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1201
1201
Review of To Robin Williams  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


*BalloonR**ConfettiP*HI WebWitch! *Witch* I am here with a review to celebrate you! *Star*

*Web2* I couldn't resist this title dedicated to a true genius who followed his uniqueness. This is such a warm tribute to Robin and I like how you pulled in the natural element like the super moon as a symbol. How brilliant! *Moon* That the moon represents the reflection, the emotional, the unconscious and pulls of the tides of water, including that in all of us, makes it a moving and evocative choice. I like the idea of timing and it would take something powerful.

The poem was a pleasure to read with its easy rhyme and flow. Bringing in the notion of our own eventual journey to where he is, was a lovely touch as it made me think of the oneness and timeliness of all things.

Thanks for sharing your unique tribute to Robin, with its mystical and philosophical vibe. *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

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1202
1202
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


*BalloonR**ConfettiP*HI JOY I am here with a review to celebrate you! *Star*

*Sun*What a marvelous collection of stories! I was drawn tot he poetic title and then realized it was blog filled with potent, moving and heartfelt stories. No place to review them all so i will comment on my favs and give some pretty stars to your amazing crafting. I was very touched by many that I read. *Thumbsup*

You have a knack for making the story and character seem quite real to life. I was moved to tears in "Scotty"! It was so real. The monologue of the woman grieving her husband and the connection with the dog as healer was remarkable, realistic and so touching. I cried and could really feel this emotions through out the writing. It pays tribute to the gift and sensitivity of animals to pick up vibes and if we allow --to let them help us. I was glad she saw him as gift and now a co author. Wonderful way to end.

In "Gotcha" The father and daughter reconnecting at the end was lifelike and the last line where she said she was like him was potent to sum it up. You did a wonderful job with his tough guy mode and the changing point of view he came to, to come to terms with what happened. Inventive notion.*Heart*

In "Dragon" I liked the fantasy element and the first line when he speaks about not dropping what you love--a hoe, as if he knew she loved gardening. You drew me in and held my attention with the interesting conversation and the very vivid description of the dragon. Good reference to "Charlie and Cf"! I loved when she hid the dragon sparkle behind her back. LOL The ending was excellent and a surprise twist for we who get it. He could be the dragon. LOL *Thumbsup*

You have whole worlds of entertainment here from sci-fi to angels, to dreams with vivid characters and inventive plots and even psychological and thought provoking idea. Really good reads. Thanks for sharing your vision in this sweet cup of tea! *Starstruck* I so enjoyed my visit.

*Sun*Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

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1203
1203
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


*BalloonR**ConfettiP*Hail Joy! I am here with a review to celebrate you! *Star*

*Sun*Wow! I could so see this dog "rust..tresses" a golden or setter comes to mind, with its enthusiastic vibe not wanting to miss anything, like the fun to risk the storm. It is funny when he tries to out run it. The personification is well done and the images in the dog's imagination are clear. I smiled at her thinking he's miss the "e-flat major". LOL A dog would, of course, know her own pitch. the concept of "plotted torture" is brilliant and I have seen dogs cower in storms and it must seem that way to their sensitivity.

The free style suits the dramatic content and allows for musings that may defy form. The description of the walkway, ice and "maze" of branches is vivid and interesting that they become obstacles on her way back, un noticed on the way to the mail. As if fear makes it harder to get back. She was on a trail earlier and now the driveway.

One thing that threw me out at verse 4 a bit was I thought it was summer as I think of thunder storms then. When he hit the ice and snow I was thrown out and had to backtrack as I didn't expect it. Kinda like the dog. I guess I missed the idea of the "trail" in the previous verse, though it could have been through the woods. *Confused*

You have portrayed the essence of the dog's fear of thunder in a vivid way. I like her eagerness. *Smile*

*Sun*Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

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1204
1204
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


*BalloonR**ConfettiP*HI Joy! I am here with a review to celebrate you! *Star*

*Sun*Hey, I found your interactive, I suppose as my mind is on out GOT interactive. LOL The theme is a good choice for a continuing story as many plots are possible. The title caught my eye with the word "Aloft" which I assume is a town. It is just unique.

The intro page gives the background facts and main premise, leaving it pretty open ended for folks o follow their own leads. It was a little plain looking--a little spruce up with colour would be nice.

This chapter sets up the main character and gives her a motivation for wanting to be involved in finding the robbers. In quick vivid way you show her background and what may be going on in the back of her mind as story progresses: the ring, insurance papers etc. You give a hint of her ex and a potential link for future chapter if she needs to confront him for the papers.

In short order and few lines, you present the setting, characters, problem and potential conflicts. Amazing. *Star*

It is fast paced and dialogue is purposeful in giving further clues to her past as ex-cop maybe. The other characters seem to know her well and the last warning gives us the idea that she won't take no.
I can really identify with Jessica as a strong character.

The next chapter leads you created are viable and could be interesting: the sweet talk, the suspicious something and I could see an old friend on the force asking her help.

I see all these leads were followed too. I hope this review maybe gives a little boost.*Smile*

*Sun*Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

*RainbowL*A Review from "Simply Positive Review Forum " !*RainbowR*
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1205
1205
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Sun*Hail Nixie! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you .*Delight*


*Sun*A spring poem! Yay! How elegant a weaving for spring who cannot be possessed!The prompt picture was amazing and your poem even more so!

Wow! I am jealous! This picture of spring is stunning. The visual quality and soundscape are vivid and appealing. The contrast of the King winter and Queen Spring well conceived as are the vast images of spring unfolding.

It is a joy to read aloud and to enter into the vision. The words are vital and and descriptive so I easily visualize and imagine. Personification is well accomplished too. eg:"grass yawns and sprawls", "rattles..crown", "jade ivy entices", such a varied display of creative notions.*Salute* The verbs are delicious too. Verse 5 is quite evocative too. *Star* Luscious.

The verses are balanced and the consistent rhyme delightful, assisting the flow and harmony of the poem.
The alliterative first line caught my attention and I was enchanted to read on, marveling as the glory of spring unfolded. I liked the way the words sounded as I read---verse 4 and 5 alliteration especially.

I am so impressed by this eloquent composition. If it wasn't in a book and I could give it it's own ribbon I would! *Starstruck* I don't know what else to say but all Hail to your Muse and word wizardry.!

*Sun* Highest regards and light on the path as you Write on! *Sun*
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1206
1206
for entry "The Biltmore Lilac" 
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Sun*Hail Nixie! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you .*Delight*


What a wonderful prompt for a spring theme. I love lilacs. We used to have a whole row of them as a fence line where I grew up. My parents planted them as we had fields all around. Purple and white fragrant lilacs every spring. Thanks for the trip down memory lane.

This is a charming expression written from the point of view of a lilac. Superb idea and the the personified voice is engaging as she speaks of this estate and the care of her species. I had to smile at her comment in the first verse about too many "thoughts in the cosmos"! I love that and really I think lilacs are in a class by themselves. Many folks enjoy them enough to put scissors or clippers in their pockets as they walk on the trail in case they walk by some and want to take some home. LOL

I love the idea of seeing thoughts as "blossoms". How enchanting. It is so wonderful how you have her compare her life to human life and how you give feelings to her about missing what they trim. You give her a potent voice and persona as she chooses to "extend blessings" and yet she is delicate. Nice contrast.

Delightful and elegant expression that mimics the lovely lilac.*Star*
I checked out the link. Beautiful scenery! I can imagine this episode there as you mention paths, website and visitors so the prompt is well met.

*Sun* Highest regards and light on the path as you Write on! *Sun*
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1207
1207
for entry "Delivering Spring" 
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Sun*Hail Nixie. I so love your creative imagination! It is inspiring.*Delight*


The concept of delivering spring is unique and your story has presented on scenario on how it could be delivered.

It is a charming story and I like the magical horse! The action began quickly and the names of the girl and horse were whimsically harmonious, poetic. It is wonderful how you wove the tale using dialogue as a main element. The characters were well defined by description and especially by the conversation and tones!
I could immediately enter their world and sense the freedom of flight!

The premise of the story is original and the hints of the horse's ancestry and the girl's heritage is fabulous. I had to laugh at their banter and his feeling insulted. Well done conversations as they gather spring. The connection between the dream world and the horse's sense is fantastic idea and that these two have a purpose and are used to it is evident.

The suspicion of the villagers is well shown and while we wonder why spring was never there, the distraction of the fairy a super notion, especially as children see it first.

Stellar ending with the old man and Windy's enthusiastic completion of the sentence.

I was enthralled to enter this world and love dialogue stories that have fast pace, vivid descriptions and lots of interaction with characters. I think your capacity to use your skills and apply them to fantasy is working well. This story feels like it could lead to further adventures. *Smile*

The prompt of delivering spring was well met!

Thanks for the entertaining romp through the magic. *Star* Fairy dust for your muse. *Starp*

*Sun* Highest regards and light on the path as you Write on! *Sun*
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1208
1208
Review of Returned to Me  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
*Sun*Hail nixie! Here I am engaging in your wonderful writings.*Smile*


The idea in the title is reflected in this short personal monologue and it gave the notion of a happy memory. In the piece I felt the close connection that your dad had with you compared to other siblings. The name represented something different and I think he knew deep down,perhaps without consciously knowing, that you were different as in special. I could feel the sadness when alzeimers took away his memory of that bond. I could imagine him in confusion and some defense position as patients sometimes get when there is something they do not recall. You showed your reaction vividly in the dialogue with him. I can understand that, psychologically as a child, the name represented some special connection you could hold on to that maybe you were really not alone. So the one "oddity" became important.

How absolutely marvelous in the end, in that conscious moment, he knew you and recalled. The last scene was potent. And I felt the imperatives at the end. Very protective of your own manner of dealing with grief, which is valid. Good for you, finding your voice. *Heart*

This personal episode gives a peek at your dad and family as you illustrate the different connection you had from the start. Wonderful to have memories of that. *Smile*

*Sun* Highest regards and light on the path as you Write on! *Sun*
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1209
1209
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*Sun*Hail Nixie. I am glad to have found these touching personal reflections about loss and how you are dealing with it. Such a brave vulnerability in sharing true and allowing everything to flow without judgement. *Heart**Delight*


The image of the title evokes a chord of aloneness given the content and theme of the writing. I can see her touching the father's things, reading his last notes, clearing it out, or even sitting with as empty tribute to what used to be his. Pondering how she could make it meaningful again. *Thumbsup*

Indeed, as I read I see it as touchstone and like the way you put it as "absorb his energy and not be destroyed" showing in a vivid way the closeness you had with him and the difficulty in accepting the loss.*Star*

The piece is very deep and shows your vulnerability at the core as it was triggered by Father's Day, as the family goes to familiar places without your dad. the details are vivid of the scenes and your awarenesses and emotional sensitivities. I wonder if you also are picking up all the other people's feelings about loss, who perhaps are not dealing with them. If so , they add such weight to your own. I feel you are a very aware type of person.*Hug2**Hug1*

You really show how your own mental health is effected here and the depths to which you go in your mind. Awareness that dad may be there feels like a help to keep you from acting on the heavy feelings. The last bit about your father knowing he was done is powerful. How awesome he chose you to be there for his last breath, trusting in your strength and allowance of his passing. He knew you quite well, it seems. *Wink*
His energetic presence may be asking you to let go of the heaviness that he may have carried and you took on.

I so marvel at the honest intensity here and that you wrote it so naturally makes me understand it as part of the healing process. Keep on keeping on. You made it through. *Heart*

Thanks for sharing you! *Star*

*Sun* Highest regards and light on the path as you Write on! *Sun*
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1210
1210
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Sun*Hail Nixie! I am back and found more fairies! *Fairyr* *Delight* I hope you are enjoying your GOT port raid.*Delight*


The title is unique and drew my attention.I am glad I did for there is a charming magical story about a fairy and a little boy! The picture is cute and the necklace prompt lovely. You did a fabulous job responding to the call. Maybe you have a fairy muse cousin to your other one. *Wink*

I enjoyed reading this fairy adventure and the way you describe the landscape. I laughed at how she measured the trek. LOL Imps!
Her character is well shown especially through the lively dialogue, which gives us backstory, her emotions and the main purpose of her journey. I laughed when she yelled at the boy to move as it he would hear her. When he did it was a surprise and gave me an "oh oh" moment. *Shock* The connection between her fate and his is original and that fairies earn their wings is a cool notion. Her sadness here is evident and we see her motivation for having to accomplish this task.

I wondered how old the boy was as some of the words he uses seem for older folks--though perhaps he did hear his father use those terms like "sanctified", "rightly so" but then he seems a very serious sort of kid.

The story line has all the elements of the fantasy from the wicked queen who wants the young fairy to fail, the heroine who has the overcome the journey obstacles, and the helpmate at the last minute when time is running out, and, of course, the magic! the plot is coherent with lots of vivid descriptions, active verbs and I could so imagine the scenes and characters you create. I was happy at the end at the notion of prophecy fulfilled, and the idea of Desdemona's future. Good idea and noone would be expecting it back home. I'd like to see more to the story. chapter 2...." *Wink* or I can see your *Facepalm*. LOL

I wondered about the title---is it the boy's regime that is upset---or will it be upset as she finds the necklace and foils the plot of the queen? Interesting.

Thanks for sharing your unique vision out of your comfort zone. I was entertained and played in your realm.
*Starstruck*

*Sun* Highest regards and light on the path as you Write on! *Sun*
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1211
1211
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Sun*Hail Nixie! I cannot believe I have never reviewed this, though I have shopped here.*Delight**Heart*


This is, as the title so rightly indicates, an amazing concept for a shop! Having a variety of types of cnote links in one place is so convenient and I can find something for almost every occasion. I especially like the Promotion Section as I find I have to scroll through a lot of shop to find these type. Having a whole sectional shop dedicated to this is genius and so thoughtful. I love the vibrant dragon notes too. Unique and lively. *Dragon* The black and white cnote shop is original too.

The shop page is appealing with its subsections and gift boxes scripted with the type of theme of cnotes treasure hidden inside. All one has to do is click and it opens to a separate page. I like that as then I can refer back to shop again.

The labels for each section are clear, stating what the cnote section is about. I had to smile at the question used at the dinosaur shop! *Smile* Well, how often do we? LOL The decor and banners are colourful and the shop exudes a joyful vibe, befitting the nature of cnote gifting. The cnotes within each of the shops are fun and original creations anyone would enjoy.

Thank you for creating this stellar contribution to WDC! It so deserves its Quill Award!*Starstruck*

*Sun* Highest regards and light on the path as you Write on! *Sun*
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1212
1212
Review of Highway To Hope  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Sun**BalloonP*Hail WhoMe! I am back again with a review with to celebrate you!*Delight*

*Sun*This is a title that can evoke many feelings and thoughts as I consider all the ways people live and hope for better days or magical dreams. The concept of a highway is interesting as well. I thought of walks for Cancer and other illnesses and really how we all walk in life hoping for the best.

This expression is heart-felt and moving with its intense queries about fate, destiny and meaning of life. The ideas are relevant as many deal with the sense of hopelessness in trials and whether or not they truly have any power.

I like at the end a choice is made to HOPE, a positive turn to believe in something, rather than just giving in. As not everyone makes that choice to stand for a purpose when times are bad.

The free style suits the intensity and content of the theme. Ideas flow easily and the imagery of the road is consistent throughout. I like the notion of the the rope and this verse has a potency in its turning point.
I imagine the rope to represent a connection to something, someone as well, that we are not travelling alone and that to grab on is the necessary action to raise the vibration. Wow! Deep stuff!

Another evocative and meaningful expression that reflects personal and yet collective concerns, leaving me inspired. Thank you. *Starstruck**Heart*

Light on the path as you write on!

*RainbowL*A Review from "Simply Positive Review Forum " !*RainbowR*

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1213
1213
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Sun*Hail Whome! I am happy to do a PORT RAID review to celebrate you.*Delight*


I was drawn to this darkly evocative title as it appealed to my imagination. The atmosphere you create is haunting and I can relate to the notion of hearing things in the dark, I even think I hear music from somewhere. Weird! *Shock*

I like the way you run down the page as it feels like running down a tunnel in the dark not seeing far and voices closing in. Eery.

You build suspense and the idea they have been there for years gave me a pause. You allow the reader to ponder on their own perspective. Good ploy.
The end is a lovely twist and an aha!

I liked the turn of phrase: "they know not rest" as it gives me shivers.
I wondered about "These voices....I have no fear". I thought there was something disconnecting. Should it be "Of these voices...I have no fear" or something. Also are they "ever quiet in the light" or "voices ever quiet, in the light I have no fear." Wasn't sure how to read it. *Confused* It just struck me as odd.

The two repetitions of the first line which is also the title is very effective. Even though "merely" is an adverb the alliteration in the line is potent and lets us breathe relief.

When I read aloud I wondered about using a period after "nothing" and why a comma was used after "them" before "just the same". Those seem to flow together as one.

I enjoyed entering into the vision and was happy no real scare was present the poem gives tribute to the marvel of our imagination and I wonder how we tune into the fears for others at the same time.

Thanks for sharing your whispers!*Starstruck*

*Sun* Highest regards and light on the path as you Write on! *Sun*
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1214
1214
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Sun*Hail Whome! I am happy to do a PORT RAID review to celebrate you.*Delight*


I so dislike being embarrassed and even can get embarrassed for others. LOL It is so cool to hear about other's miscues. This is too funny and yet, really, could happen. I wouldn't know the names of all the plants! Luckily most people just put everything on the counter so cashiers can see.

The episode is really quite funny but not at the time I am sure. The line she spoke was rather odd too. Your description was vivid and I really felt the cashiers' excitement and then her uncertainty when she had no idea what to say. I could imagine what she might have been thinking-- the poor woman with a heart issue and questioning why she would need to tell about it.

The picture of the ladies looking at each other and dawning the notion of what was happening is priceless too. The name of plant certainly gives pause. if they had said clover or maybe even lady's slipper...LOL

It is a plausible situation as the store and cashier are new, I cannot imagine even trying to learn all the codes and such!

The narrative telling style with its longer sentences,works for relating an experience after the fact. It was easy to read and glitch free. If this is based in truth, Wow. I was with you. Real life is certainly wackier than one can make up.

Thanks for sharing this cute piece of life. *Starstruck*

*Sun* Highest regards and light on the path as you Write on! *Sun*
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1215
1215
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Sun*Hail Nixie! I am having so much fun in your port. Now i found fairies! *Heart* *Delight*


This title is awesome and the story is so delgithful! Your characters are so real and the dialogue and vivid action show what happens. I enjoyed the twist on the "fairy' qualities.

The title reflects the story and using it in the last line really closes out the episode effectively! I had to smile thinking about who will believe who now when she hands the story to the teacher. LOL

You set the energy and hooked me in with the opening line. Active verbs and descriptions showed who the characters were and the setting so I could buy into its realism.

the dialogue was my favourite and captured the attitude of these gals really vibrantly. I laughed out loud at the fairy biting her and eating stuff and then turning her nose up at healthy Kale chips. I got a kick out of that surprising food choice. Later when she takes it to her friend--I laughed again. *Laugh* Very good and again gives an clue to fairy's character. Wonderful. The names were well chosen too.

The writing was easy to read and quick paced with lots of movement to keep my attention. I think kids would love this. Magical things like moonbeam pens and the explanation of how fairies came to be are original and fun.

The idea of dark fairy magic and that somehow Portia had an effect on it was original twist. Her softening when she opened the window to let her in showed her real self outside of the frustration with the assignment. Happy endings rock!

Thanks for sharing your amazing imagination and "show, not tell" crafting.*Starstruck* I so had fun entering your dream.

*Sun* Highest regards and light on the path as you Write on! *Sun*
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1216
1216
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Sun*Hail Nixie! I am so happy to do a PORT RAID review to celebrate you on behalf of the House Martell in the"King's Landing updating " .*Delight*


I did some digging into your treasure chest and look what I found! Dragons! *Delight*

Wow! I was so enthralled by this feast for the imagination. Your ideas are original and the story came to life. The character of Lily is well portrayed and her tone and resistance was potent. It is rather real to life that when someone resists so much, there can be an underlying truth they try to hide for one reason or another. The contrast to the Damien is well done too as he tries to coax her in husband ways to follow him.

I enjoyed the whole portal idea and the meeting of the elements, stars, moon girl and it is a wonderfully conceived scene. The details give vivid picture and the dialogue is purposeful and natural for the theme. I like the way everyone talks around Lily at times as if she is not there and will just go along. Her responses are realistic.

The plot works as she slowly comes to understand. Giving the characters info that she only knows add to the possibility that this fantasy realm is real. *Thumbsup*

In the fantasy story you bring attention to the woes of earth and mankind's effect on it. Having a scientist begin to listen may be a hope for the future if they can convince other powers. It also suggests that we, who remain unconscious, had better wake up and see what is happening.

The language and style fit the thematic content and the quips between Lily and Damien at the start were entertaining. I love the name of the dragon, the satin robes of moon girl and the "whisper" of the soul mystery.

The ending brings us back into this realm and we wonder! *Delight* You have me convinced and then...nice twist.

The story was captivating and I marvel at the creativity, blended the fantasy with a real concern for earth. Brilliant expression.
Thanks for sharing your vision! *Starstruck*

*Sun* Highest regards and light on the path as you Write on! *Sun*
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1217
1217
Review of Broken Wing  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*Sun*Hail Pepper! I am happy to do a Surprise review to celebrate you on behalf of the House Martell in the"King's Landing updating " .*Delight*


Oh, this is a marvelous story and I was drawn right in and had to read to the end. I like aboriginal themes that relate their cultural ideas. The title focused on the character and the message and also got my attention. Had it not been on the surprise list I would have checked it out.

The main character, setting, problem were all set out clearly from the beginning and I really felt for Broken Wing and the way he thought at the start. The opening line was a good hook.

The way the Medicine man used questions and silence while considering the issue is so truthful. I have seen where shaman's do that---to give space to the whole truth and direction to arise. Wonderful scene and purposeful dialogue in the first section.

The Sweat Lodge scene was lovely too as the shaman gently took care of Broken Wing and the description was vivid so we could see his face. I have been in a couple of sweat lodges and sweat and drain you do!

Broken Wings experiences were woven elegantly and I got the shivers as I read one dream after another. Seeing his life in sequence of dream so fits the construct of the quest and an exquisite way to share his life and potential future. The problem of not being able to provide for family would have been a great one in those days and so great worry lifted when purpose for a life is revealed. The symbolism of the feather was superb.

The language of the storyteller flowed smoothly and kept my rapt attention focused on the story. The aura of the "people of the time and the scenes was vividly created and pulled me into their story. *Thumbsup* You captured the teasing manner of the other boys and the chiefs tent scene so it felt real and possible. I was not pulled out from the flow by any glitches I could see. I felt you really showed, rather than told the story in the way you weave vivid verbs and descriptive scenes.*Thumbsup*

I loved the solemn ending that wrapped up the search and got chills again as I imagined Broken Wing's awe.*Star*

Brilliantly conceived and composed tale that feels like a tribute to aboriginal people and their lore. Thanks for sharing your vision. It was entertaining to enter into it. *Starstruck* Well deserving of its Ribbon!

*Sun* Highest regards and light on the path as you Write on! *Sun*
eyestar

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1218
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Sun**BalloonP*Hi alfcollier! I am happy to do a Surprise review with to celebrate you!*Delight*

*Sun*Wow! This is an amazing tale woven in a mythic type poem. The title appealed to me as I like Mermaids and it really summed up the essence of the poetic theme. Good choice.

It was a dramatic and exciting tale that was fun to read aloud as I did to a child I was looking after today. The images were captivating and portrayed the storm at sea and the sailor's rescue vividly with lots of active verbs and vocabulary that built the the thematic atmosphere.

Well chosen and interesting words for the consistent rhyme scheme assisted the flow and you did a fabulous job have all the end words for each verb rhyme the same. That is a feat! *Thumbsup* Also you did not use too many "and"s as connectors, which in longer poems I have seen. Yo have two close together at the end though. The second one could be changed to "letting" instead as the first one totally makes a point.

The rhythm flowed smoothly and was pleasant to read. Impressive as I only noticed two places where the syllables were 13 instead of 14.
eg. verse 6, line 3 has 13 but is missing a word "him" I think. *Wink*
eg. verse 11, line 2 only counts 13.

The poem was filled with detail and I could imagine the boat and the ripped sails. The story was coherent and the idea presented to get us to question the truth of mermaid lore as she did look after the sailor...yet....left.

The emotional tone of the shipmates and the sailor was potent as well. I felt for the sailor in his long life sorrow and make a connection to the lasting effect of mermaid love. I like how you had him continue to tell the story even though others disbelieved. You leave it to us to decide as the question in your title evoked.

Thank you sharing this indepth vision and eloquent composition. I enjoyed the journey. You have a gift.*Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!

*RainbowL*A Review from "Simply Positive Review Forum " !*RainbowR*

Eyestar
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1219
1219
Review of Sale Pending  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Sun**BalloonP*Welcome to WDC M. Deeds Barry! I am happy to do a review with to celebrate you!*Delight*

*Sun*What a delightful theme for a poem! It has an interesting title too.

I was charmed by the loving tone and effective personification of the house. Unique concept for describing the perfect family home. The use of the present tense makes it immediate and the imagery is vivid. I loved the "cap" and "cosmetics" and the comparison to a body. *Thumbsup* Verse 3 is my favourite as it has some lovely sound combinations and evoked as sense of fun and warmth.

The free flow style suits the emotional content and theme and It was pleasant to read aloud. The repetitions worked well and kept bringing our attention to the desire and the idea that it is there and the speaker will find it. The verses seem balanced and coherently flow until the ending verse.

The last verse with its sadder thought was moving and gives us the impression that the houses want to be filled so the speaker will find one. It gives strength to the hope. Having the verse shorter works here.
The punctuation assisted the read and gave a sense of where to pause in the free flow.

I was a bit confused by the "and" in "and joining" in verse 1. Is it needed? *Confused* Plus too many "and"s can be like run on lines, weaker connections.

The vibration in the weaving comes across potently and it was so warm and and the image of the house is charming. I like the "swings...honeybells" line. Beautiful! *Smile*

Thank you for sharing your vision and your fine crafting with us. Keep on following your muse. *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!

*RainbowL*A Review from "Simply Positive Review Forum " !*RainbowR*

Eyestar
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Review of Alien Invasion  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Sun**BalloonP**Alien* Hail Bumblegrum! I am from the House of Martell come to take you...er do a review! *Alien**Delight*

*Sun**Bigsmile* Oh my gosh! You have quite a sense of humour and can spin a tale about anything! I burst out laughing at the end of this as it was unexpected after the very serious exploits that came before. Of course, the dialect at the start got a smile as into the sci-fi realm you took me and set the stage. The second incident of the speech struck me even funnier but the aliens were quite serious and the language you use helped give that impression. Where-ever did you think up those words? Baby talking aliens. LOL

In 55 words you give the complete story right down to the intention of the aliens. The words like "galactic" etc built the sci-fi theme and even the font was an effective choice. I liked the word "declaimed" as it is not an expected one. The tone was factual . The twist at the end was marvelous. I like the descriptive word for the dog and using the scientific terms suited your story. Well done!

You truly have a gift for these 55 word shorts. You know how to twist and see a funny side. I really appreciate your sharing your obvious joy of writing these and for the gift of laughter today. You rock! *Smile*
Those alien words could be a great dance number. *Music1**Laugh*

Light on the path as you write on!

*RainbowL*A Review from "Simply Positive Review Forum " !*RainbowR*

Eyestar
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1221
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Review of Indigestion  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Sun**BalloonP*HI bumblegrum! I found another piece that had no pretty stars yet so here I be!*Delight*

*Sun*The title sums the story in a direct way and you or spin on the subject is unique. Monsters can get indigestion. I had to laugh at what affected him! Good one!

I absolutely loved reading the first line with it alliterative quality and vivid descriptions. Time, place and character all set neatly in short order and in an interesting way. I imagined the slime and hear the crunch! It was so natural the way the monster just grabbed what passed by, much like a frog would flick a bug. Very creature like, without thought. *Thumbsup*

In the next line I think you need a comma or period after "lips". Good alliteration here too helps the flow. oops! Watch the adverb!

The punch line was funny with a good switch of the word in his wish.*Smile*
He sounded upset yet in the line before you said he just "sighed", which has a different energy to me, than the strong reaction in the last line. *Confused* It could just be my POV and he went from sigh to upset in a flash! Or maybe it was more just a comment. The exclamation could be taken that way though usually if you are wishing to you know who, you are kinda upset. LOL

Still it was yummy read! *Star**Choco**Glass3*

Light on the path as you write on!

*RainbowL*A Review from "Simply Positive Review Forum " !*RainbowR*

Eyestar
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1222
1222
Review of King Tut  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Sun**BalloonP*HI bumblegrum! I am happy to do a review with to celebrate you!*Delight*

*Sun*I couldn't help coming back to read more of your short tales. They may be addictive. LOL I was drawn to the title as I have an interest in Egyptian history!

*Laugh* Two laughs from me in 55 words! Awesome. The king's wishes for the future and the last line quip. Brilliant concept.

The setting and time were clear from the title and first line where we see the priest and pharaoh involved in ceremony. The contrast between the young over eager Tut and the serious priest is well shown through the tone of dialogue. It fits with how the relationship would be.

King Tut's hopes are funny and futuristic as if he is prophetic. *Wink*
He sounded like a teen. The priest very matter of fact at the end and delivers that line with a straight face. Good ploy.

The lines flowed well and the message and punch line clear. I wondered again about using adverbs as descriptors. How could one show "suitably obsequious" or show " youthfully enthusiastic" in a more visual way?
Of course, you only have 55 words so this works for me. I just recall how adverbs are thought to be "telling" not "showing." *Wink*

Plus I got the joke so all is well! *Bigsmile* Keep it up as I am coming back.

Light on the path as you write on!

*RainbowL*A Review from "Simply Positive Review Forum " !*RainbowR*


Eyestar
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1223
1223
Review of Stampede  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Sun**BalloonP*HI Fyn! I am so enjoying revisting your port with its fab collection of poems. I admire your word wizardry.*Delight*

*Sun*The title rocks and what a unique yet logical title for this interesting piece, which looks to be based on a true event? Sounds real anyway.

I felt so happy when people wanted to save the old fashioned merry go-round as a historical landmark. It must have been something to witness. The pictures are beautiful and add to the story you tell.

The first verse makes the carousel glow and come alive with with active verbs like "burst" and "gyre". Your descriptions is vivid and sets the place and time. I bet the horses were lovely works of art.

The imagery and language of a stampede is carried through the whole poem. Brilliant! *Star*
Comparing the crowd coming to a wave on the beach is precious too as it fits in with the local and the fact that the carousel had held its own against worse storms. The descriptions of the crowd circles and horses were vivid and I could get a sense of the energy gathering to protect this source of so many memories. The collective and the showing the pride of the New Englanders was well shown and reminiscent of old towns in the past. Protecting their territory from outsiders! The tone was potent as well.

Free rein style suited the movement and flow of this poem and the alignment on the page was appealing and each verse had a different feel that fit the theme of each. Where the horses were felt fast pace and the tight weave mimicked solidarity. Good job.

The last lines lines felt profound:"between the condos and the sea". Gives me pause to ponder. A happy ending.

Thanks for sharing this unique expression in honour of this magic of old. *Horse*

Light on the path as you write on!

*RainbowL*A Review from "Simply Positive Review Forum " !*RainbowR*


Eyestar
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1224
1224
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Sun**BalloonP*Hail Fyn! I hope you are enjoying your port raid!*Delight*

*Sun*I don't get migranes but I have friend's who do and you create a potent image of what that looks and feels like. Wow! The words and images you use are vivid and effective to emulate what happens in your head. "drums" "steel" yikes.

The free flow suits the theme and emotional content and I liked reading it aloud. You word choice created some vibrant soundscapes: "Metallic..steel" and verse 3 was amazing for that. Wow! *Thumbsup* Brilliant image is "nausea tsunamis". It just sounds so appealing yet the experience is not. I can't stand headaches of nausea so I can't imagine them together.
I learned a new word too. "mouldered" I had to go look it up as I knew "mouldy". *Wink* That is an explicit image too. ew! Messy.

After following you in the trauma of a migraine I then go to laugh at the end when you give a cause! LOL That might just be enough stress to cause it. Nice twist out of the physical experience to a rational tone and message. Well done. I could almost feel the plunk to the floor at the end.

The title bears the theme and the hint that this is not the first headache but that this one require something stronger than aspirin.*Thumbsup* Preparing us was a good idea. I hope you don't really count. I notice that the title on the page itself has a typo. You added a "d" to headache. *Wink*

Truly you are a word wizard when you can so vividly describe a migraine and make it poetic! *Starstruck* Thanks for sharing.

Light on the path as you write on!

*RainbowL*A Review from "Simply Positive Review Forum " !*RainbowR*
Eyestar
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1225
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Review of 4th of July  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Sun*Hail Fyn!I am happy to do a review to celebrate you. *Delight*


I love haiku and this sounded like fun. I wonder if it is better named a senryu as it involves people and holidays rather than just an image in nature. *Wink* It is a fabulous creation full of colour and vibrancy on the page, which adds to the atmosphere. The ancient haikuists might frown as the idea of haiku was to let the image present the naked vision and allow people to read into it. But this is celebratory for this age and theme.

The format is well composed and the images strong. I can picture the scene clearly and really like the image of the "patchwork" "embroidered". Brilliant. The enjambment works well here for drama. Active verbs like "erupt" and "quilt" add potency to the image.

traditional haiku uses minimum punctuation and few capitals so I would have not used periods and capitals except for the name. I was confused about the colon in the second verse as I thought line 2 flowed naturally into the third line. It made me stop and reread.

The tone is celebratory and the reader can get caught up in the magic.

As a haiku/senryu it follows the form but tends to use sentence type lines instead of short phrases where the reader can read between the lines. In that it is not traditional--oh how shall I rate it? lol

I really enjoyed the flare and flavour of the poem. You drew me in and gave tribute in a energetic way the the holiday. Very creative and well conceived expression. Unique senryu.

Thanks for sharing your vision and craft! *Starstruck*

*Sun* Highest regards and light on the path as you Write on! *Sun*
eyestar

House Martell image for G.o.T.
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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