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Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
*Candycaner* Welcome to WDC! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you!*Delight*


Hiya Michaelk2! Your piece popped up on the random reads and the title was brilliant! You really gave the idea a horror twist! Well done.

I was drawn into the drama as you set the problem quickly. I liked how the unfolding mislead me to think who the culprit might be, so was surprised by the outcome!

The description of the bathroom was vivid { ick!!} and I thought the use of the word "departed" was different to use for leaving on a trip but it has more meaning by the end. Cool! *Cool*

The dialogue was purposeful and natural adding to the telling.

One glitch I noticed was "murderer that was spotted" should be "who was spotted". I wondered if this particular murderer was the same one in the story here and who would have spotted him---and would the cop not recognize...Maybe it is a different murderer.

Also I think saying " the officer's business card" instead of the unwieldy "card the officer had given her" would tighten up the line grammatically.

I don't usually read horror stuff but this was not too explicit and kept the mystery going to keep my interest. Lots of details are left for us to wonder the hows and whys!

Thanks for sharing your vision and craft. *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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Review of Dear Strangers  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (3.5)
*Ornament1r*Welcome to WDC Burama! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you!*Delight*

What a cool idea to use this poem as an introduction and could apply to any new undertaking.
I enjoyed the metaphor of the the journey, the crossing the river with a tie, the vast possibilities indicated by the stars.

The poem is a free flow with a structure that is not strictly patterned. It has a philosophical tone and I could follow the message. Some of the words are not so poetic images--like "tragically".

I wondered about "walk through rivers" as I thought of "across" rivers as more accurate. I think "overlong" to describe winds is confusing.

I felt sad at verse 5 as I saw someone with no hope of choosing more than what this reality holds. *Sad* The image of the child tears is potent.

There is a lot of ideas held in this expression and I really appreciated the overall tone and letter like form. Wonderful intent of the author is strong. *Smile*

Thanks for sharing your vision and craft for me to play in and enjoy. *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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Review of The Gathering  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
*Balloony*Hi J.M.! *Delight* I am happy to review to celebrate you and share my perspective as a reader. *Bookopen*

This was absolutely delightful to read and I entered right into your vision. I fell right into the narrator's world view. The voice was consistent and the descriptions of the surroundings were vivid. Contrasting the senses of nature with those of the home showed clearly his observations skills and his opinions.

I like the works of Blake so that was an added bonus and genius to use this as way of illustrating the speakers feelings about nature. *Star* The use of metaphor and personification bits were effective too, bringing our senses alive to your portrait. They fit the thoughts of the poet narrator. We see how he sees the world. *Thumbsup*

The nature of a the lone writer idea, having to deal with wealthy, well, even just the collective family thinking is well shown. It does make total sense that he would appreciate a like mind if he were to pursue romance. I liked the idea that a poet without love is also poetic. *Wink*

The manner of speech and words like courting, and parlour games, give the essence of an older time and place. You really captured the scene of the family "in the know" effectively. I like the romantic language too. eg. "fell for eternity" It fits the poetic dream.

I so enjoyed this entertaining story and it is amazing given the short time given to write for the Cramp! Wow! Thanks for sharing this wonderful vision. *Starstruck*


Keep the ink flowing as you follow your muse and write on!*Star*
eyestar
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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon
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Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


*BalloonR**ConfettiP*HI I am here with a review to celebrate you on your anniversary *Star*

I was intrigued by your evocative title. Great choice that made me ponder. *Salute*

I enjoyed the picture you vividly paint here. I could perceive the underlying atmosphere and it was great to read. The short phrasings and the repeated words really added drama and effect. Wonderful strategy. eg. The first lines struck me as soon as you said, "stare. Stare at.." *Wink*

The last line has potency in its concept and wrapping up your reflective moment.

It does not look like a poem on the page yet has the flow and feel of a poem. Arrangement can be free choice in poetry too especially as this is a freer style. It worked for me. *Smile*

Thanks for sharing your vision and vibe. I liked entering into the revery!*Starstruck*


Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

eyestar
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Review of Moments of Gold  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


*BalloonR**ConfettiP*HI I am here with a review to celebrate you on your anniversary *Star* Happy 12th! Wow!

This title rocks and the work expresses a loving view of the magic or grandkids. Your experiences show such precious memories and support your title theme. *Salute*

I love how Kaleb taught the game. It is so wonderful how, when you observe, the thinking and knowing of wee ones unfold. They are so much wiser than we see on the fly. They can be so intuen with each other.

The story was well told and kept me reading especially as the topic is so fascinating. I like kids! *Smile* The pictures are priceless and the piece is a wonderful tribute to be included in memoires. They will be great to share when the kids are older. Oh the tales you will tell. *Wink*

This was fun and I felt the special regard you have for the wisdom of these kids and naturally the love. They are lucky in their choice of grandpa!*Star*

Thanks for sharing so openly your vision and family! It made me smile --an uplift in any day.

Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

eyestar
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Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
*Fairy* Hiya Redtowrite! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you!*Delight*

*Heart*Wow! This is a truly moving tribute to a child. It brought tears to my eyes as you so vividly describe her magic, the illness and the outcome. I was so moved by the letting go of the mother and the magical world she imagined for her angelic little one. *Salute*

*Heart*The voice speaking to and about the child is gentle and giving ease. The images are so vivid and appealing to both child and parent. The idea of angel mothering is so precious. *Angel*

*Heart*It was lovely to read aloud with is potent atmosphere, loving vibe, and free form that suits the emotional content.

*Heart*I noticed a mix up with the voice--sometimes speaking about the child and other times to the child. It may be intentional and does not steal from the potency and meaning. Just as a matter of consistency I wonder what is possible if one voice could be used. It would be not too hard to make the "SHE" to you, perhaps.

*Heart* Overall, this is a fabulous tribute to this child from a mom's point of view and thank you for sharing so vulnerably what must have been so heart breaking--I can't imagine. I am so glad you had angellic help for yourself too. *Angel*
This is inspirational and I am sure may bring hope to others.

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
*Fairy* Hi Sunny. This contest popped up on the review page as I was crediting! How did I miss it? *Facepalm* I love poetry too!

I like the elegant page design and flow. The drop notes keep the page so neat and tidy, easy to scroll for the specific item you want. *Thumbsup*

The rules are clearly stated and the having the date in its own drop down is effective. I don't have to search through a lot of info to find it.

I see some folks have forgotten word count.*Sad* Gosh, you even give examples in the rules! I always wonder how to make this rule pop. I have not seen it given in the title of the work before though. Usually within the item or in the forum. That might be the issue as folks put the title in sometimes before even writing the poem. mmm.

I appreciate the list of various prompts as allows for flexibility and may capture more interest when choice is available. *Smile*

This contest is well conceived and organized with an inviting tone. I am glad your love of poetry sparked this imaginative contribution.*Starstruck*

Keep on shining as and sunny *Star* you are and write on!

eyestar
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Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC QueenQuinn! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you!

Your evocative title popped up on the Random Reads when I clicked. I really like the philosophical tone of the title and it is true too. Good choice for your expression.

This is a moving piece and the repeated phrase was so effective. The short two phrase sentences were quick to read and I could see the mind conversation as it had good intentions. The shortness of lines added to the drama. The "but" introduced the same excuse each time.*Thumbsup* The whole paragraph read like a cycle and felt like a mimic of alcholic merry go round. Very potent and sad. I felt the mind is addicted to the denial and resistance and then to the excuse. Well done.

The wise truth is well shown here. What we despise keeps us powerless to avoid the thing we despise. What we resist persists. We do need to examine the deeper trauma in these cases to release. This was well said and we don't even need the background of the character to get the meaning and regret he expresses.

Thanks for sharing your vision and craft.*Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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Review of Me and My Worlds  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


*BalloonR**ConfettiP*HI Dr. Matticakes Myra! I am here with a review to celebrate you on your anniversary and for our "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window. DARE to REVIEW RAID!! *Star*

What a great way to feature your work: folder for a series of folders. Very organized for one so prolific in creations.
I enjoyed the poem which tops the folder and the sketch is wonderful. The tagline is excellent and made me curious.

The poem is a delight to read and you did a good job with presenting the opposites---of things we might find within.
I liked the "smiles do dwell" and "distilled...woe" and smiled at your aim in life! *Laugh*

The flow was smooth and rhyme was consistent. I liked the welcoming tone and was intrigued with the examples of tales you mentioned. It really previewed the essence of the types of writing folders contained in this item. *Thumbsup*

The title of items within the folder are evocative too. Ring around the Roses for campfires is brilliant. Thetia intrigues me.
The items illustrate your many talents from writing, poetry, sketching, doodles? I love doodling! What a bright *Star* you are!

I see these are older works and wonder if you have new ones to add in this particular venue! *Smile*
I notice the word "size" is showing up at the end of your poem. *Wink*

Thanks for sharing your worlds. I hope you have many more years shining and sharing here at WDC! *Starstruck* Happy 13th! WoW!

Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

eyestar
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Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


*BalloonR**ConfettiP*HI Brooke! I am here with a review to celebrate you on your anniversary and for our "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window. DARE to REVIEW RAID!! *Star*

This poll has a relevant question and you reveal your true interest in what authors think. I like how you add a link to your commentary item on reviews. It helps us get to know you!

The introduction is inviting and fun to read, appealing with its colour and symbol effects. It defines the question and gives some examples.

It is interesting that you later added how many folks saw the poll but did not vote. Wow! How long does it take to consider and click especially when you have the option of email in case no suitable answer appears. Of course, maybe some like to just say don't know.

Your possible responses are suitable and provide a range and I can see where I would like a multiple answer. LOL
First impression would be inspiring but it doesn't cover it all, so email it is. *Smile*
I do like the energy of some responses like the "I'm terrible" and the "I can take it!" *Wink* I had to smile.

It is fun to consider and provides an opportunity for one to ponder on what they do like as a review vibe and style. Thanks for your interest! *Star*

Thanks for all of your flair and contributions over the years and may you enjoy many more years here at WDC. Happy 11th! Wow! *Salute*

Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

eyestar
** Image ID #1935198 Unavailable **
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Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)

*BalloonR**ConfettiP*HI Neva. I am here with a review to celebrate you for our "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window. DARE to REVIEW RAID!! *Star*

Oh, wow! I love the title and theme of this poll! Certainly something to think about. I suppose it would depend on if they were friendly or came with ray guns blazing. *Bigsmile*

I wondered what sparked the question other than curiosity. *Wink*

The intro is direct and simple asks the question.
The answers are so varied. Good choices. The passport and ghostwriter made me smile. *Alien* I did wonder if you should have left one spot for OTHER---as some may have another cool possibility.*Smile*

I don't drink coffee but it was the closest response--certainly would have a chat! Would they have a translator though. You certainly spark lots of questions as I try to choose a answer that might fit. Or else I just think way too much! *Facepalm*
Maybe in your question, you could qualify--like friendly aliens. *Laugh*

Thanks for sharing this bit of fun! *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

eyestar
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Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
*Delight* Hey Pure Sci-Fi! I found your cool photo to review in our "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window. Dare To Review Raid! *Delight* Good job on learning how to add it to your port. It took me a long time to get it!

I had to smile at your cute tagline! It is up to us to believe. LOL It rather adds some comic appeal and gives a hint, that in spite of enjoying off earth sci fi, you may be one of us. *Wink*

I like the shadowy aspect of the photo--as if you are shrouded in mystery. Now you see me, now you don't! I also appreciate the simplicity and reality of the background and image. It show vulnerability and truth just as it is. *Salute*

Good to see you! Thanks for sharing and having fun with WDC techy elements. It takes time to get to know all the gadgetry.

Have fun and write on! *Starstruck*

eyestar
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Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Delight* Hiya webwitch! Guess what showed up on the Random Reads when I clicked! How timely a piece! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you!

This episode is so funny and you make it seem like it really happened. LOL The narration in first person gives it a personal anecdotal tone. The story has a coherent flow and the descriptions of the scenes and procedures are detailed and vivid. I burst out laughing at the solution crock pot! *Laugh* How ingenious! You have quite the imagination. and that the prayer had an even greater meaning? Well, I guess! If they only knew the secret.

The sentences flowed well and I was not thrown out by any major flaws. The character is clear and the plot is interesting in its twists and turns. Cool ideas like the "auxilliary" fridge and decorative "fishnet" and words like "birdzilla" and "slim pickings" at the super market add interest. It was fun to read and I was hooked in as I was curious about the "nightmare" at the start.
You did use some adverbs rather close together--eg like "cautiously" and "carefully". I think you can drop the adverb in "thought carefully about next step".
In Lines like "I dried off...bath" you can use a comma instead of the first "and". It felt run on. A quick read will show where a few lines might be tightened up. *Wink*

Nothing really detracted me from the entertaining hilarity of the storyline. Thanks for sharing your gift for comic anecdotes---it kinda reflects real situations that can occur----although, hopefully one would not resort to drastic measures. *Starstruck*

Happy Thanksgiving. *Pumpkin*

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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Review of Je Suis Paris  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC A.Sparrow! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you!

Brilliant! I enjoy seeing the French language used and it is so effective for the theme of tribute to France at this time. Tres Bien! *Cool* The title bears a truth for we really are all connected on this planet, if we would only know and live it.

The free style suits the content and emotion.
While not consistent as each verse is different in format yet each has a different vibe as well.
I really enjoyed the cheering heartfelt prayer vibe of the first one and the call to unity in the second. It totally captures the spirit of the French people.

In the first verse I think dropping the words "that" would make the line 3 flow better in keeping with the others. *Wink*
eg "We pray the weak will find strength to dance.' Just an idea. See what feels right.

Such a lovely tribute with a positive tone that encourages unity as a way through the dark.*Star*

Thanks for sharing your vision and prayer!

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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Review of Nature  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloong* Welcome to WDC HRK! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you!*Smile*

*Tree* Oh I love trees and I too appreciate how receptive they are and how much peace I have when I am in nature. I like how you use them as the theme in which to compare our life. The title could refer to nature and human nature too. I wonder if a reference to tree in the title would be more direct connection. Just a thought that occurred to me.

*Earth* The free style suits the content of reflection on life. Your idea is a potent one and has me thinking how calm nature can be, how allowing of all that is. It would be nice to be like that and hey, I think we can. *Smile* Shutting down our judgement is the very thing that may help that.

*Tree3* I like the comparison of tree to life---the seasons we share. I really felt the "wishing" tone here too. *Thumbsup*

*Treepine* I like the flow of the second verse with the No refrain and wonder why you didn't say "No differing states of mind to endure" or choose etc. instead of a longer phrase. It might add to the flow and consistency if you feel an edit would work here. *Wink*

*Starstruck* Thanks for sharing crafting and your potent vision.

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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Review of Eclipse  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC cowgirl! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you!*Delight*

*Bootl* This theme appealed to me as a unique idea for a poem! Cool!

*Bootr* The free style poem was fun to read and I could really hear the confusion and panic that may have happened around eclipse time, when folks didn't understand. I like the simple language that led me on the moment by moment thinking journey. The last line with its puzzling query rocked! Well done.

*Bootr* I like the dramatic energy you created and the line about "run" really adds to the picture of what is happening. You did a lovely job with the rhyme scheme and and it had an easy flow when I read it aloud.

*Bootl* A few things to think about to clarify and add to the potency of your work.
I noticed. : "whats" needs to be "What's".

I would put quotes around what they are saying to separate it from the third person "they" and "we" to clarify.

eg. "Oh no! whats happening," they would cry.
"The sun has gone you can't see the sky.
all the way to ..."that?"

Also , you may need a period after "stop" for effect and then begin "The sun..." *Wink*
The use of the exclamation marks is super for effect and showing emotion at key times. *Smile*

*Starstruck* I think this is a wonderfully creative bit of drama! Well done!

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Fire* Hi Choconut! I am back with another review as part of your Power Shop Gift!*Delight*


*Hammer* LOL. I had to check this poem out as I too created one recently at the Poetry Place. It just appealed to me so now I can see what you came up with for this interesting concept. *Wink* It didn't seem as hard as some forms but it stretched me. LOL

*Hammer* I liked your tone expressing the frustration with creating the poem. Brilliant and the contrast is that you create one! *Thumbsup* I could really imagine the image of the poet not quite being in line with the muse. *Laugh* Using "haze" and "daze" concepts twice, which kind of have the same meaning, gives emphasis to the theme. I like the image of the crowd of words etc. I can see crazy woman with wild hair and all the muses speaking at once ! *Fairy*

*Hammer*The form is correct to my understanding, 8 syllables in each of nine lines with the rhyme of aacbbcddc! *Wink* It has an element of humour that had me smiling.

*Hammer* This was so much fun! I hope you keep not liking the NOVE OTTO and maybe write another goodie! *Bigsmile* *Starstruck*

Thanks for allowing me to play in your works of wonder. I so admire you sharing all of your contributions and expressions. Keep shining!

Keep the ink flowing and write on! *Starstruck*
eyestar
fairy sig for Power Captain!
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Review of Bluebell Wood  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Fire* Congrats! You're receiving a gift from The Power Shop as gifted by Princess Zelda Author Icon which will include 5 poem reviews. Sorry I am a bit late with this as my computer had gremlins! Enjoy! *Fire*

*Fire*Hi Choconut! It is my pleasure to pop into your poetry realm! I found this goodie and was not familiar with the form so out of curiousity here I am! *Laugh* I did have to go and look it up.

*Fire* The expression is amazing in its simple image and it allowed for me to imagine where I might wander and the scene of a whole landscape of flowers. I love blue and I can see myself in the wood under a blue sky surrounded in the scent on the breeze. Wonderful evocation. *Smile* The blue font adds flair to the page too.

*Fire* The title is appealing in flow and image as well. I imagine fairies there. *Fairy* LOL.

*Fire* The form is fascinating and more complex than it looks. You did a great job with the stairstep of syllable sounds.(u) Wow! I can't imagine the effort to get this right! *Salute* The added repeated sound letters (w) added to the flow as well.

*Fire* It reminds me a bit of Haiku with its lure to the imagination of the reader. I really enjoyed entering your vision. Thanks for sharing your craft.

Keep the quill inked and write on! *Starstruck*

eyestar
fairy sig for Power Captain!


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Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Balloony* Hiya Fyn! *Delight* I am happy to review to celebrate you as part of your Spell Book Auction Pack! Thanks for your generosity. *Bookopen*

*Apple* Oh my gosh! This evocative title grabbed me right away. My imagination activated as I thought of pioneer apple dolls, crab apple trees, an old face in a tree from a movie I once saw. Awesome effect! The words have a lovely flow and alliterative quality that is appealing as well. *Salute*

*Apple* Your gift for word weaving and metaphor is once again revealed in this tightly woven expression. The personification is delightful and well crafted. The first line set the voice, tone and sparked my imagination so I fell into the dream. I could so imagine and hear the voice of the crone as she compares her self to the maple. The descriptions are so vivid and the proud tone apparent. I so enjoyed the detail of the tree pictured as an old woman with "arthritic knots" and "windbent creases"! Brilliant and clear.*Salute* The idea of her other half was evocative too and I can imagine it.

*Apple* It was delicious to read aloud for flow and sound. Alliterative language is so appealing and interesting word phrasings like "buck gnawed", (does it need a hyphen/} "leaf their leaving" and "sot a squirrel" are cool. I had not heard those before. *Wink* I smiled at the line "of the crabby sort" *Laugh* as she owns her well earned reputation.
The enjambments and punctuation added drama effectively too.

*Apple* The poem seems to have a free style as I noticed one verse is longer than the others. In no way does it detract from the genius of the work and the enjoyment of the dream.

*Starstruck* What else can I say about such word wizardry! Your vision is so real and images realistic as they leap off the page. Impressive to me! Thanks for sharing your gift. It so contributes to creating a good vibe!


Keep the ink flowing as you follow your muse and write on!*Star*
eyestar
Sig for blog/reveiws

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WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
1120
1120
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Balloony* Hiya Fyn! *Delight* I am happy to review to celebrate you as part of your Spell Book Auction Pack! Thanks for your generosity. *Bookopen*

*Bookopen* I was drawn to your title as it made me smile to think about a poem about reading a poem and it made total sense as how you read a poem can effect the experience. I was curious to see how you would describe this. *Smile*

Intense! I could hear the potency in the tone and your images were vivid and unique for the theme. The metaphor was unexpected and brilliant to relay the "depth" and emotion of poems and poets. Perfect choice. *Thumbsup*

"Flay it open" is wonderful and I had not heard that word before. The imperative voice directed the reader right to the point. Your verb choices were so active and descriptions added vitality.
Lines like "Twist muscled meanings and sinewed stanzas." and
"to dance across synapses;" are evocative and add to the effective soundscape as I read aloud.
It was a pleasure to read and experience on all sense levels.

I wondered at the use of the word "voice" twice in close proximity in "give it voice". I get what you mean about giving it strength as you say it aloud yet I wondered about variety--could the first one have a synonym. mm. Yet to emphasize "voice" aspect is also relevant. *Wink*

I thought the word "but" was strong and kind of felt like a stop---- wanted to try it out with just the directive "free them" though the but does give a bit of idea of "no matter what...do it!" *Laugh*

The expression illuminates the need to delve into a poem, into the underlying secrets that it may hold. The advice to give it full presence and attention with lots of energy to discover or experience something within oneself is truly well given. I love it! *Starstruck*

Thanks for sharing your gift and vision! I enjoyed entering into the dream with you.*Star*

Keep the ink flowing as you follow your muse and write on!*Star*
eyestar


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Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
*Fire* Hi Escape Artist! This review is part of your Nuclear Packagefrom "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.! Enjoy!

*Wave2* I was drawn to the alliterative title that evokes the picture of a boat at sea in the elements. Lovely choice for this non-fiction tale.

*Wave3* Amazing experiences you must have had on the fishing boat if this is anything to go by. You captured by attention with the first line "quote" that was prophetic of a dangerous adventure! You give the highlight in a nut shell to introduce but I am glad you did the whole story as it gave a vivid backdrop to the experience of life at sea.

*Wave4* The narrative was interesting and described clearly the setting and the way things worked on this fishing boat. I really learned alot from your detailed account of the day at sea. It is cool how you used nicknames and I could sense how close you all to be and how aware you had to be. The first person POV was potent and well developed.

*Wave2* The story flowed in a coherent manner and I enjoyed the style and how you introduce us to various bits of information like work in the galley, the look of the sea and the history of the boat. I felt that these men did indeed love their life. I had to smile to think of the sailor in bare feet. The vocabulary was thematic and good use was made of active verbs and descriptors.

*Wave1* The build up to the sudden accident was good and your details of the event were vivid. You really showed how difficult the job was and I can't imagine going back and forth into the fire and smoke.
No time to be scared I guess. The panic of boss was potent---I could see the older, weightier captain shouting orders. I might panic too as the one in charge. A "freezer" for a captain is intriguing word.

*Wave4* The last paragraph was moving and had a philosophical tone. I really like how you honour your friend's wisdom and the idea that none are perfect. Learning comes from experience. Did you mean "fearless souls" or were you referring to the "soles" as feet, wanderers? *Wink*

*Starstruck*I was drawn into the vision of this dramatic event and couldn't stop reading to the end. It felt like the sea with its ebb and flow of calm to chaotic! Such a realistic picture as you recall it.
Thanks for sharing your keen knowledge and memories of this event. It is a treasure. *Star*
I enjoyed the way you wove the tale very much.

eyestar
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Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
*Pumpkin* Hail WDC support in its many guises!

RAOK is tops in the charity business and I see I have not reviewed it, so here I am! *Delight*
Using this kindness idea within the WDC to support active participants is so generous and of great assistance to many. I liked your line of intent" will do so for many more years".

The group page outline is simple and straightforward with the definition, intent and invitation to help out. The links to the various forums, including where to request and thank are handy on display and the bright red draws my eye to the invitation of each. The support pin is so brilliant a fundraiser. Who does not like the appealing banner design that the pin carries? *Cool*

I like that there is a list of RAOK fundraising events handy for the group members so we can pop over to these for fun and be of service at the same time. *Star*

Well organized with a heartfelt message and intent! Gratitude to you for the many you help and will help in the future! Kudos too! *Heart*

eyestar
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Review of The gift  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
*Fire* Congrats Lynda! You're receiving a gift from "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. ! The Fossil Fuel Package has been ordered for you from: 🐕GeminiGem🎁 Author Icon. Enjoy your review!

*Heart* Oh my! This is a very sad and evocative poem and your title does not give it away!
You lead the reader well on this soldier's moment by moment experience and I got caught up in his reflections. Well conceived unfolding. *Thumbsup*

*Heart*The imagery was vivid and the clues to the gift and surprise come one by one in a coherent way. I could feel the query, and puzzlement, sadness in the tones and bittersweetness of the end.
It is heartbreaking and yet the gift can bring joy. Wow!

*Heart* Wrapped up in the message is the underlying note of the trauma of war on both partners.
To have tragedy at home too is a double blow.

*Fairy* One little glitch--In verse 6, I think you need a period after "door." *Wink*
I also wondered about the line about her being alone without family in verse 3. Did he not know she had a brother? It seems so as they meet later in the poem. I just wondered why he wouldn't know.

*Star*This is truly moving and the voice is potent. The free style with short lines is effective and I enjoyed reading the flow. It felt dramatic. You really hit the heartstrings. *Thumbsup*

Thanks for sharing such a moving vision! *Star*

eyestar
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Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
*Fire* Hi Amyjo! This review is part of your Nuclear Package from "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.!. Enjoy.

*Thinker* Wow! This folder contains a marvelous creation and its bits and pieces! Everything Inquiring Minds might like! The idea for a group and activities about words, definitions, thoughts and info is so fascinating and sounds like fun! *Laugh*

*Thinker*I really enjoyed reading the Newsletter in this folder as it is jampacked with trivia and unique word and trivia bits. You have given a lot of thought and research in its creation. Well done.

*Thinker*It is a good idea to have a collection for the newsletters as they get finished. It will leave room in the folder for the main items to be seen quickly.

*Thinker* I wondered about adding a bit of information in the opening intro section of the folder--where you have "for all things Inquiring Minds", just to give a taste of what the concept is about. Make it an inviting and magnetic door way. *Smile*

*Thinker* I like the Group Page with the attractive banner and the info that members need to know, eg. like the intent of the group and date of upcoming contest in December etc. Lots of good vibes in the presentation.

*Starstruck* I love the enthusiastic vibe in the overall tone and colour of the pages. Thanks for creating this original piece of entertainment that makes learning fun. You rock!

Light on the path as you inquire and write on! *Starp*

eyestar
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Review of Always here  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: ASR | (4.0)
*Balloony* Welcome to WDC ToServe! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you!

This is a lovely heartfelt message to your boys! It has a reassuring tone that is appealing to the audience--especially the children. *Heart*

It is pleasant to read with a wonderful rhyme and easy short lines that are simple for young audience as well. It flowed easily even without an even pattern rhythm.

I noted one glitch in the word "they're" which should be "their" to show possession.*Wink*
Also, I see no need for a comma after "right" and "boys" in both verse 2 and 3 as the lines do flow naturally to the next ones. Period after "alone" too I think and at the end.

Your intent and love of your boys comes across potently here and will be an inspiration.*Star*
Thanks for sharing your gift and vision.

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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*BurstP* I'm earning my sparkles at "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. to spread sparkles for Phoebe around WDC! *BurstP*
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