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1426
1426
Review of Laughter  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Fire* Hi lina! I am happy to offer this review as the last part of yourNuclear Packagefrom "Invalid Item"  ! Enjoy!

*Fire* I like the cinquain form as there are various wasy to create them! The title and them of this one appealed to me and as I read it , I felt it had a flavour of haiku as well.

*Fire*The imagery here is vivid and the concept of the lightness "floating" is a neat contrast to the heavier "devour". The comparison of children's "delight" to flowers is wonderful too.

*Sun*The form is well constructed and I enjoyed reading it aloud. It has a potent tone. I really could imagine the image of the wind carrying laughter. I am still thinking about the "devouring" part. LOL

*Fire* I wonder if "spread" needs tot be "spreads" to match the singular word "delight". *Wink* Also I think the space between "laughter" and the rest of the poem could be dropped. I like the purple font!

*Fire*Thanks for sharing this deligthful poem that inspires joy! Well done!*Starstruck* Keep you ink flowing as you follow your muse and write on!

eyestar
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1427
1427
Review of The Memories  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Fire* Hi Shana! I am happy to offer this review as part of your Electric Packagefrom "Invalid Item" !

*Fire*I liked the intensity of the voice and pace in this free style poem. it felt dramatic aas the mind races it self to out run memories which threaten to control and entomb.*Thumbsup*

*Fire*It captures the essence of fear brilliantly in the way you speak. And fear does create falsehoods in the mind to make us think that the Soul-the Being of us could ever be overwhelmed or broken by ephemeral past memories.

*Fire*I like how you built up the tension as we are not sure what you're running from until the end! Good show!!

*Fire*The questions within are evocative and invite us to ponder and want to know more. The final decison of I can't allow" could be stronger if it was 'I will not" though it would have a different connotation. "cannot" implies struggle. "will not" suggests decision and power. It all depends on what you want to convey. They both work!

*Fire* I like the present moment stream of cosnciousness style that is immediate.

*Fire* Thanks for sharing this expressive creation. *Starstruck* Keep following your muse and write on!

eyestar
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1428
1428
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Fire* Hi Lynda! I am happy to offer this review as part of yourNuclear Packagefrom "Invalid Item" !

*Fire*I was lured by your poetic title and the idea really fit lighthouses! Well chosen!

*Fire*This is truly interesting portrayal of lighthouse history. You capture our imagination with your opening lines and give us a sense of the importance of these flashlights! *Thumbsup*

*Fire* The brief history of the earliest light house is well wrtitten and fascinating and the contrast with the latter one is effective. The detail of these latter ones gave me a vivid and vibrant picture of it workings and the life of a light house keeper. It is amazing what they could do and the amount of care and effort they took.. The glass lanterns were a piece of work!

*Fire* I really had a snese fo the author's interest and honouring of these light houses and keepers. It drew my attention to care too.

*Fire*In the last two paragaphs where you tell of the potential experiences of the keeper, it felt like you were talking about one keeper in particular instead of generally. eg when you say : "he thought he would be swept.." It is as if maybe you are quoting from a journal.

*Fire*I am sorry it stopped. I see that you could continue the story to the more modern ways and the now a rather dying art in these days of technology. Not as romantic!

*Fire* I am not sure what the lInk text here note is and the Sidebar notations..*Wink*
It is cool to know the 7 wonders of the ancient world, not sure exactly why they are here except as footnote perhaps.

*Fire*I really enjoyed reading this little document in which you make the topic come to life! Well done! *Starstruck*

eyestar
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1429
1429
Review of The Diamond  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Fire* Hello Huntersmoon. It is my pleasure to offer this review as part of your Solar Packagefrom "Invalid Item" ! *Smile*

*Fire*Wow! This is impressive as etheree and shape poem as well. The title appealed to me and it was a great surprise to see the diamond shape too. I can imagine the thought and effort that went into its exact creation. *Thumbsup*

*Sun*The description of the diamond is quite imaginative and I like what you did with the word "junkyard". Vivid evocative imagery.
Awesome personification! The idea of "gathering brilliance form the stars" is fantastical. I love it!*Delight*

*Fire*The form is correctly composed according to your handy definition (I counted} and you have captured the essence of what is inside the diamond with flair! The qualities you give it make sense. It is romantic too.

*Sun*Thank for sharing the amazing creation. Kudos to you for such a unique idea. I bow to the word wizard muse of yours.*Starstruck*


eyestar
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1430
1430
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
*Star*Hi Summertime! I love your haiku as they have vivid images and call me to read beyond your words! I can play in my own understanding of your meaning. I have been learning haiku myself and struggle to do it right like the ancients did! so I am so glad to read yours and offer my comments--only my point of view. Take what makes sense and leave the rest.

*Butterflyo*Your traditional format with 7/7/5 and your modern versions are well done. I t is challenging to create good haiku so I am impressed. I struggle myself but you have a good eye for observing and using few words to capture the essence of a moment.

*Butterflyr*In number one I saw the village and liked the contrast of the rain and rainbow. "garden no longer thirsty" is awesome!

*Butterflyg*Number two you leave it open for me to play with what the fluttering is *Delight*and have the contrast with celebration and work. Ilove that natue celebrates always. We should too! LOL

Number 3 is a lovely chain about fun at the creek that is charming. In verse two I thought the first line was too long in keeping with the form. I wanted to know who was peeking and who was listening?
OOPS ! "peak" needs to be "peek" *Wink*

*butterflyy*I would say there are some senryu verse here--as they deal with people and music,. Senryu is like haiku only haiku is about nature only and senryu has people, emotions, issues etc. They are cousins and often seen together. *Wink*

*Butterflyv*I loved the idea of fairy dust as you stomp! LOL I am not sure it is haikuish but I love the magical element. "clapping their wings" is a wonderful visual.

*Starstruck*I feel you are really developing a gift for this form. Wow! You just keep on weaving these webs as the muse guides you!*Star*
Here is some fairy dust...*Starb**Starr**Starv*
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1431
Review of Summer Ritual  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Fire* Hi huntersmoon! This review is part of yourSolar Packagefrom "Invalid Item" ! *Delight*

*Fire*Wow! This is an absolutely splendid haiku chain with some senryu flavour{as it is about human activity)! *Thumbsup*

*Sun*I am so impressed with the evocative verses with vivid images that suggest fun in the summer washing a vehicle. It is well conceived especially as you could not use the obvious words! I could so enter into your vision and the last line reminded me of summer nights sitting on the hood of the car watching stars too. I liked the image of the sun flames dancing. The car so polished it shone. Superb!

*Star* I enjoyed your descriptive replacement words Like "sudsy", " gleaming hood" and the mix in verse one is brilliant! *Bigsmile*

*Sun*The verses were in haiku format in lines and syllable, nature theme, clear seasonal word and descriptive of a moment in time. The subject matter did have human element/activity reflective of senryu so this feels like a hybrid.*Wink*

*Fire*The synonym for water in the first verse last line is awesome. And I like the shift from the sunset to the childhood memories in the last verse.
The concept in the second line of verse two is interesting. I dwell wondering if the memory is faded by the sun or the tshirt. *Wink*

*Sun* I am no pro on haiku and its challenges and there may be glitches here but I could really enter into the journey here, each line inspired a memory or understanding of the experience and what is visually observed in sun and water and soap bubbles. Fantastic wizardry!

*Starstruck*Thanks for weaving this vivid dream so eloquently . It was fun!

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1432
Review of Weavers  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Star*HI Nixie! Wow! This is a unique and original story on the theme of the Moirai! I like the idea of looking multi culturally for similar mythical content.
The picture is a lovely visual and having it woven into the story lends authenticity as does the bit of the language. The names also fit the setting and the Slavic culture from which this tale spins.

I was intrigued by the mysticism woven into the mudane story line--the idea that they too were fated to meet. Having Gregor keep thinking about her -like an obsession gave the idea of a mind link or energy that can't be denied. Also cool that it is the woman who knows these things and hopes he will be ok with her beliefs in the end.

I like how you began in the present and had him go back in memory to the early meeting and relationship and then bring it back to the present. It no tonly gives us the background in an interesting way but gives the idea of retrospect--like he is looking for signs to the wierd thing happening now.
The second paragaph has the 2nd line as incomplete sentence and the last line as well. maybe some punctuation neded to connect them ?*Wink*

Gregor doesn't seem very attractive as "oafish" and not the type to really buy into the other world. Good job for contrast with Kazia. He is lured by Kazia's beauty and old worldish charm and she connectd with him. It felt like fate. *Wink* Aweome job with description and the dialogue was natural and purposeful in giving the impression of kazia's foreigness.

I was captivated by the three fates as they worked and the interplay of Kazia and the resistant Gregor. I love the naturalness of his "trying to get his authority and stay in this reality! "Manly-hood " is rather strange expression.

How you unfold the true love that wins him over at the end is brilliant and well done too. So romantic and magical!

I so enjoyed this wonderfully conceived tale that is reflective of the theme of the Fates. You not ony show what they do but had the whole episode unfold as if destined from the beginning of Kazia's and Gregor's lives. Fantastic! The prompt is well met in this unique story. I love it! *Starstruck*
Keep on weaving as it is a mastery. *Delight*
eyestar

This review was gifted by Elle - on hiatus throught the "Invalid Item" . It is my comment as a reader!
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1433
Review of Driving  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Fire* Congrats! You're receiving a gift from "Invalid Item"  ! The Nuclear Package has been ordered for you from: Elle - on hiatus and includes a mix of six reviews of any items in your port!! Enjoy! *Fire*

HI Dance_Monkey. I so enjoyed reading this moving little memory piece. It is so sincere and real that I could feel the emotional vibe espcially at the end. What a treasured memory of both mom and dad. My dad was ill when he taught me so I recall much criticism. Lucky I also went to the driving school and didn't have to do clutch etc. Way too much for my hyper mind! LOL

The writing flowed well and I was drawn to read right to the end. I like the voice. I liked the opening intro that leads into what driving means to you even now. I can so identify with a father's cryptic unsatisfying remarks!! Kids want answers. LOL

The title is fitting and opens itself to the you whole experience of driving and what it means , rather than jsut the learning to drive (firsts-as the them of the contest) I wonder if after the contest you might change to genre to Bio as well, as this has the vibe of a memoire and your philosophy.

In the lines " Leaving all my worries ...to nowhere" there is no active verb. You could say "I drive...to nowhere." or have a semi or colon after the line before this one to connect it somehow. The latter choice is a better fit.

I enjoyed the image in the last verse--the freedom and memory!

Thanks for sharing this moving reflection from your life. *Starstruck* I enjoyed reading and it evoked my own memories.

eyestar
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1434
1434
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Sun*Hail Grum! I am happy to do another review I owe you on behalf of the Martell Newsfeed challenge in the"King's Landing updating " .*Delight*

I love rhyming couplets and the form is an appropriate one for this philosophical theme. It makes it fun and softens any tough advice. LOL It is easier to take in rhyme. You have a gift for this style! *Thumbsup*

This poem has a wise message and I enjoyed the imagey of the armour, the rainbow's power, and the idea that denial cuts like knife. That hate is a demon thought is a potent idea to reflect the bad vibe of hate.

It is so pleasant to read this aloud as the flow and rhyme are balanced. The only spaces I noticed the syllable count off were in verses 2, 5, 6, 7. The rest were all 8/8 count. A minor glitch and did not really detract from the read. *Wink* In verse 2, "just" is really not useful and you can even the flow by dropping it.

The only other place stood out were the use of "And" twice in a row in verses 11 and 12. I know "and " is not a strong joiner and does make sense. But if another word would suit better it is considered better to use it especially if two are close together. I see the aptness of the v 11 one but in verse 12 I think changing it to "I" as in "I leave.." would be potent here for the message.

I like how you got the key words of you title all in one line in verse 8! *Cool*

Thanks for sharing your sage wisdom and allowing me to play in your verses. Your gift shines. *Starstruck*

Highest regards and light on the path as you Write on! *Sun*
eyestar

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1435
1435
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Fire* Congrats! You're receiving a gift from "Invalid Item"  ! The Fossil Fuel Package has been ordered for you from: Elle - on hiatus ! Enjoy! *Fire*

*Fire*Hi Huntersmoon! I have studied myths and so it was cool to see this title! The little note at the bottom is very helpful to those who may not be familiar with the Fates. *Smile*

*Sun*This creative poem, with its wonderful rhyme and clear images was fun to read. I like the way you have the speaker experience the meeting of the fates in a meditation that lead to sleep and dream. Makes a lovely cycle as you end when you begin. It mimics the theme in a way.

*Star*The verse were organized coherent. I did not discern a definite rhythm but it did not detract form my reading aloud. Some verses like verse 5 have a more even flow. I liked the sound of the first line here too. It just struck me for some reason. *Wink*
The last line in verse 8 was cool for the talent of the goddess.
I did want to drop "slowly" in verse 4.
The vocabulary really rocked to illustrate each craft and held interest and fit the theme!

*Fire*The descriptions in the vision were vivid and detailed and each fate was honoured in its own verse. The essence of each goddess is portrayed with authenticity. I could really imagine the cutter sitting in thought to decide the end.

*Sun*The way you had them appear caring as they teach the sleeper is shown in their dialogue and makes sense to their mission.

*Fire* The magical glimmer at the end was evocative of the dimensional spaces of seen and unseen world. It incites one to ponder. *Delight*

*Starstruck*Thank you for this engaging tribute to the Mythical goddesses. It was a real treat to read your weave!*Smile*

*Fire* Follow the thread of the muse and weave on!

eyestar
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1436
Review of Mousie  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
*Laugh*Hi whiskerface! Thanks for entering in the "Invalid Item" .
This review or "Mousie"  is on behlaf of the contest panel.

*Cat*This poem is delightful and I had to laugh at the mouse's persistence and then how the speaker makes the best of the situation: the ultimate threat! LOL I am dealing with mice at presetn and one bold one comes right up on my computer desk in daytime and looks at me. I have been trying to catch him.! *Smirk* NO idea where he disappears so fast. I miss my cat.

*Cat*It is fun to read and has lost of vivid detail as the mouse moves from place to place in the house. The rhyme is well done with some effective enjambments. I read the flow aloud with ease. Well done.

*Cat*I smiled at you talking to the mouse, the image of him curled up and the snore, and the spray cheese training was too funny! *Bigsmile*
I have a mouse in my new car too so I am sooooo not amused!

*Cat* I was a bit confused at first when I got to the towel and comb part because I think you jumped so quickly in time from the window scene. But I did catch on that this was happening during a space of time with each little finding of the mouse.

*Cat*I think it would look better if the verse were single spaced and leave the double spaces between each verse.

*Cat* I was entertained from beginning to end and enjoyed the images and antics. I liked the action words and flow in the verse "to gnaw..."*Thumbsup* You have quite an imagination! A traiend mouse.! Can you train mine?

*Cat*Thanks for offering this well told and cute little mouse tale with its revengeful twist! *Star**Laugh*

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1437
1437
Review of A Dozen Roses  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
*Laugh*Hi Huntersmoon! *Delight* Thanks for entering the "The Humorous Poetry Contest" .
This review for "A Dozen Roses"  for the contest panel.

*Heart*I burst out laughing at the overheard conversation about the vase! *Shock**Bigsmile* Very well placed in the mundane setting so the erotica is not expected! Well done. The romantic title gives nothing away.

*Tulipr*I liked the speaker's tone and his reaction to what he overheard. That others were laughing too made me wonder if they heard it too.

*Tulipy*The poem was fun to read with its consistent rhyme and easy flow. A few places were off kilter in rhythm but did not detract for the entertainment value of the read. You used a number of "and" and two in the last verse.

*Tulipr*I laughed at the ladies' conversation and the straight face of the one with the innocent query. I could just imagine the speaker's double taek as he took in what was said . *Thumbsup* That he wanted to come back and stand in another long line to learn another ..em..lesson made me smile too! *Laugh*

*Heart*Thanks for offering this funny entertaining poem!*Star* I so enjoyed its unique theme.


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1438
Review of Earl Grey Tea  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Balloony*Hi Steve! *Delight* Thanks for entering the "The Humorous Poetry Contest" .
This review for "Earl Grey Tea"  for the contest panel.

*Coffeegr*Wow! An impressive poem in the style of Poe's Annabelle Lee. The rhyme and rhythm really mimicked the original and was such a pleasure to read aloud. I compared the version and this really rocks!

*Coffeegr* I had to laugh at the comical topic for for a darkish love tale. All this great fuss over Tea! Earl Gray, at that. *Laugh* Well conceived contrast. I laughed at the idea that he wasn't a "double dipper" and his concern of wasting a cup on one who didn't care as if it was crime.

*Coffeegr*The tone and voice was consistent and grew more intense as the poem went on and you built the tension. . He sounded like a tea addict! The bits of dialogue added drama and vivid descriptions made clear the action and setting.
Talk about over reaction at the violent end!*Bigsmile*

*Coffeegr*I enjoyed this entertaining piece with its exaggeration and high tone style, that suits the Earl of Gray! . I can imagine the effort and time it took to create such a fine structure. If there is flae it would not be for me to find! {though I noticed you used two adverbs with "ly" and I understand they my not be the best descriptors, certainly fit the lines.*Wink*

*Coffeegr*Thanks for offering this dramatic masterpiece to the contest.*Starstruck*


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Review of ME ON THE MENU  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Balloony*Hi SandraLynn! *Delight* Thanks for entering the "The Humorous Poetry Contest" .
This review for "ME ON THE MENU"  for the contest panel.

*Butterflyo*Oh, I hate pesky mosquitos but they adore me! The one in the room will find me though no one else ever notices.!LOL
This is too funny to consider as the details you use to describe the mosquito effects are so real! I can laugh if it is you--but really--not so funny when we sit and itch!! *Wink*
The topic of you poem has appeal and relevance and I am sure folks can relate.

*Butterflyr*The title rocks and has a comic vibe. The last lines ties the to ideas of eating outside and being eaten. Cool!

*Butterflyg*The poem was fun to read and in first two verses mimicked a mostquito in pace and buzzing! The rhyme was well done and I liked the repeated words that jumped from verse to verse like mosquitos.*Thumbsup*
Except in the last one--oversight or purpose?

*Butterflyv*The language was appealing and descriptive with original ideas like " sword of mint..", being a "smorgasboard" ( I can so relate to that one--why me??.) how we somehow "advertise". Brilliant! Not sure about the word "obviously".

*Butterflyo*Thank you for offering this amusing and entertaining poem. You have captured the experience of this nuisance in a delightful way which does make me laugh. *Star*


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1440
1440
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloony*Hi Angels in my Ear! *Delight* Thanks for entering the "The Humorous Poetry Contest" .
This review for "The Paper Clip's Lament"  is on behalf of the contest panel.

*Reading*The title sets the tone and stage for this poem and the idea is original so I had to smile as I considered what a paper clip might complain about. It stirred curiosity. I had to laugh at the reason for the coming demise of its usefulness and while funny, I felt quite sad for it. You created that mood vibrantly.

*Reading*The poem is free in form and suits the odd theme and the third person voice is consistent.
I wondered how much more potent it might be if the actual paperclip was personified and spoke. Present tense works here!

*Reading*Lots of detail create a vivid image of the view of the paperclips. The first two verses are my favourite and the idea of "plastic prison" and "envy active life", "shrinking world" and the death that is their destiny are brilliant. Coloured paperclips are attractive and fun so I can imagine how they must feel to be ignored.

*Reading*The third verse is the weakest with it rather long line with its laborious "managed to escape".
I wonder about something more active here.
It is interesting that you say they "gaze" at the thing they do not want. I often think the word is a positive wishing attraction. So I get the idea that they know it si their fate and can't avoid it's call. Good show! It ties into "stare" at the start. *Thumbsup*

*Reading*Thanks for sharing this unique entertainment in the contest. *Star* I still have pretty paper clips and enjoy using them. Staples put holes in the paper. LOL


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1441
1441
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Laugh*Hi Stuart! Thanks for entering the "The Humorous Poetry Contest" !
This is a review of "The Humorous Poetry Contest"  on behalf of the contest panel.

*Glassesy*I really had to laugh at this self assessment and it is awesome how you kept that twist from view until the end! LOL
The building of the drama was well done as I was shocked with the insults at the beginning.

*Glassesy*The poem is freestyle with no apparent formatted structure. It suits the reflective type of content. There is some rhyme which adds interest and fun. The questions are apt and add to the vibe. It was fun to read aloud and it did have an original coherent flow. FAv verses to read are 2, 3 ,4 and the second last one as they have a nice even flow.

*Glassesy*You have some really funny and descriptive details of this person. eg "chins numbering four", "double-bagger,

*GlassesY*The voice is potent, consistent to the end and I could here the lament and a bit of disgust. I wondered at the lines 2 and 3--they kinda say similar things.

*Glassesy*I burst out laughing at the last two verses! *Thumbsup* I am sure we can all relate to that mirror! Brilliant solution.*Laugh*

*Glassesy*Thanks for creating and offering this amusing creation and let's hope we are not that hard on ourselves. LOL *Star*


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1442
Review of Polliwog Blues  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Laugh*Hi J. Edwin Phillips! Thank you for entering the "The Humorous Poetry Contest" !
This is a review of "Polliwog Blues"  for the contest.

*Bulletg*I burst out laughing at the end of your poem! Good show!*Laugh*

*Bulletb*This poem was delightful to read and the voice and point of view of the frog, who wished he still had a tail, was potent. I could hear his total dismay and sorrow at his fate and the joy at his having the best of both words at one time.
The descriptive detail really brought the frog's plight to life as he reminisces.

*Bulletg*The incident with the turtle was kind of funny, not to the frog.

*Bulletg* The poem has consistent rhyme and effective vocabulary for the theme and its drama. The tense changes from present to past to present is well done. I liked phrases like " tiny tad" and "tail that whirled" and wanted to drop "then" from "dive and then dart" for a quicker active flow. The last line rocked and fit the tone. *Bigsmile*

*Bulletr*Some lines could perhaps be tightened up a bit to fit a more even flow but the story was moving and amusing.

*Bulletg*Thanks for offering this entertaining tale of a no tail! *Star* I really enjoyed it. I think kids would like this too!

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1443
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Review of Oh Cramp 22 lines  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Laugh*Hi Yellow rose! Thank you for entering the "The Humorous Poetry Contest" !
This is a review of "Oh Cramp 22 lines"  for the contest.

*Burstp**Laugh*I loved the title of this nonsensical poem and I like the evocative play on the word as another one without the "m" came to mind and by the end of the drama, one might say it too. LOL Interesting visuals.

*Burstb*The freestyle, without rhyme or rhyhm pattern really suits the theme in which the body is totally contorted. It was reminiscent of an old song "my knee bone connected to.." thought your connection are almost impossible but get your point across. I have to laugh considering the contortions to which end they lead. After all that nonsensical writing we would have to agree with the conclusion.

*Burstbl*I liked how the last verse seemed to be a faster pace and the comparison to the police siren is potent. That is loud!
I burst out laughing at line 4 in the last verse. *Laugh* I could imagine it! Motor mouth! or I saw a gruesome puppeteer. {totally off topic so I am wierd}

*Burstbl*Thanks for offering this highly inventive and comical poem on writer's plight. *Star*
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1444
1444
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Sun**BalloonP*HI DyrHearte! I am happy to do a review with to celebrate you!*Delight*

This is an enchanting story with a twist. In the beginning I thought the main character would meet an elf or fairy creature but didn't expect the kind of encounter he had. You said "she wasn't all human" which I thought was odd as we thought she was an elf kind. This implies a hybrid mix. I wanted to say "at all human" but..mm? Or maybe she was a human so used to living in the forest.

The descriptions were detailed and made for vivid visuals in the forest, the chamelon aspect and the attack. The Point of view of the main character was consistent and we get a great deal about him from his inner thoughts during the escapade. That the knife and beauty of the girl held him captive is effective contrast.

Interesting he gave the bird a personality by saying "curiously looked down..and laughed".

I liked the fey creature and her mystical magic, like appearing and mind reading. She did everything without speaking. She is still a mystery.
The line where he mentions paying for his curiousity feels like a message.
I was thrown out abit with the phrase "on the way to a far sea". I didn't see the point of it as we are focusing on him drinking .It just struck me oddly.

There could be a lot more to the story in a sequel. You did a good job fo building a world without actually saying where it was--the outfits, nature, forest, drinking from stream, gold pouch, dagger, fey energy all serve to give us a sense of place and old time. *Smile*

Thanks for this entertaining and evocative expression! *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!

Eyestar
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Review of Days Of Our Lives  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Sun*Hail Grum! I am happy to do another review as promised to celebrate you for your support on behalf of the House Martell in the"King's Landing updating " .*Delight*

This is a beautifully rendered "exploration" and refelction on life and time. I like how you begin with a kitten's frolic and unawareness of time and then contrast to a person's life. An original hook into the topic. The first verse drew me in with its charming vivid description.

The idea of "squandered time" is a common idea and gives us the idea that the poet is indeed thinking back to "golden days" when he like the kitten perhaps did not dwell on the deeper mysteries. The poet shows awareness of the past being cast and looks forward to the future that can be lived from now on. Having a love to walk with adds a romantic element as well.

I enjoyed reading the verse aloud for the consistent rhyme and fairly smooth rhythm. I think it is freestyle as it has no specific count.
I liked "The past is past and cast in stone". It was cool to say.
A few places were tricky to read in flow: "hurrying need" in verse 4. Line 4 in verse 5 tripped me up too.

Thanks for sharing this wonderful piece with inherent wisdom. Keep up the "exploration" and write on!*Starstruck*

eyestar

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1446
1446
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Sun*Hail arakun! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you on behalf of the House Martell in the"King's Landing updating " .*Delight*

*Lightning*I have been reading some cool flash fiction pieces of late and found this contest mentioned. It is quite an undertaking to run a contest daily. Wow!

The Daily Flash contest page is aesthetically appealing with its flashy banner, centered design with readable fonts that are accessible to all. The colours are easily visible as well.

The rules are well explained and the expectations for pieces is clearly emphasized. Info on bitem and suggestion of a book time is helpful guidance. I always think a littleteahcing on these thigns is a good way to avoid error especially with new folks. (and saves emails maybe)

I think this is the first time I have ever seen a directive about not giving comments in the review section at the bottom as it is of the contest page itself. *Smile* I have seen folks answer or ask question in the review sections so it does happen. Good for you for guarding against it up front.

I wondered why a word count wouldn't be required, but nice, when word count would count here.*Smile* I can see though, in the speed of the day one might forget and then be disqualified, which defeats the purpose of practiising daliy flash. so in all, it is a kind consideration on your part.
The daily prize is gerneous and doable for a daily contest here you will need funds more readily available.*Thumbsup*

Thanks for creating a wonderful contribution to WDC authors and for your committment to them. *Starstruck*

Highest regards and light on the path as you Write on! *Sun*
eyestar

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A cheering team of Mages supporting House Martell.
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Review of TARA, TARA, TARA  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Sun**BalloonP*HI GaelicQueen! I am happy to do a review with to celebrate you!*Delight*

*Cat*I couldn't resist a cat story and the title was calling. It evoked the idea that one is calling the cat and, of course, the cat doesn't necessarily come. LOL Lovely name for a cat.

I was enchanted with the cat in heaven at the start of the tale. I could imagine Tara just lazily groomng on the rain bow birdge doing her thing, not seeing the need to rush anywhere! I msiled at the idea of the 9th life mission.

The opening dialogue hooked me as I was curious what the urgency was! Good show!
The line "Angela guiding Tara" felt like some word was missing or maybe it needs to be "guided? *Confused* It threw me off abit.

We jump ahead in time into another converstion without notice or indicator. Maybe a lead in here.-or divider.

The description and action of the attack was vivid and dramatic. The dialogue was purposeful and portrayed the irritation of the dog brilliantly. I liked the bicycle spoke cards. I recall doing that as a kid. I imagine it did drive some crazy. I liked when you have the ears twitch to the rhythm of them. Nice detail. *Thumbsup*

This was fun to read and kept me entertained. Cool to be able to write a whole episode in a few words.*Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!
Eyestar


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1448
1448
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Fire* Hi Octoberskelecountry! This review is part of yourHydroPackagefrom "Invalid Item" . *Fire*

*Clock*This piece with is appealing evocative title is really original is scope and form. I admire the eclectic! The title suits the theme and the clock image is effective for time and death theme. It feels like a warning--as we know noone can escape and we never know death's time

Definitely a free style composition and I like the effect of the short verse with the longer commentaries between. It felt like two voices or of two in one mind. I can relate to that. The tick tock and poems bits have a quick pace as I read them.
I wanted to drop "silently " in the second verse of poem. Not sure why--flow? or how does it look "silently coming to a stop?" *Rolleyes*
I liked how you weaved the cliches in and the idea of the broken deal. "takes away the blaze" is brilliant. *Sun*
My favourite is the "tricky...grave"--as an interesting pondering.

I thought the meaning of the word coffin was fascinating and an apt way to introduce your theme. How it came to be place for the soon to decay body is reasonable I guess but what was precious has already left. History is fascinating.*Cool*

Thanks for the quirky ride into these superstitious depths as the clock ticks on.*Star* Write on until....
the end.....*Clock*

eyestar
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1449
1449
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Sun*Hail Liam! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you on behalf of the House Martell in the"King's Landing updating " .*Delight*

I found this item on the review pages and felt called to read it. It is an interesting consideration and you make valid points about how the way we say something or break into syllables, or stress accents can effect our reading of the piece. I knew the issue with words like "leisure" and you would have to be aware of the fact it has two different pronunciations. Your solution to check a dictionary is wise and simple. As authors we need to be come more aware of these nuances espcially if we are also reviewing. Good points.

The voice and tone of this piece is instructive and you organized it well with paragraphs outling several ways Pronunciation may impact the reading of a poem. Examples portray each issue cleverly and I like how you referred to it being different than in stories and talk about the "author's voice". It was easy to follow the thinking and written well for the intent.

Giving advice about how to review is helpful as not many may know how to approach the "complex issue". I like "you encounter an unusual “bump in the road” that interrupts flow.." That is how I approach poems --something doesn't sit right!

This article was interesting and informative and offers a "light " on this tricky issue. Thanks for the clarity and sharing your knowledge for our benefit. *Starstruck*

Highest regards and light on the path as you Write on! *Sun*
eyestar

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1450
1450
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Sun**BalloonP*I Lexi! I am happy to do a review with to celebrate you!*Delight*

*Bird*I found this new (to me} poetry contest on the Contest page and I like poetry so I am checking it out. Round 51! Where have I been? LOL I liked the elegant colourful title that sets up the page.

The rules are clear and detailed and the underlined key phrases catch attention.
It says that you review during the contest but go back later when judging but you do not specify whether editing is allowed until deadline or stops once you post here. Might be helpful to know these parameters.
The page is clean and the date due in colour is emphatic. I wonder at the use of red as I have heard that some folks have difficulty reading red. Maybe bold it as well.

The way you use prompts for this is orginal in that you give a series of titles and authors get to pick form them. I like the variety and I think it can appeal to more authors than just one prompt that may may not appeal to their muse. *Wink* Also, being able to enter more than one entry is different. *Thumbsup* I wanted to centre them on the page for aesthetic appeal but that is just me.

We can't have too many poetry contest in my book so welcome back with this one! You have inspired authors yet again to display ther craft.*Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!
Eyestar


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