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1001
1001
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hello Jeff!

this acrostic that is like a prose poem is well-composed. I am reviewing this for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations on completing one more year of creative association with the WDC. Have a wonderful day!

Your love for and belief in technology is beautifully expressed in this poem. Indeed, technology is a gift for the human world without which it would be difficult to live comfortably.

As I could see, the poem begins with an introduction in which you described the atmosphere. Then the middle part consists of the gift for humanity. The ending shows the result that the gift would bring to all of us.

Very compact indeed.

This poem reinforces our belief in technology and highlights the advancement and progress we have been making in reaching the spatial and starry worlds.

Imagination and facts have combined to produce this appealing verse.

It flows well.

Write on!
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1002
1002
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Judy,

this is a well-told story of trees. You have humanized them so well that I started listening and replying to the trees in my yard.

Your love of trees is extra-ordinary.
"Most every summer afternoon, the wind would race from the nearby fields into my front yard and set Spock to singing."

It is a story with trees as heroes, who served you more than a human being would ever do.

During my stay at Raleigh,NC, I remember the tall and huge oak tree standing right in front of t of my son's apartment. Its branches reached the first story of the building and were within the reach of my hand. Watching it every day would fill my mind with pleasant thoughts of nature. One fine day, the authorities decided to bring it down because its roots are now too much into the foundations of the building. It was a sad sight to see the oak being felled.

I could thus relate to your story of the big cedar, Stock to be precise.

Thanks for a great story.

I loved your language and style.

Write on!
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1003
1003
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
An amazing event is celebrated in this poem. It is a cross between free verse and rhyming verse.

Content of the poem shows the fact that the poet's hundred-year old mother had seen the changes made to our world during the time span she lived through. A century is dotted with changes in life style and social milieu.

"From the fountain pen
To the computer - and more"

Imagery is focused on things that changed her world. Transport like buggies, malls, and computers and experiments to travel to the moon etc, must have contributed to a rich life of experience and enjoyment.

It flows well.

Write on!
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1004
1004
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This birthday poem sounds like a song with a rhythm and rhyme.

The "essence" of love is shown in a number stanzas.

It has the rhyme scheme of AA BB and there is a precise beat to the lyrics. This rhyming verse mirrors the beloved's ennobling qualities and its effect on her partner.

Imagery shows a kind, loving, courageous and helpful person. Its appeal reaches out to the reader.

It flows well.

Write on!
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1005
1005
Review of Facade  
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This free verse shows that there are some people whose aim in life is to trade in lies and deceit. Con men are easy to recognize because as the last line says, they are
"excellent at your trade."

short lines that hit the nail on the head is how this poem appears to me. As the poet observed so the lines are penned. They have a ring of truth and experience.

Rhythm is well maintained.

Write on!
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1006
1006
Review of The Scammer  
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
A well done poem on a man who is "nothing but scam".

Indeed there are a number of examples where people fall for hypocritical men. A false shower praise is enough to entice innocent women to fall into deadly traps and then makes them repent forever.

This poem is a kind of warning to those who socialize too much and cannot differentiate between falsity and truth.

A rhyme scheme of AB AB is maintained through the whole poem of several stanzas. It is a story poem with a message for the reader.

It flows well with a steady rhythm.

Write on!
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1007
1007
Review of Sweet desires  
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Jaya,

I am reviewing this poem for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations on being associated with the WDC for another year. Have a great day!

This poem of couplets tells me the difference between desires and memories. Desires, however sweet they may be fade fast. But memories as I understand "stick to a motivated heart."

Desires are as temporary as memories are permanent.

Imagery is impressive and so is the tempo you maintained.

It flows well.

Write on!
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1008
1008
Review of The Clock Tower  
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
The gory tale sent shivers of fright and pity up my spine. If this is the desired effect, you got it. The play on the reader's sentiments for the boy is done with precision.

Human as I am I was looking for an escape route for the nine year old kid. This being a church, I was expecting an angel of pity to be around and save the boy and let Sanger go into the crunching teeth of the time machine.

The visual effect of the mouse and cat play up the clock is keen and done with the skill of a true craftsman, that is you.

Time, space and action are well matched.

You let the evil won and let innocence be sacrificed by a psycho.

Perfect horror story.

Write on!
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1009
1009
Review of FOOLS RUSH IN  
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Pretty hilarious. The lesson is to wait and see and instead of, as the title says, being a fool to rush in.
Each stanza indicates a different personality trait of this impatient lady. No wonder, they say, patience pays.

The story is interestingly narrated, showing all the physical and mental signs of a lady in hurry to get the telly somehow. It stands for her addiction to the idiot box.

The son appears to be devoted to his mother and her every whim, he fulfills.
"His solution caused her a great deal of dismay."

The grandson is the gainer. She shouldn't worry if he takes it away, because she was ready to pay the person who would offer to take away.
Yet, she is full of regret when the grandson found it working and gladly carried it off.

Now she carries the luggage of regret and depression thereof.

Mind is truly a strange mechanism.

Enjoyed this well-flowing rhyming verse. Imagery is both visual and aural. It is quite appealing.

Write on!
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1010
1010
Review of Game Models  
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is so very interesting. I did an online course with Iversity on the Future of storytelling. There were a number of chapters on various aspects such as

– Storytelling in Digital Games – Intro
Gameplaying & Storytelling
– Scenes & Actions
– Adventure Game Architecture
– The Future of Computer Game Storytelling

Entering Reality: The Extended Screen | Location-based Storytelling & Augmented Reality

There are a number of chapters on various ways of storytelling such the TV, the web and podcast among others. We were given tasks like the one you are doing on the project of augmented reality game.

Perhaps this site could be of use to you. It is a free course and the teachers and the discussions used be pretty professional.

Write on!
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1011
1011
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
So the poem seems to tell me that it is "focus" which is important, and not where you are or how.

The upside down position hardly matters.
"Let the music
Wash over my body."
despite the positioning of the body. Spirit is important as you have stated so vocally.

"Stay calm.
Read the words
And understand
Their meaning."

Imagery gets to the eye.
It takes the mind as well.
Good poem, great flow.

Free verse, free mind.

Write on!
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1012
1012
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This nice poem is inspired by the sight of seagulls "soaring through the air."

The poet talks about the sight and effect that the seagulls had on him. The descriptive details are the very soul of this poem.
"They glide through mountains, perfectly align"

Imagery draws reader's attention to the perfect sight of the birds.

Form poetry repeats the line "Showing the weak, a great motivation," which according to the poet is also an important aspect of the flying seagulls.

This poem appeals to the eye and heart in equal measure.

Write on!
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1013
1013
Review of Virtues - Empathy  
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Alan,

This is a telling poem on your son I believe. I am reviewing it for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations and have a lovely day!

This poem portrays a six-year-old child. He comes to the park and lets his energy out in physical activity. Making his own rules, the little guy is seen "Charging up the slide". Looked wild and unruly. Yet, the hidden side of his mentality surfaces when a little girl hurts herself.

"He ran to help
His face filled with understanding."

This verse shows that each person has two aspects. One that can be seen, and another, unseen.

Imagery clearly lets us see him playing to his heart's content while the father watches.

It flows well.

Write on!
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1014
1014
Review of Ocean Moon  
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello writerpenman,

I am taken by the title that shows both the ocean and the moon at one go. I am reviewing this verse for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations on being associated with the WDC for another year. Have a creative day!

This poem mirrors the images of ocean and moon. You described the aspects both the elements of nature as you have seen and felt. The eternal sea is ever new in its force and flow. The moon remains charming most of the time. The cool moon over sea makes it white and enthralling.

"The full moon rises,
an ocean powerful, crashes."

Imagery makes an imprint on the mind. Poets and lovers wax crazy with the combination of the full moon and a forceful sea with crashing breakers.

It flows well.

Write on!
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1015
1015
Review of Chapter 1  
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
A very sad tale of love and misery. Irene has passed through trials of life at a young age. Haunted and driven by a fate worse than death, she had the courage to lead life as she could. No wonder she died young.

Setting is in small towns. Certain things like sleeping before marriage with a man is shunned at the time she lived. Details are well shown. I remember the heroine of the famous novel "Scarlet Letter", by Nathaniel Hawthorne.

Irene's life is shown in such a way that it stirs the reader's heart and wins sympathy.
Son's love and devotion to his mother appeal to me.

Write on!
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1016
1016
Review of Home  
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Steven,

within the short frame of this poem, you have told the aspects of your personal life. Kudos to that ability.

Home is what cheers your heart. The idea of going home or staying home is comforting and where one feels secure, where one unwinds and relaxes both in body and spirit.

" It was my sanctuary.
It was where I felt safe and accepted."

However, changes are the very basics of life. I notice a search for a new home along with a love of your own is also a good move.

So I conclude that this free verse shows a positive attitude despite some regrets.

"With these hands I will build a new home life.
With her I dare to hope again."

Good poem. It flows well.

Write on!
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1017
1017
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Pluto,

This is a transparent piece of writing. I am here to review this short but certainly an effective item for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations and have a lovely day!

This is one sprawling sentence wherein you have frankly admitted to your thoughts and emotions. It seems there is a very narrow margin between love and friendship. You "wanted" him but not "desired" him. For likes like me it is difficult understand a feeling like that. However, each to his or her thoughts on subjects like "like" and "desire".

Despite treating you very poorly, you still would like his company for your own reasons. Well, these happen I guess.

I am wondering as to how you could fit in such depths of emotions in one sentence.

Pretty good writing exercise.

Write on!
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1018
1018
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Don Fern,

I like this horror story and am reviewing it for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations on being associated with the WDC for another year. Have a memorable day!

A supernatural spirit and a living man's encounter in the gray house has some curious twists. First, for a ghost the girl is good enough to make friends with a man from the world. Second, her suggestion to exchange powers is interesting too. I have never read anything like this before. You have shown through this story that friendship of this kind results in success. Black dog is defeated and the girl's ghost finds freedom from threat of any kind.

Setting and scenes are a draw.

Keep writing.

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1019
1019
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Peter,

I find this matter of love interesting and decided to review it for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations on completing one more year at the WDC. Have a wonderful day!

I notice that the word "excruciating" is applied to something other than physical pain. Possible that a person when struck by the lightning of love might have felt the pain cursing through his veins. This is something novel and it is an emotion generated by the new experience I guess.
You did say it is difficult to define it.
" To feel so strongly for someone that the emotions, the feelings are too much to comprehend?"

Language is clear and is easily comprehensible.

Write on!
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1020
1020
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hello Mark,

I came upon to this poem to review for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations on having completed one more year of association with the WDC. Have a wonderful day!

This poem is pretty appealing on many counts. It is autobiographical in its content. You have written it in a humorous kind of way.
"It's said I'm a charmer, a laugh and a hoot,
I'm witty and handsome and modest to boot!"

Somehow, the tone makes us believe it. The craft of writing takes a new dimension here, because you said you write irrespective of time and mood.

"I write when I'm fresh and I write when I'm tired.
I write to relax, so I write when I'm wired!"

The rhyme and rhythm are worth praise. You maintained a regular syllabic count.

I have enjoyed the poem.

Write on!
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1021
1021
Review of wildflower  
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello galaxygirl

It is my pleasure to review this free verse for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations on being associated with the WDC for one more year. Have a wonderful Anniversary!

This short poem is inspirational mainly. Even when alone a person can achieve a lot with his drive and enthusiasm. Wild flower is a metaphor that shows that it can shine on its own with its bright color and beauty. So does a single person with his or her efforts and steadfastness can shine well. Such people make life interesting. For them life is never "dull".

Imagery is vivid and appeals to our minds and hearts.

Free verse flows well.

Write on!
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1022
1022
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Brenda,

this is a lovely poem, which I feel honored to review for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations on being associated with the WDC for one more year. Have a wonderful day.

This poem contains the metaphor, the "green turns to gold". It is aptly repeated and used as a refrain to get the reader's focus on how it feels to age and mature and still retain a heart that beats to love and marriage in a positive manner.

Imagery-
Imagery is all about love, mature love. In autumn, the season of plenty we see the green turning into gold. So it is with the life of the poet, who finds someone worth marrying in her later years. The image and metaphor are so well blended.

Rhythm and flow-
It is a rhyming verse with AA BB scheme that contributes to a perfect beat throughout the poem.

It flows well.

Write on!
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1023
1023
Review of War Of Depression  
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
For the poet depression is death. He or she lets out anguished cries to contain the pain and panic. panic seems to spring from the thoughts of death. Death holds everyone in fear and nervousness. No wonder, it has more of a vice like grip on people suffering from the pain of depression and the thoughts therefrom.

" I'm slowly drowning.
Into the darkness that death has created."

Imagery shows a person in the throes of depression and the pangs of panic risen out of a mind riddled with anger, sadness and pain.

It is redemption when the poet realizes the inner strength with which he or she can fight the deadly depression and come out as a winner.

It is an inspiring poem that shows the strength of mind and will power.


Write on!
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1024
1024
Review of Dear Me  
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Debbie,

I chose this letter to self to review for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations on finishing another year of association with the WDC. Have a creative day!

This letter is different. You have crucibled motives into one single main motive, "writing". It is true that we tell stories and write articles while young and carefree. Life and experiences change that cool attitude and we forget about improving a talent you might have recognized
"Don't you remember just how much less effort it used to take for you to weave a good story? "

The way you admonish yourself for postponing writing appeals to me. You are right, even stream of thoughts as they cross the mind make good stuff for writing.

Hope you have found your voice by now or will start searching for it soon. Good luck!

Write on!
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1025
1025
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Diann,

I came across this very interesting article and am reviewing it for your WDC account anniversary. Congratulations for being with the WDC for one more year. Have a great day!

This is like a true life picture of your experiences of wanting and finally becoming a nurse. It is impressive that you followed your dream and finally made it materialize. Few have the kind of strong motive as you did.

Nursing is truly a noble profession. Nurses are angels who look after the well being of the patients. It is difficult to run a hospital without nurses. They are needed everywhere. your internship in various branches of medicine prove that fact.

I learn through this article that you have rich experience as a nurse and to some extent a counselor as well, for you talk to patients and make them feel better.

Congratulation on having a great career that gives a lot of confidence and courage to you and to the patients as well.

It is a well written essay which has fluent language and a style which is your own.

Thank you for sharing thoughts and experiences of a life time.

Write on!
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