Hiya Marci. This review is part of yourNuclear Packagefrom "Invalid Item" . A short little extra one as It popped up on the random reads and I couldn't resist it!
Oh, this piece is such a precious Pleiades about a puppy!
The image is perfectly painted so I can perceive the puppy and its performances!
The Pleiades pattern is well produced and punctuation provided proper pauses in the flow.
Your vocabulary was perfect for describing the actions and the use of P alliteration was playful and polished! "Puttering" and "pint-size" is perfectly delightful! I really enjoyed this vision.
Your item popped up on the Random Reads page and lucky me as I like philosophical themes. I have to so agree with the heaviness of the word "should". It makes everything a burden!
The short essay is well composed as you relate how the trap of the should be point of view and comparisons to others' pains can prevent one from really healing their own. The process is shown logically and I had no trouble following your thoughts.
I like the idea that there are no worse or lesser problems as each person is an individual and what is problematic for them can be as bad for them, as someone with apparently worse problems is for the other person. I mean, I could not perhaps deal with as much trauma in the way another can.
Our paths and our experiences are our own.
I wonder if examples would help illustrate your points in a deeper way and expanding it. I think it has an important message. The title is a good hook and sparks a question.
In my world, I like to use the word allowance instead of acceptance as the latter word gives the notion something is wrong or cannot be changed. Allowance is more open---we allow ourselves to just be with the feelings, situation without judgement and thus more space to see possibilities. I think adding a point about how judgement is also a detrimental factor. If we see others as worse off--that is a judgement and then the "shouldn't feel so bad" comes in as you say. If we give up judgement, maybe that would create more change.
Wow! I enjoyed reading your work as it spurred food for thought. I hope more folks see this piece of wisdom--which feels like it comes from experience. It would be very helpful as a first step! Thanks for sharing and allowing me my little Point of view.
Hey I needed this Hex to destroy my 10th Leviathan! The wreak havoc and spread negativity from Noire's lair and we just WILL not have it around this space of light.
I always admire your organizational skill to keep track of the million things you do! It keeps you sane I bet (well maybe) to have this handy little list so that even when SM adds his two cents, you can see what he's done! Hope he remembers. You use the word WE so it may include your other secret service folks! Yet, I bet it is you two--or you'd miss the pleasure of gifting surprises. And it is your party!
The page is cheerful and the glyph banner speaking loudly the grand theme. The explanation is clear and I like how you highlight the probability number of 105 chances in black and in your title banner.
It is fun to scroll and see who our spectacular reviewers of each day are, especially as you post immediately at times during the day. And no, it is not on my favs yet. I have so many ..er... more vital items to watch at the moment, but I do pop in and see who is rocking, especially great to see newbies! I am trying to get the word out to them to pop in and try some easy games. Everyone can review, right?
This event is very celebratory and generous thank you to your WDC peeps. And the unknown and unexpected surprise element is exciting! So carry on!
Thanks for all you BE and DO on our behalf!
And hey, you can always leave a little something in "All About Birthdays Free for all!" You must have a memorable or inventive birthday thing! You have kids! *ballooner* It can be brief. Better still pass the job to SM! LOL kidding! I know you are busy so have fun!
Wow! I was drawn to the cool title as it promises to have a fascinating set of heros.
I do not know much about writing in this genre and it is amazing how many facets you have to bring together to create your world.
You have some interesting character sketches and detailed backgrounds on some of them as well as the BP history. That was cool. You have some good plot ideas and it must be difficult to know where to begin writing.
I know this is an outline and it is a good idea to get these musings down and maybe start to vision how it will go. It allows you to play and build as time goes on.
I take it is a rough draft as I notice some spelling and punctuation errors like "redeem", "corporations", "employed", "purposes" etc. but they can be dealt with as you begin your piece and edit.
I do not have any ideas to offer really--it sounds complex. I like the names like the evocative Azure Wizard and the idea of the Silver Crusaders. It will be cool to know more about them as you get writing. I like the way you mix elements like the shamanic and the sci-fi techniques--makes it original and broad in scope.
Whew! You really have a big job in front of you and I wish you all the luck and muse power! Good luck with further developments.
The title is such a positive idealistic word for a loving relationship and it fits your heart-felt romantic poem effectively. You compare this love to vast things like oceans and starry skies and they relate also to your title. Good choice.
I was enchanted as I read your vivid weaving as you speak to the beloved. The ideas of natural wonders being of little consequence is well shown as you tell of the glory of the mountains and ocean sunsets so we can see them. The second last line dismisses them easily with gusto! I had to smile at the the last line and sigh. Aww!
It was lovely to read aloud with its pleasant rhyme and flow as well as the inspirational tone. I like the ideas of the mountains having regret. Punctuation served the reading as well.
Thanks for sharing this romantic tribute. This would make a great valentine! Your muse was right on!
Keep writing as you do and enjoy the birthday festivities.
I couldn't resist reading this poem as I do like dogs and Emily Dickenson too. How cool to write about a dog in the manner of this poet.
The story you portray in these two verses is heart wrenching! Poor dog. Your image of the old dog is so vivid I could see him just waiting to play again. That is people left him is also unkind. The second verse presents a dramatic danger and your take on Dickenson's line in your last part is priceless! Well done!
I enjoyed reading the poem aloud and the form is effective. Evocative vocabulary like "..curtains", "prison" and the symphony is well chosen. Interesting that you used the word "furiously: for the crows when I thought they might be happy in anticipation. maybe "raucously" or something. (it kinda reflects teh sound in "taunting" too.
The only glitches for me were bits of punctuation:
I did want to drop the period after "eyes" as I had to stop to get the gist. The next line describes the eyes so the period stops that immediate connection.
the same applies to "painfully" as he "walks...about the tree" if it means around the tree, so a period is not needed. Also you need a comma after "tree". By my reading anyway. The periods stopped the flow oddly for me.
In verse two, a comma after "celebrate" would suffice as well. Otherwise the next line just hangs there.
I felt the potency in the woven atmosphere and it moved me. Excellent contrast between the patient sad dog and the impatient crows offers drama and sparks a reaction.
Thanks for sharing this fantastic vision and craft and allowing me to play with it. It is a keeper.
Write on and enjoy the party celebrations including your own WDC anniversary.
I am so glad you decided to post this as we can always use more uplifting expressions in the world. If it helps you on a bad day, it may also inspire another. Love is being you!
In this poem you share all of your defining aspects of Love. It is wonderfully thought provoking and has some interesting ideas. I like "infinite" and "meaning" and "trust" and particularly your last line. And I like to say Love is allowance without judgement or expectation.
The format is free form, simple and suits the content. The repetition works as it can be read like an affirming mantra. The tone is upbeat. Centering on the page is appealing.
Thanks for sharing your personal vision of want love is to you. It allows the reader to respond, ponder and maybe reflect on their own understandings. It is a great conversation starter as we all have points of view that may be the same or different. Super!
Welcome to WDC Ash otto! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! I hope you are finding your way around and enjoying the WDC 15th Birthday party activities.
Wow! I could really feel the intensity in this short free style poem. The unhappiness and accusation is so clear.
The simple 3 line verse are like sobs almost and I like what you did with rhyming the last words in each verse. The repeated words in lines are emphatic and point the finger, unbelieving at first and then there is a strength in verse 5 with "the act is over". I like the metaphor of a play stage.
The format you created is so effective and serves your potent expression!
Thanks for sharing your vision and craft. It really hits the heart in an honest voice.
Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **
Wow! I really felt the potency of this free flow poem. The concept of barriers is such a relevant and interesting topic and as in your tag line, some protective walls may not be a bad thing.
I liked the cyclic element of the piece--ending where you began! Evocative.
The repetition of the word "wall" in its connotations from abstract to specific to ownership {the, this, my} is effective and emphatic and imitates the action perhaps of hitting the wall over and over. Well conceived ploy. The growing awareness that the wall is My wall and could be useful is shown in the process.
The uses of the wall, positive and negative you express with vitality and the ideas are so real to life. The use of italics gives me the idea of an inner conversation as the poet tries to understand the significance of it all and grow in awareness. It was potent when the question of how long it had been there came up.Like the beginning of waking up to a truth not seen before.
This is a vibrant heartfelt expression that is thought-provoking! The idea that there is no visible way to get through is interesting--it lends a bit of hope that there may be other ways if needs be. And maybe it will just evolve to a useful tool in consciousness, instead of the trap one thought it was. See, your poem has me pondering now. I like it!
Keep on musing and hope the gets lighter and lighter.
Enjoy WDC and the 15th Birthday party activities.
This title caught my attention on the Read A Newbie page. It is evocative and they say eyes are mirrors to the soul. It would be sad visions that a soldier might have stored there. A potent theme for writing.
You say a lot in one complex sentence! The point of view is clear and you give meaningful ideas about what one might have to do to even imagine what horrors the soldier may have seen. I like the emphatic use of the "oldest of men" would only have a child's view. Wow!
Thanks for sharing your vision and craft. I am not sure I would even want to know, and could anyone really understand another's life.
Write on and enjoy WDC! Check out Party Central on your side bar for 15th Party Events!
Wow! I saw this title on the Read A Newbie Page and recognized the title or the kid's book you analysed so here I am! What a great choice!
Your introduction sets your intent and I see your point. Wow. I will review as if it is a piece of this psuedo intellectual thing. LOL
I am really impressed with the depth of analysis in your consideration of this entertaining story for kids. Your points make so much sense about the deeper message that can be drawn from it. (You make a satire realistic.! LOL)
Your summary was effective to give us a picture of the overall repetitive tale and progression of "the more and more" ! Exploration of the symbolism is detailed and I appreciated your references to greek myth and the interesting connection of mice and men in history at the end. Brilliant idea. The discussion of the symbolism of the boy and the mouse was well conceived and written.
The language and style suits an educational study and it flowed in a coherent way with details to defend your point of view. Paragraphing was effective and made sense. Punctuation was well used. You tend to use long sentences which I could follow yet you may want to see if some can be broken down just for ease and pause. eg In paragraph 3, A period after "The Boy...nor their merit. He seeks only.." You make really good points with the information and thinking you are sharing! It kept me interested as I had never really considered such deep undercurrents, though the simpler lesson a child might see. It is humourous to them---yet like Seuss's books, the case you make for a commentary on society may relevant to make. (As you are writing as if it is true. )
Thanks for bringing this thought provoking notion to our attention. It shows a great deal of research and creative thought. I really enjoyed reading and pondering the subject. I like your style! AND You so make your point--as you intended. It is true how folks can make things mean something significant and another mind can buy in because it sounds of feasible. I could see the point within your writing of the analysis and yet in the end, it remains a fun story where a child can draw its own conclusions. Sometimes it is just fun. Like a kid runs a mom ragged much like the mouse with the boy! The author may have been letting off steam creatively. LOL
ah, the world is full of POV's , now you have mine, for what it is worth.
Keep on writing! Welcome again and enjoy the WDC party events at Party Central!
AYE! This came up on the Random Read! Something of yours I have not reviewed!! I can slay a Gorgon with this Hex review!! Thanks you!
I have never heard of a crazy poem Kyoka! Cool! Thanks for the heads up about how it works. I like the title as it has a familiar ring to it. I think there is a song from an old Nemo tale from Disney. In any case, it suits the content.
Wow! You have painted a vivid picture and the personification of the whale and its point of view is brilliant. The images like "whale mattress" and the "tale" stopping London traffic is priceless.
Your poem followed the form effectively and you did get your jibes in. It is rather humourous for a sad tale and I am sure the whale won't mind. They are wiser than we, I believe.
I am not familiar with the location and not sure what "turned him down from the Crown" meant and the leap form verse 2 to 3 I lost. the first line is not a complete thought to me.
Of course, it is supposed to be a crazy poem.
Thanks for sharing this cool form and creative vision of this sad event. Unique topic for the form too.
Wow! This is a wonderful piece of philosophy and expresses a heart's desire that is unique and far reaching. Very cool and unexpected unique content. I loved it!
The verses each convey a wish in a vivid manner and the structure is balanced in 4 line verses with lovely rhyme though I do see where you break the scheme at times. The rhythm is not so patterned yet the flow is smooth and I was not thrown out of the read when I read it aloud. Good job.
It is the first verse that is more obviously different. I like the poetic notion of catching the wind-- as it sets up that perhaps your heart felt desires can feel that difficult. Yet it throws off the idea that comes next. and adds a 5th line. MM.
The verse about asking the question really intrigued me and I liked its depth as it is something I will ponder. There are so many who will not ask and yet we may see the query underneath the hiding.
Thanks for sharing this thought-provoking heart felt expression. I really enjoyed it and it is worth a little tweak if it speaks to you to do so.
Keep on doing what you do and write on! Enjoy the party!
The c-note shop is amazing, so bright and colourful that it invites the eye and senses with ease. Your intro banner is appealing and the introduction is bold , inviting and specifically lets us know the types of cnotes are on display.
The selection showcases a variety of celebratory notes and I like that the case promotions are included! Good thinking. I notice you also have a Publishing and a general Congrats note. Super!
The pictures are bright and realistic and I really like the summery themed pics!
The bright yellow one for Preferred authors is so energetic in vibe. I love the pic! Wish I had seen it with our last batch of yellows. This would be a great one for summer Yellows!
I don't know where you got the pic with the large flipflop but that is so funny and appealing as well.
The fonts with messages are visible in styles and placements well suited to each note. The prices are reasonable and vary with each note. I will be putting this on my favourites for sure.
Thanks for sharing your creativity and community spirit in this lovely contribution! You rock!
Aw! This is so charming a tale and your weaving made me feel sad for the little mouse. (even though I constantly trying to get them out of my place.!
The imagery is vivid and I can imagine the setting and weather. Focus is on the mouse's predicament in every verse to keep it in our focus. It builds drama and elicits concern.
the first lines drew me in and appealed to the imagination. The idea of "tiny" goes with "mouse" and it is so cute.
In verse 2 you bring the cat and turn our minds to a potential worse fate. Good ploy. Yet in the end the mouse is still safe but warmth eludes him. He could freeze to death and you leave us to ponder an outcome.
I notice a couple of glitches:
"can not" needs to be one word usually. "cannot"
In the line "show winters..hold" it should read "shows winter's..." to show possession and also as the "yard" is singular, "show" doesn't sound right.
This is delightful fun and I think children would like it. Have you thought of adding it to a round of "The Littlest Poetry Contest" ! It is a keeper.
Thanks for sharing your vision and craft. Have fun at WDC 15th anniversary and your 11th! wow!!
The title of this piece caught my interest and I like the word "folly". When I saw it had a Medical genre and Know it all in the tag, I thought it would be unique. And I was right!
The "folly" you speak of here is not so funny an error either.
The short vibrant verse paints a picture of a happy go lucky person who fails to treat health seriously. Words like "skipped" is effective to give the flavour and "advilling" is marvelous as a verb. LOL I thought of how many she might have and the effect that can have over time too. "trumped" is so evocative too and says it all! I like the fast pace that jumps from the page, giving the impression that one is so busy out there that true self care and self awareness takes a back seat. So many have this I will not look at it idealism.
The last line is a sad summation in contrast to the italicized attitude phrase. Highlighting that adds drama as well.
Congrats on creating a whole story in a few lines. I imagine it is not easy and wow, it really deserves its first place ribbon!
Thanks for sharing your vision and superb crafting. Write on! Hope you are enjoying the birthday activities.
Not a fan of spiders if they are near me, but they did teach me about creativity! So I am here to check out your vision of them!
Your poem is really delightful and fun to read. The images are vivid and the use of the present tense is effective. I can really see the spider action and the simple charm of the free form is appealing. I think little kids would love this too.
I enjoyed reading it aloud with its bit of rhyme and words that almost rhyme. I think you might need a period after "spine", a semi colon ; after "divine" and a period after "rain" as they are natural endings of thoughts.
I like the repeat of "the spider" at the beginning and end and how you used the same words in a different way. Very creative and it works.
Also the rule of thumb to remember with capital letters in poems--use them consistently in a natural way or not at all but for Proper nouns like names.Same with punctuation.
Thanks for this vivid observation of the spider. I hope he will crawl away from me! I had to shoo one away from my door as I entered with groceries. He can stay outside.
Wow! I so enjoyed reading this reflective expression. It has marvelous soundscape within the prose lines that create a tonal connection to each other. I liked the metaphor of the "red fern" too.
The title is unique and I had to smile! The word occurs in the middle of the poem with a true rhyme and indicates a change in focus. Well done!
I wondered about using a word like "tone" for "feel" in the line 'brings a spiritual feel" would work better. The "o" sound also echoes with other words you use like "hold".
In the forth line, it seems like something is missing. "Yet, as I watch, read, and listen to life and growth becomes my mission."I wanted to as what happens as you did not complete the thought. If the next line completes the thought then a comma needs to be after "mission." Or if as you watch..etc, growth becomes your mission, then just drop the "and" and put a comma after "life".
The whole piece is solid in structure and so inspiring as it relates how poetry helped with a dramatic change in one's life. The tone is thankful and feels like an awakening with the heart of child like wonder being rediscovered. Beautiful expression.
Thank you so much for sharing your vision and process in such a poetic fashion in this paragraph. The theme is relevant as I am sure writing has played a key role in the changing of lives, seeking to discover their unique BEing!
Keep the ink flowing and write on! You fit right in here.
Have fun as you discover the wonderful writers and tools at WDC! Go to the left sidebar and click on PARTY central to see the cool bday events!
eyestar
JOIN the 15th Birthday party. "Invalid Item"
It is well organized and I like how the prompt is highlighted. It is an interesting quote to ponder too. I can't wait to see the stories that will be inspired. It is lovely that you added that the story could be in verse---as it can include poets.
The rules are clearly defined though the font seemed really small to me for some reason.
The prizes are phenomenal and generous in keeping with the celebratory nature of the week long event! And even more wonderful that each entry gets a party favour gp sum!
All is in order and I hope this review gives this terrific contribution a little plug!!
Way to rock! Thanks for all you do to contribute to the shine of WDC!
I was lured by your evocative title, which brought my imagination to life! I like the idea of "dwellers" rather than the creepy night "crawlers" which also came to my mind.
The theme of inability to sleep I am sure is a common one. I know I can relate to the hyper mind! It is a perfect theme for writing and I enjoyed your take on the issue.
Beginning with questions is an inviting way to begin as it drew me into the conversation, allowing me to consider my own ponderings. Sometimes when I can't sleep with no reason, I do ask why? why?
It is interesting you include the readers in your first question using "us" night dwellers. Unless of course you are referring to all of your own voices! the Royal "we". Either way it works, especially if we have similar experiences.
I wondered about the first line as there are really two questions there so should you use a question mark after "night dwellers". or I had the though of combining it with the word "that" instead of "why do".
I liked the image in the third line "awakened mind to whisper". Awesome. The fourth line is not a complete sentence. Maybe if you move it up with the sentence before--as it seems to continue from that. Then make the "I love to..." a new paragraph as it does warrant one with the new idea relating a more personal experience.
I really enjoyed the way you expressed these ideas with words like "riddled", and a mind at "maximum capacity". Brilliant.
Thanks for sharing this thought provoking item and allowing me to play and ponder. Take what works for you and dump the rest! All is POV!
Keep on writing and enjoy the WDC 15th Birthday party!
I often wonder: What if we already Know all things and it is the mind, so filled with all we have been taught, will not let us expand to Know that we know.
I really like the title as I scrolled the Read A Newbie Page! It has so many connotations and brought to mind many examples. I was curious about your ponderings.
Your first paragraph had vivid images of things that cause discomfort and the idea of night being when they arise the most--whether true night or a dark time psychologically.
It is inspiring reminder that light does indeed come, if we can stay aware.
I noticed a few typos: : "you'll feel ike" >>"like" and you used "may" twice in the second paragraph.
Also, I am wondering if your first paragraph needs clarity. You mention the "fear,,,etc' but it seems to be missing something. Like at night, the fear heightens, monsters.....scarey stories come to mind..." It just not seem complete somehow.
This little bit of wisdom encourages hope in dark times, a very relevant theme!
Thanks for sharing your vision and craft! Keep on writing!
eyestar
You might have fun with "Invalid Item" for some light heartedness!
"Invalid Item" Take a guess!
Oh my gosh! This is too funny! Well, not about your toe and funny bone but the experience. From your weaving I could quite imagine the whole episode and happy you did not choke yourself. I could just see you in your hoodie eating cereal like a kid! Not exactly breakfast of champions.
I really enjoyed the style of writing and was entertained by your vivid description from the "I" point of view. It has a dramatic edge and added poetic flair in lines like " a beam of light from heaven's gate" in contrast with the "..wasting." Such an evocative metaphor! Well done.
The intermittent asides are priceless and so how a mind can be thinking in many directions at once. I had to laugh at the one that the bowl might be distracting us. LOL The Disclaimer made me giggle too. "So Professional!" Good one! You have a cool way of seeing things!
I can relate to that being not hungry to starving feeling too. Just the time when something sweet is called for.
The story flowed coherently and kept me engaged from start to finish! I don't find it easy to relate reality with an ease, being serious yet comical in the same time. I loved it!
Thanks for sharing your vision and gift! It made my evening! Enjoy the WDC party!
I love dreamcatchers and even made one before so I was drawn to your title! The idea of a dreamcatcher being full is also intriguing and a cool thought!
Wow! Your weaving is just scarey to ponder and imaginative as well. Puts me in mind of Hitchcock's story of the spider who kept coming back larger in the man's mind. I would not want to be your character.
It is amazing to get a whole story down in so few words but your setting, background and character are set quickly and I can imagine his sleep. Contrast in the second paragraph paints a darker picture with descriptive clarity. I like how you leave room for us to imagine our own terrors of "other captives".
We are left to imagine in the end and it is not hard. LOL I like the repeated words here as emphatic of the epic proportions of the fear. The last phrase speaks volumes in my imagination. Whew!
It was easy to follow your weave and the only thing I thought was you might want to change adverbs to more vivid descriptors. eg. "appreciatively" is a bit unwieldy. I am not a flash writer but I have heard that adverbs are not the best.
Still, it makes for a lively read in which imaginations can be activated! At least there were no spiders,...
Thanks for sharing your vision and craft! Have a great time at WDC 15th Birthday bash!
I was drawn by the fun title and theme so it makes a great hook! As I read it I see it is an original and creative way to advertise an event at WDC! I was also curious about the poem form as I had not heard of it.
The image of friends who bowl together is vivid in the first verse and sets us up for the idea of community as you move into the second verse about a contest for reviewing. Well done in contrast and similarity! The second verse has a distinct invitation to not miss out and the reasons to "run" there! Good show! Should "won" be "win" or to reflect the tense.
The author's note about the form is handy and good to know. I think it would be better at the bottom of the item so your lovely crafting has top billing! I see you have constructed the form effectively even to doing the bit of extra rhyme from verse 1 to 2. (though "reviews", "muse" has s sound that "you" and "too: do not. I just noticed it was a close match and maybe not intentional.
It is impressive to have the first words of each line rhyme too. Wow! I especially enjoyed the first verse. It flowed smoothly but for the last line. The words "each week" seemed to slow it down.
The second verse had a bit of a different pace and flow as you used longer lines. I realize the form does not call for any specific rhythm. I just noticed that the flow was not similar to the first verse. I do not know if coherence with each verse is a requirement even though no direct format is needed.
I appreciate the effort it took to get the theme and form flowing together! It was fun to read and study. Thanks for sharing your vision and love of bowling!
Hiya thing! Welcome to WDC Power!
I had to peek as I added this to our "WDC's 15th Birthday Celebration Fun Page" and the title is so appealing and fun! You are so creative using your persona too. I love it! I had to laugh that you need your three hands. LOL
The game page is inviting with its fun and interesting glyphs and readable fonts. They really add a variety of flavours to the the aura of the game. I grinned at ZING and the moving thing is childlike. I had the idea that any genre can be included.{18+ of course}
It is well organized with clearly defined parameters and targets. I can't wait to begin! I like how each task is specific and you include examples of exactly how to post with bitem. Even newbies can see it easily. The range of prizes is cool too!
Repeating the rule about posting all in one post is effective and clear as it takes the brain a few times to get it, at times. It so makes it easier on the the scroller not to miss anything too.
This is truly unique and I think it is thoughtful how you added "product Reviews" as it is not something folks often think to do! Adding an article on how to do them is priceless and so convenient as a resource. Brilliant idea.
Thanks for creating this gem for the WDC 15th Birthday bash!
Party on!
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 1.33 seconds at 6:54am on Jul 01, 2024 via server web1.
| (4.5)
| (4.0)
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
My review has been submitted for consideration in "
Welcome Gentleman to WDC! 
You use the word WE so it may include your other secret service folks! Yet, I bet it is you two--or you'd miss the pleasure of gifting surprises.
And it is your party!
I have so many ..er... more vital items to watch at the moment, but I do pop in and see who is rocking, especially great to see newbies! I am trying to get the word out to them to pop in and try some easy games. Everyone can review, right? 
Thanks for sharing this romantic tribute. This would make a great valentine! 
That is people left him is also unkind. The second verse presents a dramatic danger and your take on Dickenson's line in your last part is priceless! Well done!
Wow! I could really feel the intensity in this short free style poem. The unhappiness and accusation is so clear. 
I liked the cyclic element of the piece--ending where you began! Evocative.
Well conceived ploy. The growing awareness that the wall is My wall and could be useful is shown in the process.
This title caught my attention on the Read A Newbie page. It is evocative and they say eyes are mirrors to the soul. It would be sad visions that a soldier might have stored there. A potent theme for writing. 
I am really impressed with the depth of analysis in your consideration of this entertaining story for kids. Your points make so much sense about the deeper message that can be drawn from it. (You make a satire realistic.! LOL)
Your summary was effective to give us a picture of the overall repetitive tale and progression of "the more and more" !
)
The author may have been letting off steam creatively. LOL
Welcome again and enjoy the WDC party events at Party Central!
Your poem followed the form effectively and you did get your jibes in. It is rather humourous for a sad tale and I am sure the whale won't mind. They are wiser than we, I believe.
the first line is not a complete thought to me.
The verse about asking the question really intrigued me and I liked its depth as it is something I will ponder. There are so many who will not ask and yet we may see the query underneath the hiding. 
The prices are reasonable and vary with each note. 
In verse 2 you bring the cat and turn our minds to a potential worse fate. 
Good ploy. Yet in the end the mouse is still safe but warmth eludes him. He could freeze to death and you leave us to ponder an outcome.
Not a fan of spiders if they are near me, but they did teach me about creativity! 
I enjoyed reading it aloud with its bit of rhyme and words that almost rhyme. I think you might need a period after "spine", a semi colon ; after "divine" and a period after "rain" as they are natural endings of thoughts.
Also the rule of thumb to remember with capital letters in poems--use them consistently in a natural way or not at all but for Proper nouns like names.Same with punctuation. 
It was fun to read and study. Thanks for sharing your vision and love of bowling! 
