What a wonderful Brushstroke on this canvas of beautiful lights. I really cannot see how it could
be improved. You have captured the very night and
as I close my eyes I see in the distance the rising
sun. Thank you for sharing this lovely piece with us,
and I promise to return to visit again very soon.
Sincerely
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I must say I think you did a splendid job on this piece, for as you say this is not an easy form to
write. This is my favorite stanza, but I like them
all.
'Fireflies, with passion, burn up too soon, though,
With desire, they throw their weight in the fray.
It’s in the nature of the things that glow.'
Continue the great writing and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
M Duci
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What a lovely little poem! You presented a wonderful painting of which I could see and feel all the emotions and expressions of one who goes out and buys themselves a card in order not to feel alone. I even felt the raindrops that fell from her cheeks. You are a wonderful storyteller! Please keep writing and
welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
M Duci
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The first thing that drew me to this little shorty was of course the title. 'Who Will Hug The Porcupine.'
Before reading the poem I'd imagined that perhaps you had hugged him.
Its just something so sad about a Porcupine, maybe the fact that nobody wants to be his friend. I love your piece and wouldn't it make a very good story, something like "How Porcupine Saved My Life." Continue the great writing Lord, and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
M Duci
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You have taken on a truly remarkable piece of writing, and you have written a splendid character profile of the beautiful mad woman who lost it when she was rejected by Hamlet and more when her father dies.
You've shown a picture of a woman in love in part 1, and in part 2 we watch as she goes mad.
I look forward to the continued writings and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
M Duci
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I enjoyed reading the story of Ashwini and Mark very much. By the end of the story I felt so happy because she had finally gotten over all the pain and love she'd been carrying on her shoulders for over four years.
What a talented writer you are and I hope you'll continue the journey forever. Thank you for sharing and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
M Duci
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What a wonderful outlook you have on life. You make life and all it surroundings so beautiful and bright.
I love this little piece and I love how it makes me feel. I believe that we can fly! It is just a matter of spreading our wings. Thank you so much for sharing this lovely poem and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
M Duci
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I can relate very well to this little cutie! I have
a wonderful friend who lives in another country and
sometimes I think I should move there as they cannot move here. But sometimes it's for the best we get the best of both Countries. Thank you for sharing and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
M Duci
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I too believe that strength comes from within, and
that it is not wrong to show weakness, for from showing weakness man can learn to become the strength that makes him strong. I had three sons and I taught them that it was okay to cry and I had friends who would say to their son's "big boy's don't cry" my words to them "my boy's are big boy's and it's okay for them to cry." Know man is an Island, the problem is they feel ashamed to cry. I'm a strong woman and I cry a lot. I cry while reading a beautiful poem or a sad poem then I feel better. Thank you for sharing and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
M Duci
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Thank you for this short read! You tell a very compelling story and no matter that it is short,
you've filled in all the cracks. I feel you've been
given a very special gift and I hope that you use it
well. Write, Write, Write. Thank you for sharing and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
M Duci
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You brought me to tears with this piece, and I hope that I won't read another tonight as heartbreaking as this one. I was told so many years ago by my wonderful, young and gifted parents that, 'God' will only put as much on you as you can handle. I remember telling one of my children that when he broke his leg in two places playing football, he was in so much pain. His word to me was, "Then he must have made very strong, because I don't think I can take one more bit of pain" he was ten then! And over the years we talk of that day and I know he has endured more pain since then but he will stay strong. Thank you so much for sharing and I'll send a copy of this to him to frame.
Sincerely
M Duci
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I love this darling poem, somehow you painted a wonderful picture of yourself and I hope you stick
to your guns. I love every line and look forward to reading more of your work very soon. I only have one little suggestion! A or Aw or Ah or I. It's up to you,
I wouldn't change you for the world.
'A may be an odd girl,
But I will rule the world!'
Sincerely
M Duci
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I love this little beauty, and even though it had a few imperfections, it still stands tall and goes right to the heart. I'm not so sure that these words were wrong because you wanted them to be or because they just happened to be little typo's. Thank you for sharing and Welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
M Duci
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I love to read anything that is for children! I have two of my grandchildren over for the weekend and I just read them this little cutie. They are still laughing. You are very good at writing for children and I will read to them again some of your other work because they enjoyed it so much.
Thank you for sharing and welcome to Writing.Com.
M Duci
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What a wonderful tribute to this person in your life!
You've been given a greater gift just for being there, greater then even you could know. He is your gift from God, and you are his gift. I don't believe that things happen by chance! People come into our lives for reasons we can never know, only God knows and we don't question God'. Thank you for sharing this lovely poem, and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
M Duci
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What a lovely little story of two people who didn't belong to one another, only to meet on line and take it a step further. Better to know before it had gone any further that most times online means! ONLINE.
Great piece and look forward to reading more of your work in the near future.
Sincerely
M Duci
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You are not only inspired by Poe your writing has
streaks of his genius genes running in your veins.
This is quite good and the pictures it conjures up are very believable. I can see this very pale figure with her arms outstretched on the bare floor. The blood running from the dagger into a crimson pool.
Thank you for sharing, and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
M Duci
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For a young man of fourteen you are certainly showing signs of being a great writer. This poem shows just how much promise you have and never give up on your dreams or writing. I did notice that you use small caps for I's. It will look much better using large caps. Keep up the wonderful writing and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
M Duci
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You are very much the poet, and quite good at it.
I enjoyed this one very much and it conjured up things from the past that made a remarkably impression of someone from years long ago past.
Thank you so much for sharing this one and welcome to Writing.Com. Keep up the great work.
Sincerely
M Duci
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Very short and very much to the point. I like that
in this free verse poetry of yours. I like all your
lines but the first two caught me a little by surprise.
But after reading them over again I fully understood their meaning. Thank you for sharing and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
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Sometimes life can lead us down many different paths, and we'll travel many crossroads in one short life time. You did a good deed by letting go of someone who had not yet experienced all that life has in store for them. You also did a good deed for yourself in not taking that person on the same path you traveled with the drugs and dropping out of school. I hope they found what they needed to make their life full, and I hope that you have found the life that will fulfill you. Your writing was done in very good taste, thank you for sharing.
Keep up the great writing, and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
M Duci
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This is my kind of writing, I loved reading every single line. You've painted a lovely picture of two lovers caught up in their own dream. Such a wonderful delight to read. My favorite lines although I love them all are:
'Effortless
Like the air we shared
In slumber moments before.'
Keep up the great writing and welcome to Writing.Com
Sincerely
M Duci
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I like this poem very much and I found myself looking for the riders face. I feel it has so much potential but it needs a little more clarifying. Like, was he a jockey, a race car driver, or was he riding a motorcycle? But over all a very good read. Just a few little fixings will make it better. Keep writing and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
M Duci
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heared-heard
noone-no one
borned-born
What are you blind?,-remove the coma.
watsin-not sure what this word means?
What a poem of pure sadness and strife! I hope that
one day the person will find it in her heart to forgive the person that made her life so unwanted.
You are a very gifted young women and I hope that you'll continue to write and share with us here at
Writing.Com. Welcome.
Sincerely
M Duci
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I'm so very happy to see that you are walking with 'His Spirit.' I feel that this is one such
place that one can come for letting go of anything that is not pleasant in their lives, and being able
to write and tell about it helps in more ways then
one. Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful
knowledge with us and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
M Duci
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