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Review of Silent Lucidity  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


*BalloonR**ConfettiP*HI S.Wynterborne! Happy One year Anniversary! I am here with a review to celebrate you! *Star*

Wow! This is a creepy episode. The line at the end really hit its mark. *Shock*

Your description of this man undergoing surgery is vivid and you draw us into his growing awareness naturally. The idea that he is aware is freaky.
I was puzzled when you said he couldn't recall after the incident--does that mean he pulls through? The ending evoked other possibilities.

The last paragraph gives a real sensate picture of this being with its creepy voice and scarey appearance. Yikes! I hope it is just a nightmare and he will wake up. Not a pleasant experience while in surgery. The title works !

You did a good job with the present tense though I noticed in the third verse it changed-- he couldn't begin, pain was exploding etc.

I couldn't help but read on to see what would happen and then you leave us hanging. *Shock* Good ploy!

Thanks for sharing your crafting and allowing me to enter the dream.

Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

eyestar
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1377
1377
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


*BalloonR**ConfettiP*HI Barnabas! Happy Anniversary! I am here with a review to celebrate you! *Star*

*Shock**Delight*Oh my gosh. I love tongue twisters and have fun helping children learn sounds by saying them. *Delight*The last one would appeal to them and me as I love chocolate.

These twisters are so entertaining and I so had a good time chomping them out speedily as I could. It is amazing how they all make sense! *Cool*
The vocabulary for ch words is interesting and I had to laugh expecially at the image of the first one! *Bigsmile* " a chiming chortle".
The word play and images are imaginative and evocative as gives us a chance to use our own imagination! "cheeky chompers"! *Laugh*

*Starstruck* It is evident you have brilliant skill in creating these comical expressions and presnt reader with a challenge speaking them aloud. *Thumbsup*
Thanks for sharing the fun .

Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

eyestar
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)
HI Kim, I see your rising star shining brightly and I offer my perspective on this crafting.*Star*


*Fire*I was drawn to the evocative title and enjoy aboriginal tales. You set the story up so vividly in the description of the home that I a felt I was snuggled there too listening by the fire in the furs! *Heart* Well done. You captured my imagination and interest. I couldn't wait to continue.

*Fire*Wow! This is such a delightful story that serves a lesson as well. it is crafted effectively and has the true feel and tone of a legend complete with the contest and reactionary drama. When you paused in the middle I felt like the children wanting to know the end. Good ploy to add tension.

*Fire*The storytelling voice was clear and it was eloquent to read aloud. The story came to life because of the careful detail and wonderful dialogue. I could hear the different voices. The character of the wise grandmother was authentic. The descriptions of the grandma, actions and setting were so clear and active. The rule for show , don't tell is very apparent! *Smile* I could really witness the scenes of the people, village, the owl's antics etc. *Delight*

*Moon* A few minor glitches that occurred to me:
In " Owl and Rabbit discussed this for a moment then agreed they would have a contest" I think you need the punctuation or "and" between "moment" and" then". Same with "The woman thought for a moment then addressed Owl".

*Moon*Too many "and"s in this --feels run on sentence. "She turned and walked slowly to the door and put on a worn hand-knit sweater and beckoned for us to follow her outside." *Wink* In "Owl became very angry and snatched " I wanted top put comma in place of the "and".

*Fire*The concept of the rabbit in the moon is inventive and works! Wow!

*Fire*I was surprised by the stew in the end and yet it all makes sense --natives honour all creatures with gratitude and everything is part of the cycle. wonderful teaching go for the children here. And us too! I like how you weaved it all so coherently.

*Starstruck*Amazing story crafting and a tribute to aboriginal heritage that was entertaining and heartwarming. Thanks for allowing me to enter the dream.

Keep dipping the quill into the muse's inkwell and scribe on!
It has been a privilege to read your work.

eyestar

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*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


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1379
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.0)
HI Gypsyrose, I see your rising star shining brightly and I offer my perspective on this crafting.*Star*


*Fairyr* I fell upon your children's folder as I too just began one, not that I am too prolific in adding to it. *Smile* I was charmed by your theme and title that rolled off the tongue and appealed to my imagination!

*Teddy*This is a delightful tale and I had fun following the little cub's adventrue with sticky gum. I am sure kids can even relate to it if they have had it on shoe or in hair. You chose a wonderful way of showing the "dangers" of tossing gum and ow it could effect nature's creatures. Most kids would not want to hurt them.

*Fairyr* The images were vivid and the tone of the conversation between the bears is natural. I could imagine the poor bear in its curiosity trying to shift the sticky stuff and just get more trouble with it in its fur.
I laughed at the bubble bursting though it wouldn't be funny to the bear. Kids have laughed naturally at such things and then help out after. *Laugh*! I could feel the shock of the bear. Big letters are emphatic.
I don' t know that the cub would have realised that sticky stuff is not fun--if out of his experience or if he hadn't been warned. He may have been warned about bees.

*Teddy* I enjoyed reading the verses though there are places where the rhythm is not even and some wordy lines but the rhyme was pleasing and the voice was consistent and wise.

*Fairyr* A few minor glitches to consider: only my POV that struck me as I read aloud.! *Wink*

In verse one I think you can drop the "And" in the last line as it seems redundant to me and throws of the flow.

You used two "but"s in the second verse. I would drop the first one as the line is jsut saying she found the gum in her natural adventruous way. The But can come later.

In verse 3 second line the second "she" is redundant.
In verse 4 you only need quotations at the beginnig of what mama said and at the end of the verse and she is speaking consequetively. *Wink*
Same in the next verse where the cub says everything. " at beginning and end only.

Verse 7 is awkward to read especially the second line. The"And" at the start of the last line is redundant as it feels run on with the next "and" in the line. I wanted to read "a bear might pass" in the second last verse as it flows better.

*Teddy* It is so effective to begin like a fable and end with the piece of wisdom that the tale illustrates. It is magical and meaningful and using the teddy bear idea is appealing as most kids love teddies! Also it teaches a little about bees and bears too.! and could lead to discussions on pollution and respecting nature in general. *Thumbsup*

*Starstruck* Thanks for sharing this imaginative and entertaining story poem. I know some children to share it with! Yay! Keep musing.

Keep dipping the quill into the muse's inkwell and scribe on!
It has been a privilege to read your work.

eyestar

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for entry "Compulsion to Write" 
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Fire* HI Lost Ghost! This review is the last part of your Solar Packagefrom "Invalid Item" ! It has been awhile since I visited this cool quilt! *Smile*

*Fire* I was compelled by the title to peek in here to the addict writer's mind! *Wink* This is tightly woven verse disclaiming all usual reasons to write and proclaim madness. LOL

*Fire*I had not heard of this form , so thanks for the link. The rhyme is well done and the punctuation really added to the flow of the read. I enjoyed the soundscape of the weave as well. The wording is fun and effective : like "mad like", "this neither is..".

*Fire*Reading aloud I felt felt akind of heavy pressure that compulsion brings. The images were vivid and varied.
I really liked the "status-tweets" idea! *Smile*

*Fire*This is well conceived and I imagine took time to get the form with its even syllabication. *Star*The message is clear and potent and one I think many can relate to. Muses have their own timing and when they come to call--no way to escape!

*Starstruck*Thanks for sharing your experience in such an eloquent expression.

eyestar
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1381
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Fairyr*Hi Carly. Congratulations on your enshrinement and Welcome to the Paper Tigers! *Bigsmile*

*Fairyr*I was lured to Blog City today as I cruised for a place to play and saw your Ramblings. I always liked that word as it speaks of freedom and lack of structure and conformity. Allowing expression that freedom appales to me.

*Fairyr*I so admire your ability to blog everyday and even do several blog prompts! Yikes. I give it a go once in awhile but, alas, inconsistent so I rally marvel at others. I enjoyed reading your variety of entries etched with personal style and sincerity.

*Fairyr*Your entry pages are well organized and aesthestically appealing and easy to read. Daily prompt topics are higlighted and I like how you delineate each to stand out from each other. The simple decor carries through on each page adding to coherent look. *Smile*

*Fairyr*I admire the vulnerabilty of your voice and the detail you use to make your comments interesting. I learned alot about you, fellow canadian!! I liked the Acrostic of WDC and the list of cool things you like to do on your own. Your alphabet story is inventive and fun.

*Fairyr* Your opening intro could have some colour maybe for flair! Your intro line is brief and speaks of your intent effectively! I like the contrast of "forge" with the "rambling".
I notice one of your image links is not showing up. *Wink* wrong bracket! I do that a lot!!

*Starstruck*Thanks for sharing this well written personal expression. It rocks! Carry on rambling! *Quill*

eyestar
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1382
Review of Existing Today  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloony* HI Kings. *Delight* I am happy to review to celebrate you from the Random Reviews. *Bookopen*

*Music1* Wow! I wish I could hear the music for this song! The title is evocative and sets the tone. I am not sure it would have a magnetic appeal. I love the Tag at the end that sums up the message.

*Music2* The theme is a good one for a love song. I read it laound and the near rhymes work and there is a rhythm that is solid. I did find the last line in first verse a bit longer to sing that the rest. The music and the way you sing it may make it work. The metaphor in that line is brilliant! "fade out"!

*Music1*I can feel the sad lament of the lyric and the contrast between when the speaker had love and then lost it. *Thumbsup*

*Starstruck*Thanks for sharing this cool expression.

Keep the ink flowing as you follow your muse and write on!*Star*
eyestar
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1383
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Fire* Hi stevie! This review is part of yourNuclear Packagefrom "Invalid Item" .*Smile*

*Fairyl*Brilliant story weaving with an totally unexpected twist. You had me thinking all sorts of things, like bombings and living in a war zone and had me feeling for this speaker. Well done! whew! *Thumbsup*

*Fairyl*I was drawn right into the story from the start and couldn't stop reading. The story wove coherently with intensity and drama with vivid descriptions and plot line that evoked personal involvement. You did an effective job of slowly unraveling the character and leading to the release of tension. And I felt relief with the character. Then I say :Aww! "

*Fairyl* I didn't notice any major glitches though some commas may be missing. Vocabulary was well chosen and scenes were detailed to give a sense of reality. The narrative voice was consistent and believable.

*Starstruck* As a reader I found this piece to be truly entertaining and the illusional tricksy including the evocative title was well done to camoflage. I loved the perspective of the character , which I won't give away here.. Cleverly renedered. *Star*

Keep doing what you do. it really works! *Cool*

eyestar
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1384
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
HI passionate! Welcome to WDC! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you!*Balloong*

*Fairyr*I was drawn to the title on the Read A Newbie page and it appealed to my imagination. *Smile*

*Fairyl*What a delightful read and full of positive advice and enthusiastic energy that suits the young and young at heart.
The images were vivid and the rhyme rocked! I like the style and pattern of your lines. Remind me of a see saw--eg this and then that. Clever! *Cool*

*Fairyl* I noticed that "its" needs to be "it's" if you mean "it is" as in "it's time " "it's your age" *Wink*
I wondered if "be at your toes" meant "be on your toes"?

*Fairyr*The free verse suits the emotional content of the exhoration vibe and the sports metaphor is brilliant for the message.
Lines 7 and 8 flowed longer than the rest. In line 8 did you mena "hurdles of the race". You could just say "Leap hurdles..race" without the words "over" to shorten in up. Maybe. *Smile*

*Starstruck* The poem is inspiring and encouraging as well w as wise. Thanks for sharing your fits crafting. It rocks! *Star*

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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Review of Earth Witch  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Fire* HI stevie! This review is part of your Nuclear Packagefrom "Invalid Item" ! *Fire*

*Fairyr*Wow! I so enjoy mystical/mythological earth magics. This poem is amazing and captures my imagination as it brings me right into the forest! The atmosphere you create is potent. I loved it.

The images are vivid and the weaving rolls off my tongue with ease. I loved the "creeping root", and "there rooted in stone and seed".

*Fairyr*It has the feel of the ancient wise tomes and your description of the earth witch is a real tribute to here essence.

*Fairyr*Gosh, your 13 year old self was a natural with this material. I would not touch a thing here. Let her rule. *Starstruck* Well worth the recognition by publishers.

*Fairyr*Thanks for including this excellent piece in your port. A lovely tribute to an earlier self to inpsire you as you write on! *Star*

eyestar
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Review of Green Leaf  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*BalloonP*Hi candy-happy! I am partying in with a review for you! I was drawn to this title on the Poetry page. It appealed to my imagination and I thought of elves. LOL

*Fairyr*The image you paint hre is vivid and Ilike the idea of speaking to the leaf on its journey downstream. The metaphor for life is clear as well.
It was lovely to ponder with you.

*Fairyr*ILike how you focus on the revery of the leaf in verse one and then in verse two reveal the more personal situation of why the leaf is important. From the philosophical to the personal emotional view. I wondred if that is why the rhyme scheme was different. It really fits with the saraband form ! *Wink*

*Fairyr*in line two verse 2 I notice a glitch: "man who have tried". should it be "man who has tried" or did you mean "men who have tried"? *Confused* also line 5 in verse two confused me. If it said "we'll never dare" it would make sense to me--but I am not sure.
I thought "moved us" was awkward--I see you need to make it 8 syllables though. the weakest line I think..

*Fairyr*I am not too familiar with the sarband form but I did look it up and feel it follows the pattern accurately. I admire you for being able to get your visioin into a format. Well done! *Star*

*Starstruck*Thank you so much for sharing this poem with its emotional impact. I liked the symbolism of the leaf and "beyond the bend".
Keep crafting on!

eyestar
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Review of Light and Dark  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Fairyr* Hi celeste. I am here to celebrate you and WDC birthday Bash! Hope you are having fun! *Balloonp* I so admire your facility with japanese form. It is so away to think. *Smile* I still find it a challenge to do but love to read and ponder them.

*Fairyr*This is a vivid image and I so relate to it. Bugs, especially mosquitos are my nemesis outdoors! I appreciate the metaphor here.

*Fairyr*It was pleasing to read it aloud too as the vocab had similar sounds. I cna imagine the swarm and the idea that light attracts the dark. It makes me think of fhow helaers and folks of higher consciousness draw the opposite--as if they see the light and want it though may need to fight it as well. Way showers.

I did wonder about the idea of dark vs good as I think "dark" can be the creative void as well. Got me thinking.*Thumbsup*

*Fairyr*I wondered about the captials and full sentence form as traditional haiku uses phrasings. I am learning there are so many renditions of the form now, difficult to comment on. LOL Frees up expression. *Smile*

*Starstruck*Thanks for sharing your craft and continuing to inspire the writing of this form.


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Review of Whispering Stars  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Fire* Hi angels in my ears! This review is the last part of yourSolar Packagefrom "Invalid Item" . *Fire* Enjoy!

*Delight*I have so enjoyed my visit to your port and your variety of poetic expressions. I couldn't resist this one as I like stars and the title is magical is scope. *Fairyl*

*Partyhatv* I was drawn right into your vision of the stars and their pull, where there seen or unseen. Your observations are vivid and I could feel the undertone of wishing. I like the idea that your see them as guardians of sorts. I was inspired to think of them as muses, gateways to the unknown places in our being. as though they can call us to our real selves, especially in the night sky.

*Partyhatr*I wonder what phase of the moon it is is. It can be hard to see stars clearly on full moon nights. *Smile*

*Partyhaty*The free form style is suitable for this kind of dreaming flow of consciousness and I like the repeated phrase like an underlying echo filtering through the whole day. It felt sad with "gleam is lost" *Sad* Good line. And I like "mark the trail" too.
The poem has a coherent storyline{evenas apoem it reads a bit like story) and palpable atmosphere. *Thumbsup*

*Starstruck*I am so happy I found this poem as it inspires me and I want to go and listen to the stars whisper to me. It takes listening. *Wink*
Thanks for sharing your starry tribute.


eyestar
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Review of Empyrean Promise  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Fire* Hi angels in my ears! This review is part of yourSolar Packagefrom "Invalid Item" . *Fire* Enjoy!

*Delight* The uniquely worded title caught my eye and stirred my curiosity! I would have had to check its meaning to be sure so thanks for the convenient definition in author's notes. *Smile*

*Partyhatv*The sonnet form is fairly well composed and exudes an aura of peace and hope. The theme suits the form too as it raises the signifiacance of the message. The images are vivid and language evokes the heavenly topic.

*Partyhatr*From the notes, if I understand them, the lines are to 8 syllables. I noticed that several of yours are not: line 7, 10, and 13 have less.*Smile* Line three I am not sure -it depends on how you say "celestial" I did want to remove the word "your" and just keep "love" as not owned.
I amnot so good with form poems so take what fits and dump the rest. *Wink*
I noted too that you used "supernal" twice and I wondered about all the "ness" words so close together. It felt heavy but perhaps intended.

*Starstruck*The lovely sonnet expresses a wonderful message of faith and is inspirational in tone and concept. Well done!
Keep on writing. *Quill*


eyestar
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Review of I am an Echo  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Fire* Hi angels in my ears! This review is part of yourSolar Packagefrom "Invalid Item" . *Fire* Enjoy!

*Delight*I was drawn to the evocative title that inspired me to ponder. I am intrigued by this idea. Good choice of title for the theme.

*Partyhatv*Wow! This is a moving heartfelt expression, like a song. The feelings and notions you display are vivid and so create the atmosphere of a hollow space where one is not seen for who they be, yet is hopeful.

*Partyhatr*I can so identify with the idea of portraying a mask when one is aware of how different one is and is not recognized. It is like one is searching for one's people! People who resonate a happier and similar vibe.

*Partyhaty* I enjoyed reading the free rendering. It did not seem to have a pattern yet the message and emotional content was potent and the style suited the theme and purpose. I like the refrain that you repeat in each verse.

*Partyhatr*It occurs to me that an echo can be either positve or negative. Sometimes the echo can be the key to awakening of another's vision.

*Starstruck*This "echo" just rocks and I hear ya! *Smile* Keep on writing and shine as the *Star* you are.


eyestar
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Review of Sleep  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Delight*Welcome to WDC Betina! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Cakep* I had to check out more of your senryu! *Delight*

*Fire*Oh I really like the evocative poem with its inherent and potent wisdom. The middle line gets attention and gives us pause to consider. Then the last line seals the idea. Good contrast of "sleep" with "life". We can have peace when we die. LOL

*Fairyl*Again you have me entering in to the dream with my perspective. Clever. This poem felt stronger than Your "autumn".

*Violin*I wonder about the capital letters. *Wink*

*Star*Thanks for sharing another renedeirng in senryu form. I enjoyed it.

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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Review of Autumn  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloonp*Welcome to WDC Betina! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Cake3*

*Partyhaty*Oh, I enjoy reading japanese forms so I was happy to find this title on the Read A Newbie page. *Delight*

*Partyhatg*I can visualize thesenryu moment in autumn and I like the definition of "happiness"!

*Partyhatr*I know senryu is like haiku in form and you have the lines and syllables and the human aspect. *Thumbsup* I think you can drop the captial letters and ideally the form could be less sentence like. I find it a challenge to create and am still learning.

*Starstruck*This is a delightful image and I dream of the children swinging as leaves fall and jumping in leaves and the joy of just being. In this way your senryu fulfills the essence of involving the reader in the dream. *Smile* Thanks for writing in this complex form.

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Delight*Welcome to WDC ellenp! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Cakep*

*Partyhatr*Wow! This title caught my eye on the Read a Newbie page and I saw it as a timely piece. What a great tribute to an icon. *Smile*

*Partyhaty*The article outlines the main points of Joan's career after a brief opeining line about her passing. It has the tone of a news feature and I learned some things I didn't know. Cool!

*Partyhatg* The writing is "newslike" to the point and objective. *Thumbsup* Show names and titles are in italics for emphasis.

*Partyhatv*I wondered if she had appeared in any feature movies-or just as cameos. She certainly was a unique one-of-a-kind icon.

*Starstruck*Thanks for sharing this brief informative piece as a way of celebrating her life. I was happy to read it.

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.0)
*Balloonp*Welcome to WDC morning dove! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Cakep* I found this endearing little title on the Read A newbie page and it appealed to me. *Delight*

*Partyhatr*This feels like a story starter and it shows your care for animals like squirrels. Calling them "kids" is cool way to say we are all connected.

*Partyhatb* I think you have a typo in the first line: "of" should be "or". *Wink* "squirles" is spelled "squirrels".

*Partyhaty* The title and tag line oare potent and I would like to hear more of your ideas in a story. This feels unfinished. *Sad* there is no period at the end so I am assuming there is more---*Confused* I would like to hear more of or reasoning.

*Starstruck* Good start with your kind attitude toward these creatures. Hope it continues.

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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Review of Seeking Silence  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Welcome to WDC Petrichor! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you and the WDC 14th birthday!*Balloonp*! I hop eyouare joining in the party!

*Partyhatg*I found this alliterative title on the Read A Newbie page! Silence and stillnes could really benefit everyone and the planet--we need to grow in awreness. I was happy to see this piece tributing the idea.

*Partyhatr*I really enjoyed how you show how this silence exist beyond the physical senses. I really smiled at the truth "with unblocked Qi". Yes!

*Partyhaty*The frees style suits the theme and flows quite well with regular rhyme. One awkward line that broke the flow was line 2 in verse two.
Maybe Take out "they are" and replace with a comma. The last verse has a different flow with more syllables per line and carries the vital advice.
I felt "must" was a bit strong like an order rather than an invitation yet perhpas that is the intent.

Try to create consistency in verses--eg cut out some uneeded words --my poor rendering.
"mind in trepidation
yet to counter doubt
we can seek Meditation"
Just an idea of what I mean.*Wink*

*Fire*The poem has a strong teaching as it stands and I really enjoyed reading it with its calming vibe. Thanks for sharing your wisdom and your crafting! Keep on shining as the *Star* you are.

And thanks for letting me but in and play with your awesome words!

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
1396
1396
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Welcome to WDC Dracomurex! Cool handle! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you at our WDC 14th birthday party! *Balloonp*

*Partyhatg*I found this title with its fascinating theme on the Read a Newbie Page! The image in the title was appealing to me and made me curious so here I am!

*Partyhatr**Shock* It is incredible how you wove all of these cliches into this free style poem that makes sense in a nonsensical way. *Cool*

*Partyhaty* It was interesting to read and the flow in places was easier than in others. The first part flows most naturally. It fels like it could use less punctuation to leave us to our own "interp! > *Smile*

*Partyhato*I was confused by some of your punctuation choices especially when you have periods in the middleof cliched phrases to break them up. I wasn't sure about the question mark?*Confused*
g like the comma after "upon", period after "fly" and "slipped" and "butterflies". I owndered about "makes me stronger butterflies"--maybe a comma after "stronger" would make more sense.
ah , just my POV and youas author know your whole intent and effect.

*Starstruck*I enjoyed the imagery nd the brilliant creative thinking in this expression. I had fun. Thanks for sharing your unique flair!
Keep on shining.
Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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Hey come an join the party! "Writing.Com Party Central 2023!" 
and join me in:"WDC 14th Birthday Sr. Mod. Challenge" . Something for everyone.


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1397
1397
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*Balloonp*HI Dave! I am celebrating you and WDC's 14th Birthday with a review of your blog. *Smile**Cakep* I found it down on the Blog pages! It's french title and concept appealed to me. LOL My dad was French Canadian! I liked the idea of the joy and energy vibe of the title!

*Partyhaty*Happily I open the page and there is your simple yet magnetic opening picture and simple title, which sets your intent and evokes my imagination as to what I might find inside. I love the open ended ness of the objective. *Checkr*

*Balloonp*Behold within I find he colourful fonts and elegant layouts of myriads of poetic expressions! I am overjoyed and impressed as I love poetry and my first blog here has a simlar bent. *Wink* I enjoyed reading your weavings very much. Cool idea to link to the pictures for folks to check out.

~The Oak Tree is spectacular.
~"hummingbirds mock the power of words" is brilliant. I held a humming bird once and indeed--hard to describe. I did try in a poem in my port as well. LOL
~I had to laugh at Me and jasper! *Laugh*
~Nordic poetry is fascinating
~Diagnosis Bigorty is Wow~!

You have a great gift for expressing your ideas, thoughts comments in poetic language. I admire your craft. Each piece reveals spark of life and illuminates some of your interests and observations. as befits a blog. *Wink*

I found this expressive work very inspiring and entertaining too. I am prompted to go back to my own poetic blog and get to work..er..play! *Star*

*Star*Thanks for shining as the *Star* you are with this magnificent log. Oh yeah it is peach time --I like your twists with your peach pieces on this page. yummy buckets! I had fun and am so glad I found this.*Delight*

eyestar


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1398
1398
Review of Simply a Book  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Welcome to WDC Carole Rae!! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Balloonp*

*Partyhatg*I just love old books and your title caught my attention from the Read A Newbie page. The evocative idea of "simply" a book is awesome and made me think it means more than just that. I thought of all the ways a book can be meaningful.

*Partyhatg* I was not disappointed!! This poem is so heartfelt and really showed the impact of that book and the connection with your grandfather with potency. The images are so vivid and real I could enter into the experience. *Thumbsup* Brilliant!

*Partyhatr*The poem is free style, which suits the theme and emotional content and I felt the drama in it in the way you had short lines and line breaks. Punctuation assisted the read in a meaningful way as well.

*Partyhato*a few ideas you might consider:
~~I read that one doesn't need too many ands as joiners in poetry as it is a bit weak and takes the potency from more vital words.
so see how it flows if you take out the "and" before "slightly torn" and before "No longer soft". you could use commas for pause. I just found that you have quite a few "ands" beginning lines. Just a POV!

~~I am not sure you need to say "which smells " after the line about cologne as we will get the connection without the wordiness. Just "like the forest in spring.." will suffice. Yet perhaps you want the emphasis.

*Partyhatp*I loved the word "cracks" and the metaphor of winter and the combination or "ages And dust" the "and" works here well. *Wink* Your description of the book as you treasure it is sensual and lends reality to the memory.

*Starstruck*I am truly moved by this expression--timeless and a wonderful tribute to grandfather and literature as well. It rocks!!
Thank you so much for sharing your gift. It made my day! I recall many happy times with my grandpere--not over books but he played solitaire and made fudge and told stories of his old lumberjack days and made the best homemade bread!

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar

Join in the WDC Party fun.! Try out "WDC 14th Birthday Sr. Mod. Challenge" ! *Wink*

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1399
1399
Review of Three winds  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloonb* Welcome to WDC Dan! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Balloonp*

*Partyhatr*I love haiku and so it is my pleasure to discover your fine creations. The title is evocative and appeals to me.

*Partyhatg*The imagery in your verses is vivid as you show three differing elemental winds. I could hear the geese and it is so cool how you don't say in the the cry is from geese--so we can imagine any flying creatures on the autumn wind. I loved the idea of the last line in verse three--"cup the dusk" .Brilliant.

*Partyhato*I would sumise that theseare modern form haiku as they do not follow the traditonal formats yet the nature theme, evocative twists and allowing for readers to enter from differeing perspectives is quite evident.! Good show! *Thumbsup*

*Partyhaty*I notice the secodn verse has 4 lines which is off balance for the 3 line verse from chain. I felt this one was the weakest of the the three as it seems to be a sentence without a clear turning point. *Smile*

*Starstruck*I really enjoyed entering into your windy world and thank you for honouring the Haiku form. You might like "Haiku and Senryu: A Contest and More...."  and the next round of "Haiku Hunt Contest"  when it opens. *Smile*

Light on the path as you write on!

Hey, join the party and play: "WDC 14th Birthday Sr. Mod. Challenge" ! *Wink*

eyestar
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"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
1400
1400
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Balloonr* Happy Day Leger!

*Partyhatb*This Challenge absolutey rocks! With 4 levels it is doable for everyone, even those who are super busy--offering them chance to earn a ticket for big prizes and smaller ones!
*Star*Brilliant and unique concept!

*Partyhatr*The challenges serve to expand horizons as they include some specific areas like reviewing a blog, or a form poem,{some folks shy from these ) *Wink* notebook entry or even an interactive. Great ideas to inspire new learning for new folks too. Good incentive to give it a go.

*Partyhatp* The page is appealing in lay out and the intent and directions are clear. I like the unique banner. *Delight* The time frame is manageable too.

*Partyhatg*The idea of meeting folks and inspiring newbies is so a major part of WDC spirit too. This is truly a Fun for ALL activity from generous hearts!

*Starstruck* Thanks Sr. Mods! You rock!
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