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3,537 Public Reviews Given
4,150 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I tend to review using a format that I can comment on plot, characters, setting, atmosphere and dialogue. I also try to point out typos/errors and that sort of thing. This style may change depending on the item!
I'm good at...
I'm better with fiction than anything else. I might be able to have a go at poetry but please don't expect too much!
Favorite Genres
Horror, dark, suspense, thriller, mystery. However, I'm open minded and will read most genres.
Favorite Item Types
Statics - fiction.
Public Reviews
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851
851
Review of The Silent Night  Open in new Window.
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

This was a really good piece. I wasn't sure what to think when I opened this but it appealed to me and I kept an open mind, and I'm glad I did. You depict the different emotions throughout this piece really well, from the teenage jubilation of the forbidden alcohol at a party to the fear and hysteria felt towards the end of the shark attack.

I particularly like the line:

'Although we held no real grudges, we cursed our parents, our teachers, school, and life itself, getting louder and more courageous with every word.'

I think it really captures how young people are/can be, particularly that there are 'no real grudges' but they do it anyway!

*NoteR*A suggestion I had:


         *BulletG*The only suggestion I had was for you to take another look at the layout of the piece, in a few places there are line breaks when there needn't be/


Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

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852
852
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! I'm returning a review you did for me! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

For your first piece of fiction you've done really well! I think you use description really well to build both the scene and the suspense to keep the reader wanting more. The description really helped me see the world the Professor was walking in, how dark and gloomy and rainy it was. It really painted a picture.

We meet the Professor who seems like a lonely but content man, but that is all we learn because he is then killed! I found this to be a really good opening to something bigger, you have a great hook here and left me wanting more!

*NoteR*A few suggestions I had:


         *BulletG*He was lost in his thoughts as suddenly - this is fine as it is but I'm only pointing it out because I think I'd feel more comfortable with it if you had the word 'when' instead of 'as'. But I don't think it's a necessary change just something I thought I'd note!

         *BulletB*The adrenaline in his blood had done all what it could - I would say here, delete the word 'what'. It's not needed.

         *BulletR*The killed pulled the knife out and stabbed him again. - I think this should be 'killer'



Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

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853
Review of In the Darkness  Open in new Window.
for entry "Welcome Home" Open in new Window.
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

You're probably still in the middle of working on this but when I saw it in the hub in the recently added books section I was really drawn to it and wanted to read it!

So far so good. You've begun setting the scene and the background for the story and I can already feel the suspense building; she's really apprehensive and you've brought that across brilliantly. I think her character is developing well and I can't wait to see more of her!


*NoteR*A suggestion I had:


         *BulletG*Then was came the homes, - this was the very last line I read. I think the word 'was' may be extra but I can also see you've stopped mid sentence so you're probably not finished there!



Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

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854
854
Review of Department Store  Open in new Window.
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

This story actually really creeped me out! I think you've written it really well, explaining your side of the story from the child's point of view, exactly as you saw it. I love that world that you gave us a glimpse into *Smile*

You described both man and boy really well. Towards the end I got really creeped out by the man, the one posing as somebody to be trusted who obviously couldn't be. Well done on being able to write so well as to create such a shivery feeling in your reader. And thank you for sharing this with us



Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

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855
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

I don't often read non-fiction pieces, but this really caught my eye. I've been struggling with my hair being in a bad condition for months now and I'm hoping I'll get some good advice from your article!

I'm really glad I did decide to check out this piece. I had absolutely no idea that such harmful substances were present in shampoos (and probably indeed many other products we use). I'm really shocked and while I understand it's for us to do our homework, the thought has never crossed my mind until now. I've always used store-bought shampoo and it's not something I've ever considered.

But I think that now, it will be. Perhaps the root cause of my hair being so damaged is the products being put onto it. I think that I will look into making my own.....

Thanks for such an informative piece!!



Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

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856
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

Hey! I really love anything zombie so had to come by and check this out. Plus it seems like a fun concept and I wanted to see what you came up with *Smile* So here I am!

This was a fun little piece which looked on the lighter side of being a zombie, with the zombie actually being the doctor in this case! The plot moves at a good pace and we see Mary being cured from her addiction and an odd relationship being formed between doctor and patient, making them both happy *Smile*

*NoteR*A few suggestions I had:


         *BulletG*He knocked on the door urgently, which Buzz open - this should be 'opened'

         *BulletB*Mary, realizing all her wrong ways, begins to cry and spends the next hour being counseled - something I've noticed is that you switch between past and present tense in this piece. I tend to find it's better to stick to one because it helps the reader and the flow of the story. If I was going to write this in the past tense I would write:

Mary realised all of her wrong ways and began to cry, spending the next hour being counselled...

or if I was going to write it in present tense I would write:

Mary, realising all her wrong way, begins to cry and spends the next hour being counselled...

Hope this makes sense?!



Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

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857
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

For me, the title really drew me into this piece; I wanted to know about the stone cottage and what made it worth writing about *Smile*

I think this is the start of something really nice. You have written about two people, not necessarily lonely people, who have met via the internet and connected instantly with a bond that is more than that of a relationship built on whim. You've introduced the two characters well, giving the reader insight into their previous lives but also their needs and desires of the present. They both seem like very likeable characters and I can only wonder where their relationship will go. I found myself wanting to know what happens next? What happens within the walls of the stone cottage?


*NoteR*A suggestion I had:


         *BulletG*that he was, indeed, the one She’d been waiting for - I think this should maybe be a small 's' ?


I think this is the start to something good, you introduce the characters and the story well and leave the reader wanting more *Smile*


Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

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858
Review of Haunted  Open in new Window.
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

The title and description of this piece really intrigued me; I read it as a person who is haunted rather than a place. Anyway! So I decided to read it, so here I am.

Okay, so now I've read this piece and it was completely not what I expected! But that's not a bad thing. I think this piece has been really well written and thought out. You've portrayed your emotions on the subject of relationships, and some in particular, that affect you in such a way. I feel like you've written put a lot of yourself into this piece and I think that must have been hard, so well done.

I hope you're okay *Smile*





Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

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859
Review of Memory  Open in new Window.
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

I think this is the start of something good. The title and description point the way to the jist of the story without reading to much, but also encouraging the reader to find out.

The plot moves at a good pace, we are met wth Nathyrra who is a girl who does not know herself, plagued by a disembodied voice who seems to know everything about her. It made me want to know who the voice was, how he knew her. And now I know I want to find out what happens next!

I think this was a good introduction to the story, the character was developed as well as possible considering the circumstances and we are left wanting to know what is going to happen, well done!



Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

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860
Review of Rush Hour  Open in new Window.
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

This was a really emotional and heart felt piece. Although the title and description gave a big clue, I wasn't sure what to expect and so I opened this piece with an open mind.

I really enjoyed reading it. I found that the plot moved at a good pace, telling the story of a woman who was experiencing a stressful and life altering time and the decisions that came with it. I think you've captured the balance between present and past really well and allow the reader to see her father as Kate grew up and understand the great man that he was.

I think seeing the father and girl on the subway was a really nice touch and I often find that it's moments like those, when allowed time for reflection, that things become more clear.



Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

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861
861
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

I found this to be a really thoughtful piece. You've considered the nature of journal keeping, what might be written amongst its pages, thought of with utmost importance at the time, but lying forgotten after many years have gone. I think you've been able to reflect nicely here about the purpose of a journal and the importance it can play in an individual's life at certain points.

I think this piece fits well with me, because I have old journals hidden in my room, where I know there are scores of thoughts and memories and goals I want to achieve, that have simply been forgotten over time, and it makes me wonder, where they ever that important to begin with?

The poem flows well and I found that because you use free form it allowed you to express your emotions on the subject with clarity given time. You have used a lot of good imagery within this too and I can picture it well within my head as I read, well done *Smile*




Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

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862
Review of The Hidden Side  Open in new Window.
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

I was attracted to this piece because I used to work in a cinema for several years and I aways thought there was more to it than there seemed!

This was a really good, short piece using great and vivid description to alert the reader to what something may truly be like after hours. I could feel the atmosphere as you described it and it definately left me feeling chilled!

*NoteR*A thought I had:


         *BulletG*I think the only thought I had was around the last paragraph, where it seems to change in style and from a qute passive description involved the reader using the word 'you'. I was just wondering if this was purposely done?



Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

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863
863
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

This piece really spoke to me. I feel like you've really put your heart into this and described, both for yourself and the reader, how you felt at the horrors you have faced in your life. And while you have made me picture the terrible things you must have seen and felt during the time you have served, you have helped me to understand the different and the utter horror you felt upon seeing someone you love so much, not themselves anymore. I feel like you've helped me understand this through your logical explanation and description; I really felt your emotion in this piece.

I can't say I know how you feel, I don't suppose that I can, however, you have my deepest sympathy.

Take care *Smile*



Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

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864
Review of Waiting for a Son  Open in new Window.
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

You have written a really nice piece here. It flows well from beginning to end, telling the story of a man who rescued and adopted a young boy who was rather like himself when he fought for the military.

I like the plot of this piece, it's really heartwarming and though Jason didn't want anything to do with the boy at first, he ended up glad he did when he ended up protecting and loving one of his own.

*NoteR*A few suggestions I had:


         *BulletG*or those who'd been honorable discharged, - this should be 'honourably'

         *BulletB*Something else I was thinking about is that I wasn't sure if everybody including the humans were aware of other species i.e. werewolves. Maybe you can make this a little clearer. Also when Jason is tied up to the pole after going to rescue the boy, I assumed he was in his human form when in fact, he was in his wolf form. Perhaps you can make it a little clearer which form he's in?



Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

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865
865
Review of Story Maker  Open in new Window.
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

You open this story well, encouraging the reader to find out about the new bookstore, just like Gemma wants to. Intrigue is already there because nobody else seems to have noticed the store but her, and we are left wondering why.

You develop her character well throughout this piece, introducing both appearance as well as personality and allowing the reader to understand her motives and her mind.

Suspense is built really well throughout this piece through your use of vivid description, keeping the reader interested and intrigued. I felt my eyes roving and almost speed reading as I tried to find out what was going to happen!

I don't have any suggestions to make for you for this piece.


Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

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866
Review of "Gasp!"  Open in new Window.
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! This is your third review as part of the Elven Tea Garden Jailathon! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

Well done on another good piece! You've written this well, telling the reader about your amazing experiences as an animal control officer and what you had to face on a daily basis (with a smile on your face!)

The title and description of the piece are fitting and it's what made me initially want to read, to find out what was happening. Well done!


*NoteR*A suggestion I had:


         *BulletG*In 1986, alligations - should this be 'alligators' ?





Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

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867
867
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! This is your second review as part of the Elven Tea Garden Jailaton! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

This is a really funny short story! Did this really happen to you? I can only imagine how awful that must have been. You write this piece well, describing it so that the reader is able to see how awful it must have been for you.

I'm really glad you were rescued and only wish it was in a much shorter time!



Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

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868
868
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! This is the second review as part of the Elven Tea Garden Jailathon! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

I really love reading these things because I love to hear the story behind everyone's username. And as much as it is depressing, as you say, it's true and I'm glad you chose to write this piece. I feel like I gained a lot of knowledge from this, I didn't know about the percentage of population without access to clean water or what the Guinea Worm Disease was (I had never heard of this in fact!)

And after reading this I have to say I think you picked your name from a great cause *Smile*



Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

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Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
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869
869
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! This is the second review as part of the Elven Tea Garden Jailathon! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

I couldn't resist reading the second part of this story! I really wanted to know what was happening *Smile*

I'd really like to see more of this! Do you plan on writing any more? It was really good to be able to follow the story of Kevin and Lance. I can't get over how insanely strong Lance is!! And as much as he is strong he's modest about it which makes him a really adorable boy and character *Smile* I wonder how the rest of his family views him? Or haven't they noticed?

I get the sense that Kevin's a little bit jealous of Lance's strength, particularly because he's quite skinny, but it's still his kid brother and he loves him so he never lets it show.

Well done on another good write!!




Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

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870
Review of Kevin and Lance  Open in new Window.
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! This is your first review as part of the Elven Tea Garden Jailathon! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

I really liked this story! You write in such a way that makes it accessible to a wide audience yet it's still really interesting. You start the piece with a brief description of each person in the story. I think you've done this in a really interesting way; you show the reader who is who but it is not just about appearance, but rather, a lot of the personality comes into it. It also feels from doing this that Kevin is actually telling the story *Smile*

The story moves well from beginning to end, bringing in details as necessary. We learn about Lance and his freakish body for his age. I can't believe it as I'm reading, how big he is! I can't wait to see what is going to happen from here!


*NoteR*A few suggestions I had:


         *BulletG*My goodness, he’s changed! - I would write this as My goodness he had changed!} just because the former brings it into the present tense and it's written in the past.

         *BulletB*And he’s only seven years-old? - I think the same for this one, this brings it into the present so I would change 'he's' for 'he was'



Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

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Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
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871
871
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! I'm here for the third Elven Tea Garden Jailathon review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

I was interested in this piece because of the title, it drew me in and made me want to read it.

You've really opened your heart up in this piece, sharing with us your bad experiences. I want to commend you for doing so, it's often so hard to be able to let yourself be vulnerable to anyone let alone a site full of people. However you did it and I'm glad you did. It let me have a little glimpse into your life as well as your motto and despite everything you have gone through you still remain optimistic, well done! *Smile*

I hope that you're well and that things are okay for you *Smile*


Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

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by Maryann Author Icon


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Review of WHY I LOVE WDC  Open in new Window.
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! I'm here with the second review from the Elven Tea Garden Jailathon! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

I saw this piece and knew I really wanted to read it. It tells the reader of your love for writing.com and your reasons for it, which I think is great. I think probably a great many people (including me) take this site for granted sometimes but you've taken the time to stop and think about why you love it so much.

You've bared your heart to us here and I love that, it's really nice to see. Thank you for sharing this with us.



Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. [E]
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by Maryann Author Icon


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Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! I'm here to return the kind review you did for me! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

You have shared with us here a dream that you had several years ago. I want to thank you for sharing something so personal with us. I think here, despite the fact that the dreams seems to be quite erratic, you've managed to describe it, taking the reader on the journey through your dream with you. You've tried your best to describe how you were feeling, what you experienced, so that the reader too can experience the same things.

I think it must have been really hard for you to be able to describe this dream so well. I often find that dreams are a key to something more, and some dreams more than others, stay with us. Often for no reason that is conceivable.

*NoteR*A few suggestions I had:


         *BulletG*I realized that i had no money with me. - I would capitalise the I in this sentence

         *BulletB*I should have been thrown his hand away from me - I think this should be 'throwing'

         *BulletR*Both my mind as well as my body was paining. - I think here, instead of the word 'paining', I would write 'in pain'



Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
by Maryann Author Icon


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Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! I found you on the Power Shope Review Board! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

This is a really sweet short story. It takes the reader back to a time when such grievances were solved in such a way. You charactertise these two men well both through your use of dialogue and the description you use.

It made me smile, the way they bumped each other until both sat in the mud, both exhausted. I think the ending is great, knowing that they came to an unspoken, mutual agreement. It did leave me with questions as to where their relationship went from there, but I understand it was a flash fiction and you cannot put everything into it.



Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
by Maryann Author Icon


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Review of Cold Torture  Open in new Window.
Review by blue jellybaby Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! I found you on the Power Shop Review Board! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

This is a really creepy short story! You begin with with a great characterisation of Francine and her best friend Kelly. As I reader I instantly liked both women and wondered where the story would go. I felt sorry for Francine as she toiled in the kitchen for her husband, even knowing he wasn't the man she thought he was.

The story reached a peak as she found out that her best friend and husband had betrayed her. I felt the revenge that instantly came to her mind was a little dramatic but then in reconsidering the first statement knowing that she was tough as nails, perhaps fighting was naturally her first thought.

You bring the story to a close well, leaving the murderer on the loose but the husband as having paid for his betrayal.

I particularly liked the line:

The sting of the sharp blade's stab was instantly accelerated by a burning rush of citrus acid, eating at her raw, oozing flesh.

I think this sentence is particularly descriptive, and allowed me to reminisce and feel the pain that Francine would have felt.


*NoteR*A suggestion I had:


         *BulletG*and her anger peeked. - this should be 'peaked'



Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
by Maryann Author Icon


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