What a wonderful piece and so very timely also.
Your lovely choice of words truly made this poem
one to remember for ever. Raindrops as relating
to the tears of an angel was so touching and the
visual picture could really be seen. I too wish for
all the world that the war and rage would end. These
lines tell it so beautifully;
'So let's stop all the violence,
the rage and the war.
About that sunshine?
We want to see more.'
Thank you for sharing and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
Mduci
This was wonderful, the visual picture of someone taking a very deep breath, closing their eyes and
letting the music unload like a flowing stream was
so real to me. I love the all string instruments
and the violin and cello are two of my very favorites.
I write by the music of the instruments I also sleep with the sweet notes claiming me in dreams. Thank you
so much for sharing this lovely piece and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
Mduci
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The title drew me in of course, but the poem it self
laid open my soul.
These lines I found impressed themselves upon my minds eye and I found myself clicking on my favorites as this is where it shall stay so I can view it whenever I wish.
'A child has dreamed of flying, leaving ground
below to soar to heights achieved by wings,
discarding boring letters earthly bound,
replacing them with flight, his spirit sings.
And in my mind I join this child who’s gone
beyond assignment, recognizing play
and zestful dreams electric garbs to don,
I yearn for Paris, London, far Bombay.'
Thank you for sharing and welcome to Writing.Com.
Please keep up the great writing.
Sincerely
Mduci
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I like your poem and wish that I could cipher more of its meaning. I think that the use of some of the verbs was a little over done for me but still I could see that it has much potential. The word unrequittion completely through me off track and I'd love you to send me the correct wording.
Thank you for sharing and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
Mduci
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Unrequittion-unable to find this word in the dictionary.
This was indeed a real tear jerker for me. I could relate both my husband and my niece to this same
scenario as they had both been at one time or another
on life support.
My husband was off life support for a few weeks before being placed on them again and he told almost
the same story you've told, about going back over his life.
I want to thank you for sharing this story with us and welcome to Writing.Com. It was a perfect story
from beginning to end.
Sincerely
Mduci
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I know that the person you wrote this one for, must
really feel the love and care that went into this lovely piece. This is my favorite stanza,
'If first that I should die,
May our passion be the binds that tie,
Just know your love never went unfelt,
Till the end of time I’m yours to melt.'
Every line is a painting without fail and tells such a beautiful little story. Thank you for sharing and welcome to Writing.Com. I look forward to coming to visit your site again soon.
This was one lovely poem and very deep. It seems in the beginning there was so much promise, and then something died or was dead. Mums are always sad to me.
I love every line and they hold a lot of meaning to me. I could relate this to my sister as she heard the news that her children’s father passed away this morning and even though they had been divorced for many years I saw remembrance and a tear fall from her eyes. Thank you for sharing this piece and I look forward to reading more of your work in the very near future.
Sincerely
Mduci
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I hope that the person you've written this sweet forgiveness note to, can find it in their heart to
really forgive, even though they may never forget.
Sometime we can unintentionally hurt someone we love
not realizing just how mighty the cut can be that comes from the mouth or our actions. Thank you for
sharing and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
Mduci
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'But that traveler may one day look under a stone. And find out that some things are best left alone. A valuable lesson that many have learned,
Those lucky enough to have returned.
For some their final journal page,
Is tainted by anger, violent rage.
Of quaking earth, of wind and flood.
The lonely planet drenched in blood
Hello Eric.Grayson,
This poem just took my breath away! As a USA Tour Director, I understand just what you are talking about.
You've painted such a surreal picture of what is happening right now as I write this review. It is not about to stop anytime soon.
As man destroys the beautiful rainforests, killing the animals and the trees we are all in danger of being a victim one day. Thank you for sharing this timely piece and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
Mduci
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This is very beautiful! But I think you might get higher ratings if you'd cut those two last stanza's. The poem would leave something for the reader to think about without those last two . Always leave them wanting more. Just remember more is LESS.
Sincerely
Mduci
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What a very sweet introduction and what a great life you have. There must be many young people who were in the system who can thank you for giving them a better life, and lots of TLC.
Sometimes I think the Lord knows when to sit us down, and tell us its time to look out for #1. RV-ing sounds like what the doctor ordered for you and your hubby so keep writing that fantasy and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
Mduci
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What a very sad thing it was indeed, and from someone you loved and trusted. I know that something like that will take years to heal and a lifetime of guilt. But you did nothing wrong and should not ever blame yourself. How would you be expected to know about using protection at nine years of age?
I hope that you are no longer in harms way and that one-day you will be able to get on with your life.
Please continue to write about the pain and release it from your life. God bless and you've come to the right
place to express yourself.
Sincerely
Mduci
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A good one to be sure! Who really knows what the mind can and cannot know, or whether it can see you or not.
But isn't it funny how a child can one day crawl over to the piano and climb up on the bench and start to play a piece written by Mozart! Artificial Intelligence? It just may be. I like your piece and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
Mduci
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What a wonderful imagination you have! I love this story; it sounds so true. You've taken a favorite fairytale and made it into a real live experience. Flowerina, was of course my favorite
character and her friends the best yet. I could see
the visuals so clear right down to the sly ole salesman.
Thank you so much for sharing and I look forward to coming back soon for more ham on rye.
Take care
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What a lovely Fortissimo and such a lovely painting you've created! I can see those wild leaves dancing and swaying in the music of wind, the clashing thounder ringing out you've captured it all. I love each line and stanza, but this is by far my favorite,
'The sun returns
As woodwinds softly sing
Then the world is quiet
With one last simple string'
Thank you for sharing and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
Mduci
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I feel as if I just had lunch with a vampire. This was very scary. Written so very well, and for sometime I thought I was reading a beautiful love story (not). But it is not a love story that I should be reading this late at night. I fear I may have a nightmare! Just my own opinion of course.
I think this one could be rated to read 18+ I rarely read over 13+. Over all it will be a good read for those who like the gore and the sickness of this kind of love.
Good luck with your writing and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
Mduci
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What a lovely poem you've written about your best friend. I hope they realize how dearly they are loved and trusted with all that is in you.
It is not often like you say; that someone comes along whom you can tell every single thing to about your life, and all that encompasses such a dear friendship.
To have such a friend is an honor and a pride.
Take care of it and keep writing.
Sincerely
Mduci
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You have such a sweet site! It's always a pleasure to come by for a little Intuey treat. This 'Summertime Sensation' is just adorable and the sounds of the white-capped waves crashing on the oceans floor sound so good and cooling to the heat we have today in California. Thank you for sharing and I'll be back soon.
Sincerely
Mduci
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