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726
726
Review by ~WhoMe???~
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Rated: ASR | (5.0)
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omniblueeyes




Just an Ordinary Boo!

*Shamrock*TITLE*Shamrock*
The title describes exactly what this is, though it encompasses a small group of the larger picture. When I first read the title, I was expecting a list, a picture, a forum, all of a much larger group. Personally I feel the name is too encompassing, and those of us who think of you as a friend here on writing.com are a group so large that the title becomes deceiving. We open the static and perhaps have preconceived ideas as to what may lay inside.

Now refer back, I did say that the title is dead on for what is here inside. I do however think something a little more intimate would work better. I will have to go get some coffee and think on this though, so let us move on to the next part of the review *Wink*...on a side note, I got to clicking on each of the links and had all of them open, read them all, then I couldn't remember which one I had started reviewing *Blush*.

*Shamrock*FORMAT/STYLE*Shamrock*
The format chosen for this piece was one of rhythm and rhyme, setting the stage for the pictures and information to come behind. A great opener, leading in with a poem like that. One thing to consider though would be the placement of the poem. Does it compliment the story more if it is centered, or aligned?


Sometimes something as simple as where an item is placed upon the page can help to determine how it is interpreted. Poetry is up to the interpretation of the reader. What a poet writes, and the message a reader gets isn't always the same, especially when using metaphors. That being said, aligning a poem to the left of a page may imply unification; all is right in the world. Centering an item so that all of the lines are askew, based upon character count, can have the meaning of chaos and turmoil in life or emotion. Personally, I feel that either centering or aligned left both work for this piece. Though keep in mind, this is just my personal opinion, I am but a novice when it comes to poetry and its teachings.

*Shamrock*RHYTHM/RHYME*Shamrock*
The rhyme was written in alternating rhyming couplets that compliment each other down the page. I found the rhythm a bit off, probably that coffee thing I spoke of earlier, but that is because I haven't read it out loud yet to quite find the voice.

*Shamrock*SUGGESTIONS*Shamrock*
Other than perhaps centering the poem, and MAYBE, altering the name, I would leave it as is. After all, my suggestions are merely personal opinion, and after all, it is the author's opinion that matters most.


*Shamrock*OVERALL IMPRESSION*Shamrock*
Overall, I felt this was a well written piece. Friends sharing their adventures together. This looks like you all had fun. The spirit of friendship truly shines forth here. Friends and family, as it should be... GREAT JOB!
lonewolfmcq
727
727
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Daizy May

*Sun*
Daizy my dear,
I have missed you so,
came stumbling in
just to let you know.

Once here I found
this fabulous piece,
my admiration for you,
just never does cease.

Your poetry skills
and creativity too
have me laughing and crying
while thinking of you.


*Star*
Sorry, got carried away. This is a most fabulous poem. Very creative and tasteful. None of the rhymes feel forced. The rhythm is concise and the voice of the poem is light-hearted and fun.

*Moon*
I am quite taken with this very creative poem. It is brilliantly executed.

saph designed




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lonewolfmcq
728
728
Review of The Library Lady  
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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Mara ♣ McBain

*Sun*
It is not everyday you come across a piece of writing that in such a short period of time will have goose bumps on your arms and tears trickling down your cheeks. The written word is a powerful tool. Books have a magical power in so that they can transport you to another world. Whether it be to the world of mathematics, the jungles of the islands, or to another planet, the attraction of books is powerful. Tricia and Kasey have formed a bond of friendship through books, and their friendship is about to embark on a whole new journey. This is a short story which details the turning events in their friendship at the same time bringing Tricia full circle.

*Star*
This was a most moving piece. I found myself wishing to read the whole story, and not the shortened version. Though in fact there is no longer piece, this is a story that very well could sustain a novel in and of itself, based on this short story alone.

*Moon*
The emotions and actions of this story are as real as you and me. These are events that could transpire in any city, to any person. The deep felt connection between the characters has a strong pull and really captures your attention.


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lonewolfmcq
729
729
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
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Mara ♣ McBain

*CandyCaneG*
A wonderful activity for the adults of the community. This exercise in writing really gets the juices flowing. This is an on-going event that has been running for several years now.

*CandyCaneR*
The layout of the rules for the contest are easy to read and follow. The detailed instructions for the writers leave no mistake as to how to submit, where to do so , and what is expected.
It is my understanding that a new round will be out in January, so this contest will be listed in the next Contest and Activities newsletter I submit.

*CandyCaneG*
Overall this was a good stop. I checked out a few of the entries and I must say that judging will be tough. Good luck to the judges and the entrants.

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730
730
Review of Christmas  
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO FORUM T...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Francesca

*Sun*
For some it is the simple things in life that are important, to others the here and now, or the future. There are even those who choose to live in the past. This is a short story of a simple treasure of time and what is important in life. To Annie, this is a moment in time to be treasured, and though times are tough and the future looking grim, she chooses to brighten the day for Isobel anyway.

*Star*
~Turning to the stall holder
The word in red is not in the original text, but should be for grammatical continuity.

*Moon*
Overall this is a well written story. I found myself caught in a moment, sharing a treasure with Isobel and Annie. What a delight for us all!

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731
731
Review of Imperfection  
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Elisa: Middle Aged Stik

*Sun*
A letter between friends discussing the perfect mate, and what expectations should be met. This is a first hand accounting from Davena to Betsy on just exactly what she thinks a man should be like in a relationship. She refers several times to her age as being something these choices have been based upon, and I wonder if instead of age, it is wisdom she is actually referring to?

*Star*
Free of grammar, spelling or punctuation error, I found this a delight to read.

*Moon*
Overall a fantastic short piece that all can benefit from viewing. The same could be said for either gender.

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732
732
Review of Still Loving You  
Review by ~WhoMe???~
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Rated: E | (5.0)
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jaya


*Sun*
This was very eloquently written. I have read this over and over several times now and am captivated by the beauty of this poem.

*Star*
At first glance I thought that the verses were free from punctuation, and was about ready to insert a standby reply concerning such. However, after reading this two or three times, I finally found the voice. Sometimes it takes reading an item several times. Sometimes silently, sometimes out loud, before we truly find the voice of the poem. I can see after many visits that the punctuation was there all along behind the words, I just failed to see them, for I was wrapped in the beauty of the poem.

*Moon*
Overall, I could find no errors in this poem. The structure is sound, the rhythm and voice easy to follow, and the grammar, punctuation and spelling, are all in order. Great Work!


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733
733
Review of Still Loving You  
Review by ~WhoMe???~
Rated: E | (5.0)
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jaya

*Sun*
This was very eloquently written. I have read this over and over several times now and am captivated by the beauty of this poem.

*Star*
At first glance I thought that the verses were free from punctuation, and was about ready to insert a standby reply concerning such. However, after reading this two or three times, I finally found the voice. Sometimes it takes reading an item several times. Sometimes silently, sometimes out loud, before we truly find the voice of the poem. I can see after many visits that the punctuation was there all along behind the words, I just failed to see them, for I was wrapped in the beauty of the poem.

*Moon*
Overall, I could find no errors in this poem. The structure is sound, the rhythm and voice easy to follow, and the grammar, punctuation and spelling, are all in order. Great Work!

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734
734
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO FORUM T...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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This review comes to you from ~A.J. Lyle~ with this message:
Thank you for your amazing reviews on behalf of Showering Acts of Joy for the month of November *Smile*


sherryb

*Sun*
I chose this group of yours to review, because I know how special and dear it is to you. This is a group you created over a year ago to help others, and it has flourished and grown.

*Star*
Along with reviewing this for the package, I have included it in the next newsletter I edit under the contest and activities newsletter, so that anyone else wishing to join may contact you. There may be a few newbies out there looking for such a group as this.

*Moon*
This is a dedicated group that gives to others in a such a way that no other can compare.

The group page is well lain out with clear and concise details on what is expected. There were no grammar, spelling or punctuation errors notated.

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735
735
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *Candlev*


i am emily

*Sun*
This is a short and sweet love poem. Written with an alternate rhyming patterbn, this love story is about the circle of love and how the power of love can sustain all.

*Star*
~Starting a sentence or verse with a conjunction, but or and, creates an incomplete sentence or thought for the reader. This can be changed by adding a comma and joining the sentence with the previous one, since they are of the same subject. That, or drop the conjunction and open strong for the next sentence, or if in verse, simply omit the conjunction or substitute another word. Though the use of conjunctions to start sentences is becoming more of a norm in today's writings, it is still frowned upon in many writing circles. When used with slang terminology, the use of conjunctions to start sentences is a commonality. I have found that the younger the audience, the more the use of conjunctions starting sentences. Therefore, I would suggest omitting the conjunction for starting out the second verse.


The rhyming pattern is clearly evident that it is meant as an alternate rhyme, however the pattern is a bit rough in places. Using hand to again as a rhyme is a bit of a stretch even using different dialects.

*Moon*
Overall a quaint little love poem, with a bit of work needed in a few small places.

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736
736
Review of For George  
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with Need Help With An Upgrade???  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *Candlev*


Aspen

*Sun*
An inside look at the feelings and inner thoughts of an inmate.

*Star*
~Some will tell you that punctuation is needed in poetry. Others will argue that it is not needed and makes no difference. Still, there will be those who say it is up to the particular poet and the poem itself. Personally I feel that the way the verses flow down the page, that punctuation is necessary for this piece. Though without it, the message is still there, it just isn't as strong.

For me, I use to write poetry without any punctuation. Somewhere down the line someone gave me sound advice and it made sense to me. The punctuation, or lack thereof in a poem, is the direction of the writer, guiding the reader. The punctuation is where the author wishes the reader to take a breath; to contemplate; to pause for dramatic effect. The lack of punctuation says the same thing, "Read in one breath, whether slow, or fast, down the page". To me, punctuation is direction from the author to the reader. Use it, or don't , to your heart's desire and don't let anyone persuade you otherwise. However, if using it, be consistent throughout the piece. My personal opinion, this poem would benefit from punctuation.

*Moon*
Overall a well written piece. I do not feel the lack of punctuation detracts from the poem, though I feel it would be improved with it, only as in direction for the reader. Do you want this read as a rant, all in one angry breath, or slower and sad? Dictate through punctuation how to read this poem.

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737
737
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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janice48 Have a Nice Day!!

*Sun*
A poem on pain and how it can torment the soul as well as the physical being. This shows the effects pain has on those around us as well.

*Star*
~About midway through the poem I felt the focus on the poem steered away from pain itself and turned toward the taking of one's life. I don't believe this was the purpose of the poem. One way I see of deflecting this is if instead of Who am I to take, try who am I if I were to take a bit more wordy, but I feel it gets your point across better. Just a notation and suggestion.

*Moon*
Overall a well written piece. The rhythm and rhyme stay true throughout the duration of the poem. The subject is harsh and truthful and searches out the light for help. This is as much a spiritual piece as it is a piece of coping with the pain. Hang in there my friend.

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738
738
Review of Monsoon Downpour  
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Annabel Fallentine Lee

*Sun*
A free-style poem on the monsoon season and what it means for one author. A look into a season in a tropical place and how it can feel to experience it.

*Star*
~Some will tell you that punctuation is needed in poetry. Others will argue that it is not needed and makes no difference. Still, there will be those who say it is up to the particular poet and the poem itself. Personally I feel that the way the verses flow down the page, that consistent punctuation is necessary for this piece. Though without it, the message is still there, it just isn't as strong.

For me, I use to write poetry without any punctuation. Somewhere down the line someone gave me sound advice and it made sense to me. The punctuation, or lack thereof in a poem, is the direction of the writer, guiding the reader. The punctuation is where the author wishes the reader to take a breath; to contemplate; to pause for dramatic effect. The lack of punctuation says the same thing, "Read in one breath, whether slow, or fast, down the page". To me, punctuation is direction from the author to the reader. Use it, or don't , to your heart's desire and don't let anyone persuade you otherwise. However, if using it, be consistent throughout the piece. My personal opinion, this poem would benefit from consistent punctuation.

*Moon*
Sometimes something as simple as where an item is placed upon the page can help to determine how it is interpreted. Poetry is up to the interpretation of the reader. What a poet writes, and the message a reader gets isn't always the same, especially when using metaphors. That being said, aligning a poem to the left of a page implies unification; all is right in the world. Centering an item so that all of the lines are askew, based upon character count, can have the meaning of chaos and turmoil in life or emotion. I feel with the unpredictable monsoon downpour and the upheaval and unrest that result, the centering of this free-style poem is justifiable. Though keep in mind, this is just my personal opinion, I am but a novice when it comes to poetry and its teachings.

Overall a well written piece.

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739
739
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Daniel T. Stafford

*Sun*
A wonderful love poem that brings to mind two lovers entwined in each others arms in slumber. A peaceful sight as these newlyweds drift off to sleep, I envision these thoughts from him.

*Star*
~The only editing point I noticed was that one word in the first verse kept this from completion for me. It did so because it was a conjunction and it made the sentence or verse incomplete as if there were more to be said. That being said, I would suggest omitting the conjunction "and " which follows the word eyes. I would insert a comma there and continue on without the conjunction.

*Moon*
Overall a wonderful poem. Other than the one notation above, the grammar, spelling and punctuation were all in order.

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740
740
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Robert Kahil

*Sun*
Poetry is often left to the interpretation of the reader. What the writer writes and the message the reader gets isn't always the same. That being said, to me, this poem represents finding the good in the bad. This is a metaphor for finding the silver lining.
To me, someone had found their all time low, their darkest place, and was rescued by love.

*Star*
I found this to be a rhythmic piece that was well told. I liked the message it gave off as well as the pace it kept as it takes the reader by the hand as it leads them through the passages and into safety.

*Moon*
Overall a well written piece. I found no errors that I could see. I enjoyed reading this as well and did so many times.

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741
741
Review by ~WhoMe???~
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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*Vine2*{item:}*Vine1*



Steve adding writing to ntbk.

*Sun*
Going by the title, I expected to come in and read an Acrostic poem dedicated to your wife, your true love. You are coming up on an anniversary and I was looking forward to reading a tribute in dedication of her. Instead I got much more.

*Star*
The collaborative poem is a free-style piece that sometimes rhymes and other times doesn't. This voice of the poem is a bit hard to pick out, perhaps because there were so many writers working on this, though that may be coincidence. What I mean by this is that it appears to me to jump from place to place.

In the first verse we have karma and the December season shining through as shining stars combine with winter play. The first three lines of the second verse are a bit rough and confusing. It is almost as if you started in one direction and went in another. Read just that verse by itself, as the punctuation dictates us to do. I think perhaps if a period was placed at the end of the first line of the second verse then it all fits perfectly together. It has taken reading this about 5 or 6 times to figure it out though. Many readers would not spend that much time doing so. I would also add a comma after the second word of the third line in the second verse.

After reading this over and over, much slower, and picking it apart sentence by sentence with punctuation, one can see the many levels here the author is showing the respect to. While trying to hold true to the meaning of Christmas, in conjunction with having fun and enjoying the free spirit of the holiday joy, a new feeling has crept in and must be recognized. Some didn't appreciate this, but I hope in time all of the family came around.

*Moon*
As for the acrostic part itself, I found it true to the title, filled with love and romance and the heart of this poem. The rest of the poem, the collaboration, though I was able to pick up bits and pieces, it seems scattered and confusing, yet it does center around your love, and the true meaning of Christmas being lost on many.

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742
742
Review of Follicular Folly  
Review by ~WhoMe???~
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Rated: ASR | (5.0)
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Shannon

*Sun*
What a pleasure it is to once again visit your port. I must say this tale brought a smile to my face and a chuckle from deep inside. Being one who usually works the late hours I have seen many a scene like this and more. This is pretty mild, though one we cashiers like to chuckle about later *Wink*

*Star*
I especially liked the play by play you gave. The inside information from a different perspective was quite interesting. I usually only get to view this from the cashier or manager's point of view, so this was a refreshing insight.

*Moon*

I didn't notice any grammar, spelling or punctuation errors to comment upon. This was well written. It kept my attention and held my interest well. I was impressed with the proper use of Aisle, for many misspell that often.

If it is any consolation, where I work, if the door is unlocked, it is free game, regardless of what gender rendition is on the outside of the door.

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743
743
Review by ~WhoMe???~
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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Matthew C.

*Sun*
A rough draft written for a contest prompt some six years ago, this is a wonderful short story on a tragic finding. This is the story of a rebellious child and what she finds one day while following her instincts and listening to her inner voice.

*Star*
I could find no error with this item. The grammar, spelling and punctuation all appear to be in order. The subject all seems to be in alignment within the paragraphs and the overall effect is of a completed story.
I would suggest omitting the rough draft note.

*Moon*
Overall a great short story, ready for publication as far as I can see.

*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *Candlev*


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744
744
Review of The Face I See  
Review by ~WhoMe???~
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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~*~Damiana Returned~*~

*Sun*
A poem of self discovery. Written with an alternate rhyme, the rhythm of the poem stays true to rhyme with the exception of been to seen unless using a dialect to make it so. A bit of a stretch, but in the end it does work. *Wink* This journey of reflection is metaphoric well told.

*Star*
~Some will tell you that punctuation is needed in poetry. Others will argue that it is not needed and makes no difference. Still, there will be those who say it is up to the particular poet and the poem itself. Personally I feel that the way the verses flow down the page, that punctuation is necessary for this piece. Though without it, the message is still there, it just isn't as strong.

For me, I use to write poetry without any punctuation. Somewhere down the line someone gave me sound advice and it made sense to me. The punctuation, or lack thereof in a poem, is the direction of the writer, guiding the reader. The punctuation is where the author wishes the reader to take a breath; to contemplate; to pause for dramatic effect. The lack of punctuation says the same thing, "Read in one breath, whether slow, or fast, down the page". To me, punctuation is direction from the author to the reader. Use it, or don't , to your heart's desire and don't let anyone persuade you otherwise. However, if using it, be consistent throughout the piece. My personal opinion, this poem would benefit from punctuation.

~Sometimes something as simple as where an item is placed upon the page can help to determine how it is interpreted. Poetry is up to the interpretation of the reader. What a poet writes, and the message a reader gets isn't always the same, especially when using metaphors. That being said, aligning a poem to the left of a page may imply unification; all is right in the world. Centering an item so that all of the lines are askew, based upon character count, can have the meaning of chaos and turmoil in life or emotion. With the alternate rhyming scheme and the emotional pull of this piece, I felt that centering the poem helps to illustrate the struggle of the self discovery. A clever choice Novice Poet. Well done! Though keep in mind, this is just my personal opinion, I am but a novice when it comes to poetry and its teachings.

*Moon*
Overall a wonderful poem. The only changes I would make would be to add punctuation to help accent the poem as the author wishes.

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745
Review of Concubine  
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
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Nightnurse

*Sun*
A wonderful song lyrical and smooth of a devotion of sorts. This is the lover, not the love. The mistress not the wife. This is the fire and passion of an affair to be remembered.

*Star*If writing as a poem, the below suggestion I leave:
~Some will tell you that punctuation is needed in poetry. Others will argue that it is not needed and makes no difference. Still, there will be those who say it is up to the particular poet and the poem itself. Personally I feel that the way the verses flow down the page, that punctuation is necessary for this piece. Though without it, the message is still there, it just isn't as strong.

For me, I use to write poetry without any punctuation. Somewhere down the line someone gave me sound advice and it made sense to me. The punctuation, or lack thereof in a poem, is the direction of the writer, guiding the reader. The punctuation is where the author wishes the reader to take a breath; to contemplate; to pause for dramatic effect. The lack of punctuation says the same thing, "Read in one breath, whether slow, or fast, down the page". To me, punctuation is direction from the author to the reader. Use it, or don't , to your heart's desire and don't let anyone persuade you otherwise. However, if using it, be consistent throughout the piece. My personal opinion, this poem would benefit from punctuation.

If submitting only as a song, I am not sure how to judge this other than I feel punctuation still has its proper place so that the pause for breath is still evident as described above.

*Moon*
Overall a wonderful tune. The rhythm even without the music is felt with a sway of the rhyme, erotic and enticing.

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746
746
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
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nny

*Sun*
A very descriptive tale on a life and the motions of day to day. What characteristics do we hold? Are we the go getter? Are we the follower, or are we simply doing what it takes to get the day done? What is our purpose in life? This is that tale of a simple man with a simple goal.

*Star*
~Starting a sentence with a conjunction, but or and, creates an incomplete sentence for the reader. This can be changed by adding a comma and joining the sentence with the previous one, since they are of the same subject. That, or drop the conjunction and open strong for the next sentence. Though the use of conjunctions to start sentences is becoming more of a norm in today's writings, it is still frowned upon in many writing circles. When used with slang terminology, the use of conjunctions to start sentences is a commonality. I have found that the younger the audience, the more the use of conjunctions starting sentences.

*Moon*
Overall I enjoyed this short story. How many people do we see going through the motions? How many do we take the time to stop and know? If we did, would it make a difference? This short story gives one something to stop and ponder.

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747
747
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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HurricaneWarning

*Sun*
A wonderful pocket of poetry wrapped into one space, possibly due to constraints on limits within the portfolio, this miniature booklet of poetry was a joy to read.

*Star*
With the exception of the first poem, I would give this advice for the remaining poems:
~Some will tell you that punctuation is needed in poetry. Others will argue that it is not needed and makes no difference. Still, there will be those who say it is up to the particular poet and the poem itself. Personally I feel that the way the verses flow down the page, that punctuation is necessary for this piece. Though without it, the message is still there, it just isn't as strong.

For me, I use to write poetry without any punctuation. Somewhere down the line someone gave me sound advice and it made sense to me. The punctuation, or lack thereof in a poem, is the direction of the writer, guiding the reader. The punctuation is where the author wishes the reader to take a breath; to contemplate; to pause for dramatic effect. The lack of punctuation says the same thing, "Read in one breath, whether slow, or fast, down the page". To me, punctuation is direction from the author to the reader. Use it, or don't , to your heart's desire and don't let anyone persuade you otherwise. However, if using it, be consistent throughout the piece. My personal opinion, this poem would benefit from punctuation.

*Moon*
Each poem was true to the subject and carried the message well.

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748
748
Review of Deep and Dark  
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
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I can hide from you

*Sun*
~Some will tell you that punctuation is needed in poetry. Others will argue that it is not needed and makes no difference. Still, there will be those who say it is up to the particular poet and the poem itself. Personally I feel that the way the verses flow down the page, that punctuation is necessary for this piece. Though without it, the message is still there, it just isn't as strong.

For me, I use to write poetry without any punctuation. Somewhere down the line someone gave me sound advice and it made sense to me. The punctuation, or lack thereof in a poem, is the direction of the writer, guiding the reader. The punctuation is where the author wishes the reader to take a breath; to contemplate; to pause for dramatic effect. The lack of punctuation says the same thing, "Read in one breath, whether slow, or fast, down the page". To me, punctuation is direction from the author to the reader. Use it, or don't , to your heart's desire and don't let anyone persuade you otherwise. However, if using it, be consistent throughout the piece. My personal opinion, this poem would benefit from punctuation.

*Star*
Sometimes something as simple as where an item is placed upon the page can help to determine how it is interpreted. Poetry is up to the interpretation of the reader. What a poet writes, and the message a reader gets isn't always the same, especially when using metaphors. That being said, aligning a poem to the left of a page may imply unification; all is right in the world. Centering an item so that all of the lines are askew, based upon character count, can have the meaning of chaos and turmoil in life or emotion. With the emotional turmoil felt in each and every line and the sometimes rhyme felt, centering this would be a good choice to help show the emotional pull. Though keep in mind, this is just my personal opinion, I am but a novice when it comes to poetry and its teachings.

*Moon*
Overall, I feel this poem is well written, however due to the above mentioned items, I feel the full meaning of the poem is lost upon the reader. With the addition of punctuation alone, a clarity can be established helping to connect the reader to the poem.

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749
749
Review of I've read  
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
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Eeyore

*Sun*
A fun filled poem on reading. Filled with rhythm and rhyme this poem was an adventure as reading is.

*Star*
Sometimes something as simple as where an item is placed upon the page can help to determine how it is interpreted. Poetry is up to the interpretation of the reader. What a poet writes, and the message a reader gets isn't always the same, especially when using metaphors. That being said, aligning a poem to the left of a page may imply unification; all is right in the world. Centering an item so that all of the lines are askew, based upon character count, can have the meaning of chaos and turmoil in life or emotion. With the alternate rhyming pattern used in the poem, I felt that the emotional aspect of this poem deserved centering as to show the emotional ups and downs of the poem. Though keep in mind, this is just my personal opinion, I am but a novice when it comes to poetry and its teachings.

~Some will tell you that punctuation is needed in poetry. Others will argue that it is not needed and makes no difference. Still, there will be those who say it is up to the particular poet and the poem itself. Personally I feel that the way the verses flow down the page, that punctuation is necessary for this piece. Though without it, the message is still there, it just isn't as strong.

For me, I use to write poetry without any punctuation. Somewhere down the line someone gave me sound advice and it made sense to me. The punctuation, or lack thereof in a poem, is the direction of the writer, guiding the reader. The punctuation is where the author wishes the reader to take a breath; to contemplate; to pause for dramatic effect. The lack of punctuation says the same thing, "Read in one breath, whether slow, or fast, down the page". To me, punctuation is direction from the author to the reader. Use it, or don't , to your heart's desire and don't let anyone persuade you otherwise. However, if using it, be consistent throughout the piece. My personal opinion, this poem would benefit from punctuation.

*Moon*
Overall a great poem.

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750
750
Review of I AM  
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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*Vine2*"I AM" *Vine1*



tangerinedream

*Sun*
I found this to be a very profound and spiritual piece that was calming and yet meant to be revealing. I felt this to be a prose of inner reflection at the same time metaphoric and spiritually healing, a creative combination.

*Star*
~Starting a sentence with a conjunction, but or and, creates an incomplete sentence for the reader. This can be changed by adding a comma and joining the sentence with the previous one, since they are of the same subject. That, or drop the conjunction and open strong for the next sentence. Though the use of conjunctions to start sentences is becoming more of a norm in today's writings, it is still frowned upon in many writing circles. When used with slang terminology, the use of conjunctions to start sentences is a commonality. I have found that the younger the audience, the more the use of conjunctions starting sentences.

*Moon*
I feel that the opening and closing lines of this prose are done in such a way that this will writing will captivate audiences for reasons they can not explain. They will read this, whether they have religious ties or not, to find out what this is about. The GOTCHA opening line is a winner and the home-run ending combine with some great artistic writing to create a tapestry of reflection and revelation to be witnessed by many. BRAVO!

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