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Review of The Goofing Man  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloonr* Welcome to WDC verac! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you!

Wow! This is a potent expression about this tragic event! The title is evocative and describes your main character with an interesting term.

The poem is easy to follow in 4 line verses that tell a sad tale of how cigarettes and addiction cause losses that cannot be replaced. It is vivid in images and the rhymes are well composed. Verse one portrays the man so clearly and I like the describing "d" words! *Wink*

It flowed well when I read it aloud though there was one places that might be tweaked.
IN verse 4 I noticed one line is much longer than the rest. I wonder if changing it to 'as the smoke creeps" just to have it flow more consistently with the rest. *Wink*

It evoked many reactions as it caused me to think of the wasted lives-sadness, anger at stupidity, and compassion at the unawareness of people and how they get caught up in the addictive cycles, that perhaps began because of their own trama. *Sad*

Your poem has a relevant message. Thanks for sharing such a personal expression. *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar


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Review of Sister  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC Debbie! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you!*Delight*

I found this lovely poem on the Read A Newbie page and as I have 3 sisters, I thought I could relate to your theme. *Smile*

I like the comparison to the symbolic rose to show how close the sisters are. It is a unique way to describe the relationship.

The poem is fun and dynamic in its free form. The writing is evocative. Using italics aids the read and identifies that there could be two voices. Your author's note is fascinating and you have really captured this vision vividly! *Thumbsup*

I enjoyed reading the brief verse aloud for its gentle tone and soft sounds. The words "entwined" and "wilt" assist the painting of the picture effectively. The aura is warm and caring.

This is a wonderful idealistic notion that I wish would be true for more sisters! Maybe at a deep energetic level it is felt, even when life circumstances are not conducive to a strong bond. *Sad*

Thanks for sharing this potent tribute to sisterhood! *Heart*

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
Woman in white SP About Reviewing signature.

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1153
Review of Words  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


*Balloonr* HI Maxwell. Your title in its general theme evokes curiosity as I wanted to see what words meant to you. This expression is potent and I enjoyed the philosophical flavour. *Smile* I am not sure how the title reflects your wonderful dream like vision, except at the end where you speak of words.

*Star* I enjoyed the ideas and phrases here and it feels like part poetry, part prose. Your first lines drew me in and you have some lovely vivid images like "sweet like blended honey" and "worn copper clasped" and "forgotten..tongue"! Wonderful. I liked the alliteration in the first verse.

*Fairy* The images are dream like and I felt a yearning for a better place. I liked the concept of Control as the "dark dwelling". Deep! This a moving piece with deep undercurrents. I felt the search and as sense of escape. Dreaming is better than watching the chaos of this world. The idea that moving on to that realm will be more helpful--"watching over" as a kind of angel, is interesting too.

*Moon* The format is confusing as you begin in the past with a dream and then the next part is the present and the last part speaks of Words. I followed up to the "Harm" and then felt thrown out of the piece as I could not figure out how the last bit connects. *Confused* I am not seeing it yet---so I may need to ponder more. The ideas are valueable--it is just out of sync with flow to me.

*Glasses* A few minor glitches:
I noticed you don't need a semi colon after "blended" to go with "honey".
"thats clasped" needs to be "that's.."

The line "letting memories...picture perfect" feels awkward. "letting memories what? Are you using "picture" as a verb". As I understand it anyway.

*Balloonr* The last line is evocative and gives pause to ponder. *Thumbsup* The metaphor of the child finding the penny is brilliant too.

You have a unique way of expressing. Thank you for sharing your vision! *Starstruck*

PS> Maybe add a genre like Philosophy rather than Other---may get more views. *Smile*

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
Woman in white SP About Reviewing signature.
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Review of Puppy  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Fire* Hiya Marci. This review is part of yourNuclear Packagefrom "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.. A short little extra one as It popped up on the random reads and I couldn't resist it!

*Dog1* Oh, this piece is such a precious Pleiades about a puppy!
The image is perfectly painted so I can perceive the puppy and its performances! *Delight*
The Pleiades pattern is well produced and punctuation provided proper pauses in the flow.

Your vocabulary was perfect for describing the actions and the use of P alliteration was playful and polished! "Puttering" and "pint-size" is perfectly delightful! I really enjoyed this vision. *Star*

Keep on creating these gems! Write on!

eyestar
gifted sig from Lornda


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Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Dark Society  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloonp* Welcome Gentleman to WDC! *Delight*
This review is being given as part of the "Black Magic Birthday Review Bash" Open in new Window., presented by "The Dark Society" Open in new Window.


Your item popped up on the Random Reads page and lucky me as I like philosophical themes. I have to so agree with the heaviness of the word "should". It makes everything a burden!

The short essay is well composed as you relate how the trap of the should be point of view and comparisons to others' pains can prevent one from really healing their own. The process is shown logically and I had no trouble following your thoughts. *Thumbsup*

I like the idea that there are no worse or lesser problems as each person is an individual and what is problematic for them can be as bad for them, as someone with apparently worse problems is for the other person. I mean, I could not perhaps deal with as much trauma in the way another can.
Our paths and our experiences are our own.

I wonder if examples would help illustrate your points in a deeper way and expanding it. I think it has an important message. The title is a good hook and sparks a question.

In my world, I like to use the word allowance instead of acceptance as the latter word gives the notion something is wrong or cannot be changed. Allowance is more open---we allow ourselves to just be with the feelings, situation without judgement and thus more space to see possibilities. I think adding a point about how judgement is also a detrimental factor. If we see others as worse off--that is a judgement and then the "shouldn't feel so bad" comes in as you say. If we give up judgement, maybe that would create more change.

Wow! I enjoyed reading your work as it spurred food for thought. I hope more folks see this piece of wisdom--which feels like it comes from experience. *Star* It would be very helpful as a first step! Thanks for sharing and allowing me my little Point of view.


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Review of Baby Animals  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Fire* Hiya Lisa! This review is part of yourNuclear Packagefrom "Invalid Item" Open in new Window./*Fire*

*Balloonp* Aw! This children's poem is so charming and cute. It was a delight to read with it easy flow and rhyming sounds. Words like "munches" and "dudes" and "slop" are fun!

Each verse described vividly a little creature and the aspect you chose for each one was specific as a quality of the animal. The pace was quick and it felt free in its vibe and I could tell that you have an appreciation for each one. *Heart*

I noticed some verses have no punctuation while others do. I think consistency in this area is key.*Wink* An easy tweak! Inside your lines, there seem to be places where a comma could go and yet as I read it, it did not throw me off. eg. "lightning, don't you see"

I laughed at lines about the pig not stinking. I liked the question format here.
And when you said "not some slop" I laughed as I thought of the rabbit being more picky and would not stoop to slop. LOL I liked the decorative little glyphs too.

I noticed the verses 2 and 3 tended to have shorter lines than the rest, so it doesn't sound consistent in flow, but perhaps it is not a defined form. It still works as a delightful romp and the vivid lively pictures are lovable. Kids will enjoy the antics.

Thanks for sharing your charming vision that offered a fun way to see animals.*Starstruck* I loved and you inspire me.

eyestar
gifted sig from Lornda


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Review of 7-11  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Dark Society  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Balloonp* Hiya The Story Mistress! Happy 15th! This review is being given as part of the "Black Magic Birthday Review Bash" Open in new Window., presented by "The Dark Society" Open in new Window.

Hey I needed this Hex to destroy my 10th Leviathan! The wreak havoc and spread negativity from Noire's lair and we just WILL not have it around this space of light.*Fire**Wand*

I always admire your organizational skill to keep track of the million things you do! It keeps you sane I bet (well maybe) to have this handy little list so that even when SM adds his two cents, you can see what he's done! Hope he remembers. *Wink* You use the word WE so it may include your other secret service folks! Yet, I bet it is you two--or you'd miss the pleasure of gifting surprises.*Gift2* And it is your party!

The page is cheerful and the glyph banner speaking loudly the grand theme. The explanation is clear and I like how you highlight the probability number of 105 chances in black and in your title banner. *Thumbsup*

It is fun to scroll and see who our spectacular reviewers of each day are, especially as you post immediately at times during the day. And no, it is not on my favs yet. *Facepalm* I have so many ..er... more vital items to watch at the moment, but I do pop in and see who is rocking, especially great to see newbies! I am trying to get the word out to them to pop in and try some easy games. Everyone can review, right? *Smile*

This event is very celebratory and generous thank you to your WDC peeps. And the unknown and unexpected surprise element is exciting! *Wand* So carry on!

Thanks for all you BE and DO on our behalf!*Heart*

And hey, you can always leave a little something in "All About Birthdays Free for all!" Open in new Window. You must have a memorable or inventive birthday thing! You have kids! *ballooner* It can be brief. Better still pass the job to SM! LOL kidding! I know you are busy so have fun!
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Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Dark Society  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
*Balloonp* Hiya MysticalPhoenix!
This review is being given as part of the "Black Magic Birthday Review Bash" Open in new Window., presented by "The Dark Society" Open in new Window.
and

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


Wow! I was drawn to the cool title as it promises to have a fascinating set of heros. *Smile*
I do not know much about writing in this genre and it is amazing how many facets you have to bring together to create your world.

You have some interesting character sketches and detailed backgrounds on some of them as well as the BP history. That was cool. You have some good plot ideas and it must be difficult to know where to begin writing.

I know this is an outline and it is a good idea to get these musings down and maybe start to vision how it will go. It allows you to play and build as time goes on.
I take it is a rough draft as I notice some spelling and punctuation errors like "redeem", "corporations", "employed", "purposes" etc. but they can be dealt with as you begin your piece and edit. *Wink*

I do not have any ideas to offer really--it sounds complex. I like the names like the evocative Azure Wizard and the idea of the Silver Crusaders. It will be cool to know more about them as you get writing. I like the way you mix elements like the shamanic and the sci-fi techniques--makes it original and broad in scope.

Whew! You really have a big job in front of you and I wish you all the luck and muse power! *Wand* Good luck with further developments.

Write on and enjoy the WDC party festivities! *Balloonr*


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Review of Endless  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Dark Society  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Balloonp* Hiya Richard De Young! Happy 10 years!
This review is being given as part of the "Black Magic Birthday Review Bash" Open in new Window., presented by "The Dark Society" Open in new Window.
and

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


*Heart* The title is such a positive idealistic word for a loving relationship and it fits your heart-felt romantic poem effectively. You compare this love to vast things like oceans and starry skies and they relate also to your title. Good choice.

*Heart* I was enchanted as I read your vivid weaving as you speak to the beloved. The ideas of natural wonders being of little consequence is well shown as you tell of the glory of the mountains and ocean sunsets so we can see them. The second last line dismisses them easily with gusto! I had to smile at the the last line and sigh. Aww! *Thumbsup*

*Heart* It was lovely to read aloud with its pleasant rhyme and flow as well as the inspirational tone. I like the ideas of the mountains having regret. *Smile* Punctuation served the reading as well.

*Starstruck* Thanks for sharing this romantic tribute. This would make a great valentine! *Heart* Your muse was right on!

Keep writing as you do and enjoy the birthday festivities. *Balloonr*


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Review of Dog  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Dark Society  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Balloonp* Hiya retaricus! This review is being given as part of the "Black Magic Birthday Review Bash" Open in new Window., presented by "The Dark Society" Open in new Window.
and

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


I couldn't resist reading this poem as I do like dogs and Emily Dickenson too. How cool to write about a dog in the manner of this poet. *Thumbsup*

The story you portray in these two verses is heart wrenching! Poor dog. Your image of the old dog is so vivid I could see him just waiting to play again. *Sad* That is people left him is also unkind. The second verse presents a dramatic danger and your take on Dickenson's line in your last part is priceless! Well done!

I enjoyed reading the poem aloud and the form is effective. Evocative vocabulary like "..curtains", "prison" and the symphony is well chosen. Interesting that you used the word "furiously: for the crows when I thought they might be happy in anticipation. maybe "raucously" or something. (it kinda reflects teh sound in "taunting" too.

The only glitches for me were bits of punctuation:
I did want to drop the period after "eyes" as I had to stop to get the gist. The next line describes the eyes so the period stops that immediate connection.
the same applies to "painfully" as he "walks...about the tree" if it means around the tree, so a period is not needed. Also you need a comma after "tree". By my reading anyway. The periods stopped the flow oddly for me.
In verse two, a comma after "celebrate" would suffice as well. Otherwise the next line just hangs there. *Wink*

I felt the potency in the woven atmosphere and it moved me. Excellent contrast between the patient sad dog and the impatient crows offers drama and sparks a reaction.

Thanks for sharing this fantastic vision and craft and allowing me to play with it. It is a keeper. *Starstruck*

Write on and enjoy the party celebrations including your own WDC anniversary.*Balloonp*


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Review of Love to Me  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Dark Society  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC Furlong! I hope you are finding your way around and having fun! *Delight*
This review is being given as part of the "Black Magic Birthday Review Bash" Open in new Window., presented by "The Dark Society" Open in new Window.
.

*Heart*I am so glad you decided to post this as we can always use more uplifting expressions in the world. If it helps you on a bad day, it may also inspire another. Love is being you!*Star*

In this poem you share all of your defining aspects of Love. It is wonderfully thought provoking and has some interesting ideas. I like "infinite" and "meaning" and "trust" and particularly your last line. *Thumbsup* And I like to say Love is allowance without judgement or expectation. *Smile*

The format is free form, simple and suits the content. The repetition works as it can be read like an affirming mantra. The tone is upbeat. Centering on the page is appealing.

Thanks for sharing your personal vision of want love is to you. It allows the reader to respond, ponder and maybe reflect on their own understandings. It is a great conversation starter as we all have points of view that may be the same or different. Super!*Starstruck*

Keep on writing and have fun here at WDC! *Balloonp*


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Review of You Said  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC Ash otto! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! I hope you are finding your way around and enjoying the WDC 15th Birthday party activities.*Candlep*

*Fairy* Wow! I could really feel the intensity in this short free style poem. The unhappiness and accusation is so clear. *Star*

The simple 3 line verse are like sobs almost and I like what you did with rhyming the last words in each verse. The repeated words in lines are emphatic and point the finger, unbelieving at first and then there is a strength in verse 5 with "the act is over". I like the metaphor of a play stage.

The format you created is so effective and serves your potent expression! *Star*

Thanks for sharing your vision and craft. It really hits the heart in an honest voice. *Smile*

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **


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Review of Barrier  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Dark Society  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloonp* Welcome N. S. Almonte to WDC! *Delight* This review is being given as part of the "Black Magic Birthday Review Bash" Open in new Window., presented by "The Dark Society" Open in new Window.


*Delight* Wow! I really felt the potency of this free flow poem. The concept of barriers is such a relevant and interesting topic and as in your tag line, some protective walls may not be a bad thing. *Smile*

*Castle*I liked the cyclic element of the piece--ending where you began! Evocative.
The repetition of the word "wall" in its connotations from abstract to specific to ownership {the, this, my} is effective and emphatic and imitates the action perhaps of hitting the wall over and over. *Headbang* Well conceived ploy. The growing awareness that the wall is My wall and could be useful is shown in the process.

*Headbang*The uses of the wall, positive and negative you express with vitality and the ideas are so real to life. The use of italics gives me the idea of an inner conversation as the poet tries to understand the significance of it all and grow in awareness. It was potent when the question of how long it had been there came up.Like the beginning of waking up to a truth not seen before. *Thumbsup*

*Starstruck* This is a vibrant heartfelt expression that is thought-provoking! The idea that there is no visible way to get through is interesting--it lends a bit of hope that there may be other ways if needs be. And maybe it will just evolve to a useful tool in consciousness, instead of the trap one thought it was. *Wink* See, your poem has me pondering now. I like it!

Keep on musing and hope the *Headbang* gets lighter and lighter. *Wink*
Enjoy WDC and the 15th Birthday party activities.


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Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Dark Society  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC Matt! Hope you are finding your way around. This review is being given as part of the "Black Magic Birthday Review Bash" Open in new Window., presented by "The Dark Society" Open in new Window.


*Balloonb* This title caught my attention on the Read A Newbie page. It is evocative and they say eyes are mirrors to the soul. It would be sad visions that a soldier might have stored there. A potent theme for writing. *Thumbsup*

*Balloonr* You say a lot in one complex sentence! The point of view is clear and you give meaningful ideas about what one might have to do to even imagine what horrors the soldier may have seen. I like the emphatic use of the "oldest of men" would only have a child's view. Wow!

*Star*Thanks for sharing your vision and craft. I am not sure I would even want to know, and could anyone really understand another's life.

Write on and enjoy WDC! Check out Party Central on your side bar for 15th Party Events! *Balloonr*


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Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Dark Society  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC V. A.Jenkins! This review is being given as part of the "Black Magic Birthday Review Bash" Open in new Window., presented by "The Dark Society" Open in new Window.


*Fairy* Wow! I saw this title on the Read A Newbie Page and recognized the title or the kid's book you analysed so here I am! What a great choice!

Your introduction sets your intent and I see your point. Wow. I will review as if it is a piece of this psuedo intellectual thing. LOL

*Fairy2* I am really impressed with the depth of analysis in your consideration of this entertaining story for kids. Your points make so much sense about the deeper message that can be drawn from it. (You make a satire realistic.! LOL)

*Balloong* Your summary was effective to give us a picture of the overall repetitive tale and progression of "the more and more" !*Thumbsup* Exploration of the symbolism is detailed and I appreciated your references to greek myth and the interesting connection of mice and men in history at the end. Brilliant idea. The discussion of the symbolism of the boy and the mouse was well conceived and written.

*Fairy* The language and style suits an educational study and it flowed in a coherent way with details to defend your point of view. Paragraphing was effective and made sense. Punctuation was well used. You tend to use long sentences which I could follow yet you may want to see if some can be broken down just for ease and pause. eg In paragraph 3, A period after "The Boy...nor their merit. He seeks only.." You make really good points with the information and thinking you are sharing! It kept me interested as I had never really considered such deep undercurrents, though the simpler lesson a child might see. It is humourous to them---yet like Seuss's books, the case you make for a commentary on society may relevant to make. (As you are writing as if it is true. *Laugh*)

Thanks for bringing this thought provoking notion to our attention. It shows a great deal of research and creative thought. I really enjoyed reading and pondering the subject. I like your style! *Star* AND You so make your point--as you intended. It is true how folks can make things mean something significant and another mind can buy in because it sounds of feasible. I could see the point within your writing of the analysis and yet in the end, it remains a fun story where a child can draw its own conclusions. Sometimes it is just fun. Like a kid runs a mom ragged much like the mouse with the boy! *Bigsmile* The author may have been letting off steam creatively. LOL
ah, the world is full of POV's , now you have mine, for what it is worth. *Fairy3*

Keep on writing! *Quill* Welcome again and enjoy the WDC party events at Party Central!

eyestar
gifted sig from Lornda


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Dark Society  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Balloonp* Hiya Joy! This review is being given as part of the "Black Magic Birthday Review Bash" Open in new Window., presented by "The Dark Society" Open in new Window.


*Fairy* AYE! This came up on the Random Read! Something of yours I have not reviewed!!*Bigsmile* I can slay a Gorgon with this Hex review!! Thanks you!

*Fairy2* I have never heard of a crazy poem Kyoka! Cool! Thanks for the heads up about how it works. I like the title as it has a familiar ring to it. I think there is a song from an old Nemo tale from Disney. *Wink* In any case, it suits the content.

*Fairy3* Wow! You have painted a vivid picture and the personification of the whale and its point of view is brilliant. The images like "whale mattress" and the "tale" stopping London traffic is priceless.

*Fairyl* Your poem followed the form effectively and you did get your jibes in. It is rather humourous for a sad tale and I am sure the whale won't mind. They are wiser than we, I believe.

I am not familiar with the location and not sure what "turned him down from the Crown" meant and the leap form verse 2 to 3 I lost. *Confused* the first line is not a complete thought to me.
Of course, it is supposed to be a crazy poem. *Laugh*

*Balloonr*Thanks for sharing this cool form and creative vision of this sad event. Unique topic for the form too. *Star*

Carry on with the Party! *Cake*
How about adding your flair in "All About Birthdays Free for all!" Open in new Window.? *Wink*

eyestar
gifted sig from Lornda


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review of Heart's Desire  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Dark Society  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloonp* Hiya Miss Invisible!This review is being given as part of the "Black Magic Birthday Review Bash" Open in new Window., presented by "The Dark Society" Open in new Window.
and

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


*Balloong*Wow! This is a wonderful piece of philosophy and expresses a heart's desire that is unique and far reaching. Very cool and unexpected unique content. I loved it! *Star*

*Balloonr* The verses each convey a wish in a vivid manner and the structure is balanced in 4 line verses with lovely rhyme though I do see where you break the scheme at times. The rhythm is not so patterned yet the flow is smooth and I was not thrown out of the read when I read it aloud. Good job.
It is the first verse that is more obviously different. I like the poetic notion of catching the wind-- as it sets up that perhaps your heart felt desires can feel that difficult. Yet it throws off the idea that comes next. and adds a 5th line. MM.*Wink*

*Balloony* The verse about asking the question really intrigued me and I liked its depth as it is something I will ponder. There are so many who will not ask and yet we may see the query underneath the hiding.

*Star* Thanks for sharing this thought-provoking heart felt expression. I really enjoyed it and it is worth a little tweak if it speaks to you to do so.

Keep on doing what you do and write on!*Quill* Enjoy the party! *Balloonp*

eyestar
gifted sig from Lornda


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1168
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Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Dark Society  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Balloonp* Hiya Jellyfish! Slayed any imps lately? *Balloonr* This review is being given as part of the "Black Magic Birthday Review Bash" Open in new Window., presented by "The Dark Society" Open in new Window.
Happy WDC Anniversary!!

*Bigsmile* The c-note shop is amazing, so bright and colourful that it invites the eye and senses with ease. Your intro banner is appealing and the introduction is bold , inviting and specifically lets us know the types of cnotes are on display.
The selection showcases a variety of celebratory notes and I like that the case promotions are included! Good thinking. I notice you also have a Publishing and a general Congrats note. Super!

*Balloong* The pictures are bright and realistic and I really like the summery themed pics!
The bright yellow one for Preferred authors is so energetic in vibe. I love the pic! Wish I had seen it with our last batch of yellows. This would be a great one for summer Yellows! *Starstruck*
I don't know where you got the pic with the large flipflop but that is so funny and appealing as well.*Cool*

*Fairy* The fonts with messages are visible in styles and placements well suited to each note. *Thumbsup*
*Balloonv* The prices are reasonable and vary with each note. *Cool* I will be putting this on my favourites for sure.

*Starstruck* Thanks for sharing your creativity and community spirit in this lovely contribution! You rock! *Music1*

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


"All About Birthdays Free for all!" Open in new Window. Make sure you add your flair here.*Wink*
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Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Dark Society  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Balloonp* Hiya Fran! This review is being given as part of the "Black Magic Birthday Review Bash" Open in new Window., presented by "The Dark Society" Open in new Window.


Wow! I just found this cool reference in your port and couldn't wait to read it! Just now I see the link that seems to suggest it was created by another wise author and you liked it so much you added it here. *Cool* Is it your rendition and synthesis of what you learned.

So I review your wisdom in making in handy and available for the community in case we need a boost in dealing with poetry from two angles. *Star* The points about posting are meaninful.

The lists are thorough with picky details that one might forget! I especially like the the points about reviewing as so many people shy away from poems as they fear their lack of knowledge.
These questions can also help reviewers as well as writers as they are simple considerations that anyone could access. *Star*

I can see why you would like to have these handy. Turtle ~ KanyáthƐko:wa:h Author IconMail Icon is a master!*Star*

Thanks for sharing such wisdom. It makes you a teacher too. *Wink*

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Review of Meditation  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Fire* Hiya Fran! This review is the last part of yourNuclear Packagefrom "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.. *Balloonr*

*Balloong*I like to meditate so I chose this title, which encapsulates your poem's theme. The first line is interesting to me as I never thought of using the word "meditation" as an adjective. *Cool* The first line gives the action and the result.

*Balloonv* The form reminds me of japanese form with its individual ideas floating in phrases. I like it. The weave gives the benefits of meditation in clear manner.

*Balloony* I liked the heavy sound of "minds of troubles" as contrast to the smooth sound of "peace" and the flowy nature of the last line as I read aloud the "oo" sounds. Well chosen vocabulary.

*Balloono* The message is simply expressed and from experience I know that in the empty space, new awareness can come, even beyond what the mind tries to conclude. LOL

*Starstruck*Thanks for this wonderful insight and tribute to the power of meditation. It is something we can all use in this busy world so maybe we can find a better way! *Heart*

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Review of Unwanted Laughter  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Fire* Hiya Fran! Having a good time at the Birthday Bash? This review is part of yourNuclear Packagefrom "Invalid Item" Open in new Window..*Fire*

*Fairy* This title attracted my attention as it sparked my curiosity: like when would laughter be unwanted and why? I thought of all the situations and had to check out your experience. *Laugh*

*Fairy2* Cute. This truly captures the process of trying to be mad when someone is trying to get you out of it! The words "sly" and "sunshine" are descriptive and say alot when you only have 3 line poem. Good choice. I really like the last line as synonym for laughter. Brilliant.
That the laugh is "eager" gives the idea that it has more control than your anger does and "burst" is vivid and alive. I see it breaking anger's spell and the tension of it. It opens the situation to a lighter POV and outcome perhaps. I think of the addage: How important is it? *Thumbsup*

*Fairy3* The 3 line format reminds me of senryu form. Well done!

*Starstruck* I really enjoyed entering this vision and being able to add my own ponderings to the piece. I can relate to my own situations as you do not share specifics. *Cool*
Thanks for sharing your unique expression and craft. It was fun to read!

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Review of cold  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Dark Society  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Balloonp* Hiya Shadowcaster. Happy Anniversary!This review is being given as part of the "Black Magic Birthday Review Bash" Open in new Window., presented by "The Dark Society" Open in new Window.


*Balloonr* Aw! This is so charming a tale and your weaving made me feel sad for the little mouse. (even though I constantly trying to get them out of my place.! *Smirk*

*Balloonv* The imagery is vivid and I can imagine the setting and weather. Focus is on the mouse's predicament in every verse to keep it in our focus. It builds drama and elicits concern. *Thumbsup*
the first lines drew me in and appealed to the imagination. The idea of "tiny" goes with "mouse" and it is so cute.

*Balloono* In verse 2 you bring the cat and turn our minds to a potential worse fate. *Shock* Good ploy. Yet in the end the mouse is still safe but warmth eludes him. He could freeze to death and you leave us to ponder an outcome.

*Balloonb* I notice a couple of glitches:
"can not" needs to be one word usually. "cannot"
In the line "show winters..hold" it should read "shows winter's..." to show possession and also as the "yard" is singular, "show" doesn't sound right. *Wink*

*Starstruck* This is delightful fun and I think children would like it. Have you thought of adding it to a round of "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.! It is a keeper.

Thanks for sharing your vision and craft. Have fun at WDC 15th anniversary and your 11th! wow!!*Cake*

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


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Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Dark Society  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*Balloonp* Happy Account Anniversary Carol! Double celebration. *Balloong* This review is being given as part of the "Black Magic Birthday Review Bash" Open in new Window., presented by "The Dark Society" Open in new Window.


*Balloonp* The title of this piece caught my interest and I like the word "folly". When I saw it had a Medical genre and Know it all in the tag, I thought it would be unique.*Smile* And I was right!

*Balloong* The "folly" you speak of here is not so funny an error either.

*Balloonr* The short vibrant verse paints a picture of a happy go lucky person who fails to treat health seriously. Words like "skipped" is effective to give the flavour and "advilling" is marvelous as a verb. LOL I thought of how many she might have and the effect that can have over time too. "trumped" is so evocative too and says it all! I like the fast pace that jumps from the page, giving the impression that one is so busy out there that true self care and self awareness takes a back seat. So many have this I will not look at it idealism.

*Balloony* The last line is a sad summation in contrast to the italicized attitude phrase. Highlighting that adds drama as well.

*Balloonb* Congrats on creating a whole story in a few lines. I imagine it is not easy and wow, it really deserves its first place ribbon! *Starstruck*

*Star*Thanks for sharing your vision and superb crafting. Write on! Hope you are enjoying the birthday activities.

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


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Review of The Spider  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Dark Society  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloonp* Hiya DruidMooncat! This review is being given as part of the "Black Magic Birthday Review Bash" Open in new Window., presented by "The Dark Society" Open in new Window.


*Spider*Not a fan of spiders if they are near me, but they did teach me about creativity! *Smile* So I am here to check out your vision of them!

*Spider* Your poem is really delightful and fun to read. The images are vivid and the use of the present tense is effective. I can really see the spider action and the simple charm of the free form is appealing. I think little kids would love this too.*Smile*

*Web1*I enjoyed reading it aloud with its bit of rhyme and words that almost rhyme. I think you might need a period after "spine", a semi colon ; after "divine" and a period after "rain" as they are natural endings of thoughts.

I like the repeat of "the spider" at the beginning and end and how you used the same words in a different way. Very creative and it works.

*Web2* Also the rule of thumb to remember with capital letters in poems--use them consistently in a natural way or not at all but for Proper nouns like names.Same with punctuation.

*Starstruck* Thanks for this vivid observation of the spider. I hope he will crawl away from me! I had to shoo one away from my door as I entered with groceries. He can stay outside. *Spider* *Wink*

Keep on weaving with your spider muse! *Spider*

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Review of Poeticated  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Dark Society  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Balloonp* Hiya Leo! Welcome to WDC! This review is being given as part of the "Black Magic Birthday Review Bash" Open in new Window., presented by "The Dark Society" Open in new Window.


*Fairy*Wow! I so enjoyed reading this reflective expression. It has marvelous soundscape within the prose lines that create a tonal connection to each other. I liked the metaphor of the "red fern" too. *Smile*

*Fairy* The title is unique and I had to smile! The word occurs in the middle of the poem with a true rhyme and indicates a change in focus. Well done!

*Fairy* I wondered about using a word like "tone" for "feel" in the line 'brings a spiritual feel" would work better. The "o" sound also echoes with other words you use like "hold". *Wink*

*Fairy*In the forth line, it seems like something is missing.
"Yet, as I watch, read, and listen to life and growth becomes my mission." I wanted to as what happens as you did not complete the thought. If the next line completes the thought then a comma needs to be after "mission." Or if as you watch..etc, growth becomes your mission, then just drop the "and" and put a comma after "life". *Confused*

*Fairy* The whole piece is solid in structure and so inspiring as it relates how poetry helped with a dramatic change in one's life. The tone is thankful and feels like an awakening with the heart of child like wonder being rediscovered. Beautiful expression. *Star*

*Starstruck* Thank you so much for sharing your vision and process in such a poetic fashion in this paragraph. The theme is relevant as I am sure writing has played a key role in the changing of lives, seeking to discover their unique BEing!
Keep the ink flowing and write on! You fit right in here. *Delight*

Have fun as you discover the wonderful writers and tools at WDC! Go to the left sidebar and click on PARTY central to see the cool bday events!

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