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Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Balloony* Hiya Fyn! *Delight* I am happy to review to celebrate you as part of your Spell Book Auction Pack! Thanks for your generosity. *Bookopen*

*Bookopen* I was drawn to your title as it made me smile to think about a poem about reading a poem and it made total sense as how you read a poem can effect the experience. I was curious to see how you would describe this. *Smile*

Intense! I could hear the potency in the tone and your images were vivid and unique for the theme. The metaphor was unexpected and brilliant to relay the "depth" and emotion of poems and poets. Perfect choice. *Thumbsup*

"Flay it open" is wonderful and I had not heard that word before. The imperative voice directed the reader right to the point. Your verb choices were so active and descriptions added vitality.
Lines like "Twist muscled meanings and sinewed stanzas." and
"to dance across synapses;" are evocative and add to the effective soundscape as I read aloud.
It was a pleasure to read and experience on all sense levels.

I wondered at the use of the word "voice" twice in close proximity in "give it voice". I get what you mean about giving it strength as you say it aloud yet I wondered about variety--could the first one have a synonym. mm. Yet to emphasize "voice" aspect is also relevant. *Wink*

I thought the word "but" was strong and kind of felt like a stop---- wanted to try it out with just the directive "free them" though the but does give a bit of idea of "no matter what...do it!" *Laugh*

The expression illuminates the need to delve into a poem, into the underlying secrets that it may hold. The advice to give it full presence and attention with lots of energy to discover or experience something within oneself is truly well given. I love it! *Starstruck*

Thanks for sharing your gift and vision! I enjoyed entering into the dream with you.*Star*

Keep the ink flowing as you follow your muse and write on!*Star*
eyestar


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Fire* Hi Escape Artist! This review is part of your Nuclear Packagefrom "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.! Enjoy!

*Wave2* I was drawn to the alliterative title that evokes the picture of a boat at sea in the elements. Lovely choice for this non-fiction tale.

*Wave3* Amazing experiences you must have had on the fishing boat if this is anything to go by. You captured by attention with the first line "quote" that was prophetic of a dangerous adventure! You give the highlight in a nut shell to introduce but I am glad you did the whole story as it gave a vivid backdrop to the experience of life at sea.

*Wave4* The narrative was interesting and described clearly the setting and the way things worked on this fishing boat. I really learned alot from your detailed account of the day at sea. It is cool how you used nicknames and I could sense how close you all to be and how aware you had to be. The first person POV was potent and well developed.

*Wave2* The story flowed in a coherent manner and I enjoyed the style and how you introduce us to various bits of information like work in the galley, the look of the sea and the history of the boat. I felt that these men did indeed love their life. I had to smile to think of the sailor in bare feet. The vocabulary was thematic and good use was made of active verbs and descriptors.

*Wave1* The build up to the sudden accident was good and your details of the event were vivid. You really showed how difficult the job was and I can't imagine going back and forth into the fire and smoke.
No time to be scared I guess. The panic of boss was potent---I could see the older, weightier captain shouting orders. I might panic too as the one in charge. A "freezer" for a captain is intriguing word.

*Wave4* The last paragraph was moving and had a philosophical tone. I really like how you honour your friend's wisdom and the idea that none are perfect. Learning comes from experience. Did you mean "fearless souls" or were you referring to the "soles" as feet, wanderers? *Wink*

*Starstruck*I was drawn into the vision of this dramatic event and couldn't stop reading to the end. It felt like the sea with its ebb and flow of calm to chaotic! Such a realistic picture as you recall it.
Thanks for sharing your keen knowledge and memories of this event. It is a treasure. *Star*
I enjoyed the way you wove the tale very much.

eyestar
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Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Pumpkin* Hail WDC support in its many guises!

RAOK is tops in the charity business and I see I have not reviewed it, so here I am! *Delight*
Using this kindness idea within the WDC to support active participants is so generous and of great assistance to many. I liked your line of intent" will do so for many more years".

The group page outline is simple and straightforward with the definition, intent and invitation to help out. The links to the various forums, including where to request and thank are handy on display and the bright red draws my eye to the invitation of each. The support pin is so brilliant a fundraiser. Who does not like the appealing banner design that the pin carries? *Cool*

I like that there is a list of RAOK fundraising events handy for the group members so we can pop over to these for fun and be of service at the same time. *Star*

Well organized with a heartfelt message and intent! Gratitude to you for the many you help and will help in the future! Kudos too! *Heart*

eyestar
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Review of The gift  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
*Fire* Congrats Lynda! You're receiving a gift from "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. ! The Fossil Fuel Package has been ordered for you from: 🐕GeminiGem🎁 Author Icon. Enjoy your review!

*Heart* Oh my! This is a very sad and evocative poem and your title does not give it away!
You lead the reader well on this soldier's moment by moment experience and I got caught up in his reflections. Well conceived unfolding. *Thumbsup*

*Heart*The imagery was vivid and the clues to the gift and surprise come one by one in a coherent way. I could feel the query, and puzzlement, sadness in the tones and bittersweetness of the end.
It is heartbreaking and yet the gift can bring joy. Wow!

*Heart* Wrapped up in the message is the underlying note of the trauma of war on both partners.
To have tragedy at home too is a double blow.

*Fairy* One little glitch--In verse 6, I think you need a period after "door." *Wink*
I also wondered about the line about her being alone without family in verse 3. Did he not know she had a brother? It seems so as they meet later in the poem. I just wondered why he wouldn't know.

*Star*This is truly moving and the voice is potent. The free style with short lines is effective and I enjoyed reading the flow. It felt dramatic. You really hit the heartstrings. *Thumbsup*

Thanks for sharing such a moving vision! *Star*

eyestar
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Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
*Fire* Hi Amyjo! This review is part of your Nuclear Package from "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.!. Enjoy.

*Thinker* Wow! This folder contains a marvelous creation and its bits and pieces! Everything Inquiring Minds might like! The idea for a group and activities about words, definitions, thoughts and info is so fascinating and sounds like fun! *Laugh*

*Thinker*I really enjoyed reading the Newsletter in this folder as it is jampacked with trivia and unique word and trivia bits. You have given a lot of thought and research in its creation. Well done.

*Thinker*It is a good idea to have a collection for the newsletters as they get finished. It will leave room in the folder for the main items to be seen quickly.

*Thinker* I wondered about adding a bit of information in the opening intro section of the folder--where you have "for all things Inquiring Minds", just to give a taste of what the concept is about. Make it an inviting and magnetic door way. *Smile*

*Thinker* I like the Group Page with the attractive banner and the info that members need to know, eg. like the intent of the group and date of upcoming contest in December etc. Lots of good vibes in the presentation.

*Starstruck* I love the enthusiastic vibe in the overall tone and colour of the pages. Thanks for creating this original piece of entertainment that makes learning fun. You rock!

Light on the path as you inquire and write on! *Starp*

eyestar
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Review of Always here  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
*Balloony* Welcome to WDC ToServe! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you!

This is a lovely heartfelt message to your boys! It has a reassuring tone that is appealing to the audience--especially the children. *Heart*

It is pleasant to read with a wonderful rhyme and easy short lines that are simple for young audience as well. It flowed easily even without an even pattern rhythm.

I noted one glitch in the word "they're" which should be "their" to show possession.*Wink*
Also, I see no need for a comma after "right" and "boys" in both verse 2 and 3 as the lines do flow naturally to the next ones. Period after "alone" too I think and at the end.

Your intent and love of your boys comes across potently here and will be an inspiration.*Star*
Thanks for sharing your gift and vision.

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
Woman in white SP About Reviewing signature.

*BurstP* I'm earning my sparkles at "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. to spread sparkles for Phoebe around WDC! *BurstP*
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Review of Autumn Girl  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Balloony* Welcome to WDC Candied Apples! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you!

What a beautiful tribute to your friend and autumn. I loved the whimsical flow and imagery so bright and vivid. Using the metaphor of autumn in all its colours and fading to winter is magical.*Starstruck*

I was so charmed by your weaving that reads like a song with its repeated bits! The first verse is amazing in its personification and word images. You have created a lively stunning picture.
The comparisons to gems are interesting too--- "rose quarts" should be "rose quartz" though. *Wink*

The free style suits the content and I enjoyed reading the dramatic expression. It has some lovely soundscape in the words and phrasing you chose and the way you speak to autumn girl to encourage and then plead for her to wait is potent.

I had a marvelous time dancing through your melody! Thanks for sharing your gift!*Star*

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
Woman in white SP About Reviewing signature.

*BurstP* I'm earning my sparkles at "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. to spread sparkles for Phoebe around WDC! *BurstP*
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Review of The Blank Page  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloony*Welcome to WDC Free Gift! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you!*Smile*

Wow! This is so creative an idea, talking to a blank page! You give a myriad of possibilities from which to choose and your second last line gives the idea of the range as summation. Your last line has a truth to it as well. I thought it could be also a fire starter all crumpled up, a snowflake all cut up, a paint blotter! LOL You have sparked my imagination now, oh blank page poet! *Thumbsup*

The tone of the short piece is reflective and the personification of a page is a neat idea.
The images are vivid and lovely to read. I liked "beautiful song or a suicide note" though I wonder if you could find a more interesting, less used word than Beautiful. *Wink* I thought of the alliterative "soothing song" as it seems a nice contrast to "suicide" and keeps an alliterative flow. Just me with my two cents. I like to be inspired! Thanks.

The piece is coherent and paragraphing works. I only thought the second paragraph was a bit off and you were talking to the paper and then this verse seems to exemplify what you mention in verse one. You didn't give examples of words for the other choices so..mm.
Maybe if it was added to the first paragraph with a connective word :eg. "...goodbye, like don't...here." Just something to consider as it splits your theme as it is. *Wink*

Still, I enjoyed the experience of reading and pondering on the unique theme. It was fun to read and I can see you sitting there conversing--maybe even as a way to stay of writer's block. LOL
Thanks for sharing your vision and your first piece at WDC for us to enjoy. You rock!*Starstruck*

Take what you like and leave the rest. After all, POV is another potential on a blank page.*Wink*

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
Woman in white SP About Reviewing signature.
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Review of Grace vs faith.  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
*Leafr**Balloony* Welcome to WDC joy! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you!


Thanks for sharing your vision and interpretation of your spirituality. The article has a clear narrative voice and point of view. *Thumbsup* Interesting idea about being "opposing forces" in the first line. Something to ponder for sure. I feel you could really expand on this topic especially about your POV in the last line. Adding examples might really make it vivid to make a point.

I noticed a few glitches in the writing.
In "blessings distributed sovereignty as he wills" the word "sovereignty" is a noun and confused me here. *Confused*
In the next line "emphasizes" needs to be "emphasize". Likely a typo! *Wink*
I wonder if the name god should be capitalized.

Thanks for posting your first pieces here at WDC and getting your flair and interests out there!*Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
Beautiful Woman Simply Positive Signature.
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Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
*Leafr**Balloony* Welcome to WDC joy! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you!

Good for you for jumping into a contest! *Thumbsup* You don't say which contest it is though there is one called "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest" Open in new Window. but its theme is paranormal this month. This is a really unique response as it is about a real life program rather than fiction. I would add another category like education or article to the contest one you already have. *Wink*

It is a short interesting article about a specific teaching approach and sounds useful to apply. Your description is well composed and clear in purpose. I used to teach school so it is cool to see what's new in the attempt to assist young folks.

The last line could be moved up to join with the rest of the sentence. There is a large space there. *Smile*

Thanks for sharing this information. I wondered where they use this program as you do not say and you have not put a bio up yet. *Wink* *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
Woman in white SP About Reviewing signature.
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Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Star* Hi Lynda! Yep this has such a clearer vibration and tone and the detail is brilliant! I thought it worth rating up! *Star* *Heart*
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Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
*Fire* HI Lynda! This review is the last part of yourNuclear Packagefrom "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.! Hope you enjoyed the fun!

*Star* Oh, I could not resist a peek at a few more of your music memories and this one is one of my favourites no matter who sings it. A tribute to a true master.

*Star*A few glitches I noticed:
In line 2, the word "where" needs to be "were". *Wink*
In line 3, add a d to "manage">> "managed".
In line 4 typo__ "i" for "in his life".
I think line 4 sounds a bit run on with all the "ands" and certainly went fast over the trauma. Slowing in down in two parts would give reader time to digest, in case they did not know the story.

*Star* You capture the essence of VanGogh's life here. I wonder if a bit more about the song itself would add to the understanding of it.

*Star* I was wondering what the prompt or theme was for this book--was it a contest or where did the wonderful idea come from? It is such an interesting concept to reflect on songs to inspire others to listen to them.

*Star* I like how again you add your connection to the song and theme as it sheds light on who you are as well. It is cool to know you are a painter too. I think you might find a more effective adjective to describe his art than the plain overused word "wonderful". mm? They are certainly potent, vibrant, energetic, stellar? *Wink* (as we are talking Starry, Starry..LOL
I love how this expression gets me thinking! Thanks for drawing me into your vision. *Starstruck*

Write, paint and dream on as the *Starp* you are. *Fairy*

eyestar
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Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
*Fire* HI Lynda! This review is part of yourNuclear Packagefrom "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. gifted from Ronis brain tumor is gone! Author Icon!

*Fire* Wow! This is a fab idea to raise funds for the group as well as the charitable RAOK! The packages as truly worthwhile bidding on and in fact I am going to go bid on that green fairy!!*Fairy2*

*Fire*The page is simple and clearly presented with an interesting and aesthetic banner. I like the pencils! The dates are prominantly displayed, which is so vital and helpful! Posting it twice is a good idea too, as it saves everyone looking for it to have it up front and center and then to remind us later. *Smile* One month span is a good choice too.
The main ideas are emphasized in colour and it is accessible to everyone.

*Fire* Having an extra prize as incentive is brilliant and generous too.*Thumbsup* Donators are displayed with flair and the packages are posted clearly. *Smile* You might have used a bit of colour to each title/number of package for effect, yet they are visible and spacing is adequate to see each one.

*Fire* Thanks for your community spirit in creating this for worthy causes!*Heart*

eyestar
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Review of Hand in Hand  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloong*Welcome to WDC KawaiiBoo! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you!

I found this love poem on the Read A Newbie page and I liked the title as it brought the image to mind of couples walking hand in hand and it could apply to any age in relationship. Good choice.

This is very sweet and the notion of the "star" is a perfect for romantic theme.
The scene is vivid and the gentle tone is vibrant. I loved the invitation of the poet to the beloved to just "be with" under a starry sky with no stress or expectation. The image of locking eyes is vivid too. *Cool*

To make it more poetic in form I think you could shorten some lines:
For example: start a new line with "I saw your beautiful eye...mine"
then "It twinkled {you said They but it was one eye}
Then begin the last sentence with " I realized...far". Or even "I knew we would go far.". It would look more like a poem verse that way. Just an idea! *Wink*

Thanks for the lovely romantic vision! *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
Woman in white SP About Reviewing signature.
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Review of Echoed cold  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
*Delight*Welcome to WDC kylezx! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you!


*Wave1* I loved the sound evoked in your title with its hard sound and awkward flow. I think it reflects an emotional moment.

*Wave2* Your weaving has a strong atmosphere with a sad and philosophical tone. It was pleasant to read aloud with its effective sound elements and free style, which suited the theme and emotional content. I could imagine the regret and emptiness after the loss from your evocative imagery and message. It is a relevant topic and accessible to any who have had loss--the idea of regret and sadness about what is lost. "Cancer took more.." is potent.

*Wave3* The free style had little rhyme but had a wonderful inner soundscape that helped tie it together. The imagery of water, shell and sword really work. I liked the beginning with the personal image and feeling and ending with the reflective message as if one comes to terms.

I think you need to drop the comma after "took more" as it seems to go with the next phrase.

Thanks for sharing this heartfelt expression. *Star*

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
Woman in white SP About Reviewing signature.
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Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi Megan! Just popped in with an quick review as part of your auction win!

*Tiara* This is a very relevant addition to your Jane Austin Series and Group!*Salute* It gives others with the same interest a chance to share, chat and write and open to anyone who may happen by to discover a bit of the world of Jane Austin from others.
This way they may better know it they would like to join the group. Great idea!

*Tiara*Your short welcome is inviting and give direction and intent for the forum. The pictures displayed are so incredible portrayals of Jane too. *Salute* Beautiful page. Cool Jane Austin Badge too.

*Tiara* I think I will put this on favs so I can pop in and catch the buzz! *Wink*

Thanks for your joyful contributions!

eyestar
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Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
*Balloony* Hi Princess Megan! *Delight* I am back with a review as a part of your Fancy Dress Auction win!*Tiara*

*Tiara* This was another interesting read about the life and times of Jane Austen and I appreciate your sharing your honest views on the subject. You really give food for thought.
I can't believe it about Zombies?? They were vampires? *Shock* I had no idea and I have to agree--- creative as it might be, keep them separate.! *Facepalm* I guess it is a high five for her that her popularity sparks all sorts of inspiring and even odd ideas. *Smile*

*Smile* I had to smile at your first paragraph about Harriet and finding her own man. I can see where a character can trigger responses. *Wink* In your last paragraph about what you learned it was interesting how you had detail and yet left room for curiosity so we would go find out for ourselves. eg. like how holidays were celebrated. *Thumbsup*

*Tiara* Your writing style is honest and accessible to everyone and your enthusiasm and knowledge about this subject is apparent and makes the read appealing. *Star*

*Crayons* The page is attractive and I like how the links are inter-spaced and not all lumped together. The art is incredible and makes me curious how they are done! *Salute*

*Tiara* Thanks for sharing your joy in this manner. Well done! *Starstruck*

Keep the ink flowing as you follow your muse and write on!*Star*
eyestar
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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon
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Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
*Balloony*Hiya Princess Megan! *Delight* I am back to review to celebrate you as part of your auction win!

*Teddy* I am enjoying your Teddy Bear magic and found another gem. I did not know teddy was 100 years. How interesting! Now you have sparked my interest to know more.

*Teddy*This poem is fun to read with its bit of history and how folks love teddy bears, even Roosevelt! *Shock* It seems like a free verse with an effective rhyme scheme that adds to the fun vibe. I felt the loving energy and the vibe in the line with "hurry"!

The rhythm in the lines is not even but I was not distracted out of the piece. Even the shorter line with "star" added an emphatic effect. *Smile* I agree too.

I like how you personify the bears as indeed we tend to do as children--the secret holder, not in a hurry. That is cool as I think of how many parents and the world rushes kids to get moving and yet teddy waits patiently for the child to move. Brilliant.

The invitation at the end brought me back to the present and asks us to participate in the tribute. *Thumbsup*

Thanks for sharing this lovely tribute to the teddy bear---I really do want to know more now about its history. *Thinker* The pictures are appealing and add flavour to the page.

Keep the ink flowing as you follow your muse and write on!*Star*
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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
*Fire* Hail Fran! This review is the last part of yourNuclear Packagefrom "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.. E:fire} And on behalf of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window. thanks for hosting a party event in September! *Star*

The vibrancy of the title appealed to me and the concept of being bolder than the Sun struck me as powerful, as I feel we all really are *Star*s and if we would drop judgment and fear of it, we truly would shine so bright, creating a greater world.

As I read your weaving I felt the beauty of the loop form and how dramatic the repetitions are. I so enjoyed the experience as relates to your theme. You have constructed a fine sample of the Loop and the enjambments and repeated words are effective and potent in flow and drama.

You did a superb job with contrasting vibrations from the confident tone and vision in the first verse with the hesitancy and fear in the second. Wow! Quite evocative as I can imagine a child and then an adult or teen, so put down for its potency that hiding is safer than being true to self. The last line spoke to me of how we think we may be alone if we do not fit with the "collective" crowd. I like the idea that a bright open being may indeed pick up the vibe of the crowd's thought that they are fearing to be alone so they just meld. The one cowering away from the crowd may be the more sensitively aware person---rather sad that this collective overwhelmed her.

I think "carefree" is one word.*Confused* I do see however that you would not want to use "carefree" as the beginning of your next line. *Wink* and maybe it can be used in this way. It does not throw me out of the context or read.

Wow! I liked the way this allowed me to ponder and enter your vision, or adding my own to it.! Well done! Thanks for sharing your brilliance! *Starstruck*

eyestar
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Review of What The...?  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Fire* Congrats! You're receiving a gift from "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. ! The Fossil Fuel Package has been ordered for you from: writingbyjazzy! Enjoy! *Fire*

*Fairy* I liked the evocative title that spoke to me of a mystery or unexpected surprise that may not have been too desireable. And the story sure began that way.*Thumbsup*

I had to burst out laughing at the end as it really added a aspect in keeping with the grandfather's character. Having the siblings share the response was effective too--drew out the revelation!*Cool*

The story was well conceived and I appreciated how you wove information about the character background in pieces. The dialogue was natural and purposeful in revealing character, emotions and the closeness of the siblings. The description was vivid and your use of active verbs like "snorted", "glared", "plunked" add to the drama.

The items left by Grandpa are well chosen for their seeming odd nature that would cause the siblings to wonder and you keep us guessing by mentioning dementia and how old the grandpa was. I would sure be shocked by kool aid!! Some odd trip down memory lane. I liked the banter between the siblings as they try to lighten the situation.

I wondered if the bottle was brown and there was paper in it as well, how the blue pills could be seen. they would also make a sound if regular.

A few glitches I noticed .*Wink*
In the first line "tiredlY' is weak to me.
"that they’d grown up in" is better said "in which they grew up with their..."
Do you need "recently departed" as we get that a few times in the story.
I don"t think you need "it seemed".
This line makes it seem like the old table is bewildered rather than the siblings. "the old table, bewildered and unhappy.'
This line threw me out of the story "somewhere in her mind, Tammy realized that he hadn’t been sleeping". It is obvious that he is not asleep.

I wondered why they wouldn't open the items sooner but I guess they really were still just in shock.*Smile*

I enjoyed the creativity of the story and it kept me reading as I wanted to know the outcome. You did well with the items and the "tax" complaint as it solves the mystery in an amusing way.*Starstruck*
Awesome
Cramp entry.
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Review of Buddha  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
*Fire* HI Lisa! *Heart*
This review is part of yourNuclear Packagefrom "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. . *Delight*

*Fairy* Wow! I like those Buddha statues and have read lots about his loving wisdom.
I could really visualize him sitting there. I like how you capture the basic essence of his teaching in the examples you use--praying for the lame, teacher, and especially never "flees", a tribute to his Being with what is, in peace.

I feel that this statue has a welcoming pose and aura.

The poem is simple as the Buddhic teachings and easy to read with a lovely rhyme scheme. The only line that is rather odd is the 4th line in verse 1. You speak of a statue and then the man, as well as ending in a preposition. It is hard to rhyme with "comes" so maybe tweaking those words would help. Or "where the man of peace is from." mm. *Rolleyes*

The tribute atmosphere is clear and I like the tone of enthusiasm!*Fire*

*Starstruck* Thanks for sharing your vision! I enjoyed my visit in your port. Your poetry is really rocking! Keep writing.


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Review of Billy  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
*Fire* Hiya Lisa!
This review is part of yourNuclear Packagefrom "Invalid Item" Open in new Window..*Fire*

I enjoyed visiting your children's folder and found this true story about a goat. I always wanted a goat when I was a kid and my friend has some beauties! The theme of this sounds a bit comical. *Laugh* I take it is a mountain goat as you mention a mountain road. I wonder what he thinks or sees in his vigil.

I bet it is a beautiful sight to see. I enjoyed the tone of appreciation in the words and picture you create. You even name him like he is just part of the journey of the day. You say everyone knows the story---does that mean there is a background story--or just that they have heard that is there? Is there more to the story? It would be cool to make up a fiction story about it. *Thinker*

I think you need a period after "parents" in the second last line, and after "white" in line 5.
I had to smile at use of "He don't fall" as we are used to seeing "doesn't fall". These lines have a poetic feel compared to the next lines. *Smile*

I'd really like to see him. Be fun to have a pic! *Wink* Kids would like to read this short easy to read account. I would like to see more description of him . We know he is tall and black and white.
I assume male as you call him Billy.

This is a lovely tribute to this unique guardian. It really spurs curiosity too. *Star* Thanks for sharing your vision.

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Review of Attitude  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloony*Welcome to WDC Progonos Author Icon! *Delight* I am happy to review to celebrate you and share my perspective as a reader. *Bookopen*

Wow! I enjoyed this free flow expression. It is truly inspirational in it philosophy and addresses the reader directly with a positive vibe.

You make some very wise comments and I especially like the one about transcending this reality's conditioning and not waiting for someone to save you or give you THE WAY! The comparison about being chains and the key is potent as well.*Cool*

This is a handy note to keep around to inspire oneself as well as others when we get pulled into the mire of mimicry that the world calls us to. We can all use reminders to go within and listen to our own KNOWING. The cool thing is that when we do, we find other like minded free spirits who like to do their thing without the holds of judgment and comfort zone. er..like...creative folks!

Welcome to WDC and thanks for sharing this good news! *Starstruck* Quite motivational in tone too!

Keep the ink flowing as you follow your muse and write on!*Star*
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Review of As If  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC A Michelle!
This review is being given as part of the "Black Magic Birthday Review Bash" Open in new Window., presented by "The Dark Society" Open in new Window.


*Balloonp* Wow! This is a potent expression that really echoes the sentiment of one moving on, yet whose emotional connection is still not free. It kept my attention to the end as I fell into the mind of the poet, in reaction to an old flame.

The verses are in a free style yet balanced and and the use of drawn out pauses at the end of some lines is so effective for emphasis and emotional intensity as I read. Well done.*Star*
The repeated two and three line stanzas serve as echoes and show the disbelief and question in the mind, indicating that one is aware of the pull but does not want to go there.

The line about any cliche is brilliant to make the point and I feel an undercurrent of anger that could arise if need be. You really portray the emotional psychology vividly. I think it is relevant and many have had the experience.

Evocative expression that leaves an impression. Thanks for sharing your vision and craft!*Starstruck*


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Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloonp* Welcome Eldbaran to WDC! I like your handle. *Smile* This review is being given as part of the "Black Magic Birthday Review Bash" Open in new Window., presented by "The Dark Society" Open in new Window.


This fantasy poem popped up on the Random Read page. Lucky me! I enjoy fantasy and your title is appealing as it suggests a nature mythical theme. *Cool*

The poem was a delight to read for its vivid image of the king on his thrown as he stares off in dream. What a wonderful scene that could set up a story later as I ponder why is he in dreamland and when will he awake. I imagine him under a spell or some magic. *Cool*

The form is interesting and flows well with a consistent rhyme scheme. The rhyme of "roots" and "wood" is off, yet the words suit the context. I like how you repeat the first two lines later. The rhythm is not quite even in each line but it did not detract from the joy and meaning.

I really liked the sound and image of "glade green eyes" and "roam the glade" and the throne. I can imagine it! *Smile*

I notice you used the word "now" in two lines close together. I wonder if variety and flow would be better served with something like
"seem dead"
as his mind wanders.."

I know punctuation is a personal choice in poetry yet I wonder if a bit would serve the reading here. You do have a comma, so might as well be consistent, so it is easier to get the gist!
Use a natural punctuation. eg. A period after "sleep." for example would clarify that line ends the thought before and does not begin the next line thought. maybe!

I had little trouble entering into your vision as presented and it reminds me of tales of old. The second last line is evocative and very appealing too! I expect to see the fairies soon. *Fairy*

Thanks for sharing your vision and craft! I enjoyed my visit! Write on! *Quill* *Balloonr*


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