eyestar~*'s (1starsong) Reviews

Create New Item

Read & Review

Community

Browse By Type

Browse By Genre

Writing Resources

Sat, Feb 14, 2026

4:45am EST

Members: 482

Guests: 11,832

Total Online: 12,314

SPONSORED ITEMS

Writing.Com General Discussion

A message forum for general discussion. Please come and chat with others!

Keep me safe

Heartache that dementia brings

The Writer's Cramp

Write the best story or poem in 24 hours or less and win 10K GPS!

Noticing Newbies

A warm welcome to our newbies; come meet new and not-so-new members of Writing.Com!

BY ONLINE AUTHORS

The Mountain Retreat

A family moves in to their new home and explores what they now own.

Democracy is a myth

It's a very short piece of writing that reveals the truth about power.

The Uninvited

Journey Through Genres

The Secret of The Silver EEL

Where do EEls come from?

READ A NEWBIE

Yung Lee: Chapter II

Li Santo takes down John Cuban, the brother of Jack, though it almost costs him his life.

From my Heart, to your Hand,

This tells how i want to give to you as my appreciation.

Love At An Impasse

2 people, love each other deeply, will never be together, sit down for a hard talk.

A Charm of Goldfinches

Second chances rarely happen least of all at the first tee of a golf course.

BY ONLINE AUTHORS

Democracy is a myth

It's a very short piece of writing that reveals the truth about power.

The Cost of Being There

When illness, loss, and friendship collide, I learn the true cost of showing up.

Happiness Is an Inside Job

Friends, this is an uplifting essay. Thanks

The Secret of The Silver EEL

Where do EEls come from?

Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/1starsong/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/40

eyestar~*

Review Requests: OFF

7,130 Public Reviews Given

7,195 Total Reviews Given

Public Reviews

< ... 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 ... >

976

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4208991

Review of Wildlife

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (3.0)

Welcome to WDC chaos! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you!

I so love nature and appreciate the animals, Your theme is so relevant in today's environment.

I enjoyed reading the poem from the view of the wildlife. Having the voice be from an animal drew me into its view. I wondered what animal might be speaking and yet keeping it non specific makes it apply to all wildlife as your title implies.

I like that you use punctuation. It would be more powerful if you use question marks after the questions in line 1 and 3.

I see you have some rhyme aabcc and then it is not a pattern. eg. aabccddee
It has a free style with lines of different lengths and the idea of the animals being a part of us in the bigger picture is so true.

Line 7 seemed to take me out of the poem, asking us to "stay in our seat".

The concepts are valid and it is clear that the poet cares about the animals.

Thanks for sharing your vision.

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **

This is a review from "WdC Kind Hearts"

977

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4208768

Review of WORLD PEACE

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Welcome to WDC Don't Care! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you!

Wow! this is a fine example of this format and amazing to be a double etheree! I appreciate the effort it takes to get this in form and make sense.

Your syllables are right on!

The wisdom aspect is appealing to me as well. The images and comparisons were vivid and serve well the message of how words are so vital in the creation of war or peace. I especially like "the serpent's tooth" (notice it needs an apostrophe to show possession

and "temper the quills"!

I was a bit startled by the past tense of "started wars". Did you want it to be past or would it be more consistent to say "to start wars" as you say "to pierce..."?

It would still be true today. The syllable count would still be 10.

Thanks for sharing your inspired vision and craft!

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

978

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4208766

Review of Sakura Gang

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

Welcome to WDC Mari Dez! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you!

I enjoyed reading these short chapters and it was fascinating that it is set in Japan. You really captured the character's feelings and thoughts as you describe vividly her first school encounters in the strange land.

I like that she is intelligent and learned the language so fast. I think it is difficult to learn.

I was drawn into the story with the activity of the first line and wanted to see if she would make friends. The chapter 2 ended with a good hook and a natural thing for a new student to do!

Now I am curious to know what will happen.

"family which was now gone" is a bit rough. Maybe "who were gone". I wonder if telling more detail about how she was orphaned would give more background and interest. Was she of Japanese origin in Oregon? How did she come to be adopted by the doctor?

The dialogue was well done complete with quote marks so it was easy to follow. I like how you show her discomfort and bowing her head. Using some Japanese terms like sensei and the symbolic cherry blossoms added vividness to the atmosphere and place.

Thanks for sharing this unique theme and vision.

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

979

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4208512

Review of DRAGON QUEST

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hi catdok. Thanks for entering "DreamTime Dragon's Poem Contest" ! Here are my brief comments on your entry!

Wow! This is brilliant and original concept! I loved reading it and was charmed by your spell of the writer's quest! or is it the dragon's? Very clever. The idea of the dragon search for a poet, stellar!

Your three line verses were well balanced and the rhyme scheme was wonderful, serving the flow and soundscape. The vocabulary was topical and the blend of dragon with poet comparison is thoughtful.

I would remove the one period at the first verse just to keep consistent with your other verses. I could read it without the punctuation and felt where the query lines were. I wonder if it would add to the read to add natural punctuation, for other readers. All a matter of choice, though.

Impressive and philosophical, I really enjoyed entering this vision. All that from our firey prompt.

Keep draggon' the quill!
eyestar

"The Power Reviewers Group"

980

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4207391

Review of Suffer the little children

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

HI Joey! Happy Birthday! Here I am at your request! See, Wishes can come true!

I am more of a poet than story writer so I will give you my perspective as a reader with your questions as a guide.

My first reaction is Wow! Jake comes alive in this emotional piece and I could feel his heart wrenching misery and confusion at what he sees as Gods of all kinds failing to assist the suffering especially of children, of abandoning them with all the hollow words and concepts that he had been raised in.
I feel he was a christian, from the setting and the knowledge of the candles, and he prays at the foot of the cross. Adding the padre in the cossack and the Jesus quote adds to the notion of his faith.
It feels like a Dark night of the soul where he can find no solution in any of the belief systems. In the end, he chooses his own path, and I can so relate to his reasons and choice.
When one is amidst suffering especially with these children, one would get caught up in it and lose hope.

The hearfelt queries and angry edge is very vivid as is the described source of it. I could imagine orphans,lepers, the unclean, the starving in some poor land where tyranny reigns. I gleaned this from the "mysterious" they" you mentions.You do well to not give the whole situation away as to where exactly he is and what he will do. (which would be a whole other story} Yet one feels that it will be a dangerous undertaking and may not be of liking to the Gods. The inner thoughts to his wife are potent here too. His last words show finality very well. As you were to show the reasons for the character's belief or lack of, this piece certainly brilliantly gives us strong motivation in a vivid way.

I really feel for Jake in his state of mind and being at the end of the rope. Waiting is not longer an option when the distance is felt. You have him ask very concrete questions to the Padre and I can feel his resolve rising that he may have to take action. You show his intelligence that he has perhaps sought out other ways as you mention specifics about Moses, Jewish, Muslim etc. I assume you wanted him to have a main faith---as we see in the opening and that as a searcher may have looked to other faiths for answers. Which he did not find helpful either.

He is obviously a caring passionate individual, who has perhaps tried all he can and even trusted in the God, hoping for more direct action on the divine's part. Now he has lost his trust as can make no sense of it all. The last lines feel bitter and a strong jab at the church and God as well. It shows his resolve.

I like the metaphor of the candle wax putting our the flame--- smoke! His next response is evocative. The vocabulary like "drills", "empty promises" etc. show his frustration and growing discontent with all the religious/faith "mantras" and "rheotric". The conversation with the Padre builds the tension and shows us his own point of view moving away from what he may have been taught. It is a powerful argument and who can argue with a person so enflamed.

The writing is quite coherent and I noted only these bits that jumped out at me

The italised words in the beginning did not seem to make sense as Jake is speaking with God through the whole introduction. It was a bit confusing especially as you had quotes around the words after them---indicating a speaker. In the first 3 instances--of paragraphs 3, 4 6. They could be his inner thoughts but I do not see why they would be separated from the other rantings. He is alone. I can really see this-- it is so relevant as who has not railed at the gods!
The others later on are fine and they are his inner thoughts clearly.

When you say that he dropped a limb-- it is the first idea we get that he brought the said "boy" or "he" of the paragraph before. I had to reread this part as it confused me a bit. I see that this particular boy was the last straw for him. and What a potent reason!

"we, who assumes the risk">> "assume" singular form.

At the end.. a typo-- "have make">>> "have made}

Overall, I feel that you have created an impressive space in which to show the character's experience which is turning him away from his faith and belief in God in a very vivid, lively manner. The rationale and motivation are clearly portrayed given the location, political situation that is inferred and the horror he sees as he tries to help. It elicits an understanding for him from this reader. It leaves me with the notion he will act somehow in a different way----yet leaves open the rest of the story. He has gone through his Dark Night, yet more may be asked as the story goes on. You leave lots of hooks for further storytelling too.

Well written character piece.

Whew!

I hope my perspective helps.

eyestar

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

981

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4206929

Review of Poetry and stuff

for entry "Mag Baily"

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hi Lisa. Thanks for this delightful entry into the Inquiring Minds contest! I had a good laugh at this fictional character. You might put it under Fiction instead of just Other in the genre posting.

You really captured the essence of Mag and I could easily imagine her look and attitude.
I like the free flow in which you use some outer and inner rhyme words. I laughed as the poet sees her as a "hoot" as well. It is so ironic that everyone adores her.

I see a typo in "there boots,". >> should be "their boots".

As a poem it is not in any pattern and may need tweaking but I so enjoyed the story, image and vibration.

Your use of the prompt word is original and shows the meaning well by showing someone who goes against the "abstemious" law!

Highly entertaining.

Keep on writing and sharing your genius!

eyestar

982

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4206924

Review of Poetry and stuff

for entry "The Son"

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi lisa. Thanks for this wonderful entry into the "Inquiring Minds" contest.
The way you used the prompt word and its meaning is so inspirational and original!

I enjoyed reading the positive wonders that life and earth have to offer especially the vivid images of the baby and the kitten. Those really make your point strongly.

The flow of the free form was smooth and the enjambment "come" really works as a pause for us to ponder "come" where--before you tell us "together". You have some lovely alliterative patterns as well.

Thanks for reminding us to be grateful and focus on the good things.

Good luck in the contest.

eyestar

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

983

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4206266

Review of Life

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi Jace! I am happy to review to celebrate you in your Purple Robes!

This is a review from "WdC Kind Hearts"

I love trees and this prompt picture is beautiful. I can imagine this as a metaphor for your poem. The simple poem is about the poet and the actions spoken of is like that of a tree. Brilliant.

I like the notion of living a life with a higher perspective. "rising above" gives me the idea no matter what we face in life we have the ability to move through and transform.

I think you have looked "beyond" the prompt in a creative and yet natural way. We are forms of life and trees with roots and branches to the sky grow toward the light.

The lanturne form is well composed and follows the syllabic pattern and has the shape of a lanturne. I appreciate how you stay to the one topic and the first and last line reflect each other in meaning, like similes.

I was wondering about the punctuation and if a period was for effect in line one. I thought the next lines referred directly to your subject. I know in many Japanese forms punctuation is not used. Could be a case for that here.

Thanks for sharing your vision and tribute to tree and you! Lovely work.

Keep the ink flowing as you follow your muse and write on!
eyestar

984

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4206245

Review of Stormy Night

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hiya Sophy! Happy Anniversary! Here I am again celebrating you!

Wow!This is incredibly potent expression and I could so imagine the sight, sound and feel of the storm and its effect on the poet. Amazing how some can sleep through such a blast! The flow on the page is pleasing as it seems to mimic the zigs of lightning and the nervous system! To my weird mind anyway!

The sense of drama you create is exciting and I fall right into the vision with you. The bolded words added an emphatic noise to the moment. Your word choice creates a magical stormy soundscape too. the "smack" of rain, "crack" of lightning, the long "a' sounds etc as I read down the page aloud. The tension builds and appeals to all the senses and then you contrast it with the sleeper, who is so relaxed you want to wake him up so he can be awake too. The yearning tone at the end is so real! I could imagine a wishing sigh.

Yet, look at the poetry that comes of that wakefulness--so vivid and alive in the telling.

I am not sure you needed the word "softly" after "muttering" as muttering tends to be soft and in the storm you would not hear it anyway.

Thanks for the author's note. Your hubbies quote is so evocative. Thanks for sharing your vision and craft. It blows me away. I learn from you.

Keep the handy and the ink flowing!

eyestar

This is a review from "WdC Kind Hearts"

985

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4206239

Review of Refined (and Defined) by Fire

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hiya Sophy! Happy WDC Anniversary! I am happy to review for "The Power Reviewers Group" to celebrate you!

Wow! Your personal expression is really powerful in illustrating how this illness was a struggle and yet a transforming experience in your life. It is full of wise knowings that can inspire others too. My father suffered with rheumatoid arthritis from the time I was 9 til he died at 52. His mother suffered with it for years as well though she died at 76. It is not a pleasant illness for the person or for family dealing with it for sure. Both were amazing powers of examples for others!

It was heartwarming to read what you learned from having this disease in spite of your struggle. You were so young too. Illness can pull folks together or isolate them and it is lovely that in your life it served as a positive glue and lead you to do things you might not have done. That is a good point. If we don't give up, there is an up side--or at least a different path not seen before.

I like how you emphasis the key learning impacts in bold with clear explanations. They were interesting to read. The writing is straightforward and sincere and I felt the aura of gratitude and power. It is a gift to be able to say you wouldn't have changed a thing as courage and allowance and faith have been lessons as well. And as you said, "life happens" and how we respond makes all the difference. Sometimes we are called to go outside the box of norm to the unexplored.

I admire you. I know when I get a few aches, I just think of my dad's pain everyday and keep it in perspective. This is a meaningful essay and has a message for everyone really, no matter what our life experience. Thank you for sharing so vulnerably your wisdom.

Keep the handy and the ink flowing!
eyestar

This is a review from "WdC Kind Hearts"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

986

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4206207

Review of The Harlequin

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Hi Kiya! I am happy to review to celebrate you in your Purple Robes!

This is a review from "WdC Kind Hearts"

Oh Wow! What a cool form! Thanks for the author's link about it.
The theme in the title is fascinating and unique and your page is decorated to give a bit of flavour of the harlequin character. I recall they are in some check costumes on the stage.

Your story poem takes on a journey from a light and innocent vibe and even meeting the fairy is a bit of fun, and then it turns dark. The writing kept me reading as I wanted to find out what would happen. the image of the fairy ribbons and her laughter was clear and I assumed it had some magic to lull the man. I liked the way you described her watching and then appearing. Lovely image. Not sure you need "restlessly", just showing her tapping lends us to see this.

The bits of dialogue add to the dramatic effect and give characters life.

The form is well composed and I appreciate the effort to get it right. I wondered if you began with a Z or X word as they would be hard ones.

A few little glitches popped for me:
In the second line you use "with" twice. I wondered at maybe saying "and no Cares..."
I couldn't tell if "persistently" goes with "echoed" or "running". Punctuation would help here. A period maybe and I think a period after "wore" and "senses" would make the read clearer.
I wondered at the word "your mortality" as if you are speaking now to us, instead about her.' maybe.

Impressive composition that entertains and engages the reader and gives us an understanding of this character. I had fun entering your vision.

Keep the ink flowing as you follow your muse and write on!
eyestar

** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **

GROUP
The Power Reviewers Group (E)
The Power Crew inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

987

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4206190

Review of The Ballad of Aurora and Cisco

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hi jace! I am happy to review to celebrate you in your Purple Robes!

This is a review from "WdC Kind Hearts"

I enjoy singing so this Ballad appealed to me and I couldn't wait to see who the characters with the lovely names were. Your tagline cleared that up. Too bad I don't know your tune.

I had such fun reading this song with his vibrant images of the girl and the cat and I had to laugh at the last line about the video. It would be a riot to see.

The picture of the three year old holding the cat is so clear and I have seen how some cats don't appreciate that kind of hold. That the cat disagrees is evident in the details of its actions. The wood "doom" says it all and we can fill in the blanks as you give no picture. Very dramatic is the dance scene.

I felt the spontaneity of the action of the child and the word "rambunctious" covers a lot of territory. The verses are well composed with wonderful rhyme and action. Words like "strut", "pixie cut" and "twirls" are illustrative. Oh I love how you rhymed "Aurora" as it is difficult. "camera" works well. The alternate lines rhyme is abab is effective.
I wanted to read the last line without the "for",not sure why. maybe, grammatically you need a "the" Minor glitch . "a perfect.." though I know you mean for the show.

The author's note on the Ballad was interesting and convenient. Your piece is graphic, simple and energetic in its vibe. It is entertaining and seems to flow well, though I do not know the tune.
The alliterative bits assist with pace and song-like flow.

This is like a photograph! Thanks for sharing this vision of your Aurora!

Keep the ink flowing as you follow your muse and write on!
eyestar

** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **

GROUP
The Power Reviewers Group (E)
The Power Crew inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

988

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4206094

Review of Quiet Fire

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hi Jace! I am happy to review to celebrate you in your Purple Robes!

This is a review from "WdC Kind Hearts"

I was drawn to the flame of the title with its interesting image-a fire being quiet. It is intriguing. Good choice.

This is delightful with vivid imagery and a happy surprise ending. The first line is so appealing with the unique description "curled edges of fire". Absolutely brilliant. The contrast in the 2nd line is vivid and adds another hint of what you speak of.

Your personification by having them has a "task" is effective.

I wondered whether you needed the word "the" before "wind and rake" as it sounds odd not to say "the rake" as well. If you dropped the word, "by wind and rake" flows better.

The short piece well deserves it's first place in the contest. It is a pleasure to read and flows well with a good word variety and soundscape.

The quietness of the pile is well contrasted and with the very lively active image at the end. The joy is evident and made me smile as it brings up good memories! You have a gift for the hint!

Keep the ink flowing as you follow your muse and write on!
eyestar

** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

989

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4206080

Review of Gum In My Hair

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

! I am happy to review to celebrate you in your Purple Robes!

This is a review from "WdC Kind Hearts"

I was lured by the title as it struck me as a unique theme about which to write. Getting gum out of someone's hair is not fun! I thought it might be rather funny to read.

I was happy to see a stream of consciousness as a form. I love it. The explanation in author's note is edifying as well. I did not realise it did have a definition per se.

This was fun to read as it flowed along and I had no trouble making sense of your thoughts about this "chewing gum" theme in the movie and seeing where it might be useful to you. I have enjoyed the movie and now I will have to watch it again to remind me of the details. I think I even have a 4 movie DVD of it with other Sandra Bullock films. Somewhere!!

Your idea that there are many reasons to put gum in your hair is cute but makes sense if following Vivi's notion. I had to smile at the "whole pack"! The last line shows well your preoccupation with the mundane subject! I had to smile as it is a puzzlement.

The enjambents were fun and mimic thoughts in progress seeming without intent of specific structure. Cool! I wondered about the word "evidently" and if it was necessary.

I enjoyed this bit of entertainment and may have a go at this in the way you describe.
Thanks for sharing this vision and I hope you don't puzzle too long abut chewing gum that you actually end up trying putting it in your hair for a while as an experiential experiment.

Keep the ink flowing as you follow your muse and write on!
eyestar

** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **

GROUP
The Power Reviewers Group (E)
The Power Crew inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

990

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4206072

Review of Safe Again

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hiya Jace! I am happy to review to celebrate you in your Purple Robes! Surprise!

This is a review from "WdC Kind Hearts"

The title is evocative and made me think of many things to be safe from and the word "again" reflected the idea that there may be one place to which one returns to be safe. Or that there is adventure involved. The tag line helped narrow it down nicely without giving it away.

I love trees so this setting and the concept appealed to me and made me smile. The story is so charming and this example of "recycling" was a brilliant idea. What a treasure.

I was impressed with the cycle effect in the story, both for the tree and the boy! Wonderfully conceived.

Only 55 words related this story and your first word drew my attention. I was sad when I saw what was making the noise and yet wondered too at the reason for the tree cutting. The word "old" does indicate to me that perhaps it was falling down or damaged. I hope it wouldn't be cut for nothing.

The sadness is evoked for the man in the story as I felt it in the end of the second line--the passing of an age vibe. The imagery of the bed and the use of "heirloom" and "bosom" is so suggestive and vivid and helped create a potent warm vibe.

The story was well told with enough details for me to imagine and to see beyond. It was pleasant to read aloud and flowed smoothly will some nice alliterative sounds. the building up to the surprise ending is well done--I like the idea of "fate"! The personification of the tree is effective and adds to notion that this tree was truly appreciated for its gift in all its seasons.

Thanks for sharing your vision. I so appreciate that you can write a complete story in so few words. It was very moving.

Keep the ink flowing as you follow your muse and write on!
eyestar

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

991

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4205747

Review of My Names

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hiya Cymaemon! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you as this interesting little piece came up of the random reads!

The title indeed suits the two verse poem on you multi names. I enjoyed the contrast of the legal names to the "heart" names as they have a different vibe.

The flow of the read is pleasing and it is cool how you have rhymed the first verse yet the seconds reads more poetically or lyrically. My favourite one!

I am not sure what a sevenling is so I looked it up.

It might be nice to leave a link about it as it is rather cool. I like how your last line really did sum the theme of the poem.

Thanks for sharing this bit of fun and showing me another new form! I am inspired to try it once I study it more.

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

992

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4205744

Review of The Spare Time

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (3.0)

Welcome to WDC Norman H. Douglas! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you!

This title popped up on the Random Reads and it struck me as an interesting idea to say "THE spare time" as a specific time.

It is an evocative piece and I enjoyed reading it aloud for the flow and alliterative qualities like:"Missing our mistakes", "mocking moves" and the inner rhymes. The image in the third verse struck me as comical.

The last line is interesting as well. It does have a lyrical quality.

I noticed a few glitches:
"hopes" needs an apostrophe if you mean "hope is">> "hope's".

I wondered why this was in Children's Genre. I may be missing something.

Thanks for sharing your vision.

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

993

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4205732

Review of Gingerbread

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: ASR

| (5.0)

Hiya Whiskers! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you as this item popped up on the random reads!

LOL. I love the song of Silver Bells and this parody is so fun! You did an awesome job with the lyrical mimicry. I had fun singing.

The concept of building a gingerbread house is brilliant and the images of vivid using all the various yummy goodies used to make them. The process is well described as well. It must have taken time to get it to fit the words to fit the music.

An entertaining seasonal song. I think kids would enjoy singing it as well.

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

994

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4205714

Review of A lyrical riddle

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Welcome to WDC Psyman! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you!

I like the idea of a lyrical riddle when I saw your title! It is unique. I was drawn right from the first alliterative lines.
The poem is a free flow in the manner of a riddle and the ideas and images are vivid and interesting. I have no idea of the answers to the riddles but they were fun to read and ponder.

The flow well and follow a repetitive pattern in verses 1-2, and a different one in 4-5. The "may have" has interesting clues.

The third verse feels like a turn as it changes in form. I had to smile at "bugs in my bed" and "tributes in my life" is expansive idea.

This is a great puzzler! It will keep me thinking. Are there answers? LOL

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

995

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4205179

Review of Camp California

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hiya Jeff! I am happy to review to celebrate you in your purple robes!

This is a review from "WdC Kind Hearts"

This is an amazing composition getting these ideas into this strict form. Thanks for the author's note on the Double Etheree. And for the wonderful link to the Camp you visited. What an amazing experience. I loved the picture of the camp on the website--lovely green space.

The poem captures the essence of this camp as a healing and joyful space for city kids to get in touch with nature away from the city stresses. Vocabulary images like "crystalline water", "flora" and lines 3-5 are vivid. Nature as a "therapist" is a sage concept. I liked "innocence reclaimed" too. It is so hopeful. "Apart from grief" is an unusual and awesome choice of phrase too.

The form is well achieved in its syllables. Wow! It flowed quite naturally too given the ascending and descending line counts. I felt that references to nature and earth several times reinforces its importance. Personifying Mother earth shows her to be loving and nurturing in a more personal way.

Thanks for sharing your vision and crafting as you spread the word about this camp.
Wonderful tribute and your tone and choice of memories reveal your fondness of the experience and the work done there.

Keep the handy and the ink flowing!

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

996

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4205149

Review of As she waits

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: 18+

| (4.0)

** Image ID #2077401 Unavailable **

Hiya kindredkitty! I am happy to review for to celebrate you with your winning ticket from The Over the Rainbow Raffle!

Your title evokes a moving image as I am curious about who waits and your tag line gives me the clue which makes me sad to think that a cat is abandoned perhaps. I like cats!

Oh this is so sad and your personification of the waiting cat is well done. Putting the thoughts in her head makes us identify with her growing anxiety, wonder and then realization. I get the notion that the owner is elderly and maybe went to hospital and cannot get back to see to the cat.
I am sure animals miss the vibes of their owners. In this case, the whole routine is off so the cat knows something.

The verses were pleasing to read with a smooth flow and consistent rhyme scheme. I like the ideas of "tangled" thoughts and "attacks" as a verb! The last verse gives a potent image to my mind.

I think the theme is so relevant as change happens quite often in families and the pets can be caught in the tragedy or strain.

Thanks for sharing your vision so vividly.

Keep the handy and the ink flowing!
Captain eyestar
"The Power Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

997

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4205034

Review of Birthday Island

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: ASR

| (4.0)

** Image ID #2077401 Unavailable **

Hiya Jeff I am back to review for "The Power Reviewers Group" to celebrate you!

Aha! I went scurrying around to find what a rondeau was and why it seemed a familiar form! And now I know: In Flanders Fields had the same pattern! You have it down well with the two rhyme sounds, the refrain repeated and the line count.

The first line is evocative as I wondered what happened the day before. I like how we get to imagine. The dramatic last line made me laugh and would be such a realistic thing to do in the situation. It was kind of humourous to only have party gear from a shipwreck.

The rhyming words were interesting and I bet it took time to get them to work. I smiled at the idea of a "pink slip" and the "plea" for a "round trip".

I see the verses have 4, 3, 5 lines which is a reflection of the 5, 4, 6 lines that I read about. Cool. I was wondering if the rule was strict.

I noticed some of your rhythm syllables did not match to the same count. The first verse seemed to set the pattern of 8 count but then in other verses it was not so regular. The one that threw me off the beat the most when reading aloud was line 2 in verse 3. The word "friendly" made it bumpy and long.

In the second last line I wanted to drop "feel" to shorten it up and give the emphasis to "must". It would be more potent as the word "feel" slows it down. We already know the writer is expressing how he feels.
I am not sure if the rhythm is supposed to have even beat though In Flanders Fields it does. I am not good with form poems myself so what can I say?

I was entertained by the tale and the whining pleaful voice of the poet. The contrast between his lot and the night before celebratory party can be inferred. And you let us imagine what mayhem that party might have caused. He got more than a hangover.

Thanks for sharing your vision of this Party!

Keep the handy and the ink flowing!

eyestar
"The Power Reviewers Group"

This is a review from "WdC Kind Hearts"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

998

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4205021

Review of Hooves of Fire's Poetry Journal

for entry "My Bad Horn Day"

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: 18+

| (5.0)

** Image ID #2077401 Unavailable **

Good day Hooves! Here I am with a last of your reviews to honour your generosity in St. Pat's Auction and Raffle!

I couldn't resist the title Hooves of Fire and curiosity rose about a bad horn day. I am always happy to hear about this persona! We really need a bull emoticon.

This is so dramatic and I could almost hear the voice tone in frustration and vengeful! I like the twist--a little this for that! The first line about "glamour" was priceless and of course, the herd would think they had glamour days! How else would humans know?

The couplets were superb in rhyme and flow and the pace was quick as the action moved along. It was pleasant to read aloud and so entertaining. Active verbs like "snap went the shutter", "snorted and kicked up a fuss" added drama and sound appeal too.

I liked the verse where she waited patiently, all the while plotting. It sounded like a cow thing biding its time. The picture you paint of her reaction to the photo shoot and those on the range gathering the recall is so vivid I can well imagine it. The cows over by the creek under a tree having a good time.

Thanks for sharing another fun tale and your effective crafting. I love the pic of the cows!
eyestar

Keep the handy and the ink flowing!

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

999

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4204888

Review of Wonderland

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

** Image ID #2077401 Unavailable **

Hiya Jeff! I am happy to review for "The Power Reviewers Group" to celebrate you!

I spotted the magical title and thought it would fit in with our Mayhem Raid!
Indeed does as it is based on the Alice story! The picture is lovely as a prompt and adds colour to the page.

I was drawn in by the first alliterative lines by your inviting tone and positive assurance that Wonderland is the answer to life and a grand adventure. The second verse bids us to let go and enter. The third verse gives a warning that we might never come back but by that time it feels too late. LOL

The Kyrielle appears true to form with a perfect rhyme scheme and it was so pleasant to read aloud. The verses are compact and flow seamless. Your sound combinations add to pacing and flow and the "o" emulates a hollow or space. As we go deeper I can imagine it echo---let go.... The summative couplet repeats the welcome and I get the idea that it is ready for the next ..er..victim. I suppose it will depend on one's point of view--it might be nice to be a child forever and be in awe and innocence. yet the idea of no choice to leave is not that appealing.

It is interesting the pondering that your piece evokes. My mind is off somewhere. Alice in Wonderland was never one of my favourites for some reason and I never wanted a copy. I did work with a grade 2 and 3 class one year to do the musical version. It was fun. They made costumes and everything, learned the songs and words. Something they remember!

Thanks for sharing this tribute to the prompt of Wonderland. It feels like you weave a spell!

Keep the handy and the ink flowing!

eyestar

This is a review from "WdC Kind Hearts"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

1000

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4204753

Review of Hoovsie at the Helm

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

** Image ID #2077401 Unavailable **

Hiya Hooves! I am so thrilled to review you for "The Power Reviewers Group" in honour of your win in The St. Patrick's Day Auction and Raffle! I always enjoy visits to your port.

Oh my gosh! I could not resist this item when I dug through your treasures to find something I have not reviewed. I love Trek! I see this is an older poem for the contest but so new to me so here I be!

I like the title as it is alliterative and made me smile at the picture of Hooves on the enterprise! The persona of Hooves is effectively portrayed as the speaker--er dreamer of the tale. The light hearted energy and excitement is contagious as you dream of what could be.
I liked the query of what it would be like without Kirk! And that you'd have a squirrel at your side! Why not? At least you didn't say tribble! LOL

The idyllic hope of human and animals flying together is a wonderful idea--speaking to the connection we do all have on this planet---guess we have to get it right here before going on!
I burst out laughing at the end. So funny and great play on words! I could picture this brave little bull in the dream of being in charge and yet, still young as he runs at the end. So cute. A peaceful Hooves, not a fighter.

The poem was appealing to read aloud as it flowed smoothly and the rhyme added to the pace and movement. It is expressive and the punctuation assisted the overall read.

The references to Star Trek were woven in coherently. I can see Scottie beaming up the bull--hey he can do a whale in the movie!

I had so much fun with this entertaining poem! Thanks for sharing your vision and gift!

Keep the handy and the ink flowing!

Captain eyestar
"The Power Reviewers Group"
Thanks for your generosity in the Auction!

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/1starsong/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/40