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Review of Spirit Cloud  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Delight* Hi sharkdaddy! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you!*Smile*

I was drawn to your evocative title on the poetry page and was pleased to find this appealing poem. You have a creative way of expressing using personification. I so appreciated the concepts you used. Brilliant! *Smile*

The imagery is vivid as you use object and nature to portray the essence of a person's trials and emotions. I really liked the idea in the last line.
I enjoyed reading it aloud for its soundscape and consistent well chosen rhyme. It flowed quite easily though some lines were longer. I am not sure if this was on purpose or not. eg some 7-8-9 syllable lines. *Wink* The read wasn't disrupted by this minor lack of consistency.

It was worth reading several times as your active, lively vocabulary and sound combos were awesome. I like the contrast of quick paced lines with slower ones, which added drama. "clawed...haze", "hourglass" "domino days"! *Thumbsup*

You begin with a simple statement that intrigues the reader and take us on a rather dark journey. I enjoyed the philosophical aura.

Thanks for sharing such a potent inventive expression! *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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1527
Review of Moon's Glance  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
*Moon*Greetings turtle moon! Thank you so much for entering the "Haiku Hunt Contest" ! *Delight* Here I am with my brief comments on your shining entry.

This haiku has a lovely vivid image that invites me into perceptions of the wonder of a winter night illuminated by the moon. I loved the first line as it sets the time and atmosphere in harmonious sound scape. The poem was pleasant to read aloud for its flow and sound.

The idea of a moons' glance " is ceative and new. I would not use it in the title as it gives away the potential potency for the reader discovering it through the read. Haiku needs to just hang there for us to delve into in the moment. Using titles in haiku is less common than in other forms.

I wondered about the word "blinks" with "glance"--it seems to throw me out of the poem a bit.

I could really enter into this scene amd imagine the moon rays though trees just like when I look out my bedroom window. *Smile* Good show

Good luck in the contest! *Shamrock* Keep musing on!

eyestar

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#1300305 by Maryann


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Review of Moon Haiku  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Treepine*Greetings hunter's moon! Thank you so much for entering the "Haiku Hunt Contest" ! *Delight* Here I am with my brief comments on your shining entry.

This haiku has very clear and vivid imagery with an effective simile that gives us pause. Words like "ashen" and "glisten" are excellent choices in buildng the picture. The last line is evocative comment for us to ponder. *Thumbsup* I like the original and intriguing idea. I could spend time reflecting on this. Good show!

The form is well constructed and pleasant to read aloud. It compliments the picture perfectly too.

This moon ku opens the gateway for us to consider other dimensions of moon musing. *Moon* Impressive expression.

Good luck in the contest! *Shamrock*

eyestar

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Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann


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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Fire*HI spidey! I had to bite into this one even though I do not have an English degree--try Ancient classical languages and history!!! *Shock* So this did appeal becasue of the question what you do with...?*Bigsmile*

It is a brilliant and original idea to have a open in and out forum for folks to show how they use the knoweledge of the english language!

Your intro is short and to the point as to purpose and motivation. Good idea to add those who know grammar{whether degree or no) as well as it widens the draw of potential visitors! *Smile*

The invitation to finish the prompt line...gives direction as to what you are looking for in responses. Good idea! *Thumbsup*
It has the potentilal to be educational and comedic at the same time.*Laugh* I did have to smile when you said "the rest of the population".*Bigsmile*

I hope this review gives it a little plug to get it started. It will be interesting to read. *Star* Thanks for coming up with this cool contribution to WDC repetoire so we can have even more fun and feel good! *Laugh*

eyestar

Peeking in with a SP review sig
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1530
Review of Icey Giant  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.0)
*Smile*Welcome to WDC dawnyspace! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you!*Delight* I found this item on the Read A Newbie page. Congratulations on posting your first item on WDC! How exciting! *Delight**Lightning* These are just my POV comments . Take what feels light to your *Heart*

*Snow1*I would love to have seen the photo to go with your vivid image of the icy giant! I think of ice bergs in the arctic, mountain scapes, snowplowed hills and white billowy clouds like hills and wonder what the giant's chest could be. *Smile* The photo may have helped give the idea.
{e;cool}Quite evocative and appeals to imagination. I like where this can take me. That life passes like this scenic revery of watching winter is a neat concept.

I loved the speed and order of words in the first line as it wanes philosophical. Vivid descriptive verbs like "swift",' flashes", "sooped" are excellent choices. The image of "scooped into slopes" is brilliant.

The flow of the poem is fast and you have a sense of rhyme. The first four lines are stronger in this easy flow and rhyme pattern.
Then with "Mountain air.." it makes me think something is missing as you talk about life passing and then something reviving. MM. something to tweak. *Wink* Or not. You know what you mean. *Wink*

A couple of typos or spelling goofs: "icey" is "icy" (title too), "Giants" need to be :giant's" to show possession.

I was little confused by the "winter breath..splinters awaken.."
I thought the "mountain air" and "winter breath" might be the same thing. Or "the ..air revives this winter breath"
I wasn't' sure if you meant "splinters" as a verb or a noun. I first saw "splinters of (something" awakening.. chest".

Because we do not see the photo that inspired this, you will need to clarify these last 3 lines--I really think there is a good image hear and I want to understand and see it. *Wink*

I felt the enthusiastic vital vibration of the tone here and was enchanted into your vision. In spite of the needed clarification, I am rating this a three as it shows real potential and I loved the imagery and vocabulary use. It is well worth tweaking for better coherency. I am hoping you will do so.
There is potential here in your musing and image words. Keep on following your muse and write on!*Star*

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*BalloonP*Welcome to WDC Nylsaj Nomis! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you!*Delight*

*Fire*I found this cool title on the Read A Newbie page so here I am. I liked the idea evoked in the title--the theme of how words can be blessings.
the word "fitly" is intriguing as I have not seen it used before. It means to fit or fittlng but not seen used as adverb. Cool!

Your words are indeed inspiring to read and ponder and I enjoyed the calm and comforting vibe of the atmosphere you created.

I enjoyed reading the flow of the lines and the inner rhyme of well chosen vocab to suit the theme.
I liked the inner rhyme of some lines as in "spoken..token" but it was not continued in each one. I wonder if this is on purpose. It is not detract from the message and meaning of the poem. *Wink*

I wonder if you meant "gift or token" in the first line. I thought "token" meant "gift". *Smile*
One thing I noted was that you seem to be talking about "a heart" in the first verse but then cahnge to second person in the last one:
"buoys the soul" is third person and but then "..gives you strength" as if you speak directly to the reader. I wonder about it being consistent. Just something to consider.
Oh yes, and "give" needs to be "gives".

The expression is gentle and the message of hope and faith is clearly. Thanks for sharing your lovely crafting

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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Review of Tell me a story  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Starstruck*HI, PaulO. I see your rising star shining brightly and I offer my perspective on this crafting.*Star*


This is a unique piece of writing that I really enjoyed reading. It has a poetic feel to it. I liked the author asking the reader to tell the story as a child would ask with the specific things that wuld make it a great story for the asker. The refrain line is potent as an adult line of wanting to see the tale come true. Brilliant.

The piece has a balanced structure with paragraphs and refrains that make it cohesive and makes one think of poetry or song. It was pleasant to read aloud for flow and sound. I noticed a few run on sentences that could be broken up for effect and pause. eg. the 3rd line in paragraph one is adoozy! *Smile* The variety of line lengths work and maybe you mean to have that run on effect but I think it would give some potency to drop some "and"s.
In the vampire paragraph you use the word "chest" twice in close together. It stuck out. Maybe.."hear the beat of his own heart again...chest". This line could be tightened up . Edit for missing commas too. *Smile*
What would "unbearably" look or feel like. Adverbs are not too vividly descriptive. {e;wink}

Each section is vividly descriptive with details that relate to each type of tale. Each really gave us a basic picture of what may be involved in those genres. Super idea! The cowboy one was a nice surprise! *Delight*

I could almost hear the longing in the query and wishing! It was evocative, movignand fun to ponder. Thanks for sharing your craft and unique theme. *starstuck*

Keep dipping the quill into the muse's inkwell and scribe on!
It has been a privilege to read your work.

eyestar

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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*BalloonP*Welcome to WDC Nylsaj Nomis! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you!

I really enjoyed the reflective tone of this poem and imagine one looking through stained glass. The ideas expressed are clear and the image of the bird and sky relating to ressurrection is powerful. *Smile*

I like reading the poem aloud and the rhyme was well planned. The rhythm is a bit off in places , noticeably to me in lines 2 in verse 2 (a bit long-maybe drop the "and"){or something like "with challenges unique" to improve the flow.) *Wink*
"every one" is one word >"everyone".
"worshiping" is "worshipping"

The poem has a hope filled vision and vibe of faith that is inspiring. *Starstruck* Well done!

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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Review of Porcelain Doll  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
*BalloonG*Welcome to WDC tyler! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you!*Delight* I found this cool title on the Read A Newbie Page.

I really liked the premise of the story and using porcelain dolls and how you went from dream to reality! Creepy!

Your description of the doll and background was vivid and the story was well set up like memoire. The action was dramatic and I could imagine the boy's reaction at the end. That he never stayed over again is fine conclusion. and we are left ot ponder on whether the grandmother ever had the experience or what the boy said to explain the broken doll.

It kinda reminds me of an Hitchcock movie I saw once as a kid ,where a guy died of fright of a spider that in his mind grew bigger and bigger after he washed it down the sink. Spiders were creepy to me but after that, even more. You stimulate the imagination. You might have given her some vivid unblinking eyes too. What would "unaturally wide" look like?

I have learned tht adverbs are not the most descriptive words to use.
What would the adverb "bravely" look or sound like?

The story had a an organized structure, with good pargraphing and was logical to follow. I was enthralled to read on. *starstuck*

Thanks for sharing your craft.

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*BalloonP*Welcome to WDC River2Horses! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you!*Delight* I found this interesting title on the Read A Newbie Page!

I so enjoyed reading this philopshical little piece of prose. It flowed simply and smoothly with a variety of line lengths for interest. The comparison of life to you "strolling " inot WDC is unique and brillant. It also gives sense of your understanding of the journeyof life. *Thumbsup*
A great way to introduce yourself.

My nit picking: *Wink*
I would drop the "And" in the second line as it seems redundant with "likewise" and in the last line with "thus". You already have an "and" further along in that last line which does work for a purpose. *Wink*
Also you have two "about" in the same line close together. A bit repetitive. Just drop the end one.
You need a comma after "that" before "as in life".

You could even put this under "bio" or "philopsophy" as genres with "other" to get more audience. The title is evocative and suits the theme well.

This short piece has a calm vibe and drew me in form the first line.*Starstruck* Keep on musing and thanks for entering your first item here at WDC!

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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Review of Savant  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*BalloonP*Welcome to WDC Eloquent Evangelical Atheist ! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you!*Delight*
I found this interesting title on the Read A Newbie page!

This is a potent tightly scripted and unique expression. Free style composition with evocative theme that makes me wonder who "they" are!*Smile* I loved the ideas of "scribbled margins" and the last two lines are brilliant in concept!

The title suits the message and sets up the piece. The images were vivid! Well done!

I ike what you did with the line endings as it adds a certain drama and tone. Like a run on mind ! *Smile*

I wasn't sure of the "what they learnt" part. I also wondered about "frost AMONG...eyes"*Confused* Odd to use the word "among" but I could be missing something.

An intiruguing and thought provoking piece I enjoyed pondering! I would add "poerty " to the genre category for more audience, rather than just "other".*Wink*

Keep on following your muse!*Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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Review of Grey  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*BalloonP*Welcome to WDC Abbie! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you!*Fire*

I found this simple title on the Read A Newbie page.

I was so captivated by rhyming verse and your philosophical tone about the meaning of grey! The concept is brilliant--like a metaphor as you personify Gray!*Cool*

It was pleasant to read aloud and the voice was consistent. I flows smoothly and the rhyme is effectively woven. It has a free style feel as the rhythm is not exact, but it does not detract from the message or the read.
You begin in even rhythm but then have some longer lines like 7-9.

I was wondering about the word "of" in each of the phrases like "orange of fire". It has a certain interesting vibe. *Smile*
Punctuation assisted the flow and potency.

This is an evoctative piece that inspires me to ponder! I like it! *starstuck* Keep on following your muse.

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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Review of Origin Unknown  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Balloonr*Welcome to WDC Thomas Kenny! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you!*Smile* I found this wonderful title on the Read A Newbie page!
It is very evocative and I like the philosophic aura of it. A mystery.

*Fire*Awesome! I so enjoyed reading your dark expression with its vivid imagery and potent voice. *Delight*

The style and language suits the theme and the vocabulary was well chosen. I liked to ponder on the second line concept. *Thumbsup*
It was enthralling to read it aloud for its flow and soundscape and was drawn in by the first line and the evocative metaphor!
I read it a number of times. Great vibe!

Well conceived and woven so I could feel the atmosphere and felt the sad emptiness at the end.

Thank for sharing your gift and please keep writing!

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Fire* Hi Ken! This review is part of yourHydro Packagefrom "Invalid Item" 1 *Fire*

I couldn't resist another step into your world of Triem!*Delight* It feels like a chapter as there is no indication of background of these characters or place.

The story flows coherently and centers arong the Queen at court, the wizard and then his attempt to rescue an exiled fairy.

You did a fine job with the dialogue to unfold the situation and reasoning for the exile, the queen's part and the wizard's unknowing. You show elelments of their character through the actions and speech. Descriptive detail is vivid and I could visualize the characters and scene.

The magic of the orb is inventive as a tool for seeing but also for travel and weather changing. Cool and original!

The plot works and I like how you give clues along the way of how he discovers the true Gillian in the end. Introducing the mystery that the trolls are in this forest is a nice hook for a further adventure, as now I am wondering about it.

One thought occurred to me--in your other story the fairies were small and you had to shrink the wizard. Here you have the fairy hugging him? Is she the similar size? Or a different kind of fairy?
Also the reason she was banished was because she was a rebel spirit--yet at the end she doesn't seem that fiesty. eg. character wise. But then this is only a glimpse, there is likely more to her. *Smile*
Oh, and I was reading that using adverbs" with "LY" are not really descriptive and out of fashion nw. *Smile*

I really enjoyed the descriptive creative narrative and activity in the story that kept me wanting to read more.*Star*

eyestar
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Fire* HI Ken!This review is part of yourHydroPackagefrom "Invalid Item" . *Fire*

*Star*Oh, this is an absolutely enchanting tale! I like fairies and magic! *Delight*

The adventure is told by the main character who is drawn into the fairy world by magic. I like the mundane opening and the dogs as the motivation to go outside. The idea that he taught them to say a few words is cool! It is interesting we do not learn he is a wizard til mid story.

The descriptive details were vivid so I could imagine the scenery, the fairy queen and her entourage and his lovely outfit. The vocabulary fit the theme and setting as well as the magical realm of fae. I like the mischievousness of the giggling fairies, and the incident with the potion *Smile* and how he handled the unexpected postion in which he found himself.

The story flowed coherently to the end and I didn't feel any outstanding flaws in reading aloud. It was a dramtaic read with some humourous events while he was being played with by the fairies.*Bigsmile*

The names were well chosen and accessible to say.

A few suggestions:
You want to a watch run on very long sentences as in "I steadid myself..... Fairies" near the end part. There were lots of ideas hooked with "ands". Maybe break it up for effect.
You may want to proof read for commas as well especially around phrases like "and, of course, Paris copied.."
and in lines like "queen of the fairies(,)Mon Tika took.." There were a number of other times too.
Question mark after the last line in the last paragraph.

The conversations were natural, purposeful and easy to follow.
The plot worked and I can see this as part of a bigger story. The way he got around the speech thing was very creative and plausible, like he knew their anthem would effect them all. *Smile*

I am not a pro with story writing so there may be elements of writing I didn't see, but I do enjoy fantasy stories and this kept my attention and interest with all of the fab magical elements and vivid activity. It was so entertaining! Keep on writing and I look forward to reading more! *Starstruck* Kids would love this too.

eyestar
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Delight*Hi drifter! Here I am again witha review as part of your purchase in "Invalid Item" !*Fire*

I am a tree hugger so I was drawn to your title! *Delight* This reflection is a sincere and heart felt consideration of this Psalm. I so enjoyed your rendition of the woman in the story as a model for this theme and its power. It is so wonderful how these "power of example" people show up to "teach" us.

You have a creative way of explaining your pondering on these verses and the writing is coherent and make sense. I appreciate the tone and faith that shines through your words. *Thumbsup*

It was interesting what the tree represented in Hebrew lore and I like how you follow thought with t he tree theme as shown in biblical symbolism.
One line that was potent in your narrative that can evoke response is " Without God, a person lives only to die". (note comma) *Wink*
It is worth considering it even if one use Higher power or a god of one's understanding" as we are all one and here to live out our joy in love and harmony with all, including nature.

MInor notices: I found commas missing that would help the flow
You need commas after "Blessedness(,) from a biblical..{,} is dependent.." and in "loved her bible(,) the only.."
"tree by water (,} perpetuationg.."
"In Genesis {,}
I think you need them in "she chose(,) instead(,) to.." and around "on the other hand" as it is an added phrase as well. and "is(,)"therefore.."
"at one point{,} one had a life"..

In "Over time {,} that bodily shell is becomes like chaff " I think you need to take out "is" (typo) *Smile*

The work is well structured in paragraphs and ends In a well rounded way bringing us back to the character of Anna. The message is clear and and the tone open and inviting and personal. *Star*

Thanks for sharing your gift! *Tree*
eyestar
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello drifter. Thanks you so much for your purchase of my package in "Invalid Item" ! *Fire* Here is a little port Raid as one ouf your gifts!*Delight*

The title with the bird reference to the bible verse is intriguing and I like the opening personal vignette which introduces your theme is a humourous way. Your interpretation offers a variety of angles about the meaning and value of being the salt of the earth . It is well conceived and you make valid points in a gentle accessible style.

Your article is well written and flowed coherently and the capitalized words added emphasis. It was well organized and the pargraphing made sense. vocabulary fit the theme and variety of sentences were well chosen. The voice was consistent and the content gave lots to ponder.

I enjoyed reading your "teaching" on this metaphoric verse and what it means to you. Very creative and valid points about "salt" that give faithful readers pause. It was enjoyabel to read such well expressed narrative. *Starstruck*

Thanks for being the "salt of the earth" so generously here at Power!
eyestar

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Review of Virtual Friend  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Fire* Congrats! You're receiving a gift from "Invalid Item"  ! The Hydro Package has been ordered for you from: A E Willcox and 5 short story reviews {up to 10kbs! Enjoy! *Fire*


Hi Ken. Your title appealed to me as it is such a relevant theme today with computers taking over phones! I really enjoyed this unique short dramatic scene and I could really feel Blake's astonishment and then his sadness. Darn!

The idea of the black soul of cpu is evocative as well.*thumpsup* Maybe they do have minds of their own. Computers certainly addict folks. LOL I did wonder why he "loved his newest best friend" when he had only just been accepted and why he was tired. Perhaps indicated he had no life or thought that anyone who accepted him was a best friend and he was on all the time and being weary from it. That does happen.

Why 23rd? Is it a special significance?

The episode told in a flash way was interesting and kept me reading. It had drama and a mystery and an underlying comment on virtual life.
Even a dead guy still can have afacebook page. *Rolleyes* Blake certainly didn't have much luck here. "groaned"!

Well written and pleasant to read aloud with its vivid description and flow. *Star*

Thanks for sharing your gift.
eyestar

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Review of Just Chill Out!  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Fire* HI Patrece.! This review is part of yourNuclear Packagefrom "Invalid Item" ! *Delight*

*Chicken*I was checking out your Food folders and couldn't resist opening this one! Hilarious! *Bigsmile* The image reminds me of Mr Beans' Thanksgiving so I had fun laughing in memory of that too.*Smile*

The title is priceless and does describe the essence of the picture. The quip does indeed show the person taking a phrase literally. Whoever created this ahs great imagination. I love the remote!

The presentation on the page is colourful and quirky!

This image is well chosen to represent your folder on Kitchen comedy. Can't wait to see more as I know there are funny think that happen in the kitchen often esp when no one is looking! *Wink*

Cook on as you scribe! and keep an eye on that bird!*Chicken**Star*

eyestar
** Image ID #1976760 Unavailable **
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Review of Fingerprints 2  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Fire* Congrats! You're receiving a gift from "Invalid Item"  ! The Solar Package has been ordered for you from: Nixie🦊 and includes five poetry reviews !! Enjoy! *Fire*

Hi Moarzjasac! I was intrigued by the title and them of your poem and smiled at your tag line!*Laugh*

This short free flow poem began with a vivid whimsical image where I imagined children with dirty or painty fingers messing up surfaces or teen graffitti. I really liked the idea of these as self expressions even though may be momentary. Brilliant concept.

The comparison in the query about how we affect hearts is evocative as well. You leave us to imagine the positive and negative of both prints.

I enjoyed reading the playful words in the first verse. They drew me in.*Smile*

I liked how you began in the physical plane and then invited us to ponder in another. I so appreciate being invited to consider perspectives. Well done!

I don't know why you need a capital on "smooth"?*Confused*--typo or purpose?

Thanks for sharing this musing. *Starstruck* Keep the ink flowing and write on!

eyestar

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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Dragon*Hi Huntersmoon, Dreamtime is so glad that our prompt appealed to your muse, enchanting to enter"DreamTime Dragon's Poem Contest" ! *Bigsmile* Here are my brief comments on your lovely scroll! *Fire*

*Dragon*This is eeloquent and enchanting.I was carried through time by the words of your ballad like verses. The imagery was vivid and the story rather romantic and sad as the dragon seeks still. I could so imagine the scene as the language reflected a olden time. I love the idea of them being held in timeless space. HIs "eyes flash in the evening sun" is a clever concept.

Your response to the prompt picture is so appealing to me and you say you don't do fantasy usually. This is fantastic tale!*Smile*

The structure is solid, balanced and rhythmic with its pleasing rhymes and flow.*Thumbsup*

No flaws could I locate. er... well, I did trip over "time's mists". It is hard to say. Maybe "mists of time" for smoother rendition? and ..er.. I felt some punctuation maybe needed after "upon the last" *Rolleyes* in verse 2.

I so felt for both the lady and the dragon in the tale. Maybe there is another story to come. *Wink*

Impressive crafting and entertaining creation! *Starstruck* Thanks for jumping in with your flair! *Smile* This is real tresure.

Keep the quill scribing! *Star*
eyestar

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1547
1547
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
*Balloonr*Welcome to WDC arishay! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you!*Delight*

Your ideal vision of the world without a harmful environment is one we can all aspire to create once more. I like the way this is like a meditation or fantasy that speaks to how powerful the mind can be.

The paragraph is filled with vivid images that convey the contrast of the natural pure world and the "pollution" caused by man. Good display.*Thumbsup*

A few glitches that I noticed:
*Bird*In the first line:
After "air to inhale" you could add a phrase about foul water to go with "no..air". then Make the line about fresh warter the next sentence on its own. eg, I imagine a world with pure water, clear like a mirror, green lands..."etc. the phrase "clear like mirror" needs to be near water, not the word "drink".

*Tree*Also, "frangrance" ahsa typo--"fragrance". "Unpleasent" is "unpleasant"

*Sun* By "fireflights" do you mean "fireflies"? I really like the word "irritating " for lights of the town. i so agree they block the night sky so no one may even know what starry night looks like. *Wink*

Is there a word missing here: "only word came to mind"?

This is a lovely dream sequence and worth a little edit. *Smile* I like the philopsphical "pondering" at the end. Was it ever real? It can be hard to imagine--especially if one has been only in a city. Thanks for sharing the "fool's dream"---fools have been known to bring magic. So let's keep dreaming.*Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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1548
1548
Review of Praise the Writer  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Delight*Hit blue witch! I was cruising the Random Review page and this popped up! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you!*Smile*

This poem is unique in theme and rather entertaining. The conversation between author and reviewer is well conceived and I could imagine the the tone of each one quite clearly. I like how the reviewer gets a little more critical as the poem continues and as the author expresses some disagreeement on the way. Well done.

I enjoyed reading it aloud and it has a balanced structure with consistent rhyme scheme that added to the flow.

The rhythm wasn't totally even but it didn't detract for the read. I only tripped over verse 7, line 2--it seemed wordy compared to your other lines. I think the words "have to" or the "truly" threw it off. Removing one of these would help the flow, I feel. *Wink*

The placement on the page is appealing and the coloured font emphasizes the different speakers. Effective touch!

This satirical poem is totally fun and does indeed make fun of this theme. Brilliant concept and expression! *Starstruck*

Thanks for sharing your gift!

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
1549
1549
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Welcome to WDC vaniinstitute.! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you!*Delight* I found this item on the random review page. II was curious to know what GATE was. *Smile*

I understand that the article is concerns this test and how it can help students get better opportunities for higher education. Beginning with the definition of the GATE was helpful and you follow with lots fo details about advantages of doing well on it. the bullet list works well for this. Your summary paragraph also included how to prepare.

It is a serious toned narrative and I wondered how you might make it more friendly and inviting while maintaining the key points. It would depend on who your audience is or who you are writing it for.

A few things I noticed:
"lakhs of students...appears" I got stuck here as I wanted to say "appear" in "lakhs" is a plural. I am not sure what this words means though, so I coudl be wrong. "I thought it meant "lots or groups of students".

In the last paragraph in the line beginning: "Going through..." "analyze" needs to be "analyzing"

I think you need the word "For" before "Those who couldn't make it..., this exam..". I had to go back and read it to understand it grammatically. The last line is confusing to me: "Prefereing the GATE books..?*Confused*

I would revise a little so at the end you restate your thesis.

For the look on the page, I would indent the pargraphs and leave a space between the paragraph ending in "fields" and the list of advantages.

I feel this would be helpful information for students interested in these fields to know.*Star* Thanks for sharing your wisdom on this topic.

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **



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1550
1550
Review of Haiku 0008  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Star* HI stargazer. I really enjoyed the concrete vision you create here in this haiku--a vivid atmosphere I can see, hear and feel! Though haiku do not usually have titles, this one is evocative and signals what it coming on many levels. It may give away too much, so maybe leave it off the page itself and let the haiku speak.

Words like "hush" and "flash" as nouns really struck a chord. *Thumbsup* I imagine the star piercing the sky as the sound pierced the quiet night. I like the connection.

I am all set for a night star watching and then the surprise of a mountain lion! *Smile*

Thanks for sharing your potent expression. *Starstruck*

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