I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your fifth year with us. Happy Anniversary
Now for the good stuff: The Review.
Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it. But I am a little bit confused by it too.
The Story: This is the story about a woman who would do or say anything to get the man she loves. And that includes claiming a baby is his when it isn’t.
Where Your Location Is: I’m not exactly sure where the location is with this story – because there isn’t a location mentioned. Personally, I try to include at least one location in all of my stories. It depends on what my Word Count Limitations are as to how much detail goes into that location. Sometimes it’s just the location itself. But usually it a little bit more than that.
Your Main Character: The couple are the main characters in this story. Personally, I would have given them names. I try to do that with all of my characters – especially the main one. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name. But that’s just the way I write my stories.
How They Spoke to Me: According to the Dialogue 500 Contest all of this story is supposed to be Dialogue only. But
It sure doesn’t look like it. At least not the way I was taught how to write dialogue. I have been entering this Contest for the last few months. So I know how most people who enter is now. Has it changed since you entered this one?
Any Last Thoughts: I’m curious about something. What was the Prompt for this Contest?
I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your third year with us. Happy Anniversary
Now for the good stuff: The Review.
Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.
The Story: This is a story about a man named Mr. Roster. Who gives new meaning to the word eccentric.
Where Your Location Is: Richards Avenue aka Death’s Cradle is the location in this story. Where exactly Richards Avenue is it’s unknown.
Your Main Character: Mr. Roster is the main character in this story. But whoever it telling this story I think is the main one. I liked that you gave him a name. But what about the narrator. Personally, I would have given them a name too. I try to do that with all of my characters – especially the main ones. It makes a character more real, I think, if they have a name.
How They Spoke to Me: There was no dialogue in this story. So I can’t comment on that. But there are some Reviewers who might. And at least Reviewer who would consider this telling instead of showing.
Any Last Thoughts: Personally, I would have separated the two paragraphs with a space. But I don’t think it’s a grammar rule that you should do it. It’s just how I write my stories.
I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your seventh year with us. Happy Anniversary
Now for the good stuff: The Review.
Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it very much. It kept me interested on it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it. Good Job.
The Story: This is a story about a female named Judy. Who used some magical powers to save the love of her life from Ninjas.
Where Your Location Is: One of the locations in this story was a Ball. But it sounded like there were at least one more. Where that this Ball was at is unknown.
Your Main Character: Judy is the main character in this story. But Jonny is close behind. Even the Ninjas are a big part of this story. I like that you gave them names. Personally, I try to give all of my characters a name – especially the main ones. It makes a character feel more real, I think, if they have names.
How They Spoke to Me: There wasn’t a lot of dialogue in this story. But for this size of a story it’s about the right amount. And why dialogue there is looked pretty good to me.
Any Last Thoughts: Personally, I would have split this paragraph up into several paragraphs – especially the dialogue one. I’m not sure if it’s a grammar rule or not. But even if it isn’t I think it’s easier to read a story if it is.
I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your fifth year with us. Happy Anniversary
Now for the good stuff: The Review.
Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked the concept of it. But the way you dealt with that concept was a little hard to understand.
The Story: The is a story about Duke Paris who has two sister. A Duke who is about to be a Ruler after his father is murdered.
Where Your Location Is: I’m not sure where, or when, this story takes place. Personally, I would have given this story at least one location. I try to do that will all of my stories. It depends on my Word Count Limits as to how much detail goes into my story. Sometimes it’s just the location itself. But usually there’s there a little bit more than that.
Your Main Character: Duke Paris is the main character in this story. But his two sister and parents are a big part of this story too.
How They Spoke to Me: There was no dialogue in this story. So I can’t comment on that. But there are some Reviewers who might. And at least one Reviewer who would consider this telling instead of showing.
Any Last Thoughts: I think you have made a few mistakes when it comes to spelling and missing apostrophes from contractions. You might want to check into that.
I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your eighth year with us. Happy Anniversary
Now for the good stuff: The Review.
Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And liked it. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.
The Story: This story was about a boy, I think it was a boy, thinking about playing in their neighborhood. Which tells me they are still very young.
Where Your Location Is: The streets in which they live are the location for this story. Exactly where those streets are at is unknown.
Your Main Character: Whoever is thinking this is the main character, the only one, in this story. Personally, I would have given them a name - and an age too. I try to do that with all of my characters – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name. But that’s just the way that I write.
How They Spoke to Me: There wasn’t any dialogue in this story – unless it’s one big thought. But there are a few Reviewers who might. And at least one Reviewer who would consider this telling instead of showing.
Any Last Thoughts: This sounds like it’s a thought to me. If it is then according to at least one Contest Judge you should have put a single quotation mark around it.
I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your eighth year with us. Happy Anniversary
Now for the good stuff: The Review.
Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot. It’s was very short. But it kept my interest in from beginning to end. Good job.
The Story: This is a story about the last minute of
A football game. A game they have just lost.
Where Your Location Is: The location for this story is a football field. Where this football field is at is unknown.
Your Main Character: Ricky is the main, and really only, character in this story. The rest of the team is a part of this story too. But they aren’t mentioned except as a team.
How They Spoke to Me: There is no dialogue in this story. So I can’t comment on that. But there are some Reviewers who might. And at least one Reviewer who would consider this telling instead of showing.
Any Last Thoughts: I think you did a real good job with this story. But I think this review is longer than your story.
I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your fifth year with us. Happy Anniversary
Now for the good stuff: The Review.
Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it - what there was of it. But it looked more like the beginning of a longer story.
The Story: This is a story about a teenage boy named Steven. Who is looking at a teenage girl named Susan, who isn’t named in the story itself.
Where Your Location Is: I’m not sure where the location is for this story is at. But from the sound of it the location is outside somewhere.
Your Main Character: Steven is the main character in this story. But so is Susan. I’m glad you gave them both names. At least you did in the title description for Susan.
How They Spoke to Me: There was no dialogue in this story. So I can’t comment on that. But there are some Reviewers who might. And at least one Reviewer who considers this telling instead of showing.
Any Last Thoughts: I think you did a good job with this story. But I think this review is longer than that story.
I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your third year with us. Happy Anniversary
Now for the good stuff: The Review.
Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.
The Story: This is a story about someone who has returned to the home she grew up in. But they are afraid to get out of their car.
Where Your Location Is: The street in front of the house they grew up in is the location for this story. Where exactly that house is at is unknown.
Your Main Character: Whoever is at that old house is the main, and only, character in this story. Personally, I would have given this person a name. I try to give all of my characters a name – especially my main ones. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name. But that’s just the way that I write.
How They Spoke to Me: There was no dialogue in this story. So I can’t comment on that. But there are some Reviewers who might. And at least one Reviewer who considers this telling instead of showing.
Any Last Thoughts: I think you made a spelling error or two in this story. You might want to look into that.
I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your tenth year with us. Happy Anniversary
Now for the good stuff: The Review.
Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.
The Story: This is a story a female that has changed moods. She used to be good but now she’s bad. But she isn’t bad as in evil. It also about a man, I think, who wants her back to her old self.
Where Your Location Is: There is no location in this story. Personally, I try to have at least one setting in my stories. It depends on what the Word Count Limit is as to how much detail I put into it. Sometimes it’s just the location itself. But usually I write something.
Your Main Character: The female is probably the main character in this story. But it could be whoever is narrating this story is. Personally, I would have given them names. I try to do that with all of my characters - especially the main ones. It makes them more real, I think, if they have names. But that’s just how I write.
How They Spoke to Me: There’s no dialogue in this story. So I can’t comment on that. But there are some Reviewers who might. And at least one Reviewer who would consider this telling instead of showing.
Any Last Thoughts: I think you did a good job with this story. The only thing that I think might have made it better is if you split up this one paragraph into two or three.
I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your fifth year with us. Happy Anniversary
Now for the good stuff: The Review.
Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot. It kept me interested from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.
The Story: This a story about a family who are on their way home from a campout. It consisted of a father and three boys. At least I think they are all boys.
Where Your Location Is: The location for this story is the car they are in. And the road they are traveling on.
Your Main Character: Whoever is telling this story is the main character in it. But so are the father and the other children. Personally, I would have given the whole family a name. I try to do that will all of my characters – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name. But that’s just the way that I write.
How They Spoke to Me: There was a lot of dialogue in this story. And what dialogue there was looked good to me.
Any Last Thoughts: Was there a reason why you split this up into two parts. Is this part of a Novel? It kind of looks like it is. But it’s categorized as a Short Story. If it isn’t part of a Novel you might want to consider turning it into one.
I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your fifth year with us. Happy Anniversary
Now for the good stuff: The Review.
Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.
The Story: This is a story about a boy named Cody and his friend Johnny. Who are at a very weird summer camp. At least I think it’s a summer camp or youth camp. But it was definitely a camp of some kind.
Where Your Location Is: The camp is the location of this story. And all the weird stuff that’s happening within it.
Your Main Character: Cody is the main character in this story. But Johnny, and even Sally, is right behind him. I like that you gave your character’s names. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name.
How They Spoke to Me: There wasn’t a lot of dialogue in this story. But what there was looked good to me. I do think there was a lot of thinking going on in this story. At least it looked like there was to me. And if there was it should have been surrounded by single quotation marks – according to at least one Contest Judge.
Any Last Thoughts: I’m not sure but it looks like you might have mixed your Tenses a little. Most of it was Present Tense. But toward the end I noticed a few Past Tenses. You might want to check into that. Also, I don’t think you need that much white space between paragraphs. I don’t think it’s a grammar rule. But even if it isn’t it’s a little bit hard to read if there is more than one space between paragraphs.
I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your sixth year with us. Happy Anniversary
Now for the good stuff: The Review.
Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.
The Story: This is a story about a young man, name unknown, who after wandering for days in a mist finally relaxed. While relaxing he heard a song of sorrow. When he followed it he found sorrow too – for himself.
Where Your Location Is: I’m not exactly sure where the mist is at. I know it’s from a cemetery at the end of the story. And a spring near the tree he found to rest. But not where the mist was at.
Your Main Character: The young man in this story is the main, and pretty much the only, character in this story. Personally, I would have given this man a name. I try to do that with all of my characters – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have names. But that’s just the way I write.
How They Spoke to Me: There was no dialogue in this story. So I can’t comment on that. But there are some Reviewers who might. And at least one Reviewer who considers this telling instead of showing.
Any Last Thoughts: I’m not sure but I think you might have made a punctuation and spelling errors – especially in that first paragraph. You might want to check that out. Personally, I would have separated the two paragraphs a little bit more too. I think it makes a story easier to read that way. But that’s just the way I write.
I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your ninth year with us. Happy Anniversary
Now for the good stuff: The Review.
Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.
The Story: This is a story about the death of a mother. And of a young girl who had to witness it – sort of. The age of the girl would have been nice. That’s probably what I would have done. But it’s not necessary for this story.
Where Your Location Is: The first location for this story was probably a house. But it could be an apartment, duplex etc. too. And the second one was the funeral.
Your Main Character: Sanya was the main character, pretty much the only one, in this story. But her mother was also a big part of this story too. Personally, I would have given this mother a name. I try to do that with all of my characters. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name. But that’s just the way I write.
How They Spoke to Me: There was only the one line of dialogue in this story. And what I there was looked good to me. But I think you might have made a mistake in punctuation though. According to at least one Contest Judge it should be single quotation marks, instead of doubles, around thought.
Any Last Thoughts: Personally, I would have separated the paragraphs with a space. I don’t think it’s a grammar rule. But even if it isn’t I think it makes a story easier to read it they are.
I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your eleventh year with us. Happy Anniversary
Now for the good stuff: The Review.
Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to the end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.
The Story: This is the story about a person, I think a young male – but I’m not sure, who hears noises. And after checking with their brother and parents learned they did hear something. It was a bad ghost. A ghost that was trying to kill him – reason unknown. And a Guardian Angel who saved them.
Where Your Location Is: The main location for this story was a house – mostly their bedroom. Their brother’s bedroom and the living room was also involved too.
Your Main Character: Whoever is narrating this story is the main character in it. Personally, I would have given this person, all of them probably, a name. I try to do that with all of my characters – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name. And in this story it could have also indicated gender too.
How They Spoke to Me: There was only the one line of dialogue in this story – unless you count the thought. Which I do. But most don’t. I do think you made a mistake on the thought though. According to at least one Contest Judge you should single quotation marks, instead of doubles, with thoughts.
Any Last Thoughts: Personally, I would have ‘spaced’ between paragraphs. And would have separated the dialogues into their own paragraphs. I don’t think that it’s a grammar rule if you don’t. But even if it isn’t I think a story is a lot easier to read if you do.
I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your fourteen year with us. Happy Anniversary
Now for the good stuff: The Review.
Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short story. And I liked it a lot. It kept me interested in it form beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.
The Story: The is a story about a hunting trip gone bad. At least it looked pretty bad. But as I read on it ended up being a good day after all.
Where Your Location Is: I’m not exactly sure where the location for this story was. But it sounds like a wooded area somewhere – but where? That’s another unknown.
Your Main Character: It looks like there are at least two main characters in this story. Personally, I would have given them names. I try to do that will all of my characters – especially the main one. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have names. But that’s just the way I write.
How They Spoke to Me: There wasn’t a lot of dialogue in this story. But there was some. And what there was looked pretty good to me.
Any Last Thoughts: I think you did a very good job with this story. A very good job.
I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your second year with us. Happy Anniversary
Now for the good stuff: The Review.
Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot – especially the ending. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.
The Story: This is a story about Peter Pan. The true story about what really happened to Wendy, Michael and John.
Where Your Location Is: It’s the kids bedroom. Before and after Peter Pan showed up.
Your Main Character: Peter Pan is, of course, the main character in this story. But Wendy, Michael and John are a close second.
How They Spoke to Me: I think you did a real good job with the dialogue here. At least it looks good to me.
Any Last Thoughts: I’m a little curious about something. What was the ‘prompt’ for this contest? And which contest is it for? Is it for the Daily Flash Fiction Challenge? The reason why I ask is because I have been pretty heavily involved with that contest the last couple of months.
I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your fifth year with us. Happy Anniversary
Now for the good stuff: The Review.
Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.
The Story: This story was about a female, name unknown, and the lived around her. After all, in the end I found out she was dead.
Where Your Location Is: A bedroom is the main, and only, location for this story. And it’s described in great detail. I like that.
Your Main Character: The woman in the bedroom is the main, and once again the only, character in this story. And she is only there in body. Personally, I would have given her a name. I try to do that with all of my characters – especially the main one. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name. But that’s just the way that I write.
How They Spoke to Me: There is no dialogue in this story. Which isn’t a big surprise to me considering how this story ends. But there are some Reviewers who might say something about it. And at least one Reviewer who considers this telling instead of showing.
Any Last Thoughts: Personally, I would have split this story up into several paragraphs. I don’t think there are any grammar rule that says you should. But I think it makes a story easier to read if you do.
I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your ninth year with us. Happy Anniversary
Now for the good stuff: The Review.
Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.
The Story: This the story about a convict who killed six people. At first I thought it was about one of his victim’s relative or friend. But by the end of it I figured it was the convict. Am I right?
Where Your Location Is: The location for this story is Death Row. What city and state this Death Row is in is unknown. Personally, I try to give all of my stories at least one location. It depends on what my Word Count Limit is as to how much detail I give to them.
Your Main Character: Of course, it’s the convict who is the main character in this story. Personally, I would have given this character a name – probably at the end to keep the true nature of this story a mystery until the end. I try to do that with all of my stories – especially the main character. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name. But that’s just the way that I write.
How They Spoke to Me: There was no dialogue in this story. So I can’t comment on it. But there are some Reviewers who might. And at least one Reviewer who would consider this story telling instead of showing.
Any Last Thoughts: Personally, I would have split this one paragraph into several. I don’t think it’s a grammar rule. But even if it isn’t I think it makes a story easier to read if it separated into individual paragraphs.
I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your sixth year with us. Happy Anniversary
Now for the good stuff: The Review.
Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.
The Story: The is the story about a woman, name unknown, who is grieving for her husband. Who died and left her alone with a son he never knew he had.
Where Your Location Is: It sounds to me like the location of this story is the Traveling Names of Remembrance. I think that’s what it’s called. Or something like it.
Your Main Character: Of course, it’s the woman in sorrow that is the main character in this story. Personally, I would have given her a name – her husband and son too. I try to do that with all of my characters – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name. But that’s just the way I write.
How They Spoke to Me: There was no dialogue in this story – unless it’s one big thought then each part needs a single quotation mark around it. So I can’t comment on that. But there are a few Reviewers who might. And at least one Reviewer who would consider this telling instead of showing.
Any Last Thoughts: Your title is great. But I probably would have titled it: “Why’d you have to die?” because it is repeated throughout the story. Which might be another problem with this story. There are some Contest Judges who consider repetition a no-no.
I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your first year with us. Happy Anniversary
Now for the good stuff: The Review.
Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I like it a lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.
The Story: This is a story about a man named Steven. Who is about to die. And what happens to him when he does.
Where Your Location Is: Afghanistan is the location for this story. It was Steven’s second, and final, deployment to Afghanistan to be exact.
Your Main Character: Steven was of course the main character in this story. He was in it from beginning to The End – sort of. Lance Corporal Bryant was Steven’s best friend. And he was mentioned too. But he was only mentioned in passing I think. I do like that you gave your characters a name. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have names.
How They Spoke to Me: There wasn’t a lot of dialogue in this story. But what there was looked good to me.
Any Last Thoughts: I think you did a very good job with this story. Good Job.
I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your fourth year with us. Happy Anniversary
Now for the good stuff: The Review.
Overall Impression: I just finished reading your short Story. And I like it a whole lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I was finished.
The Story: The is a story about a certain General who couldn’t hold it. And the result of him having to use a Porta-John was at the very least embarrassing. An embarrassment that lived for years to come.
Where Your Location Is: I’m not exactly sure where this story takes place. But it is a military base of some kind.’
Your Main Character: The gentleman, no name given, in question is the main character in this story. There were others but their names weren’t given either. Personally, I would have given them names. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have names. But that’s just the way I write.
How They Spoke to Me: There wasn’t any dialogue in this story. So I can’t comment on that. But there are a few Reviewers who might. And there is at least one who considers this telling instead of showing.
Any Last Thoughts: I think you did a good job with this story. What I think is the best part is the ending.
I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your twelfth year with us. Happy Anniversary
Now for the good stuff: The Review.
Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it very much. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.
The Story: This is a story about G. I. Joe. Who had a date with Barbie. A date that got interrupted by Ken. I’m surprised Barbie even went out with Joe. Unless she did it to make Ken jealous. Or her father mad.
Where Your Location Is: My Little Pony Ranch was the ultimate location for this story. But it all started at Barbie’s beach house.
Your Main Character: G.I. Joe was the main character in this story. But Barbie was close behind him. And Ken was a distant, almost non-existent, third.
How They Spoke to Me: There was a lot of dialogue in this story. And what dialogue there was looked pretty good to me.
Any Last Thoughts: I think you did a great job with this story. Have you done any more like it?
I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your seventh year with us. Happy Anniversary
Now for the good stuff: The Review.
Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.
The Story: This story was about a military man, even though it wasn’t ever specified as such, who was in charge of fueling of the aircraft. At least he was until he was killed.
Where Your Location Is: The location for this story was the hangar where the main character worked. Exactly where that might be is unknown.
Your Main Character: Whoever is telling this story is the main character. But the female he kept debating himself whether she loved him, and vice versa, was also a big part of this story – if nothing more than in his thoughts. Personally, I would have given them names. I try to do that with all of my characters – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have names. But that’s just the way that I write.
How They Spoke to Me: There wasn’t a lot of dialogue in this story. But what there was looked good to me – except for the first one. It looked more like a thought to me. And if it was then you should have single quotation marks around it according to at least one contest judge.
Any Last Thoughts: I think you did a very good job with this story. And I especially like your ending.
I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your fourth year with us. Happy Anniversary
Now for the good stuff: The Review.
Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.
The Story: This was a story about a crazy First Captain. After all, he believed a rock was alive. And on this planet it isn’t. If it’s set on another planet, then it might be.
Where Your Location Is: I’m not exactly sure where this story takes place. It’s probably Earth. But it might not be because the one of the main characters in this story is called a First Captain. That sounds Science Fiction to me.
Your Main Character: The First Captain is the crazy main character. But whoever he is talking to is also a main character too. Personally, I would have given them names. I try to do that with all of my characters – especially the main one. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name. But that’s just the way I write.
How They Spoke to Me: There was a lot of dialogue in this story. What dialogue there was looked good to me – except for maybe the spacing.
Any Last Thoughts: I think I found a couple of things that might be wrong with this story. First of all, I think you need to separate it into several paragraphs – especially when it comes to the dialogue. I’m not sure if it a grammar rule or not. But I think it’s a lot easier to read if you do. Another one is your repetition. You did that a lot. You said something. Then you repeated it with dialogue. Mostly word for word. And according to some Contest judges that’s a big no-no.
I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your fifth years with us. Happy Anniversary
Now for the good stuff: The Review.
Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn't stop until I finished it.
The Story: This was a story about an Angel who lived in a house aka the title for this story. At least she did live in that house.
Where Your Location Is: The house is where the main location for this story. But where this house is at is unknown.
Your Main Character: I think that the Angel is the main character in the story. There was some mention of the family in the home. But they weren't advanced any further. Personally, I would have given the Angel a name. I try to do that with all of my characters - especially my main ones. It makes the character feel more real, I think, if they have names. But that's just the way I write.
How They Spoke to Me: There is no dialogue in this story. So I can't comment on the dialogue in this story. But there are a some Reviewers who might. And at least one Reviewer who considers this telling instead of showing.
Any Last Thoughts: Did you expand on this story? I think you have a good idea here. And it would make a good Short Story if you expand on it.
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Happy Anniversary ![An image donated by [Link To User legerdemain] for use with Anniversary Reviews.](https://www.writing.com/main/images/action/display/ver/1623517947/item_id/1893183.jpg "Anniversary Reviews Image 3 [#1893183]
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My review has been submitted for consideration in "![A new Anniversary Review signature to use, courtesy of [Link To User legerdemain]](https://www.writing.com/main/images/action/display/ver/1349548281/item_id/1893180.jpg "Anniversary Reviews Image1 [#1893180]
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![An image donated by [Link To User legerdemain] for use with Anniversary Reviews](https://www.writing.com/main/images/action/display/ver/1349548258/item_id/1893181.jpg "Anniversary Reviews Image2 [#1893181]
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's Mara!!,