PureSciFi's (spacefaction) Reviews

PureSciFi

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1,439 Public Reviews Given

1,439 Total Reviews Given

576

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#4182567

Review of As time goes by

Review by PureSciFi

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (3.0)

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#1300305 by Maryann

"Superpower Reviewers HUB"

Hello Leo,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your sixth year with us. Happy Anniversary

Now for the good stuff: The Review.

Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.

The Story: This is the story about a little boy who by the age of seven got abused both emotionally and physically. And it only got worse when he came from Puru, the proper way to write it, to the States,

Where Your Location Is: His house in Puru and the States are where he had to endure this abuse. Exactly where in the States really wasn’t explained.

Your Main Character: Whoever this boy is he’s the main character in this story. But unfortunately so is his father – and even his mother a little. Personally, I would have given them all names. I try to do that with all of my characters – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name. But that’s just how I write my stories.

How They Spoke to Me: There was only that one line of dialogue in this story. And it looked good. At least it did to me.

Any Last Thoughts: I think you made a mistake not capitalizing some of the letter “I.’ Personally, I would have separated the first paragraphs into two, three, maybe even four paragraphs - especially with the dialogue. Also I would have separated the paragraphs with a Space too.

I liked your story a lot. Keep on writing.

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577

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#4182563

Review of In the pursuit of passion

Review by PureSciFi

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 18+

| (3.5)

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#1300305 by Maryann

"Superpower Reviewers HUB"

Hello serdinian,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your fifth year with us. Happy Anniversary

Now for the good stuff: The Review.

Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a whole lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.

The Story: This the story about a couple who take on a sexual challenge - and lost. It’s seen through the eyes of the female. But the male is in it too – especially at the end of it.

Where Your Location Is: A house is where it all ended. But there were some other locations in this story too. I’m just not sure where they were.

Your Main Character: Sabrina and Michael, aka Mikey, are the main, and only, characters in this story. I like that you gave them names. Personally, I try to give all of my characters a name – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real, if they have names. But that’s just the way that I write my stories.

How They Spoke to Me: I’m a little confused about the dialogue in this story. Some of it is like I’m used to seeing – except it starts off with a subtext Quotation Mark. Is this because of the country you are from. Maybe it’s the writing program you use.

Any Last Thoughts: I think you might have made a few mistakes when it comes to the letter ‘I.’ Some of them were capitalized. But some weren’t. You might want to check into that. Also you used adult language in this story that I have never seen before in any of these Erotica stories before. It looks more like x-rated than Erotica. Which I don’t mind. But some might.

I liked your story a whole lot. Keep on writing.

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578

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#4182333

Review of Sensual Rain

Review by PureSciFi

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 18+

| (2.5)

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#1300305 by Maryann

"Superpower Reviewers HUB"

Hello Ski -ster,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your ninth year with us. Happy Anniversary

Now for the good stuff: The Review.

Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it. But it was a little confusing to me. At first it thought it was a modern day, no rhyme, poem. But it wasn’t. Was it?

The Story: This is a story about a close encounter on a street between a couple. At least I thinks that’s what this story is about.

Where Your Location Is: The location for this story is a street in front of her building. Personally, I try to have at least one location in all of my stories. It depends on the Word Count Limitations as to how much detail I put into it. Sometimes it’s just the location itself. But usually it’s a little bit, if not a lot, more than that.

Your Main Character: Whoever is telling this story is the one who is the main character. Personally I would have given them a name. I try to do that with all of my characters – especially my main ones. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name. But that’s just the way that I write my stories.

How They Spoke to Me: There was no dialogue in this story. So I can’t comment on that. But there are a few Reviewers who might. And at least one Reviewer who would consider this telling instead of showing.

Any Last Thoughts: This was an unusual way to write a story. That’s why I thought it was a poem at first. Is this the way you write all of your stories?

I liked your story. Keep on writing.

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579

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#4182319

Review of Love of the Immortal

Review by PureSciFi

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 18+

| (3.0)

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#1300305 by Maryann

"Superpower Reviewers HUB"

Hello ThinkOutLoud,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your ninth year with us. Happy Anniversary

Now for the good stuff: The Review.

Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.

The Story: This is a story about a male vampire and a female non-vampire. At least she’s not a vampire at the beginning of the story.

Where Your Location Is: I’m not sure where the location for this story takes place. It’s never mentioned – the time period too. Personally, I try to give all of my stories at least one location. It depends on my Word Count Limitations as to how much detail I put into it. Sometimes it’s just the location itself. But usually it’s a little bit, if not a lot, more than that.

Your Main Character: Whoever is telling this story is the main character in it. Personally, I would have given them names. I try to do that with all of my characters – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name. But that’s just the way that I write my stories.

How They Spoke to Me: There was no dialogue in this story. So I can’t comment on that. But there are some Reviewers who might. And at least one Reviewer who would consider this telling instead of showing.

Any Last Thoughts: Personally, I would have put a space between paragraphs. I don’t think that it’s a grammar rule that you do. But even if it isn’t I think it makes it easier to read if it is. Personally, I would have broken up that second paragraph into three or four separate paragraphs. But that’s just the way that I write my stories.

I liked your story a lot. Keep on writing.

A new Anniversary Review signature to use, courtesy of [Link To User legerdemain]

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580

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#4182318

Review of UNKNOWN

Review by PureSciFi

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (3.0)

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#1300305 by Maryann

"Superpower Reviewers HUB"

Hello jazzmania,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your eighth year with us. Happy Anniversary

Now for the good stuff: The Review.

Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short story. And I like it a lot. But it was a little bit confusing to me. I didn’t understand most of it. Normally, I would have said it’s too sophisticated for me. But I don’t think that’s the right word to use with this story.

The Story: I’m not exactly sure what this story was about. But it sounds like it might be an end-to-a-life story.

Where Your Location Is: The location to this story is unknown to me. Personally, I try to have at least one location in all of my stories. It depends on what my Word Count Limitations are as to how much detail I put into it. Sometimes it’s just the location itself. But usually it’s a little bit, if not a lot, more than that. That’s just the way I write my stories though.

Your Main Character: Whoever is telling this story is the main character in it. Personally, I would have given this person a name. I try to do that with all of my characters – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name. But that’s just the way I write my stories.

How They Spoke to Me: There wasn’t a lot of dialogue in this story. But what dialogue there was looked good. At least it did to me.

Any Last Thoughts: Personally, I would have spaced between paragraphs. I don’t think it’s a grammar rule that you should or are supposed to. But I think it’s easier to read a story if you do.

I liked your story a lot. Keep on writing.

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581

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#4182316

Review of Powers of Thought, Where Could You Go?

Review by PureSciFi

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (3.0)

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#1300305 by Maryann

"Superpower Reviewers HUB"

Hello Waldecam,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your second year too with us. Happy Anniversary

Now for the good stuff: The Review.

Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.

The Story: This is a story about a female who discovers she is different from other kids her age. What that age is never got mentioned. But it sounded like she was probably in her early to mid-teens.

Where Your Location Is: The main location for this story is her back yard. At least it is for a major part of it. Because of her uniqueness the sky is also a setting for this story too.

Your Main Character: Whoever is telling this story is the main character of this story. Personally, I would have given her a name. I try to do that with all of my characters – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name. But that’s just the way that I write my stories.

How They Spoke to Me: There was no dialogue in this story. So I can’t comment on that. But there are some reviewers who might. And at least one Reviewer who would consider this telling instead of showing.

Any Last Thoughts: Personally, I would have separated the paragraphs with a Space. I don’t think it’s a grammar rule. But even if it isn’t I think a story is easier to read if they are.

I liked your story a lot. Keep on writing.

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582

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#4182314

Review of MISSION EARTH - 2

Review by PureSciFi

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: ASR

| (3.0)

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#1300305 by Maryann

"Superpower Reviewers HUB"

Hello Beck Go NaNo Team Pink!,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your eighth year with us. Happy Anniversary

Now for the good stuff: The Review.

Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.

The Story: This is a story about a male, at least I think it’s a male – no names given, who is sent to Earth to evaluate it for possible colonization – even though they don’t call it that that’s what it is. What he sees there is the guts of this story.

Where Your Location Is: Earth is the main location for this story. But when is another thing. It sounds to me like it’s the distant, hopefully the distant, future. But it could have been in the past too.

Your Main Character: Whoever is telling this story is the main character in it. Personally, I would have given this person a name. I try to do that with all of my characters – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name. But that’s just the way that I write my stories.

How They Spoke to Me: There was no dialogue in this story. So I can’t comment on that. But there are some Reviewers who might. And at least one Reviewer who would consider this telling instead of showing.

Any Last Thoughts: Who are the Cyndys and the Rexes? That would have been nice to know.

I liked your story a lot. Keep on writing.

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583

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#4182155

Review of WDC Power Raid Shamrock sig

Review by PureSciFi

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Another Raid review - I hope.

I do like this Sig. But I don't like it as much as I do the others I have reviewed today. It appears to be a bunch of three leaf clovers. They are even green like leaves too. But they look a little different too. And what bout those white areas. Are they pollen? If so are they heading for the clovers? Or way from it. It looks like they are headed for it.

584

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#4182136

Review of Power Raid Sig

Review by PureSciFi

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

I don't know if this qualifies as a proper review for today's Raid. But I hope it is.

This Sig I really like - especially the white spititual dragon that is about to attack her. She is looking up toward it. So maybe she is aware of the attack. With her arrows on her back she might even be ready to fight back too. A fight she might even be able to win.

585

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#4181921

Review of Kitchen Duty

Review by PureSciFi

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: ASR

| (3.0)

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#1300305 by Maryann

"Superpower Reviewers HUB"

Hello Britte,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your twelfth year with us. Happy Anniversary

Now for the good stuff: The Review.

Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.

The Story: This is the story about what happens when you ‘accidently’ hit the wrong button. In this case you are given kitchen duty.

Where Your Location Is: The location for this story is the kitchen on board a spaceship. Personally, I like to give at least one location per story. It depends on what my Word Count Limitations are as to how much detail I put into it. Sometimes it just the location – like this one pretty much is. But usually it’s more, if not a lot more, than that.

Your Main Character: Dimitra and Montague are the two main, and only, characters in this story. I like that. Personally, I try to give all of my characters a name – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have names. But that’s just the way I write my stories.

How They Spoke to Me: About half of this story was dialogue. And I like that. What I read looked good. At least it did to me.

Any Last Thoughts: You ended this with ‘To be Continued.’ Have you continued it? Is this part of a bigger Short Story? Or the beginning of a Novel?

I liked your story a lot. Keep on writing.

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586

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#4181919

Review of Stones Chorus

Review by PureSciFi

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: ASR

| (2.5)

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#1300305 by Maryann

"Superpower Reviewers HUB"

Hello Penblade,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your first year with us. Happy Anniversary

Now for the good stuff: The Review.

Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And what I could understand I liked. But it was a little confusing. I had to use my Mouse Pointer to read from one line to the next. And even that didn’t help completely.

The Story: This is a story about a war between Earth and an Alien race called Saulnulian – as seen throught the eyes of a group of students. At least I think that’s what it’s about.

Where Your Location Is: The classroom where the students and the Professor is at is the main location for this story. But the planet of Zepron 4 is also a location too.

Your Main Character: David is the only character named in this story. But he’s not the main one. It’s the Professor. Personally, I would have given him a name too. I try to give all of my characters a name – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name. But that’s just the way I write my stories.

How They Spoke to Me: There was a lot of dialogue in this story. And the dialogue itself looked good. At least it did to me.

Any Last Thoughts: Personally, I would have broken up these two very long, and confusing, paragraphs into several paragraphs each – especially the dialogue. There are some Contest Judges that would say each piece of dialogue should have its own paragraph. But I’m not quite that literal. I will break them into their own paragraphs, the descriptions within them too, but they won’t be just one piece of dialogue. There will be at least two. But, once again, that’s just the way I write my stories. I would also separate my paragraphs by a Space too.

I liked your story. Keep on writing.

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587

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#4181918

Review of Oglala's Mission

Review by PureSciFi

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (2.5)

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#1300305 by Maryann

"Superpower Reviewers HUB"

Hello Gwen Campbell,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your twelfth year with us. Happy Anniversary

Now for the good stuff: The Review.

Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it. But I was a little bit confused by it too. I’m not sure what this story is about. Most of what you wrote about was references to the Star Trek universe with a little Star Wars and a brief glance into Hitchhikers Guide to the Universe.

The Story: This is the story about in introduction to a lifeform born in space. At least I think that’s what it is about.

Where Your Location Is: Earth is the main location for this story. Or is it Earth related space? I’m not sure. Personally, I try to have at least one location in my stories. It depend on the my Word Count Limitation as to how much detail goes into it. Sometimes it’s just the location itself. But it’s usually a little bit, if not a lot, more than that.

Your Main Character: Whoever is telling this story is the main character. Personally, I would have given this person a name. I try to give all of my characters a name – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name. but that’s just the way I write my stories.

How They Spoke to Me: There was no dialogue in this story. So I can’t comment on that. But there are some Reviewers who might. And at least one Reviewer who would consider this telling instead of showing.

Any Last Thoughts: What was this story about? I still don’t know the answer to that.

I liked your story. Keep on writing.

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588

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#4181916

Review of In Shadow

Review by PureSciFi

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (3.0)

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#1300305 by Maryann

"Superpower Reviewers HUB"

Hello Jane Montero,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your second year too with us. Happy Anniversary

Now for the good stuff: The Review.

Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.

The Story: This is a story about a human looking giant who is shaking up a town by walking through it. And a man who killed it – with a knife.

Where Your Location Is: I’m not sure where this location is taking place – other than it’s a town somewhere. Is it another planet? Maybe it’s set it the past or future?

Your Main Character: Angie is the main character in this story. But the man who killed the giant, and even the giant, are a big part of this story too – especially the giant. Personally, I would have figured out a way to give them a name. but since this seen through the eyes of Angie I can see why you didn’t.

How They Spoke to Me: There was only that two lines of dialogue. And some Reviewers might not think that’s enough. There is also at least one Reviewer who would consider this telling instead of showing.

Any Last Thoughts: This story just seemed to just end. Was the giant really dead? Who was the mysterious man who killed the giant?

I liked your story a lot. Keep on writing.

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589

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#4181912

Review of A Horrifying Discovery

Review by PureSciFi

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: ASR

| (4.0)

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#1300305 by Maryann

"Superpower Reviewers HUB"

Hello Stinky,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your fourteenth year with us. Happy Anniversary

Now for the good stuff: The Review.

Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it very much. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.

The Story: This is a story about an Astronaut by the name of Julie who lands on a distant planet. A planet that turns out to be Earth.

Where Your Location Is: The location starts out being a spaceship. But then it switches to the planet Julie has landed on.

Your Main Character: Julie is the main character in this story. I like that a lot. Personally, I try to give all of my characters a name – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name. But that’s just the way I write my stories.

How They Spoke to Me: At first I didn’t think there would be any dialogue in this story. But there was. And what dialogue there was looked good to me.

Any Last Thoughts: I’m a little confused about the ending. Is it a time travel story? Maybe it’s a Parallel Planet?

I liked your story very much. Keep on writing.

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590

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#4181911

Review of Embryo

Review by PureSciFi

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: ASR

| (3.0)

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#1300305 by Maryann

"Superpower Reviewers HUB"

Hello Erin Bryson,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your fifth year with us. Happy Anniversary

Now for the good stuff: The Review.

Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot. It was a little be too sophisticated for me. But what I understood I liked. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.

The Story: This is a story about creating life through genetic engineering. Actually, it’s more of a story about what will happen if they are wrong about it being legal what they are doing – or trying to do.

Where Your Location Is: The location of this story is a lab in a research facility. At least that what it looks like to me.

Your Main Character: Dr. Reginald and Dr. Harold are the main characters in this story. I like that you gave them names. Personally, I trying to give names to all of my characters – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name. But that’s just the way I write my stories.

How They Spoke to Me: There was a lot of dialogue in this story. I like that a lot. And what dialogue there was looked good to me.

Any Last Thoughts: I think I found a couple of mistakes in your story. One is two words together without a space in between them. The second one should have been ‘an’ instead of ‘and.’ You might want to check into that.

I liked your story a lot. Keep on writing.

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#4180285

Review of The Only Light

Review by PureSciFi

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (3.0)

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#1300305 by Maryann

"Superpower Reviewers HUB"

Hello oldmansdaughter,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your eighth year with us. Happy Anniversary

Now for the good stuff: The Review.

Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot. But it looks more like a Blog to me than a Short Story. I know what that feels like. I’ve started several of my stories with a Blog entry for a Blog I haven’t created it. But they only started my story. I have still written a story between the Blog and the Footnote.

The Story: This is the story about a future who is trying to learn about the past. But their past is our future.

Where Your Location Is: The main location for this story is New York City. At least they think that’s what they have found. And thanks to a piece of paper they find it looks like they were right about that.

Your Main Character: Whoever is writing this Blog is the main character in this story. Personally, I would have given this person a name. I try to do that with all of my characters – especially my main ones. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name. But that’s just the way I write my stories.

How They Spoke to Me: The only dialogue in this story is the one from the piece of paper found in the bottle. And it looked pretty good. At least it did to me.

Any Last Thoughts: I think that you missed a word or two in your story. You might want to check into that.

I liked your story a lot. Keep on writing.

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#4180283

Review of Time

Review by PureSciFi

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (2.0)

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#1300305 by Maryann

"Superpower Reviewers HUB"

Hello Write Incognito,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your fifth year with us. Happy Anniversary

Now for the good stuff: The Review.

Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I am a little bit confused about it. It doesn’t look like a Short Story to me. It’s more like an essay or something to me.

The Story: This is supposed to be a story about time. And there is a lot of mention of this. But there isn’t too much of a story in it. There is a little – but not too much.

Where Your Location Is: The location for this story is the distant past. It’s also set in the present too. But it’s mostly in the past.

Your Main Character: Whoever is telling this story is the main character. Personally, I would have given this person a name. I try to do that with all of my characters – especially with the main ones. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name. But that’s just how I write my stories.

How They Spoke to Me: There was no dialogue in this short story. So I can’t comment on that. But there are some Reviewers who might. And at least one Reviewer who would consider this telling instead of showing.

Any Last Thoughts: Why did you categorize this as a Short Story. To me, a typical Short Story has a beginning, a middle and an end. This one doesn’t seem to have any of these.

I liked your story concept. Keep on writing.

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#4180282

Review of The man on the Bench

Review by PureSciFi

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.0)

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#1300305 by Maryann

"Superpower Reviewers HUB"

Hello Fitz,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your sixth year with us. Happy Anniversary

Now for the good stuff: The Review.

Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it very much. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.

The Story: This was the story about a man, name unknown, who ended up being the man he passed on a bench every day for two years. I liked the way you wrote this story. How you explained who the man on the bench turned out to be.

Where Your Location Is: The park with the bench in it is the main location for this story. But the business he created from beginning to end was also a big part of it too.

Your Main Character: Whoever this man is he’s the main character in this story. Personally, I would have given this man a name. I try to do that with all of my characters – especially my main ones. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name. But that’s just how I write.

How They Spoke to Me: There isn’t any dialogue in this story. So I can’t comment on that. But there are some Reviewers who still might. And at least one Reviewer who would consider this telling instead of showing.

Any Last Thoughts: I think you might have made a mistake with spelling on a word or two. The one I saw for sure was ‘passed’ that should have been ‘past.’ You might want to check into that.

I liked your story very much. Keep on writing.

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#4180281

Review of MindFreak

Review by PureSciFi

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+

| (2.5)

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#1300305 by Maryann

"Superpower Reviewers HUB"

Hello unknown,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your seventh year with us. Happy Anniversary

Now for the good stuff: The Review.

Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked the concept of your story. But I ad a little trouble reading it. Personally, I would have separated the paragraphs by a Space. I don’t know if it’s a grammar rule or not. But even if it isn’t I think a story is a lot easier to read if it is.

The Story: This is a story about a young man, I’m not sure if he’s in his early to mid-twenties or if still a teenager, who could read minds. You mentioned him being in High School. But you also wrote about six years later. So which is he: A young adult or a teenager?

Where Your Location Is: I’m not sure where the location is for this story. None were mentioned. Personally, I try to have at least one location in all of my stories. It depends on my Word Count Limitations as to how much detail I put into my locations. Sometimes it’s just the location itself. But usually it’s a little bit more, or a lot more, than that.

Your Main Character: Whoever this young adult, or teenager, is they are the main character in this story. Personally, I would have given them a name. I try to do that with all of my characters – especially the main ones. It makes a character feel more real, I think, if they have a name. But that’s just the way that I write.

How They Spoke to Me: There is no dialogue in this story. So I can’t comment on that. But there are some Reviewers who might. And at least one Reviewer who would consider this telling instead of showing.

Any Last Thoughts: Personally, I would have indented my paragraphs. I don’t think that it’s a grammar rule that you are supposed to. Most writers here don’t. Once again, that’s just the way that I write.

I liked your story concept. Keep on writing.

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#4180279

Review of Hand-Paddles

Review by PureSciFi

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: ASR

| (4.0)

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#1300305 by Maryann

"Superpower Reviewers HUB"

Hello Starr,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your thirteenth year with us. Happy Anniversary

Now for the good stuff: The Review.

Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it very much. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.

The Story: This is a story about a boy who was born with hands instead of paddles like everyone else. At first he was thought of as a freak. But by the end he was just the beginning of a world that ended up being a world with hands instead of paddles.

Where Your Location Is: I’m not exactly sure were this story location is at. There was no names given for the planet or where the boy was born etc.

Your Main Character: Whoever this boy is he is the main character in this story. Personally, I would have given him a name. I tried to give all of my characters a name – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real, it think, if they have names. But that’s just the way that I write.

How They Spoke to Me: There was no dialogue in this story. So I can’t comment on that. But there are some Reviewers who might. And at least one Reviewer who would consider this telling instead of showing.

Any Last Thoughts: Personally, I would have separated the paragraghs by a Space. I don’t think it’s a grammar rule that you should do it. But even if it isn’t I think that a story is easier to read if it is.

I liked your story very much. Keep on writing.

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#4180278

Review of From Farm to War - War Dragon-INprogress

Review by PureSciFi

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.0)

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#1300305 by Maryann

"Superpower Reviewers HUB"

Hello Silverwindrose Dragon Minstrel,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your third year with us. Happy Anniversary

Now for the good stuff: The Review.

Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it very much. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.

The Story: This is the story about a dragon named Adalina Shesha. It started talking about a dragon becoming a hero in a war. But most of the story is about a dragon hatched to protect cattle on a farm.

Where Your Location Is: The farm is the main location in this story. There is a mention of a war. But that’s all it is at the moment.

Your Main Character: Adalina is the main character in this story. But Ivantor, aka Ivan, is also a big part of it too. Even the farmer Stan is a big part of it. Personally, I probably would have given a name to the wife too. I try to give all of characters a name. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name. But that’s just the way that I write.

How They Spoke to Me: At first I didn’t think that there would be any dialogue in this story. But there was a little. And what there was looked good to me.

Any Last Thoughts: Personally, I would have separated the paragraphs with a Space. I don’t think it’s a grammar rule. But even if it isn’t I think it makes a story easier to read if it is. Personally, I wouldn’t have put ‘- in progress’ in the Title. Even if it is I wouldn’t have put it in the Title. But, once again, that’s just the way that I write. Is this the first part of a longer story i.e. a novel. If it is, have you continued it.

I liked your story very much. Keep on writing.

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#4180277

Review of Prologue

Review by PureSciFi

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (2.5)

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#1300305 by Maryann

"Superpower Reviewers HUB"

Hello Butler Wittenger,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your first year with us. Happy Anniversary

Now for the good stuff: The Review.

Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I did like it. But it was a little bit too sophisticated for me. At least the first paragraph or two. After those it got a lot better.

The Story: This is a story about a man, I think it’s a man – it reads like one, who is trying to survive in a wasteland of the future. Why it’s a wasteland is unknown.

Where Your Location Is: The location for this story is the planet Earth in the future. The distant future I hope.

Your Main Character: Whoever is telling this story is the main character in it. Personally, I would have given this person a name. I try to do that with all of my characters – especially my main ones. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name. But that’s just how I write.

How They Spoke to Me: There was no dialogue in this story. So I can’t comment on that. But there are some Reviewers who might. And at least one Reviewer who would consider this telling instead of showing.

Any Last Thoughts: Personally, I would have indented each paragraph. I’m not sure that it’s a grammar rule that you should or not, most writers here don’t, but I don’t think it is. It’s just the way that I write.

I did like your story. Keep on writing.

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#4180275

Review of Dark Story: A Mother's Love

Review by PureSciFi

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+

| (3.5)

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#1300305 by Maryann

"Superpower Reviewers HUB"

Hello June,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your fifteenth year with us. Happy Anniversary

Now for the good stuff: The Review.

Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a whole lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.

The Story: This is a story about a woman and her ten year old son, no names given, who live in a virus infested planet Earth. She is trying to get him to a tent before she dies too.

Where Your Location Is: The street they are on, a nearby alley and their final destination, a tent, are the setting in this story. Where exactly this street is at is unknown.

Your Main Character: Whoever is telling this story is the main character in this story. Personally, I would have given them names. I try to do that with all of my characters – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have names. But that’s just the way that I write.

How They Spoke to Me: There wasn’t a lot of dialogue in this story. But what there was looked good to me. I think there might be a problem though. There was a thought or two that according to at least one Contest Judge would say either it needs a single Quotation Mark around it or needs to be in italics.

Any Last Thoughts: I think you did a pretty good job with this story. Good Job.

I liked your story a whole lot. Keep on writing.

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#4180273

Review of A Friend

Review by PureSciFi

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (3.0)

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#1300305 by Maryann

"Superpower Reviewers HUB"

Hello Ryan Maxwell,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your tenth year with us. Happy Anniversary

Now for the good stuff: The Review.

Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.

The Story: This is a story of a love triangle gone bad. Ragna is jealous of the time Ariel is spending with the Military field operative – name unknown.

Where Your Location Is: I’m not exactly sure where this story is taking place. But since it involves a Military field operative and guns it sounds like it military base of some kind.

Your Main Character: Whoever is telling this story is the main character. Personally, I would have given him, or is it a her, a name too. You did it for Ragna and Ariel. But not him or her. All you needed to do was have one of them to say in name during the conversation. I try to give all of my characters a name – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name. But that’s just the way that I write.

How They Spoke to Me: The dialogue in this story looked good. At least it did to me.

Any Last Thoughts: I think you made a few mistakes with capitalization and spelling. You didn’t capitalize some of your ‘I’s. And you misspelled a few words too. Three or four that I noticed. You might want to check into that.

I liked your story a lot. Keep on writing.

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#4179262

Review of His Life on Mars

Review by PureSciFi

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (3.0)

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#1300305 by Maryann

"Superpower Reviewers HUB"

Hello Adam19842004,

I saw your name on the Anniversary Review List. And I wanted to give you an Anniversary Review. This is your seventh year with us. Happy Anniversary

Now for the good stuff: The Review.

Overall Impression: I just finished reading your Short Story. And I liked it a lot. It kept me interested in it from beginning to end. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop until I finished it.

The Story: This is a story about a man named Arthur. Who was about to leave for the Mars colony. And his friend who didn’t like it that he was leaving.

Where Your Location Is: The location for this story is an Indian Restaurant. That’s where Arthur and his friend, name unknown, are spending the last few hours together before Arthur leaves for Mars.

Your Main Character: Arthur is the main character in this story because it centers around him. But his friend is also main character too in my opinion. Personally, I would have given the friend a name too. I try to give all of my characters a name – especially the main ones. It makes them feel more real, I think, if they have a name. But that’s just how I write.

How They Spoke to Me: I think you did a very good job with this story. At least it looked good to me.

Any Last Thoughts: Personally, I would have separated the paragraphs by a space. I don’t think it’s a grammar rule. But even if it isn’t I think it’s easier to read a story if it is.

I liked your story a lot. Keep on writing.

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