*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile.php/reviews/joanne4eva/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/39
Review Requests: OFF
3,537 Public Reviews Given
4,150 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I tend to review using a format that I can comment on plot, characters, setting, atmosphere and dialogue. I also try to point out typos/errors and that sort of thing. This style may change depending on the item!
I'm good at...
I'm better with fiction than anything else. I might be able to have a go at poetry but please don't expect too much!
Favorite Genres
Horror, dark, suspense, thriller, mystery. However, I'm open minded and will read most genres.
Favorite Item Types
Statics - fiction.
Public Reviews
Previous ... 35 36 37 38 -39- 40 41 42 ... Next
951
951
Review of No, Not Anymore  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! I found you on the Review Me page *Smile*


*NoteR*What I liked:

I don't often read poetry because I find that it is so unique to each person, but I really enjoyed this piece. You have really captured the painful, raw emotion of being heart broken and how someone would go about dealing with that. The poem flows well with the rhymes in each of the stanza working well together.

*NoteR*A suggestion I had:


         *BulletG*With your harsh words, mine you did mistreat - I'm not sure what this last part means, were you referred to the heart that was mistreated?

         *BulletB*The last stanza compared to the others is particularly long. I was wondering if, in keeping with the rhythm of the poem, you are able to streamline it a little. Perhaps transform it into two stanzas?



Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
by Maryann- summer travel


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

952
952
Review of Rate Yourself!  
Review by blue jellybaby
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey!

I think this was an interesting poll to do, and very interesting that so many view their writing as average but not many viewing it as 5 stars. It kinda made me think about where I think I am too and about improvements. I wonder how many people answered this honestly..... *Smile*

Thanks!!

jo
953
953
Review by blue jellybaby
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hey! I just want to say that I think the NaNo lounge is a great idea for everyone to get involved and share and support each other along the journey. I've found it great to be able to come here after day one to find out how everyone is doing and share myself *Smile*

Thanks!!

jo
954
954
Review of Lumas - Prologue  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile*


*BulletV*What I liked:

This prologue seems to be a really good beginning to a longer piece, an introduction to the main characters. I think you open well and explain to the reader the unease that Lumas feels with the peace in his life. It makes me wonder why and what things happen after this!

*BulletV*A few things I spotted:


         *BulletG*(who wore her face for, even though it was only a dream, Anne couldn’t believe that that "someone" was her) - while I understand what you were trying to say here the sentences itself confused me. She feels like someone who looks like her, but isn't her is fighting all of these monsters in her dreams. I think though 'wore her face' is good and descriptive it only serves to confuse here

         *BulletG*Also, I think the issue of the 'disaster' which is a good thing in each of these characters' eyes, does this happen after or before the dreams and restlessness?



Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
by Maryann- summer travel


955
955
Review of Two Mimes  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile*


*BulletV*What I liked:

I don't read a lot of poetry but this really drew me in from both the subject and the first line! The poem flowed really well, a story unfolding with each stanza. You paint the picture well and I could see these two mimes in the street with a half-circle crowd forming around them.

I didn't see the ending coming, neither the fact that they were both born deaf or that the heart attack was not a part of the act. I think this was done well; I think often people would be unsure as to whether this scenario was real but the woman would not be able to tell anyone and it is distressing and sad. You convey this really well.



Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
by Maryann- summer travel


956
956
Review of Dog Leg  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile*


*BulletV*What I liked:

This story really drew me in, I really enjoyed the description and the intense focus on the dog who was attacking the apartment. It left me fearful! I also like the total naivety of Isabelle who simply wanted to treat the animal and the subsequent attacks. I think you did this well with the pace moving well too.

*BulletV*A few things I spotted:


         *BulletG*'Issac' - I noticed the spelling of his name changes a couple of times!

         *BulletG*'I could quite hear anything though' - I wasn't sure if this was supposed to be 'couldn't'



Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
by Maryann- summer travel


957
957
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile*


*BulletV*What I liked:

You open the story well, introducing a character who is mysterious and deeply infatuated. I didn't see the twist on incest coming with that one and I also didn't eralise she was dead! I love getting a good surprise. Her story ends and then Jane's story begins. I love this character, she's hard and spunky (hehe) and has the will to survive, pefect for a zombie story.

*BulletV*A few things I spotted:


         *BulletG*'magnificent dick' - I think this shocked me a little and I thought it would have been about the person rather than the part of the body.

         *BulletG*The fact that they're not married is mentioned twice within the first two paragraphs. It's a little bit repetitive.

         *BulletG*'Building crumbled' - should be 'buildings'

         *BulletG*'He little infant brother' - should be 'her' but also you repeat this twice within two sentences.

         *BulletG*'She past a million' - should be 'passed'

         *BulletG*'asif it could' - should be 'as if'

         *BulletG*'seemed asthough ' - should be 'as though'

         *BulletG*'didn't smell so foully' - should be 'foul'

         *BulletG*'hangman's nouse' - should be 'noose'



I was wondering where the two stories fittied together? While Jane's seems to be the main story the one before this seems irrelevant to the story. I'm wondering if you need it there, and if you do are you able to explain to the reader the importance of those characters.


Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
by Maryann- summer travel


958
958
Review of Do Not Go Gently  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile*


*BulletV*What I liked:

I liked this piece, I found it to be original. The initial hook works well, drawing the reader in with the story of Lumen and building the suspense well. The tension runs throughout the story and reaches a peak, which is great.

I also like the ending, she begins to trust who she thinks is the Dying One who turns out to be the Raging One. It's a good twist and a play on the reality of trust.

*BulletV*A few things I spotted:


         *BulletG*'but it, by Lumen' - this bit confused me a little, I think there are an extra couple of words

         *BulletG*'but them came scampering' - should be 'they'

         *BulletG*'He has no teeth" - needs a punctuation mark to end the quote.


I think I would have liked to have known more about the creatures that toture Lumen, to know where they came from and why they chose her. But I suspect you may have written this for a contest?



Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
by Maryann- summer travel


959
959
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! I found you on the Review Me page *Smile*


*BulletV*What I liked:

I really enjoyed reading this piece, excited to find out where it was going! The story flows well with the plot moving smoothly throughout. You introduce the characters well and without overloading the reader with information. I particularly liked the opening of the story which left me a little confused as to what was going on, but I know that this was imoprtant for the story *Smile*

*BulletV*A few things I spotted:


         *BulletG*'making sure every things okay' - 'everything' should be one word

         *BulletG*'Whats not safe?” ' - this should have an apostrophe as it separates two words, 'what's'

         *BulletG*'Jonah!”. But ' - just an extra piece of punctuation here!

         *BulletG*'could see the cold make my breathe visible' - should be 'breath' as 'breathe' is the action

         *BulletG*'If felt ice cold tears' - I think this should be 'I felt...'

         *BulletG*“He’ll adapt to it in a years.” - in a year

         *BulletG*Jonah, I never made it home to Dublin. - this bit was without quotation marks



Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
by Maryann- summer travel


960
960
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile*


*BulletV*What I liked:

I love Alice in Wonderland so this is something that really caught my eye! I think you did well with the story, creating a reminiscent tea party with the main characters in Wonderland with the Queen being the subject of conversastion. I also like the twist at the end, the Queen being her mum and her life in reality tinged with abuse.

*BulletV*A few things I spotted:


         *BulletG*'The paty goers' - should be 'party'

         *BulletG*'shimmering unreal felling' - should be 'unfeeling'



I think that separating the paragraphs more clearly may make it a bit easier to read *Smile*


Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
by Maryann- summer travel


961
961
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile*


*BulletV*What I liked:

I liked the way you dealt with such an emotional subject, transforming it with a great use of similies. I particularly liked the second stanza;

'Python desperation squeezes at the throat.
Heart pounding like a racehorse.'

I think it really emphasises the desperation of someone who is going through such a difficult and conflicted time that they feel they can't go on with life.


I don't want to intrude but I hope that if this is written from experience, that things are getting better *Heart*




But well done on a good write!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
by Maryann- summer travel


962
962
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile*


*BulletV*What I liked:

I really enjoyed reading this piece and loved that you have written it from the point of view of the 'monsters'. I also like how you portrayed (not sure if it was intentional) that the humans were more monstrous in their behaviour.

I also really liked the characters, particularly the narrator.


But well done on a good write!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
by Maryann- summer travel


963
963
Review of Point B  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile*


*BulletV*What I liked:

Hey, well done on what looks like is going to be a good piece!! This piece landed the audience into Jill's confusion about where she was and what was going on. You build up the pace well and the story flows well. It left me wanting more, left me wanting to know what was going on.


*BulletV*One thought/suggestion I had was that you make sure to end quotes with punctuation as I noticed there is often none.



Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
by Maryann- summer travel


964
964
Review of Misunderstood  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile*


*BulletV*What I liked:

The initial hook was great and encouraged me to read on. You built up the story well with a combination of introducing the character and description of the place and background to the story. I also really liked seeing the horror story from the point of view of the 'killer' it was really original!

*BulletV*A few things I spotted:


         *BulletG*'But overtime' - should be 'over time' with a space in between

         *BulletG*'I hide' - I think this should be 'hid' because it's in past tense.



Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
by Maryann- summer travel


965
965
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile*


*BulletV*What I liked:

I swear I wasn't giggling a little when I read this (!) but really enjoyed it. I love that you have a folder dedicated to those moments in your life that have meant a lot to you, including the embarassing ones. I thought it was great that you managed to continue and enjoy your day and also that your friends were so brill!!


Thank you for sharing your most embarassing moment with us, reminds me that everyone has them!

Well done on a good write!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
by Maryann- summer travel


966
966
Review of Shrine  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile*


*BulletV*What I liked:

I don't often read poetry but I enjoyed reading this, short and sweet but getting across what you want. You use description really well increasing the anticipation as you go. I also like the little twist at the end too, the fact that there is love and lust but it can turn sour.

*BulletV*A few things I spotted:


         *BulletG*I just thought because of the flow of the poem the second line could do with another word to fit with the first and third lines. Something like 'tracing every bone down their line.'


Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
by Maryann- summer travel


967
967
Review of The Purge  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile*


*BulletV*What I liked:

You build up the story well, introducing each of the characters briefly but well giving background on each. I think you did particularly well with the first character, also giving the reader his motivations.

*BulletV*A few things I spotted:


         *BulletG*'which was usually.' - this didn't sit quite right, I think it should be 'usual'


         *BulletG*'Jonah, my love, his disease took over again.' - this confused me at first. I didn't realise the reporter knew this Jonah who was the person who began the fire. Perhaps this could be made more clear?

The ending made me feel sad but I know that not all stories have happy endings!


Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
by Maryann- summer travel


968
968
Review of Retribution  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile*


*BulletV*What I liked:

I found this piece to be well written, it flowed nicely and was quite detailed which was great considering the short word count (was it a flash fiction piece?). I also like the twist ending that his previous victims were the ones getting him back.

*BulletV*A few things I spotted:


         *BulletG*'skinned countless kids.' - I'm not sure why but the word kids didn't sit right with me in the context of this story. Perhaps children?

         *BulletG*'before he peeled of their skins' - should be 'off'


Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
by Maryann- summer travel


969
969
Review of Untitled  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile*


*BulletV*What I liked:

The opening worked really well with a philosophical feel to it. I also really identified with it feeling myself that summer is both things; a physical season but also a state of mind, one which is positive and happy and creative. That's what it means for me. But anyway!!

*BulletV*A few things I spotted:


         *BulletG*'you slather sunscreen on.' - needs a capital to begin the sentence.

         *BulletG*'widow’s peak - should this be window?'


I'm really intrigued to find out where this piece goes! Have you got any ides yet?


Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
by Maryann- summer travel


970
970
Review of Sleep Depravation  
Review by blue jellybaby
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile*


*BulletV*What I liked:

I found this piece to be really brutally honest, with your emotions out there and raw and I really liked that. The piece itself felt quite cynical but it felt right for the tone of the subject.

*BulletV*A few things I spotted:


         *BulletG*'Seems more probable then not' - should be 'than'

         *BulletG*'And just do give' - should be 'to'

         *BulletG*'its in hamburger helper' - should be 'it's'

But these are simply typos *Smile*


Anyway, hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
by Maryann- summer travel


971
971
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! I found you on the Review Me page *Smile*


*BulletV*What I liked:

I liked the opening to the story, I felt it really set the mood and introduced the main character and has background well. I felt shocked to learn that she had cancer and was limited on her time left, but I also think this helped to set the tone. I felt I got an overall good background to her story involving her son and husband and that was great.

*BulletV*A few things I spotted:


         *BulletG*“…not in an emotionally stable state to be a parent. - the quotes aren't closed on this piece

         *BulletG*'counseling' - I think this should have two l's

         *BulletG*'6ish months' - maybe because you've already mentioned the time she has left this could be changed to 'make the most of the time I had left.'


I also thought the part where you explained about her husbands death was a little foggy to me; I didn't realise it was that you were talking about and had to re-read a couple fo times. Perhaps if you use a line something like 'I remember that night like it was yesterday.'


Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
by Maryann- summer travel



972
972
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! I found you on the Review Me page *Smile*


*BulletV*What I liked:

I felt you opened the story well and the initial hook grabbed the reader, urging them to read on to find out what happens to the boy. The dialogue that goes on within the story is short and fast paced which adds to the tension. I thought the ending was a good twist, I didn't see it coming and was in fact going to ask about the boy being so conversant at such a young age!


*BulletV*A few things I spotted:


         *BulletG*felt this stench - I think a different word to 'felt' could be appropriate, maybe something which indicates sense of smell?



Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
by Maryann- summer travel


973
973
Review of Test: I am myself  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! I found you on the Review Me page *Smile*


*BulletV*What I liked:

I found this letter to a friend to be thoughtful, intense and intriguing. The author's voice comes through very strongly with a wave of emotion behind his penned letter. I like how it was written as a letter to a friend but it was ambiguous in that it also seemed to serve a purpose to the author confirming his thoughts and feelings on such matters in society.


*BulletV*A few things I spotted:


         *BulletG*While the studies have leave me knowledgeable - should be 'left'

         *BulletG*apart - should be 'a part'

         *BulletG*maybe - should be two separate words


Hope this helps!!


Well done on a good write!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
by Maryann- summer travel


974
974
Review of The Eyes of Death  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile*


*BulletV*What I liked:

This short piece had a clear structure and flowed well. It also gave a taste for something more; I found myself wondering about finding her own corpse! I also found myself wanting to know more about the quilt


*BulletV*Something I spotted:


         *BulletG*I think that her thoughts should be separated from the main story as I found it a bit complicated until I realised what was going on!




But well done on a good write!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
by Maryann- summer travel


975
975
Review of untitled 1  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! I found you on the Review Me page *Smile*


*BulletV*What I liked:

I really liked the perspective of the story, it feels close and personal and current. It's different from anything I've read recently. The main character is likeable from the start and makes me root for him. You've written it really well with no obvious typos or anything, it flows well and all in all invites the reader to want more!


*BulletV*Something I spotted:


         *BulletG*'Good think I had a metro card on me.' - should this be 'thing'?




But well done on a good write!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
by Maryann- summer travel




1,045 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 42 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile.php/reviews/joanne4eva/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/39