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1001
1001
Review of Stormy Night  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)

Hiya Sophy! Happy Anniversary! Here I am again celebrating you!


*Lightning2* Wow!This is incredibly potent expression and I could so imagine the sight, sound and feel of the storm and its effect on the poet. Amazing how some can sleep through such a blast! *Shock* The flow on the page is pleasing as it seems to mimic the zigs of lightning and the nervous system! To my weird mind anyway! *Wink*

The sense of drama you create is exciting and I fall right into the vision with you. The bolded words added an emphatic noise to the moment. Your word choice creates a magical stormy soundscape too. the "smack" of rain, "crack" of lightning, the long "a' sounds etc as I read down the page aloud. The tension builds and appeals to all the senses and then you contrast it with the sleeper, who is so relaxed you want to wake him up so he can be awake too. *Smile* The yearning tone at the end is so real! I could imagine a wishing sigh.*Sad*

Yet, look at the poetry that comes of that wakefulness--so vivid and alive in the telling. *Salute*

I am not sure you needed the word "softly" after "muttering" as muttering tends to be soft and in the storm you would not hear it anyway. *Wink*

Thanks for the author's note. Your hubbies quote is so evocative. Thanks for sharing your vision and craft. It blows me away. *Starstruck* I learn from you.

Keep the *Quill* handy and the ink flowing! *Wand*

eyestar
Reach for the stars Simply Positive signature

*Flowerw* This is a review from "WdC Kind Hearts *Flowerw*

1002
1002
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)


*Balloonp* Hiya Sophy! Happy WDC Anniversary! I am happy to review for "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group to celebrate you!*Shamrock*

Wow! Your personal expression is really powerful in illustrating how this illness was a struggle and yet a transforming experience in your life. It is full of wise knowings that can inspire others too. My father suffered with rheumatoid arthritis from the time I was 9 til he died at 52. His mother suffered with it for years as well though she died at 76. It is not a pleasant illness for the person or for family dealing with it for sure. Both were amazing powers of examples for others!*Heart*

It was heartwarming to read what you learned from having this disease in spite of your struggle. You were so young too. Illness can pull folks together or isolate them and it is lovely that in your life it served as a positive glue and lead you to do things you might not have done. That is a good point. If we don't give up, there is an up side--or at least a different path not seen before.

I like how you emphasis the key learning impacts in bold with clear explanations. They were interesting to read. The writing is straightforward and sincere and I felt the aura of gratitude and power. It is a gift to be able to say you wouldn't have changed a thing as courage and allowance and faith have been lessons as well. And as you said, "life happens" and how we respond makes all the difference. Sometimes we are called to go outside the box of norm to the unexplored.*Salute*

I admire you. I know when I get a few aches, I just think of my dad's pain everyday and keep it in perspective. This is a meaningful essay and has a message for everyone really, no matter what our life experience. Thank you for sharing so vulnerably your wisdom. *Angel*

Keep the *Quill* handy and the ink flowing! *Wand*
eyestar

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*Flowerw* This is a review from "WdC Kind Hearts *Flowerw*



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1003
1003
Review of The Harlequin  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Balloony*Hi Kiya! *Delight* I am happy to review to celebrate you in your Purple Robes!
*Flowerw* This is a review from "WdC Kind Hearts *Flowerw*


Oh Wow! What a cool form! Thanks for the author's link about it.
The theme in the title is fascinating and unique and your page is decorated to give a bit of flavour of the harlequin character. I recall they are in some check costumes on the stage. *Smile*

Your story poem takes on a journey from a light and innocent vibe and even meeting the fairy is a bit of fun, and then it turns dark. The writing kept me reading as I wanted to find out what would happen. the image of the fairy ribbons and her laughter was clear and I assumed it had some magic to lull the man. I liked the way you described her watching and then appearing. Lovely image. Not sure you need "restlessly", just showing her tapping lends us to see this.

The bits of dialogue add to the dramatic effect and give characters life.

The form is well composed and I appreciate the effort to get it right. I wondered if you began with a Z or X word as they would be hard ones. *Wink*

A few little glitches popped for me:
In the second line you use "with" twice. I wondered at maybe saying "and no Cares..."
I couldn't tell if "persistently" goes with "echoed" or "running". Punctuation would help here. A period maybe and I think a period after "wore" and "senses" would make the read clearer.
I wondered at the word "your mortality" as if you are speaking now to us, instead about her.'*Confused* maybe.

Impressive composition that entertains and engages the reader and gives us an understanding of this character. I had fun entering your vision. *Starstruck*

Keep the ink flowing as you follow your muse and write on!*Star*
eyestar
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#1300305 by Maryann


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1004
1004
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Balloony*Hi jace! *Delight* I am happy to review to celebrate you in your Purple Robes!
*Flowerw* This is a review from "WdC Kind Hearts *Flowerw*


*Cat* I enjoy singing so this Ballad appealed to me and I couldn't wait to see who the characters with the lovely names were. Your tagline cleared that up. *Smile* Too bad I don't know your tune.

I had such fun reading this song with his vibrant images of the girl and the cat and I had to laugh at the last line about the video. It would be a riot to see.

The picture of the three year old holding the cat is so clear and I have seen how some cats don't appreciate that kind of hold. That the cat disagrees is evident in the details of its actions. The wood "doom" says it all and we can fill in the blanks as you give no picture. Very dramatic is the dance scene.

I felt the spontaneity of the action of the child and the word "rambunctious" covers a lot of territory.*Smile* The verses are well composed with wonderful rhyme and action. Words like "strut", "pixie cut" and "twirls" are illustrative. Oh I love how you rhymed "Aurora" as it is difficult. "camera" works well. The alternate lines rhyme is abab is effective.
I wanted to read the last line without the "for",not sure why. maybe, grammatically you need a "the" *Wink* Minor glitch . *Wink* "a perfect.." though I know you mean for the show.

The author's note on the Ballad was interesting and convenient. Your piece is graphic, simple and energetic in its vibe. It is entertaining and seems to flow well, though I do not know the tune.
The alliterative bits assist with pace and song-like flow.

This is like a photograph! Thanks for sharing this vision of your Aurora! *Starstruck*

Keep the ink flowing as you follow your muse and write on!*Star*
eyestar
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#1300305 by Maryann


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1005
1005
Review of Quiet Fire  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Balloony*Hi Jace! *Delight* I am happy to review to celebrate you in your Purple Robes!
*Flowerw* This is a review from "WdC Kind Hearts *Flowerw*


I was drawn to the flame of the title with its interesting image-a fire being quiet. It is intriguing. Good choice.

This is delightful with vivid imagery and a happy surprise ending. The first line is so appealing with the unique description "curled edges of fire". Absolutely brilliant. The contrast in the 2nd line is vivid and adds another hint of what you speak of. *Thumbsup*

Your personification by having them has a "task" is effective.

I wondered whether you needed the word "the" before "wind and rake" as it sounds odd not to say "the rake" as well. If you dropped the word, "by wind and rake" flows better.*Wink*

The short piece well deserves it's first place in the contest. It is a pleasure to read and flows well with a good word variety and soundscape.

The quietness of the pile is well contrasted and with the very lively active image at the end. The joy is evident and made me smile as it brings up good memories! *Smile* You have a gift for the hint! *Star*

Keep the ink flowing as you follow your muse and write on!*Star*
eyestar
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1006
1006
Review of Gum In My Hair  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Balloony*! *Delight* I am happy to review to celebrate you in your Purple Robes!
*Flowerw* This is a review from "WdC Kind Hearts *Flowerw*


I was lured by the title as it struck me as a unique theme about which to write. Getting gum out of someone's hair is not fun!*Smile* I thought it might be rather funny to read.

I was happy to see a stream of consciousness as a form. I love it. The explanation in author's note is edifying as well. I did not realise it did have a definition per se. *Smile*

This was fun to read as it flowed along and I had no trouble making sense of your thoughts about this "chewing gum" theme in the movie and seeing where it might be useful to you. I have enjoyed the movie and now I will have to watch it again to remind me of the details. I think I even have a 4 movie DVD of it with other Sandra Bullock films. *Delight* Somewhere!!

Your idea that there are many reasons to put gum in your hair is cute but makes sense if following Vivi's notion. I had to smile at the "whole pack"! The last line shows well your preoccupation with the mundane subject! I had to smile as it is a puzzlement.

The enjambents were fun and mimic thoughts in progress seeming without intent of specific structure. Cool! I wondered about the word "evidently" and if it was necessary.

I enjoyed this bit of entertainment and may have a go at this in the way you describe. *Star*
Thanks for sharing this vision and I hope you don't puzzle too long abut chewing gum that you actually end up trying putting it in your hair for a while as an experiential experiment. *Wink*

Keep the ink flowing as you follow your muse and write on!*Star*
eyestar
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#1300305 by Maryann


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1007
1007
Review of Safe Again  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Balloony*Hiya Jace! *Delight* I am happy to review to celebrate you in your Purple Robes! Surprise! *Delight*

*Flowerw* This is a review from "WdC Kind Hearts *Flowerw*


The title is evocative and made me think of many things to be safe from and the word "again" reflected the idea that there may be one place to which one returns to be safe. Or that there is adventure involved. *Smile* The tag line helped narrow it down nicely without giving it away.

I love trees so this setting and the concept appealed to me and made me smile. *Heart* The story is so charming and this example of "recycling" was a brilliant idea. What a treasure.

I was impressed with the cycle effect in the story, both for the tree and the boy! Wonderfully conceived.

Only 55 words related this story and your first word drew my attention. I was sad when I saw what was making the noise and yet wondered too at the reason for the tree cutting. The word "old" does indicate to me that perhaps it was falling down or damaged. I hope it wouldn't be cut for nothing.

The sadness is evoked for the man in the story as I felt it in the end of the second line--the passing of an age vibe. The imagery of the bed and the use of "heirloom" and "bosom" is so suggestive and vivid and helped create a potent warm vibe.

The story was well told with enough details for me to imagine and to see beyond. It was pleasant to read aloud and flowed smoothly will some nice alliterative sounds. the building up to the surprise ending is well done--I like the idea of "fate"! *Wink* The personification of the tree is effective and adds to notion that this tree was truly appreciated for its gift in all its seasons. *Star*

Thanks for sharing your vision. I so appreciate that you can write a complete story in so few words. *Starstruck* It was very moving.

Keep the ink flowing as you follow your muse and write on!*Star*
eyestar
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1008
1008
Review of My Names  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Balloonp* Hiya Cymaemon! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you as this interesting little piece came up of the random reads! *Delight*


*Smile*The title indeed suits the two verse poem on you multi names. I enjoyed the contrast of the legal names to the "heart" names as they have a different vibe.

The flow of the read is pleasing and it is cool how you have rhymed the first verse yet the seconds reads more poetically or lyrically. My favourite one!

I am not sure what a sevenling is so I looked it up. *Smile* It might be nice to leave a link about it as it is rather cool. I like how your last line really did sum the theme of the poem. *Starstruck*

Thanks for sharing this bit of fun and showing me another new form! I am inspired to try it once I study it more. *Smile*

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar

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1009
1009
Review of The Spare Time  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.0)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC Norman H. Douglas! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


*Delight* This title popped up on the Random Reads and it struck me as an interesting idea to say "THE spare time" as a specific time.

It is an evocative piece and I enjoyed reading it aloud for the flow and alliterative qualities like:"Missing our mistakes", "mocking moves" and the inner rhymes. The image in the third verse struck me as comical. *Smile* The last line is interesting as well. It does have a lyrical quality. *Thumbsup*

I noticed a few glitches:
"hopes" needs an apostrophe if you mean "hope is">> "hope's".

I wondered why this was in Children's Genre. I may be missing something. *Wink*

Thanks for sharing your vision. *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar

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1010
1010
Review of Gingerbread  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*Balloonp* Hiya Whiskers! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you as this item popped up on the random reads! *Delight*


LOL. I love the song of Silver Bells and this parody is so fun! You did an awesome job with the lyrical mimicry. I had fun singing. *Delight*

The concept of building a gingerbread house is brilliant and the images of vivid using all the various yummy goodies used to make them. The process is well described as well. It must have taken time to get it to fit the words to fit the music. *Thumbsup*

An entertaining seasonal song. I think kids would enjoy singing it as well. *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar

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1011
1011
Review of A lyrical riddle  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC Psyman! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


I like the idea of a lyrical riddle when I saw your title! It is unique. I was drawn right from the first alliterative lines.
The poem is a free flow in the manner of a riddle and the ideas and images are vivid and interesting. I have no idea of the answers to the riddles but they were fun to read and ponder.*Wink*

The flow well and follow a repetitive pattern in verses 1-2, and a different one in 4-5. The "may have" has interesting clues. *Smile* The third verse feels like a turn as it changes in form. I had to smile at "bugs in my bed" and "tributes in my life" is expansive idea.

This is a great puzzler! It will keep me thinking. Are there answers? LOL *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar

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1012
1012
Review of Camp California  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)


Hiya Jeff! I am happy to review to celebrate you in your purple robes!*Shamrock*
*Flowerw* This is a review from "WdC Kind Hearts *Flowerw*


This is an amazing composition getting these ideas into this strict form. Thanks for the author's note on the Double Etheree. And for the wonderful link to the Camp you visited. What an amazing experience.*Smile* I loved the picture of the camp on the website--lovely green space.

The poem captures the essence of this camp as a healing and joyful space for city kids to get in touch with nature away from the city stresses. Vocabulary images like "crystalline water", "flora" and lines 3-5 are vivid. Nature as a "therapist" is a sage concept. I liked "innocence reclaimed" too. It is so hopeful. "Apart from grief" is an unusual and awesome choice of phrase too.

The form is well achieved in its syllables. Wow! It flowed quite naturally too given the ascending and descending line counts. I felt that references to nature and earth several times reinforces its importance. Personifying Mother earth shows her to be loving and nurturing in a more personal way. *Heart*

Thanks for sharing your vision and crafting as you spread the word about this camp. *Starstruck*
Wonderful tribute and your tone and choice of memories reveal your fondness of the experience and the work done there.

Keep the *Quill* handy and the ink flowing! *Wand*

sig for power Raid!



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
1013
1013
Review of As she waits  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
** Image ID #2077401 Unavailable **

Hiya kindredkitty! I am happy to review for to celebrate you with your winning ticket from The Over the Rainbow Raffle!*Shamrock*

*Cat* Your title evokes a moving image as I am curious about who waits and your tag line gives me the clue which makes me sad to think that a cat is abandoned perhaps. I like cats!

Oh this is so sad and your personification of the waiting cat is well done. Putting the thoughts in her head makes us identify with her growing anxiety, wonder and then realization. I get the notion that the owner is elderly and maybe went to hospital and cannot get back to see to the cat.
I am sure animals miss the vibes of their owners. In this case, the whole routine is off so the cat knows something.

The verses were pleasing to read with a smooth flow and consistent rhyme scheme. I like the ideas of "tangled" thoughts and "attacks" as a verb! *Thumbsup* The last verse gives a potent image to my mind.*Sad*

I think the theme is so relevant as change happens quite often in families and the pets can be caught in the tragedy or strain.

Thanks for sharing your vision so vividly.*Starstruck**Cat2*

Keep the *Quill* handy and the ink flowing! *Wand*
Captain eyestar
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group


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1014
1014
Review of Birthday Island  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
** Image ID #2077401 Unavailable **

*Delight* Hiya Jeff I am back to review for "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group to celebrate you!*Shamrock*


Aha! I went scurrying around to find what a rondeau was and why it seemed a familiar form! And now I know: In Flanders Fields had the same pattern!*Smile* You have it down well with the two rhyme sounds, the refrain repeated and the line count.*Thumbsup*

The first line is evocative as I wondered what happened the day before. I like how we get to imagine. *Wink* The dramatic last line made me laugh and would be such a realistic thing to do in the situation. It was kind of humourous to only have party gear from a shipwreck. *Thumbsup*

The rhyming words were interesting and I bet it took time to get them to work. I smiled at the idea of a "pink slip" and the "plea" for a "round trip".

I see the verses have 4, 3, 5 lines which is a reflection of the 5, 4, 6 lines that I read about. Cool. I was wondering if the rule was strict.

I noticed some of your rhythm syllables did not match to the same count. The first verse seemed to set the pattern of 8 count but then in other verses it was not so regular. The one that threw me off the beat the most when reading aloud was line 2 in verse 3. The word "friendly" made it bumpy and long.

In the second last line I wanted to drop "feel" to shorten it up and give the emphasis to "must". It would be more potent as the word "feel" slows it down. We already know the writer is expressing how he feels. *Smile*
I am not sure if the rhythm is supposed to have even beat though In Flanders Fields it does.*Wink* I am not good with form poems myself so what can I say? *Headbang*

I was entertained by the tale and the whining pleaful voice of the poet. The contrast between his lot and the night before celebratory party can be inferred. And you let us imagine what mayhem that party might have caused. *Thumbsup* He got more than a hangover. *Laugh*

Thanks for sharing your vision of this Party! *Starstruck*

Keep the *Quill* handy and the ink flowing! *Wand*

eyestar
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group


*Flowerw* This is a review from "WdC Kind Hearts *Flowerw*



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
1015
1015
for entry "My Bad Horn Day
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
** Image ID #2077401 Unavailable **

*Shamrock* Good day Hooves! Here I am with a last of your reviews to honour your generosity in St. Pat's Auction and Raffle!

I couldn't resist the title Hooves of Fire and curiosity rose about a bad horn day. *Sad* I am always happy to hear about this persona! *Cow* We really need a bull emoticon.

This is so dramatic and I could almost hear the voice tone in frustration and vengeful! I like the twist--a little this for that! *Smile* The first line about "glamour" was priceless and of course, the herd would think they had glamour days! How else would humans know?

The couplets were superb in rhyme and flow and the pace was quick as the action moved along. It was pleasant to read aloud and so entertaining. Active verbs like "snap went the shutter", "snorted and kicked up a fuss" added drama and sound appeal too.

I liked the verse where she waited patiently, all the while plotting. It sounded like a cow thing biding its time. *Smile* The picture you paint of her reaction to the photo shoot and those on the range gathering the recall is so vivid I can well imagine it. The cows over by the creek under a tree having a good time. *Thumbsup* *Laugh*

Thanks for sharing another fun tale and your effective crafting. I love the pic of the cows! *Starstruck*
*Fairy2* eyestar

Keep the *Quill* handy and the ink flowing! *Wand*


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1016
1016
Review of Wonderland  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
** Image ID #2077401 Unavailable **

Hiya Jeff! I am happy to review for "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group to celebrate you!*Shamrock*


*Delight* I spotted the magical title and thought it would fit in with our Mayhem Raid!
Indeed does as it is based on the Alice story! The picture is lovely as a prompt and adds colour to the page.

I was drawn in by the first alliterative lines by your inviting tone and positive assurance that Wonderland is the answer to life and a grand adventure. The second verse bids us to let go and enter. The third verse gives a warning that we might never come back but by that time it feels too late. LOL

The Kyrielle appears true to form with a perfect rhyme scheme and it was so pleasant to read aloud. The verses are compact and flow seamless. Your sound combinations add to pacing and flow and the "o" emulates a hollow or space. As we go deeper I can imagine it echo---let go....*Wink* The summative couplet repeats the welcome and I get the idea that it is ready for the next ..er..victim. I suppose it will depend on one's point of view--it might be nice to be a child forever and be in awe and innocence. yet the idea of no choice to leave is not that appealing.

It is interesting the pondering that your piece evokes. My mind is off somewhere. Alice in Wonderland was never one of my favourites for some reason and I never wanted a copy. I did work with a grade 2 and 3 class one year to do the musical version. It was fun. They made costumes and everything, learned the songs and words. Something they remember!

Thanks for sharing this tribute to the prompt of Wonderland. It feels like you weave a spell! *Starstruck*

Keep the *Quill* handy and the ink flowing! *Wand*

*Fairy*eyestar

*Flowerw* This is a review from "WdC Kind Hearts *Flowerw*



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
1017
1017
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #2077401 Unavailable **

Hiya Hooves! I am so thrilled to review you for "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group in honour of your win in The St. Patrick's Day Auction and Raffle!*Shamrock* I always enjoy visits to your port.

Oh my gosh! I could not resist this item when I dug through your treasures to find something I have not reviewed. I love Trek! I see this is an older poem for the contest but so new to me so here I be! *Fairy3*

I like the title as it is alliterative and made me smile at the picture of Hooves on the enterprise! *Delight* The persona of Hooves is effectively portrayed as the speaker--er dreamer of the tale. The light hearted energy and excitement is contagious as you dream of what could be.
I liked the query of what it would be like without Kirk! And that you'd have a squirrel at your side! *Squirrel**Laugh* Why not? At least you didn't say tribble! LOL

The idyllic hope of human and animals flying together is a wonderful idea--speaking to the connection we do all have on this planet---guess we have to get it right here before going on!
I burst out laughing at the end. So funny and great play on words! *Salute* I could picture this brave little bull in the dream of being in charge and yet, still young as he runs at the end. So cute. A peaceful Hooves, not a fighter. *Thumbsup*

The poem was appealing to read aloud as it flowed smoothly and the rhyme added to the pace and movement. It is expressive and the punctuation assisted the overall read.

The references to Star Trek were woven in coherently. I can see Scottie beaming up the bull--hey he can do a whale in the movie! *Wink*

I had so much fun with this entertaining poem! Thanks for sharing your vision and gift! *Cow**Starstruck*

Keep the *Quill* handy and the ink flowing! *Wand*

Captain eyestar
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
Thanks for your generosity in the Auction! *Shamrock*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
1018
1018
Review of Appomattox Autumn  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
** Image ID #2077401 Unavailable **

*Cow**Fairy* Hiya Hooves I am back with another review from your auction win!*Shamrock*


I was attracted to this title for its alliteration and the uniqueness of the name. I had to try a few times to say it right. *Wink* As I have studied some history I figured it was a name --but for those not familiar, an author's note might help. That war, while having purpose, was still very sad and your last line is sadly true at present. When Will we learn?

The poem is a tribute to land and seasons {physically and in life passing I think}. Autumn is a changing time and fits the theme. I felt the sadness in the reflection and the line about "trying to understand" speaks to the stupidity and to the true hearts of people who wonder why differences can't be solved a different way. It is hard to understand kill your brother. *Sad*

The structure is sound with a clear rhyme pattern and pleasing soundscape. It was solemn in tone and I enjoyed reading it aloud. The first verse lured me in with its lush images of the natural setting and then contrasted with the battle scene memory. I like how you interwove the two so dramatically.

It feels like the land too remembers the fallen and perhaps at fall time the unburied dead walk the earth. Wonderful tribute and a commentary not very hopeful for the future. Yet, there is choice.

Thanks for sharing this historic vision with its evocative message. Maybe ..we will get it someday.
*Star*

Keep the *Quill* handy and the ink flowing! *Wand*

eyestar



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1019
1019
Review of Summer Joy  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
** Image ID #2077401 Unavailable **

Hiya Jeff! I am happy to review for "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group to celebrate you!*Shamrock*


I love haiku and have been learning all about how to write it. I have learned true haiku is much more than syllables and that surprising "aha" moment to create. With the tools in mind here is my POV.*Wink*

I like the vibration of the the summer fun and how you do leave it to the reader to figure out what the fun or sight might be. Openendedness is a good haiku technique. To me the image is not vivid enough to show what you saw.

Your haiku has a definite nature scene and the form with syllable count is correct. ( I did learn it does not have to be strict with this--8-17 syllables to emulate the japanese masters.)

You have a kigo indicating the season and a subject "youth". Haiku consist of an observation of two distinct images contrasted or compared without any of the poet's judgement on it.
So your second line is not objective--it tells the reader that it is joyful, instead of allowing your vivid pictures to let him come to his own conclusion.

Your last line has 3 images when in true haiku it would only have one--to contrast the one in the first two lines. The first two lines I learned are really a connected phrase and the last line a fragment of a line with an image. I had no idea as in school they never showed this. *Sad*
Less words is more and you want a surprise or aha as you observe the one thing and then turn and see another.
For example in your second line you might say what they do( without your comment on it) be specific and vivid and then in the third line--what else you saw at the same moment that juxtaposes the first image. You can still do the 5-7-5 as it is valid. We already know you are "behold"ing the sight as you are the observer so you don't need to state it. *Wink*

I might observe the young folks playing on the beach or water and then gulls fly over or the sand is dirty with stuff. Or I could see boat on the water, or crabs, or ..? The idea is to have specific vivid images and provide a cut line--or changing view. Like:

youth frolic
on the sunny beach
gull poop

I am no pro but I hope this helps to see what I mean. Before my study, I never understood why some haiku writers here were reluctant to review most haiku---now I see as we have not been taught the whole story--or the updated story I guess. I see where if one was writing a sonnet, not one would get upset if a reviewer noted where it fell off the pattern. But with Haiku,,,wow... ! *Wink* Controversy.
I now go back and take the word Haiku off early efforts--- they stand well alone as short poems. *Smile*

You are free to scrap all and react. *Smile* I think I have turned into a Haiku enthusiast and share the news.

I did enjoy entering your vision as it took my mind back to my own memories and all the possible combinations like beach volleyball, suntanning, frisbee in and out of the water, a too hot sun, jumping in waves, and have to agree that is is fun!

Thanks for entering the world of this challenging japanese form! Keep at it! *Star*

Keep the *Quill* handy and the ink flowing! *Wand*


sig for power Raid!

*Flowerw* This is a review from "WdC Kind Hearts *Flowerw*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
1020
1020
Review of Ski Rescue  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #2077401 Unavailable **

Hiya Leger! I am happy to review for "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group to celebrate you!*Shamrock* Spring is on the rise and I am finding your Winter offerings! *Snow1*


The idea of a ski rescue given in your title intrigued me and that a cinquain could tell the tale struck me as brilliant. Good choice for appeal and appropriate for content too.

The cinquain crown is well composed and follows the structure as I understand it.
Amazing that the whole story is told coherently in these verses and very little repetition of vocabulary! Good variety of words that illustrate the event with vividness and vibrant activity. I really got involved in the drama! *Thumbsup*

The punctuation really helped indicate intensity in the read and the pacing as the poem progressed sped up as would be natural in a case of rescue. The present tense is perfect for the poem as it brings a sense of immediacy and readers are drawn right into the action. *Salute*

The images of the skier, the snow slide and the rescue efforts are vivid even given the short lines that the form permits. I like the changes in voice--as sometimes we hear the rescuer and sometimes the skier and it is easy to tell which one! Good job!

Your expression was exciting to read with a happy ending. Thanks for sharing your vision and craft. I really enjoyed the adventure. *Starstruck*

*green* Keep the *Quill* handy and the ink flowing! *Wand*

eyestar

*Flowerw* This is a review from "WdC Kind Hearts *Flowerw*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
1021
1021
Review of Croagh Patrick  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
** Image ID #2077401 Unavailable **

Hiya Hooves! I return with a fairy scroll to celebrate you!*Shamrock* Thanks for purchasing my package in the ST. Patrick's Auction!


*Delight* Now I see here this wee tale from your Irish trek and lovely it is to read it aloud while entering into the photo on the page. I was almost hearing a tune as I read--which doesn't happen often so I guess the Irish bards spirits be with me today!*Shamrock*

I really admire your ability to put into verse the wandering experiences. I follow your route and stop when you say. The images are charming and vibrant. I like the sheep ruling the road--I have seen this in movies of the British isles! You capture the timelessness of the place and its simplicity. I especially like the third verse ideas--the romanticism and luck. It makes me think of the blarney stone, leprechauns and Irish blessing songs.

The four line verses rhyme well and there is a variety of line lengths--so it seems like a free verse rather than patterned rhythm. It would be hard to capture the detail perhaps in a stricter rule. *Smile* It may reflect the landscape of Ireland in its uneven variety. It did not detract me from the read or the dream. I liked "celtic world" as it suggests more than meets the eye and "mind Unfurled" sounds peaceful. Wonderful choice of vocabulary. *Thumbsup*

Your author's note is helpful too as I can imagine the spot-- the memory of famine and the hope reaching across the sea. It was a sad history.

The photo adds to the beauty and meaning of the poem. A vivid memento of your travels. I would think you could picture Hooves in that very pasture land! I am right there with you--maybe as Raven? or no..*Fairy*

Thanks for sharing your vision, appreciation of Ireland and your crafting. *Starstruck*

Keep the *Quill* handy and the ink flowing as the muse leads! *Wand*

*Fairy* eyestar
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
1022
1022
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #2077401 Unavailable **

Hiya Leger! I am happy to review for "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group to celebrate you!*Shamrock*


I was lured by the title as I enjoyed its flow and the combination of Snowy with sunset. I thought it would be hard to see a sunset in snow conditions or it would be glaring and glittery! Your title works as when I read it I saw the picture quite clearly with glitter and yet the soft blueness of a gentle light. Lovely as it appeals to me visually and energetically.

I so appreciated the soundscape of your words and the prevalant "s" sound even hinted in the title is so effectively done. It really adds to the idea of silence of the snowy wood and winter itself really--it is the rest time. *Salute*

I loved the word "grappling" with trees as it captures the image so brilliantly. In fact I may even use it in a haiku I am working on. It so fits! *Delight* Thanks!
The word "startle" was unexpected as well and wow, it is perfect way to describe the glaring sun hitting the snow! It is a cool way to add surprise to the day. Beauty can be startling. The alliteration with "sparkle" continues from the phrases before. It is so magical to see!

I see the connection or metaphor for the "day" to "night" theme of life as well. The sun brings new hope and shine to another adventure which may include "drifts" or unheavels. *Smile*

Reading this aloud made me sigh and I could enter into the vision with ease. I wanted to keep reading it! Thanks for sharing such an entrancing moment in time. *Starstruck*

Keep the *Quill* handy and the ink flowing! *Wand*

*Fairy* eyestar

*Flowerw* This is a review from "WdC Kind Hearts *Flowerw*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
1023
1023
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Image ID #2077401 Unavailable **

Hiya Minja! I am happy to review for "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group to celebrate you and your winning ticket in the Over the Rainbow Raffle!*Shamrock*


*Cat* *Delight* I love Dr. Seuss and this poem sounds like his style! The simple language and use of question mimics his work effectively and I enjoyed reading it aloud. It will really appeal to kids too as it has an apt vocabulary for them. Good job! *Smile*

*Dog1* I like how it is solved at the end where being loved and loving is the main consideration. Maybe some pets won't like to be with some people. *Wink*

*Squirrel* The pictures of the dog and cat and their possibilities are vividly described. It would have to be a special cat to wear a bow tie and hat! Some cats would not demean themselves even for their owners. LOL

*Cow* The rhythm maybe could be tweaked to be more even and the rhyme works though "be" and "bee" are the same and a couple are a bit off rhymes.
I wondered if "what's" needs to be "what it's" as it sounded odd when I read it. *Wink* and I think you need "a" in front of "bee".

*Star*Thanks for sharing this fun creation that takes me down memory lane too. Seuss did have a style all his own. *Wink*

Keep the *Quill* handy and the ink flowing! *Wand*

*Fairy*Captain eyestar
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
1024
1024
Review of Imprisoned  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
** Image ID #2077401 Unavailable **

Hiya Minja! I am back to review for "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group as a part of your gift in a winning ticket in Over the Rainbow Raffle!*Shamrock*

The title is evocative and I reflect on times where indeed I imprisoned myself with judgements and thoughts or at the barbs of other people, even those I cared about. I have come to see them all as lessons in evolving. *Smile*

Your poem expresses potently the traumatic wounding which here one feels is even worse than physical as words can be heard over and over once the person is gone. The hurt is vivid and the way you write the downward words on the page is illustrative and makes a strong visual and vibe. *Thumbsup* Does "chests" need to be "chest'?

The ending is powerful as I imagine that one in pain is so open that other negative influences can easily prevail and have one spiral lower into the victim state. Wow! This is deep stuff. I feel like readers could relate to this theme in some way as we have all been hurt somehow. The idea of being hollow like a ghost is brilliant. "darkest host" is a compelling notion.

The free style suits the theme and emotional content and the rhyme adds cohesiveness and interest.
"ground" and "wound" don't really rhyme but as there is no real pattern to the structure, it does not detract from the message. I am still pondering on whether the word "opened" near the end needs to be "open"...*Confused* I will sit with it longer. *Wink*

Thanks for sharing this potent vision that can be seen with objective eyes now! Makes me want to send those negative POVs away! *Starstruck*

Keep the *Quill* handy and the ink flowing! *Wand*

*Fairy2* Captain eyestar
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group




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1025
1025
Review of An Author's Poem  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC Emily R! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


Wow! This is such a potent wish like poem in which you clearly share your dream and express what I am sure we have all thought. The duality of worlds and communication between them is a cool theme.

Using the "I" voice makes it personal and as I read it aloud I can feel the resonance from my own experience and dream. The desire, hope and worry are all well shown in this free flow poem. All are relevant to the process of artistry.

Thanks for following your muse and letting the worlds collide--the dream fulfill itself. Step by step...they live now! *Starstruck* Keep shining!*Star*

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar

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