My suggestion for a title would be: "Sweet Dream's"
I love this little poem, and you've hung a very nice
canvas and extra special brush with just the right amount of paint. Thank you so much for sharing and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
M Duci
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Thank you for this touching love story. Told with such tender emotion, and what a visual picture you've drawn.
I can't begin to tell you how choked up I became upon learning his age and how he'd stuck to his promise all those years. He was a great and loving man you must be so proud of him. Thank you so much for sharing a bit of your life with me. I'll be back very soon to get more fried apple pie.
Sincerely
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It is such a sad thing to see that children have to be in the middle of a divorce and bitter custody fights.
But sometimes parent's don't realize just what price their child is paying until it is too late. I hope that your story will touch more parent's, if nothing more than to let them know; that if divorce is a must to try and make it as painless as they can for the children and for themselves. I hope that you are coping little friend.
You did a great job with your writing, keep writing.
Sincerely
M Duci
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I love these four lines, they speak so well of you.
I also like the presentation and word choices that you've choosen! Beautiful. Thank you for sharing and welcome to Writing.Com. I look forward to reading more from your site in the very near future.
Sincerely
M Duci
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What a tender loving way of expressing one's love for another. You do have a beautiful way with words and that is a very special talent. Thank you so much for sharing this lovely piece and welcome to Writing.Com.
I truly look forward to visiting again very soon.
Sincerely
M Duci
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I'd say you know how to land a knock out punch to the best of them. Eight lines, and you told a complete love story. Beautiful painting, beautifully written.
Thank you for sharing this little darling and welcome to Writing.Com. I look forward to visiting your site again very soon.
Sincerely
M Duci
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What a nice tribute to Ms Sylvia Plath, who left this world all too soon. A genius beyond her years and talented from the time she learned to speak. I've read many of her poems and her loose autobiography of her life 'The Bell Jar.' One my favorite pieces by Ms Plath is her 'The bee keeper's daughter.' Thank you for the interest and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
M Duci
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My heart goes out to you for the loss of this most precious child. As the mother of three son's I was
unable to carrie a girl child to full term not once
but twice, so I know the pain of what this must have
cost you. Yes I had my boy's and I loved them so dearly! But many a night I felt the tears roll down
for the two daughter's that did not live to be. Thank
you for sharing this touching poem and I pray that you have recovered.
Sincerely
M Duci
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I think you have said it all about what you dislike about yourself. Now I'd like to hear what it is you do like. Can you sparate the two? Can you find the answer in getting help for the one that controls these disorders in the body? I think you can I think you want to! Because you want to live. Thank you for sharing this story with us and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
M Duci
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What a wonderful talent you are for fourteen. Just reading your work and looking at your beautiful smile tells me you are just one of a kind. Your family must be so very proud of their little genius? After reading most of your work on the site, I am so very proud to be on the same site with the likes of you.
Keep those grades up and get plenty of rest. Thanks for being on Writing.Com.
Sincerely
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Oh! How I love this poem, it is just the perfect cousin scene. I have a cousin who is the world to
me. We are in business together and have been for
many years. Not once have we had a disagreement.
I will have to make her a copy of your poem and send
it to her just to let her know how deeply I feel.
Our mother's were sister's and so very close and she
is more like my mother then me. Thanks for sharing this beauty and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
M Duci
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Right off the top of your head really works for me.
I found it cute, witty, and very entertaining to say the least. Right off the top of your head I found not one error and I think this little fly dream is very, very sweet. Thank you so much for sharing and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
M Duci
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One of the hardest things in life is to let go and let God'. We all know this is what life is about and that it will never change. Yet we cannot face the letting go of our love ones we hold so close. I feel the same as you, and I am learning a little more each day to let go and except what I cannot change. Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful piece and every line is filled with beauty and love.
Welcome to Writing.Com and keep up the great writing.
Sincerely
M Duci
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Because this was written by and about an angel, I feel it a perfect five. I liked every line, every word. I really like how you express your words so beautifully.
Thank you so much for sharing and welcome to Writing.Com. I am looking forward to visiting your site again very soon.
Sincerely
M Duci
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Nice take on face to face dialogue. At first I had a little fun in trying to decipher just what it is we should be thinking about. Finally, it dawned on me we
should not be thinking at all. Not of ourselves anyway! Thank you for sharing and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
M Duci
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So tender, so loving and wonderfully written. I love those last two lines very, very much:
'You hold a heart in your hands
That has never before been given away.'
Your writing shows a very gifted person with a very
special way of expressing their thoughts. Thank you
for sharing, and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
M Duci
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What a lovely story about your beautiful young princess. You are teaching her well and she will
not stray. Your painting was beautiful and you painted the perfect picture. The visual was very strong and no errors could I see. Thank you for sharing and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
M Duci
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This poem has touched me in so many different ways.
Sometimes when reading a poem I think I will never read another quite like it. But then there is that once
in a life time when something so rare and beautiful just comes into your life bring with it memories of those we've lost and loved for our whole entire life. This is such apiece, thank you so much for sharing and welcome to Writing.Com
Sincerely
M Duci
A member of the "I REMEMBER WHEN" group for recognizing Newbies.
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How sad when one feels that life is no longer something to live for. I feel the pain of the
little children in Africa, just as you do, who have no food, shelter,
or medication. I wonder how it is, they would care to live when we who have so much even when it may seem so little have a desire to die, with out ever having lived. I hope that this is just a character from your imagination and not something that you yourself might be contemplating. Thank you for sharing and welcome to Writing.Com. I think you are a very gifted writer and have a lot to live for.
Sincerely
M Duci
A member of the "I REMEMBER WHEN" group for recognizing Newbies.
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You may want to put a cap on 'I'. You have it several times (i).
This is a real little cutie, I think children would learn this one very quickly. It has a cute little beat and a very nice rhyme.
Poor man what did he eventurally have to do to get his finger out of his nose, cut it off? Thank you so much for sharing and welcome to Writing.Com. I'm looking forward to visiting your port again very soon.
Sincerely
M Duci
A member of "I Remember When" group
I think you could not have said it any plainer about how you feel. I hope the person can put all those fears to rest and let you know that you're that very special one in their book. Thank you for sharing and welcome to Writing.Com. I look forward to visiting your site again very soon.
Sincerely
M Duci
A Member of 'I Remember When' group
How much better can you tell this little cutie? Not any better, so I think. I love it, I'll sing it, and also I'll praise it. What more can you do to make a child's life a beautiful place to live in. The rewards will come later when they are all grown up and sing this same little song to you. And they will!! Keep up the great writing and Welcome to Writing.Com.
M Duci
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Thank you so much for sharing and welcome to Writing.Com. I'm looking forward to visiting your port again very soon.