🌖 HuntersMoon's (huntersmoon) Reviews

🌖 HuntersMoon

Review Requests: OFF

3,125 Public Reviews Given

3,266 Total Reviews Given

Review Style

Honest but encouraging

I use an outline (form)to make sure I've covered all the bases but within that, it's pure dialogue. Let's talk about your write.

I'm good at...

Short Stories and better at Poetry

Favorite Genres

All

826

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3071487

Review of Life of a guinea pig

Review by 🌖 HuntersMoon

Rated: E

| (3.0)

Hi C. S. Potts

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Life of a guinea pig"

[E]

Please note: This is the typical caveat about how these are my impressions. Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It doesn’t matter what I say - of course you’ll take this personally but it’s offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback… nothing more.

First impression:
A talking guinea pig

Creativity:
I quite enjoyed this… of course, having a pair has nothing to do with that

Content:
As a short story, I found this very cute. You used simple words and descriptions just like I’d imagine a guinea pig to use. I thought your descriptions were good – from their love of food to their trusting natures. Nice done.

Technical Notes:
Technically, this was had a lot of issues with misspelled words and punctuation. Too many to list here but I’ll send you an edited version by email. I typically write my work in a program like MS Word that has both a spell check and a grammar check. This lets me concentrate on my words and meaning and not have to be overly concerned with the technicalities.

Overall Rating:

A cute and fun filled poem. Thank you for sharing your talent with me today.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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827

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#3071478

Review of decide your love

Review by 🌖 HuntersMoon

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hi Kayla

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "decide your love"

[E]

Please note: This is the typical caveat about how these are my impressions. Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It doesn’t matter what I say - of course you’ll take this personally but it’s offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback… nothing more.

First impression:
A poem about choosing love.

Creativity:
Simple, direct, your thoughts, your words… very unique.

Content:
As a poem, this was thought provoking. I’m not sure it really conveyed your ideas… but then I’m not sure that love is necessarily a choice. Still, it was an easy read and enjoyable.

Technical Notes:
Technically, this was a very good write. Based on the aabb rhyme scheme, I suspect lines three and four are really supposed to by split. I’ve noticed when you write in some other program (i.e. MS Word) and then copy and paste into WDC, the conversion to HTML doesn’t always recognize spacing. Just as a matter of practice, I’d recommend after posting a poem or write, click on the link and reread it online. You can catch those little SNAFU’s before they go public

.

Overall Rating:

A thought provoking poem. Thank you for sharing your talent with me today.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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828

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#3071459

Review of Jia

Review by 🌖 HuntersMoon

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hi aralls

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Jia"

[E]

Please note: This is the typical caveat about how these are my impressions. Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It doesn’t matter what I say - of course you’ll take this personally but it’s offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback… nothing more.

First impression:
What a wonderful tribute to a friend!

Creativity:
Blank verse suits you.

Beautifully done and engrossing.

Content:
You write of friendship and flowers… each a treasure you’ve found in your life. As you say “God’s goodness, gifts, and grace shining…” Beautiful imagery, wonderful word choice, all combine in this creative poem.

Technical Notes:
Technically, this was a very good write. I saw no mistakes reflecting the caring and craftsmanship you give to your poems.

Overall Rating:

A wonderful tribute, a wonderful poem. Thank you for sharing your talent with me today.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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829

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#3071246

Review of Why Are You Scared?

Review by 🌖 HuntersMoon

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hi Madam_Stana

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Why Are You Scared?"

[E]

Please note: This is the typical caveat about how these are my impressions. Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It doesn’t matter what I say - of course you’ll take this personally but it’s offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback… nothing more.

First impression:
A sad, heart wrenching write.

Creativity:
These are your words and feelings which makes it unique.

Content:
You write of the fear you feel as you’re confronted both by memories of the past and present. You describe this in your words, common place feelings that take on a darkness as you sit facing the unknown. The fact that you know this person (or thought you did) makes this even more disturbing. If true, don’t stay. We all have the power to choose.

Technical Notes:
Technically, this was a very good write. A few minor mistakes in capitalization.

I typically write my work in a program like MS Word that has both a spell check and a grammar check. This lets me concentrate on my words and meaning and not have to be overly concerned with the technicalities.

Overall Rating:

This was a very disturbing write that should serve others well. I hope you write a sequel that shows the strength of the woman who found the courage to write this choosing to protect herself and her child. Thank you for sharing your talent with me today.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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830

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#3071237

Review of Spring

Review by 🌖 HuntersMoon

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hi Inspired...

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Spring"

[E]

Please note: This is the typical caveat about how these are my impressions. Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It doesn’t matter what I say - of course you’ll take this personally but it’s offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback… nothing more.

First impression:
A lovely poem about the coming of Spring.

Creativity:
Although the subject has been written about many times, these are your words and feelings which makes it unique.

Content:
Four quatrains in an aabb rhyme. You open with the coming of Spring and then describe the season in colors and rain-freshened air. Using more than just one sense is an excellent way to bring the reader into your images and let them feel along with you. Nicely done.

Technical Notes:
To punctuate or not to – that is the question.

It would, however, be helpful. Just as you use your words to guide the reader through your images, punctuation helps the reader understand where to pause and where to stop especially if you’re going to capitalize the first letter of each line. I'd also recommend that you try and avoid overly long lines. When I read rhymed poetry, I always look for the cadence or meter to get me into the flow. When you add a comparatively long or short line, you make the reader stumble. For example in the last line you could replace Romeo and Juliet's (7 beats) with "a tragedy" and drop “yet” and your last two lines would have the same meter. Just a thought

Overall Rating:

This was a lovely poem. Thank you for sharing your talent with me today.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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831

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#3070648

Review of My Circus of insanity,passion & romance.

Review by 🌖 HuntersMoon

Rated: 13+

| (3.5)

Hi Freakywolf

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "My Circus of insanity,passion & romance."

[13+]

Please note: This is the typical caveat about how these are my impressions. Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It doesn’t matter what I say - of course you’ll take this personally but it’s offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback… nothing more.

First impression:
Arrrrgh! Let me out of here

… just kidding.

Creativity:
I must admit, I found this quite interesting… it did capture my imagination and held me (no pun intended) through out the read.

Content:
A journey through a troubled mind

or a flight of fancy into the big top of the mind. It was a bit muddled in places, seeming to loop back on itself. Martha seemed a main character but she played a very ancillary role… disappointing a bit.

Technical Notes:
The way you wrote this - all pushed together – made it difficult to follow. I’d really recommend spreading it out a bit. You’ve a really good core story here and you want the reader to follow the twists of your mind, not get lost in the structure of your prose. There were several typos and spacing issues as well. I typically write my work in a program like MS Word that has both a spell check and a grammar check. This lets me concentrate on my words and meaning and not have to be overly concerned with the technicalities.

Overall Rating:

This was a clever approach to looking into the craziness of images that float in our minds. I think you have a talent for this but you need polish to really make this jewel shine. Thank you for sharing your talent with me today.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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832

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#3070642

Review of Four Haikus

Review by 🌖 HuntersMoon

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi Mew

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Four Haikus"

[E]

Please note: This is the typical caveat about how these are my impressions. Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It doesn’t matter what I say - of course you’ll take this personally but it’s offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback… nothing more.

First impression:
A haiku trio

Creativity:
Three diverse but connected haikus… the soft touch of nature in each shines.

Content:
Haiku one was about winter. It flowed well but was not crisp in defining the “aha” moment. Haiku two was an observation about golden flowers. The turn was much better and you opened the reader’s eyes to a new view. Haiku three was autumnal in nature. The closing “painting the cold ground” was the strongest of the three.

Technical Notes:
Your form and word choice were perfect and your voice improved with each write. I was kind of disappointed that you didn’t add a fourth and make each a season which is where I thought you were heading.

Overall Rating:

This was a wonderfully nested series of haikus that reflected the beauty of nature that we so often overlook. I think your talent and skills shone in this trio. Thank you for sharing your talent with me today.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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833

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#3070635

Review of Guitar/lover

Review by 🌖 HuntersMoon

Rated: 18+

| (4.0)

Hi DragonFly

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Guitar/lover"

[18+]

Please note: This is the typical caveat about how these are my impressions. Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It doesn’t matter what I say - of course you’ll take this personally but it’s offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback… nothing more.

First impression:
The sensuality of music.

Creativity:
A beautiful description of the pleasure of… guitar playing

A very captivating perspective.

Content:
This poem describes the sensual relationship you have with your guitar. Nice suggestive images recall other times, other places where the feelings come alive. Nicely done.

Technical Notes:
The use of a repetitive phrase is used to really bring home a point or to show it in a different light and add meaning. I think since so much of each stanza was dedicated to the repetitive refrain, you lost some of that impact.

Overall Rating:

This was a wonderfully sensual poem that reflected the passion of music. I think your talent and skills shone in this poem. Experience will give you more tools to expand your repertoire

. Thank you for sharing your talent with me today.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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834

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#3070592

Review of The Blooper

Review by 🌖 HuntersMoon

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

Hi George R. Lasher

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "The Blooper"

[13+]

Please note: This is the typical caveat about how these are my impressions. Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It doesn’t matter what I say - of course you’ll take this personally but it’s offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback… nothing more.

First impression:
I laughed so hard I “pitched” my pants

- just kidding, couldn’t resist.

Creativity:
A really great tale of our flawed natures and the existence of God and Murphy.

Content:
This tale to your biggest on-air blooper and how the hand of fate saved you was totally engrossing and just too funny. You kept the story moving and add enough detail that the reader could have been sitting there looking over your shoulder. Really well written.

Technical Notes:
I really tried

. Couldn’t find a single error. Well crafted, displaying a masterful command of your tools of the trade.

Overall Rating:

This was a wonderfully warm and humorous story well deserving of the recognition. Thank you for sharing your talent with me today.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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835

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#3070349

Review of Footsteps

Review by 🌖 HuntersMoon

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hi LadyGreyWalker

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Footsteps"

[E]

Please note: This is the typical caveat about how these are my impressions. Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It doesn’t matter what I say - of course you’ll take this personally but it’s offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback… nothing more.

First impression:
A walk with the Lord.

Creativity:
Simple words and a familiar image greet the reader.

Content:
You tell the story of living life with faith in God. You tell of his support and comfort yet recognize the inherent beauty in life. Nicely told.

Technical Notes:
You wrote this as a monorhyme – not an easy task at all. Where possible, I’d try to stay with perfect rhymes (man/can) as opposed to oblique rhymes (understand/man) which does cause a small stumble as the reader progresses through your poem.

Overall Rating:

This was a good poem regardless of whether or not you were “forced” to write it

. It clearly is a statement of your beliefs and faith. Thank you for sharing this with me.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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836

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#3069838

Review of Spring Night's Dream

Review by 🌖 HuntersMoon

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi Lou-Here By His Grace

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Spring Night's Dream"

[E]

Please note: This is the typical caveat about how these are my impressions. Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It doesn’t matter what I say - of course you’ll take this personally but it’s offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback… nothing more.

First impression:
Reminiscences on a late winter’s night.

Creativity:
Nothing fancy – just warm memories on a cold night. A lovely write that captures the imagination of the reader.

Content:
You tell the story of sitting on a winter’s night and remembering the gentle feelings of someone special – once perhaps a lover, now just a memory. A melancholy and soft write that captures that warm feeling.

Technical Notes:
Not a thing to point out. You show attention to detail in the finely crafted story. The only suggestion I would make is to smooth the meter a bit. Your lines vary between five and eight syllables which make the reader stumble a bit.

Overall Rating:

This was a lovely write and well deserving of the first place it won. Congratulations! Thank you for sharing this with me.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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837

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#3069533

Review of Plugged In

Review by 🌖 HuntersMoon

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hi Edward James

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Plugged In"

[E]

Please note: This is the typical caveat about how these are my impressions. Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It doesn’t matter what I say - of course you’ll take this personally but it’s offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback… nothing more.

First impression:
Dark but with a touch of death row humor.

Creativity:
This is so dark it shines and draws the reader on.

Content:
Very powerful imagery (some of which I have no clue about

) that describes the downward spiral to a foregone end. That you willing ride this slide to hell is never really addressed… I guess that’s why they call it addiction. Overall, though, a powerful poem and a claxon crying out to others.

Technical Notes:
Not rhyme, not totally free verse, this still carried a true poetic feel and cadence. Some of the more obscure references were totally out of my realm of understanding so you’ll loose some readers just because of that. Since there’s a strong reference to drugs, I’d consider uping the rating to at least 13+ I’m relatively new here myself but I’m sure they have folks who’ll “remind you”. If you’re not sure of ratings, click on the rating block at the upper right corner of your write and it’ll take you to the explanations.

Overall Rating:

This was a interesting and thought provoking poem, well steeped in humor.

You have skills and talents which shine here. Thank you for sharing this with me.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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838

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#3069524

Review of King Albacore the Arrogant

Review by 🌖 HuntersMoon

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hi Hyperiongate

Me again! It is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "King Albacore the Arrogant"

[E]

Please note: This is the typical caveat about how these are my impressions. Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It doesn’t matter what I say - of course you’ll take this personally but it’s offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback… nothing more.

First impression:
Clever Wizen… Clever Jim

Creativity:
There’s a sense of humor interwoven this tale that keeps it moving and hold the reader’s attention.

Content:
Not quite the usual twist

but close enough. This is a well conceived and well written tale to brain triumphing over brawn… and the folly of the arrogant. You develop the characters and story well. The note – accidently left behind – was a clever ploy to make your point. Well done.

Technical Notes:
What can I say? As usual, this is well written both in form and technique. Bravo for your consistency Jim. One question - was the King of "Tuna-sian" ancestry by chance? (Oh... that almost hurt to say

)

Overall Rating:

This was a clever and thought provoking story, well steeping in your humor.

You have skills and talents which shine here. Thank you for sharing this with me. As usual, I'm sending your GPs back (LOL). Save them for those who don't know your wicked sense of humor and would read just for the pleasure of it.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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839

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#3069512

Review of Tom

Review by 🌖 HuntersMoon

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi Thomas Wicker

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Tom"

[E]

Please note: This is the typical caveat about how these are my impressions. Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It doesn’t matter what I say - of course you’ll take this personally but it’s offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback… nothing more.

First impression:
Tom wonders “what if?”… or maybe “what now?”

Creativity:
There’s a sense of humor interwoven into the seriousness of this that keep this moving and hold the reader’s attention.

Content:
This is more prose than poetry but regardless, it flows well and keeps one’s attention. This seems to be you looking at the stages of your life and considering your evolution. As a rabbit, full of fear, as a dog, comfortable but constrained, and as a lion, dominant but unsatisfied. Enjoyable and thought provoking. Nicely done.

Technical Notes:
To punctuate or not to – that is the question.

Actually, with free verse it’s optional but I suggest consistency is more important. It would, however, be helpful. Just as you use your words to guide the reader through your evolution, punctuation helps the reader understand where to pause and where to stop especially if you’re going to capitalize the first letter of each line. I found myself having to go back a few times when I realized you’d switched thoughts. Just a suggestion

Overall Rating:

This was a clever and thought provoking poem, touched with humor as you described your animal like behavior.

You have skills and talents which shine here. Thank you for sharing this with me.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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840

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#3069474

Review of Sandcastle Memories

Review by 🌖 HuntersMoon

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hi bellieve

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Sandcastle Memories"

[E]

Please note: This is the typical caveat about how these are my impressions. Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It doesn’t matter what I say - of course you’ll take this personally but it’s offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback… nothing more.

First impression:
Your thoughts on the indelibility of memories.

Creativity:
Strong vocabulary and flowing images keep this moving and hold the reader’s attention.

Content:
You manage to keep that poetic feel to this. Your phrasing and words set up a cadence which makes this feel like poetry and that’s the key to free verse. I like your use of metaphor – the ocean and shore – as a reminder of how what has past is never really gone. It’s been used before but your presentation makes it fresh. Nicely done.

Technical Notes:
To punctuate or not to – that is the question.

Actually, with free verse it’s optional but I suggest consistency is more important. In your second stanza, several of the lines need something – commas, periods. It breaks the flow when the reader has to stop and figure out if the thought continues on the next line or are we moving on. Third stanza line four: I think you meant “One” rather than Once. I also noticed (minor really) that you switched tenses. You speak of the past and then the final line is present. It might help to keep consistent with “We’ll always be one.”

Overall Rating:

This was beautiful poem, touched with melancholy as most memories are, and filled with hope. You have skills and talents which shine here. Thank you for sharing this with me.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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841

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#3069457

Review of Short Essay

Review by 🌖 HuntersMoon

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hi LadyLita

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Short Essay"

[E]

Please note: This is the typical caveat about how these are my impressions. Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It doesn’t matter what I say - of course you’ll take this personally but it’s offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback… nothing more.

First impression:
A silent message to ones heart’s desire.

Creativity:
Strong vocabulary and flowing images keep this moving and hold the reader’s attention.

Content:
While I think this is more prose than poetry, you do manage to keep that poetic feel to this. Your phrasing and words set up a cadence which makes this feel like poetry.

Technical Notes:
Your spelling, grammar – all support a well crafted story. Form wise, you wrote this much like a letter. I think adding some spacing, rather than clumping it all together would really help in the reading. If you originally had spacing but it didn't show - look at the bottom of the page in edit mode. There's a check box which says "Preserver spacing" that's often overlooked by new folks

. Checking it will keep your original spacing. You also didn't "rate" this. At the top of the page (in edit mode) you have two ratings - one for the lead in and one for content. When you don't select one, it restricts access to this to only those 18+. It's an easy fix

.

Overall Rating:

This was a note in a bottle - offering a wonderful glimpse into your heart and set among the waves. You have skills and talents which shine here. Thank you for sharing this with me.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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842

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#3069418

Review of Under Celine

Review by 🌖 HuntersMoon

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hi SeanFhear

My name is Ken (still

) and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Under Celine"

[E]

Please note: This is the typical caveat about how these are my impressions. Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It doesn’t matter what I say - of course you’ll take this personally but it’s offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback… nothing more.

First impression:
The moon as a witness to passion.

Creativity:
I loved that incorporated Celine into this. It really adds a brightness to your words, drawing the reader into the larger world of the ancient moon and all the lovers she’s watched.

Content:
Your rhyme and flow is very nice… even it you started with an oblique rhyme (witness/hopeless)

. Your words draw the image of Celine watching the birth of love and passion, yet remaining aloof… just an observer. Really well done.

Technical Notes:
Nothing of note. Well crafted. Some of the lines are a bit “fuzzy” as to meaning as when you say “lifeless remained, and lifeless shall be so”… it felt as if there was something missing… so? and it ends. Forget the imagery and just read the poem out loud without your mental picture of the scene you’re describing. Listen to the words as an outsider and you’ll be able to catch any places where you need additional clarity.

Overall Rating:

This was a beautiful write and an enjoyable read. You have skills and talents which shine here. Thank you for sharing this with me.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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843

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#3069400

Review of The End

Review by 🌖 HuntersMoon

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi Zepp

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "The End"

[E]

Please note: This is the typical caveat about how these are my impressions. Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It doesn’t matter what I say - of course you’ll take this personally but it’s offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback… nothing more.

First impression:
A sophisticated soliloquy on loneliness.

Creativity:
I quite enjoyed the complex rhyme scheme… you did an excellent job.

Content:
Your rhyme, encompassing both end and internal rhyme, was very clever and well done. Your use of imagery was solid, painting pictures with your words that communicate the push and pull of loneliness and love that resides in each of us..

Technical Notes:
Your spelling, grammar – all support a well crafted poem. Nothing noted. Form wise, your meter (i.e. syllable count per line) makes this read in a bumpy manner. I think, as you get more into the mechanics of writing, you’ll find that 8 – 10 is a “speaking” count – it’s about a breath’s worth

. There are several contests each month on this site and I encourage you to start writing in them. Several are “form” contests and that’s really helped me with understanding the finer points of poetry.

Overall Rating:

This was a sad poem but an enjoyable read. You have skills and talents which shine here. Thank you for sharing this with me.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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844

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3069241

Review of The Rose

Review by 🌖 HuntersMoon

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi melhelson

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "The Rose"

[E]

Please note: This is the typical caveat about how these are my impressions. Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It doesn’t matter what I say - of course you’ll take this personally but it’s offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback… nothing more.

First impression:
A heartbreaking tale of giving your child up

Creativity:
Your feelings, your words… that makes it unique.

Content:
You started with a nice rhyme and rhythm which seemed to breakdown as your emotions took over at the end. I can understand that

. You did a very good job of describing the emotions and feelings you went through as you placed your child up for adoption. The metaphor of planting her in new soil where she would thrive was very apropos.

Technical Notes:
Your spelling, grammar – all support a well crafted poem.

Overall Rating:

This was a sad but enjoyable poem. You have skills and talents which show here. Thank you for sharing this with me. I'm returning your autoaward GPs - reading this was payment enough.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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845

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3069238

Review of Hold On

Review by 🌖 HuntersMoon

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hi twInx

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Hold On"

[E]

Please note: This is the typical caveat about how these are my impressions. Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It doesn’t matter what I say - of course you’ll take this personally but it’s offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback… nothing more.

First impression:
A broken heart and a plea

Creativity:
Your feelings, your words… that makes it unique.

Content:
Very nicely set up in quatrains, you started off with a great meter and strong rhyme. This collapsed a bit in fourth and fifth stanzas. You capture the confusion and heartbreak of love ending and weave the emotions into your words.

Technical Notes:
Your spelling, grammar – all support a well crafted poem. You did get a bit repetitive toward the end so I’d work on finding other words and expressions to translate your feelings onto the page.

Overall Rating:

This was a sad but enjoyable poem. You have skills and talents which show here. Work on finding your voice. Thank you for sharing this with me.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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846

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3069081

Review of The Last Generation

Review by 🌖 HuntersMoon

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hi Hyperiongate

It’s me again

and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "The Last Generation"

[E]

Please note: This is the typical caveat about how these are my impressions. Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It doesn’t matter what I say - of course you’ll take this personally but it’s offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback… nothing more.

First impression:
Jim is back!

Creativity:
What a terrific tale – and a great ending.

Content:
A kindler, gentler Terminator, the creativity of the human mind once more triumphs in this science fiction tale of robots versus mankind. You build the suspense up, set the groundwork for the finale, and *twist* surprise us all

.

Technical Notes:
Your spelling, grammar – all support a well crafted story.

Overall Rating:

This was such an enjoyable story. Your imaginative writes are always a pleasure to read. Thank you for sharing this with me.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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847

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3069065

Review of Lost Without You

Review by 🌖 HuntersMoon

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hi Korie

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Lost Without You"

[E]

Please note: This is the typical caveat about how these are my impressions. Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It doesn’t matter what I say - of course you’ll take this personally but it’s offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback… nothing more.

First impression:
A woeful tale of lost love.

Creativity:
Your use of a refrain line is very good.

Content:
This really isn’t a rhyme poem but there are many rhymes intermixed in your writing. It’s a nice balance and works well although generally I recommend you use one or the other.

Technical Notes:
Your spelling, grammar – all supports a well crafted poem. There is an apparent disconnect between “dying all alone” and your ending “goodnight, goodbye” but maybe that’s just me

Overall Rating:

This was a well written and sad poem. Thank you for sharing this with me.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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848

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3069044

Review of My Barrier

Review by 🌖 HuntersMoon

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi Adelaide

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "My Barrier"

[E]

Please note: This is the typical caveat about how these are my impressions. Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It doesn’t matter what I say - of course you’ll take this personally but it’s offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback… nothing more.

First impression:
The secret you.

Creativity:
Well done… a nicely developed litany of that inner part that we all have but don’t or can’t share.

Content:
At first I saw the form as too restrictive… but it actually works

This is a very lean free write so it’s important that you choose the right words. A stark write, nicely done.

Technical Notes:
Your spelling, grammar – all supports a well crafted poem. I’m not a big fan of spatial free verse but this seems to work, dividing the inner and outer you.

Overall Rating:

This was a well written and thoughtful poem. Thank you for sharing this with me.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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849

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3068980

Review of Gone

Review by 🌖 HuntersMoon

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hi Potter's Writer

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Gone "

[E]

Please note: This is the typical caveat about how these are my impressions. Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It doesn’t matter what I say - of course you’ll take this personally but it’s offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback… nothing more.

First impression:
From adversity, strength.

Creativity:
The refrain actually works well and helps define your stages of sadness, anger, acceptance, and growth.

Content:
At first I saw the form as too restrictive… but it actually works

This is a very lean free write so it’s important that you choose the right words. A stark write, nicely done.

Technical Notes:
Your spelling, grammar – all supports a well crafted poem. Because you truncated your lines so severely, I’d recommend that you at least make the last line two to try for a little spatial balance. Just my thoughts

Overall Rating:

This was a well written and thoughtful poem. Thank you for sharing this with me.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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850

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3068922

Review of Moon Dance

Review by 🌖 HuntersMoon

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hi ShellySunshine

My name is Ken (as if you didn’t know

) and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Moon Dance"

[E]

Please note: This is the typical caveat about how these are my impressions. Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It doesn’t matter what I say - of course you’ll take this personally but it’s offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback… nothing more.

First impression:
Wow… speak of having love for someone.

Creativity:
I really loved the feel and flow of this.

Content:
You are the queen of imagery… making love on the moon, floating among the clouds, all wonderful metaphors for a heart that’s bound to another.

Technical Notes:
I saw nothing obvious. Your spelling, grammar – all supports a well crafted poem. I wondeer if this shouldn't be ASR? I'm not that familiar with the rating system and whether or not "making love" (which is natural and normal) is beyond the line here.

Overall Rating:

This was a beautiful peek into your heart. Thank you for sharing this with me.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

On behalf of "Invalid Item"

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