*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/whome/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/31
Review Requests: OFF
4,509 Public Reviews Given
4,699 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... 27 28 29 30 -31- 32 33 34 35 36 ... Next
751
751
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum [E]♥♥♥♥♥
kiyasama designs


(hover your mouse over the intro to view the details)

Intro





Mark Robson

*Sun*
Poetic and witty, filled also with charm.
I thought another drop by the port could do me no harm...

I was wrong!

I am still up!

*Star*
This is a short review since we both now know I am well past the need of being in bed. It is after 5am and I am again reviewing. This poem you first wrote is a hit. The rhythm is smooth, and the rhyming is great. Nothing is forced. For being a "Newbie" at the time, it doesn't show. Though maybe you touched it up, either way. This poem is publish worthy. I see no flaws with it.

I find this to be a toe tapping rhythmical piece. It has a pattern or beat that you can almost sing to.

*Moon*
Overall I could find no flaws with this poem. It was well written. The punctuation, grammar and spelling all appear to be in order. The content, rhythm and rhyme all fell into natural order as if meant to be. The author and artist of this picturesque tapestry painted artwork of original and unequal quality. BRAVO!

saph designed




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed.

lonewolfmcq
752
752
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum [E]♥♥♥♥♥
Purple background


(hover your mouse over the intro to view the details)

Intro





Mark Robson

*Sun*
It is always refreshing and inspiring to hear what a published author has to say about Self Publishing. Many writers give up before ever getting close to being published for the fear factor alone. Knowing that Self Publishing is gaining notoriety and is attainable sure helps to lift the spirits.

*Star*
I know I said I was heading to bed, but I decided to first search the name. Somehow I got the notion you were a published author, maybe I saw it in your port under your bio block, yes, I think that is where it was. I then searched your name on Google and then looked at the books on Amazon.

Now sufficiently curious as the cat, tired, and full of mischief, I came to see for myself what goodies I could find within your port. Low and behold, I found something that will haunt me. You will haunt me. I will haunt me. For here, I have found my spark again. The ignition once again lit, the genie out of her bottle I have seen the vision that must be fulfilled. That dream of the eighth grade little girl some twenty years ago can now come true, at least according to this writing of yours.

If I am reading this right, then it can be done, and I no longer can use the excuse that no big corporation will publish my book. According to this writing, I can now Self Publish. Now do not get me wrong, I am making no mockery of this, for this is a big deal to me. I know self publishing has been around for quite some time. I have seen them out there. I have read the advertisements. None however have taken the time to explain the process, or break it down in terms like this to my understanding of time, effort and money. This is the cold hard facts of the blood sweat and tears, and that is all after the writing, reviewing, editing , re-writing, setting, typesetting, layout, and so on are completed. This takes me beyond what I knew to the unknown, the part that was stopping me and allowing me to procrastinate in completing my book.

*Moon*
This wasn't written as a how to guide. This piece of writing was put together from various speeches and lectures, in order to help others. This piece of writing has helped to put the spark back into the goal, scratch that...the writing has helped to renew the spark of the dream and the desire to see it through. I am now in a place and time in my life to do just that.

Thank you my friend.

saph designed




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed.

lonewolfmcq
753
753
Review of Ring Master Guide  
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Invalid Item ♥♥♥♥♥
Purple background


(hover your mouse over the intro to view the details)

Intro





Revelry new writings soon

*Sun*
This is another short story I have reviewed in the past and am return to alter my review. I see changes have been made that null and void the review and rating I had in place for this story and am glad to be able to re-rate this for you.

*Star*
This is a well put together piece. I enjoyed the storyline and found this to be quite an interesting story.

*Moon*
I thought the illustrated sig at the ending was a great addition.

saph designed




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed.

lonewolfmcq
754
754
Review of Joker Reasoning  
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with {ritem:"Invalid Item"   by A Guest Visitor ♥♥♥♥♥
kiyasama designs


(hover your mouse over the intro to view the details)

Intro





Revelry new writings soon

*Sun*
This appears to be something you have somewhat of a passion for writing about, if even for a just this period of time. There seems to be heart behind this and it shows in the writing.

*Star*
Grammatically, there wasn't anything that stood out of which I found distracting. As far as punctuation, there was only one small piece where there was no space after a period and that was in the first paragraph, nothing to detract from the story though.

*Moon*
Overall this was well written. I like how this personifies the villain and gives him a newly viewed perception through others eyes. He has feelings. He has another life. He may not always have been the villain, and perhaps he has his own secrets he wishes to keep as well.

A well written short piece. I see it is part of a great work and must investigate the other pieces at a later date.

Image #1662838 over display limit. -?-




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed.

Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-
755
755
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Invalid Item ♥♥♥♥♥
kiyasama designs


(hover your mouse over the intro to view the details)

Intro





Revelry new writings soon

*Sun*
I once gave this a very very short review with a four and a half star rating. SHAME ON ME. The review was nothing but a few sentences asking if a new round was opening and about the rating, nothing more. For this, I do apologize. The only thing I can think of, since I did not look at the time I rated it, is perhaps it may have been when I was first learning to do reviews. Again, for this I do apologize.

*Star*
This is an on-going contest, well into round 23, which has attracted much attention. The prompts are varied and seem to keep the contestant participation active.

The rules are easily visible and are cleverly decorated giving this room a feeling of comfort and a place of interest. The musical notes enhance the theme of the contest. This, I do applaud, a very clever appendage.

The one distraction I did note was the now invalid link on what I must presume was the bitem linking format information. Here is one helpful link I was able to come up with "Invalid Item"   by A Guest Visitor . I hope this helps some.

*Moon*
In conclusion, I hope this review was much more helpful than the one of which I cleared and this is replacing. I know in my heart it is in my eyes and in my heart I feal better about it. Thank you for granting me permission to give these reviews and glance through your port.

Image #1662838 over display limit. -?-




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed.

Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-
756
756
Review of Halloween Meeting  
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Invalid Item ♥♥♥♥♥
wordgoddess design


(hover your mouse over the intro to view the details)

Intro





Revelry new writings soon

*Sun*
Welcome back my friend. It is good to see you around again. Perhaps it has been a while since your return, however, It has been quite some time since our paths have passed.

*Star*
~alittle a little left
This small mistake comes into play in the third sentence in the second paragraph.

~This second paragraph seems to have come out with a rush of excitement. I say this for the punctuation, to me, is all off key. Commas appear in place of periods and vice a versa. Here are the differences in paragraph two as I see them. I broke them down individually. The first is as you have it the second is as I view it.

She lays some old correspondence between him and her great-aunt Evelyn on the ground in front of her.

Upon which she places a white sugar skull with his name, next she lights the seven red candles and sprinkles some dirt from his original grave.

She begins to pray in earnest, just to meet the man who captured the world's attention and her great-aunts heart.

Minutes turn to what seems to eternity, and when she finally dares to look up because all but two of the candles have flickered out unexpectedly.

Its done with her nerves on edge and heart beating fast the faint tinge of hope rising in her throat


She lays some old correspondence between him and her great-aunt Evelyn on the ground in front of her, upon which she places a white sugar skull with his name.

Next she lights the seven red candles and sprinkles some dirt from his original grave.

She begins to pray in earnest, her excitement building, just to meet the man who captured the world's attention and her great-aunts heart, is something she has always dreamed of.

Minutes turn to what seems to eternity, and when she finally dares to look up, because all but two of the candles have flickered out unexpectedly.

Its done. Her nerves tingle with excitement as her heart beats faster with the tinge of hope rising in her throat.


~Starting a sentence with a conjunction, but or and, creates an incomplete sentence for the reader. This can be changed by adding a comma and joining the sentence with the previous one, since they are of the same subject. That, or drop the conjunction and open strong for the next sentence. Though the use of conjunctions to start sentences is becoming more of a norm in today's writings, it is still frowned upon in many writing circles. When used with slang terminology, the use of conjunctions to start sentences is a commonality. I have found that the younger the audience, the more the use of conjunctions starting sentences.

*Moon*
Overall this was a very interesting little tale. One from the past is brought back to tell of life after and all in between. A friendship and bond is form, one that was sparked by letters read as a child.

Other than the one paragraph that seemed to have caused such excitement it couldn't help but come out in a rush, the rest of the story seems to have calmed itself and settled into place. I feel this was a nice easy read and wonder if it placed in the contest.

Image #1662838 over display limit. -?-




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed.

Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-
757
757
Review of Through the Storm  
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum [E]♥♥♥♥♥
wordgoddess design


(hover your mouse over the intro to view the details)

Intro





intheventofire

*Sun*
Otto needs to wake up, for her isn't in Oz anymore. This is a twist on an old favorite, or not so favorite, that has been around for many years. This is a fine tuned edition that has been gone through before and seems to be up to par and about ready for publication.

*Star*
The only issue I seem to have found with this piece was within the second sentence. Uncle's M's I believe, should be Uncle M's If this were done deliberate, I do apologize.

*Moon*
A great short piece, now on with the story....*Wink*

Image #1662838 over display limit. -?-




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed.

Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-
758
758
Review of Decaying Beauty  
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum [E]♥♥♥♥♥
kiyasama designs


(hover your mouse over the intro to view the details)

Intro





Winnie Kay

*Sun*
Which came first, the picture or the poem. It is hard to say, for they both seem to compliment each other. This is a great creation of poetic masterpiece. I am in awe at the ease you seem to have with this format I choose to see as difficult.

*Star*
You have captured Autumn at her finest and glorified her beauty for eternity in one glimpse. A Kodak moment in poetic form. That is the first time I have seen the word Legerdemain used other than as a username on site, and found that an interesting addition to the poem.



Image #1662838 over display limit. -?-




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed.

Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-
759
759
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum [E]♥♥♥♥♥
Purple background


(hover your mouse over the intro to view the details)

Intro


*Vine2*{item:}*Vine1*



Cami M

*Sun*
An interview with a retiree who has lost his wife some five years back and misses her dearly. He shares his views with a reporter on life and much more.


*Star*
~Starting a sentence with a conjunction, but or and, creates an incomplete sentence for the reader. This can be changed by adding a comma and joining the sentence with the previous one, since they are of the same subject. That, or drop the conjunction and open strong for the next sentence. Though the use of conjunctions to start sentences is becoming more of a norm in today's writings, it is still frowned upon in many writing circles. When used with slang terminology, the use of conjunctions to start sentences is a commonality. I have found that the younger the audience, the more the use of conjunctions starting sentences.

*Moon*
It took me a few readings to get just how this is suppose to be read. I chalk that up more due to the time of day and not the way it is written. Keep writing. Great job.

Image #1662838 over display limit. -?-




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed.

Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-
760
760
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum [E]♥♥♥♥♥
Purple background


(hover your mouse over the intro to view the details)

Intro





swiftti24

*Sun*
An emotional poem of heartache and pain. This is deep in emotion and sorrow.

*Star*
~The green color scheme is very hard on the eyes. I would suggest something less bright, and more dark in nature so as to be easier for readers.

~ALIGNMENT
Sometimes something as simple as where an item is placed upon the page can help to determine how it is interpreted. Poetry is up to the interpretation of the reader. What a poet writes, and the message a reader gets isn't always the same, especially when using metaphors. That being said, aligning a poem to the left of a page implies unification; all is right in the world. Centering an item so that all of the lines are askew, based upon character count, can have the meaning of chaos and turmoil in life or emotion. I felt with the emotional upheaval of the piece that centering this was a great choice to best showcase and enhance the aesthetics of the poem. Though keep in mind, this is just my personal opinion, I am but a novice when it comes to poetry and its teachings.

~Some will tell you that punctuation is needed in poetry. Others will argue that it is not needed and makes no difference. Still, there will be those who say it is up to the particular poet and the poem itself. Personally I feel that the way the verses flow down the page, that punctuation is necessary for this piece. Though without it, the message is still there, it just isn't as strong.

For me, I use to write poetry without any punctuation. Somewhere down the line someone gave me sound advice and it made sense to me. The punctuation, or lack thereof in a poem, is the direction of the writer, guiding the reader. The punctuation is where the author wishes the reader to take a breath; to contemplate; to pause for dramatic effect. The lack of punctuation says the same thing, "Read in one breath, whether slow, or fast, down the page". To me, punctuation is direction from the author to the reader. Use it, or don't , to your heart's desire and don't let anyone persuade you otherwise. However, if using it, be consistent throughout the piece. My personal opinion, this poem would benefit from consistent punctuation. The punctuation tends to get lost after the first two verses.



Image #1662838 over display limit. -?-




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed.

Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-
761
761
Review of Love  
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum [E]♥♥♥♥♥
kiyasama designs


(hover your mouse over the intro to view the details)

Intro


*Vine2*"Love*Vine1*



kaitlynn

*Sun*
A love filled poem from one to another, simple yet complex with emotion.

*Star*
ALIGNMENT
Sometimes something as simple as where an item is placed upon the page can help to determine how it is interpreted. Poetry is up to the interpretation of the reader. What a poet writes, and the message a reader gets isn't always the same, especially when using metaphors. That being said, aligning a poem to the left of a page implies unification; all is right in the world. Centering an item so that all of the lines are askew, based upon character count, can have the meaning of chaos and turmoil in life or emotion. I feel that with the shortness of the poem and the overall feeling of emotion, that centering it, sort of brings out the emotion and places it center stage. This helps to enhance the emotion of the poem. Though keep in mind, this is just my personal opinion, I am but a novice when it comes to poetry and its teachings.

*Moon*
Overall a great piece other than the fact that the word friend seems to be misspelled.

Image #1662838 over display limit. -?-




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed.

Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-
762
762
Review of help  
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum [E]♥♥♥♥♥
Purple background


(hover your mouse over the intro to view the details)

Intro


*Vine2*"help*Vine1*



swiftti24

*Sun*
An emotional poem of loss and and despair. Raw feelings expressed as one is torn from another. A great demonstration of what tragedy can do to us..

*Star*
Sometimes something as simple as where an item is placed upon the page can help to determine how it is interpreted. Poetry is up to the interpretation of the reader. What a poet writes, and the message a reader gets isn't always the same, especially when using metaphors. That being said, aligning a poem to the left of a page may imply unification; all is right in the world. Centering an item so that all of the lines are askew, based upon character count, can have the meaning of chaos and turmoil in life or emotion. With the loss of identity demonstrated with the lower case I, and the pleas for return, I feel that centering this poem would further help illustrate the emotional turmoil. Though keep in mind, this is just my personal opinion, I am but a novice when it comes to poetry and its teachings.
*Moon*
I am torn on just what to rate this. Overall a great poem. However the lack of capitalization of the I, can be one of two things. It can be a hurried job with no proof read, and this conclusion due to the title not being capitalized and the misspelling in the subtitle as well. On the other hand, the lower case I, can be a tool the author is using to show lack of self respect. Without the other person, who are they as an individual. It further helps to demonstrate the need for help by leaving the lower case, so is this done on purpose.

Image #1662838 over display limit. -?-




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed.

Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-
763
763
Review of I Miss Buttons  
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum [E]♥♥♥♥♥
Purple background


(hover your mouse over the intro to view the details)

Intro





>>^..^<< Kat

*Sun*
A short story well suited for all ages, this is a great piece on learning about life and how we sometimes have to face the unthinkable. This is about growing up and learning, deduction, and acceptance, this is life.

*Star*
~It appears to me that one vital word is missing from the opening line. No matter how many times I read it, I keep adding one word, so I will add it here for you to view and decide for yourself if it should be here in the story:

Cindy had said the same

~I feel that introducing a new character at the end of the story was misleading and confusing. I felt that something needed to be mentioned about Jasper being a good friend or confident before-hand so that we the reader know when she speaks of going to speak with Jasper, that we know why she settles on this as a good name for the pup.

*Moon*
Overall a great story, just a few small details left to ironed out. The grammar, spelling and punctuation all appear to be in order. This is targeted to be well suited for any age of reader. Well done.

Image #1662838 over display limit. -?-




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed.

Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-
764
764
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum [E]♥♥♥♥♥
kiyasama designs


(hover your mouse over the intro to view the details)

Intro





janice48 Have a Nice Day!!

*Sun*
A poem of rhyming couplets which trickle down the page pouring forth multitudes of love and adoration for two sons who have been a true blessing. Though this reads as if written for one, it is dedicated to both. At first this was confusing to me, but after much deliberation I was able to wrap my mind around it. It is hard to say if this was written with one in mind or the other, or if this was written for sons in general and dedicated to your sons. However the case may be, the sons represented here are strong and well loved. The strengths portrayed here are ones any mother would be proud to find in her sons.

*Star*
~in the fourth verse, last line, a space needs to follow the comma.

*Moon*
Overall a wonderful piece. I could find nothing detracting from the poem.

Image #1662838 over display limit. -?-




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed.

Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-
765
765
Review of Thump Thump Beep  
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum [E]♥♥♥♥♥
kiyasama designs


(hover your mouse over the intro to view the details)

Intro





Aila Jade

*Sun*
I must admit, the first time I saw this was from the perspective of a terrible review, or at least my view of what was a terrible review. So I took a quick glance at was being reviewed, without reading the content. That was a day ago. Upon reading this fully for the first time I see where his review was coming from, but I also see where he was wrong, and where some alterations can help to clear some misunderstandings.

*Star*
~Sometimes something as simple as where an item is placed upon the page can help to determine how it is interpreted. Poetry is up to the interpretation of the reader. What a poet writes, and the message a reader gets isn't always the same, especially when using metaphors. That being said, aligning a poem to the left of a page may imply unification; all is right in the world. Centering an item so that all of the lines are askew, based upon character count, can have the meaning of chaos and turmoil in life or emotion. With the noises of the machines, in conjunction of the turmoil of the sorrow and grief caused by their actions, this poem would be greatly justified and better suited if it were to be centered upon the page. Centering it helps to give it the illusion of a rant or rave. Short words or emotions going down the page in poetic form to describe an action or thought. Though keep in mind, this is just my personal opinion, I am but a novice when it comes to poetry and its teachings.

*Moon*
I hope the above mentioned idea will help you reach some other readers so they can see your vision of poetry.

Image #1662838 over display limit. -?-




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed.

Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-
766
766
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum [E]♥♥♥♥♥
Purple background


(hover your mouse over the intro to view the details)

Intro





Jayde Davids

*Sun*
If you knew what was to come life would be like walking on eggshells. Though the title doesn't bear much relationship in conjunction with the paragraph other than to mention it once, it does bring up a good point. If you knew what life had in store for you, what would you do to prevent it?

*Star*
There were a few blaring items that needed pointed out. When I say blaring, I am referencing that to me these are items that jumped out at me as needed mentioning, not that they are blaring mistakes...

~It was snowing when I got into my carimmediately preceding this is a comma which should be a period.

the man eye I loved

*Moon*
Overall, I found this to be an interesting couple of paragraphs. It felt like I had seen this or read this somewhere before, only I have not. The reality of what can be and what is, often is a fine line. These eggshells are so often just that, a fine line waiting to be crossed.

Image #1662838 over display limit. -?-




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed.

Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-
767
767
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum [E]♥♥♥♥♥
wordgoddess design


(hover your mouse over the intro to view the details)

Intro





Cosimo

*Sun*
A deep reflection in such a small piece. Many metaphors can be derived from this conclusive poem.

*Star*
~Sometimes something as simple as where an item is placed upon the page can help to determine how it is interpreted. Poetry is up to the interpretation of the reader. What a poet writes, and the message a reader gets isn't always the same, especially when using metaphors. That being said, aligning a poem to the left of a page may imply unification; all is right in the world. Centering an item so that all of the lines are askew, based upon character count, can have the meaning of chaos and turmoil in life or emotion. The alignment of this poem was a perfect choice. I feel the format and subject matter complement each other through the centering of this poem. Though keep in mind, this is just my personal opinion, I am but a novice when it comes to poetry and its teachings.

*Moon*
Overall a well written poem I liked as is. Great Job.

Image #1662838 over display limit. -?-




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed.

Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-
768
768
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum [E]♥♥♥♥♥
wordgoddess design


(hover your mouse over the intro to view the details)

Intro





N. Cain

*Sun*
A school assignment, so happy to review. An interesting piece this is here, life as another being, yet one we are familiar with.
*Star*
~towards~ represents directional movement or action of time. In speech many people like to take the action words and give them an added syllable "s" to help propel them forward. Already being a word of action, this effort is unnecessary and leads to creating a slang term. This terminology then transfers into our writing. Now, if the piece of writing already contains slang terminology throughout the piece, then this would be acceptable, if not, then I would alter the word to the proper form, as I suggest with this instance. This also happens with forward, afterward, inward, downward, backward, outward, beside, to name a few.

~Starting a sentence with a conjunction, but or and, creates an incomplete sentence for the reader. This can be changed by adding a comma and joining the sentence with the previous one, since they are of the same subject. That, or drop the conjunction and open strong for the next sentence. Though the use of conjunctions to start sentences is becoming more of a norm in today's writings, it is still frowned upon in many writing circles. When used with slang terminology, the use of conjunctions to start sentences is a commonality. I have found that the younger the audience, the more the use of conjunctions starting sentences.

~heard on of an entire new world


*Moon*
Overall, not bad. It is plain to tell from the grammar and sentence structure that this is a school writing. I do not mean this in a negative or demeaning way. I did find humor in this and thought it a creative writing for a student. Here is an alternative to the first and opening paragraph, as I see it... not saying anything is wrong with what you have, just an alternate view:

Where did the Jellyfish go? The Jellyfish had gone home to pack, "Hello Antartica! Here I come!", he shouted. Grabbing his suitcase and slithering to his car, he drove down Jellyfish Road, and that is when the accident happened.

Image #1662838 over display limit. -?-




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed.

Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-
769
769
Review of Today  
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum [E]♥♥♥♥♥
wordgoddess design


(hover your mouse over the intro to view the details)

Intro


*Vine2*"Today*Vine1*



.enn

*Sun*
If ever there were a poem on life, then this is it. To me this is summing up all that I am going through now, and the outlook, I should be heading, though am choosing to ignore. This is the view I take and choose to show to others, though often forget to look at or accept for myself.

*Star*
They say you will never truly appreciate what you have until it is gone, that being said, then yes, you can never have a true high in life without a very low. This is life in its most simplified terms, yet it is as complex as it gets. This is reality.

*Moon*
~Sometimes something as simple as where an item is placed upon the page can help to determine how it is interpreted. Poetry is up to the interpretation of the reader. What a poet writes, and the message a reader gets isn't always the same, especially when using metaphors. That being said, aligning a poem to the left of a page may imply unification; all is right in the world. Centering an item so that all of the lines are askew, based upon character count, can have the meaning of chaos and turmoil in life or emotion. I felt that this poem would benefit from centering in the aspect that life isn't a flat left or right solid line to follow down the page, it is about uneven lines, and ups and downs. The centered poem would offer cohesion to the overall picture in the aspect that it helps create a relationship for the reader to visualize. Though keep in mind, this is just my personal opinion, I am but a novice when it comes to poetry and its teachings.


Image #1662838 over display limit. -?-




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed.

Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-
770
770
Review of My Friend  
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum [E]♥♥♥♥♥
kiyasama designs


(hover your mouse over the intro to view the details)

Intro





Montovani

*Sun*
This was a hard piece for me to read as well as review. I have had to come back to this several times. That is because it struck home with me and hit a personal note. I didn't read the subscript to know right away what this was about, but I somehow sensed that the friend was a pet who had passed. Having lost a pet a year ago, one of 15years, a close friend, this was devastating, and reading something so nerve touching brought back feelings and emotions I wasn't ready to have visit me this day. So I put this away until now.

Having a poem touch you on such a personal level says a lot about the poem as well as the talent of the writer.

*Star*
~The fourth verse last line needs a period to end the line to be in conjunction with the rest of the poem.

~The fourth verse, the usage of the word to, used twice, should be changed to tooin order to be grammatically correct.

~Though the poem hit so many nerve endings, I felt many of the lines were a bit lengthy for a poem and could use some editing for content. Though this is just personal opinion. Since free-style form is used, the length and number of lines per verse should not be of issue.

*Moon*
Overall this is a well written poem, though there were a few minor changes that could improve it in this readers mind.

Image #1662838 over display limit. -?-




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed.

Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-
771
771
Review of Take Care of Mama  
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum [E]♥♥♥♥♥
kiyasama designs


(hover your mouse over the intro to view the details)

Intro





Trouble

*Sun*
Though the emotion of the poem was jerky with tears and sobs, the rhyming was on the mark. The emotional aspect had tears flowing each time I read this piece.

*Star*
~Some will tell you that punctuation is needed in poetry. Others will argue that it is not needed and makes no difference. Still, there will be those who say it is up to the particular poet and the poem itself. Personally I feel that the way the verses flow down the page, that punctuation is necessary for this piece. Though without it, the message is still there, it just isn't as strong.

For me, I use to write poetry without any punctuation. Somewhere down the line someone gave me sound advice and it made sense to me. The punctuation, or lack thereof in a poem, is the direction of the writer, guiding the reader. The punctuation is where the author wishes the reader to take a breath; to contemplate; to pause for dramatic effect. The lack of punctuation says the same thing, "Read in one breath, whether slow, or fast, down the page". To me, punctuation is direction from the author to the reader. Use it, or don't , to your heart's desire and don't let anyone persuade you otherwise. However, if using it, be consistent throughout the piece. My personal opinion, this poem would benefit from punctuation.

*Moon*
Overall a wonderful poem. I had nothing to add, other than the one suggestion above.

Image #1662838 over display limit. -?-




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed.

Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-
772
772
Review of January Hush  
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum [E]♥♥♥♥♥
kiyasama designs


(hover your mouse over the intro to view the details)

Intro





Laurel Harmony

*Sun*
A picturesque tapestry is created with this short and sweet one verse poem. With the simplicity of it, I can see many variations put onto this piece, though as it is, it stands strong on it's own, just windy on some lines.

*Star*
A great journal entry. I can envision a young child staring out the window past the ceramic angels mom has put in the window to protect and watch over them. Past the wings out in the yard, the snowflakes have just begun to fall as the sun is going down and the darkness is taking over.

*Moon*
Overall a well written piece. I felt it a bit wordy though for my personal taste, though that is just personal. I can see many variations to this without detracting from the original concept.

Image #1662838 over display limit. -?-




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed.

Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-
773
773
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
 
♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum [E]♥♥♥♥♥
Purple background


(hover your mouse over the intro to view the details)

Intro





Sky


I thought that the repetition of the words was distracting from the point. I see another alternative and would like to share it, so as not to copy the whole thing I will just do a few of the verses:

Red;
the color of blood;
pain;
war;
hatred;
guilt.
The color of my hands.

White;
the color of snow;
purity;
innocence;
freshness;
newness.
The color of my mind.


~Sometimes something as simple as where an item is placed upon the page can help to determine how it is interpretated. Poetry is up to the interpretation of the reader. What a poet writes, and the message a reader gets isn't always the same, especially when using metaphors. That being said, aligning a poem to the left of a page may imply unification; all is right in the world. Centering an item so that all of the lines are askew, based upon character count, can have the meaning of chaos and turmoil in life or emotion. Though keep in mind, this is just my personal opinion, I am but a novice when it comes to poetry and its teachings.

*Moon*
The opening, right after the poem is strong and has captured my attention. This is intriguing and would have me looking further at this book. One small typo is that in the last few lines of typing at the bottom, beginning with "As long as lived the word IIs omitted.

Image #1662838 over display limit. -?-




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed.

Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-
774
774
Review of A Passing Away  
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum [E]♥♥♥♥♥
Purple background


(hover your mouse over the intro to view the details)

Intro





Kris D'Amato

*Star*
~Sometimes something as simple as where an item is placed upon the page can help to determine how it is interpretated. Poetry is up to the interpretation of the reader. What a poet writes, and the message a reader gets isn't always the same, especially when using metaphors. That being said, aligning a poem to the left of a page may imply unification; all is right in the world. Centering an item so that all of the lines are askew, based upon character count, can have the meaning of chaos and turmoil in life or emotion. I felt that the disturbing underlying tones of this torturous poem put the emotions in such a state that aligning the poem further agitates the surface so as to help create the feeling of unrest and uncertainty. Though keep in mind, this is just my personal opinion, I am but a novice when it comes to poetry and its teachings.

*Moon*
One part of this bothered me, and that was the line Memories too broken...for how can this be? I am sitting here analyzing this by talking this out here with you, so bear with me. Once a memory is broken, can it be fixed? How is a memory broken? If a memory can be fixed then the phrase too broken would work.

Overall this was a dark poem that I truly could not at this time wrap my thoughts around. Not to say this isn't a good poem, just that it isn't in my genre of reading at the time. For this is well written.
Image #1662838 over display limit. -?-




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed.

Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-
775
775
Review of Gazing  
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum [E]♥♥♥♥♥
kiyasama designs


(hover your mouse over the intro to view the details)

Intro


*Vine2*"Gazing*Vine1*



JACE

*Sun*
The poem brilliantly describes the picture, and the picture compliments the poem. Together the two create a scenery of cold pristine winter as the isolation of solitude and the early morning sense of peace shrouds us in a protective covering of winter.

*Star*
The format chosen for this poem or the poem chosen to be used for this format (chicken first or egg), either way, they both compliment each other in such a fashion that the two were born in and of each other, together, in unison as one.

*Moon*
I felt this poem was a brilliant piece of work. So much so that I am going digging for some much deserved gps to display a ribbon of beauty to accompany this poem. This is a marvelous piece of art that captures the feeling of winter and fresh fallen snow.

Image #1662838 over display limit. -?-




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed.

Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-
1,424 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 57 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/whome/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/31