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The Storm from Atlantis

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What will I receive for my birthday

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READ A NEWBIE

Who am i

This is a exploration of identity, self-perception and human condition.

this is my name Carlo

put more into my name maybe better said then done ego trippin overload donkey honkey monke

ACCELERATOR, BRAKE, AND CLUTCH

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Rain

Rain will not stop me.

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Pennywise

A Rondeau horror poem

First They Came... (2025)

A rewording of the famous quote by Pastor Martin Niemöller reflecting present day 2nd POV

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#4035775

Review of Sleep

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Welcome to WDC Betina! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! I had to check out more of your senryu!

Oh I really like the evocative poem with its inherent and potent wisdom. The middle line gets attention and gives us pause to consider. Then the last line seals the idea. Good contrast of "sleep" with "life". We can have peace when we die. LOL

Again you have me entering in to the dream with my perspective. Clever. This poem felt stronger than Your "autumn".

I wonder about the capital letters.

Thanks for sharing another renedeirng in senryu form. I enjoyed it.

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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#4035770

Review of Autumn

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Welcome to WDC Betina! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you!

Oh, I enjoy reading japanese forms so I was happy to find this title on the Read A Newbie page.

I can visualize thesenryu moment in autumn and I like the definition of "happiness"!

I know senryu is like haiku in form and you have the lines and syllables and the human aspect. I think you can drop the captial letters and ideally the form could be less sentence like. I find it a challenge to create and am still learning.

This is a delightful image and I dream of the children swinging as leaves fall and jumping in leaves and the joy of just being. In this way your senryu fulfills the essence of involving the reader in the dream. Thanks for writing in this complex form.

Light on the path as you write on!
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#4035763

Review of Joan Rivers Dead At 81

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Welcome to WDC ellenp! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you!

Wow! This title caught my eye on the Read a Newbie page and I saw it as a timely piece. What a great tribute to an icon.

The article outlines the main points of Joan's career after a brief opeining line about her passing. It has the tone of a news feature and I learned some things I didn't know. Cool!

The writing is "newslike" to the point and objective. Show names and titles are in italics for emphasis.

I wondered if she had appeared in any feature movies-or just as cameos. She certainly was a unique one-of-a-kind icon.

Thanks for sharing this brief informative piece as a way of celebrating her life. I was happy to read it.

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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#4035753

Review of Take Shelter Little Squirels

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (3.0)

Welcome to WDC morning dove! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! I found this endearing little title on the Read A newbie page and it appealed to me.

This feels like a story starter and it shows your care for animals like squirrels. Calling them "kids" is cool way to say we are all connected.

I think you have a typo in the first line: "of" should be "or". "squirles" is spelled "squirrels".

The title and tag line oare potent and I would like to hear more of your ideas in a story. This feels unfinished. there is no period at the end so I am assuming there is more--- I would like to hear more of or reasoning.

Good start with your kind attitude toward these creatures. Hope it continues.

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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#4035016

Review of Seeking Silence

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (3.5)

Welcome to WDC Petrichor! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you and the WDC 14th birthday!! I hop eyouare joining in the party!

I found this alliterative title on the Read A Newbie page! Silence and stillnes could really benefit everyone and the planet--we need to grow in awreness. I was happy to see this piece tributing the idea.

I really enjoyed how you show how this silence exist beyond the physical senses. I really smiled at the truth "with unblocked Qi". Yes!

The frees style suits the theme and flows quite well with regular rhyme. One awkward line that broke the flow was line 2 in verse two.
Maybe Take out "they are" and replace with a comma. The last verse has a different flow with more syllables per line and carries the vital advice.
I felt "must" was a bit strong like an order rather than an invitation yet perhpas that is the intent.

Try to create consistency in verses--eg cut out some uneeded words --my poor rendering.
"mind in trepidation
yet to counter doubt
we can seek Meditation"
Just an idea of what I mean.

The poem has a strong teaching as it stands and I really enjoyed reading it with its calming vibe. Thanks for sharing your wisdom and your crafting! Keep on shining as the you are.

And thanks for letting me but in and play with your awesome words!

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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#4034505

Review of The Basket of Lonely Clichés

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Welcome to WDC Dracomurex! Cool handle! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you at our WDC 14th birthday party!

I found this title with its fascinating theme on the Read a Newbie Page! The image in the title was appealing to me and made me curious so here I am!

It is incredible how you wove all of these cliches into this free style poem that makes sense in a nonsensical way.

It was interesting to read and the flow in places was easier than in others. The first part flows most naturally. It fels like it could use less punctuation to leave us to our own "interp! >

I was confused by some of your punctuation choices especially when you have periods in the middleof cliched phrases to break them up. I wasn't sure about the question mark?
g like the comma after "upon", period after "fly" and "slipped" and "butterflies". I owndered about "makes me stronger butterflies"--maybe a comma after "stronger" would make more sense.
ah , just my POV and youas author know your whole intent and effect.

I enjoyed the imagery nd the brilliant creative thinking in this expression. I had fun. Thanks for sharing your unique flair!
Keep on shining.
Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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and join me in:"WDC 14th Birthday Sr. Mod. Challenge" . Something for everyone.

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#4034180

Review of Le Voyage Magnifique

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 18+

| (5.0)

HI Dave! I am celebrating you and WDC's 14th Birthday with a review of your blog. I found it down on the Blog pages! It's french title and concept appealed to me. LOL My dad was French Canadian! I liked the idea of the joy and energy vibe of the title!

Happily I open the page and there is your simple yet magnetic opening picture and simple title, which sets your intent and evokes my imagination as to what I might find inside. I love the open ended ness of the objective.

Behold within I find he colourful fonts and elegant layouts of myriads of poetic expressions! I am overjoyed and impressed as I love poetry and my first blog here has a simlar bent. I enjoyed reading your weavings very much. Cool idea to link to the pictures for folks to check out.

~The Oak Tree is spectacular.
~"hummingbirds mock the power of words" is brilliant. I held a humming bird once and indeed--hard to describe. I did try in a poem in my port as well. LOL
~I had to laugh at Me and jasper!
~Nordic poetry is fascinating
~Diagnosis Bigorty is Wow~!

You have a great gift for expressing your ideas, thoughts comments in poetic language. I admire your craft. Each piece reveals spark of life and illuminates some of your interests and observations. as befits a blog.

I found this expressive work very inspiring and entertaining too. I am prompted to go back to my own poetic blog and get to work..er..play!

Thanks for shining as the you are with this magnificent log. Oh yeah it is peach time --I like your twists with your peach pieces on this page. yummy buckets! I had fun and am so glad I found this.

eyestar

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#4034150

Review of Simply a Book

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Welcome to WDC Carole Rae!! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you!

I just love old books and your title caught my attention from the Read A Newbie page. The evocative idea of "simply" a book is awesome and made me think it means more than just that. I thought of all the ways a book can be meaningful.

I was not disappointed!! This poem is so heartfelt and really showed the impact of that book and the connection with your grandfather with potency. The images are so vivid and real I could enter into the experience. Brilliant!

The poem is free style, which suits the theme and emotional content and I felt the drama in it in the way you had short lines and line breaks. Punctuation assisted the read in a meaningful way as well.

a few ideas you might consider:
~~I read that one doesn't need too many ands as joiners in poetry as it is a bit weak and takes the potency from more vital words.
so see how it flows if you take out the "and" before "slightly torn" and before "No longer soft". you could use commas for pause. I just found that you have quite a few "ands" beginning lines. Just a POV!

~~I am not sure you need to say "which smells " after the line about cologne as we will get the connection without the wordiness. Just "like the forest in spring.." will suffice. Yet perhaps you want the emphasis.

I loved the word "cracks" and the metaphor of winter and the combination or "ages And dust" the "and" works here well. Your description of the book as you treasure it is sensual and lends reality to the memory.

I am truly moved by this expression--timeless and a wonderful tribute to grandfather and literature as well. It rocks!!
Thank you so much for sharing your gift. It made my day! I recall many happy times with my grandpere--not over books but he played solitaire and made fudge and told stories of his old lumberjack days and made the best homemade bread!

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar

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#4033963

Review of Three winds

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Welcome to WDC Dan! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you!

I love haiku and so it is my pleasure to discover your fine creations. The title is evocative and appeals to me.

The imagery in your verses is vivid as you show three differing elemental winds. I could hear the geese and it is so cool how you don't say in the the cry is from geese--so we can imagine any flying creatures on the autumn wind. I loved the idea of the last line in verse three--"cup the dusk" .Brilliant.

I would sumise that theseare modern form haiku as they do not follow the traditonal formats yet the nature theme, evocative twists and allowing for readers to enter from differeing perspectives is quite evident.! Good show!

I notice the secodn verse has 4 lines which is off balance for the 3 line verse from chain. I felt this one was the weakest of the the three as it seems to be a sentence without a clear turning point.

I really enjoyed entering into your windy world and thank you for honouring the Haiku form. You might like "Haiku and Senryu: A Contest and More...." and the next round of "Haiku Hunt Contest" when it opens.

Light on the path as you write on!

Hey, join the party and play: "WDC 14th Birthday Sr. Mod. Challenge" !

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#4033701

Review of WDC 14th Birthday Sr. Mod. Challenge

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Happy Day Leger!

This Challenge absolutey rocks! With 4 levels it is doable for everyone, even those who are super busy--offering them chance to earn a ticket for big prizes and smaller ones!
Brilliant and unique concept!

The challenges serve to expand horizons as they include some specific areas like reviewing a blog, or a form poem,{some folks shy from these ) notebook entry or even an interactive. Great ideas to inspire new learning for new folks too. Good incentive to give it a go.

The page is appealing in lay out and the intent and directions are clear. I like the unique banner. The time frame is manageable too.

The idea of meeting folks and inspiring newbies is so a major part of WDC spirit too. This is truly a Fun for ALL activity from generous hearts!

Thanks Sr. Mods! You rock!

eyestar

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#4033684

Review of My Shadow's Design

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi Angels in my ears!
This review is part of your double Solar Packagefrom "Invalid Item" !

The title of this piece appealed as it is an intriguing idea. Good choice to rouse curiosity.

I really enjoyed reading it aloud for its flow and pace and was drawn right into the relationship with your shadow. The first two verse especially describe and personify the shadow and I found myself skipping along . I was reminded of the old sing song poem "I have a little shadow, who goes in and out with me."
Takes me back to child hood! LOL
The idea of envy is interesting too.

The third verse turns more dramatic and focuses on self in illness and leads to the rather sad ending.
You really did the contrast well .
I like how at the end The body in illness has become like a whisper you mention at the beginning. Nice circle.

Little tweaks: I notice you used "and" twice in one verse.
I have read that using "too many "and"'s in poem is not very strong.

I felt the work was well constructed and flowed well with good rhyme and word choices.
I didn't note a specific format and it had a pleasing rhythm.

The message is profound and the mood resounds potently. Thanks for sharing this well conceived poem..
It gave me much to ponder.

*starstuck*Keep on writing.
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#4028450

Review of Apollo's Lament

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.0)

HI angels in my Ear. This review is part of yourSolar Packagefrom "Invalid Item"

I enjoy mythology so I was drawn to your title, which suits the theme and Apollo's romantic soul!

The poem is freestyle and has a feel of a story in its line structure. The vivid detail sparks the imagination and evokes the sadness of tormented love-crossed by stars so to speak. Good old control freak Zeus.!

It is a creative description of the sky--if the picture prompted the work.

You have portrayed the gods, staying true to the myth.

I wondered in "glimpse at" needs to be "glimpse of". I have not heard it with "at" so it threw me off a bit..
I wonder if you need "but" in the last verse. It takes potency from the sad flowing idea of his tears falling. Also I would try not to use too many "and" as joiners in poetry. I read that it is a weak flaw.

I absolutely love the archetypical ending--so romantic and dramatic and effective as part of a mythical tragedy. Lovely!

Thanks for sharing your litttle tribute to Apollo and his love.

eyestar

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#4027295

Review of The Weathered Pages

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Congrats Angels in My Ear!! You're receiving a gift from "Invalid Item"

! The TWO Solar Packages have been ordered for you from: Anonymous and includes 10 poetry reviews !! Enjoy!

I was drawn to the title that evoked the idea of old diaries, books, memoires, historical things! I like history. It really summed up your poem too.

The weaving of words evoked the almost sad, wistful atmsophere and paid tribute to these forgotten tomes in a vivid manner. I could eaily imagine the pages and appreciated the ways you describe them and their purposes. eg. "keepers of time", "echoes". The idea of the "cage", "imprisoned letters" and "silent voices on faded page" were really appealing. Brilliant!

The Quatern form suited the theme as its repetition served to echo the main image as memory echoes through time.
It was well composed and follows the format. Thanks for the convenient link.

I enjoyed reading the verse aloud and the lines flowed well with consistent rhyme. Good job with "history" and "misery" an off rhyme but totally makes sense. Awesome job with the syllabication!

I like the bit or personification as the pages long to be touched and cry joy and misery. It is so right on how they can call to those who can hear. The idea they have nothing to say is evocative as well. Interesting.

Thank you for sharing this marvelous poem which accurately portrays these aging manuscripts--or indeed, any! One feels the echo and pull to find some old pieces and dig in!

Keep on weaving your webs!

eyestar

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#4026197

Review of Georgia Smiles

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)

HI Carol. Here I am again with a last review as part of yourNuclear Packagefrom "Invalid Item"

Oh I love acrostics and this one has so sweet and delightful a theme--a child! Your bring her sense of wonder and glee to life in your descriptive expression. Putting it all into this form took effort and thought. It is very well conceived and a pleasure to read!

Punctuation assisted the read and your line connections were well woven. I appreciated vocabulary like "sacred cadence", "celestial treasure" which adds to the special gift that she is to you. The comparison of those lofty and natural discoveries in the second verse to the heavier words like "preparations" , 'completions" etc. is effective.

I could see taking out the word "her" in line 5 as we know it would be her eyes. It feel redundant in the poetic flow.

You really capture the wodner fo natue in teh last verse--the sacred in it and newness through a child's eyes. It is a reminder of how we could learn from this and see the world anew each day as if we were the first to see..

Thank you for sharing this personal expression. I so loved its warm energy and imagery. Impressive creation! Keen observations.

eyestar

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#4024618

Review of The "Gold"-en Years

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi Huntersmoon! Thanks for sharing your humour! I am reviewing on behalf of "The Humorous Poetry Contest" as guest judge.

Wow! This poem has such a profound commentary and one has to smile at the images you use like "carrion" "Mining" and "burlesque! Well conceived expression. The metaphors are imaginative and illustrate your point of view vividly.

You have woven the serious subject matter in a humourous way. And it is a sad case of affairs.
The poem was pleasant to read with its lovely rhyme. I really like the second line with the "naught"!
I "m not sure there is a definite rhythm scheme but I was not thrown out of the flow the way I sang it. LIke a comedy routine.

The title is refelctive of the theme and I like the play on word "gold". Wow!

Thanks for sharing yet another social commentary in a brilliant manner. Fun way to let the frustration out and see the truth of the system. "strange burlesque" indeed. Keep on creating s.

eyestar

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#4023847

Review of The Red Dragon's Castle

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

HI Prosperous snow! I was wandering around Random Reads and your piece popped up! I love dragon lore!

This flash fiction story drew my attention into the drama right from the first scene and encapsuled the setting and characters in one swoop!

You portray a strong character through her actions and words--strong intonation. I loved when she threw the scroll into the trash! so there! attitude.

The magical items on the tray leave us a mystery as to what they are for and why the dragon laughs at the end. It is cool contrast as we expect a mean dragon instead of one with a sense of humour.

I noticed a typo in paragraph 2.. "she whisper" should be "whispered".

This first line is rather long and awkward to read though it has necessary detail.. Maybe break it down for ease of flow.
And I think a period after "sunset" would make the warning Pop in the note section!
You are missing commas in several places where you have phrases.

Good show!I want to here more!!

eyestar

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#4023839

Review of Unbound Words: Chapter 2 - Torin Tarsis

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

HI Ben! I was wandering around on Random Reads and this wonderful fantasy came up! I am not a story writer with skill in formats so I will offer you my comments as a reader as I do love fantasy.

I liked the evocative title and it ties in to this main character's gift of words. His name is wonderful and flows off the tongue like magic and is appealing as a name for a word wizard. You illuminate his character effectively through his actions, thoughts and dialogues.

I enjoyed his chat with Sarah and the well conceived ideas of special books for your created world. It is cool to ahve a fav poet Sir Rhinehart and that the characters quote him later in the scene. You really have thought out details of this place. Nice touch. I'd love to see what is in that old manual. LOL

I really entered into the conversation between Kenton and Torin and learn much about each of them as well as the role Torin played in getting Kenton the position. Nice ploy.

The vocabulary--the naming of professions is unique and make sense: literamancer! etc. I like it!

Dialogues were well handled and purposeful. Well done!

One thing I did notice was that you used some commas where periods should be used--especially in your narrative parts. And some wordy or run on lines. When you edit, note where you begin a new idea or thought.

eg. In "different for Torin then it was for the other Masters, half the people avoided "
The first part is a complete thought and so is the second. They do not join really. So a period after "Masters" gives us a breath before your explanation line. also a typo here: "then" should be "than".

eg "looked around, it was quite busy" Period after "around". also the next line here I felt was very long and repetitive with "he saw". Could use some tightening up or break it down to shorter lines.

eg." two kids playing, when he looked closer " . Period after "playing" though I think these two lines could be tightened up--seems wordy.
"looked to be about.." is awkward. Maybe something like "he saw two children playing. A little boy was chasing a smaller girl...it gives us the idea of size and implies he is bigger. Unless age matters.

I really had a good picture in my mind of the setting and Torin's love to tease and amuse or shock folks, and his devices to remain mysterious and seem powerful, how he keeps people at bay and guessing--not wanting to tip his whole hand--seeking to see a change occur yet from the cryptic point he makes about true power--maybe wants no guruship!

I enjoyed the cool and unique magical content- as he flies up in the air and the numerous little book stores and games he plays to while the time.

You leave me with questions so I want to read more. Like why he no longer likes teaching but stays. And why he feels Kenton will be important and how he will shake things up!

I enjoyed my visit to your world! I am sure there maybe editing a revising yet to do but the story and character kept my interest and imagination engaged.. Keep conjuring and weaving!

eyestar

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#4023758

Review of Demon Dog

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

HI Fhionnuisce! I am happy to do another review to celebrate you!

Wow! this free style poem is so vibrant in energy and resonates with the growling coyotes. The idea of the demon three headed dog that your experience with coyotes evoked is fantastic. YOU really captured the whole atmosphere and mythical picture of this creature. Impressive.

The free form poem suits the nature to the theme and evocation as you speak to the creature. I enjoyed the old fashioned language of the "O foul demon"! The speech is quite dramatic and potent.

It was delicious to read aloud especially the sounds of words in the first verse. Words like "aghast" and the neat rhymes add to the flow and sound quality. Icouldn't find a defined patternof rhyme but how you woven them really is effective.

Minimum punctuation works here too --it increases the sense of speed(in the first verse) and tension rising as we move on.

I had an awesome experience dwelling in your eery expression. I really would not want to meet this dog! LOL

Thanks for sharing your vision. Keep on weaving! Light on the path as you write on!

eyestar
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#4023755

Review of My Love is ……

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.0)

HI Doctor Dirt! I am happy to do another review to celebrate you!

This is such a unique expression of defining love. I really liked the idea of "never" and the illusiveness of love.
Your images are vivid. I loved the raindrop, the race, the song unheard. Wow!

The tone is evocative. I found it romantic and yet can evoke a sadness too.

The free style suits the theme and the presentation on the page works.

It feels incomplete somehow-like it needs a summation. I am not sure why it feels that way. Yet it stands alone as an echo in the wind.

Thanks for sharing this evocative expression that provoked pondering!

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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#4023750

Review of I Shall Walk a While Longer.

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Welcome to WDC Doctor Dirt! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you!

I found this moving poem on the Read A Newbie page. Thanks you for sharing such a personal message and how wonderful you can express your feelings in poetry. I can't imagine the loss after so long a time together.

The free form style suits the emotional content and I like the rhyme scheme. The words flow well and the tone is potent. I like the idea of "thrashing ""enemy". It is a very vivid image.

It is usually good to have consistency in verse--the last three have a pattern while the first one with only 3 lines and a different rhyme scheme. Yet it really got my attention and set the atmosphere vividly.

In verse one I wanted to drop the word "and" in the second line and put a comma or period after river. It would put the emphasis on the word "memories" and have it flow more evenly.

I could really feel the vibes here and the plea for strength. Well done!

Light on the path as you write on!
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#4023551

Review of Much

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Congrats! You're receiving a gift from "Invalid Item"

from The Run-on King PDG Member

for the event "Alien Shooting Gallery!"! Here is your second review!

Hi Jimminy!

I really enjoy your brief expressions that speak with a potent punch. not easy to do!

The title is interesting and gives nothing away. It made me curious so here I am. Your tagline mentioned poetry and I am always keen to hear what folks have to say about it.

Oh, I like the comparison you make here. The short lines broken in this way are emphatic as well.

Punctution is a choice in poetry but in this case I think it might assist the read. I had to read lines 2 and 3 twice on my first round. I'd put a comma after "life" as you go from general life to person "My life".deserves a pause for clarity and emphasis. I owuld put one after "My life, it" as well.

I am wondering if you need the word "perhpas" which indicates an uncertainty about whether your life is broken or not or that poetry is. Would it be more potent to just admit "just like me"? It is the theme of your poetic thread. Just a thought that occured to me. Keep it vital and direct.

Thanks for sharing another capsule of philosophy for me to ponder!

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#4023548

Review of Calling

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Congrats! You're receiving a gift from "Invalid Item"

from The Run-on King PDG Member

for the event "Alien Shooting Gallery!"!

Hi Jimminy!
I so enjoyed the experience of reading this short poem. It carries quite a potent vibration and the imagery is vivid. The short lines add drama. It is creative how you portray the idea of being in a coffin underground without saying so! Well done.

The concept of one speaking from its dead form is cool and exemplifies the idea of astral and after life. I liked him being appalled!

The thoughts of the voice are reasonable and the last line has a sad echo as if the spirit is considering it as factual.

Your tag line is intriguing--that even death is not silent.

Thanks for crafting this powerful thought provoking expression. Keep on weaving wonders!

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1398

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14 days may be credited.

#4017088

Review of Rotary Drilling Process

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Welcome to WDC Michael! Thanks for shairng your scientific work here. I do not know much about the subject matter but offer you my comments as a reader.

The article has a definite thesis and completely makes it point clear. Your closing comment I enjoyed as I could see by all the detail of your explanations that drilling procedures are indeed intricate. I just shook my head , yes!

The paper is organized and broken into suitable subheadings. I assume there may be pictures missing as the spacing in places is a bit askew!

The bit of history of drilling was interesting to begin and the mention of the older method was also informative.

Under Types and Classifications I noticed this first line was rather long and I got confused with the last part grammatically:
"practice of classifying rotary drilling, by projects location on land, water or submersible, portable or fixed nature, inbuilt storage etc. are some of the common grounds "
I felt you could clarify the common grounds. I got lost at drilling, by projects.." Maybe reword it a bit.

This line seems incomplete and I wantted to say --what?.

" Typical chain of command among contractors and clients at a drilling site."

Under Different types--the definitions was clear. The spacing is a bit wonky at the end.

in Desing Casings section:Period after "corosion" in the 2nd paragraph there.

Under Casing LIners this line in paragraph 2 here seems like it is missing something. Could just be me.
"several hundred feet of between ".

Under Pressure section, the spacing near the end around Viscosity is off. I don't think you need to ask the question "what is Viscosity?" here.
It follows neatly after
"the fluid viscosity. Viscosity is the property of a fluid which makes it sluggish as it flows." Also less repetitive.

Under Directional drilling the firstline is way too long . I lost the context. Maybe break it up just for ease and clarity.

Overall the artiecle has clear information and makes sense even to me to a non engineer. I am sure students will get alot out of it as they weill be more familiar with terms and data you mention.

I hope this has been a little helpful. I imagine it is hard to break this all down to explain in simpler terms. Great job from my POV!

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#4017042

Review of Sold on Chimes

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hi Avid Writer! This review is part of yourNuclear Packagefrom "Invalid Item"

I so love wind chimes too and there are so many varieties and tones from which to choose, so I was drawn to your title.

This is a precious little memoire piece beginning in the present with the purchase and how the sound of chimes brings you back in time to memories that brought joy! The simple things we oft forget in the chaos of the doing! The symbolism of the chimes blocking the neighbourhood speaks to this as well.

I wonder if you could find more descriptive words than the old "beautiful" to describe the enchanting sounds of your particular set of chimes.
Also the word "great" is weak for the transcendant feeling you want to express.

I can see you expanding this into even more descriptive detail in the setting and type of chimes etc.

As an commentary of a moment in time this rocks and one can tell it just wanted to be expressed! I like chimes and have some musical sets that you strike with a rubber mallet. I find it hard to sleep with wind chimes out the window as I am a light sleeper ! LOL I have smaller sets inside that remind me of fairy voices.

Thanks for sharing your joy and reminding us that joy is within and it can be in simple things right now!!

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#4016631

Review of The Sleeping Aid

Review by eyestar~*

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Congrats! You're receiving a gift from "Invalid Item"

! The special Event Package has been ordered for you from The Run-on King PDG Member

for "the Alien shooting Gallery"!

Look what I found when I really needeed laugh today! You have such a variety of writing faces!
I enjoy limericks and was naturally curious about limerick-ish in your tag line! LOL

I had to laugh at your rendition of Little bo peep and could see her debating with herself and finding her self boring! Good one!

This is a brillliant creation and indeed has the vibe of a limerick form in three verses to tell the tale. I can see where the "ish " part comes as the lines do not not follow the regular format of limerick. Still it has a jaunty flow and potent punch lines. The comic element is prestn as well.

I so identify with the plausibility in reality of trying to sleep with the crazy monkey mind arguing itself and trying to figure stuff out. Good idea to make fun of.

I really liked the rhymes with interesting words l like "debated", "thickly", causation"! Well done! You did use "and" a lot but you had to keep it tripping along. The ideas are priceless. I wonder what it would take to make it Limerick instead of "ish"? LOL Naw> It rocks as is. Well worth its ribbon!

I was entertained by this play on the nursery rhyme and your creative mind. Keep on sharing your gift.

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