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1476
1476
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Sun**BalloonP*Welcome to WDC The Winter ! I am happy to do a review with to celebrate you!*Delight*

This is an evocative poem with a deep and meaningful message for today. So many people judge their bodies and compare to others and some Ideal perfectionism. Who created that form? Why do we buy in?

The point of view is personal and potent and so effective for drawing me into the web of your words. The apologetic tone is so realistic too.It is so sad at the end that one feels like nothing. It seems like it is worse when a friend is preferred .

I like the "your" hand, standards as if speaking to that unknown being who decides these things--society, media, everyone who has learned to believe the lie that one body is better or worse than another. Or the inside voice that has been influenced by the outside workd and now judge from within. Cool to ponder each!

The free style suits the theme and emotional content. I like stream of consciousness work.

The image of "woven webs of perfection" is beautiful! The idea of "battle" within the self is relevant too. The verb "clutch" is intense too and interesting for the context. I was confused as to what battle the friend won.

It is cool in a way as if there is battle it can mean there is a Higher Being inside that knows how ok you really are. We can decide what voice to listen to! It would be neat to do a more upbeat poem from that angle sometime.

Thanks for sharing such an emotional piece of your craft! *Smile*
Light on the path as you write on!*Star*



Light on the path as you write on!


Eyestar Sunspear from Martell House in "King's Landing updating " 
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1477
1477
Review of Teamwork  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
HI Grum! I am here with a sunspear Review from House Martell in the "King's Landing updating " !

Your story "Teamwork" is a vivid portrayal of a family focussin gon the interplay of two siblings. The conflict is one that is so common in families--hwer one siblling seems to take the responsibility and the other gets a way with doing less. *Smile* I was one of 6 so I know the feeling! The underlying love and care of the silbings is also shown--and again in a realistic way. I am glad the sister took up the offer of help! That doesn't always happen!

The descriptions of the characters and background is vivid as you set the stage for the drama. The dialogue is natural and I could almost hear the tone of the speakers. The point of view form the eyese of the brother is consisitent and potent. I could really identify his feelings and frustration with being the hepful one. I loved when he threw the stuff on her bed. So likley. I had siblings and your portrayal is so real to life. I oucld visulaize her attitude as well.

I enjoyed reading the story as it was coherent flowed at a good pace and the structure was solid with lot of vitality in the language, action and characters. Descriptions were vivid--the father's clothes and his manner, the mother's over worked but handles the traumas. It is nice at the end for the fatherto praise the kids. I think sometimes that lacks being said in real life too. Sometimes fathers in past forget to say it.

This was fun and brought back memories. Thanks for sharing your talent!

eyestar
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"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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1478
1478
Review of For Martin  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*Fire* HI Fiction diva. This review is part of yourSolar Packagefrom "Invalid Item" !

*Bird*Oh I so like Acrostic poems as there is so mcuh variety in the form and content. This is an excellent form to use to pay tribute to anyone or anything. The poem is wall laid out on the page with the first letters highlighted with appropriate spacing for ease of reading.

Amazing how you were able to get all of the key points of Martin Luther King Jr' s importance in this short poem. It was interesting to read and easy to follow the meaning in the variety of sentence lengths you used. It was really cool how the "ou" sound" reverberated in your first three lines like an echo that raises the like a banner and mimics a tribute. You have good detail to reveal the vitality and value of his purpose and life.

I notice you need a comma after "blood(,) the water..." in line T in the second verse.
You did use "remind/reminding twice for R. It is hard to think of another word and this is a trbiute to remember, but variety is something to consider if tweaking. *Wink*
I wonder if you need the word "and" after "flames" in line "Together..", as I think the next line can stand by itself and still feel connected without it.

I like how you got the dream in in "NO dream.." and the Creed. Having "gift " on its own is emphatic too. Good call, For his life was also a gift to the world. I liek the dramtaic ending...and the whole peice seems to call forth that we carry the torch, summed up beautifully in "Tomorrow is mine! "

Thanks for sharing your heartfelt expression that honours a great human being. *Starstruck*
Keep the ink flowing! *Quill*

eyestar

** Image ID #1919873 Unavailable **
Cheer for Martell in "King's Landing updating " 
which is "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" !


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1479
1479
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
*Fire* HI diva. This review is part of yourSolar Packagefrom "Invalid Item" !

*Bird*I was drawn to your title as I like to ponder the symbolism of nature in my own self discovery and unfolding.
Your weaving is creative and thought-provoking as you share how each season stimulates or mirrors one' s own growth.
It was pleasant to read even without a definite rhythm and some off rhymes.

My favourite verse was the first and then the third as the ideas were vivid. I liked the "grime of refusal" Spring cleaning, *Thumbsup* and that the fall brings new life, which is usually given to spring. I so get that. *Smile* I think it is cool that winter is good for you. The isolation of winter is like being in the quiet musing of oneself away from all outer influences--thus closer to ones' own truth.
I like the strong vibe words like "ignites", breeds", in contrast to summer's "lazy, stifling heat". "brindled thoughts" is cool too. *Thumbsup*

I wondered if you needed the "and " in last line of verse 2. The word "ironically" flows nicely yet not very descriptive in poetic sense. *Wink*
You used the words "thoughts" and "self" twice close in one verse. It looks like the rhyme scheme was abab though some rhymes were off and you used the same words to rhyme .That might be a place to tweak if you ever seen need to edit.

Thank you for sharing your journey ot self in such a potent and original fashion. It is inspiring and gave me food for thought.*Starstruck*

eyestar

** Image ID #1919873 Unavailable **
Cheer for Martell in "King's Landing updating " 
which is "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" !


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
1480
1480
Review of Buddha Mind  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Sun**BalloonP*Welcome to WDC fellow Canadian Life liberty! I am happy to do a review with to celebrate you!*Delight*

I was cruising the Newbie Page and this caught my eye. I love to meditate and Buddhist teachings are so interesting. The concepts of opposites in and stayin in the middle of Being is appealing.

Your poem seems to be a freestyle or stream of consciousness flow which so suits the theme of contemplating the buddha. Short verses and lines fall down the page leaving lots of space which gives me the notion of no boundaries and silence of no mind as it filters out all and lets thoughts float off. *Smile*

I like how you empasize the nothing and the not in the repeating in one line pattern. The third verse progressing to the "no-thing" is well done. The use of gerunds forms works here too as they have a longer flow. "still, yet moving...frozen" is potent mid section. I was wondering if you needed the next bit about "Still.." as it seems to break up the flow of your process. though I could see the emphasis you want to make.

I would drop the "And" before "growing" as redundant.
I would put your name at the bottom of the page as I find it is distracting and is not part of the poem really.

Your expression has really captured the essence of the Buddha mind concept which lawasy evokes one to consider it s meaning and ponder beyond thought.*Star* Thanks for sharing your reflection.*Heart*



Light on the path as you write on!


Eyestar Sunspear from Martell in "King's Landing updating " 
** Image ID #1919873 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
1481
1481
Review of Garden  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
*Treepine*Greetings turtlemoon! Thank you so much for entering the "Haiku Hunt Contest" ! *Delight* Here I am with my brief comments on your shining entry on behalf of the House Martell in the"King's Landing updating " .*Delight*

*Trees*Oh! This is absolutely a vivid expression and I loved reading and entering into the garden picture you painted.*Delight*

I was captivated by the language that so illustrated the moment in time contrasting the birds and the floral elements.
The phrase "feathered notes" is unique and evocative, more fanatastical than realism. Yet I like the description.

The form has the essential haiku elements of nature, 3 lines and correct syllable counts and also I feel a contrast point. That is the most difficult part of haiku and I struggle with it. I did feel the tug to other perpsectives as I ponder your weaving and imagine a myriad of colour in flowers and birds. I wonder too what story there is to be mused if one oculd hear the true song of nature.

The vocabulary words like "tapestry" create mind pictures even to murals on walls that depict gardens.
The idea in the last line is interesting and I thought the mix of that with song was brilliant.*Sun*

I enjoyed reading the flow and soft sounds aloud. Good use of letter combos. The poem hangs in space, boundless as haiku can.

I feel there is something to suggest but my knowledge is not yet so great that it comes to me. Only a feeling.. so for now I learn from you.*Star*

Thanks for sharing this fine exemplar of this challenging form. It is an honour to read it.

Good luck in the contest! *Shamrock*
Highest regards and light on the path as you Write on! *Sun*
eyestar

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"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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1482
1482
Review of Game of Thrones  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Sun*Hail Great Blue Witch of Thrones! I am here to honour you with a review on behalf of the House Martell in the"King's Landing updating " .*Delight*

This is an absolutely outstanding and magical feat and will prove to be a worthy cahllenge for all competitors. The detailed structures and rules boggle my mind and I bow to the weaver of the design. I can't imagine the time and effort that went into this contest. It certainly took me time to read with understanding and catch all the nuances and criteria for each section of this vast playing field.

The concept of using the idea form the novel Game of Thrones is creative and gives an evocative background and inspiration. The small councils for each House are cool. The individual badges are expertly designed and vibrant for the cause.

The outlay of the page is aesthetically appealing with its colourful crests and easy to see lists and drop downs. The folks in the stands will be able to see what happens in a convenient organized way. As it is a long page, the drop down menus are practical and appreciated. I think If we had to see all of the information flowing down the page, many might have taken our spears and run! *Laugh* It was easier to amanage and focus on bite size pieces.

The rules are easy to read but it does take time to get the details . The challenges you mention are clear but you do keep the element of surpirse in that you hold back what else you have in store. it builds the drama and keeps folks wondering. It calls forth one's courage and trust and willingness to risk. The prizes are substantial and well worth the battle as groups are continuously in need of funds. The added prizes for cheerleading etc are generous incentives . I love the Mb for high donations too. Wow!

Your invitation and explanations are friendly and I like when you said "don't panic". The rules did get easier once I had time to take them in. Just had to get my head around it. Such complexity! You really emphasize that communication will be key--good to know where to go!

The sound track is awesome and sets the atmsophere

Including revewing and writing and even campfire challenge was awesome. I am glad you lowered the mininum for word count. A poem of 1000 words would be a feat in itself. Also allows for more genres like flash fiction

I am sure this event will go down in the annals of WDC history as a fantastic feat! I am sure all in it will have fun and /or collapse of battle fatigue before it is over. LOL Seriously, a wonderful challenging way to test our mettle in writing and reviewing.

Keep the cauldron brewing and I wish this great success. I am glad you have helpers because managing this will be quite the task. Fare well.

Highest regards and light on the path as you Write on! *Sun*
eyestar

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"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 
1483
1483
Review of Spring  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
*Treepine*Greetings! Thank you so much for entering the "Haiku Hunt Contest" ! *Delight* Here I am with my brief comments on your shining entry.

HI Chevy Bobcat. I enjoyed pondering the concepts in this haiku about spring. The last line is so original and emitted a fanciful vibe. It made be smile. The first line was strong and brought me to attention as Spring bursting forth is prone to do. I am not sure how a morning "stands". *Smile* You have used personification well.

The haiku form is well done in line and syllables. it doesn' t usually use capital letters or a title on the page.
The imagery is lovely and I enjoyed reading aloud for flow.
I didn't get the sense of a contrast that is part of haiku experience. It felt like lines 2 and 3 were giving a similar message.
I'd like to see a more concrete nature image--that I can experience with you.

The poem captures the essence of spring in a metaphoric way.

I am still amateur at this challenging form, always striving and learning and I thank you for your rendering of haiku. Good job and only your second.! *Starstruck*

Good luck in the contest! *Shamrock*

eyestar

Peeking in with a SP review sig


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1484
1484
Review of Golden  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*BalloonP* Welcome to WDC Megan! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*

I really enjoyed this prosaic journey inot a moment in time as the sun sets. I could imagine myself there in your vividly described scene especially paragraph 3! Delightful visuals of "carpets", gold..fills .and spills" "liquid sun" and the way you stand is so evocative of the awe that you speak of at the end.

The use of the present tense and and first line make it personal and your= draw us in with your question--inviting us to recall our own expereince as we go in ot yours.

The reference to Eden's purity and the idea of Eternity in that moment of bliss reflects your connection of nature's perfection to divine inspiration and the idea of the oneness of all time is appealing to me.

I think you could have less spaces between paragraphs as it seems distracting to me. Your paragraphs are short enough to not require such spacing--it takes aways from the intimacy of the whole.

Reading this was a pleasant experience and inspires one to take a moment to observe the wonder of what is right here and that it can raise our vision to something more. *Star*

Thanks for sharing your vision.


Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **



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1485
1485
Review of The Star  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Welcome to WDC Trisha! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you!

Wow! This is a wonderful tribute to your dad from a 12 year old you! It feels comforting and a way to approach the passing of loved one. They are always there in our heart and attributing that presence to a star is so valid . Your 12 year old self was wise and philosophical. *Heart*

I enjoyed reading the rhyming verse and while the rhythm is not perfect, for a 12yr old it is well done and flows rather well. It has a nice pattern of repetition.

Though some lines are awkward like line 2, {I think the word "won"t" for doesn't might flow and sound better) and generally we wouldn't use so many "that" in poetry, I think the poem has emotional meaning and reflects the child's view.

Also "to" needs to be "too" in "going to far".

This is a wonderful keepsake for you of that time. *Star* Thank you for sharing such a personal tribute. Keep on writing from the heart.

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **



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1486
1486
Review of One by One  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Welcome to WDC gummyhearts! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you!*Delight*

I like the title of this as it is simple and evocative. It made me curious to wonder one by one what. *Smile*
The poem has a free style structure with a lovely interesting rhyme and it was fun to read aloud.
It has a rather sad vibe as I see the girl hidden during chaotic times. Or I could also imagine her on a cloud waiting to come to earth and seeing a future not so bright. But I am strange! *Smile*

I wondered why your kept your first two lines long instead rhyming couplets like your other lines. The repeated "me" and "see" rhymes works in this simple "nursery rhyme "type of poem, even though usually we try for variety of words that rhyme.

I liked the off rhyme with "world". LInes 3-4 are my favourite as the movement is vivid and the line 4 is potent in its evocation--we can imagine what it looks like in our POV!

Thanks for sharing your expression for all to enjoy!*Star*

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
1487
1487
Review of Beach Scene  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Sun*HI Mitch! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you!

Wow! This is an amazing expression and was so pleasureable to read and envision. The language is vividly descriptive with a flowing soundscape filed with alliterative phrases. I like the evocative idea of "soothsaying stars" and "darkness demure". I like stargazing and am reminded of the astronomers of old {and even now} using star charts. The image of the sandcastles final stand is awesome too. So many wonderful weavings.

The atmsophere and tone remind me of lazy slow summer nights with their magics. Fireflies on dunes is cool I have walked on dunes at night in the moon light so we could see. LOL

Each line is rich with apppealing image that is accessible to all. The lone soul is profound and mirrors this setting and time. One feels connected to the universe-expanded yet small in the vastness. Night reveals the inner vastness of one's soul. The scenery is more vivid and alive from the clarity of that focussed observation and solitude.

The only glitch or puzzlement to me is the colon after "forever".*Confused*

Impressive peice that shows you Poetic mastery! *Starstruck* Thank you for the journey.

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **


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1488
1488
Review of Ode to Sunsets  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with Earth Day Challengers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Flowerr* HI Shelley! Happy Earth Day! *Earth*

Oh I so loved your first line with the alliterative language! *Delight* It impelled me to read on!
Your weaving has created a very vivid description of sunset and its variations and the appreciaton for this time of day is clearly vibrant.

It was pleasant to read as I enjoyed the sound scape and visual stimulation. words like "luminous"," vivacious", "enticing " are flowing and interesting. they suit the Ode idea too, raising the inspiration vibe.*Wink*

I like the flow of line 10-11 starting with the verb. it added variety and drama.
I wonder if instead of using "And" in line 8 "with" might flow better.

Using bold font for sunset and the font itself is effective for this expression. I can just see it in my memory mind. Lovely.*Starstruck*
Thanks for sharing your talent.

Light on the path as you write on!

eyestar

April 22nd is Earth Day!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
1489
1489
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with Earth Day Challengers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Flowerr* HI Brenpoet! Happy Earth Day! *Earth*

*Leaf1*Oh I so appreciate the lyrical sound and imagey of your verse. The magical vibe of fall as a lady is appealing.*Delight*

The form is balanced and the rhythm and rhyme of your descriptive weave made it a joy to read aloud.

I did notice a few lines out of the flow in syllable if youwere aiming at a steady flow form.
Line 2 verse 2 longer, last line verse 3 shorter, line 4 verse 1 you could drop the "and" to have it match. *Wink*

I could easily feel the vibe of the poem and its rather philosphical undertone. The personification is perfect for the theme and I visualize an earth mother figure watching the dance from every tree.

The reference to the youth of spring was fun too and speaks to the cycles of nature and the goddess. I think of Persephone and Demeter.
The picture that graces the page is unique art piece and sets off the poem aesthetically on the page.

I really enjoyed the colourful dance of your vision! *Starstruck* Thanks for sharing your gift.

Light on the path as you write on!

eyestar

April 22nd is Earth Day!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
1490
1490
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with Earth Day Challengers  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
HI Maddy! Happy Earth Day! *Earth*

O wow! You make a great case for not drilling offshore. Your opinion voice is clear, never wavering from its intent and you back it up with solid evidence. *Thumbsup*

You share detailed information in an organized way from the opening thesis to the summative ending. The style and laguage suit the theme and non fiction content and pursuasive purpose. It was easy to follow your thinking, stats and dangers you refer to and I could read it read without tripping up.

Glitch point:
I one line you say" we can't make it any worse", I think you mean "we don't want to make it worse" or "it could get worse if we do not act." Beacause I think we certainly Can make it worse--. *Wink*

I like how the thesis is centered in one area (canada} and it is apparent you have done your research. As a Canadian it is interesting to know some of the fact I didn"t know! Sharing this article brings the harm drilling issue back to our focus. The dangers and effects of spills are truly sad and will ahve major consequences on next generation--right now!

Good call to add the definition too.

Thanks for writing this direct and instructional article. I can really sense the pasion yo have to get this POV across in your caring for the land and its creaures ! Keep standing for the earth. *Earth**Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!

eyestar

April 22nd is Earth Day!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
1491
1491
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with Earth Day Challengers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Flowerr* HI Harry! Happy Earth Day! *Earth*

*Sun*I liked the title as it makes the melting process a bit or a grand event!*Waterdrop* I was interested to see how you'd describe it without using the words the prompt said not to use, like water, wet..etc. Wow! That is quite a challenge.

And you acheived it with your free running river like poem. It is cool how it flows with little punctuation to pause it in its course. Great imitation of natural flowing melt down. You have created a vivid image of the melting snow as it begin upstream adn continues to its end. I enjoyed the descriptions and sounds like "bouncing, babbling conveyors" and also "sparkinng liquid", "rivultets" , "drops" as replacements for the more obvious words you couldn't use. Well done!

You show good detail of where the water winds up and I like the contrast with the summer drought, that this spring water will alleviate.
I am not sure you need the adverbs like "sufficiently" as you do tell us it is refilled , which implies enough, and how is is lead "safely"?

The journey of the snow melt is clearly defined here complete witht he changes thar occur in streambeds, etc along the way. I liked reading the pace and breathlessness of the trip.*Smile*

Thanks for sharing your craft. *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!

eyestar

April 22nd is Earth Day!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
1492
1492
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with Earth Day Challengers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Earth* Hi Finn! Happy Earth Day! *Earth*

*Waterdrop* I found this evocative title on the Non-fiction environment genre page and the concept it suggested stirred my muse. It had a metaphoric feel to it though it is non-fiction. *Delight*

The piece is unique and sets an intent or target for potential writing or study of the topic.
The first line is a relevant summation of life without water. You used effective illustration of a fact in a poetic way. Brilliant. *Sun* I think you need a period after the word "existence" as the line is a full thought and doesn't flow into the next part of the line. Period after" rubble" too.

The alternate pink and black is effective. I'd like to see the sum word "powerful" centered for effect and balance.

The piece does feel like a beginning and you made a good start on list of words to do with water. There are many more and I think it will be fun to explore. Good luck with your journey of discovery.*Star*

Light on the path as you write on!

eyestar

April 22nd is Earth Day!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
1493
1493
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with Earth Day Challengers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Earth* Happy Earth Day! *Earth*

*Flowerr*Hi Hunter's Moon! This is absolutely charmng! I just saw this non poetic entry at the Earthday Challenge! {e;smile} I had to check it out.
I so enjoyed this story with its environmental theme set in a future time. The intimate drama unfolded between mom and child on one April morning sometime he future when he earth was cooler. I like how you gradually release details of changes like little fruit, snow in April and how it came to be and that the story mom tells is about the the spring as it used to be. You make it seem magical, which it would be if some one had never seen it. Sad to think it would ever come to that.

The Storyline flowed welland easy to follow. The descriptions of the setting, and characters and the "spring" scene are vivid and detailed. I liked the "spikey" hair and "scrunched up" expression. Reading the story gave me a warm fuzzy feeling.
The dialogue was natural and purposeful and enlived your characters. A story day sounds like fun too.

I like the way the mom didn't recall the details of the environment matter as it is believable--who would understand the scientific jargon.? Inventive solution you created was clever. I have seen big snow in April here so I wasn't shocked by it in the story. Maybe a later date might give a more dramatic clue--though you do say later that it snowed til July.

I was enchanted by the spring story.."the bravest of flowers..." I'm thinking dandelions and daffodils!! LOL

This was delightful entertainment with a message to make us pause and appreciate the earth and its seasons. How lucky we are.*Star*

Thanks for sharing your gift.

Light on the path as you write on!

eyestar

April 22nd is Earth Day!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
1494
1494
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with Earth Day Challengers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Flowerr* HI Reason. Happy Earth Day! *Earth*

*Tree*Wow! I was drawn to the title and tag line! *Smile* Jim?

This is an interesting article about Co2 and its essential purpose. You have made the informations easy to understand and follow.
I think you could shorten the space between your paragraphs.

I can see the research that has gone into this as you share facts about how CO 2 is used and created and it was fascinating to learn that perhaps it is less a factor to global warming. You make good points about how man doesn't allow for the CO2 to retrun so plants can use it.

I sense this could be a kind of thesis where you are giving evidence that C02 is essential. You use good evidence.
In terms of article writing, you may tweak it to include an intro paragraph to set up your intent and a closing a paragraph to sum up your initial thesis. Just to polish it up and have it feel complete. I felt it left me hanging at the end.

You write clearly and directly using scientific vocabulary and lots of detail. I did enjoy reading the information you presented and learned some things. *Star*

Thanks for sharing this piece. I felt your appreciation and strong point of view for the subject matter.

Light on the path as you write on!

eyestar

April 22nd is Earth Day!


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1495
1495
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with Earth Day Challengers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Flowerr*Hi Kai. Happy Earth Day! *Earth*

*Tree*I enjoy reading haiku and havebeen learning this challenging form so I was thrilled to find this item! *Delight* The subject of desert is a fine theme and sparked my curiosity.

This is marvelous collection poems with so many vivid images of desert life. Each haiku is well formatted though I believe hakiu does not use captial letters but for names.
I enjoyed reading each one with its interesting vocabulary, imagery and captured moment of time. I liked the "ant-streams..writhe" and "sunbeams slice the shade" and the "guilded hoods" haiku. *Thumbsup*Wonderful evocative imagery. Hard to pick favourites here though the last three seem to me very original.*Delight*

I notice you have used rhyme is some of them, which is so creative. I don't think Haiku uses that technique traditionally. Yet fun to read.

I could spend time musing on each of these so thanks for the journey into the desert magic. I will play in the "floating tunes". Lovely work.*Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!

eyestar

You might like: "Haiku Hunt Contest" 
April 22nd is Earth Day!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
1496
1496
Review of Earth's Poem  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with Earth Day Challengers  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*Tree*Happy Earth Day!*Earth*

*Bird*HI Jellyfish! This is marvelous and very moving. The poem is creative in its presenting a comparison of different animals in their habits and use of the earth. I like that Earth Mother addresses each one as though speaking and honouring each chosen animal including man. It is brilliant and well conceived and the descriptions/qualities you mention fo reach verse is valid and relevant showing how each adds to the world as opposed to man's flawed actions.

It was pleasant to read aloud and the words used in rhyme scheme are varied. Good job here. The rhythm was not quite even throughout but it did not detract from the heartfelt message and potency. *Wink*

I noticed in each verse you talk to the animals :::"you are my.." except with the dolphins. The "you " is left out, perhpas for length of line but as lines and syllable have no regular pattern I just wondered about it. It stood out as I read.

There was a underlying tone of sadness yet love, that we cannot be like the animals as you pay each tribute. The last verse feels blunt and cold and emphasizes your message. You have done Mother Earth proud in your version of what she might say in a loving way!*Starstruck*

Thanks for sharing this impressive expression. Good luck in the contest! *Shamrock*

Light on the path as you write on!

eyestar

April 22nd is Earth Day!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
1497
1497
Review of ROCKS  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with Earth Day Challengers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Earth*Happy Earth Day! *Earth*

Hi Maria Mize! I so like rocks and gems so I was attracted to your title!

The first line is potent and captured my muse attention. I liked the concept of the description and the inner rhyme rocks!
"ignoble yet profound" is evocative description as is seeing it as a traveller. It has a philosophical vibe here and I am reminded of stones as carriers of history and the native beliefs around ther stone people.

The first verse is fun to read and seems to have some sound scheme which the other verse lack. I see this is a free style poem without set form and it works for this musing as you hold the rock in your hands.

I like how you enhance its qualities as the poem goes on and showing how precious it is by putting in your "premium"plant pot with gentleness. *Smile*

I enjoyed reading your reflection on rocks, which inspires my wondering right along with you.*Earth**Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!

eyestar

April 22nd is Earth Day!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
1498
1498
Review of Lilies Dance  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with Earth Day Challengers  
Rated: E | (3.5)
*Earth*HI Sarah! Happy Earth Day! *Earth*

*Flowerp*I was drawn to the lyrical title and the image it evoked of lilies in the wind or spiralling on the pond. Lovely.

I could really see the image of this moment in time of lilies on the pond. Your description is vivid and I like the idea of ghost moon. You have shown the mystical evening scene and it has a romantic feel.

The format the correct syllables and line count with natural theme and seasonal word. I did notice that the lines seem to be one long sentence instead of the expected phrases where the reader gets to read between the lines, as seen in traditional haiku. It is still a beautiful expression.
You might play with tweaking it some time. *Wink* or not!

I have been learning about traditional haiku and it doesn't require captial letters or periods as the idea is to let the image just float boundless for us to ponder.

The poem does inspire me to dream of this moonlit eve with white lilies and shadows. I ponder on what else is reflected and what is real. *Smile*

Thank for sharing your craft and your rendering of this challenging form. *Starstruck*
You might like :"Haiku Hunt Contest" !

Light on the path as you write on!

eyestar

April 22nd is Earth Day!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
1499
1499
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with Earth Day Challengers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
HI war machine rocks! Welcome to WDC! Happy Earth Day! *Earth*

*Mountainsg*Wow! What a moving tale! I could imagine the girl's feelings! I do not like to see trees cut down either.*Sad* Your last line so effectively gives a clue to this girl's affinity for trees and her budding activist nature. *Thumbsup* Very evocative image of "signing papers and money accepted" Having the event happen in a family scene makes it personal and through the eyes of a child even more moving.

I thought of the changing landscape of child hood places--I know lots of pavement has occurred since i left our country home and tress cut down and farmlands bought up.

It is very free poetry without a distinct rhythm , more story like in its line structure.

I was bit confused at the beginning--walking in the woods through the grass to get there. Maybe it could be "walks to the woods.... through the grass"and then you do not need to say "make her way there" which is awkward.
Period after "funnels" for pause.

I enjoyed the underlying emotional potency of this piece and think it will trigger memories and hearts in us all. Thanks for sharing such a touching expression that also shows us hope that may lie in the future generation. The child has the knowing. *starstuck*

Light on the path as you write on!

eyestar

April 22nd is Earth Day!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
1500
1500
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with Earth Day Challengers  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
HI George! Happy Earth Day!*Earth*

What a lovely image you portray in your haiku. It so clearly describes this rose as it starts to lose its petals. The first line is vibrant and I feel the potency in the word "cut". I think of fresh rose and then the contrast with the image in the last line. "tearful" ties us back to the "cut" . *Thumbsup*

The second line is evocative and inspires the imagination. I would love to see this vase.
I can imagine timeless moment in reflection.

The haiku form is well done though it does not require captial letters or only a little punctuation. The idea is to leave it boundless for the reader to add own understanding .

Thanks for sharing this vivid crafting. *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!

eyestar

April 22nd is Earth Day!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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