~WhoMe???~'s (whome) Reviews

~WhoMe???~

Review Requests: OFF

4,509 Public Reviews Given

4,699 Total Reviews Given

851

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3291380

Review of SOMEONE WHO CARES

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: ASR

| (5.0)

♥♥♥♥♥ A ,Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum "

[E]♥♥♥♥♥

(hover your mouse over the intro to view the details)

Intro

{item:}

COUNTRYMOM-JUST REMEMBER ME

Title:
Written for a contest prompt, you have taken the prompt itself and build the poem around it. Never once is the title used in the poem. It is demonstrated in the actions of the poem however, and is a brilliant use of the prompt.

Format:
Five verses of rhyming couplets which tumble down the page with great emotion.

Rhythm/Rhyme:
The rhythm and rhyme were of ease for the reader as each pair of couplets were such that the two belonged together, making it easy to find a rhythm for reading, as well as flowing off of the tongue in an eloquence for royalty.

Overall Impression:
Overall I felt this was a well written piece. The spiritual message was one that warmed the soul and touched the hearts.
lonewolfmcq

852

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3288891

Review of Jake and Bagheera

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: ASR

| (5.0)

♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum "

[E]♥♥♥♥♥

(hover your mouse over the intro to view the details)

Intro

"Jake and Bagheera"

Diane

TITLE:
The title is in reference to the two main characters. Kept simple this is a nice lure for readers. The title grabs the attention.

CHARACTERS:
There are two main characters here, one Bagheera a cat, the other Jake, a guide dog. Both are very special animals in Sheila's life. Bagheera has been with Sheila for many years. When Jake is incorporated into the family, new adventures begin.

OPENING SENTENCE:
An interesting first sentence, not boring, or dry, and leads into the story quite well.

CLOSING SENTENCE:
The closing sentence wrapped up the story quite well. It gave a finality to this short segement. It also leaves room for future short stories to be shared. Very clever.

SUGGESTIONS:
It went off without a hitch became part of their Monday afternoon routine. There is a small glitch in the sentence, and there are several ways to fix this. One suggestion would beIt went off without a hitch, becoming part of their Monday afternoon routine.

OVERALL IMPRESSION:
A wonderful story, this was a joy to read. A great animal lover story as well.

lonewolfmcq

853

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3288249

Review of The Worst Valentines Poem EVER!!!

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (1.0)

♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum "

[E]♥♥♥♥♥

(hover your mouse over the intro to view the details)

Intro

"The Worst Valentines Poem EVER!!!"

Ravenwand, Rising Star!

TITLE:
Written for an acrostic poem contest, this title, and subtext, both set clear exactly what this contest is about, which is to create the worst acrostic for this Valentine's Day celebration.

FORMAT/STYLE:
Written as an acrostic with a bit of rhyming included, this acrostic follows the specified pattern yet is not complimentary to the subject matter, though, this is not a prerequisit.

RHYTHM/RHYME:
The rhythm and rhyme are distinguished and controlled by the punctuation and the visuals being created.

SUGGESTIONS:
There is a broken link in your disgusted emoticon.

POINTS TO PONDER:
Now that the contest is over and the link is now invalid, I would suggest going back and entering just the title of the contest, and not the link, since it no longer works.

OVERALL IMPRESSION:
I like how the $ is used as a metaphor for the consumerism the holiday is now known for.

I thought the the farm was used only because it was an easy rhyme, and that another well placed rhyme would have made better sense, but then again the object was to do your worst.

The ending line was my utmost favorite.
Rated per request and in reference to the contest.
lonewolfmcq

854

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3288236

Review of Damaged Goods

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.5)

♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum "

[E]♥♥♥♥♥

(hover your mouse over the intro to view the details)

Intro

Image #1629009 over display limit. -?-

"Damaged Goods"

17cherry

TITLE:
A title full of emotion and strength as it sums up the metaphor of the for this great poem.

FORMAT/STYLE:
A free-style poem written in four verses. Each verse reads as a run-on sentence.

RHTYM/RHYME:
With no set rhyme, the rhythm and rhyme is set by the punctuation or lack there-of in a poem.

SUGGESTIONS:
~Some will tell you that punctuation is needed in poetry. Others will argue that it is not needed and makes no difference. Still, there will be those who say it is up to the particular poet and the poem itself. Personally I feel that the way the verses flow down the page, that punctuation is necessary for this piece. Though without it, the message is still there, it just isn't as strong.

For me, I use to write poetry without any punctuation. Somewhere down the line someone gave me sound advice and it made sense to me. The punctuation, or lack thereof in a poem, is the direction of the writer, guiding the reader. The punctuation is where the author wishes the reader to take a breath; to contemplate; to pause for dramatic effect. The lack of punctuation says the same thing, "Read in one breath, whether slow, or fast, down the page". To me, punctuation is direction from the author to the reader. Use it, or don't , to your heart's desire and don't let anyone persuade you otherwise. However, if using it, be consistent throughout the piece. My personal opinion, this poem would benefit from punctuation.

POINTS TO PONDER:
Sometimes something as simple as where an item is placed upon the page can help to determine how it is interpretated. Poetry is up to the interpretation of the reader. What a poet writes, and the message a reader gets isn't always the same, especialy when using metaphors. That being said, aligning a poem to the left of a page implies unification; all is right in the world. Centering an item so that all of the lines are askew, based upon character count, can have the meaning of chaos and turmoil in life or emotion. With the consistent rhyming pattern, I felt that the emotional aspect of this poem deserved centered spacing as to show the various emotions and pull of the poem. Though keep in mind, this is just my personal opinion, I am but a novice when it comes to poetry and its teachings.

OVERALL IMPRESSION:
With a metaphorical twist this emotional poem uses objects which can be related to the emotions of the poem on a private level, yet also one that others too can relate to. A very clever twist.

Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-

855

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3288219

Review of Why I'm Fyndorian

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You In Connection With "Showering Acts of Joy Garden"

[E] ♥♥♥♥♥

"Why I'm Fyndorian"

fyn

Brief Summary:

How did you choose your handle name? This is Fyn's reasoning for choosing this special handle. The details are interesting and the story behind the name hold a special memory as well.

Suggestions:

In the last sentence of the second paragraph, one word throws off the gramatical cohesion of the sentence. Instead of it, at is used instead. This needs to be reversed.

What I liked about this piece:

This was a very personable piece. It gives history and is a creative process for coming up with this name. It has historic markings, and is a great namesake.

Areas that I had trouble with:

NONE really. It would have been nice to have the contest listed that this was created for, but then again this might not have been created for the particular contest I was thinking of. The problem with linking contests, is that usually at some point in time the contests close and then the link becomes invalid.

Overall
Overall this is a great piece. I liked the background, am impressed with the historical significance, and am glad you shared this impressive story.

~

~Thank you for sharing your creative writing skills

Image #1614325 over display limit. -?-

856

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3287611

Review of Master

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.5)

♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum "

[E]♥♥♥♥♥

(hover your mouse over the intro to view the details)

Intro

Image #1629009 over display limit. -?-

"Master"

April Desiree-I'm back!

First Impression:
I felt this may have been a poem about a marriage or proposal that resulted in a broken heart.

Form/Style:
To begin with the first two verses are in an alternate rhyming couplet, followed quickly with a summary of a couplet.

Rhythm/Rhyme:
The rhythm is dictated by the voice, due to the lack of punctuation. The distinct rhythm lies with the reader for this poem.

The rhyming is right on target. Each rhyme fell gently off the lips and was a great match with its partner.

Subject/Content:
The subject of love and emotions combined with metaphorical physical reactions due to getting burned by love.

Suggestions:
~Some will tell you that punctuation is needed in poetry. Others will argue that it is not needed and makes no difference. Still, there will be those who say it is up to the particular poet and the poem itself. Personally I feel that the way the verses flow down the page, that punctuation is necessary for this piece. Though without it, the message is still there, it just isn't as strong.

For me, I use to write poetry without any punctuation. Somewhere down the line someone gave me sound advice and it made sense to me. The punctuation, or lack thereof in a poem, is the direction of the writer, guiding the reader. The punctuation is where the author wishes the reader to take a breath; to contemplate; to pause for dramatic effect. The lack of punctuation says the same thing, "Read in one breath, whether slow, or fast, down the page". To me, punctuation is direction from the author to the reader. Use it, or don't , to your heart's desire and don't let anyone persuade you otherwise. However, if using it, be consistent throughout the piece. My personal opinion, this poem would benefit from punctuation.

Points to Ponder:
Sometimes something as simple as where an item is placed upon the page can help to determine how it is interpretated. Poetry is up to the interpretation of the reader. What a poet writes, and the message a reader gets isn't always the same, especialy when using metaphors. That being said, aligning a poem to the left of a page implies unification; all is right in the world. Centering an item so that all of the lines are askew, based upon character count, can have the meaning of chaos and turmoil in life or emotion. With the consistent rhyming pattern, I felt that the emotional aspect of this poem deserved centered spacing as to show the various emotions and pull of the poem. Though keep in mind, this is just my personal opinion, I am but a novice when it comes to poetry and its teachings.

Overall:
I felt this was well written. The subject of each line stuck with the theme of the poem. Each rhyme was a compliment to its partner and the poem made comprehensive sense. I found it easy to read. It is a poem that many can relate to. A great poem.

Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-

857

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3284640

Review of The pain within

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.5)

♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum "

[E]♥♥♥♥♥

(hover your mouse over the intro to view the details)

Intro

Image #1629009 over display limit. -?-

"The pain within"

jaya

TITLE:
The title portrays that the poem is going to be about an inner conflict of pain and suffering. It well illustrates the poem and lures the reader in out of curiousity. The reader is drawn by emotion.

FORMAT/STYLE:
Aligned to the left and written in free-style formatting. The three verses are dealing with emotins and I feel that a different viewable format would better suit this piece, as listed below.

RHYTHM/RHYME:
The rhythm and rhyme are represented by the punctuation. Without an actual rhyme, the punctuation serves to dictate the cadence or rhythm of which the reader will use to determine, speed and pause for reading.

POINTS TO PONDER:
~The capitalization is not consistent in the first verse. In all others capitalization follows punctuation, yet in the first verse, there is capitalization despite what the punctuation is or isn't. Consistency is the key to success.

~Often to help illustrate turmoil or chaos, the way a poem is printed on the page can often reflect the emotion. Aligned to the right can be a consistent flow. It can be that the emotions are calm, or on an even plain. However, it you center align the poem, so that each line is based on character count, and may be askew from the previous and next line, then that can represent turmoil and conflict of emotion. It is a visual ploy that is often used. It helps to evoke emotional pull to the poem.

Overall a well written poem. The inner pain and suffering are well depicted in this piece. Written for a contest prompt, I hope this places well.
Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-

858

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3284618

Review of Solitude

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with Native First Peoples Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum "

[E]♥♥♥♥♥

(hover your mouse over the intro to view the details)

Intro

Image #1629009 over display limit. -?-

"Solitude"

Jaye P. Marshall

Title:
One word to sum it up, one to lure them in, this is a great title that really captures the essence of what this short story is all about.

Character:
The main character is never given a name other than she or mom. This is very suiting. The story isn't so much about her as it is about coping with change and the emotions that are experienced. Her character developement is one of a caring and loving mother. This shows all the way through the story, down to the very last line.

Summary: A mother finally finds some free time to herself when her two boys are at their dads for the first time since the divorce. Staying for a lenghty ten weeks, the mother must face the changes that come with the solitude of an empty house.

This was a well written story. The grammar, spelling and punctuation were all in order. The developement of the story flowed rather well. I found myself getting caught up in the tension as she awaited for the boys to leave the plane. An excellent read.

Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-

859

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3284440

Review of An Invention Extension, Prevention

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: ASR

| (4.5)

♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum "

[E]♥♥♥♥♥

(hover your mouse over the intro to view the details)

Intro

Image #1629009 over display limit. -?-

"An Invention Extension, Prevention"

Ԝ€ß☆ԜiʈCH

Title:
The title of this short poem is catchy and fun. The musical way it glides off the tongue is a great lure to capture the reader's attention.

Format/Style:
An alternate rhyme free-style poem created for a contest prompt.

Rhythm/Rhyme:
With each coupled rhyming pattern, there were no forced rhymes. Everything fit well together and it was an easy trnasition from one line to another.

Points to Ponder:
~Some will tell you that punctuation is needed in poetry. Others will argue that it is not needed and makes no difference. Still, there will be those who say it is up to the particular poet and the poem itself. Personally I feel that the way the verses flow down the page, that punctuation is necessary for this piece. Though without it, the message is still there, it just isn't as strong.

For me, I use to write poetry without any punctuation. Somewhere down the line someone gave me sound advice and it made sense to me. The punctuation, or lack thereof in a poem, is the direction of the writer, guiding the reader. The punctuation is where the author wishes the reader to take a breath; to contemplate; to pause for dramatic effect. The lack of punctuation says the same thing, "Read in one breath, whether slow, or fast, down the page". To me, punctuation is direction from the author to the reader. Use it, or don't , to your heart's desire and don't let anyone persuade you otherwise. However, if using it, be consistent throughout the piece. My personal opinion, this poem would benefit from punctuation.

~In addition, there is too much added space in the poem. The verses and the individual lines are barely indistinguishable. I would suggest taking the extra space out of the individual lines, and only leave it between each verse. This will take away from the distracting extra spaces.

Overall I felt this was a well written poem. The use of color was an added bonus. The lines needed tightening, other than that everything flowed smoothly.
Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-

860

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3284325

Review of The Light That Leads Us Through

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.0)

♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum "

[E]♥♥♥♥♥

(hover your mouse over the intro to view the details)

Intro

Image #1629009 over display limit. -?-

"The Light That Leads Us Through"

julielubrani
Title:
This is a strong title that well represents and sums up the poem.

Format/Style:
Written using rhyming couplets, this free-style poem flows well, though it is hard to see due to spacing and lack of punctuation.

Rhythm/Rhyme:
There is a distinct rhyming scheme hidden within the lines of this free-style poem.

Points to Ponder:
~Some will tell you that punctuation is needed in poetry. Others will argue that it is not needed and makes no difference. Still, there will be those who say it is up to the particular poet and the poem itself. Personally I feel that the way the verses flow down the page, that punctuation is necessary for this piece. Though without it, the message is still there, it just isn't as strong.

For me, I use to write poetry without any punctuation. Somewhere down the line someone gave me sound advice and it made sense to me. The punctuation, or lack thereof in a poem, is the direction of the writer, guiding the reader. The punctuation is where the author wishes the reader to take a breath; to contemplate; to pause for dramatic effect. The lack of punctuation says the same thing, "Read in one breath, whether slow, or fast, down the page". To me, punctuation is direction from the author to the reader. Use it, or don't , to your heart's desire and don't let anyone persuade you otherwise. However, if using it, be consistent throughout the piece. My personal opinion, this poem would benefit from punctuation.

~In addition, there is too much added space in the poem. The verses and the individual lines are indistinguishable. I would suggest taking the extra space out of the individual verses, and only leave it between each verse. This will take away from the distracting extra spaces.

A well written piece despite the few points to ponder.

Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-

861

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3284299

Review of REACHING FOR THE BLUEST SKY

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum "

[E]♥♥♥♥♥

(hover your mouse over the intro to view the details)

Intro

Image #1629009 over display limit. -?-

"REACHING FOR THE BLUEST SKY"

COUNTRYMOM-JUST REMEMBER ME

Title:
The title is one that well represents the poem. It contains the essence of the poem without giving any information away. It sums up the poem and lures the reader in with tantalizing descriptives.

Format/Style:
Created with rhyming couplets, these five verses are aligned to the left bringing with it the hint of an organized world where a higher power is at work.

Rhythm/Rhyme:
With great rhythm and flow, the rhymes drift off the breeze and the clouds as they cascade down the page.

The punctuation helps to set the rhythm of the poem with clarity.

Imagery:
I picture a serene setting and a relaxing atmospere which leads to an epiphany of discovery.

Suggestions:
There was one rhyming couple that was a bit forced, breezeto leave . This rhyme didn't work for me at all.

Overall this is a well written poem. I enjoyed the read several times as well as the serenity I experienced while reading it. Thank you for sharing this greatness.
Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-

862

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3284022

Review of Thank You, Givers.

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.5)

♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum "

[E]♥♥♥♥♥

(hover your mouse over the intro to view the details)

Intro

Image #1629009 over display limit. -?-

"Thank You, Givers."

Draco, The Dragon

Title:
A declaration all of its own merit, the title is the subject of the poem, yet is strong enough on its own as well.

Format/Style:
Written in an alternate rhyming free-style piece, the three verses are of thanks.

Points To Ponder:
~Some will tell you that punctuation is needed in poetry. Others will argue that it is not needed and makes no difference. Still, there will be those who say it is up to the particular poet and the poem itself. Personally I feel that the way the verses flow down the page, that punctuation is necessary for this piece. Though without it, the message is still there, it just isn't as strong.

For me, I use to write poetry without any punctuation. Somewhere down the line someone gave me sound advice and it made sense to me. The punctuation, or lack thereof in a poem, is the direction of the writer, guiding the reader. The punctuation is where the author wishes the reader to take a breath; to contemplate; to pause for dramatic effect. The lack of punctuation says the same thing, "Read in one breath, whether slow, or fast, down the page". To me, punctuation is direction from the author to the reader. Use it, or don't , to your heart's desire and don't let anyone persuade you otherwise. However, if using it, be consistent throughout the piece. My personal opinion, this poem would benefit from punctuation.

Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-

863

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3283984

Review of IT'S TIME FOR SPRING!

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.5)

♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum "

[E]♥♥♥♥♥

(hover your mouse over the intro to view the details)

Intro

Image #1629009 over display limit. -?-

"IT'S TIME FOR SPRING!"

COUNTRYMOM-JUST REMEMBER ME

Title:
A strong title which gives us the object and subject of the poem. It illustrates what is to come and does a great job of luring the reader in.

Format/Style:
This was written in rhyming couplets. It is centered, though for some reason I found this distracting. For this poem, I felt being aligned to the left would better suit the piece. Perhaps it was because couplets, to me, seem more uniform, and having the verse offset due to each line centered seemed to add chaos and confusion to the poem, where otherwise, none would exist.

Rhythm/Rhyme:
The rhythm and rhyme of each couplet was precise and very smooth. The rhymes flowed well together, with no forcing needed. I found this refreshing as the breath of spring itself.

Voice:
The voice of the poem is in first person. I found that fitting for this poem. It gave great descriptives and painted a clear picture for this wonderful season.

Points to Ponder:
In verse two, I thought that the sky is pretty should have read sky so pretty.

Overall this is a great poem. The picture was an added bonus to the well illustrated Spring welcoming. I hope this does well in the contest. It was a pleasure to once again drop in on you.

Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-

864

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3283969

Review of The Rose

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...

Rated: E

| (4.5)

♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum "

[E]♥♥♥♥♥

(hover your mouse over the intro to view the details)

Intro

Image #1629009 over display limit. -?-

"The Rose"

ongaku no tenshi

Title:
The title in conjunction with the subtext are alluring and intriguing. They, together, capture the attention and lure the reader to the poem.

Format/Style:
The format chosen is of alternate rhyming couplets. Each verse has great rhythm and rhyme.

Rhyme/Rhythm:
There is not only a great rhyming pattern, but a wonderful rhythm as represented in the syllable count of each line.
8/6/8/6
8/6/8/6
7/6/8/7
8/6/8/6
With the exception of verse three, each one flows well and the rhythm is to a marching beat.

Imagery:
With the imagery created, a tapestry is woven of two contrasting roses, one in her prime as a queen, another as a withered shadow of her former self.

Voice:
I felt as if I was sitting listening to a bard sing us a rhyming tale of a fallen queen. This was great personification of a rose.

Overall I felt this was well written. The only inconsistency I found, was with the syllable count for verse three. Other than that, I felt that the poem was very detailed and created a great tale of enchantment.
Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-

865

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3283967

Review of A Simple Knot

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...

Rated: E

| (5.0)

♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum "

[E]♥♥♥♥♥
** Image ID #1572996 Unavailable **

(hover your mouse over the intro to view the details)

Intro

"A Simple Knot"

submariner

Title:
The title grabs your attention. It is simple, no pun intended. It sums up the poem quite well, and yet gives nothing away.

Format/Style:
Using an alternate rhyming scheme for the format of choice I feel is the best way to portray this emotion. It isn't cryptic, yet it leads up to a crecendo with tidbits of information.

Rhythm/Rhyme:
The rhythn and rhyme are well represented within the poem. Each rhyming couple is an ease of flow with nothing forced. The punctuation helps to dictate the cadence or rhythm, and together they flow smoothly down the page.

Metaphor:
Using the metaphor of a knot in conjunction with describing the union of two souls was a brilliant image. I found this to be very creative and fitting.

Voice:
The voice of the poem is filled with love and adoration for the partner of which joins in this union. Together they form a whole. In using the metaphor of the knot, the symbolism that sometimes there will be rough patches, yet still they will remain together, bound strong, was a great indicator of the depth of emotional ties that bind this couple together.

Overall I felt this was a well written poem. The grammar, spelling, punctuation and rhyming patterns were all in order and flowed smoothly together to create this great masterpiece. I would consider printing this off on nice paper, perhaps one with a soft background of a rope shaped into the form of a knot, framing it, and giving this to your spouse.
Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-

866

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3283965

Review of Good Night My Ladybug

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...

Rated: E

| (4.5)

♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum "

[E]♥♥♥♥♥

(hover your mouse over the intro to view the details)

Intro

Image #1629009 over display limit. -?-

"Good Night My Ladybug"

submariner

Title:
The title represents the poem well. It is a final salutation to the subject of the poem and well illustrates the poems message.

Form/Style:
Written in an alternate rhyming format, this fun little piece is easy to follow.

The style is that of a nursery rhyme at bedtime.

Imagery:
The love and depth of emotion flow smoothly as each line cascades down the page. The adoration for such bug is represented in each line through the great descriptives that are used.

Rhyme/Rhythm:
The rhyming and rhythm ring true as the punctuation guides the voice of the poem. Each rhyme feels as if it were made for this poem, without anything forced to fit a rhyming scheme.

Suggestions:
Line five is confusing. Is there more than one girl? I believe that a small typo is holding up the process which allows this to be a completed and excellent poem.
girls awaits I feel, should be girl awaits

Overall this was a fun filled bedtime rhyme. The emotion and rhyme ring true through each line as they sprinkle sanddust in the eyes of the sleepy child.

Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-

867

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3283961

Review of Low Times After High Tide

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...

Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum "

[E]♥♥♥♥♥

(hover your mouse over the intro to view the details)

Intro

Image #1629009 over display limit. -?-

"Low Times After High Tide"

raedwulf

Title:
The title represents, what caused the destruction. It is the cause and the poem is the effect. I found this to be a catchy title and a refreshing look at naming a poem.

Form/Style:
The format used is an alternate rhyming pattern. It flows well and was easy to read and follow.

Imagery:
The brevity of the poem shows just a bit of catastrophic turmoil. I felt that more in-depth imagery could be used to portray the destruction, giving greter importance to the ending summation of the poem.

Grammar:
The poem goes back and forth in time. It begins in line one with past tense, then comes to the present in line two. Back to past with line three, present in line four. Consistency would have been better. Here is just one sample of changes to keep the poem in the same time frame:

where the land was once green
water washed it away.
Where people once lived
floodwaters kept them away.

Rhyme:
The rhyme scheme is one that is easy to follow. The rhymes are consistent with each other and well illustrate the poem without being forced.

Voice:
Although this was short, there was plenty to illustrate the damage floodwaters can have. This doesn't quite go into the emotional ramifications, but centers on the physical chaos natural disasters create.

Suggestion:
~Toward the ending, there are two lines ending in the word this. I would suggest altering one of them.

~This may sound odd, but I felt this would be better suited if it were to be centered on the page. With each line centered, every line would be askew, better representing the chaos the water delivers. If you look at this poem aligned to the left verses the poem centered vs. aligned:

Where the land was once green
water washes it all away.
Where people once lived
floodwaters keep them at bay.
Images of people, crowded places
and the neighbor lady’s cat.
Somebody said, “Looks just
like a mirror lying flat.”
Nobody wants to see this.
It’s not that they don’t care.
Devastation like this
just has a certain air.

Where the land was once green
water washes it all away.
Where people once lived
floodwaters keep them at bay.
Images of people, crowded places
and the neighbor lady’s cat.
Somebody said, “Looks just
like a mirror lying flat.”
Nobody wants to see this.
It’s not that they don’t care.
Devastation like this
just has a certain air.

~ One other thought, and this is just something to ponder. A second verse could be created simply by adding space after flat.

Where the land was once green
water washes it all away.
Where people once lived
floodwaters keep them at bay.
Images of people, crowded places
and the neighbor lady’s cat.
Somebody said, “Looks just
like a mirror lying flat.”

Nobody wants to see this.
It’s not that they don’t care.
Devastation like this
just has a certain air.

In so doing this, it lengthens, or gives the illusion of more destruction as wrought by the water.

Overall I felt this is a good poem. A few areas were a little soft, as mentioned above, and could use a little tweaking, but that is just my opinion. Remember, poetry is to interpretation.
Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-

868

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3283820

Review of A Book

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum "

[E]♥♥♥♥♥

(hover your mouse over the intro to view the details)

Intro

Image #1629009 over display limit. -?-

"A Book"

AngelVixxen: TY ANON!

Title:
The title is the subject of the poem. It sums it all up and places the emphasis on the object of the poem.

Form/Style:
An alternate rhyming scheme which flows well and smooth. The format is an easy one to follow. The three verses all keep to the subject and are in unison with the object of the poem.

Flow/Rhythm/Rhyme:
The rhythm and rhyme flow well as dictated by the punctuation. The voice is in cadence as the rhythmatic rhymes are easy on the ear.

Imagery:
Being a book lover myself, I found this a great ode to the book itslef. The love for reading is clearly dictated in this poem. A great tribute.

:
Overall this is a great poem. I could find nothing to add to as far as punctuation, grammar, or spelling. The rhyming words all flow well, the cadence of each verse is in unison and the poems subject is well defined.
Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-

869

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3283811

Review of Blaring Silence

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: ASR

| (5.0)

♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum "

[E]♥♥♥♥♥

(hover your mouse over the intro to view the details)

Intro

Image #1629009 over display limit. -?-

"Blaring Silence"

theatregirl

Title:
The title represents a noise so loud that it is deafening, and that noise is silence. Have you ever heard a sound so quiet that it was loud, almost a roar of impeding danger to come? The title is a foreshadow of what lies withing the poem.

Form/Style:
A free-style poem written with great detail on subject. Four verses all describing what is loud, though none compare to the sound of Silence.

Imagery:
I have personally referenced the deafening roar of silence, only to be criticized by a few. I, however, have found a kindred spirit within this piece. To me, this is two people talking, a serious conversation, perhaps a bombshell just went off, then a question or comment is made, only to be followed by silence as the tunnel vision sets in,the darkness creeps in as the silence between the too bercomes so loud, immediate danger (or impeding decision) is about to be made. The fork in the road and the silence preceding the decision.
Excellent imagery.

Flow/Rhythm:
The rhythm is dictated by the final line of each verse. The declaration, that none is louder than the silence.

Tone:
To me this reads almost as a warning or lesson that that all may be loud, but there is something that is worse.

Overall I found this quite refreshening, in such a way that someone could see the silence for what it truly is.

Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-

870

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3283429

Review of Out

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.5)

♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum "

[E]♥♥♥♥♥

(hover your mouse over the intro to view the details)

Intro

Image #1629009 over display limit. -?-

"Out"

silverknight

Title:
To sum it up all in one word, this title says it all. This is a big lure to some readers. They want to know what this cryptic title is all about, thus the rush to read items with shorter mysterious titles.

Form/Style:
This is a free-tyle poem written as a rant or rave. (just my vision or perspective). Without the full punctuation, that is the only conclusion I have been able to surmise. I have experimented with several different voices for this poem. The slow drawn out voice as if reading prose or rhyming couplets, didn't do this justice. I found that reading it more as a rap or rant, a bit of anger and sarcasm in the voice, seemed to fit this just right.

Flow/Rhythm:
The rhythm is awkward to find without full use of punctuation. So to me it reads too fast in meter or flow.

Emotions:
Sarcasm mixed in with a bit of truth, this rant warns others away. This dark place isn't somewhere you want to be, so don't bother to come looking.

Suggestions:
~Some will tell you that punctuation is needed in poetry. Others will argue that it is not needed and makes no difference. Still, there will be those who say it is up to the particular poet and the poem itself. Personally I feel that the way the verses flow down the page, that punctuation is necessary for this piece. Though without it, the message is still there, it just isn't as strong. With some punctuation already inside the poem, consistency is recommended. For me, I use to write poetry without any punctuation. Somewhere down the line someone gave me sound advice and it made sense to me. The punctuation, or lack thereof in a poem, is the direction of the writer, guiding the reader. The punctuation is where the author wishes the reader to take a breath; to contemplate; to pause for dramatic effect. The lack of punctuation says the same thing, "Read in one breath, whether slow, or fast, down the page". To me, punctuation is direction from the author to the reader. Use it, or don't , to your heart's desire and don't let anyone persuade you otherwise. However, if using it, be consistent throughout the piece

Overall: Other than the lack of punctuation, I felt this was well written and a good piece to read.

Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-

871

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3281564

Review of Introduction

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.0)

♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum "

[E]♥♥♥♥♥

(hover your mouse over the intro to view the details)

Intro

Image #1629009 over display limit. -?-

"Introduction"

D. Van Hook

This is a mystical poem, full of illusion and elusiveness. Creatively written in a free-style form, this great poem is a mystery. What is the voice of the poem describing? Was this a picture prompt contest entry?

POINT TO PONDER:
Some will tell you that punctuation is needed in poetry. Others will argue that it is not needed and makes no difference. Still, there will be those who say it is up to the particular poet and the poem itself. Personally I feel that the way the verses flow down the page, that punctuation is necessary for this piece. Though without it, the message is still still there, it just isn't as strong .With some punctuation already inside the poem, consistency is recommended. For me, I use to write poetry without any punctuation. Somewhere down the line someone gave me sound advice and it made sense to me. The punctuation, or lack thereof in a poem, is the direction of the writer, guiding the reader. The punctuation is where the author wishes the reader to take a breath; to contemplate; to pause for dramatic effect. The lack of punctuation says the same thing, "Read in one breath, whether slow, or fast, down the page". To me, punctuation is direction from the author to the reader. Use it, or don't , to your heart's desire and don't let anyone persuade you otherwise. However, if using it, be consistent throughout the piece.

Overall this is well written. The grammar and spelling were in order. The lack of punctuation was a distraction, as was not being able to figure out the mystery of what the poem was describing.
Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-

872

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3281562

Review of Complicated

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...

Rated: E

| (4.5)

♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum "

[E]♥♥♥♥♥
** Image ID #1572996 Unavailable **

(hover your mouse over the intro to view the details)

Intro

"Complicated"

D. Van Hook

This is a well written poem. Formatted in rhyming couplets, this reads down the page as one verse, one profound statement, which questions our thoughts and decisions globally.

Entering into war is never an easy decision. Not being one to make that choice, who knows what issues are discussed and actions prepared for beforehand. That being said, much is left at home that needs attending in addition to protecting are position and aiding others globally. It is a very controversal subject of which I feel this poem questions quite well.

Some will tell you that punctuation is needed in poetry. Others will argue that it is not needed and makes no difference. Still, there will be those who say it is up to the particular poet and the poem itself. Personally I feel that the way the verses flow down the page, that punctuation is necessary for this piece. Though without it, the message is still still there, it just isn't as strong .With some punctuation already inside the poem, consistency is recommended. For me, I use to write poetry without any punctuation. Somewhere down the line someone gave me sound advice and it made sense to me. The punctuation, or lack thereof in a poem, is the direction of the writer, guiding the reader. The punctuation is where the author wishes the reader to take a breath; to contemplate; to pause for dramatic effect. The lack of punctuation says the same thing, "Read in one breath, whether slow, or fast, down the page". To me, punctuation is direction from the author to the reader. Use it, or don't , to your heart's desire and don't let anyone persuade you otherwise. However, if using it, be consistent throughout the piece. Reading this with just the few question marks as punctuation, one would read in one quick breath until reahing each question mark. I don't feel that serves this poem well or does it justice.

Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-

873

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3281549

Review of The Pirate's Love

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum "

[E]♥♥♥♥♥

(hover your mouse over the intro to view the details)

Intro

Image #1629009 over display limit. -?-

"The Pirate's Love"

Sena Slaughter

This is a wonderful poem. The rhythm and rhyme were great, the grammar, punctuation and spelling were on the mark. The only problem I had was that this great poem was hidden in a prose format. I took the liberty to alter the format to give you a glimpse at what it would look like in another form. The same words, just transferred into separate verses.

Out on the shore he looked away,
drawn by the oceans crashing waves;
out on the shore her heart it broke,
as she watched him stop to smoke.

They knew that ties of love would sever,
that he would go away forever;
ne’er to return to this shore,
ne’er to see her, his love, anymore.

And so the sloop the pirate boarded,
where all his treasure he had hoarded;
away he sailed to far new lands,
to take from others with his hands.

Though he seemed so heartless and cruel,
even he had loved a girl;
and on a shore so far away,
they hanged the pirate there today.

She heard the news,
her heart it wept,
and so she plunged into the depth;
her body found broken and maimed,
death the choice she had claimed.

Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-

874

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3281533

Review of Happy Birthday, Kiya!

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum "

[E]♥♥♥♥♥

(hover your mouse over the intro to view the details)

Intro

Image #1629009 over display limit. -?-

"Happy Birthday, Kiya!"

kiyasama
A poetic birthday wish sent to one who is loved and appreciated. The sentiments pour forth in a rhyming manner describing some of the attributes that many on this site have gotten to know you by.

Six verses that cascade down the page with reverence. You are looked to as a leader, a mentor and friend by many. Thank you
Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-

875

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3280989

Review of It's the Journey

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)

♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "SHERRI'S HAPPY HOLIDAY AUCTION CLOSED"

[E]♥♥♥♥♥

"It's the Journey"

ShelleyA~13 years at WDC

Concluding the three reviews for this package won, I stumbled upon this autobiographical piece. Something hard for me to do an indepth review upon, for it is written really well and comes from the heart. Therefore, this won't be so analytical, but more thoughts from my heart to yours.

I was moved to tears at some of the touching things you shared. I too have had similar situations and decisions to make, and reading your short piece here showed me a kindred soul.

For technical issues, there is the possibility that a comma is needed in the second paragraph toward the end, after the word another. Though I must tell you I am no expert in the field of punctuation. Other than that, the spelling , grammar, and punctuation all appear to be in order.

Being a second place winner in a contest, I felt a ribbon should adorn this great work, so this is the item I have chosen to decorate. I hope you are not disappointed with the reviews. Some things are hard to review, and others are easy. I can tell you I spent at least two hours doing these. I hope that is taken into consideration.

Hugs my friend

Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-