🌕 HuntersMoon's (huntersmoon) Reviews

🌕 HuntersMoon

Review Requests: OFF

3,120 Public Reviews Given

3,261 Total Reviews Given

Review Style

Honest but encouraging

I use an outline (form)to make sure I've covered all the bases but within that, it's pure dialogue. Let's talk about your write.

I'm good at...

Short Stories and better at Poetry

Favorite Genres

All

901

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14 days may be credited.

#3044213

Review of Freedom

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hi Ben Langhinrichs

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Freedom"

[E]

Please note: This is the typical caveat about how these are my impressions. Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It doesn’t matter what I say - of course you’ll take this personally but it’s offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback… nothing more.

First impression:
An uplifting write about freedom.

Creativity:
You managed to fit so much truth in so few words. Well done.

Content:
"The seeds are planted by our deeds." So many - average citizens and leaders alike - forget this basic priniciple. Well said!

Technical Notes:
Perfect form, perfect language, perfect poem.

Overall Rating:

A wonderfully simple write about a complex subject. Congratualtions for creating such a marvelous poem. Congratulations on winning the daily round!

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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902

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#3043120

Review of A Wild Goose Chase

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hi ShiShad

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "A Wild Goose Chase"

[E]

Please note: This is the typical caveat about how these are my impressions. Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It doesn’t matter what I say - of course you’ll take this personally but it’s offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback… nothing more.

First impression:
Ahhh nature. We love it but it doesn't always love us back

Creativity:
A nice open-form abab rhyme pulls the reader right along this humorous tale of man versus beast.

Content:
Nice imagery helps tell the story of you and your run in with the beast of the reeds. Your use of enjambment - carrying the thoughts from one line to the next - really helps this feel like a complete story and aids the flow of your tale. Your use of real rhymes is very strong and also makes this a pleasure to read.

Technical Notes:
Hmmm... "scuffle"?

Okay - "hurried confusion" although it's a tertiary meaning and apt to confuse a few

. Bravo for your originality...

Overall Rating:

I applaud your tale and use of the poetic medium to tell this story... Bet next time you'll retreat! Thank you for sharing this bit of humor with me today. We can all use more to smile about. Happy second WDC birthday!

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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903

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#3043094

Review of You are You

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

Rated: 18+

| (4.5)

Hi SonofDrogo

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "You are You"

[18+]

Please note: This is the typical caveat about how these are my impressions. Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It doesn’t matter what I say - of course you’ll take this personally but it’s offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback… nothing more.

First impression:
Pastiche indeed! (meant in the imitation, not hodge-podge way

)

Creativity:
I think you channeled the good Doctor is a humorous and creative way. Both of yous (youse?)...

Content:
I found it good news that both of yous found a way to choose to get beyond your blues. Darn, now you've got me doing it

I found this very creative and humorous and tongue twisting. Very well done and I'm sure it was a success.

Technical Notes:
A few minor blemishes - specifically where you broke lines (I'm assuming to keep them from being really long) and the rhyme was carried over. This broke the strong rhythm and rhyme you had going.

Overall Rating:

and a

Overall, this was a most enjoyable read, filled with the silliness of Dr. Seuss but carrying the truth of your discomfort with public speaking. Thank you for adding a big smile to my day!

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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904

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#3042676

Review of The mistaken birthday

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hi Uday Kanth

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "The mistaken birthday"

[E]

Please note: This is the typical caveat about how these are my impressions. Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It doesn’t matter what I say - of course you’ll take this personally but it’s offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback… nothing more.

First impression:
You've taken the stereotypical woman (who everyone knows lies about her age

) and turned it into a wonderfully warm and funny tale.

Creativity:
A great concept for a story and the ending is perfect. It kept my attention the whole way through. Really well done.

Content:
While you really stretched my ability to believe when you started out that "Mary" didn't remember her birthday - once I conceded that she wasn't like my wife - the tale moved well. You did lose me at the transition which could use some work as you move from the home to the office but again, once I caught up with you, it moved. The ending was perfect... I love that by lying about her age, suddenly she realizes that "You're four years older now!"

Technical Notes:
OK - I realize this was written a while ago and I'm sure your skill has increased. Never the less, you have a lot of little errors that kept grabbing my attention and diverting me from the story. For example: In the first paragraph you state "That was odd because, it was still 6:00am..." The comma made me pause (that's its purpose} but there was no reason to. I typically write my work in a program like MS Word that has both a spell check and a grammar check. This lets me concentrate on my words and meaning and not have to be overly concerned with the technicalities. I would recommend that and it would catch 90% of the errors I saw.

Overall Rating:

I think the concept of this was absolutely spot on! What a cute story you created. It does need some polish but the idea is terrific. I hope you come back and tighten this up. Thank you for a great tale and warm smiles today.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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905

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#3042250

Review of The Storm

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi Dreamer

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "The Storm"

[E]

Please note: This is the typical caveat about how these are my impressions. Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It doesn’t matter what I say - of course you’ll take this personally but it’s offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback… nothing more.

First impression:
A nice Lanett about interpersonal conflicts.

Creativity:
This is a strange form - almost feels like blank verse meets sonnet . That said, you made it flow with emotion and meaning. Well done.

Content:
Your transition from the storm to the relationship was very smooth and I really liked how you kept them entertwined as the poem progressed. "Will the haze glide by... or can we move on, mistakes washed away?" You keep the images moving together which keeps the strom analogy an integral part of the poem.

Technical Notes:
Lines 2 and 13 exceeded the 10 syllable line count but can be easily corrected. In lines 9 & 13, no comma needed.
Other than that - good flow, great grammar, and no errors noted. Well done.

Overall Rating:

and a

Really nicely done. A very enjoyable read. Best of luck in the contest...

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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906

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#3042129

Review of Without You, I'm Better

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

Rated: ASR

| (4.5)

OK Wyn... last one

I saw this under recently created but looking at the number, I'd say more like recently modified. Still, the fact that you're still interested in this piece makes it a natural choice for me. It is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Without You, I'm Better"

[ASR]

Please note: This is the typical caveat about how these are my impressions. Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It doesn’t matter what I say - of course you’ll take this personally but it’s offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback… nothing more.

First impression:
A good-bye to an unfaithful spouse.

Creativity:
The abab quatrain form works well with this. The emotions are clear, the images sharp, and you keep the reader's interest.

Content:
I think you did an excellent job of stating your rationale and supporting the decision you come to in the final quatrain... although it's pretty obvious you already knew where this was heading. You build, step by step, to the ending... your initial defense to grudging acceptance to the death of love.

Technical Notes:
Meter! Some of the lines felt truncated - like you cut them a bit short to try and maintain an eveness (fourth quatrain, line one: "... I've made my mind.") Overall, well done. No errors noted.

Overall Rating:

and a

I see why you came back to this - poetically. A powerful write and - in spite of the pain that's hidden between the lines - a personal vindication for the decision that was ultimately made. Thank you for sharing this bit of yourself with me. Bravo for the courage that it took to write.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken
** Image ID #1528017 Unavailable **

907

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14 days may be credited.

#3041974

Review of Tears of Sorrow

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi Koyel~writing again

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Tears of Sorrow"

[E]

Please note: This is the typical caveat about how these are my impressions. Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It doesn’t matter what I say - of course you’ll take this personally but it’s offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback… nothing more.

First impression:
A wonderful description of a rainy, stormy day.

Creativity:
You choice of words and images bring the prompt from a static to an active image in the reader's mind.

Content:
You use strong sensory laden words - platter and splatter, pelt, - words that bring in other senses than just visual. This is a wonderful way to add depth to your poetry. Well done!

Technical Notes:
A few awkward phrases... like "shedding to..." the "to" is superfluous and seems more used as a filler word to reach the needed ten syllables. The Lanette form, however, is perfect!

.

Overall Rating:

and a

It's such a pleasure to watch you grow as a poet. You never give up! Bravo to you for your progress. I look forward to reading more of you (like your Musette

).

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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908

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#3041913

Review of Ring Around The Rosey...

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hi Hidden Writer

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Ring Around The Rosey..."

[E]

Please note: This is the typical caveat about how these are my impressions. Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It doesn’t matter what I say - of course you’ll take this personally but it’s offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback… nothing more.

First impression:
A dark dream

Creativity:
I like that you wove this into a familiar children's rhyme. It really adds to the darkness.

Content:
The simplicity of this adds to the dark feeling. So many of the old children's rhymes have that quality which you've picked up on in this dark write. Touches of dream and the fear of falling so many experience in dreams bring your words home in a visceral manner. All in all, a interesting write. I think there is much more lurking here, however. I wouldn't abandon this just yet. I see it's been a while since you wrote this - it might be worthwhile to revisit it and see what else comes to mind.
The original poem actually had it origins in London around the time of the Black Plague...

Technical Notes:
Line 4 - "creeps" - the other kind means the type of guy you run into but don't want to

.

Overall Rating:

Simple, dark, distrubing... Nicely done! Thank you for sharing your poetic vision with me today.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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909

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#3041255

Review of Horticultural Homonyms

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi Outasync

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Horticultural Homonyms"

[E]

Please note: This is the typical caveat about how these are my impressions. Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It doesn’t matter what I say - of course you’ll take this personally but it’s offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback… nothing more.

First impression:
Homonym heaven

Creativity:
Homonyms are an oft overlooked source of fun and inspiration. You did really well with this (although "pare trees" -

a horrible pun LOL)

Content:
I like how you use the homonyms to explore parallel ideas around trees. Whether their use as food sources, fungus sources, or simply as a focus for your OCD

, you complete each stanza and don't leave the reader hanging. Nicely done and a fun read.

Technical Notes:
Typo line two: should be "trees" although if your meant "tress" then it should go in the "paring" stanza. (Just teasing). Other than that, it looks well crafted.

Overall Rating:

and a

Overall, an enjoyable read. Thank you for sharing this bit of homonym humor with me today.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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910

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14 days may be credited.

#3041243

Review of Terry Dog and Cat Palace

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hi care_a_lot

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Terry Dog and Cat Palace"

[E]

Please note: This is the typical caveat about how these are my impressions. Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It doesn’t matter what I say - of course you’ll take this personally but it’s offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback… nothing more.

First impression:
Can I come and stay?

Creativity:
I think you did a good job describing the benefits... although I think you undersold it.

Content:
Nicely done but, as mentioned, undersold. I think you reverted to "dog" as you wrote since much of what followed appeared more geared toward canine than feline. Still, I thought you brought out the main points well.

Technical Notes:
Some of the phrasing should be read out loud - "We have excellent support staff to bathe and groom." Now why would I want to bathe and groom your support staff?

There is some abiguity in the way you say things that could be sharped.

Overall Rating:

A nice effort. Yes, it could be improved but I'd take my dogs there

.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

This review is being conducted on behalf
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and
the THE TALENT POND "Water Balloon Relay *Closed*"

[E]

911

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14 days may be credited.

#3041021

Review of I am

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi Royal Court Jester

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "I am"

[E]

Please note: This is the typical caveat about how these are my impressions. Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It doesn’t matter what I say - of course you’ll take this personally but it’s offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback… nothing more.

First impression:
A statement of belief - a statement of your life philosophy.

Creativity:
These are your words, your feelings... they represent who you are striving to be.

Content:
I like that you make these observations/statements on your own behalf, not pushing others but simply offering them openess and acceptance. A very powerful write. Your opening line "without necessity, all wants mean nothing" is a wonderful and thought provoking view of the world.

Technical Notes:
Overall, well done. In line ten, you've repeated the word "who" twice (a small typo). I really saw this as a personal value statement so I was a bit confused at the end with the line "we're all here for you"... It seemed like everything leading up to that would have been better summarized as "I'm here for you". Just a thought.

Overall Rating:

and a

You're lucky in your beliefs and ability to clearly state them. A very reasurring write given the state of the world today. Thank you for sharing your philosophy in such a poetic manner. A very enjoyable read.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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912

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#3040938

Review of The Brook by the Road

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hi Artemis.

Better, my friend... but the rhyme still needs some work. Remember lines 3/6/9 need to rhyme. Candor/chatter/babbler - yes they all have similar sounds but they are oblique rhymes - rhymes that are close but not exact: lap/shape, glorious/nefarious. You can keep them but it's always better if you can find perfect rhymes (man/can, guest/dressed).

Something like:
It was a stream meandering,
Was it calm or abandoning?,
God designed it with fluid grace.
So cool, so blue ever ambling,
Sounds it projected, as bubbling,
It seemed to chatter on its face
A memorable first impression,
It was tranquil, my heart did gladden,
Its liquid sounds I did embrace.

That's the "c" rhyme scheme that the form calls for ...

Take care,

Ken

913

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#3040795

Review of 2am

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi Winn Storm

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "2am"

[E]

Please note: This is the typical caveat about how these are my impressions. Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It doesn’t matter what I say - of course you’ll take this personally but it’s offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback… nothing more.

First impression:
A lament for a heart hurt by life... and a plea for understanding.

Creativity:
Very nicely done. Not all broken hearts are from a lover. Life has a way of driving disappointment's nails into our souls and the damage can be just as disasterous.

Content:
A fresh look at heartbreak - you've manage to shed a new light on a subject that's been the poet's favorite since time memorial. Really well done. The missing pieces analogy was very well concieved. The heart of the poem was the concluding stanza and the emotional impact was beautifully entwined in your words.

Technical Notes:
This was written in "vers libre" so capitalization and punctuation are arbitratry. That said, you must rely on clarity of meaning. In the first stanza, the last line seems to be missing a word. "to the pieces together"... I think "hold" is the missing word. In the first line of the second stanza, I think you mean "too roughly" The rest is error free

Overall Rating:

and a

I found the a very enjoyable read (in spite of the subject). It felt fresh and the words and form really carry the emotions and feelings well. A few minor corrections and this will be a sparkling star even at 2 a.m. Thank you for sharing your poetic vision with me.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

This review is being conducted on behalf
THE PAPER DOLL GANG "Invalid Item"

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914

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#3040773

Review of Gran's Wisdom

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

Rated: 18+

| (5.0)

Hi Ben Langhinrichs

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work {rItem:}

Please note: This is the typical caveat about how these are my impressions. Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It doesn’t matter what I say - of course you’ll take this personally but it’s offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback… nothing more.

First impression:
Hmmm - no emoticons available showing a fish hook - but you got me

Creativity:
A wonderfully clever write... such a serious beginning and such a laugh-out-loud ending. Brilliant!

Content:
A terrifically engrossing tale pulls the reader in as we follow the story from first blood to Gran's story of portending doom. Then, at the moment of revelation - you pull the rug out and leave us hanging in laughter. A terrible pun, at that

Technical Notes:
Error free!

Overall Rating:

Congratulations on winning day 1. A well deserved placement for this bit of bawdy humor dressed in the finery of familial wisdom. Thank you for sharing this! It certainly started my day with a grin.

(Yes, I'm returning your GPs - reading this was more than payment enough!)

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

This review is being conducted on behalf
THE PAPER DOLL GANG "Invalid Item"

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[E]

915

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#3039431

Review of Beneath the Surface

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi aralls

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Beneath the Surface"

[E] You've done so many reviews of my work, it's only fair I return the favor (Hmmm they don't seem to have a "mu-haaa-haaa" icon

)

Please note: This is the typical caveat about how these are my impressions. Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It doesn’t matter what I say - of course you’ll take this personally but it’s offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback… nothing more.

First impression:
A sweet plea for acceptance... asking to look beyond the surface to the person inside.

Creativity:
Very nice couplets filled with emotion that pull the reader into this.

Content:
The heart of this can be found in the line "If you would allow yourself to see..." So often we judge based on transient things - looks, wealth - and never take the time to know another. Your poem captures that and offers the reader a chance to look beyond. Beautifully done.

Technical Notes:
A few oblique rhymes (singular rhyming with plural) but they are lost in the wisdom you've penned. Typo on S3L2 "still". The rest is solid... nice rhythm, grammar, et. al. Well done!

Overall Rating:

and a

"Not all old men are fools, some are even wise." If you consider yourself old, then you've proven this. If you don't, then you are wise indeed

A really nice read. Thank you for sharing!

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

This review is being conducted on behalf
THE PAPER DOLL GANG "Invalid Item"

and
the THE TALENT POND "Water Balloon Relay *Closed*"

[E]

916

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#3038322

Review of The Brook by the Road

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

Rated: E

| (3.0)

Hi Artemis...

I see I was right

. You did try your hand at this form. It is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "The Brook by the Road"

[E]

Please note: This is the typical caveat about how these are my impressions. Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It doesn’t matter what I say - of course you’ll take this personally but it’s offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback… nothing more.

First impression:
First things first - why 18+? I think you must have misrated this. This is beautiful and deserves nothing more than an E.

Creativity:
A wondereful nature poem that looks at the beauty of water - a part of all of us that has magic.

Content:
Nicely described with flowing images that seem to mimic the water's own path and feel.

Technical Notes:
You know I'm not going to let you off easy

OK - lets start with the rhyme scheme which is "aacbbcddc" That means lines 3, 6, and 9 should rhyme (you have: candor/slither/brighter) Also lines 7 and 8: impression/curtain need to rhyme. Also - if you look at the prompt image - it's a road, not a stream

I made the same mistake in my first write believe it or not and had to rewrite it!

Overall Rating:

Luckily, you have time to revise. I know your talent and I know you'll do it. Let me know when you're done and I'll come back and rerate it! I get confused at times myself and I've always been blessed with someone catching my mistakes before the judge

. Looking forward to hearing from you (and make it soon

) Yes, I'm returning your GPs... I love poetry too much to get paid to read it.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

This review is being conducted on behalf
THE PAPER DOLL GANG "Invalid Item"

and
the THE TALENT POND "Water Balloon Relay *Closed*"

[E]

Image #1544633 over display limit. -?-

917

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#3036895

Review of Your Tulips

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi Scribbler Erased

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Your Tulips"

[E]. Wow, only 6 digits... this is old

. Bet you forgot you wrote it, huh? Nothing is safe from an inquisitive mind.

Please note: This is the typical caveat about how these are my impressions. Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It doesn’t matter what I say - of course you’ll take this personally but it’s offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback… nothing more.

First impression:
A pun, perhaps, but a wonderful rememberance to someone special.

Creativity:
I really like the form. It's oddity makes for an interesting read.

Content:
Nice imagery... the tulips (or two lips) as "vibrant flashes of promise" There is a lot of double entendre that can be read into this seemingly simple poem... Playful and fun to read.

Technical Notes:
OK - as I read this I kept thinking "3.14159..." You made me read the form and realize that this was based the original estimate. Thank you for the education as well as the entertainment. My only pause was the closing line. Planting in your memory... It seems, based on the preceding line, that it was planted in your own mind. It just didn't seem to follow and left the poem on a confusing note.

Then again, perhaps it was only me.

Overall Rating:

and a

I never question a poets motives

Confusing or not, this was a fun and interesting read. I do hope you've continued to write poetry - I will browse onward. Thank you for sharing this original form and your poetic interpretations...

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

Image #1524164 over display limit. -?-
Image #1544633 over display limit. -?-

918

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#3036874

Review of Promises of Spring

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hi SouthernDiva

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Promises of Spring"

[E]. I'll admit - I'm a haiku junkie

and couldn't pass up the chance.

Please note: This is the typical caveat about how these are my impressions. Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It doesn’t matter what I say - of course you’ll take this personally but it’s offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback… nothing more.

First impression:
A lovely nature write with a twist of humor.

Creativity:
Your "aha" moment brough a big smile to my face. Clever and creative view!

Content:
Nice use of imagery. The challenge of haiku is to bring an image to the reader in such a constrained environment. You've done that in this warm promise (or maybe threat

) of spring.

Technical Notes:
Perfect form for a traditional write. The syllabic patterns, the nature theme, the reveal. A really lovely and warm write.

Overall Rating:

There is nothing to fault here. I love the ironic twist you gave this... it's sure to bring a smile to anyone with a lawn! Thank you for sharing this bit of beauty and whimsy with me. I note that is several years old... I do hope you're continuing your poetry. You're too good to have quit. I'll have to dig deeper, I guess

.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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#3036854

Review of The Poet

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

Rated: ASR

| (4.0)

Hi ystab

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "The Poet"

[ASR]. I'm always interested in what makes other poets "tick"... and you're title drew me in.

Please note: This is the typical caveat about how these are my impressions. Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It doesn’t matter what I say - of course you’ll take this personally but it’s offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback… nothing more.

First impression:
A tale of a poet losing himself in his words and imagination.

Creativity:
You use unsual images... they pull the reader in and make them question the meanings of your words. This has the advantage of making the poem both contemplative but also makes the meaning difficult to comprehend.

Content:
Hey - my nose isn't bulky nor is it pointed!

The refrain "As he chisels donwn words" clearly shows this is about the writing and less about the poet. I saw reflections of my own feelings here ( "I write..."

[E] if you're curious}. Getting lost in the world of words and expression, the real world fades... You've done a very creative write about those feelings. Some of the imagery, however, I think would be difficult for those not steeped in poetry to understand.

Technical Notes:
Well done. No errors noted.

. A clean write keeps the distractions away and you've managed to do that with an easy rhyme and clear words.

Overall Rating:

I think you did a really good job in expressing yourself in terms you understand viscerally... these are your feelings and images. Personally, I think that's the first step in writing good poetry. The second step - and perhaps the harder - is making those feeling resonate in the reader. That requires that you "step back" and look at your words through the eyes of stanger. I look forward to reading your future writes. Thank you for sharing this bit of yourself with me today.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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#3036780

Review of Life-Song

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi Charmaine

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Life-Song"

[E]

Please note: This is the typical caveat about how these are my impressions. Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It doesn’t matter what I say - of course you’ll take this personally but it’s offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback… nothing more.

First impression:
A joyful tale of Spring through the eyes of Gaea.

Creativity:
As advertised

. An uplifting tale indeed! Your exhuberence flows through this and infects the reader. Nicely done.

Content:
Nice imagery brings this to life, adding the involvement of other senses... visual ("birds swooping"), auditory ("clapping and singing") to involve the reader on many levels. A really strong sensory write that's full of your own joy. I did notice the British spelling of fervor

. Some of the imagery seemed like a film running backwards which was disconcerting on first read... I'm not sure why you chose that but, once I got beyond, it seemed more playful and actually added to the whimsy of this.

Technical Notes:
Since you chose free verse, the center align seems somehow distracting... Nothing wrong with it - just maybe the way my mind works (or doesn't LOL). A few small technical items I noticed. Line 2 should end with a period or comma - there's a natural pause there but overall this was well conceived and well written!

Overall Rating:

and a

What a fun read. Your enthusiasm is contagious and sown through the words and images you've created. Thank you for sharing this uplifting write and your poetic vision! I'm returning your GPs - I enjoy poetry and need no other inducements.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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#3036373

Review of This Broken Heart(Acrostic)

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi Koyel~writing again

My name is Ken. Thank you for your wonderful comments on my poetry. I am here to reciprocate

. It is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "This Broken Heart(Acrostic)"

[E]

Please note: This is the typical caveat about how these are my impressions. Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It doesn’t matter what I say - of course you’ll take this personally but it’s offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback… nothing more.

First impression:
Remind me not to get you mad at me

A tale of broken trust and a broken heart.

Creativity:
I love acrostics! They are a challenge to make the words flow naturally while still capturing the words that form the "secret message". You did this very well!

Content:
A nice flow makes this very readable. You kept the lines uniform which adds to the ease of reading this. Your meaning and message are wonderfully clear... as is your ire at the SOB who broke your trust! By the way, I love the word "nestle" - it was a delightful surprise.

Technical Notes:
A few little bumps

. Line 6 - a comma after "you"; Line 8 - a comma after "consequences" I also question why you rated this 18+ There's nothing here that younger readers shouldn't read or couldn't understand - and they're the ones in greatest danger of this happening too

. Ahh young love!

Overall Rating:

and a

A really good acrostic! You've made this read and feel very natural. Thank you for sharing this wonderfully clever write with me.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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#3036358

Review of True loves first kiss

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

Rated: E

| (3.5)

Hi mininessie

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "True loves first kiss"

[E]

Please note: This is the typical caveat about how these are my impressions. Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It doesn’t matter what I say - of course you’ll take this personally but it’s offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback… nothing more.

First impression:
A hope, a prayer, a dream...

Creativity:
Your use of end and internal rhymes made for a interesting read.

Content:
I felt like you sacrificed some of your meaning in looking for rhyme. You used several words repetitiously such as in the last four lines of stanza one where "miss" and "kiss" are used on top of each other. This compresses the poem and makes the reader feel like you're repeating yourself. If that's your intent - may I suggest looking at form poetry such as Villanelle's or Rondel's which are designed to repeat but show the words in a different light and meaning.

Technical Notes:
I noticed the use of punctuation seemed almost random. You ended every line with a comma or period. The end of line is a natural pause so - unless required - you don't need to add in commas. Line six end with a period but really isn't a sentence. I typically write my work in a program like MS Word that has both a spell check and a grammar check. This lets me concentrate on my words and meaning and not have to be overly concerned with the technicalities.

Overall Rating:

and

You have the raw talent for poetry... this was both emotional and uplifting. I noticed that you don't do much poetry and I really encourage you to continue. Thank you for sharing your words and thoughts with me. (Yes,

- I'm returning your GPs. I enjoy reading poetry and no other rewards are required)

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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#3035493

Review of Falling

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hi ragefire2000

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Falling"

[E]

Please note: This is the typical caveat about how these are my impressions. Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It doesn’t matter what I say - of course you’ll take this personally but it’s offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback… nothing more.

First impression:
100 emotion packed words!

Creativity:
OK - I checked

No repeats. Short, suspenseful, exciting... a perfect blend of artistry and adventure.

Content:
I like that you didn't "telegraph" the opening. It became apparent that you were parachuting as the action shifted from the serenity of golden rays and billowing clouds to uncontrolled tumbling and panic. You developed this short tale with a great balance of imagery and word choice building up the suspense and excitement in a masterful manner.

Technical Notes:
What can I say? You want longer reviews? Don't write so well

Perfect - no errors.

Overall Rating:

A delightful tale, well told.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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#3031500

Review of Slow Jam

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hi Joan...

Me again

This is your lucky day! You choose number 25 on the "Invalid Item"

! Your prize is a fully detailed, intensively considered, soul searing... 5 word review

which follows, to wit:

Sensuously slow soul song serenade

Thank you for sharing this bit of your poetic vision...

Ken

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925

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14 days may be credited.

#3030985

Review of Music Room Memories

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)

Hi Megan...

Tired of me yet?

You picked luck number 10 in "Invalid Item"

. It is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Music Room Memories"

[E]

Please note: This is the typical caveat about how these are my impressions. Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It doesn’t matter what I say - of course you’ll take this personally but it’s offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback… nothing more.

First impression:
A life of loneliness, of patience, of ultimate fullfillment.

Creativity:
I like poems that span long periods and this was an interesting and comprehensive write. Well done

Content:
Nice imagery and the illustrations really go well with the poem. The action takes place with the Music Room as silent witness - an imaginative approach to marking the stages of her life.

Technical Notes:
Nothing to note. This was a solid, well written poem.

Overall Rating:

A very enjoyable read! Thank you for bringing this story to life with your poetic vision.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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