Some of your sentences are curiously phrased, which made me wonder if English is your first language. For example, you're advocating rotten leaves rather than peat moss, correct?

The garden can be filled with the leaves that are rotten by avoiding the use of peat moss.

I rewrote the sentence to ensure your message came through. My brain works with this structure. Am I correct in my comprehension?

The usage of peat moss can be eliminated by choosing rotten leaves to fertilize the soil.

[carrying out the work] by walking down to the desired place
This is another curious phrase (for me). I don't understand what it means. Are you suggesting people walk or bicycle to work whenever possible?

From what I've read, punctuation in a poem must be consistent throughout. Punctuation controls the flow and rhythm. The differing punctuation distracted me and took me from the image you were weaving. I'll leave the decision to you without specific suggestions.

If you look at paragraph 5, you'll notice how many numbers are involved. Consider writing some of them out, so that part of the article won't stand so far apart from the worded ones.

33 pounds of fossil fuel and 58 gallons of fresh water.
Technically, both these numbers should be spelled out. But since there are two in the same sentence, varying works.
Thirty-three pounds 58 gallons

There's a bit of waffling on verb tense in the first few paragraphs. Some of the time, you're writing in present tense, allowing the reader to see in real time. When you switch to past tense, it's easier to read. Choose one or the other. You can guess I'm advocating past tense.

This was a "clean copy." I found no grammar or spelling issues.

in my opinion.
We know it's your opinion. This is your editorial.

Here is the part you can ignore, because I'm thinking out loud and also considering how I approach my own writing.

This is more story craft than anything else, but I'm often put off my something happening causing something. (The incense tickles her nose.) The rest of the sentence didn't seem germane to the story. It was almost as if you were forcing the smell of incense into the plot to create a sensory experience.

Yes, it shows the lighter side of her, which is important, and that's why I said in the beginning you could ignore me while I explored teh feelings inside after reading the sentence. It drew attention in a way that was contrary to the dream in my mind. If that makes any sense at all.