pleasureable to read. I liked "rusting...eyes" and the flow of the phrase with the three "un" words. Lovely. The repetition of "never" in three phrases in line two is effective too and balances with the latter. It gives me the impression of a clock counting over and over.

The paragraph is well written and flowed well when I read it aloud. The atmosphere is potent in setting, feeling, and soundscape. I especially liked line "tapping...hitting metal:" with all the "t" sounds and "fainting strains" created the music he hears.

The vibe is a sad one and the last line gives pause for thought.

I notice you need a space between "window" and "sill". You give enough detail to allow me to imagine the building in my own imagination. I had to pause and wonder what the "it" referred to in line 3 but I assume you mean the "window sill" will fall into cinders.

Lots of questions pop to mind as I read as if called to read between the lines. Who was he and why is he there?
I have the idea that we are between the two worlds somehow. You say he is unliving so he would rather be there then in heaven. AS if he is enjoying the chimes and accordion music. So existential.

Thanks for sharing your gift and expression. It was fun to wander into your dream.

Light on the path as you write on!

A Review from "Simply Positive Review Forum " !

Eyestar

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

1261

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14 days may be credited.

#4117694

Review of Empty Mirrors

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Hiya Doorman Dan! I am happy to do a review with to celebrate you!

Wow! I was drawn by the title to this amazing creation. Mirrors are evocative images and the idea of being empty made me ponder with curiosity. The theme is one I want to dwell upon myself now.

The writing and theme has the vibe of a lyric or song and repeating one of the verses was effective. I wondered if you had a tune in your head for it as I noticed the verses were all different lengths. Sometimes a song has balanced verses but it depends on the music.

The tone was reflective and longing. The use of questions and pleas drew my attention to the plight and need of the speaker in a potent way. The imagery was brilliant and was my favourite part! I loved the moon, star, nebula, eclipse -space language you used to build your atmosphere. The metaphors really work ! I could read this over and over as I consider your words and ideas like "the solar eclipse in my head" and the quicksand line! yep this emotion can feel just like that. etc. I like the way the mind is all over the place -- and the dramatic echo of aloneness in the "help me" lines is moving.

The song is evocative to me and the hopelessness of the empty mirror, lost to self in the mind's pain is vivid and sad. I feel like I have been there and perhaps others have as well so the theme is relevant.
The common plight is expressed in a truly original and unique way! Even the changing font size adds to the drama and delivery as I read aloud. The gray font reminds me of the fog nebula. Nice touch!

Thanks for sharing your well conceived unique expression. Made my day and made me glad to be happy.

Light on the path as you write on!

A Review from "Simply Positive Review Forum " !

Eyestar

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

1262

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14 days may be credited.

#4117446

Review of Booster C-Notes

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hail Great GOT Witch! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you on behalf of the House Martell in the"King's Landing updating " .

I was drawn in to this unique set of cnotes when I read the evocative title. The word "booster" is so suggestive and fun! The theme is brilliant and really fills a need as we all have those times of doubt and shadow when a bit of light is essential. I was uplifted just strolling through your collection.

Your opening is elegant, inviting with an appealing glyph and I had to smile at the third line! It was an unexpected idea. I liked knowing where the proceeds go--and such a worthy cause.

Each cnote has its own flare and an inspiring message concerning writing. Using the artsy elements with words like music, imagination, and dreamer fit the theme as well. The pictures are well composed with fonts and colours that accent the images. I was not repelled by any disharmony.

The "dead end" cnote was effective wake up call. It has a strong vibe which makes me think and reconsider giving up. The Imagination one is so humourous. I reminded me of an odd way to show stress and yet make me smile and think it can't be that bad. Also it really emphasizes vividly the wild imagination that you want to highlight in the message. Brilliant!

The Star note caught my eye with its bright colour and flowy form which emanates a joyful tone and makes a bold statement that makes me feel its truth.

I like the quill and the old fashioned picture of inspiration. Cute kitty too. One could be inspired to write something from this. Who couldn't wonder about the mail cat? LOL

The note called cheerleading is also cute and I like the old turn table! Many do not even know what this is nowadays. LOL The message rocks and I see that the last line ties into the title. I didn't get it at first when I saw the picture. But it is in the words!

Thoughts leading to a story is a solid advice too--as often stories come out of the misty mind chatter if we get it out.

The last message is so relevant as writing through feelings is often what writers do. Yet we can also be so stuck in it we forget to! This can be a useful gentle reminder with a kick represented by the Red colours! My POV anyway.

Thanks for creating and sharing this positive contribution to WDC writers. It will certainly go on my favs! I can't send one to myself and already I have been inspired.

Highest regards and light on the path as you Write on!
eyestar

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

1263

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14 days may be credited.

#4112082

Review of Run Down

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.0)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

HI bigewalksalone! Happy 3rd! I am here with a review to celebrate you!

I found this on your Highlighted Items section and the title and tag made me curious to think getting run down was a true story.

The treachery of a friend is hard to bear.

The weaving of your words has potency in tone and atmsophere. The picture is vivid and portrays tragedy. Using the personal I voice gives it immediacy and drew me in.

The free verse is effective for the emotional content and I enjoyed the language, dialect, tone and the description especially in verse 3 is so real.
I really felt the idea in the third line:
"I didn't know it was coming" -the unexpectancy of betrayal is so strong when it happens from a source you would never have guessed at.
I liked the line :" Like a loco out of control" as evocative and revealing.

This expression really portrays your feelings. Well done.

Thanks for sharing your craft.

Light on the path as you write on!!

eyestar

1264

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14 days may be credited.

#4112075

Review of The Quiet

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 18+

| (4.0)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

HI Spirit duchess! Happy 5th ! I am here with a review to celebrate you!

This reflection lured me with its unique vision and free flow that feels like mind and muse weaving through ethers. Many of the concepts and images evoke me to ponder as well on the mirror , reality and consciousness and the madness of the mind chatter. I loved reading it.

The reference to Alice is potent and the work had that kind of quirky quality!
I liked "some truth must gnaw" and "lured to the eye" and the idea of "crazy diamond". Verse 6 has lovely soundscape.
Verse 5 confused me. "leave what to the imagination"--felt like something was missing.

The use of nature images is effective and I could visualize the sun and lake and how a profound vision and reflection would arise.

The last two lines have a potent edge of finality. Wonderful though sad. I thought of a legend in his own mind.!

Thanks for sharing this original and unique vision. I appreciated the evocation to see with your eyes and will ponder on.

Light on the path as you write on!!

eyestar

** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

1265

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14 days may be credited.

#4112068

Review of Black Spider

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.0)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

HI purpleflame! I am here with a review to celebrate you!

I am with you on the Spider front! Creepy yet creators of magic! But keep them away from me! Your title caught my attention with its simplicity and directness. Might as well face the topic right up front!

I enjoyed your encounter with a spider and could so relate, especially to their ability to get away just when you think you have them under control. LOL I don't like heights either so kudos for you getting up on a ladder. I would have used a fly swatter, but so can relate to the kleenex ritual.

I had to a laugh when the kids left and then came back to step on it and thanked you! I shuddered with you when it landed on you. The comic relief of the spider man comment was effective too.

The first line set the scene though I felt it could be broken up into shorter pieces. It was long to read.. I also notice some places where commas would help. You will probably catch them on an edit.

It is interesting , don't ya think what you will do for your kids. I would kill a spider if someone else was freaking out worse than me--but I want someone else to do it FOR ME .

Thanks for the trip!

Light on the path as you write on!!

eyestar

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"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

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1266

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#4112062

Review of Thoughts on November Snow

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.5)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

HI iluvhorses! I am here with a review to celebrate you!

What a vivid reflection on November's first snow. The idea of making it prophetic is appealing. The vibe of the piece gives me the impression nothing is ready for winter yet. Vivid words like "icy fingers" "flee" and "grasp" create the chilling reality and reaction to the surprise.

I love the idea in the first line--the personification of night stretching its fingers. Beautiful. The enjambment is appealing here too as I think of a winter night stretching longer than summer's and then you surprise with the next line. Brilliant.

I enjoyed the sound and flow as I read it aloud and it is effective how you left it hanging---evoking our images of what that might be! Simply written with room for readers to imagine.

Thanks for sharing your craft and vision. I am glad it is spring.

Happy 4th! Light on the path as you write on!!

eyestar

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1267

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14 days may be credited.

#4112056

Review of The Necessary Cat

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.5)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

HI Jazzycat! I am here with a review to celebrate you!

Purrrr! This poem is a Purrrrrfect tribute to the lure and power of a cat! I had to smile and nod as I have had this experience.

It was absolutely a pleasure to read aloud and flowed smoothly. The rhyming was well done and added to the drama.
Your description of the cat antics and your responses are vivid as you recount the tale in a consistent voice. I like that you are speaking to the cat as if it can understand. Well, it likely does and knows exactly what it is doing.

Your first verse drew me in and I enjoyed the language and word order. My favourite to read for its vibrant description and tone. The comparison to a queen is well borne out through out the poem. Verse 4 is fun telling of your useless resistance. Resistance is futile I'm thinking. Well said!

The last line is emphatic just by adding the comma. The word "cat" so plain and firm, still trying to distance self from ownership. It works. The title reflects well the theme.

Thanks for creating this entertaining and "truthful" tale of a necessary cat! Well written.

Happy 10th! Light on the path as you write on!!

eyestar

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1268

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#4112046

Review of Creative Hobby and Crafts Forum

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

HI Princess Megan Rose! I am here with a review to celebrate you!

Wow! I haven't seen this before. What a fantastic and unique idea to highlight and chat about hobbies.

Your pictures are elegant, colourful and creative and make the page appealing. I wonder if centering them would set the page off in a balanced way.

Your introduction is enthusiastic and inviting! It was interesting to read all about your multitude of talents and hobbies. Wow! You are incredibly versatile. Collecting teacups! cool. My mother used to collect them and had really old ones form her grandmother. Beautiful and delicate they were.

I like how you write about your interests and then ask questions of the reader to draw them out and give ideas of things they might share about. Very effective technique for a forum invite.

Thanks for giving others the opportunity to share their hobbies and interests and find kindred spirits. Your enthusiasm and joy in craft is potent.

Light on the path as you write on!!

eyestar

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1269

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#4112037

Review of Vibrant Text 'n Image Shop [Open]

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

HI Gervic. I am here with a review to celebrate you!

Wow! I just found this amazing, unique image shop. The idea of lovely scripts for pagesets and folders is awesome. I also love the muse images!

The title tells in all and attracts attention.

The page is colourful and appealing, showing off the styles and possibilities of the scripts you offer. They are very elegant.
I really liked the adopt a muse and the muses are beautiful. I have my eye on one.

The information, prices and how to order is detailed and organized in two sections. The writing was clear without errors. I wondered about leaving a little more white space between your set samples. A little hard to see where one begins and ends even with the set titles.

Your gift certificates are vibrant and pretty too.

Thanks for sharing your unique vision and providing this service to the WDC! You have flair!

Light on the path as you write on!!

eyestar

1270

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#4111649

Review of Strip Trees

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: ASR

| (4.0)

Welcome to WDC Geralyn! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you!

Wow! I was drawn to the evocative blunt title! I love trees too so I am always happy to see them appreciated in verse. Brilliant connection to strip tease! Way to go!

The weaving of your words is marvelous in its metaphor and vivid imagery. I loved the conception and the comparison of trees to show season changes was a good choice.
.
Word choice was effective to create soundscape and stunning stark tapestry. "gawdy bawds clad" Strong acitve verbs like "strut" , "cloaks" and "drapes" make it potent and dramatic.

The second line threw me off a bit as you have two nouns together:" trees strumpet". Did you mean "trees like strumpets strut"? It just felt grammatically off and I could be wrong. I liked the alliterative quality though.

I so admired the inventive vision here and enjoyed reading your work aloud. Keep on creating!

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar

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1271

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#4111644

Review of The Crazy Cat Girl.

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (3.0)

Welcome to WDC Azalea! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you!

I was attracted to your cool title on the Read A Newbie Page. I love cats.

I really get a sense of the girl you describe in this short piece as you set up the relationship with her mom and her issue with school. I like the image of the slumped shoulders but head high. Good job. She seems to be struggling with being misunderstood and different.

I think this could be the beginning of a story and I wondered where the cat came in. I am so interested in who the crazy cat girl is as you do not mention cats. Will cats play a part in her journey?

When I read the story I wanted to put a period at the end of the first bit "Life". for pause and emphasis. Then begin a new sentence with "She said good bye to her mom, who ignored her because"-- a little grammar fix to avoid saying "her mom" twice.

Thanks for stepping out and sharing your first writing , Author! Keep on going!

Light on the path as you write on!
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1272

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#4111636

Review of Ocean Fun

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Welcome to WDC samantha! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you!

Oh wow! This poem was so fun to read and I could so imagine the little girl as the beach and her intense reactions! The word "screeched" was brilliant to create sound and the rhyme was very well planned and added to the flow and drama. The repetition of line portions was effective and emphatic and I had to laugh as I thought of all of her experiences.

the flow of the lines when I read aloud was pleasing in a balanced form. It was thrown off a bit in the last two lines--especially the last one as it seems longer. I wonder if just saying :when it was time to say goodbye" would improve it. Of course then we might see the image of her being thrown up or picked up by her mother and might wonder who saw there with her.

I could see the mom picking her up high above her or even over her shoulder---a different screech representing a tantrum of not want to go. Your lines really evoke the reader to dream of similar images. Very creative with lots of vivid images that appeal to the senses.

I wondered about the repetition of line one in verse 1 into line 2 verse 2. Was it for a purpose.? Also the the word "then" threw me off the rhythm a bit too.

I so enjoyed entering the vision you created so well and was drawn in by the title. In the tag line, did you mean the plural for "girls" or the possessive "girl's fun"? Just a punctuation glitch. It seemed like you were describing one girl's adventure.

Thanks for sharing this light hearted romp with its joyful vibe. Keep writing.

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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1273

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14 days may be credited.

#4111446

Review of the melt

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Welcome to WDC softblood! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you!

I was drawn to your evocative title on the Read A Newbie page and had to check it out . It made me curious as many ideas came to mind like snow melting, a tuna melt, a melt down... I like a title that I can ponder. I read your tag clue later. LOL

The short form reminded me a bit of senryu with its phrasings and shifts. Very enjoyable to read. the first line caught my attention with its vivid image and I the idea of dreaming and open windows had me pondering on the notion of the difference of doing it with windows closed. I feel it meant more freedom. The third line gives us the idea of change in weather. I really felt underlying meanings yet to surface in my brief study of your work. But then I tend to be wierd!

The last verse has only two lines and feels like a second poem with its philosophical tone and message. The last line took me out of your poem some how. Are you comparing winter to hatred? MM. maybe a different word would make a better connection

The first verse could easily be made into a fine senryu by changing the last line to 5 syllables to 5-7-5.

This piece has thoughtful ideas and I enjoyed dwelling in your vision. Thanks for sharing your craft and please keep listening to your muse. I enjoy reading between the lines and out into the space of my interp. You left room for reader to jump to her own vision.

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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1274

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14 days may be credited.

#4110726

Review of my mother never listens to music anymore

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

HI catonthewall. I am here with a review to celebrate you!

Wow! This is a truly moving piece of poetry. It has a really sad evocative tone and equally sombre story theme. You have caught the essence of how the writer feels about her mother's situation. I feel the struggle of trying to understand what might be going on in her head.

I was lured in my the sentiment in the first line, which sets us up for an unhappy vibe. Plus I love dancing and singing it would be sad not to do it again. The line also gives us the idea that the author had fun with mom in those times.

The verse with the single line is emphatic and dramatic as well. I hear the echo of the life gone in shadow.

The free verse is a good choice for the emotional content and reflective voice. The idea of the" brick red sunset" finding her is original and descriptive.

Thanks for sharing this emotional expression! I am sure this theme is relevant for many. *startstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!!

eyestar

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

1275

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14 days may be credited.

#4110666

Review of Bob Dempty AKA Humpty Dumpty

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 18+

| (5.0)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

HI Diane! I am here with a review to celebrate you!

Oh my gosh! This tickled my funny bone as you rewrite the old tale with a twist. You tell the whole adventure with such a straight face , so to speak. You wove the comic element so well making his problem a serious one is a nice contrast. Using drinking also makes total sense to his falling. LOL I had to laugh at the end AGAIN!

The character is vivid and his narrative voice is true throughout. You really showed his opinion toward the king's guard and the ridiculousness of the horses fixing anything. Duh! works.

The descriptions are clear as they show the place and action. Setting it up as a testimonial at a AA meeting was unique and the name change and new job was inventive and made me smile. Priceless. You are so creative. I couldn't imagine how I'd change a nursery rhyme. You make it quite serious. The rating for sure is right on!

Thanks for your creative vision that entertained me enormously.

Light on the path as you write on!!

eyestar

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