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3,537 Public Reviews Given
4,150 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I tend to review using a format that I can comment on plot, characters, setting, atmosphere and dialogue. I also try to point out typos/errors and that sort of thing. This style may change depending on the item!
I'm good at...
I'm better with fiction than anything else. I might be able to have a go at poetry but please don't expect too much!
Favorite Genres
Horror, dark, suspense, thriller, mystery. However, I'm open minded and will read most genres.
Favorite Item Types
Statics - fiction.
Public Reviews
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901
901
Review of short story  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile* *XMasTree*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently! *StockingV*


*NoteR*What I liked:

This was a short but sweet piece. It it a very optimistic piece, light hearted and full of thoughts for the future. I think you have created a very strong character here, someone who will stand out for me.

The description you use throughout is complex, painting both the setting and the background of the characters to this piece.


*NoteR*A few suggestions I had:


         *BulletG*only punctuated by booming of feet - I think perhaps you need the word 'the' in here i.e. only punctuated by the booming of feet.

         *BulletB*Hieroglyphics signs of long forgotten - I think here perhaps you need a comma after the first word to allow room for pause. Hieroglyphics, signs of long forgotten not only does it allow for pause but it introduces the subject matter of the sentence.

         *BulletR*a descendant of Orunmila, who descended from the heavens - Here I think the repetition of the word 'descend' within the same sentence is a little too much. Perhaps you could change the word or change the sentence structure a little.

         *BulletV*He burst forth: “we have meandered - here, the speec should start with a capital letter "We have meandered...

         *Bullet*he was not found he had faced the direction of the setting sun seeking a new home. - I think there either needs to be a comma in here or that it needs to be two sentences as it runs on for two long and talks about two separate subjects. I think I would write it like he was not found. He had turned to face the direction of the setting sun, seeking a new home.


Hope this helped! *SnowMan*


But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

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by Maryann- summer travel


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902
902
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile* *XMasTree*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently! *CandyCaneR*


*NoteR*What I liked:

This is a really good poem! I was drawn in by the title and description, which speak of mystery and intrigue. The poem itself flows really well with a natural rhythm. Each of the rhymes work well flowing naturally and fitting into the overall style of the poem.

The subject was good too, although you speak in metaphors I found it easy to read and understand. Well done!







Hope this helped! *StockingR*


But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

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by Maryann- summer travel


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903
903
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile* *XMasTree*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently! *CandyCaneR*


*NoteR*What I liked:

Well done on being able to share your obviously so raw emotions with us here on writing.com. It sounds like you're having a pretty tough time with this guy. I know that relationships (and even friendships) can be hard work sometimes. But something I think you need to remind yourself, is that you deserve to be treated well, with respect and dignity. You shouldn't settle for less.

The piece itself is written well, you use the anecdote about Linkin Park to allow us to make a comparison between the two different obsessions you have had in your life. The description you use throughout is good, allowing us to really feel what you are feeling.


*NoteR*A few suggestions I had:


         *BulletG*and in the internet - I think that this should be 'on' the internet.

         *BulletB*I was thinking, that perhaps writing a journal or a blog might help you. It means you would be able to get all of these feelings out/down on paper and might help you process them a bit better. If you haven't already, maybe you would consider writing a blog here on writing.com?



Hope this helped! *StockingR*


But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

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by Maryann- summer travel


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904
904
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile* *XMasTree*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently! *CandyCaneR*


*NoteR*What I liked:

I don't often read any sci-fi and this was something that opened up my eyes to the genre, so thanks!! You have created the start of something here, with a good setting and a host of strong characters.

*NoteR*A few suggestions I had:


         *BulletG*For unexplained reasons, not enough light has been getting through - this piece is written in past tense, however, this brings it into the present. I would suggest writing it as: For unexplained reasons, not enough light had been getting through.

         *BulletB*He knows Steven's mom - I just picked this out again because it's bringing it into the present when the story is actually written in the past. I would write this as: He knew Steven's mom...

         *BulletR*I think something that struck me when I was reading this, was that I wasn't sure where it was going. I think because of the disjointed form whereby the paragraphs are separated by spaces (and I think this indicated a change in characters/setting) I couldn't quite grasp the subject of the piece. I know you have listed it as 'other' rather than short story or fiction but it felt like a story to me. Just something to think about (hope this makes sense!)




Hope this helped! *StockingR*


But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

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by Maryann- summer travel


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905
905
Review of Audible Cries  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile* *XMasTree*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently! *CandyCaneR*


*NoteR*What I liked:

This piece was really emotional and heart felt. You've written this from the soul and let the raw emotion flow and I think that's great. When I read this (to me) the subject was of heartbreak, a woman who was hurting someone who loved her. I'm sorry if I'm wrong but then I always think, people always take different things from lyrics.

I really like the first verse, I think it shows all of the pain that the protagonist holds and through the lyrics I can feel his pain, so well done for that!

*NoteR*A suggestion I had:


         *BulletG*The only suggestion I really had was about the technicality of the piece. I would possibly use more punctuation and commas within this piece, at the end of the lines etc. just to allow time for the reader to pause (even though it is lyrics!) Hope this makes sense



Hope this helped! *StockingR*


But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

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by Maryann- summer travel


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906
906
Review of Thorn Tower  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

I really loved this story!! Here you've created a very realistic and gritty take on the old age fairytale Rapuzel. When I began reading I was hooked immediately through your use of vibrant description which helped to set the scene. I think you've created some very real characters in Rapunzel and Theodorick, it's nice to see them as real people rather than just characters in a fairy story. You've given them real motivations and darkened them, especially Rapunzel who knows what the men truly seek and who punish them for being that way.

I also really like the way you've interspersed the story with the poem which aids to the telling of the story and gives it a little bit more *Smile*


*NoteR*A suggestion I had:


         *BulletG*Thoedorick rested against his horse’s flank - This sentence in the first paragraph the protagonists name is mis spelled (think it must just be a typo)




Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
by Maryann- summer travel


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907
907
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hey!

This is an Elven Tea Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

This is a really creative piece! I really love that you have been able to imagine what Earth would be like for someone who had never been here before, particularly not a human. The story moves well at a good pace and allows the reader to sit back and go along with the journey.

Did you write any more of these? Did you plan to?

I think you write wonderfully for children!




Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Elven Tea Garden:

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908
908
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hey!

This is an Elven Tea Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

This was a really fun and imaginative piece! I really like the way it flows thoughout, introducing the two main characters before beginning with the true case in the story. You have created two very fun and wonderful characters in these girls, I did begin to wonder what sort of other mischief they got up to!

I did wonder, where the idea for the detective agency came from, from that picture? But it was a very good idea!




Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Elven Tea Garden:

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909
909
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: 18+ | (1.5)
Hey!

This is an Elven Tea Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

This was a really fun read! I love zombie anythings and this was fun. The poem tells of another sort of zombie that the real zombies are feeding on!! I like it *Smile* hehe.

The poem itself flows well and draws the reader into the scene.

I hope I've done the right thing in giving you a low star rating!!




Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Elven Tea Garden:

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910
910
Review of Irene  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey!

This is an Elven Tea Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

I thought this piece was really in depth and clever. You have considered the other side of nature, thought about the reasons behind it. I think personifying these hurricanes (tornados?) is really clever, it makes the reader think about the natural wonder of weather and how important it is.

I didn't realise until the very end that they were hurricanes so I think it's great that you've been able to bring me along without ever really letting on what it is.




Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Elven Tea Garden:

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911
911
Review of Fun With Synonyms  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is an Elven Tea Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

This is a fun little piece!! I've done such exercises before for other parts of the anatomy and there are lots of words, but never but the bottom!! I bet you had fun writing this!

I think you've done a really great job to fit it all into the poem without making it feel forced. The stanzas work well together and the rhymes do too. And while there is definately an overarching theme of posteriors, it's not over the top!!




Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Elven Tea Garden:

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912
912
Review of Before I Go  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey!

This is an Elven Tea Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

Hey, this is a really well written and heart wrenching piece. I think the poem itself works really well, each of the stanzas fitting together nicely and the rhymes feeling natural.

The subject you have picked is a tough one and when I first began reading it I thought of a 'bucket list'. I think you've tackled it really well however and you allow the reader to see the emotions going through the protagonist's mind as he or she prepares for the final moment. I think everyone will probably have something to say to someone, I know I do.

*NoteR*A few suggestions I had:


         *BulletG*People I’d want to be near me - I think I just was wondering about this bit, last line on the first stanza, should it have a full stop at the end?




Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Elven Tea Garden:

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913
913
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey!

This is an Elven Tea Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

Another fun little piece! I decided I wanted to read this one because of the current festive season *Smile*

I think you've managed to convey a child's dismay upon finding out Santa is in fact not really, I think for some children it can make or break Christmas. You tackle this well and end the story with a nice little twist that leaves the little boy and the reader wondering about the possiblities *Smile*





Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Elven Tea Garden:

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914
914
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

This poem was short and dark, and I liked it! You have written this in a dark and gothic manner, about a girl who is ready to make her journey with death. I thought the beginning of the poem was particularly dark (the first four lines) and that's great!

I think the poem flows well in a free form. I noticed that at the beginning there were some rhymes but that they fade after a while, but I think that's fine and the piece still works as a free style one.



Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
by Maryann- summer travel


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915
915
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

This was a fun little story. I liked that it played on the percetptions of a young girl.

The story flows well at the right pace and leads the reader to their own conclusion - I don't think the fridge was haunted, but who knows, maybe I'm wrong!

*NoteR*A few suggestions I had:


         *BulletG*K.C. rushed into the living room her eyes wide with terror and stopped between her aunt and the T.V. set. - when I read this sentence it didn't sit quite right with me. How about something like:

K.C. rushed into the living room, her eyes wide with terror as she stopped between her Aunt and the TV.

         *BulletB*I was also thinking as I was reading that the girl was a lot younger than she is. I was shocked when I found out she was sixteen! In this context I feel like her actions are a bit too young for her age, perhaps she could be a little younger?



Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
by Maryann- summer travel


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916
916
Review of Silent Screams  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

This poem is great! It speaks of a subject, a scream that torments an old man, suddenly becoming so silent it was overwhelming. It flows really well, each of the stanzas fitting together nicely and the rhymes all feeling natural and working well together.

You have broached a hard subject here and written it well, allowing the reader to see into the reality of a person with dementia. Through this poem you have created a character I really sympathised with; I wanted everything to be okay for him. Well done for that!

*NoteR*A few suggestions I had:


         *BulletG*Though the screams had been bad, this silence felt like hell. - I think for me this line felt just a tad too long. I think I would write:

Though the screams has been bad, the silence was hell.

         *BulletB*The penultimate parargraph doesn't contain any punctuation at the ends of the lines, I thought I'd point it out because in all of the others there is! I was wondering if it was done purposefully?

         *BulletR*

         *BulletV*

         *Bullet*


I also thought...


Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
by Maryann- summer travel


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917
917
Review of flashback  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

This short little poem is a really emotional piece. I really feel like you've bared your heart with this one and let out all of the raw emotion you feel when you experience these flashbacks.

The free form of the poem works well to add to the emotion, giving time and space for exploration. The rhymes work well and feel natural.

*NoteR*A few suggestions I had:


         *BulletG*You might want to use punctuation and capital letters a bit more where necessary, for example, at the start of lines and punctuation at the end. For example:

the flash back starts
i see your face
and i start to cry

I would write as:

The flash back starts,
I see your face,
And I start to cry,

I just personally think it looks a little better with correct punctuation but it also serves to allow the reader to pause and reflect on what is written.

         *BulletB*In your description of the piece you have written 'this is a poem'. I would suggest adding a little something about the actual poem to attract the reader, a little something of what it is about perhaps?



Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
by Maryann- summer travel


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918
918
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

This poem is really well written and tells a tale of a love lost. I like the way that the subject is brought into the poem because you are visiting the old willow tree. You write well using natural rhymes throughout. The subject is a sad one and you manage to evoke that emotion throughout through your use of description and sense of nostalgia.

I also really like the description of snow and ice as 'Winter's glass' I think it's great!


*NoteR*A few suggestions I had:


         *BulletG*I would maybe say that adding some punctuation such as commas, at the ends of the lines would add to this as it allows the reader time to pause.

         *BulletB*I think after reading this I felt like I would have liked to find out why she lost her love? It felt like a very sad piece.



Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
by Maryann- summer travel


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919
919
Review of Silent Rain  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

This was a really raw and heart wrenching poem. I couldn't pull myself away from it and wanted to read on and on. The descriptions you use throughout are so vivid that I can see the pain you were in, see the hurt in your heart.

The free form of the poem really adds to the piece allowing the emotion to flow naturally. I particularly like the repetition: Drip. Drip. I think it adds to the piece and keeps a constant going throughout for the reader to think about.

I also really like the lines:

I remember who I am. I am a man, a nobody.
I remember what happened. I just lost my love, my only purpose.
I remember why I was crouching. I could no longer stand.
I remember what I am doing. Trying to forget...

For me this piece was like a lightning bolt striking him with sudden realisation. I think the repetition of the words here are really good too and really pull the reality from the piece.

*NoteR*A few suggestions I had:


         *BulletG*I think that while the free form works well I noticed as I was reading it that the first few lines were short and then they seemed to get longer and longer. While this is not bad in itself and I do like the lines, perhaps you could think about having the repeated line between some of the longer ones i.e.

Drip. Drip.
I lift my hands up. They are trembling, stained with dirt as if they haven’t been washed for days. I’m cold... So very cold...
My face is numb. I touch it, just to reassure myself it was still there. It is slick, covered in water...
Drip. Drip.

I would maybe write:

Drip. Drip.
I lift my hands up. They are trembling, stained with dirt as if they haven’t been washed for days.
Drip.Drip.
I’m cold... So very cold...
My face is numb. I touch it, just to reassure myself it was still there. It is slick, covered in water...
Drip. Drip.




Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
by Maryann- summer travel


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920
920
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

This poem works well, it flows freely which allows for your thoughts to be the centre of the piece. I can really feel the emotion flowing through this piece, it is raw (but that is a good thing!) and expresses what is coming from your heart.

*NoteR*A few suggestions I had:


         *BulletG*All i know is you came to me when i was at my lowest! - here I would say you need to put the word 'i' into a capital as this is how it's normally shown in text.

         *BulletB*Before the life of me, I dont see like I do - this line confused me. I couldn't quite understand what you were trying to say or show, perhaps it could be reworded?

         *BulletR*I dont think you - this should be 'don't' with an apostrophe as it is an abbreviation.

         *BulletV*NOT THE SLIGHTEST CLUE, - I think this particular line is good but that it may benefit the piece more if it was put onto a separate line by itself, just a thought!

         *Bullet*e:cry - this is written like this at the end of the poem, I think you were trying to use an emoticon? If so you will need to use { e:cry } without spaces to create *Cry*




Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
by Maryann- summer travel


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921
921
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Power Review! I found you on the Power Shop Review Board! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

I really like this piece. It gives the reader an insight into a different culture (certainly in my case) and I like that! It's nice to see how holidays and celebrations are in other cultures, how they are celebrated.

You write this piece well explaining all of the smaller details to the reader, however, you do this without being patronising which is good when you're trying to explain something new *Smile*


*NoteR*A few suggestions I had:


         *BulletG*They offer from the food to the entertainers. - I'm not sure whether this is supposed to say something like i.e. They offer everything from good to entertainers.

         *BulletB*They have to contend themselves with the snacks and soda until them. - I think this should be 'then'

         *BulletR*The child expected to cut the first piece of cake - I think here the word 'is' is missing after 'child'



Hope this helped!


But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers Group:

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
by Maryann- summer travel


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922
922
Review of A New Arrival  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey!

This is an Elven Tea Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

This is a nice little piece, giving the reader some insight into your personal life *Smile* Throughout this poem you have suceeded in showing your love and affection towards your unborn son and I can't help but grin at it. I can see these things happening and feel happy for you to be experiencing them! What powerful words you have written!

The piece itself is written well, the rhymes work and the pace is just right.

And I also have to ask... is that picture of Myles?!


*NoteR*A suggestion I had:


         *BulletG*I know, too that I miss you though you're always at my place. - With this line I was wondering briefly if the comma is needed? Just a thought *Smile*




Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Elven Tea Garden:

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923
923
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey!

This is an Elven Tea Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

Again, another really fun and lighthearted poem! I have to say though I'm really glad that you included the explanation at the end otherwise I wouldn't be too clear as to what it was referring!

You've written this cleverly, with the rhymes working well and fitting together. It's fun and I really like the way you have several short sentences within one line, it makes it more realistic in terms of speech/dialogue.

I particularly liked: The creature must be left alone! Don't touch him, love! Don't dare!

I think the line works really well, emphasis the pause and the drama and makes me smile!




Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Elven Tea Garden:

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924
924
Review of The Crimson Rose  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hey!

This is an Elven Tea Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

This piece was written really well and chilled me to the core! You started this piece well detailed the two people living in the house and moving onto her infatuation with the crystal figurines. You build it into the story well and explain the obsession without actually saying it.

The characters feel really and their thoughts and emotions are clear throughout, especially Brad who feels he is losing his wife to an infatuation, which he eventually does!

The story builds well to a fast pace where the story ends in a bizzarely grotesque way, well done!

*NoteR*A thought I had:


         *BulletG*I'm not sure it is entirely needed for the story but I found myself wanting to know about the old lady, who she was, was there a curse? Why?




Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Elven Tea Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

925
925
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hey!

This is an Elven Tea Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*NoteR*What I liked:

This was a fun and lighthearted piece! I do wonder where the inspiration came from, or was it the picture? I think the picture is great and through your use of dialogue you've created three feisty characters. I can really imagine that those birds really do view themselves as king of the world and want to keep their positiion as such!

Well done on a fun write.

*NoteR*A suggestion I had:


         *BulletG*She is refllling the bird feeder. - should be 'refilling'



Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Elven Tea Garden:

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