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Review Requests: OFF
3,120 Public Reviews Given
3,261 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Honest but encouraging *Smile* I use an outline (form)to make sure I've covered all the bases but within that, it's pure dialogue. Let's talk about your write.
I'm good at...
Short Stories and better at Poetry
Favorite Genres
All
Public Reviews
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676
Review of The Courier  
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)
LOL - shades of Kenau Reeves. A wonderful tale - I love the persona angle. This would make a terrific story told in chapters, not words! Brilliant, as ususal - but I'll give you a run for your money tonight *Pthb*

Ken
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677
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Very nice ... a wonderful capture of summer and youth in only 17 syllables! My only critique would be that the kireiji or cutting word (that commonly leads to the "aha" moment) could have been stronger, showing us something we didn't see. Typically, it suggests a parallel between the preceding and following phrases, or provides a dignified ending, concluding the verse with a heightened sense of closure. Of course, what do I know? Only that I really enjoyed this.

Well done!

Ken
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678
Review of Ancient Enemies  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Very cleverly done - and with rhyme, no less *Laugh* The "hidden" message is very well incorporated into the acrostic and, if you hadn't pointed it out, I'm not sure that I would have picked up on Hyena vs Lions. That's a credit to your skill!

Very enjoyable and appreciated!

Ken

(PS - returning the GPs - I read and review for my pleasure so no additional incentives are required *Smile*)
679
679
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Laugh* You've been reading my memoirs again! No fair. A wonderful slice of life and the warm humor that fills each day. Excellent tale, well told!

Ken
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Review of A Moment of Youth  
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Have you been peeking at me again? *Laugh* A delightful tale of the simple things in life that make it worthwhile.
Thanks for the smile this evening!

Ken
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Review of Summer Joy  
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Very nice, Jeff... a wonderful capture of summer and youth in only 17 syllables! My only critique would be that the kireiji or cutting word (commonly called the "aha" moment) could have been stronger, showing us something we didn't see. Typically, it suggests a parallel between the preceding and following phrases, or provides a dignified ending, concluding the verse with a heightened sense of closure. Of course, what do I know? *Laugh* Only that I really enjoyed this.

Well done!

Ken
682
682
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A bit of wry humor and a nice step out of the ordinary given the prompts *Smile* As always, your abilities to conjusre up a plausilbe tale have been confirmed *Laugh* Well done, sir ... well done.

Ken
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683
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi chatabit

Thank you for the review of my related article - "You Never Hear The Bullet ..." My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Who are you kidding?"  [E].

*NoteB* First Impression/Thoughts:
You're obviously someone who cares about the damage we've done - and continue to do - to our world. I think you make some very good points in this open letter format.

*NoteO* Creativity/Impact:
Now what can be more creative than your feelings? They're unique to you *Smile* That said, I wish you had gone a step further and offered your musings about solutions as well.

*NoteG* Content:
You started strong, recalling the facts of the oil spill - well, what we know as of today, anyway. I like that you stretched it out pointing out that the real damage won't be known for some time. Along about the second paragraph, you lost me a bit when you brought in natural disasters such as earthquakes, floods, and tornadoes. I couldn't quite equate the two. I'm guessing you were really moving on to the "response to disaster" subject. I think your point about planning for emergencies such as the Valdez or the Deepwater Horizon are well made; I'm not sure that the same level of planning that should have been made is possible for natural disasters except in the broadest of terms. (By the way - who says that BP and other Gulf Coast oil companies didn't learn from the Valdez? Didn't you hear that their disaster plans for the Gulf called out protection of walruses? *Laugh*)

*NoteR* Technical Notes:
I realize that these were your thoughts but committing them to writing (which implies sharing them with a general readership) allows you an opportunity to organize them. I saw three main themes here - the affect of disasters and poor planning, the failure of the government to take action, and a general distrust of those in charge. I really think that you could have addressed them more effectively for the reader if you had taken the time to address each and then close by showing the linkages.

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star* *Star* *Star* *Star* I applaud your strong feelings on the issues raised. Just don't forget that the general readership doesn't have access to all your feelings and other thoughts that you didn't say here so - in some sense - parts of this are taken out of context. Give yourself a little distance and come back to this - you'll read it with different eyes.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It’s offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback… nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken
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684
Review of Father's Day  
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Star* "Here's the pitch." CRAAACK! "It's a line drive!"
You've just been reviewed by ""Take Me Out to the Ballgame" Reviews"  for THE TALENT POND! *Star*


Hi Have a sunshiny day!

My name is Ken (as if you didn't know *Laugh* and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Father's Day"  [E].

*NoteB* First Impression/Thoughts:
How appropriate and timely! A well written and informative summary of how Father's Day came into being.

*NoteO* Creativity/Impact:
I think, as they say, "timing is everything!" You picked the perfect subject to do your non-fiction challenge on. I think you did a great job in bringing the key points home while keeping a interesting narrative going.

*NoteG* Content:
You tell of the founding of Father's Day, the loving and appreciative daughter who championed it and what led her to do so. It's amazing how ignorant many of us are about the celebrations we participate in. I really didn't have a good idea how this came about. You did a terrific job of providing all the key information for complete understanding.

*NoteR* Technical Notes:
I saw nothing to comment on. This was well structured and shows your attention to detail regardless of what you're writing. Well done! *Smile*

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star* *Star* *Star* *Star* *Star* Interesting, informative, and timely - who could ask for more? Thank you for sharing your talent and for enlightening me.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It’s offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback… nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken
** Image ID #1678525 Unavailable **
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685
Review of I wonder  
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Sandra aka Gingerlilypad

My name is Ken - welcome to WDC! It is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "I wonder"  [E].

*NoteB* First Impression/Thoughts:
A wistful reverie along the beach.

*NoteO* Creativity/Impact:
These are your impressions and feelings - how much more unique can a poem be? *Smile*

*NoteG* Content:
You write of a moment in time by the beach - and the feelings that the moment evokes in you. You draw nice images that a reader can easily identify with - the warm, wet sand, the seabirds, the shells, the feelings of belonging. There were no "ah-ha" moments - nor do there need to be - just the pleasure of the moment.

*NoteR* Technical Notes:
I think the first thing I noticed was the uneven meter (think syllables per line) which broke up the gentle feel of this with a roughness in reading. For example, in stanza 3 you write:

I reach my hand down for a shell, 8 beats
It’s full of sand and shaped like a bell. 10 beats

If you left out the "and" in the second line and replaced it with a comma, see how much smoother the lines read. A trick I use is to read it out loud - small breaks in rhythm are better detected with the ear. I liked the internal rhyme of these lines (hand/sand - shell/bell) which really help the flow when reading.

Other than that, I saw no errors or other changes I can recommend. Very nicely done.

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star* *Star* *Star* *Star* A nice, gentle poem that captures you feelings of the moment. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today. I look forward to reading more.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It’s offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback… nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken
** Image ID #1678525 Unavailable **
** Image ID #1583244 Unavailable **

686
686
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Cleverly written and I love the juxtaposition of backwoods and high brow. What a fun read. Personally, I think this should have won over mine but, as you so pointedly say - “Buck up. You’ll get ‘em next time around. " *Laugh*

Ken
687
687
Review of Free Agency  
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Ohhhhh I like this one. Very nicely handled and you know I'm a fan of the underdog - especially when he looses *Laugh*

Really creative and fun!

Ken
688
688
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Love it - a true "ghost town" story ... Nicely told with just enough of the macabre to keep it interesting and add your unique twist to the tale. Well done.

Ken
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689
Review of A Mother's Wrath  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Well done, as usual - always a great read and always a twist (although this was more of slow curve LOL)

Thanks for sharing, my friend... I may just have to give you a run for your money soon *Smile*

Ken
690
690
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Really nice acrostic! Cohesive and well told tale, you brought the hidden tale of the image to life with nicely flowing prose. I love the "Nocturnal Gazer" - great imagery! I appreciate the ending as well - what fools us mortals be LOL - You kept the "poetic" feel to this even as your story unfolded. Even lines (for the most part *Smile* LOL) made the acrostic feel natural, not forced.

Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today!

Ken *Smile*
691
691
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Really nice acrostic! Cohesive and well told tale, you brought the hidden tale of the image to life with nicely flowing prose and even managed to create a rhyme within it! I appreciate the extra effort it took - You kept the "poetic" feel to this even as your story unfolded. Even lines (for the most part *Smile* - Reality or Insanity? LOL) made the acrostic feel natural, not forced.

Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today!

Ken *Smile*

PS Returning your GPs - since I'm judging wouldn't want anyone to think you influenced me *Laugh*
692
692
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi Raphael -

Very nice acrostic! The story line felt a bit undefined - and I think this was due in part to the uneven lines and centering of the poem. An acrostic works best left aligned so you can follow the "title". I also noticed that you left out the "O" (couldn't as opposed to could not). I think you have nice skills, however, and I did enjoy the read.

Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today!

Ken *Smile*
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Review of The Secret Tome  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Excellent acrostic! Cohesive and well told tale, you brought the hidden tale of the image to life with nicely flowing prose. You kept the "poetic" feel to this even as your story unfolded. One suggestion: Making the lines more even help the acrostic feel natural, not forced.

Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today!

Ken *Smile*
694
694
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Nicely done - a story and an acrostic all in one *Smile*. I enjoyed the read. My suggestions would be to try and even the lines out a bit. When you have such long and short lines intermixed, it detracts from the ability to read and follow. In your second stanza, you doubled the word "night" - as in night night.

Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today. I look forward to reading more of your works...

Ken *Smile*
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Review of Seeds of Wisdom  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hiya SWP...

An excellent interpretation of the prompt... I really love the image of the eagle disbursing the seeds of wisdom on the wings of wind. It was a very emotional feeling. I do wish you had taken it one more stanza. Perhaps it was only my own reaction but it felt like there was more to be said and this was really the conclusion.

Regardless, I found this very enjoyable to read. Thank you for sharing your vision with me.

Ken
696
696
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Brilliant *Laugh* Never saw it coming until you put last piece of the puzzle into place and then picture became clear. I do so enjoy your imaginative writes! Ahhh to be young with my imagination in tact LOL... but thanks for letting me hitchhike on your fertile mind tonight.

Excellent!

Ken
697
697
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi B. Scholl...

A very clever write - one that many will find humorous and bit confusing *Laugh* I'm slow - it took a few sentences to realize that the words were talking to the author. The single quotation marks worked well to define the speaker negating the need for the curly parentheses. I know - they were meant to be asides but really, with all the punctuation I think they confused the issue a bit.

I will admit - I'm not a big fan of using emoticons in stories but it seemed to work here. Unfortunately, the limited amount you have to work with on the site means that many key words were left naked *Laugh* and I'm not sure they added that much to this imaginative tale.

Thank you for sharing this humorous insight into a writers mind with me...

Ken
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698
Review of Robbie  
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hiya CB...

What a terrific and touching story... You've given a voice to a lot of kids, I'm afraid. I like the feel of your writing - the flow was very natural and you managed in such a short space to give us a setting and set up the situation. Your transition from lying on the roof and imaging a happier world to regrets over reality was very smooth and kept me engrossed the entire time.

Thank you for sharing your talent and imagination with me today...

Ken *Smile*
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699
Review of James  
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Tariq...

Welcome to WDC (again *Laugh*). With only 300 words to work with, you have to really drive the point home quickly - and I think you did really well. You set up the conflict, you gave us the protaginists, you laid out the scene... all well done.

A few minor comments - I assume you wrote this in another program and pasted it in here. Honestly, indenting first lines works well in letters - not in stories. As you convert from a word progam to HTML (which this site is in) spacing goes a bit crazy and since you were inconsistent in indenting (only 4, 5, 6, and 9 *Smile*) it gives the story a ragged look which distracts from the flow.

A second comment - you wrote this in first person, narrative. I like that point of view - it allows you to get into the head of the central character - but it's also the most difficult to read especially in a short, short story.

Overall, I think you have talent and I hope you keep stretching your writing muscles. I'd love see where you go. Thank you for sharing your "virgin" entry and imagination with me today.

Keep writing!

Ken
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Review of Hard Drive Veto  
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Another star in the galaxy of your short writes... I suspect that you swooped up gold dust with this one *Laugh*

I love the characterization of the Robot - so much for the Asimov's three laws. A really good read and a wonderfully twisted ending.

All I can say is "no sweat!" *Laugh*
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