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926
926
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
*Balloonp* Hiya Megan Rose. I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


*Delight*This wonderful Austen story popped up on the Random Reads so I couldn't resist reading it! I enjoyed how you used her as a character and within the story use some factual background to create a brilliant fictional story in the style of Jane Austin. *Thumbsup*

I liked how you show the likely supportive family dynamic with her brother and father. The idea of the magazine was a good idea and I like the twist about who owned the paper at the end. Nice job.
The ball scene and interaction between Jane and the Captain is realistic and a wonderful rendition of the real suspected romance and its ending. You use the ways of the day to show communication by letters, polite conversation, and the attitude of the one author about women at the time.

The details are vivid and build a clear atmosphere and settings. The character dialogue is well done and purposeful in revealing the story. I was drawn into the delightful story. it was fun to think Jane would write to the Brontes!*Smile*

Thanks for sharing this wonderful vision of Jane!

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **
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927
Review of Wind of Winter  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC Naroace! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*

The alliterative title appealed to me and I like woodland animals. Your description of their plight in winter is vivid and your appreciation of nature is evident in the tone. I like the observational tone and outlook in your summation at the end. Nature happens! The last line is hopeful and a call forward to the summer when food is more plentiful. A hint to a new cycle.

*Wolf*I was enchanted by the first paragraphs where you drew me into the landscape and the animal's lives. The part where winter is effecting the animals has a somber vibe: "refuse to eat..." and "did not make it". Sad.

*Squirrel* I appreciate the variety of sentence lengths for effect and the instances of personifications are effective. eg. "leaves dance" and "shadows stretch" etc. Lovely to imagine.

*Bird* Thanks for sharing this marvelous vision. I really enjoyed the read. *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **
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928
Review of White Balloons  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


*BalloonR**ConfettiP*HI Webbie! I am back here with a review to celebrate you! *Star*

*Balloonp* Oh my gosh! This is so lovely and moving a picture of this sad event. The symbol of the balloons is brilliant to compare with the free-spirit at the end. The images you paint are vivid with detail and I enjoyed the personification of the balloons is well done. It was pleasant to read aloud with its effective vocabulary sound combinations and clear descriptions.

*Balloonb* The voice is clear from this observer of the scene and the queries interjected at key points of the description are relevant and involve the reader in the wondering. Well done!

*Balloons* I liked the look of the poem on the page though I think the lines where only one word is--might be better balanced. eg. like begin the second line with the phrase "dressed...day" instead of having just the word day. It may be just to my eye! *Smile*

*Balloong* It is a potent tribute to a child's death and the hope that remains that he will find peace.

Thanks for sharing this evocative vision! *Starstruck* It really touched my heart.

Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

eyestar
A birthday gift


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
929
929
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


*BalloonR**ConfettiP*Happy day! I am here with a review to celebrate you! *Star*

*Fairy*I couldn't resist this intriguing title and it is such a unique one for Hallow'en season! The personification of the gargoyle as he speaks in the letter is brilliant!

*Dragon* I had to smile at the snack with the book he read and laughed aloud at the play on "gross" and the "fossil"! *Laugh* That was unexpected and I liked the blunt tone! It adds personality to the gargoyle! His insults of the old librarian are funny. The image in the last line is hilarious too. Very vivid! *Star*

*Fairy*It was entertaining to read and his point of view is clear, his tricks are quite inventive! The creative idea of having a statue come to life so he can hide is cool!

*Dragon*The second line I found hard to read and had to read it again--it seem long and complex. The word "period" I think threw me off. I don't think it is needed. *Wink*

*Fairy*The old fashion vocabulary like "perchance" and the style of speech adds to the atmosphere.

The style of writing uses long sentence structure, which works for a library theme and a smart gargoyle who reads. The alliterative line is brilliant an funny to imagine! Good job!

Thanks for sharing this entertaining and comical story!*Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

eyestar
A birthday gift
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930
Review of Hasta La Vista  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Balloonp* Hey Whiskerface! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


*Fairy* LOL! Oh this is priceless and you really surprised me with the twist at the end! Brilliant! *thuubsup*

You drew me into the ending of the relationship right from the key word prompt. The potency of the choice to say good bye is emphasized with the short blunt lines throughout the verses. Vocabulary was well chosen to suit the theme and the message was clear. After I read to near the end, I see now how some words were clues to what you were really taking about. (sickening, common, etc. I am a little slow!! LOL

Making it a dialogue added to its drama and began the awareness about who the guest was. *Wink* Refrain line was effective and enforced the demand!

The verses were balance with distinct rhythm and rhyme and it was fun to read it's strong tone! I could hear good old Arnold! *Laugh* Good use of prompt words!

Thanks for sharing your craftiness and vision! *Starstruck* Made my day! Hope the bug left!

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **

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931
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


*BalloonR**ConfettiP*HI deemac I am here with a review to celebrate you! *Star*

*Thumbsup*What a fascinating idea for an in and out event. I have read stories with this contrast and it can be quite fun.

*Smile* Your introduction is short with a clear direction and it flows smoothly especially the flow of "rolling story"! Using the word "just" twice so close popped out at me and slowed me down. I would drop the second instance.

*Sun* I like how you exemplify the idea by using the key words in your two paragraphs and I had to smile at the second one.*Laugh* A fun tone inviting creativity.

*Fairy*It is cool to provide an opportunity for many to use their creativity to respond to prior entries and present an opposite.
It was fun to read. I remember Puffinstuff and the mix of common images like Polly's teapot, Grandfather clock, Dagnabbit, etc create quite he wild story line! *Laugh*

Thanks for creating this comical creation! *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

eyestar
** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **



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Review of Tuning in  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC starindarkness! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


I like the title which is an interesting idea for haiku! Haiku are written about a moment in time and tuning in makes sense as one does get quiet and observe the moment.*Smile*

The haiku has the correct syllables and lines and has a vivid image. It does not usually have capital letters and is centered on the page. The personification is well done with smoke whispering though I am not sure it is done in haiku form. The flow is soothing.

I have been learning haiku and the form generally has two images that are contrasted and does not use connected sentence structures. eg. a phrase and then a fragment of a contrasting image to provide a surprise element. It is the trickiest thing about haiku I find.*Wink*

Still, it is a calming expression that shows the intent of theme. Thanks for writing in this challenging form! Keep on going! *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **

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Review of Shadow  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC Igor! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


*Fairy*The title suggested mystery and your story is intriguing. I was drawn into the scenery and images which you described so vividly. I could imagine the person watching the crowd and being swept up. I liked the idea both characters slouch! It is a bit eery actually and you give no names for the shadows.

*Smile* The story flowed well and I think it is hard to describe the subway chaos! The idea that one is in his own world while flowing along is interesting too. I loved the description " of monochrome, monotonous, sleepy silhouettes,".So true! You capture the feeling of the subway life effectively.*Thumbsup*

*Peng* A couple of glitches struck me : "ran along cheek" confused me.
"spoil the nerves...bug...." I was not sure of either.
I think "on my opinion" should be "in my opinion".
Is "stream" a metaphor for the crowd? *Wink*

Your manner of expression is original and I enjoyed your vision! *Starstruck* Thanks for sharing at WDC! Have fun.

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 
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Review of How I came here  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


Hi Pandapoo. I enjoyed reading your little bio blurb. I could feel the desire to know and explore. I always think asking questions is a good thing. I got the idea that you have ideas ahead of your time and it can be disappointing when they have not shown up. Hopefully being here you can share your difference and express the dream.

I chuckled at your vivid description in the second sentence and at "Lalaland". We all have one.
Your expression is clearly written and easy to follow. The tone and sharing is personal with a positive vibe. *Star*

Thanks for sharing your first item. It was a good topic for a test item! *Smile* Have fun here.
If you have questions, just ask away!

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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935
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)

*Flowerw* This is a review from "WdC Kind Hearts"  *Flowerw*


*Tiara* Hi Princess Megan! I am so happy to see your new edition of Jane Austen Newsletter. The new picture cutters are amazing. Thanks for sharing them and where to find them. Interesting and original idea they had to create them.

It is amazing how you find new things to share:the details about card playing was cool Funny how they do these activities yet I didn't really pick up on it when reading. I have heard of Whist and my folks taught us to play cribbage.

Interesting commentary on learning history in novels. I used to read historical novels and I have to agree it is much more interesting to be drawn into the time in a good story. *Smile* I haven't seen the new Austen Vampires yet, not sure it is my thing. Looking forward to the lady Susan movie. I have a copy to read as it was included in an Amazon compilation of Austen that I bought online. *Smile*

The newsletter is freely organised with your personal style and insights which invites readers to interact and share their ideas. I like how you cover a variety of info-bits.

The pictures add to the theme and are appealing. The links to the growing number of Austen items on the site are convenient as well.*Thumbsup*

Thanks for sharing another installment of Jane's World. *Starstruck*

eyestar
** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **
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Review of Midnight Haiku  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC Bowie! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


Yay! Your haiku popped up on the Random Reads and I enjoy haiku and have been studying the traditional form myself. *Smile*

I like the image of the first line and wondered what season it referred to as Haiku usually have nature theme. The idea of one reflecting in the dark is one I can relate to.

I was confused by "ways which..to kill.." do you mean "ways in which..." Also haiku do not have capital letters.

The form follows the 5/7/5 syllable and three lines and has two contrasting ideas: the midnight air and the person thinking. I think the image could be more vivid though. I have learned that true haiku are based on one's observation of a moment of time---with concrete imagery. *Wink*

This example has a philosophical feel to it. The last line was intriguing--- to kill time is an expression as opposed to a real image. Still, I thought of how, when I am sleepless late at night, I do ponder on how to fill the time when I don't really want to get out of my nice warm bed--- and thinking of how to get to sleep too!*Laugh*

I enjoyed entering your vision here and hope you will continue to develop your haiku skills. I find it a challenging form to get right, especially the 'aha" or surprise moment element. *Smile*

Thanks for posting on WDC and sharing your expression. It was fun to ponder.

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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937
Review of Pegasus of Mine  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloonp* Hiya SB Musing! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


*Horse* I love myths and Pegasus is a favourite so I was drawn to your title. The idea of the ownership was intriguing too.

I enjoyed reading your quatrain with its rhyme and vivid image of the famed horse. It is interesting that the painting gives you inspiration and the way you describe is shows it clearly. I like the healing eyes line. Vocabulary is well chosen: "glimmer of light" , "infinite gaze", etc. I wasn't sure what "mouth...feather" was though the idea of "grooming" clarified a bit. *Wink*

I notice your quatrain has a rhyme scheme that seems to be aabb but you use a few not true rhymes. eg. like "pride" with "mine" and "untold" with "unknown". Usually quatrains have distinct patterns. They are quite close though and did not detract from the image you portray. it just struck me as I read aloud. It is cool how you do have rhymes for those words in the next verse. *Smile* It seems to tie it together.

The soundscape is appealing with evidence of assonance and consonance that gives potency to the read. I think the word "shinning" only needs one "N". *Wink*

The theme and appearance on the page is appealing and it is sad that the picture is not longer available. You might also post this under the myth genre. *Lightning3*

Thanks for sharing your vivid vision and stirring my imagination. *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **


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Review of Stand Firm  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


*Fairy* Your item popped up on the random reads and I like the declarative strong title.

The expression is strong and shows your faith. The image qualities of the dark are vivid. The reflective tone is vibrant and reveals the struggle that many go through. The repetition of the title words are well used and emphatic.*Thumbsup*

The style makes for a dramatic read with a variety of sentence lengths and types. The queries may draw responses from an audience as well. You have some lovely sound combinations that make the read flow and add vibrant tone. eg. "sly smart weasel" , "weaknesses,..waiting to pounce". etc. I appreciated the language.
Thanks for sharing your vision and craft. *Starstruck* Have fun at WDC.

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
939
939
Review of Scott's Pot  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


*Fairy*Your cool title popped up on the Random Reads. I really had fun reading it and it reminded me of Dr Seuss. It really has a child like quality and fits the prompt as simple rhymes are easy for children to read. *Thumbsup*

I like the form as it appears on the page and how it adds and subtracts words that rhyme. The addition of the opposite word "not" is brilliant. The silliness of the work makes it funny!

It is a delightful piece.Thanks for sharing your creativity and entering the contest!*Thumbsup*

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
940
940
Review of Mother's Gone  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


*Delight* Wow! I could really see and feel this little episode. How sad. It is so neat how you can tell a story in such a short "blink".

The scene was vivid in detail with a strong vibe emanating. Wonderful.*Thumbsup*

I noticed a need for commas in your first line and a little grammar glitch. I don't think it is the Milk sitting.*Wink* Maybe break up the line for ease. eg,"The sullen man, sitting in a diner's booth, gulped down...". "He had been coming..."

The last word "too" should be "to" yet we should not end a line in a preposition. You could say "in the way his mother had instructed him." That is a sad image.*Thumbsup* It is a creative use of the prompt too.

Thanks for sharing this image and entering the contest! It is no easy feat! *Salute*

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
941
941
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


*Flowerb* I enjoyed imagining this vision of the child in the open spaces. I remember making chains and wandering over meadows.

The poem has no strict form and has some pleasing sounds and flow as I read it aloud. Alliteration with the "w" and the rhymes. I wonder if making a consistent rhyme would enhance the flow.

The past tense is effective though I notice in line 5 you used "roam" in the present tense. I think it is is stronger to have a consistent time tense. eg. like "would roam".

I really liked the expressiveness of the last two lines. I wanted to put a comma after 'Oh" just for a little pause.

A delightful memory piece that brings up my own memories. Thanks for sharing your vision.*Smile*

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
942
942
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Balloong* Hiya Sum1! Happy 6th Anniversary! *Balloonp*


I found this cute poem in your port and had to check it out.

*Fairy*Personal Impression:

LOL! This is truly amazing and entertaining poem! I am impressed that each verse is a limerick and each one creates a coherent whole story! *Salute* What a feat! It was funny and I laughed at the antics of the critters and the last line is priceless. It does indeed echo Disney cartoons! *Rolling*

*Fairy* Conventions:
The limerick form is well constructed in its lines and humour though the exact syllabicaton is not consistent with 9/9/6/6/9 or 8/8/5/5/8. Some verses have shorter lines. I imagine it would be hard to keep it going and keep the story going. *Smile* The poem still flowed well when I read aloud and the true rhyme scheme assisted the flow and pace.

I smiled at "go" and "escargot" and the "pans". and "suds" with "spuds".LOL The few off rhymes did not detract from the read and its fun! I had to laugh at the newspaper names. Should they have capital letters?

The images were vivid I could imagine the antics. I loved the hawaiian shirt!
The choice of the odd friendship is a great one for limerick comedy too.

The punctuation was effective but I notice you do not use it every verse. {eg. 4, 5, 7} *Wink* I wondered why.

*Fairy* Overall:

I admire the time it must have taken to create this poem and the presentation on the page is appealing. Thanks for sharing your vision *Starstruck* Write on!

eyestar
Remember, this is only an Eyestar View! *Wink*
for "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 
Sig for blog/reveiws

*Flowerw* This is a review from "WdC Kind Hearts"  *Flowerw*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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943
Review of Poem for Kiya  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Fairy* Hiya Maryann!*Fairy*


I found this wonderful tribute in your port. I love Acrsotics.

*Fairy*Personal Impression:

Wow! This is stellar in the way you reveal qualities you admire in kiya. The acrostic is a perfect choice to describe a person and your creation is well conceived and constructed.

The presentation on the page is aesthetically appealing and reflects the love and positive vibe of the piece's intent. *Heart*

*Fairy* Conventions:

Incredible how you used the key letters in Kiya's name for the first word and and last word in a coherent manner. The word "kaleidoscope" is an perfect image too!
It is cool how you also got the Angel Army in there! It is so is part of her heart!

It was wonderful to read aloud with its flow and soundscape. I especially liked the assonance of long "I' words especially in line one but also in "fine" and "ideas", the long e and the consonance of the "k"sound and alliteration in the last line with "a"! Brilliant!

The imagery of the colourful scope and the active verb "burst" is so vibrant and reflects her creative and energetic personality in a vivid way. *Thumbsup*

I really enjoyed the happiness of this page and its weaving!

Thanks for sharing your vision of Kiya! *Starstruck* Write on!

eyestar
Remember, this is only an Eyestar View! *Wink*
for "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 
Sig for blog/reveiws

*Flowerw* This is a review from "WdC Kind Hearts"  *Flowerw*




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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944
Review of Abba entries  
for entry "Cassandra" 
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hiya Maryann!


I found this cool item in your Abba Collection! What a great form to use with the prompt title. *Smile*

*Fairy*Personal Impression:
I so enjoyed the positive and bright presentation of the poem as well as the creative use of the prompt lines. You capture the quality of the mythical girl and her gift. I was drawn by the first line about how captivating she was. *Thumbsup*

*Fairy* Conventions:
The poem was pleasant to read with its wonderful alliterative soundscape and flow. Words with as "nourishing" with 'Illusions", "glamour of lagoon", and the alliteration in line 1, 6 and 9. I really liked the words with the A in the last line. Beautiful image and unique word! *Star*

The form of Acrostic is well constructed and flows quite naturally. The words for each highlighted letter are well chosen. I wondered at the adverb with the R letter as often adverbs are not so poetic or descriptive.

*Fairy* Grammar/Punctuation:
The punctuation is minimal and used well to assist meaning as I read the poem. I noticed you used the "we" and Our" except in one line where you say "I". I think keeping consistent would make it more coherent. *Wink*

This was fun and upbeat to read! I admire you creating this is such a short time! *Salute*

Thanks for sharing your vision! *Starstruck* Write on!

eyestar
Remember, this is only an Eyestar View! *Wink*
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Sig for blog/reveiws

*Flowerw* This is a review from "WdC Kind Hearts"  *Flowerw*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
945
945
Review of Black Heart  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC Mare! Your poem popped up on random reads. I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


The title was intriguing and I figured it would have a dark theme. How sad that you had to put you precious pet to sleep. I hope it was to ease suffering, but it is still hard.

You have expressed the experience in a potent short poem with vivid image and vocabulary that gets the points across truthfully and briefly. Like exhaling!
The first line tugs at the heart to think about as the needle comes close. Kinda creepy too.

I wondered about the verbs and subjects. Does the first line mean "I gaze..."?
I assume the pet "exhale" ---should it be "exhaled"? as you do use the past tense in the last line. Again, I assume it is your "heart".
Or I gaze....exhales..... heart tears apart.... if you keep in the present moment at the end. the leaving and the tearing at one and the same time. *Heart* Just an idea that came to me as it seemed confusing.

The intent and meaning is very clear and the sadness is evoked. I think a little tweak with the verbs will make it more potent and NOW!

Thanks for sharing this moment and allowing me to play a little with your loving tribute. Please take what makes sense to you and leave the rest as just my POV.

My friend just had to put down her 9 year old boxer--they never found what was wrong but she couldn't watch him suffer and not eat any longer. *Sad**Heart*

Keep on expressing your vision and dream. *Starstruck* I appreciated entering into this moment.

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
946
946
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hiya Foster!


Your wonderful poem popped up on random reads. Lucky me. *Delight*

*Fairy* Personal Impression:
Wow! I really enjoyed this fascinating poem with its original theme. The first 3 line image intrigued and engaged my imagination. It was lovely to read aloud as well. The story of the natural rock cycle and this "frozen flower" is well conceived and logical. I felt the appreciative tone for the process and the wonder of this flowers' preservation and existence throughout. *Thumbsup*

*Fairy* Conventions:
It was a delight to read down the page and aloud. Your use of consonance, assonance and alliteration are so effective that I was lured to reread several times to enjoy the brilliance. eg.the a in "circumstances", "masses", long e and d in "bleed", and dreamed". I loved "instantly incinerating" as it flowed like fire. The vocabulary was well chosen for theme and flow.

The images are vivid and flowed from your how and why question at the start. It is almost sad when you say it sits on a shelf now and it doesn't belong to you. *Thumbsup* I did not notice a specific rhythm but I enjoyed reading the short free flow of the work. it felt like a reflection and yet told about earth processes. *Star*

The personification of the stone/flower was brilliant. It "dreamed", "did it bleed"!

*Fairy* Grammar/Punctuation:
The short lines and phrasings were coherent to me in spite of lack of punctuation. I often have written in such a way. I wonder if others find it as easy to know when to pause and catch your drift. I do think he way you place your lines do act as pauses and make comprehension accessible. I wonder if some well placed punctuation would add potency---the dramatic pause etc.

*Fairy* I admired your impressive expression!

Thanks for sharing your vision! *Starstruck* Write on!

eyestar
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947
947
Review of Law & Order  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
*Balloonp* HI Jenn! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you as this piece popped up on the random reads! *Delight*


Wow! I really liked the idea of having a past life episode. This looks like an assignment and I was fascinated by the questions you were asked to consider. It gave me an idea of how much is involved in building settings and story background.

I understood from this little episode that Jenn is Gwenn but both are there as you say Jenn with mercenaries is being trained to be as strong as Gwenn. Did I get that right? I was confused at first as in the first line you say she is Gwenn. *Confused*

I was not sure who "her" is in "her and Matrim".

You have a semi colon after "Lyra". If Lrya is the person who is the mage, you should have a comma instead. *Wink*

Oops! "thrown" is spelled "throne".

I felt the idea of Jenn coming back to learn magic to help does put her in danger with the law. So the prompt is well met to me. *Smile*

This has great ideas for a total story. I am not sure how to rate it as it is an assignment rather than a finished piece. I wonder if having the rating turned on here is even needed. I will go with average as I do think more detail would be interesting. *Wink* Thanks for sharing this vision. Good luck with the character building!

Light on the path as you write on!
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948
948
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hiya Maryann!
*Flowerw* This is a review from "WdC Kind Hearts"  *Flowerw*


*Fairy*I found this charming poem that I haven't reviewed yet! *Delight* It is so summery and light! I am practising a template. *Shock2* LOL

*Fairy*General Impression
The poem title appeals to me as I like the idea of some downtime dreaming! And Summer beach is a perfect place. You have captured the essence of the beach dream with vivid details and a very happy tone! The colour font adds to the heat and joy of the theme.

*Fairy* Conventions:
Wow! I have not written a sonnet and it can be a challenge. Your form is well constructed according to your convenient author's note and it has a potent joyful feeling summed up nicely in the end couplet!
Your word choices are so effective for the theme images and the sounds and sights of the beach. I can hear the various repeated letter and vowel sounds that add to the sense appeal and coherence of sound and sight. eg. "Small, swift waves surprise" and "Decorations of coral dot the sand" are wonderful. I enjoy the simple language so that all ages can enter the dream easily.

I did wonder if you could find a more vivid specific descriptor instead of "great" as that can mean so many things. Also the word "seem" ( I just learned) is vague. It might take some tweaking. I wanted to put the stress on the word "regal" and drop the weaker word "Some".
(if I can play with ya--I thought of "rise to belong" but then it kinda changes the idea. What else might work here--even if it meant changing "belong" --eek...then "song" would need to change. Ack! Such is a poet's tweak. LOL What actual sound does a gull make " a happy screech"--oh nice contrast. LOL not pleasant. Then "rise on the beach" would work.) "Regal sand castles rise up to belong." maybe. *Wink* It makes the sandcastles pop with out the word "some" and gives a regal feeling --that of course they belong!

Anyway, I do like the happy way you wrote it. Thanks for letting me play. *Heart*

Your rhyme scheme is consistent and uses true rhymes which assists the flow and easy pace.

*Fairy* Grammar/Punctuation:
The poem flows coherently and easy to understand. I think it works with the few commas you use. Your choice is consistent in not using it. *Smile*

*Fairy* Kudos:
I had fun entering this vision as it has such a happy vibe and vivid images that make me think you love the beach. You make it inviting and reading adds a lightness to my day! So, the sonnet as is one of its purposes, makes an emotional impact. and I like the joy! *Salute*

Thanks for sharing your vision! *Starstruck* Write on!

eyestar
Remember, this is only an Eyestar View! *Wink*
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949
949
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hiya hooves! Here is a second review for you gifted by Tiggy from her winning auction pack. *Delight*


I found a poem I have not reviewed yet! I was intrigued by the title and wow does its symbolism ever fit the theme of loss and the time of year.

*Fairy*General Impression
What a loving tribute to your mom. I like the charming picture of her in the pink of life. *Smile* I really enjoyed the way you describe her in the first verse, choosing her joyful, courageous quality. It sets the tone and reveals what will be missed the most and how encompassing a spirit she was. The blessing in the 3rd and 4th verses are moving and I recognize the bit of Irish inspiration here. The last verse sums it up with a hopeful positive manner. Lovely. *Smile*

*Fairy* Conventions:
I felt this was a free style poem as I could not determine a set structure. I noticed some rhyme scheme in the first verse and there is not really a consistent scheme. Where you do use rhyme, it adds to the flow and enhances the message of the lines. I especially like "cease" peace" as they mimic softness and quiet of the beyond, and "sky" "die" as I see the connection of the "i" with wider spaces.
Again it did not detract from the essence, tone and potent message of the work. The free verse so suits the emotional content and heartfelt tone. I was drawn into the inspirational philosophy and tribute.

*Fairy* Grammar and Punctuations:
The bits of punctuation were helpful to the read of longer lines and the lack of natural punctuation did not bother me. I did notice you used it in the last verse, so I wondered why it was not consistent throughout. It made me think of the emotional vibe--where details are not mattering in the scope of the event and at the end the finality is recognized with the strong punctuation. *Wink* Was is purposeful?

*Fairy* Emotional Impact
The poem strikes a chord of love, loss and yet hope. I loved when you said "May the road and DAD rise.." as it meant that she would meet up again with her love, in spite of leaving you all behind. Perhaps that gives comfort to the mourners too.*Thumbsup*

*Fairy* Kudos:
A really heart-warming good bye in honour of your mother. I imagine it was a good way to express your loss and what she meant to you. I would find it hard to put into words.*Star**Heart*

Thanks for sharing yourself and your mom. *Starstruck* Write on!

eyestar
Remember, this is only an Eyestar View! *Wink*
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*Flowerw* This is a review from "WdC Kind Hearts"  *Flowerw*



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950
950
Review of Morbid Attraction  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hiya hooves! I am so happy to do three reviews for you as a gift from Tiggy , who won my package in "Anniversary Review Auction"  She is passing it on to you. It is fun as I was going to review you as a celebration of your Quill Honourable Mention! *Wink*


I found this title fascinating especially for a comic parody. *Smile*

*Fairy*General Impression
I appreciated the dark overtones in the mystery of the face and the message that death comes to all. I really liked "final death..equal to the brave". So true. The theme of time is well summed in the last verse and I like how it mirrors the "face" in the first. The last line made me smile. The idea of the second line in the last verse is perfect.

*Fairy* Conventions:
Your syllabic verse is well constructed and was pleasant to read aloud. The verses are balanced and rhyme is true with a few variances like the "s" on "graves" *Wink* Your choices were thematic and interesting. I liked "quay", "heir", "countenance" and "wane". The soundscape with bits of alliteration and letter repetitions add to the flow effectively.

The imagery and personification is brilliant. The "screen", the inheritance, the sea, and the "drama..reeds" are vivid and interesting. I enjoyed the variety of ponderings in each verse.*Star* My fav was the owl and the "metamorphis light". Cool!

*Fairy* Grammar/Punctuation:
The punctuation really helped me read with meaning and flow, providing pause at logical places. I did wonder about the lack of periods or something at the end of some lines, as you are using natural punctuation. I wondered why not consistently do so.*Confused* Is it for some effect. eg. I felt a stop at "seen" in the first verse, and actually the second lines of each verse as well as after "light" and "quay". MM. Perhaps a pattern. It didn't detract from my read but did cause a puzzlement. *Smile*
I wondered if the "us and "me" in the second verse is referring to the same voice as in the first and last.

*Fairy* Emotional Impact
The poem caught my attention with the first verse. The voice sounded crazy and filled with its own importance. *Laugh* We can see why by the end. I did smile at the end even though the Morbid theme is dark. You really get the key point across with a bit of charm and light heart even as the philosophical truth is revealed.

*Fairy*Kudos:
I had fun reading and hearing the tone as I read. The expression is well conceived and delivered. I admire the form creation. It must have taken some time to get right to entertain us.

Thanks for sharing your entertaining vision! *Starstruck* Write on!

eyestar
Remember, this is only an Eyestar View! *Wink*
for "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 
Sig for blog/reveiws


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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