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1051
1051
Review of Puzzle piece  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC kindredkitty! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


I am back as I saw this cool title! Yep, we are indeed puzzles and mysteries!
This short piece has a clear image and the idea of lock and puzzle really work to show how you feel. The plea in the last line is moving and gives readers who may feel the same an invitation to ponder and go deeper.

I think what if I am the door and the who I am desiring to connect to and when I do that I will belong anywhere and like minded will show up. OH yeah, "doesnt" is "doesn't". *Wink*

Oh I do like evocative ideas. And the questions can lead to awarenesses that lead to more questions and so on as we grow, change and glow! *Star* So I bet there could be more yet.

Thanks for expressing you! *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **



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1052
1052
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC kindredkitty! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


Wow! Such a dark dramatic title struck my attention on the Read A Newbie Page.
The free flow poem has a vivid image and potent emotion. I can imagine the emotional frustration of not feeling able to be real and express your truth. The restriction is what creates the monster. Well done. *Thumbsup* It is relevant theme to which many can relate at one time.

I like the style of short phrasings that give a blunt stopping in motion to the flow. You created the duality with clarity and I can remember a time when I felt like that. Whew!

If you add more genres instead of Other, you my attract like minds. eg. emotional, personal, dark, etc.

Thanks for sharing your vision with such vitality! *Starstruck* Let the muse fly!

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
1053
1053
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.0)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC Dark Saber Tiger! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


*Ghost* I found this on the Read a Newbie page. The title doesn't seem to go with the story but is more general especially as you only have one story in here. *Wink* Are you planning to put many short pieces in this item?

I see you have a title on the page that fits this short story. I would leave a line space after it to separate it from the story. It would look better too. *Smile*

I really liked the names of your characters as they gave me a smile. The dog's name is so suitable especially when we see the twist at the end! Good job.

The basic story line is coherent and I could follow it. I wondered if adding details would give it more power. Like how did he get the dog in the first place, where did he find the dog? what kind of dog? It seemed abrupt to go from not finding his dog to "finally he found him". Maybe tell more about his search. I wondered if the dog came and went and maybe at night turned colour and looked normal in the day. maybe he was meaner too at some part of the day if the boy never knew he was a ghost and would do that to him in the end. You sparked my imagination now! *Delight* what is the whole story?

I think you can tightenn up the writing by combining lines 3 and 4 as in "He liked to play with his dog a lot." It avoids repetition.

I wondered what made the dog turn on him even though you make it a happy ending.
The word "they're" needs to be "their" in the last line.

Thanks for sharing your first story at WDC. I enjoyed the premise of the ghost dog that looked real. It has the potential and worth a bit of tweaking to make it more potent. *Star*

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
1054
1054
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC acebailey! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


The title is wonderful for the piece and reminds me of the "Life is like a box of chocolate line" so it really hints at a metaphor. Good job. I never liked coffee but your symbolism rocks!

The story is like a parable with a wise professor! I like how you show human nature here in the choice of cups. What a brilliant image to use for the commentary. *Thumbsup* I really liked the variety of cups.

The paragraphs were organized and the story coherent and had an interesting suitable setting in which to share the philosophical wisdom of how to live, without attachment to outer form. *Smile* Good point!

Glitches I ponder on: I noticed in paragraph two it begins "Offering..coffee" but then he goes to get it. I think this could be simplified by dropping the first phrase. Or changing it. Also I would use an active verb for "telling" eg. and "asked them to help themselves" . You used the word "coffee" three times in the line so drop the last one. *Wink* As we know what they will get.

The ending is inspiring and quickly sums up the message. Well done! *Starstruck* I really enjoyed this vision. Thanks for speaking from experience and sharing your wisdom.

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
1055
1055
Review of There is Rain  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC Lindsay! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


*Fairy*Your title appealed to me as it was factual and yet made me ask so what? Thus I had to check it out so what a good hook! *Smile*

The free flowing poem is filled with images or rain both as real and symbolic. Wow! The refrain that is repeated is effective as it drove me on to find out what more there could be to discover.
The simple ending felt like a truth--- no depth or reason needed. Interesting.

You have wonderful images and I really liked to ponder the one about drought as looking deeper to the meaning beyond.

The words flow smoothly and the "but's create a pause between each one, like raindrops hitting the ground.

I wondered at the order of your images. It seems that it would make more sense to begin with the physical rain pictures like the rain, the hose, the drought and then present the more personal forms: tears, upset and then the demand. *Wink* Just an thought than occurred to me when I thought of looking deeper than the obvious physical form.

Thanks for sharing your vision and craft at WDC. I enjoyed entering your dream.*Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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1056
1056
Review of The Horror Near  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with The Dark Society  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC Brent! Happy Valentine's Day! This review is being given as part of the "Valentine's Day Review Massacre" 
*Heart*

Wow! I am glad I am not caught in this nightmaric cycle not knowing whether I dream or not. You create the dilemma and panic effectively. *Thumbsup*

The interlacing of a chorus like verse between main verse is well conceived and keeps the dramatic aura building to the tragic end. Nice twist all along with the "eyes".

The short verses suit the emotional intensity and the rhyme is well done. It helped the flow and pace when I read it aloud. The imagery during the spiral descent was vivid too. Powerful expression. *Starstruck*

Thanks for sharing your craft and vision. Have fun writing more at WDC! *Smile*

eyestar
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#1300305 by Maryann
1057
1057
Review of Whispering Walls  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with The Dark Society  
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Hiya Nixie! *Flowerw* This is a review to honour BLUE MODS from "WdC Kind Hearts"  *Flowerw* I had to pick you!
and I playing Darkling as a part of the "Valentine's Day Review Massacre" . A lotta love and little bit of mischief!*Devilish* Happy Valentine's Day!


*Heart* Wow! This is a fascinating story! The character is well shown in his disregard for the superstitions right from the start. I like how you use all the 13's to make the point! *Smile* The title lured me in as it is evocative, alliterative and appealed as a theme.

*Smile* The first paragraph sets the scene, intent and character in a vivid brief way and drew me into the story of how he will do this disproving. The interplay between Kathleen and Flint is natural and it is neat how you leave us indications that things aren't what they seem, though we may not know why til the end. Good job.
His puzzlement is vivid and yet he is determined to go through with his plan.

*Fairy* It is cool how you have the room move. The description of the place is detailed and I can picture him there with the whispering! You unravel the tale in dialogue slowly until the unexpected revelation. Wow! This is spooky and a wonderful psychological play. The voices inhabiting the walls and room are a cool construct as if the room too was traumatized by the event that he couldn't recall.

*Thumbsup* All your clues from that lobby scene make sense when we read the ending. *Smile*

*Heart*I followed the story in a coherent way and enjoyed the dialogue which moved the story along. It was well written and a neat metaphor of how one can be trapped in one's guilt or trauma and yet split off to escape.

*Salute*This is so creative in its concept and I enjoyed entering unsuspectingly into the vision. *Starstruck* Thanks for sharing your gifted creation.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
1058
1058
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with The Dark Society  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


*Balloonp* HiyaJatog the Green! Happy Valentine's Day! This review is being given as part of the "Valentine's Day Review Massacre" 


The title gives a vivid clue of the content of the story and it drew my attention. I really liked the voice and style of speaking as we are drawn into the man's account of his predawn experiences. The opening paragraph makes it seem like a real account and sets us up for the unbelievable. *Thumbsup* I liked the last bit about being beyond "limited imagination".

I notice you used a number of adverbs that do not really describe vividly:
eg. "eerily peaceful"--what is it like? "wickedly walking".. what does that look like?

I don't think you need to use both "revolt" and "revolution" for the reason. One will suffice as they are not that different. I smiled at the word "ante meridian" though it did throw me out of the story a bit. I wonder if everyone would get that word. Maybe simplify.

The descriptions of the scene and actions are detailed and clear. I could follow the tale readily and it would be helpful to put his inner dialogue in italics maybe. eg. "What in the world did I just witness? I thought" to separate it from his narrative voice. It does add drama when he pops in his inner thoughts of the moment.

The ending is evocative and made me curious. Where would he go? Does he mean move away? I wonder if after the second experience he made any more attempts to wonder at that time of night. Was it still going on? did he tell a neighbour. And why were there more the second time. LOL. Only so much you can say in a Cramp entry. *Smile*

You did well to show the confusion and his questioning his reality! Thanks for sharing your dark creation. *Star*


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1059
1059
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with The Dark Society  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloonp* Hiya Sailor M! Happy Valentine's Day! *Heart* This review is being given as part of the "Valentine's Day Review Massacre" 


Your title gives an interesting setting for a story as I can imagine different scenarios. I like the creative way your mused created from and used the prompt words. *Thumbsup*

Dialogue is a good way to begin as it drew me into the characters and their plan. It also carried the story and was natural in flow, revealing some action and their tones. The rule of thumbs these days is not to use adverbs like "hesitantly" but to Show what you mean. eg. how could you show hesitancy in the speech or action. Like a bit of a stutter--- er..ok, but..." Also I don't think you needed to say "confidently" as it seems Mike is a go to it guy! We get that from his taking the lead in the project.

I was thrown out a bit at the fourth paragraph as it seemed out of kilter with the present time. I see where you needed to tell us that they had done something at an earlier time. Perhaps using "had used a laptop" sets it back as well. I was into the conversation and after this part wanted to say "so what?" I wonder how it could more smoothly connect to the next part. Just needs a tweak.

*Smile* The descriptions and dialogue inside were awesome. It was an unexpected find! I could imagine the creatures and Mike's focus even while these sounds were occurring. I would have been out of there.*Smile* The ending was quick and having Mike go first fit the scene. The word first gives rise to the idea that John was not fast enough either. Good one! It also leaves it open to thinking that the doors are now open so who will be next outside the walls. Creepy!

I enjoyed playing in your vision ..er....well I got out of there fast! *Wink* Thanks for sharing your creativity and craft. *Starstruck*

Keep on musing and write on! *Quill*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
1060
1060
Review of Take Me  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with The Dark Society  
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
*Balloonp* Hiya Nikola! This review is being given as part of the "Valentine's Day Review Massacre" 


*Heart*Happy Valentine's Day! OH wow! This is certainly as vivid image of sensuality and the power of the vampire is well shown. The first lines caught my imagination as I get a glimpse of those eyes and the sound rhyme in the fist line and all the s sounds made me think of a sneaky sneak and sizzling sneers. The "s" sound is highlighted throughout! *Thumbsup*

The title is dramatic and suits the poem's essence. I had to smile at the tag line. LOL

I can follow the slow seduction with ease as it builds up and she becomes choiceless in the end. Detailed description appealed and involved me in the scene.

I did wonder a bit about a few punctuations. The first line has a verb and is complete thought, the second has no verb so it kind of sat there. I was actually expecting another verb to mirror "mesmerize". *Wink* Now this may be a case of poetic lisence with punctuation as well.
I thought a period would work better after "spell" to give us pause to embrace the fact.

I think it is interesting and unexpected that it is His instinct that whispers to her. Or is it her instinct arising, and then he says words and she responds at the end? Repeating the title lines add emphasis to the fact of the hunger for the encounter and gives it more drama! *Thumbsup*

I enjoyed entering the free form vision which gives Valentine romance a darker vibe!*Starstruck*
Thanks for sharing and keep the blood ...er ink flowing as you write on!

eyestar
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*Flowerw* This is also a review to honour BLUE MODS in "WdC Kind Hearts"  *Flowerw*

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
1061
1061
Review of Toshiba Temerity  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with The Dark Society  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


*Balloonp* Hiya Don Two! This review is being given as part of the "Valentine's Day Review Massacre" 


*Shock* Oh Wow! this was thrilling to read. I really felt its potent vibe as it built up to the end! The reference to Hal was brilliant as an additional scare tactic!

The creativity and uniqueness of the theme and the images came across so vividly on my screen! Using compute lingo as real--- personification was excellent. The Ram, word as a tongue. *Laugh*

Your format or form of poem is well composed as well--appealing on the page. The comparison in the first line was delightful. In the second paragraph you did a fine job detailing vividly how you felt in the body. Referencing to woman's experiences in the next verse brought a strong image too of violation.

I followed the panicked scenes with ease though I felt the need for a comma after the cool notion of "manic wrens within" before "to tug"--as it is a phrase. I had to reread it on my first pass to get it straight.*Wink* This part I did not really get:" wings were riot prone." did you mean "that were riot prone?" It was rather a long line to connect. *Confused*

It was creepy at the end. The eye imagery is interesting too. The net is always , modems flashing. who knows who is peering in and listening even when com is off. Creepy! *Shock*

I so enjoyed this entertaining original vision! Thanks for musing! *Starstruck* Keep the ink flowing...er the keys clacking *Laugh* and write on!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
1062
1062
Review of The Last Night  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with The Dark Society  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Balloonp* Hiya D. Carlson! This review is being given as part of the "Valentine's Day Review Massacre" 


Whoah! This was entertaining to read and I liked the unique way you employ the prompt words! *Thumbsup* It made me smile thought the theme of the piece is rather dark. I had to laugh at the use of "desperado" and "lyin' eyes" was so appropriate.

The second line notion was unexpected and leaves us to our imagination. A unique revenge plot. The last line was evocative as I see him just sauntering away like a cowboy into the setting sun. Wonderful.

The story was coherent and easy to follow and I like how you leave some room for our imagination like the "unconscious lover". I assume they were speaking at their home after the bar incident?

The point of view was clear and well done in the first person. *Thumbsup*

I had fun with this and could recall all of the songs, which added to the experience. Well done Cramp entry. *Starstruck*

Keep the ink flowing and write on.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
1063
1063
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with The Dark Society  
Rated: E | (3.0)
*Balloonp* Hiya sweet_love! Welcome to WDC! This review is being given as part of the "Valentine's Day Review Massacre" 


*Delight* Wow. The end of your story left me hanging! I can imagine it would be a bit scary for kids playing if an unexpected person showed up. What was it about him that would have made you nervous? Leaving it for us to put in our own vision is interesting and lets our minds imagine all sorts of things.

You describe the day and the light hearted fun and it is well contrasted with the suddenness of being alone with the unknown. I wonder if your title gives too much away.

In the first paragraph I notice some typos: "yard the play" needs to be "yard to play" and "where playing" needs to be "were".

Where you say "about an hour or two" it is vague. When retelling a story, make it specific to avoid unnecessary words. Even if you are not sure exactly how long, choose a time.

I would suggest even putting your two lines together for better flow and grammar.
eg." I decided to .....backyard to play with my sister for a while."

In the second paragraph you have good detail. I would put a period after "bathroom" and tie the next tow line together like "I was still playing when I looked up at a tree nearby and saw..."
It makes it less like a run on sentence and avoids saying "playing" twice. *Wink* The word "wear" needs to be "where".

This is a good start and you could add more details to make it lively. A little tweak of grammar and tightening up the style as suggested is worthwhile. It sounds like your sister and you were close and liked to have fun. I often wonder what being a twin would be like especially if you look alike. That might make a great story too.

*Starstruck*Thanks so much for posting your first story. I hope my comments were helpful and look forward to seeing more of your writing. Hey, how about a little bio so we can get to know you.*Wink*


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1064
1064
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with The Dark Society  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Balloonp* Hiya Yarrow! Happy Valentine's Day!
This review is being given as part of the "Valentine's Day Review Massacre" 


*Heart*Wow! This is a potent lament in which I can so hear the lady's pleas and how willing she is to go to whatever end to be with her beloved. I like the contrast of Charlie's wanting her to go away and quit crying! LOL

The dialogue between them is well done and it was easy to follow and the punctuation assisted this.
The language you use suits the time and gothic genre as well. I found it appealing. eg. "graven sleep".
I like how you counter his words with her "earthen sleep"! *Smile* His warning is deliciously dark.
Her threat at the end leaves me thinking somehow he will do something to help her.*Wink*

The verses were well composed and balanced with a consistent and pleasing rhyme. While syllables in each line were not to any one pattern, the lines flowed easily when I read it aloud. The images are vivid and the lamenting tone is vibrant. You have captured her reactive drama effectively.

This was fun to read in a darkling way for Valentine's day! His granted her request would certainly be a unique gift for the day! LOL the desire of her heart. Thanks for sharing your vision and craft! *Starstruck*

Write on!


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1065
1065
Review of A Ghostly Poem  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with The Dark Society  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Flowerw*Happy Valentine's Day Maryann!
This is a review to honour Blue Mods from "WdC Kind Hearts"  *Flowerw*

I am also playing a Darkling today and reviewing as part of "Valentine's Day Review Massacre" ! A lotta love and a little mischief*Devil*


*Heart* Aww! I didn't know you had a fondness for ghosts! I really liked the positive outcome of dealing with them!

I could follow the poem coherently and the rhyming couplet style suited the theme especially the ghost children. It puts one in mind of child rhymes.*Smile*

*Fairy* The rhythm of the couplets was not even and it did not detract from the interesting story line. It flowed fairly well though ideally it would be more potent in flow if designed with more balanced rhythm in the couplets.
That said, the few spots that could use tweaking as it is: If I may be so *Devilish*

*Wand*I would remove "seemed" from the second line to keep it direct and active language and it helps the flow. Or something like "The asking price was too good to be true"--- it clears up he awkward passive "that". *Wink*

The second line in the third verse is awkward.
In verse 8 I felt that the first line could be shortened for a better flow. Maybe remove "standing".And the last line seemed really long to say smoothly.*Wink*

*Ghost*The description of the house and the reactions of the children, real and ghostly are vividly portrayed. *Thumbsup* I liked the vision of verses 9, 11, and 12 especially. They were fun to read.
I like the idea that they become part of the family and wonder if their story will be known by the family. And what about the woman who died---did she know of these ghosts and like the poet, become their mom. Cool to ponder.

*Ghost*This is such a charming account of this ghost home and well worth tweaking! *Wink*
The voice is consistent and clear and the light vibe emanates as the poet approaches the whole house and its mystery with calm and understanding. Wonderful! *Starstruck*

Thanks for sharing this lovely creation with its supernatural flavour. It rocks! *Thumbsup*

Keep the ink flowing and write more! *Quill*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
1066
1066
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
*Fairy* Hiya Megan! Here I am with 5th review for you in the "Once Upon a Jane Austen Activity" *Heart* I thought it was the month to read it and it fits with our Raid theme too. *Bigsmile*


It is so cool to focus on the theme of Valentines in Jane's time. I could see your busy inquiring mind wondering what it would be like. Thanks for following leads to bring us this interesting information, what there is of it.*Smile* It would be lovely to have more dances for the occasion and love notes are romantic. Texting...er... not so much.*Wink*

I was surprised to see you use the word "Austenite" when I just learned earlier in reading that "Janeit" works too. *Wink* Both are cool. I thought you might have thrown it in there. LOL

Thanks for adding the craft lesson on valentines. It is a relevant and fun feature to this edition. I like the quotes you mentioned as examples of messages. I would not have thought of using ideas from love stories. Cool. *Thumbsup* I am not sure what DIY is? *Confused* It is not coming to me. *Facepalm*

I notice a typo where you have a comma where none is needed> paragraph 4: 'and romantic, a letter..." It is complete thought without the comma.*Wink*

Your tone was inviting as usual and the red font suit the theme. Cool that you found a handsome pic of Darcy for the occasion. Does Valentine's Day need an apostrophe? I notice you don't use one and I have only seen it with one.*Smile* mmm.?

Your newsletters always add a new layer to my understanding of the life and times of Jane Austen as well as connections to your own life and art as it relates to the topic. Shs sounds like she is an inspiration and triggers your own unique creative spirit, as original as Jane herself. *Starstruck*

Thank you for this awesome contribution and for sharing the brilliant Unique *Star* you are and you create and teach others!

*Star* Light on the path and write on! Eyestar

*Flowerw* This is a review to spotlight BLUE from "WdC Kind Hearts"  *Flowerw*


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1067
1067
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Heart**Fairy*HI Germac! I am here with a review to celebrate you in our *Heart* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  Raid!


Oh yummy! I can smell the bread from here. Your poem makes me think of getting off the school bus and entering the house on bread making day--- the aroma of hot bread with butter and homemade soup! Once a week my mom or dad baked bread for the week!*Smile*

My favourite part was the flow of the first four lines and what you did with the repeated words and H sounds! Lovely to read aloud. I had to smile at the emphasis of "Happenstance" as the poem lets us in on the idea that everybody knew when baking was happening and.... knew when to show up. LOL
12 miles? ! *Shock* This is cute!

I think a period could replace the comma after "breads". It then gives the stress on "The lucky" in the next lines , which are coherent in themselves. The four lines before read together well and "breads" is a natural end of thought. *Wink*

What a great memory gem, not only for you but me too! *Thumbsup* The title would make a great one for a book item with more treasures. *Starstruck* Thanks for sharing your vision and gift.

Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

eyestar
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
1068
1068
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi brom21, thanks for entering "DreamTime Dragon's Poem Contest" ! Here are my brief comments on your pocket dragon poem! *Fire*

*Dragon*Aw! I could see the little dragon walking across the table to eat and like how you describe him with words bigger than he is. eg. Voracious eater! I laughed at "quite rude"! *Smile*

Your descriptions are vivid with interesting comparisons like the "matchstick" and the "stone"! Brilliant! I so enjoyed the notions! *Thumbsup* You kept true to the type of dragon to the end where he wants friends "who scheme". *Laugh*

I could really feel for the dragon being lonely. Creating the duality of the dragon's being is effective. In the beginning you set his strength and home and fiesty nature and then under that his longing for a friend. I assume as he is on your palm he is far from any of his kind, big or small.

It was pleasant to read aloud with fine rhyme scheme.

*Dragon* Two places I ponder on: I thought the adverb "emotionally" was a bit weak as a descriptor. Adverbs do not really add potency I have read.
*Dragon* The line where you say "endlessly your years...." I am not sure who will cherish the years? The line before you spoke of "man". Do you mean "your eternal years you'll cherish"?
Also I think you mean "perish" for "parish". *Wink*
I am not sure you need the comma after "only".

Overall I really enjoyed the entertaining glimpse into his mind and your vivid word choices that create a potent vision! Thanks for sharing your gift. *Star*

Keep the quill draggin' *Dragon*! *Star*
eyestar

A dragon reading a book by candle light
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1069
1069
Review of Halloween Party  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Balloonp* HIya MissTique! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


*Pumpkin* This holiday fun popped up on the Read and Review page! I had fun reading it as it had a lively party feel to it's tone and I enjoyed the enthusiasm for the party.

The three verses are balanced with a consistent rhyme scheme. The lines flow in a jaunty fashion and I was not thrown out of the read by any glitch. If the prompt included the bolded words, you did a fine job of incorporating them in a coherent manner. I liked the pacing as it added to the drama and fun.

You might add quotation marks to the spoken parts. Otherwise the punctuation was purposeful and added to the overall read with effect. *Smile*

Thanks for sharing your vision and craft. You really got the excited expectation of the party very vivid. *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


Congrats on well deserved nomination for Quills. *Salute*

I had fun reading another lively and interesting JA newsletter. It is so cool how influential her work still is! I recently saw a movie--can't recall the name right now that had the theme of her Darcy novel. It was about a book publisher. I did see the Hallmark one you spoke of--it had puppies in it. I sent you the link.

I never thought about how they might have celebrated Valentine's day though I am sure letters and poems were popular. Nice they had no texting! *Smile*

It is so interesting to hear about your creative scrapbook ideas and am amazed at folks who can be artsy like that. I never really got into it though I have friends who do scrapbooking. Your description is vivid with detail.

Oh yeah, let's go off track together with Johnny Depp! *Bigsmile*

The newsletter is well organized and flows in a coherent manner easy to follow. Lovely in pink to celebrate heart month. *Heart* I liked how you added names of movies, etc that have Austen's themes and they prove the point you make about how popular she still is--that they modernize the themes. *Thumbsup*

Thanks for sharing your expert knowledge and pondering again this month. *Heart* *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


Wow! This is fascinating! Even the title has a poetic feel and acts as part of the poem I feel.

The expression, without details, spills the intent and after effects of conflicts in a creative way.
I love the mono rhymes and the short lines are evocative and allow the reader to imagine the details--it could apply to many conflicts and trials between folks. Very clever!*Thumbsup*

The title was pleasant to read aloud. The sound combinations were well chosen. I had to smile as the idea of history being brief! And yet here it is! *Smile*

The punctuation may need a tweak to be consistent. Should there be a connective punctuation after "Gains" like a colon or semi-colon? or a end punctuation after "shame".?

I really enjoyed this brief summation. IT reveals the pain without gory detail and made me feel like it was all for naught in the end. *Starstruck* Thanks for sharing your vision.

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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Review of friends  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC Arkman! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


*Smile* This seems like a positive view point about friends. I like the idea of detachment and that every friend, true or not, comes with a lesson all for our benefit in the long run. I got the idea that not worrying is vital to happiness in any case. *Wink* So true.

I enjoyed reading the free flow of ideas and it flowed in a unique way. Images like lane switching, snitching are interesting and vivid. You present the ebb and flow and quality of friends dramatically.

I wondered is the word "so" would make sense instead of the second "but" in the last line, though you could have a purpose...*Wink* Just thinking...as it seemed odd to me.

Thanks for sharing your vision and crafting. It was fun. *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!

eyestar
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Review of Why Poetry  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


 I enjoy poetry so I was keen to see another poet's view about why we do it! *Smile*
I was enchanted by the idea of the dance and magic of it all. Right on!

The poem flows quite smoothly with a consistent rhyme that gives is a sing song tone. The first verse flows more naturally than the second, which has more stops in the word combinations.
The rhythm is more a free flow as opposed to syllable patterned.
I like the idea in the last line that places poetry on a higher plane. *Wink*

In word choice, I would be careful using non specific adjectives to describe. eg. "lovely" and "gently". I wanted to add but" with "also" to smooth it out.

I appreciate the sentiment about poetry. Thanks for sharing your vision about why you like poems.*Starstruck* Keep on musing!

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)

*BalloonR**ConfettiP*HI Turtle! I am here with a review to celebrate you! *Star*
This little advertisement and informative item popped up on the random read page! How delightful for me!

*Fairy*The title says it all and gives us a strong clue about the basics involved in the poetry class you teach. Your intro is inviting and the metaphors you use to describe the poetry creative process is engaging. "Preparing the Ground" is a good subtitle.

*Fairy* The page is neatly organized and has aesthetic appeal in its colour, fonts and spacing.
Easy to read and to the point with a friendly tone.
Quotes are a lovely touch and add interest.

The reminder that reading poetry is essential is a good one!! *Wink* I was so happy to see the link--I can use it right now! The link to forms is also helpful. Kind of you to share your favourites as a place to start. It saves us running all over for reputable sites. *Thumbsup*

*Star* Thanks for sharing your wisdom in teaching this class (when it is offered at Horizon)!

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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Review of Joy and Laughter  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


*BalloonR**ConfettiP*Hiya T.L.Finch! I am here with a review to celebrate you! *Star*

*Smile* What a positive theme for a poem to inspire us all to find the joy! Your point of view is valid as we know that laughter is known to raise our vibes and even help healing. We can use these shifts often as you say to "brighten" and "Lighten"! *Thumbsup*

*Bigsmile* The poem was a delight to read with its wonderful rhyme and clear images. I like words like "guffaw" and "cackle" and the ideas of "cold heart" and "thickest ice".

*Laugh* The structure of the verses appeared balanced with consistent rhyme except for one: in verse 2 "forms" and "heart" do not rhyme. In other verses you had abab. I wonder about maybe changing to "it helps the coldest heart to warm"..."warm is closer to rhyming with "forms". *Wink*
In the first verse I wanted to drop one of the "and"s: maybe "to lighten your day".
The last verse had. the weakest appeal to me and the last line with "try" had a weaker flow.
the sentiments are solid! *Smile*

*Laugh* The tone and message is upbeat and wise and invites me to develop the habit to have the benefits received from a smile or laugh. It is contageous too. You could probably add that. *Wink*

*Star*Thanks for sharing your vision and crafting! I enjoy happy thoughts!

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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