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701
701
Review of Hunger  
Review by PureSciFi
Rated: ASR | (3.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Hello Bandit's Mama,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your fifteenth year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your short story. And I liked it. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn't stop until I finished it.


The Story: This is a story about vampires. Personally, I don't think that vampire stories are consider Science Fiction. But most people do.


Where Your Location Is: I'm not sure what the location is in this story. I know it's hard to describe a setting with a very short story like this one. But I try to give each one of my stories a location. It may only be a name. And it depends on the Word Count Limit as too how long, or short, my description is.


Your Main Character: There are two main characters in this story. But their names was never given. Personally, I think you should have given these people names. I try to give all of my characters a name - especially the main ones. It makes the character, I think, feel more real if they have a name.


How They Spoke to Me: There was a lot of dialogue used in this story. And what I read looked pretty good to me. Personally, I don't do one sentences in my stories Whether it's dialogue or not doesn't matter. There has to be at least two per paragraph - unless it's a dialogue contest like Dialogue 500. But that's just me.


Any Last Thoughts: I think this review is longer than you story. But as for the story I think you did a good job with it.



I liked your story. Keep on writing.




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702
702
Review by PureSciFi
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Hello AnnaTechnician Gets Technical,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your seventh year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn't stop until I finished reading it.


The Story: This story is about a man who didn't like going to a Post Office. At least he didn't until robots were used. But that all changed when the one he was writing letters to went eletronic.


Where Your Location Is: The Post Office is the main location for this story. But the apartment where the man who used to hate them is also a setting too.


Your Main Character: Of course, the man who used to hate going to the Post Office is the main chaaracter. Personally, I would have given him a name. I try to do that with all of my characters - especially the main ones. It makes the character feel more real, I think, if they have a name. But that's just how I write.


How They Spoke to Me: There really wasn't any dialogue in this story. So I can't comment on that. But there are a few Reviewers who might. And at least one Reviewer who considers this telling instead of showing. There was one thought in this story. Personally, I think this is dialogue too.


Any Last Thoughts: I think you made a mistake with your thought. According to a recent review I got, from a Contest Judge - I think, you aren't suppose to used double quotation marks for thoughts. It should be single ones.



I liked your story a lot. Keep on writing.



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703
703
Review of Matching Skin  
Review by PureSciFi
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Hello lucretius,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your eleventh year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot. It kept me interested from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn't stop reading it until I finished it.


The Story: This story is about a female named Jessica who is about to get a skin graph. At least I think that's what it's about.


Where Your Location Is: The doctor's office was the first location. But there was where Jessica lived was also a setting too.


Your Main Character: Jessica was the main character in this story. But Mathis is also a character in this story. Personally, I would have given the doctor a name too. I try to do that with all of my characters. It makes them more real, I think, if they have names. But that's just the way i write. I do like that you gave names to Jessica and Mathis.


How They Spoke to Me: There was only one line of dialogue in this story. And it looked good to me.


Any Last Thoughts: I noticed that you have written several other Short Stories. And I was wondering if it would be okay if I reviewed them as well. The reason why I ask is because last month I reviewed someone several times - and they considered me stalking them for awhile.



I liked your story a lot. Keep on writing.




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704
704
Review by PureSciFi
Rated: E | (2.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Hello ivicar1020,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your eighth year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I am a little confused by it. It looks like you wrote the same story twice. The only difference between the two is that the first one had some dialogue in it.


The Story: This the story about a boy named Nate. Who was considered a sissy because he plays baseball with a girl's team. And the game they play against another bullies girl's team. A game they lost.


Where Your Location Is: The location for this story is the baseball field where the baseball game took place. At least I think that's the only location in this story.


Your Main Character: Nate is the main character. But the girls on his baseball team are also a big part of the story. So are the bully girls too.


How They Spoke to Me: There was some dialogue in the first part of this story. And that dialogue looked good to me. But there wasn't any dialogue in the second part - even though it was the same story done twice.


Any Last Thoughts: Was there a reason why you wrote the same story twice? Especially the same story - minus the dialogue in the second part.


I liked your story. But I didn't understand it. Keep on writing.




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705
705
Review of Tim's Persuasions  
Review by PureSciFi
Rated: E | (3.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Hello bmarkus0906,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your eighth year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn't stop until I finished it.


The Story: This story was about a boy named Tim. Who found his best friend Bobby pouring some fizz into the local swimming pool where their father's worked as life guards. After talking Bobby out of it they went swimming before the pool opened.


Where Your Location Is: The location for this story was the local swimming pool that Tim and Bobby's fathers worked at. It was the only location in this story.


Your Main Character: Bobby I think is the main character in this story. Tim is in from beginning to end. And normally I would say he was the main character in this story. But it was Bobby that needed talked out putting fizz into the pool. That's why I think Bobby is the main one.


How They Spoke to Me: There was some dialogue in this story. And what dialogue there was looked good to me.


Any Last Thoughts: I'm not sure but I think you made a few mistakes when it came to punctuation and grammar. You might want to check into that.



I liked your story a lot. Keep on writing.



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706
706
Review of The Hot Summer  
Review by PureSciFi
Rated: E | (3.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Hello rmausar0508,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your eighth years with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot. It kept me interested from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn't stop until I finished it.


The Story: This is a story about a boy named Billy. His age was unknown. But the way he talked I would guess preteen, or is it tween now, and his sister Kelly was a year or two younger. I think that because of them not being able to go to the swimming pool. They needed money - so they opened up a lemonaide stand.


Where Your Location Is: Most of this story took place in the front yard of the family house. But it also took place within the family house too.


Your Main Character: Billy was the main character in this story. But Kelly was a close second. Even their mother had a big part in this story.


How They Spoke to Me: There wasn't any dialogue in this story. At least not physically. But I think there was. It just wasn't done correctly.


Any Last Thoughts: I think I found some mistakes you made when it comes to punctuation and grammar. You might want to check that out.



I liked your story a lot. Keep on writing.




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707
707
Review of THE SWIMMING POOL  
Review by PureSciFi
Rated: E | (3.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Hello wwalter0212,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your eighth year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn't stop reading it until I finished it. Good Job.


The Story: This story is about two boys - John and Justin. Who had only a few minutes left until the school year was over. as soon as it was they headed for the local swimming pool. Where a tragedy happened.


Where Your Location Is: The location of this story was a High School. At least I think it was a High School. But I'm not sure - especially when it comes to the swimming pool. It might have been the local pool.


Your Main Character: John and Justin are the two main characters. But it was mostly Justin because John was afraid of the water. A fear that ended in tragedy.


How They Spoke to Me: There wasn't any dialogue in this story. So I can't comment on that. But there are some Reviewers who might. And at least one Reviewer who considers this story telling instead of showing.


Any Last Thoughts: I think I found a few mistakes in this story when it comes to punctuation and grammar. You might want to check that out.


I liked your story a lot. Keep on writing.




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708
708
Review of The Fizzy Water  
Review by PureSciFi
Rated: E | (2.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Hello ngeorge0019,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your eighth year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading this Short Story. And I did like it. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn't stop until I finished it. Good Job.


The Story: This story was about two friends - Josh and Mason. And the morning they spent at school. Which included a bet and a visit to the school swimming pool.


Where Your Location Is: The location of this story was the school Josh and Mason attended. It was never mentioned, but it looked like it was a high school. It could have been a Junior High, Middle, School. But I've never seen a school other than High School and above with a swimming pool within it - but there could be some in the lower grades too. Probably along the coastline if there are any.


Your Main Character: Josh and Mason, misspelled once, were the main characters in this story. They were both in it from beginning to end. I liked that you gave them names. If a character has a name, I think, it makes them feel more real. At least they do to me.


How They Spoke to Me: There was no dialogue in this story. So I can't comment on that. But there are a few Reviewers who might. And at least one Reviewer who would consider this story telling instead of showing.


Any Last Thoughts: I think you might have made a few mistakes with punctuation and grammar. You might want to check that out.


I liked your story. Keep on writing.




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709
709
Review of SwimingDay  
Review by PureSciFi
Rated: E | (2.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Hello ascott0307,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your eighth year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I'm sorry but I didn't like it very much. Yes, I liked the concept of this story. But it was a little hard to read.


The Story: This story is about a boy named John. Who goes swimming with his friend Bob. There is also mention of a sister and a contest too.


Where Your Location Is: Most of this story takes place at a swimming pool. But some of it involved John's house too.


Your Main Character: John is the main character in this story. He was in it from beginning to end. But Bob was a big part of this story. So was John's sister too a little.


How They Spoke to Me: There was no dialogue in this story. So I can't comment on that. But there are a few Reviewers who might. And at least one Reviewer who considers stories like this telling instead of showing.


Any Last Thoughts: This story was a little confusing to me - especially with all the 'buts' being used. I also think you have a problem with punctuation and grammar too. You might want to check into that. Personally, I would have also broken it up into several paragraphs. It makes a story, I think, easier to read. But that's just how I write.



I'm sorry I have been so hard on your story. Keep on writing.



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710
710
Review by PureSciFi
Rated: E | (2.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Hello kterry1014 ,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your eighth years with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn't stop until I finished it.


The Story: This was a story about a boy named Bob. Who is a Catcher. A Catcher that has a few problems getting started as a Catcher. One of them puts him in General Hospital.


Where Your Location Is: The main location for this story is the baseball field. But the hospital, maybe even Bob's house, is also a location too.


Your Main Character: Bob is the main character in this story. He was in it from beginning to end. I liked that you gave your character a name. If they have a name, I think, they feel more real to me.


How They Spoke to Me: There was a little bit of dialogue in this story. But I don't think you wrote it correctly in your story.


Any Last Thoughts: I think you made a few mistakes when it comes to punctuation and grammar. You might want to check that out.


I liked your story. Keep on writing.




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711
711
Review of The World Series.  
Review by PureSciFi
Rated: E | (2.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Hello dedwards1119,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your eighth year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it. It kept me interested from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn't stop until I finished it.


The Story: This story is about a father and son, I think, watching a Cleveland Indians baseball game together. But most of the story is about that game.


Where Your Location Is: The location for this story is wherever the father and (son) was watching the game at. It was probably the living room. But it was never specified.


Your Main Character: Both the father and his child are the main characters in this story. Personally, I would have given these characters a name. I try to do that with all of my characters - especially my main characters. It makes, I think, the characters feel more real if they have a name. But that's just how I write.


How They Spoke to Me: There is no dialogue in this story. So I can't comment on that. But there are some Reviewers who still might. And a least one Reviewer who considers stories like this telling instead of showing.


Any Last Thoughts: I think you might have made a few mistakes when it comes to spelling. You might want to check that out.



I liked your story. Keep on writing.




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712
712
Review by PureSciFi
Rated: E | (3.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Hello csmith0127,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your eight year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn't stop until I finished reading it. Good Job.


The Story: This is a story about Uriah and Jim. Who are eight grade friends - who decide to go to a local swimming pool. But not to swim. They were troublemakers.


Where Your Location Is: You would think that the swimming pool would be the location for this story. And it is. But most of the story doesn't really have a location. It's about Uriah and Jim.


Your Main Character: Uriah and Jim are both the main characters in this story. They are both in it from the beginning to the end. I really liked that you gave them names.


How They Spoke to Me: There was no dialogue in this story. So I can't comment about your dialogue. But there are some Reviewers that might. And at least one Reviewer who considers this story telling instead of showing. Which is a no-no.


Any Last Thoughts: I think I noticed a few mistakes you made in spelling. You might want to check that out.



I liked your story a lot. Keep on writing.




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713
713
Review of Falling, In Love  
Review by PureSciFi
Rated: E | (3.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Hello Solivagus,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your second year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*



Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn't stop until I finished it. Good Job.


The Story: This story was about a male who saved a female - with the help of his wings. They both tipped off a cliff. And it didn't look too good for either one of them. Then all of a sudden he had wings.


Where Your Location Is: A Cliff was the location for this story. So was the ground they were about to crash into too.


Your Main Character: It sounded to me that a young girl, maybe a little girl, was the main character. But most people would say it's the guy because he's an adult. It doesn't matter to me what age they are. Whoever is in the story the most that's the main character. Personally, I would have given them names too. I try to do that with all of my characters - especially the main ones. It makes the character feel more real, I think, if they have a name. But that is just the way I write.


How They Spoke to Me: There was only one line in this story. But it looked good. At least it looked good to me.


Any Last Thoughts: Knowing the age of the little girl, if it is a girl, would have been nice. Personally, I don't do it when my adult characters as much as I do. But I try to when it comes to the children. Once again that's just how I write.



I liked your story a lot. Keep on writing.



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714
714
Review of The Deadly Affair  
Review by PureSciFi
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Hello Sheila DeLong,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your fourth year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*


Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I like it a lot. It kept me interested from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it. Good Job.


The Story: This story was about a man named John. Who found out that he had HIV thanks to a note left by his dead wife, Sara, after her suicide. He also learned about her affair. Bill also had HIV too – just like Sara and John.


Where Your Location Is: At first I thought the first paragraph or two placed John at the morgue. Even it does, and I’m not sure that it does anymore, most of the story takes place in John and Sara’s house.


Your Main Character: The main character of this story, of course, is John. But Sara and Bill are a big part of it too. I like that you gave all of your character a name. If they have a name, I think, they feel more real. I try to give all of my characters a name – especially my main character. But that’s just how I write.


How They Spoke to Me: There wasn’t a lot of dialogue in this story. But what there was looked good to me.


Any Last Thoughts: I think you did a very good job with this story. What I liked best about it was the two notes left first by Sara then by John.



I liked your story a lot. Keep on writing.





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715
715
Review by PureSciFi
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Hello vagabondsoul,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your tenth year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*


Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it. Good Job.


The Story: This story was about a male, no name given, who was checking out an old house. Why he was checking out that house is still a mystery – no pun intended.


Where Your Location Is: The location for this story is the house. But where that location is unknown.


Your Main Character: He, whoever he is, is the main character. In fact, he’s the only character in this story. Personally, I would have given this person a name. If they have a name, I think, they feel more real. I try to give all of my characters a name – especially the main characters. But that’s just how I write.


How They Spoke to Me: There wasn’t a lot of dialogue in this story. But there was some. And what there was looked good. At least it did to me.


Any Last Thoughts: Personally, I wouldn’t start a paragraph, or a sentence, with the same word over and over again. There has to be at least two paragraphs, or sentences, before I use a word again. But that’s just how I write.



I liked your story a lot. Keep on writing.





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716
716
Review of The Tower  
Review by PureSciFi
Rated: E | (2.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Hello Van Atanasov,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your fifth year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*


Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I did like what I read. But I couldn’t understand it. It didn’t make any sense to me.


The Story: I’m not sure what this story is about. It’s very confusing to me. What is this story about?


Where Your Location Is: It sounds to me that this story takes place outside - all over the planet basically. But you also mention living in the tower too.


Your Main Character: The main character in this story is the narrator. At least I think that’s who it is. If it is I think there should be Quotation Marks around your paragraphs. But that’s just how I write. I’m not sure if it’s a grammar rule or not – but I think it is. Personally, either way I would have given this person a name. I think it makes a character more real if they have a name. But that’s just how I write too. It would help break up all the ‘I’s’ too.


How They Spoke to Me: There was no dialogue in this story. So I can’t comment on it. But there are some Reviewers who might. And at least one Reviewer who considers this telling not show. I’m not like that. In fact, up until recently most, if not all, of my stories was just like this one.


Any Last Thoughts: Personally, I like to space between paragraphs. I think it makes the story easier to read. Also I noticed you used a lot of ‘I’s’ in your story too. Most of them starting a sentence, or paragraph, one after other. I don’t write like that. There has to be at least two other words before I use a word again. That goes for both sentences and paragraphs. But that’s just the way I write.



I did liked your story. Keep on writing.




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717
717
Review by PureSciFi
Rated: E | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Hello rodja,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your tenth year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*


Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it very much. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it. Good Job.


The Story: This story was about a sixteen year old boy named Sam - correctly capitalize. Who had a problem daydreaming. And it got him in trouble more than once. First with his eighteen-year-old sister Sarah. Then at school.


Where Your Location Is: Part of this story takes place at Sam’s house. But most of this story take place at school.


Your Main Character: Sam is the main character, of course, in this story. But his friends are also in this story too. Even Sara and his teacher are too. I liked that you gave all of your characters a name. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have names.


How They Spoke to Me: The dialogue in this story looked good. At least it looked good to me.


Any Last Thoughts: I think you made a few mistakes with this story. The biggest one was capitalization. I capitalized Sam the first time, I think, and Sarah. But not anyone else – including Sam. Punctuation is a problem too I think. So is some spelling too. You might want to check it out.



I liked your story very much. Keep on writing.



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718
718
Review of Sense the Rainbow  
Review by PureSciFi
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hello J. A. Buxton,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your tenth year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*


Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it very much. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it. Good Job.


The Story: This is a story about a woman named Irisa who received a bunch of flowers. And her co-worker Anita who wanted to know who they were from. She figured Irisa sent them to herself. But she didn’t – or did she?


Where Your Location Is: The location for this story was an office. What type of office it was is unknown.


Your Main Character: You had two main characters in this story. Irisa, who got the flowers, and Anita, who wanted to know who sent them. I like it you gave your character names. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have names. Personally, I try to give all of my characters a name. But that’s just how I write.


How They Spoke to Me: There wasn’t a lot of dialogue in this story. But what there was looked good to me.


Any Last Thoughts: I think you did a great job with this story. At least I think you did. Once again – Good Job.



I liked your story very much. Keep on writing.




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719
719
Review by PureSciFi
Rated: E | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*



Hello rubymlake,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you a Anniversary Review. This is your ninth year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*


Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it very much. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started I couldn’t stop until I finished reading it. Good Job.


The Story: At first I thought this was a story about a woman who gave up her child for adoption. And that each day she would be there when they got out of pre-school – even if it meant driving like a crazy woman.


Where Your Location Is: Most the this story took place on the streets of a town. That town was unknown. But there were also a couple of houses in this story too.


Your Main Character: The crazy driver was, of course, the main character in this story. But there was the mother and child too. Even the helpful neighbor was too. Personally, I would have given them all names. I try to do that with all my characters – especially my main character. But that’s just how I write.


How They Spoke to Me: I liked that there was dialogue in this story to comment on. Most writers nowadays want to write in the narrative. And that is fine with me. But there are some Reviewers that it isn’t. And at least one Reviewer that would think it’s telling not showing if there is no dialogue. It would have been easier to read, I think, if you had separated the dialogue into separate paragraph. But that’s just how I write.


Any Last Thoughts: You did a very good job with this story. At least I think you did.



I liked your story very good. Keep on writing.





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Review of The Traitor  
Review by PureSciFi
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*



Hello ss.august,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your seventh year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*


Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it very much. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it. Good Job.


The Story: This was a story about betrayal. He, no name given, knew one of the three Aides was the Traitor. And he knew which one that was.


Where Your Location Is: It was a conference room of some kind? At least I think it was a conference room. That was the main location. But there a couple of more – Tony’s and Robert’s houses. In a way also Dan’s house too.


Your Main Character: He, whoever he was, was the main character. You gave your three Aides names. But your main character didn’t. Was there a reason for that? Personally, I try to give all of my characters a name – especially my main character. I do like that you gave some of your character a name. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have names. But that’s just how I like to write.


How They Spoke to Me: I liked the dialogue in this short story. Most writers are going to the narrative approach. And that’s fine with me. But to some Reviewers it isn’t. And at least one Reviewer thinks this is telling and not showing.


Any Last Thoughts: At first I thought h’ was the, an, editor for the TruthNews Bugle. But by the end of it I realized he was an executive – with a lot of clout. As an editor he might have been able to get a Court Order – but I don’t think he could get an eviction notice. Unless he owned Dan’s residence. If he doesn’t it take clout to get something like that done.



I liked your story very much. Keep on writing.



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721
721
Review by PureSciFi
Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*



Hello gerdk2003,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your twelfth year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*


Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it – what I could understand of it. It kept me interested from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.


The Story: This story was about someone, it sounded like they were from another planet at first, on a train trip. It sounded like it was a train trip in, or near, France – because Paris was mentioned.


Where Your Location Is: Near, or in, Paris is where this story takes place. At least I think it does. Several other towns were mentioned though.


Your Main Character: I’m not exactly sure who the main character is in this story. It does sound like it’s the someone who may or may not be from another planet. Personally, I would have given this person, all involved, a name. I try to do that with all of my characters – especially the main one. If a person has a name, I think, they feel more real. But that’s just how I write.


How They Spoke to Me: There was no dialogue in this story. So I can’t comment on that. But there are some Reviewers who might. And at least one Reviewer who thinks that this story is telling instead of showing. I’m not one of them. In fact, up until recently most, if not all, of my stories were just like this one.


Any Last Thoughts: Personally, I would have split this one long paragraph into several paragraphs. I had a lot of trouble reading this story. Separating it into separate paragraph probably would have made it easier to read.



I did liked your story. Keep on writing.




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722
722
Review by PureSciFi
Rated: E | (3.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Hello tcox0710,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your eighth year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*


Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. I liked it a lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I got started I couldn’t stop reading it until I finished it. Good Job.


The Story: This was a story about what sounds like a young boy, or is it a girl, who watches a Halloween marathon with their father and brother Steve. The scariest moment was when Steve tried to scare them the next day. But it turned out not to be scary after all.


Where Your Location Is: The location for this story is wherever the television was at – probably the living room. Where the house is at is unknown too.


Your Main Character: Who is the main character in this story? Most would say it’s the father because he’s the adult. But I’m not one of them. It doesn’t matter to me how old someone is it’s who is in the story the most. Personally, I would have given all of them names - instead of just Steve. I try to give all of my characters a name. It makes them more real to me if they have a name. But that’s just how I write.


How They Spoke to Me: There wasn’t any dialogue in this story. So I can’t comment on it. But there some Reviewers who might. And at least one Reviewer who considers this telling instead of showing. Which is a no-no. I’m not one of them. In fact, up until recently most, if not all, of my stories were just like this one.


Any Last Thoughts: How old was your main character? What was their gender? The reason why I asks these questions is because I think you made some mistakes when it comes to punctuation, spacing between sentences and spelling. You might want to check into that.



I liked your story a lot. Keep on writing.






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723
723
Review by PureSciFi
Rated: E | (3.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Hello umitchell1221,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your eighth year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*


Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot. It kept me interest in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.


The Story: This is a story about two young girls named Rosy and Kim. Who wanted to skate like their idol Uriah Mitchell. But instead of four wheelers they had roller skates.


Where Your Location Is: I’m not sure where the roller skating took place. But it sounded like it was a park - maybe a street.


Your Main Character: I liked that you gave your three main characters names. Personally, I think giving someone a name makes them feel more real. That how I write my stories. I try to give all of my character names.


How They Spoke to Me: There wasn’t any dialogue in this story. So I can’t comment on that. But there are some Reviewer who might. And at least one Reviewer who considers this telling not showing. Which is a no-no. I’m not one of them. In fact, up until recently most, if not all, of my stories were just like this one.


Any Last Thoughts: I’m not sure, but I think you made some mistakes in your story with capitalization and spelling. You might want to check that out.



I liked your story a lot. Keep on writing.





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724
724
Review by PureSciFi
Rated: E | (3.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Hello lwilliams1110,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your eighth year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*


Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot. It kept me interested it in from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I was finished.


The Story: This was a story about a boy named Shawn. Who after working all day in the yard decided to go swimming at the local swimming pool. But when it got there he discovered the pool was being cleaned.


Where Your Location Is: The first location was Shawn’s yard. Then it was the High School swimming pool. Both of them in Euclid Ohio.


Your Main Character: Of course, the main character in this story is the main character. But the one cleaning the pool is also a big part of this story too. Personally, I would have given the pool cleaner a name too. I try to give all of my characters a name. It makes them feel more real to me. But that’s just how I write my stories.


How They Spoke to Me: There’s no dialogue in this story. So I can’t comment on that. But there are some Reviewers who might. And at least one Reviewer who considers this telling instead of showing. Which is a no-no. I’m not one of them. In fact, up until recently most, if not all, of my stories where just like this one.


Any Last Thoughts: I think you made a few mistakes when it comes to your spelling. You might want to check into that.



I liked your story a lot. Keep on writing.





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725
725
Review of No Escape  
Review by PureSciFi
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Hello gary,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your fifth year with us. *Smile* Happy Anniversary *Smile*


Now for the good stuff:  The Review.



Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it very much. It kept me interested from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it. Good Job.


The Story: This story was a cop, or a fed – maybe even a civilian, who went undercover. And it was war related. But exactly what she was undercover about isn’t known. Whatever it was it ended up getting her killed.


Where Your Location Is: The location for this story is an ancient city. But which ancient city wasn’t mentioned.


Your Main Character: Whoever this woman is was the man character in this story. Personally, I would have given this person a name. I try to give all of my characters a name – especially my main character(s). It makes them feel more real to me. But that’s just how I write.


How They Spoke to Me: There was no dialogue in this story. So I can’t comment on it. But there are some Reviewers who might. And at least one Reviewer who considers this telling and not showing. I’m not one of them. In fact, up until recently most, if not all, of my stories where just like this one.


Any Last Thoughts: I think you did a very good job with this story. At least it looks good to me.



I liked your story very much. Keep on writing.




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